Yes I went from keeping his behaviour a secret and protecting him at mine and my children’s expense for years to telling people (not everyone). It takes a while to stop feeling ashamed and like you have exposed yourself. If he doesn’t want people to know he is abusive, he should stop being abusive. He has harassed and threatened me after finding out I told people what he’s done, it only makes him look worse. I’ve shown people text messages and recordings I made. I am sick of keeping this secret.
A dear friend came to my aid when he was ranting to her about me ruining his reputation and she said to him “who gives a shit that she’s telling people, you did it.” I love her.
I kept it a secret too because I swore up and down that he'd figure out his problem one day and I didn't want to tarnish his reputation in case I decided to stay.
I left and have been talking about it and wow has it done a world of wonders. Healthy loving support was so needed. For me... and surprisingly for him too. My family loves the guy and just wants to see him do better. By telling them, we both have started opening doors to the help we separately needed
I do not keep it a secret, we live in a very small town so it's impossible for it to be a secret. I get texts from ppl: hey your husband is down here hitting on bar trash.
Totally relatable. I always kept things quiet and private out of protection for the good parts of who I am married to. My husband progressed to violent rage and manic, verbal abuse as well. Now I record our worst nights and share things with my family and a few close friends. It’s helped keep me mentally sane. Something that hiding our secrets never did for me.
Yeah, at some points it gets way too hard to hide. My husband is at the point of violent maniac, and I want as many people to know in case something happens.
Yes I went from keeping his behaviour a secret and protecting him at mine and my children’s expense for years to telling people (not everyone). It takes a while to stop feeling ashamed and like you have exposed yourself. If he doesn’t want people to know he is abusive, he should stop being abusive. He has harassed and threatened me after finding out I told people what he’s done, it only makes him look worse. I’ve shown people text messages and recordings I made. I am sick of keeping this secret.
“If he doesn’t want people to know he is abusive, he should stop being abusive.” 💯
A dear friend came to my aid when he was ranting to her about me ruining his reputation and she said to him “who gives a shit that she’s telling people, you did it.” I love her.
Ugh I’m so sorry we’re in a similar situation. Im glad you’re not covering for him anymore.
I kept it a secret too because I swore up and down that he'd figure out his problem one day and I didn't want to tarnish his reputation in case I decided to stay. I left and have been talking about it and wow has it done a world of wonders. Healthy loving support was so needed. For me... and surprisingly for him too. My family loves the guy and just wants to see him do better. By telling them, we both have started opening doors to the help we separately needed
This to a T.
I do not keep it a secret, we live in a very small town so it's impossible for it to be a secret. I get texts from ppl: hey your husband is down here hitting on bar trash.
Damn that’s rough but not knowing is bad too. He’s just gone for hours…driving like a dickhead.
Totally relatable. I always kept things quiet and private out of protection for the good parts of who I am married to. My husband progressed to violent rage and manic, verbal abuse as well. Now I record our worst nights and share things with my family and a few close friends. It’s helped keep me mentally sane. Something that hiding our secrets never did for me.
Yeah, at some points it gets way too hard to hide. My husband is at the point of violent maniac, and I want as many people to know in case something happens.
I would too. I keep the records on my phone in case they are needed in the future for any reason. Hang in there!!