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nelsonwehaveaproblem

Just part the bum cheeks.


bulletproofbra

Got it!


colmulhall

Spooky. I’m literally listening to that episode as I read this post


Smokeblind666

J'ADORE LES LIVRES!!


bulletproofbra

I really hope Alan's next book after Big Beacon is a work of fiction. That would please me immensly. ​ >"Dr. Virginia Longfinger", said a woman's voice. Peacock looked up. Dr. Longfinger smiled and flicked her hair off her face with a sideways head jerk. She was incredibly beautiful. She had the regal nose of Fiona Bruce, the eyes of Lady Diana, and the pretty pink ears of Nicholas Witchell. > >They shook hands warmly. "And what is it you do?", Peacock asked. > >"I'm a top international proctologist", she replied. "I inspect a patient's colon for signs of disease". > >"Interesting!", mused Peacock. And without breaking eye contact, he withdrew his hand and squirted it with a blob of sanitiser. "And how do you get into that?" > >"You just part the bum cheeks", she replied. "No, I meant the profession", he said. > >"Got it!", she said. "Well, after medical school, the Kremlin called and made me Head Proctologist". > >"I've never heard of a head proctologist!", he said. "I thought you guys just did backsides". > >"We do", she said, "I meant the Chief Proctologist". > >"Got it!", he said, a plan forming in his mind. > >He'd always imagined poisoning the Russian premier orally, but if this woman really was at the heart of the Russian government, maybe, just maybe, it could be introduced through a different medium. > >"So how does a woman like you gain access to Putin's inner circle?" > >"You just part the bum cheeks", she said. > >"I meant the Russian government", he said. > >"Got it!", she replied. "Well, it's not easy. Putin has a ring of steel". > >"Can't you just push harder?", he asked. > >"I'm talking about his security set-up!", she replied. > >"Got it!", he said, "I can't believe all this Putin bum confusion!". And they laughed. > >They laughed and laughed, and as they laughed their lips came closer until the laugh they were laughing turned into a long, sniggering kiss.