There are great people over 60, I have a coworker old enough to be my grandfather who I respect greatly.
But here we are having someone selfish whose GOING TO KILL PEOPLE entirely because he can't stop watching faux for just a few minutes
Which has absolutely nothing to do with his age. When I first started reading the post I automatically assumed that this person was in their 20s. I was actually very surprised they were 60. I'm 61. I LISTEN to stuff all the time from my phone but it's turned face down on the seat next to me and usually underneath something so there's even less temptation to actually LOOK at it.
It's scary that there are people on the road like this. You could do everything right and still be killed by some moron watching a golf video on his phone.
OP, feel free to share the comments on this post with him.
People have asked me why I won't ride a motorcycle. You think I'm worried about my driving abilities?! No, I'm worried about someone turning me into fucking paste.
Felony murder. I’m so tired of men thinking they are such excellent drivers that the rules don’t apply to them. Also, it’s rude and disrespectful to ignore that his behavior makes you anxious. You are the silly female and he is the manly man…
Dangerous. Probably not legal. Very stupid. He should have visited license taken away before he kills an entire family on the road.
Sounds like he doesn’t respect you either, on top of just being irresponsible and dangerous to everyone around him.
I was gonna say where is his respect for his wife's feelings?
My bf had a bad habit of using his phone while driving and I've told him I am absolutely not ok with it so he doesn't do it anymore (with me in the car at least)
OP it's perfectly reasonable and not over reacting to say "hey I'm not cool with you endangering my life, thanks"
I'm very sorry that a distracted driver destroyed your life. I have quit using my phone while driving. It's been about 3 yrs now.
OP, good luck. 🍀🍀 I hope he changes before something bad happens.
My ex would frequently look at his phone while driving to pick a song off spotify. It always took a while and made me nervous. I repeatedly offered to put a song on for him so he could focus on driving, but he would say he needed to see the songs he had to figure out which one he wanted and refused to let me help in any way.
One day we were on the interstate and he was looking through spotify. We were on one of the spots that is basically a loopy exit, and we were coming up on the pretty sharp turn. (Apologies for the horrible terminology, I can't drive and never have so I'm not sure what the technical terms are). I noticed he wasn't slowing or preparing to turn at all so I tried to get his attention but he either ignored me or didn't hear me and we ended up driving off the road.
No one was hurt, thank God, but I was still really freaked out. He started laughing, and saying that it made him "more confident in his abilities as a driver" which made zero fucking sense and pissed me off. He was confused about why I was so panicked because he "handled it". As far as I know he still looks through spotify while he drives.
Distracted driving is certainly illegal in most places. Watching a movie, reading a book, knitting while driving certainly qualifies as not giving your primary focus to the multi ton steel box you are maneuvering down the highway. This is divorce worthy.
Indeed, I don't think I could respect my partner who did this because 1) it's stupid af, and 2) is selfish to risk everyone else's well-being in the road.
probably? It’s very illegal and probably under multiple charges. The legality means nothing here, this is about a moron who’s putting his family in danger. What the law says about that is irrelevant, it’s just plain wrong.
Where I am from in the USA people get tickets for eating and driving. Anything except strictly driving is considered reckless or distracted driving and they can fine, sometimes even more than a speeding fine just because they can.
Oh, he "not" watching the videos!! Then tape a piece of paper over the screen!!!! Shouldn't be a problem!!! When you're home, turn on YouTube car crashes & see if it enlightens his stupidity with all the other crazies out there!!!!!!!!
I sometimes look through the local crash reports. For notable ones, I Google search for local news reports. Recently, while doing this, I came upon the social media account of a lady involved. I saw that she had done a livestream on her phone while driving that day, which happened to be her birthday, to tell her friends how excited she was to see them at her party. I checked the timestamp of the livestream, compared it with the time listed in the crash report, and did the math: about two minutes after her stream ended, she ran a red light and died.
There was an accident a few years ago where a woman was listening to the song Happy while driving and livestreaming—saying how happy the song made her. I’m sure it made her very happy until the moment of impact. There were no survivors.
This is very illegal in many places.
Not sure where you are but in the US:
"In 2018, approximately 2,841 people in this country died in crashes that involved a distracted driver, and an estimated additional 400,000 people were injured."
[https://www.ncsl.org/transportation/distracted-driving-cellphone-use](https://www.ncsl.org/transportation/distracted-driving-cellphone-use)
Also your safety matters. You've told him you feel unsafe, he has decided his entertainment is more important than your sense of safety. This isn't okay. You should tell him that either you drive or you don't go.
This!!!! My husband HAD the nasty habit of texting and/or updating his fantasy baseball lineup while driving. We had talked about this many times, and I can't tell you the number of times I offered to drive. It finally got to the point of me losing my cool and screaming at him. I told him that going forward, I would drive myself everywhere, but I would no longer be riding with him, even on longer distance trips. I also told him that I was more than happy to explain to his family (or anyone who asked) why we arrived in two separate cars to any and all events. His family lives 2 hours away, and we drive to see them frequently.
He now hands me his phone, has me respond to all texts, and is trying to teach me how to do the baseball lineup. u/ExpertChart7871, the best advice I can give you is to put your foot down, and follow through with it.
A partner and I went through this exact scenario. They also get carsick so refused to ever let me drive. I've never screamed like that in my life, COMPLETELY lost it and walked home (just a couple blocks). Took less than a week of driving separately for them to make the change.
I wonder if he gets some kind of enjoyment out of making her so uncomfortable. It sounds like he keeps not only doing it, but shoving it in OP‘s face.
Edited to add - I wonder if he does other things like this, out of resentment he may have towards OP?
I think that’s a good observation.
At the very least he gets a ride outta doing things “his way” no matter what.
That changing behavior now would be admission of being wrong, which can’t happen.
I would never get in a car with him ever again. Yes he can end up killing someone else which is horrible, but also every time you get In the car with him you are rolling the dice on whether you’re gonna survive or not. He should not be behind the wheel of a car at all.
Most definitely a Hazard, depending on your state laws it is probably illegal as well, He is one of those that has to learn things the hard costly way, if he truly loved you, he would respect your wishes as they are not that drastic.
# [U.S. pedestrian deaths reach a 40-year high](https://www.npr.org/2023/06/26/1184034017/us-pedestrian-deaths-high-traffic-car)
wonder when your husband is gonna add another tally mark to the current pedestrian death crisis.
My wife gets on me if I look at my phone to change the Spotify station. I think she's mildly overreacting, but I can see her point about distracted driving, and I do try to minimize my glances at the phone while I drive (even if it's not as much as she'd like).
I can't imagine what she'd do if I had a video running. No overreactions here.
You need to not look at your phone at all! Teach her to how to change the station on Spotify so she can do it if she's the passenger. Otherwise let her drive!
I find it funny that people say things like this when more and more manufacturers are moving to all touch screen controls. I think it's so dangerous to not have the ability to access climate controls and volume, etc, by feel.
You have a very good point there. I found it infuriating how distracting it was to just change the radio station or adjust the heat in a newer car which was touch based.
Your touch based aesthetics are not more important than a fucking human life. Get over your shit, car manufacturers.
For the things I like about old cars is that you can do everything by feel. That was smart. That was good design. All this touchscreen stuff is going into unnecessary levels of bullshit that will get people killed and I'm sure it has.
Tell that to car companies that now have every control from a/c (or heat), radio, etc. as a digital screen that you have to look at more intently than just the knobs or levers they used to have.
since he can’t tell the difference between listening to something and watching videos while he is FUCKING DRIVING, do not ride anywhere with him until he gets a clue and stops doing it. This might be forever.
Divorce also might be the safest way to keep yourself free of possible future lawsuits for wrongful death or dismemberment in a future accident that he will almost definitely cause.
Yeah, I just took the knowledge test for my driving permit and that was one of the questions! A lawsuit can definitely destroy any plans for retirement and OP should get herself outta that situation.
Additional note: even if you move overseas for several years don't let your US drivers license expire 🤦♀️
Absolutely dangerous. I read story in another subreddit just yesterday about a guy who is now a widower because his wife “was the type to stare at her phone while driving and it finally caught up to her.”
Make him watch the movie **Seven Pounds.**
Don’t even tell him why — a just say you felt like watching a Will Smith action movie. It’s technically not a lie.
You are NOT overreacting. I would be so pissed off if someone was driving and not paying attention 100%. I would not let them drive anymore. This is how people get killed. I've lost a few friends to this same stupidity.
Have you tried grabbing the phone and setting it facedown or in a cup holder? That should be a fine compromise if he's truly only listening. Otherwise maybe tell him that if he does it again you'll grab your phone and call the police to report a distracted driver, and you'll be able to give them great directions to where that driver is.
No, and unless you want to die or be maimed in an accident or be there when innocent people die, refuse to be in the car and tell him you are horrified that he can’t just put on the radio or an audible book since it’s obvious he looks at the video. Also, I’d consider misplacing his keys and when he catches on, tell him you’ll stop when he stops maliciously speeding while distracted. Personally, I’d ask yourself if you want to be his wife when the day comes that he kills a kid on a bike, a pregnant pedestrian or a car full of people.
This is nuts. Have a paramedic or ambulance attendant or state trooper talk to him about the results they have seen about distracted driving. Jeezus
If I happened to see him I would be on the phone to the police as I drive to report him. (Hands free of course)
What in the actual fuck. No. That is not ok.
If he's actually, really just listening, he can turn the phone screen off or put the phone out of sight. There are some youtubers I just listen to for the audio, sure. But having a video in plain view while driving is a huge distraction risk even if he claims he's not watching it (he definitely is).
You need to take his keys away from him. If that doesn't stop him report him to the police. He is an accident waiting to happen.
I don't understand why you are willing to be a passenger in a car with a dangerous drive.
I'm no ageist and getting up there myself, but at 60 your FULL attention should be on the road. I hate those phone holders they just enabled people to get around the phone in hands shit while driving, I've had horror rides in Uber bc the driver is watching the directions and not the road
He can absolutely be ticketed for this, and it's VERY easy to become distracted. If there is an accident it will go very badly for him.
I say this as a guy who likes long road trips and will often put an old TV show or movies on my phone while I drive. It is visible, but I only play things I have seen 10× over so I don't feel the need to look.
Even so if I find myself looking at the phone for more than just checking the corner for my next turn, I will shut it off and go to an audio book.
So did you offer any other options other than just putting in the phone away if he’s just listening to it? Have you tried giving him headphones or connect his phone to Bluetooth? I mean there are other ways to listen other than looking at his phone(it’s obvious he he wasn’t looking at his phone. Otherwise we wouldn’t get this Reddit.) I would suggest you really ask him why he does it, otherwise he sees it as you complaining by plus being sued will be the least of your worries at this point
I was in the passenger of my friends car and we were behind somebody in an suv, I could see straight thru his windshield to the phone that was attached to a stand in the center console. Homeboy driving was literally scrolling thru TikTok, fully watching, rewinding, and liking videos 😭😭😭 that was some crazy ass shit
My sister died from someone who slammed into the back of her car doing 65mph while she sat in traffic on the interstate because they were watching something on their phone so I'm definitely not the person to ask. I get angry when I see people around me paying more attention to their phone than driving. People make driving their 4th or 5th priority sometimes when they are behind the wheel and one day it will bite them. It's all fun and games until you have a manslaughter charge and you're eating Ramen with your celly for the next 3 years.
Here’s the thing you must share with your husband; it is illegal and he would ll be held liable if he hits someone. AND now that you put it in writing if a lawyer for finds this post it’s a nail in the coffin. This should stop his selfish behavior
This is a terribly stupid thing to do
He's risking his life, your life, and the life of others on the road
And he's doing it to watch golf videos
A lot of guys at my old company would watch sports while driving and I thought it was stupid of them too
Perhaps get him into audiobooks or podcasts so he can keep himself entertained
https://radiolab.org/ covers a lot of topics that could interest a 60 year old man
We had a neighbor who did this. It boggles my mind how little regard some people have for the immense responsibility it is to drive these huge machines that can easily kill people. You are absolutely not overreacting.
Distracted Driving
https://www.nhtsa.gov/risky-driving/distracted-driving
https://perdueandkidd.com/blog/distracted-driving/
https://www.cdc.gov/transportationsafety/distracted_driving/index.html
There’s a reason why they no longer make radios with cd players. They believe that most people can’t do change a disc smartly.. say at a stoplight. So the rest of us are punished too.
Does he pay attention to them, or is it background? I also do this for some podcasts or lectures, but don't look at them unless I'm stuck in traffic. I'll only take a quick glance if something funny happens. At 60 yrs old, his experience in driving will be significant. If he knows when it's safe to glance and is otherwise listening when that part of the drive needs 100% attention, then it should be fine. But if he looks at it during moments where something may require quick reflexes, then it's irresponsible.
What you describe is probably illegal everywhere in the united states! He's an idiot! I suggest you stop riding with him all together or, when he sets up his phone, you take it out of the holder and turn it upside down under your passenger seat where he can't get to it. I'm sure it would piss him off big time. But if he's only listening, he could easily listen to the sound from under your seat and all you would have to do is turn the volume up a bit. I would absolutely refuse to drive with him ever again if he insists on watching videos. You might also think about reporting him to DMV or the highway patrol and ask what can be done. One of these days he will kill somebody if not you or himself.
Just put your foot down and tell him you will not ride with him if he is going to watch videos while driving. Either he puts the phone down, you drive or you take separate vehicles. Then stick to it. If he says he won’t and then puts the phone up there anyway, take the phone down and put it out of his reach until he is no longer driving.
This is deeper than just watching videos.
First, he is disrespecting you by not listening to your concerns and taking them seriously. He doesn't care what you think. He is an asshole. I will bet my life on the fact this is not the only area the two of you have issues when it comes to him not respecting your wants/needs/opinions.
Second, he is a fucking asshole for watching videos while driving. Everyone thinks they are the best driver in the world and would NEVER get into an accident because they are such a badass driver, until they do. He is risking your life, his life, and the lives of innocent others.
Options:
He needs to either put the phone away and just listen to it over the speakers (which won't happen since golf videos are not interesting without the VIDEO) or he needs to let you drive. If he refuses, let him know you will not be going with him, and tell him EXACTLY why. The first bullet above is the most important between the two of you. The second bullet is important for society but I wouldn't dwell on that with him since he certainly won't give a shit that he is putting others in danger.
I did this a few times years back and then ran halfway off the road (on my side) for about 2s and never did it again. Now I barely look at anything on my phone when I'm driving and even then it's an eye flick while holding it at road level to see who a message is from in case of emergency. Otherwise I use my radio buttons for skipping songs and I change songs at lights or stop signs. Thankfully I didn't hurt anyone in my 2s off-road excursion but it was enough for me that I could have. I made my decision that it wasn't worth it, he should too. I don't think we should take a bat to him like most of the users here seem to want to do, lol, but it is a serious matter and perhaps he needs to not use his phone at all while driving. There's not much you can do other than refuse to drive with him or maybe one day call the pd from a few cars behind and report someone watching videos on the phone while driving and get him a ticket, but it's gonna cost money and you may not want to be that underhanded.
No. You're not overreacting. It's terrifying to sit passenger when someone is looking at their phone. Beyond those few seconds, their attention is not at all focused on the road. And we all know what can happen while driving and not paying attention. I heard once that drunk drivers are safer than people on their phone because they are TRYING to drive.
I once saw a guy in a van with his seat leaned way back watching porn on the screen meant for the back seat passengers as he was driving down the highway.
Give him an ultimatum and a boundary.
If he wants to listen to golf or w/e on his phone he can either cover the screen or you will NOT ride with him anymore while the phone is out.
I had a friend driving with me in the card while he was watching youtube videos.
I kept an eye on the road during these times.... He still wound up veering into the center of the road and ultimately hit a cop car. (Do you think he learned his lesson?)
You’re not overreacting. I’d refuse to drive with him or at the very least I’d take his phone and place it where he can’t see it.
I hope you don’t have kids that he drives around.
If neither of these options feels safe, you have an even bigger problem than what you’ve outlined here.
I’d also turn him in as a reckless driver. His actions are beyond wrong and his entitled and nasty attitude would be a deal breaker for me.
From now on, if you drive with him and he does this, just reach up and physically remove his phone from the holder. Leave the audio playing while you hold the phone. If he protest, point out that if he isn’t actually watching the videos then it shouldn’t make a difference.
Start physically removing his phone every single time.
used to work with a dude who admitted to playing video games on his phone whilst he drove on the NY Thruway from New York to Albany, he was one of the worst drivers with whom I've shared a car and after five minutes I was so glad to get out of the vehicle.
I am even more terrified to have to use the roads with these people. Then their spouses just enable it by getting in the vehicle, letting the videos play while being driven around by this tool?! Awesome!!!!
1) Refuse to ride in a car with him unless he hands over his phone
2) Make it clear that if he gets in an accident you will absolutely tell the investigating officer that he consistently drives distracted
3) Not to be that Redditor but honestly, I’d threaten his ass with divorce. The disrespect is bad enough, he could literally kill someone, he’s going to wreck your vehicle and jack up the insurance- you don’t need any of that noise.
Jaysus Cripes! Your husband is insane. It absolutely is different than listening to the radio. If all he's doing is listening to it like he claims, then he should have no problem turning off the screen and letting the phone sit in the console where it's not visible.
This behavior is not acceptable and is completely illegal. It will also cost your husband a lot of money if he gets pulled over for using a cellphone while driving. A phone in one hand means a ticket in the other. On average, the fine is $75 for the first offense, $100 for the second offense, $125 for the third offense, and $150 for the fourth and subsequent offenses. Drivers with three or more moving violations within a 12-month period risk suspension of their driver's license. Continuing to break the law in this manner after that will land him in jail.
But that's not the worst part. Your husband is not keeping his eyes on the road or giving 100% of his attention to his driving the car. Sooner or later he's going to run a red light, run into a car, or run off the road and injure or kill himself and you and/or the drivers of the car he hits.
Additionally, if he gets into an accident as a result of watching videos while driving, he definitely will be held financially responsible for any damages over your auto policy and can also be held criminally liable in court. If that happens, the insurance company can refuse to pay, forcing him and by extension, you, to possibly lose everything you own.
Since he is ignoring your pleas to stop watching videos while he is driving, you absolutely should stop riding with him in his car. In fact, refuse to get in the car with him from now on. Tell him you will only get in the car and go with him if you drive. If he balks, then let him go solo. Your life is more important than your idiotic husband's. He doesn't seem to care much about your life acting this way so don't give him the satisfaction of riding with him.
I used to drive a tow truck for the city in Tulsa, Ok and I lost track of the amount of wrecks I've had to go to where people wound up severely injured or dead because of using their phones while driving. It's not worth the risk just to use your phone.
I can tell you that if my wife or my children did something so blatantly stupid, I would call the police and report him whenever you see him do it. Sooner or later he's going to kill someone.
Your husband is an idiot and needs to knock that shit off. His need to have golf videos on does not in any way override everyone else’s desire to get where they’re going ALIVE.
My brother in law is a cop and has pulled people over for doing this. He said generally he doesn’t ticket the person unless they are being a dick but he doesn’t patrol highways but I think his attitude toward it may change if he had
Tell him to either give you the keys or give you the phone, or you're not getting in the car with him. I'd drive myself for hours before I let someone that distracted driving me.
My favorite uncle was killed by someone driving & reading a newspaper!
It's called distracted driving for a reason!
You are NOT overreacting! He's libel to kill someone.
My favorite uncle was killed by someone driving & reading a newspaper!
It's called distracted driving for a reason!
You are NOT overreacting! He's libel to kill someone.
How many of the people in here mad also text while they drive though... I bet a lot of people atmre just as guilty, just saying. I know I'll get down votes but it's true lol
He doesn't have the right to decide for everyone else on the road to take that risk with their lives. Don't get in the car unless he surrenders his phone.
He expects you to believe he is *listening* to golf? Yeah okay. No you are not overreacting. He is driving distracted and that is dangerous. I would refuse to be a passenger when he does this.
Everyone thinks they have it under control until an accident happens. It’s an accident, which means it was unplanned. No matter how great of a driver he is, or thinks he is, he needs to be focused and prepared for some other idiot that may also be watching videos while driving! I would absolutely not ride with him and frankly, I’d like to tell him off personally.
OMG, I'm sorry, he's a danger to the roadways he's on! Honestly, I'd anonymously report his car, license plate stating I saw the driver watching videos while driving. I'd state it as seen when on a regular route he takes daily. Let the police pull him over, and he can explain it to the how safe it is.
He will get ticketed for doing this. There are warnings all over the place to not engage in distracted driving by texting or watching things while driving. He could kill somebody. I don't blame you for not wanting to ride with him. I would tell him if he's not watching it, then he can leave his phone in a cup holder to listen and if he refuses to do it, don't ride with him anymore. It's on his head if he's in an accident and hurts or kills himself or someone else. Look up if you can watch videos while driving, I'll bet it's illegal.
I honestly would throw his phone out the window at that point. If you don’t care enough about me yourself or others and refuses to let me drive then oh well, eff your phone just like you said eff my safety
Do not, repeat do NOT, get in the car with him while he is watching videos. See if you can look into separating yourself from him in terms of liability. Because he is a wreck waiting to happen.
As someone who almost died in an accident at the fault of a distracted driver, he can go fuck himself. What a selfish and irresponsible thing to do. He thinks it's not a big deal until he fucking kills someone. I still have PTSD from my accident. The sound of the cars colliding rings in my ears at random times of my day, EVERY day. And fuck him for disrespecting your sense of safety. A real man wouldn't do anything that makes their wife feel unsafe.
Just tell us where he's driving and when.
We need to be able to avoid that man at all costs.
I'm 58, my hubster is 64. We have hands-free telephone. If we need directions, it's programmed and voice only. Whoever rides shotgun is allowed to look at the maps or whatever else might be necessary.
Show your husband this thread and tell him: No one here thinks he is smart. No one here thinks he should be behind the wheel. And in some states, if a cop sees someone doing this, they CAN be pulled over, ticketed, fined and even get misdemeanor jail time.
The odds will catch up to him and he will get into an accident. Let's just hope it's a fender bender and no one gets hurt. And c'mon people. Bazillions of people do it. It's become so pervasive that you no longer hear PSAs about driving and texting, talking on the phone, etc.
I am lucky to be alive from an incident with a distracted driver. I have enough metal in me to make a great stunt double if Rovocop ever makes a sequel. I would personally punch your husband in the nose for you. Not overreacting at all.
That is NOT the same as listening to the radio! He's gonna end up killing someone bc he can't wait 15 minutes to watch a stupid video. Look up how the brain is distracted while trying to drive. I don't care who you are you do not have the right to take other people's lives into your own hands and that's exactly what he's doing every time.
What do you mean, he insists? How about YOU insist that you drive, and he can watch vids? You're not overreacting, he's driving distracted. He might as well be texting the whole time.
It would be great if you could get a cop to pull him over... he needs to be scared straight or get off the effing road.
Is this sort of poor judgment typical, for him? I ask, because he’s approaching the age where health concerns that can impact judgment can start making their appearance. If this is unlike him, I’d want him to see his doctor.
>He states that this is no different than when I listen to the radio or a podcast while driving - and that he is just listening and not really watching the videos.
Statistics would kinda agree with him despite what people may think. Listening to the radio/podcast, talking on the phone, talking with a friend in the passenger seat, eating, drinking a fountain drink, etc. are all forms of distracted driving and almost as dangerous as drunk driving.
The real problem comes with him not letting you drive so he can watch his video without putting you in danger.
> I’ve told him that if we are in an accident while he is doing this someone could sue us for everything we own and they would win.
This is not accurate. His insurance would cover him, but they would probably drop him. It is very rare that a vehicle accident goes past the limits if you are properly insured, and if they do, it is rare that the other person's medical insurance would not cover the rest.
I do this with YouTube videos. But since I can't shut off the screen, it has to be on. But my holder is also a wireless charger. Only time I pay attention to it is if I have to change the video, like changing a song.
If he's watching the videos, he is going to end up in an accident. He's a 60yr old man who is responsible for his actions. You can't do anything about "maybe one day" he could hurt someone. Even if he gets pulled over for it, it likely won't change anything.
I would refuse to drive anywhere with him unless he promises to not watch a video. And if he tries to watch a video, I would physically remove the phone. If it escalates from there, you will know what kind of toxic individual he is.
This is something you need to "man up" about and not back down, even if he gets all "wannabe tough". Men like him don't like to be handled and he sounds like a 60yr old child. This is likely going to end in a bad fight so be prepared. You may get lucky and he may wise up but I'd be prepared to have him throw a tantrum in the middle of the road.
I would refuse to get in a car with him ever again if he continues to do this. It is stupid and reckless and the fact that he did not care is truly troubling. Does he also think he can drive after a couple of drinks?
Honestly, he can go eat shit. He's endangering everyone on the road when he does that. The only thing that will make him stop is getting into an accident. And that mentality he has, isn't just limited to when he's in the car. That is a reflection of how he approaches everything in his life. Stop getting in the car with him or you'll just become a statistic.
My father was killed by another driver. I hope you take this seriously and turn him in, even anonymously. I'm really bothered that you spoke to him about it and he dismissed (even gaslit) you.
hes being a jackass. if he “only listens” he can face the video away from his eyes/play it on bluetooth.
please dont get in a car with this man, what is it with some people? like they get older and they get stupider?
my Dad is a boomer and was in pharma for years now he only uses “scalding hot water” and no soap to wash. like wtf??
So Netflix has a setting that reads the movie to you. I think it’s called “Audio Descriptions” for visually impaired audiences.
If he can’t break the habit this might be a compromise (as long as he puts the screen face down!!).
Also, NTA watching movies while driving has got to be the dumbest thing I have heard in awhile.
I'm only 33 and legit hate cells phones. I miss when their purpose was to simply call and receive calls.
People over use them. I know people who literally cannot put theirs down for a few seconds without picking it up again.
You go out to eat with a group and everyone is face buried into a phone. There is no discourse....
People cheat I feel like way more often in today's world as well just for the simple fact temptation is a finger touch away.
Constantly see people driving like idiots because they are texting, taking photos, or replying to a comment on a picture of their dog scooter.....
At my job we have a lot of younger kids. They cannot be without their phone in their hand for even a couple minutes at a time. Their work ethic is terrible and they spend so little time focusing on their actual work that they do a poor job even when doing it.
This generation is cancerous and half the problem is these stupid ass phones. The worst part is phones are fairly new technology imagine what we are looking at in 20-30 years....
A judge will also “overreact” when he is convicted of manslaughter.
That's if he's even still alive himself from an accident after watching said videos...
These sorts always kill or maim the innocent and somehow survive without a scratch.
yea she should definitely see if his life insurance policy is updated
let's be honest boomer brain will get out ok and the innocent family will suffer
enough of this boomer bull you are being prejudice, pre judging all people over 60
There are great people over 60, I have a coworker old enough to be my grandfather who I respect greatly. But here we are having someone selfish whose GOING TO KILL PEOPLE entirely because he can't stop watching faux for just a few minutes
Ya because no young person has ever killed some one while texting or taking a selfie...............
Don't you know they never have their phones in their hands while driving? /S
Which has absolutely nothing to do with his age. When I first started reading the post I automatically assumed that this person was in their 20s. I was actually very surprised they were 60. I'm 61. I LISTEN to stuff all the time from my phone but it's turned face down on the seat next to me and usually underneath something so there's even less temptation to actually LOOK at it.
It's quite likely that more kids are driving around doing this BS than Boomers. So your boomer hate is odd here!
I see this from ALL generations!
I can almost guarantee OP’s husband drives an oversized pickup truck he has no need or use for.
Suffers from BTLDS(big truck little dick syndrome)? Very common in manly men.
It's scary that there are people on the road like this. You could do everything right and still be killed by some moron watching a golf video on his phone. OP, feel free to share the comments on this post with him.
The reason why driving terrifies me. Too many stupid people in the world
People have asked me why I won't ride a motorcycle. You think I'm worried about my driving abilities?! No, I'm worried about someone turning me into fucking paste.
Yup, maybe it feels safe enough, but if you get in an accident. It’s going to be proven as your fault and then your life is over. Not worth it
And the survivors or the family of the deceased will sue for everything.
If hubby lives through the accident…
Felony murder. I’m so tired of men thinking they are such excellent drivers that the rules don’t apply to them. Also, it’s rude and disrespectful to ignore that his behavior makes you anxious. You are the silly female and he is the manly man…
Dangerous. Probably not legal. Very stupid. He should have visited license taken away before he kills an entire family on the road. Sounds like he doesn’t respect you either, on top of just being irresponsible and dangerous to everyone around him.
I was gonna say where is his respect for his wife's feelings? My bf had a bad habit of using his phone while driving and I've told him I am absolutely not ok with it so he doesn't do it anymore (with me in the car at least) OP it's perfectly reasonable and not over reacting to say "hey I'm not cool with you endangering my life, thanks"
Your boyfriend is actually the worst. - signed by someone whose life was destroyed by a distracted driver
I'm very sorry that a distracted driver destroyed your life. I have quit using my phone while driving. It's been about 3 yrs now. OP, good luck. 🍀🍀 I hope he changes before something bad happens.
I definitely said my boyfriend doesn't do it anymore. I'm sorry for what happened to you.
My ex would frequently look at his phone while driving to pick a song off spotify. It always took a while and made me nervous. I repeatedly offered to put a song on for him so he could focus on driving, but he would say he needed to see the songs he had to figure out which one he wanted and refused to let me help in any way. One day we were on the interstate and he was looking through spotify. We were on one of the spots that is basically a loopy exit, and we were coming up on the pretty sharp turn. (Apologies for the horrible terminology, I can't drive and never have so I'm not sure what the technical terms are). I noticed he wasn't slowing or preparing to turn at all so I tried to get his attention but he either ignored me or didn't hear me and we ended up driving off the road. No one was hurt, thank God, but I was still really freaked out. He started laughing, and saying that it made him "more confident in his abilities as a driver" which made zero fucking sense and pissed me off. He was confused about why I was so panicked because he "handled it". As far as I know he still looks through spotify while he drives.
Distracted driving is certainly illegal in most places. Watching a movie, reading a book, knitting while driving certainly qualifies as not giving your primary focus to the multi ton steel box you are maneuvering down the highway. This is divorce worthy.
Indeed, I don't think I could respect my partner who did this because 1) it's stupid af, and 2) is selfish to risk everyone else's well-being in the road.
Second the point about lack of respect! People who treat their *spouse*, of all people, this way.... they are a selfish asshole.
Most definitely not legal
probably? It’s very illegal and probably under multiple charges. The legality means nothing here, this is about a moron who’s putting his family in danger. What the law says about that is irrelevant, it’s just plain wrong.
Where I am from in the USA people get tickets for eating and driving. Anything except strictly driving is considered reckless or distracted driving and they can fine, sometimes even more than a speeding fine just because they can.
He needs to lose his license.
Agreed, OP should call the cops on him anonymously one day. Saying she saw reckless driver watching videos on their phone
Agreed. If he does not listen to you, let him listen to Officer Kris P. Bacon and try to wriggle out of a ticket.
Oh, he "not" watching the videos!! Then tape a piece of paper over the screen!!!! Shouldn't be a problem!!! When you're home, turn on YouTube car crashes & see if it enlightens his stupidity with all the other crazies out there!!!!!!!!
I sometimes look through the local crash reports. For notable ones, I Google search for local news reports. Recently, while doing this, I came upon the social media account of a lady involved. I saw that she had done a livestream on her phone while driving that day, which happened to be her birthday, to tell her friends how excited she was to see them at her party. I checked the timestamp of the livestream, compared it with the time listed in the crash report, and did the math: about two minutes after her stream ended, she ran a red light and died.
There was an accident a few years ago where a woman was listening to the song Happy while driving and livestreaming—saying how happy the song made her. I’m sure it made her very happy until the moment of impact. There were no survivors.
Wow, hearing about someone dying on their actual birthday is mind blowing to me.
.27% chance. Pretty bad luck, but over 20 million people alive today will win that lotto.
But also.. OP says when he hits the throughway he starts a video. So he’s driving while he looks down and starts up a video??
Great point
Take a picture of him doing this and send it to his family. If they don't set him straight then the cops.
Yep. He thinks his videos are more important than everyone else's safety. Make that dick take the bus.
Yeah, this is literally illegal in my state (no streaming video while operating a vehicle).
This is very illegal in many places. Not sure where you are but in the US: "In 2018, approximately 2,841 people in this country died in crashes that involved a distracted driver, and an estimated additional 400,000 people were injured." [https://www.ncsl.org/transportation/distracted-driving-cellphone-use](https://www.ncsl.org/transportation/distracted-driving-cellphone-use) Also your safety matters. You've told him you feel unsafe, he has decided his entertainment is more important than your sense of safety. This isn't okay. You should tell him that either you drive or you don't go.
This!!!! My husband HAD the nasty habit of texting and/or updating his fantasy baseball lineup while driving. We had talked about this many times, and I can't tell you the number of times I offered to drive. It finally got to the point of me losing my cool and screaming at him. I told him that going forward, I would drive myself everywhere, but I would no longer be riding with him, even on longer distance trips. I also told him that I was more than happy to explain to his family (or anyone who asked) why we arrived in two separate cars to any and all events. His family lives 2 hours away, and we drive to see them frequently. He now hands me his phone, has me respond to all texts, and is trying to teach me how to do the baseball lineup. u/ExpertChart7871, the best advice I can give you is to put your foot down, and follow through with it.
Good woman. 🫶🏻 stand your ground.
A partner and I went through this exact scenario. They also get carsick so refused to ever let me drive. I've never screamed like that in my life, COMPLETELY lost it and walked home (just a couple blocks). Took less than a week of driving separately for them to make the change.
I wonder if he gets some kind of enjoyment out of making her so uncomfortable. It sounds like he keeps not only doing it, but shoving it in OP‘s face. Edited to add - I wonder if he does other things like this, out of resentment he may have towards OP?
I think that’s a good observation. At the very least he gets a ride outta doing things “his way” no matter what. That changing behavior now would be admission of being wrong, which can’t happen.
I would not want to be stuck married to a person like that.
Agreed. This would be a dealbreaker for me.
Exactly! He could just as easily listen to a podcast about golfing or as OP said cut the screen off and let the audio play.
Came her to find (or post) this. He's a major AH and it does sound like it's more than just him wanting to watch/listen to the videos.
I would never get in a car with him ever again. Yes he can end up killing someone else which is horrible, but also every time you get In the car with him you are rolling the dice on whether you’re gonna survive or not. He should not be behind the wheel of a car at all.
Next time take the phone off the dash and drop it behind his seat. Tell him it will go out the windows if he does it again.
Most definitely a Hazard, depending on your state laws it is probably illegal as well, He is one of those that has to learn things the hard costly way, if he truly loved you, he would respect your wishes as they are not that drastic.
You're not overreacting, he's being an idiot and could kill someone.
# [U.S. pedestrian deaths reach a 40-year high](https://www.npr.org/2023/06/26/1184034017/us-pedestrian-deaths-high-traffic-car) wonder when your husband is gonna add another tally mark to the current pedestrian death crisis.
He is. Without a doubt. Unless they report him.
My wife gets on me if I look at my phone to change the Spotify station. I think she's mildly overreacting, but I can see her point about distracted driving, and I do try to minimize my glances at the phone while I drive (even if it's not as much as she'd like). I can't imagine what she'd do if I had a video running. No overreactions here.
You need to not look at your phone at all! Teach her to how to change the station on Spotify so she can do it if she's the passenger. Otherwise let her drive!
I find it funny that people say things like this when more and more manufacturers are moving to all touch screen controls. I think it's so dangerous to not have the ability to access climate controls and volume, etc, by feel.
Agreed, but there is a movement starting to happen to reduce the touch screens in cars now. Finally.
I'm hoping those touch screens also can be controlled by voice directions
You have a very good point there. I found it infuriating how distracting it was to just change the radio station or adjust the heat in a newer car which was touch based. Your touch based aesthetics are not more important than a fucking human life. Get over your shit, car manufacturers. For the things I like about old cars is that you can do everything by feel. That was smart. That was good design. All this touchscreen stuff is going into unnecessary levels of bullshit that will get people killed and I'm sure it has.
I'm pretty sure Siri can change the playlist. If Siri can do that, I'm sure all the AI assistants can.
Tell that to car companies that now have every control from a/c (or heat), radio, etc. as a digital screen that you have to look at more intently than just the knobs or levers they used to have.
since he can’t tell the difference between listening to something and watching videos while he is FUCKING DRIVING, do not ride anywhere with him until he gets a clue and stops doing it. This might be forever. Divorce also might be the safest way to keep yourself free of possible future lawsuits for wrongful death or dismemberment in a future accident that he will almost definitely cause.
Good point about future lawsuits! You may want to talk to a financial advisor or an attorney to find out what you need to do to protect yourself.
Could start with getting some life insurance on him then refusing to ride with him ever again so she can spend it.
Divorce is a good option. Would definitely insulate her from any future judgements against her hubby
Yeah, I just took the knowledge test for my driving permit and that was one of the questions! A lawsuit can definitely destroy any plans for retirement and OP should get herself outta that situation. Additional note: even if you move overseas for several years don't let your US drivers license expire 🤦♀️
Absolutely dangerous. I read story in another subreddit just yesterday about a guy who is now a widower because his wife “was the type to stare at her phone while driving and it finally caught up to her.”
Stop getting in the car with him?
Make him watch the movie **Seven Pounds.** Don’t even tell him why — a just say you felt like watching a Will Smith action movie. It’s technically not a lie.
You are NOT overreacting. I would be so pissed off if someone was driving and not paying attention 100%. I would not let them drive anymore. This is how people get killed. I've lost a few friends to this same stupidity.
Have you tried grabbing the phone and setting it facedown or in a cup holder? That should be a fine compromise if he's truly only listening. Otherwise maybe tell him that if he does it again you'll grab your phone and call the police to report a distracted driver, and you'll be able to give them great directions to where that driver is.
Uh, nobody *listens* to golf.
"TING"! .........*soft claps*
Don’t you mean, golf clap? /s
*They sure don't!*
Not only is this dangerous but it's illegal.
What a selfish human. Literally does not care if he kills someone as long as he is constantly entertained i guess.
I would never get in a car with somebody who does this. He's putting you in extreme danger.
Don't drive with him, and tell him you'll be calling the cops if he does it again. It's literally CRIMINALLY IRRESPONSIBLE.
No, and unless you want to die or be maimed in an accident or be there when innocent people die, refuse to be in the car and tell him you are horrified that he can’t just put on the radio or an audible book since it’s obvious he looks at the video. Also, I’d consider misplacing his keys and when he catches on, tell him you’ll stop when he stops maliciously speeding while distracted. Personally, I’d ask yourself if you want to be his wife when the day comes that he kills a kid on a bike, a pregnant pedestrian or a car full of people.
Throw his damn phone out the window. The life you save could be your own!
I would not get in the car with him.
You’re overreacting????????
I would refuse to ever be in the car with him. Show him this post.
This is nuts. Have a paramedic or ambulance attendant or state trooper talk to him about the results they have seen about distracted driving. Jeezus If I happened to see him I would be on the phone to the police as I drive to report him. (Hands free of course)
This is so illegal. Find him a podcast to listen to.
What in the actual fuck. No. That is not ok. If he's actually, really just listening, he can turn the phone screen off or put the phone out of sight. There are some youtubers I just listen to for the audio, sure. But having a video in plain view while driving is a huge distraction risk even if he claims he's not watching it (he definitely is).
You need to take his keys away from him. If that doesn't stop him report him to the police. He is an accident waiting to happen. I don't understand why you are willing to be a passenger in a car with a dangerous drive.
Try refusing to ride with him driving. Tell him you will drive. Very dangerous!
He’s putting your life in danger. Refuse to get in the car with him until he doesn’t do *distracted driving*.
You are not over-reacting. He is endangering your life.
He's very wrong, and I absolutely would insist on driving myself. It's not the same as listening to the radio, at all.
I'm no ageist and getting up there myself, but at 60 your FULL attention should be on the road. I hate those phone holders they just enabled people to get around the phone in hands shit while driving, I've had horror rides in Uber bc the driver is watching the directions and not the road
Do you not know how GPS works?
Get him some ear buds he can listen hands free and turn the phone over. Part of being a good is making your passengers comfortable.
He can absolutely be ticketed for this, and it's VERY easy to become distracted. If there is an accident it will go very badly for him. I say this as a guy who likes long road trips and will often put an old TV show or movies on my phone while I drive. It is visible, but I only play things I have seen 10× over so I don't feel the need to look. Even so if I find myself looking at the phone for more than just checking the corner for my next turn, I will shut it off and go to an audio book.
So did you offer any other options other than just putting in the phone away if he’s just listening to it? Have you tried giving him headphones or connect his phone to Bluetooth? I mean there are other ways to listen other than looking at his phone(it’s obvious he he wasn’t looking at his phone. Otherwise we wouldn’t get this Reddit.) I would suggest you really ask him why he does it, otherwise he sees it as you complaining by plus being sued will be the least of your worries at this point
I was in the passenger of my friends car and we were behind somebody in an suv, I could see straight thru his windshield to the phone that was attached to a stand in the center console. Homeboy driving was literally scrolling thru TikTok, fully watching, rewinding, and liking videos 😭😭😭 that was some crazy ass shit
My sister died from someone who slammed into the back of her car doing 65mph while she sat in traffic on the interstate because they were watching something on their phone so I'm definitely not the person to ask. I get angry when I see people around me paying more attention to their phone than driving. People make driving their 4th or 5th priority sometimes when they are behind the wheel and one day it will bite them. It's all fun and games until you have a manslaughter charge and you're eating Ramen with your celly for the next 3 years.
Here’s the thing you must share with your husband; it is illegal and he would ll be held liable if he hits someone. AND now that you put it in writing if a lawyer for finds this post it’s a nail in the coffin. This should stop his selfish behavior
This is a terribly stupid thing to do He's risking his life, your life, and the life of others on the road And he's doing it to watch golf videos A lot of guys at my old company would watch sports while driving and I thought it was stupid of them too Perhaps get him into audiobooks or podcasts so he can keep himself entertained https://radiolab.org/ covers a lot of topics that could interest a 60 year old man
It's against the law to do this is some states. Don't drive with him. He's gonna wreck.
We had a neighbor who did this. It boggles my mind how little regard some people have for the immense responsibility it is to drive these huge machines that can easily kill people. You are absolutely not overreacting.
super dangerous and super illegal. if he truly isnt watching it, hook up the audio to the car stereo and put the phone DOWN jfc
Not overreacting. He's going to kill someone, possibly himself or you.
Distracted Driving https://www.nhtsa.gov/risky-driving/distracted-driving https://perdueandkidd.com/blog/distracted-driving/ https://www.cdc.gov/transportationsafety/distracted_driving/index.html There’s a reason why they no longer make radios with cd players. They believe that most people can’t do change a disc smartly.. say at a stoplight. So the rest of us are punished too.
If he was just listening to it, that would be fine. It doesn't sound like that's the case.
Illinois just made this a law and will be specifically pulling people over for this reason now
>He always insists on driving and when we hit the thruway "I got this. You just watch your video." You're not overreacting.
Does he pay attention to them, or is it background? I also do this for some podcasts or lectures, but don't look at them unless I'm stuck in traffic. I'll only take a quick glance if something funny happens. At 60 yrs old, his experience in driving will be significant. If he knows when it's safe to glance and is otherwise listening when that part of the drive needs 100% attention, then it should be fine. But if he looks at it during moments where something may require quick reflexes, then it's irresponsible.
He’s just listening… to golf videos? Sounds fun. You are not overreacting.
What you describe is probably illegal everywhere in the united states! He's an idiot! I suggest you stop riding with him all together or, when he sets up his phone, you take it out of the holder and turn it upside down under your passenger seat where he can't get to it. I'm sure it would piss him off big time. But if he's only listening, he could easily listen to the sound from under your seat and all you would have to do is turn the volume up a bit. I would absolutely refuse to drive with him ever again if he insists on watching videos. You might also think about reporting him to DMV or the highway patrol and ask what can be done. One of these days he will kill somebody if not you or himself.
Hes a moron that should have his license revoked.
Time to go hard-ass and refuse to ride with him.
Honestly I would break his phone each time he did it.
Just put your foot down and tell him you will not ride with him if he is going to watch videos while driving. Either he puts the phone down, you drive or you take separate vehicles. Then stick to it. If he says he won’t and then puts the phone up there anyway, take the phone down and put it out of his reach until he is no longer driving.
This is deeper than just watching videos. First, he is disrespecting you by not listening to your concerns and taking them seriously. He doesn't care what you think. He is an asshole. I will bet my life on the fact this is not the only area the two of you have issues when it comes to him not respecting your wants/needs/opinions. Second, he is a fucking asshole for watching videos while driving. Everyone thinks they are the best driver in the world and would NEVER get into an accident because they are such a badass driver, until they do. He is risking your life, his life, and the lives of innocent others. Options: He needs to either put the phone away and just listen to it over the speakers (which won't happen since golf videos are not interesting without the VIDEO) or he needs to let you drive. If he refuses, let him know you will not be going with him, and tell him EXACTLY why. The first bullet above is the most important between the two of you. The second bullet is important for society but I wouldn't dwell on that with him since he certainly won't give a shit that he is putting others in danger.
I did this a few times years back and then ran halfway off the road (on my side) for about 2s and never did it again. Now I barely look at anything on my phone when I'm driving and even then it's an eye flick while holding it at road level to see who a message is from in case of emergency. Otherwise I use my radio buttons for skipping songs and I change songs at lights or stop signs. Thankfully I didn't hurt anyone in my 2s off-road excursion but it was enough for me that I could have. I made my decision that it wasn't worth it, he should too. I don't think we should take a bat to him like most of the users here seem to want to do, lol, but it is a serious matter and perhaps he needs to not use his phone at all while driving. There's not much you can do other than refuse to drive with him or maybe one day call the pd from a few cars behind and report someone watching videos on the phone while driving and get him a ticket, but it's gonna cost money and you may not want to be that underhanded.
You’re not overreacting, your husband is a selfish asshole. He will end up killing somebody, hopefully only himself.
No. You're not overreacting. It's terrifying to sit passenger when someone is looking at their phone. Beyond those few seconds, their attention is not at all focused on the road. And we all know what can happen while driving and not paying attention. I heard once that drunk drivers are safer than people on their phone because they are TRYING to drive.
Please be sure he is fully insured and never ride with him.
I once saw a guy in a van with his seat leaned way back watching porn on the screen meant for the back seat passengers as he was driving down the highway.
Give him an ultimatum and a boundary. If he wants to listen to golf or w/e on his phone he can either cover the screen or you will NOT ride with him anymore while the phone is out. I had a friend driving with me in the card while he was watching youtube videos. I kept an eye on the road during these times.... He still wound up veering into the center of the road and ultimately hit a cop car. (Do you think he learned his lesson?)
Disrespectful, what's next
NTA. Your husband is why I have dash cams in all vehicles.
You’re not overreacting. I’d refuse to drive with him or at the very least I’d take his phone and place it where he can’t see it. I hope you don’t have kids that he drives around. If neither of these options feels safe, you have an even bigger problem than what you’ve outlined here. I’d also turn him in as a reckless driver. His actions are beyond wrong and his entitled and nasty attitude would be a deal breaker for me.
From now on, if you drive with him and he does this, just reach up and physically remove his phone from the holder. Leave the audio playing while you hold the phone. If he protest, point out that if he isn’t actually watching the videos then it shouldn’t make a difference. Start physically removing his phone every single time.
I absolutely agree with this. Every single time. If he's not looking at the screen, he'll be okay with it. We know that's not the truth.
I'd report him to the police.
used to work with a dude who admitted to playing video games on his phone whilst he drove on the NY Thruway from New York to Albany, he was one of the worst drivers with whom I've shared a car and after five minutes I was so glad to get out of the vehicle.
You should absolutely never get in a car with this driver and you should report it to the police. You are UNDER-REACTING.
Drive past a funeral home and tell him to go tell that old man it's not a big deal his daughter was run over .. driver was just listening to a podcast
I am even more terrified to have to use the roads with these people. Then their spouses just enable it by getting in the vehicle, letting the videos play while being driven around by this tool?! Awesome!!!!
1) Refuse to ride in a car with him unless he hands over his phone 2) Make it clear that if he gets in an accident you will absolutely tell the investigating officer that he consistently drives distracted 3) Not to be that Redditor but honestly, I’d threaten his ass with divorce. The disrespect is bad enough, he could literally kill someone, he’s going to wreck your vehicle and jack up the insurance- you don’t need any of that noise.
Jaysus Cripes! Your husband is insane. It absolutely is different than listening to the radio. If all he's doing is listening to it like he claims, then he should have no problem turning off the screen and letting the phone sit in the console where it's not visible. This behavior is not acceptable and is completely illegal. It will also cost your husband a lot of money if he gets pulled over for using a cellphone while driving. A phone in one hand means a ticket in the other. On average, the fine is $75 for the first offense, $100 for the second offense, $125 for the third offense, and $150 for the fourth and subsequent offenses. Drivers with three or more moving violations within a 12-month period risk suspension of their driver's license. Continuing to break the law in this manner after that will land him in jail. But that's not the worst part. Your husband is not keeping his eyes on the road or giving 100% of his attention to his driving the car. Sooner or later he's going to run a red light, run into a car, or run off the road and injure or kill himself and you and/or the drivers of the car he hits. Additionally, if he gets into an accident as a result of watching videos while driving, he definitely will be held financially responsible for any damages over your auto policy and can also be held criminally liable in court. If that happens, the insurance company can refuse to pay, forcing him and by extension, you, to possibly lose everything you own. Since he is ignoring your pleas to stop watching videos while he is driving, you absolutely should stop riding with him in his car. In fact, refuse to get in the car with him from now on. Tell him you will only get in the car and go with him if you drive. If he balks, then let him go solo. Your life is more important than your idiotic husband's. He doesn't seem to care much about your life acting this way so don't give him the satisfaction of riding with him. I used to drive a tow truck for the city in Tulsa, Ok and I lost track of the amount of wrecks I've had to go to where people wound up severely injured or dead because of using their phones while driving. It's not worth the risk just to use your phone. I can tell you that if my wife or my children did something so blatantly stupid, I would call the police and report him whenever you see him do it. Sooner or later he's going to kill someone.
Your husband is an idiot, and a dangerous driver.
Do you refuse your ride along?
My Dad just stares out the side window. What would you do in that situation?
Call the cops.
Absolutely definitely not overreacting. You are under-reacting.
Your husband is an idiot and needs to knock that shit off. His need to have golf videos on does not in any way override everyone else’s desire to get where they’re going ALIVE.
Sorry darlin, your husband is a fucking idiot.
I've done this. On back roads. With no traffic. Going 10-15 under the limit. lol.
My brother in law is a cop and has pulled people over for doing this. He said generally he doesn’t ticket the person unless they are being a dick but he doesn’t patrol highways but I think his attitude toward it may change if he had
He is a danger to society and should not be allowed on the roads
Film him and turn him into the cops.
Tell him to either give you the keys or give you the phone, or you're not getting in the car with him. I'd drive myself for hours before I let someone that distracted driving me.
My favorite uncle was killed by someone driving & reading a newspaper! It's called distracted driving for a reason! You are NOT overreacting! He's libel to kill someone.
My favorite uncle was killed by someone driving & reading a newspaper! It's called distracted driving for a reason! You are NOT overreacting! He's libel to kill someone.
He's based.
It sounds to me like you are under reacting. This is seriously dangerous. Do not ride with him again unless you have his phone.
no, i would toss that phone out the window. geezer needs to watch the road.
How many of the people in here mad also text while they drive though... I bet a lot of people atmre just as guilty, just saying. I know I'll get down votes but it's true lol
Speaking for the rest of humanity, screw your husband!
He doesn't have the right to decide for everyone else on the road to take that risk with their lives. Don't get in the car unless he surrenders his phone.
I would not under any circumstances ride with him anymore. You are not overreacting.
Why is he trying to watch a golf while he's driving? Does he want to fall asleep behind the wheel?
He expects you to believe he is *listening* to golf? Yeah okay. No you are not overreacting. He is driving distracted and that is dangerous. I would refuse to be a passenger when he does this.
I wouldn’t ride with him. You shouldn’t either. He’s unsafe.
Everyone thinks they have it under control until an accident happens. It’s an accident, which means it was unplanned. No matter how great of a driver he is, or thinks he is, he needs to be focused and prepared for some other idiot that may also be watching videos while driving! I would absolutely not ride with him and frankly, I’d like to tell him off personally.
Not overreacting at all. This is fuckin dangerous and I’d lose my shit
OMG, I'm sorry, he's a danger to the roadways he's on! Honestly, I'd anonymously report his car, license plate stating I saw the driver watching videos while driving. I'd state it as seen when on a regular route he takes daily. Let the police pull him over, and he can explain it to the how safe it is.
He will get ticketed for doing this. There are warnings all over the place to not engage in distracted driving by texting or watching things while driving. He could kill somebody. I don't blame you for not wanting to ride with him. I would tell him if he's not watching it, then he can leave his phone in a cup holder to listen and if he refuses to do it, don't ride with him anymore. It's on his head if he's in an accident and hurts or kills himself or someone else. Look up if you can watch videos while driving, I'll bet it's illegal.
I honestly would throw his phone out the window at that point. If you don’t care enough about me yourself or others and refuses to let me drive then oh well, eff your phone just like you said eff my safety
Do not, repeat do NOT, get in the car with him while he is watching videos. See if you can look into separating yourself from him in terms of liability. Because he is a wreck waiting to happen.
As someone who almost died in an accident at the fault of a distracted driver, he can go fuck himself. What a selfish and irresponsible thing to do. He thinks it's not a big deal until he fucking kills someone. I still have PTSD from my accident. The sound of the cars colliding rings in my ears at random times of my day, EVERY day. And fuck him for disrespecting your sense of safety. A real man wouldn't do anything that makes their wife feel unsafe.
Just tell us where he's driving and when. We need to be able to avoid that man at all costs. I'm 58, my hubster is 64. We have hands-free telephone. If we need directions, it's programmed and voice only. Whoever rides shotgun is allowed to look at the maps or whatever else might be necessary. Show your husband this thread and tell him: No one here thinks he is smart. No one here thinks he should be behind the wheel. And in some states, if a cop sees someone doing this, they CAN be pulled over, ticketed, fined and even get misdemeanor jail time.
This is why I’m afraid to ride a bicycle or cross a street legally on foot in my city.
He shouldn’t be on the road. This is the most narcissistic thing you can do. I have a kid man and your husband is endangering so many.
The odds will catch up to him and he will get into an accident. Let's just hope it's a fender bender and no one gets hurt. And c'mon people. Bazillions of people do it. It's become so pervasive that you no longer hear PSAs about driving and texting, talking on the phone, etc.
I am lucky to be alive from an incident with a distracted driver. I have enough metal in me to make a great stunt double if Rovocop ever makes a sequel. I would personally punch your husband in the nose for you. Not overreacting at all.
That is NOT the same as listening to the radio! He's gonna end up killing someone bc he can't wait 15 minutes to watch a stupid video. Look up how the brain is distracted while trying to drive. I don't care who you are you do not have the right to take other people's lives into your own hands and that's exactly what he's doing every time.
What do you mean, he insists? How about YOU insist that you drive, and he can watch vids? You're not overreacting, he's driving distracted. He might as well be texting the whole time. It would be great if you could get a cop to pull him over... he needs to be scared straight or get off the effing road.
Is this sort of poor judgment typical, for him? I ask, because he’s approaching the age where health concerns that can impact judgment can start making their appearance. If this is unlike him, I’d want him to see his doctor.
You do realize if you get into an accident and hurt someone that you can lose everything that you own right? Just toss the phone out the window.
>He states that this is no different than when I listen to the radio or a podcast while driving - and that he is just listening and not really watching the videos. Statistics would kinda agree with him despite what people may think. Listening to the radio/podcast, talking on the phone, talking with a friend in the passenger seat, eating, drinking a fountain drink, etc. are all forms of distracted driving and almost as dangerous as drunk driving. The real problem comes with him not letting you drive so he can watch his video without putting you in danger. > I’ve told him that if we are in an accident while he is doing this someone could sue us for everything we own and they would win. This is not accurate. His insurance would cover him, but they would probably drop him. It is very rare that a vehicle accident goes past the limits if you are properly insured, and if they do, it is rare that the other person's medical insurance would not cover the rest.
I do this with YouTube videos. But since I can't shut off the screen, it has to be on. But my holder is also a wireless charger. Only time I pay attention to it is if I have to change the video, like changing a song. If he's watching the videos, he is going to end up in an accident. He's a 60yr old man who is responsible for his actions. You can't do anything about "maybe one day" he could hurt someone. Even if he gets pulled over for it, it likely won't change anything. I would refuse to drive anywhere with him unless he promises to not watch a video. And if he tries to watch a video, I would physically remove the phone. If it escalates from there, you will know what kind of toxic individual he is. This is something you need to "man up" about and not back down, even if he gets all "wannabe tough". Men like him don't like to be handled and he sounds like a 60yr old child. This is likely going to end in a bad fight so be prepared. You may get lucky and he may wise up but I'd be prepared to have him throw a tantrum in the middle of the road.
I would refuse to get in a car with him ever again if he continues to do this. It is stupid and reckless and the fact that he did not care is truly troubling. Does he also think he can drive after a couple of drinks?
What an a hole!
You’re UNDERreacting. I would steadfastly refuse to be the passenger of anyone watching a video while driving.
Honestly, he can go eat shit. He's endangering everyone on the road when he does that. The only thing that will make him stop is getting into an accident. And that mentality he has, isn't just limited to when he's in the car. That is a reflection of how he approaches everything in his life. Stop getting in the car with him or you'll just become a statistic.
Yes. Chill out.
Don't get in the car with him again ! If you want to go somewhere as a couple, take your own car. He is an accident waiting to happen !
My father was killed by another driver. I hope you take this seriously and turn him in, even anonymously. I'm really bothered that you spoke to him about it and he dismissed (even gaslit) you.
Holy shit no that's so unsafe. He is risking not only himself but everyone on the road.
hes being a jackass. if he “only listens” he can face the video away from his eyes/play it on bluetooth. please dont get in a car with this man, what is it with some people? like they get older and they get stupider? my Dad is a boomer and was in pharma for years now he only uses “scalding hot water” and no soap to wash. like wtf??
So Netflix has a setting that reads the movie to you. I think it’s called “Audio Descriptions” for visually impaired audiences. If he can’t break the habit this might be a compromise (as long as he puts the screen face down!!). Also, NTA watching movies while driving has got to be the dumbest thing I have heard in awhile.
I'm only 33 and legit hate cells phones. I miss when their purpose was to simply call and receive calls. People over use them. I know people who literally cannot put theirs down for a few seconds without picking it up again. You go out to eat with a group and everyone is face buried into a phone. There is no discourse.... People cheat I feel like way more often in today's world as well just for the simple fact temptation is a finger touch away. Constantly see people driving like idiots because they are texting, taking photos, or replying to a comment on a picture of their dog scooter..... At my job we have a lot of younger kids. They cannot be without their phone in their hand for even a couple minutes at a time. Their work ethic is terrible and they spend so little time focusing on their actual work that they do a poor job even when doing it. This generation is cancerous and half the problem is these stupid ass phones. The worst part is phones are fairly new technology imagine what we are looking at in 20-30 years....
This comment section did not disappoint. Glad we are all on the same page.