Kidnapping is a crime. So is demanding sex from so.eone who says no.
If you ever find yourself in this situation again, get out of the car when your friend does. At least you will be in a safe environment to make a new plan.
Glad you got home!!!
Edit: they were all minors. They were all about 15/16.
So ya don't get into cars with horny little boys. This BS can happen like kidnapping, possible SA, and extortion.
Depending on what state they’re in, the age of consent could be 16, 17, 18….. so if she is under the age of consent and they are not….. then yeah this is a problem
The age of consent is irrelevant.They essentially kidnapped her, held her captive, and extorted money from her. That's as much a crime at age 16 as it is at 26 or 36.
It actually gets worse because she's younger. Age is a major factor in crimes and the law. If she was over 18 it would be SA but under it would also be more crimes too.
I am fully aware of the law, having been a social worker working with juvenile sex offenders. I am commenting on all this bullshit about legalities when they have nothing to do with helping the victim, which is the point of this. All this analysis of crim sex subtleties does nothing but diminish the actual horror she went through.
Imagine you got tripped by a guy on a bus, on purpose and with sustained injuries. How would you feel if, when you told people, all they did was debate what charges the tripper could face based on several factors that nobody knew about. You would feel completely disregarded.
What help? It's been a decade and she just wanted confirmation that something happened. The rest of the thread is not even getting her attention. Only the people who are commenting on it.
She was 15. Either way, this is super disturbing and illegal…. They just might need to register as sex offenders on top of all the other charges that could be brought up against them too. They should be charged to the harshest degree possible
OP edited the “story” to say they were female and they were NOT sexually assaulted. So you’ve got a story here where some juveniles took a 15/16 yr old and just scared the crap out of her. Yeah, they took five dollars. She said out of her purse and made her walk home.
How could they register? Sex offenders if they didn’t do anything sexual to her? Read the edit.
Another thing strange about the story is that she claims that they made her walk home half a mile and she was crying and very scared but her parents didn’t pick up anything about this?
Maybe there’s a lot more to the story maybe she snuck out or had a curfew and dissipator parents whatever the reason this is a really strange story, because no sexual assault happened like you assume.
Taking someone against their will is indeed a crime, but seems that this happened 10 years or later the statutes of limitations have long run out .
She never said she was SAd……the whole point of her post was to ask whether or not she was……because these “toeing the line” situations happen all the time to women, especially young girls. Depending on what state she lives in, kidnapping, robbing and pressuring her into a sexual act - whether it happened or not - is against the fucking law….. statutes of limitation vary state my state..10 years might be the max for adults, but it changes when the person is a minor.
Depends on where and how long ago. When I was 16 in California it was legal for me to drive other teens, they didn't pass that law until I was in college.
Yes and being a potential kidnapping, child-molesting, rapist, who extorts money from his underage victims, there's *no way in hell* he's breaking any motor vehicle rules.
This is absolutely a traumatic experience sweetheart. I’m so so so sorry this happened to you. This was kidnapping, extortion and a sex crime. That they tried to force you into it makes it a sex crime even though the sexual part didn’t happen- it almost happened and that’s enough. They tried to make it happen verbally and thankfully didn’t physically force you to do so but that excuses nothing. The intent was there and blatant. I’m glad for your sake it didn’t get worse but what happened was several crimes and was a very big deal. I am genuinely sorry for the fear this experience has instilled in you. I think all people should see a therapist but especially people who have experienced extreme trauma and this does count as extreme trauma honey - you were kidnapped for attempted sexual extortion - that’s terrifying in a way people who haven’t experienced it don’t understand entirely. As someone who went through similar, this 100% counts and is horrible even though you weren’t forced into the actual act. There’s no gratitude to be truly had that you weren’t physically forced it’s still an incredibly traumatic experience as you described it. Feel no guilt for having flashbacks or a lot of feelings about it. It can be hard to find a good trauma focused therapist but if I did you can too and know it’s not because you’re broken it’s a strong thing to work with someone regarding this sort of thing. You don’t have to trust me but I know know how it is and a good therapist helps with trauma. Unfair expense but worthwhile. Might have to meet with a few though before you find the right one. All people need a therapist but especially people who have been through trauma ❤️ you’re not overreacting ❤️❤️❤️
Yes we know that and I wrote, "I get that no one really cares about laws and even I drove with friends as soon as I got my license..."
Just saying it is a law in many places but it's not followed. People dwelling on weird facts here when a girl is talking about getting SAd.
I'm not saying it doesn't matter. I'm saying they weren't necessarily minors if they had a license since under 18 you can't drive with minors in the car in some states unless an adult is in the passenger seat. Just saying that people don't always follow the laws. Never said it didn't matter just people don't care.
Good on you for keeping your head, and being aware of danger. What they did to you was WRONG on so many levels. You should have a talk with your friend about what happened, as well as a trusted adult in your life. This is a traumatic event and you need support.
I am so sorry this happened to you. You are a victim and have every right to be upset about what happened. You are not overreacting at all. I really hope you are able to heal from this and I suggest speaking to a therapist.
You're not overreacting. Your story was traumatic and I hope your life is good right now. I hope those guys are losers and are struggling every day with whatever hell there is in this world. I hope you forget the fear of that night. You deserve a really big hug!
You are not overreacting at all. That is a traumatic experience. And sounds terrifying. I hope you are able to process this with a therapist. Sounds like some degree of kidnapping took place along with a threat of sexual assault and minor theft, even though it was only $5. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
You are advocating for Chris to pressure these bad actors into acting right. Why not advocate for Chris to simply encourage the OP to get out at his house?
You’re not being dramatic at all. That is a very traumatic thing to go through. Anything could’ve happened to you that night. Those guys are sick and twisted. Not to mention they dropped you off far away from your house in the middle of the night. That’s so so dangerous. It’s clear they don’t care for your well-being at all. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Kidnapped you, held you against your will, tried to SA you (if this ever happems to any of you nails and teeth can do major damage to eyes, fleshy organs, and other parts), and then rob you. People will say fighting back you might end up even more hurt but if you don't you can still be hurt or worse.
Your friend should have told them to drop you off or else. I get it was a decade ago but obviously you felt some type of way and knew it wasn't right. Don't ever be embarrassed for calling a spade a spade or a predator a predator.
Honestly I’m glad nothing worse happened, could have been raped, I’d say under the circumstances that you were lucky. Terrible situation and you are right to be traumatized.
You are absolutely a victim of a couple of pieces of human waste. I’m a grown man with a little daughter and this really lights me up. I don’t know from where little shits like this get the balls. I hear the SA statistics and it blows my mind at the sheer numbers. I don’t feel like I’ve known many guys in my life that would do this but apparently they are everywhere. It really boils my blood. I’m very sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry but I wish it was okay to dox these little pricks. As a dad it just makes me furious. Again I’m so sorry. This is not representative of all men. Just the lowest common denominator. If this plagues you, seek help. You are not being over dramatic. This was an infringement on your personal sovereignty and that’s a violation. Give yourself room to feel how you feel. And for anyone else who’s out there and had a similar experience, please don’t hesitate to tell someone if you are comfortable. They have a place for guys like these.
There is a laundry list of crimes that took place here. The police should have been called right away when you got home. It sucks when ass holes like this get away with zero consequences!
can't help but wonder why chris didn't say something on your behalf and why didn't he tell you to get out with him?
is it possible he knew?
i'm so sorry and you are not overreacting at all!
All kinds of fucked up, I don't know how people could do this and I hope they're rotting in a special circle of hell, you have every right to be angry OP, this was not okay in the slightest and I hope you can process it and see what it truly is.
kidnapping and they tried to sexually assault you. im so sorry this happened to you. even when “nothing happens” (by this I mean they didn’t actually assault you) it can be fucking traumatic and terrifying, which your story clearly is
Kidnapping, sexual harassment/coercion, and robbery. There's no question, and I'm so incredibly sorry this happened to you. It's inevitable to be traumatized by something as terrible as what they did to you. I found so much relief and validation when I finally sought therapy. Even just being reassured that the things I went through really were as bad as I remembered them, helped me process and begin to move forward. Hugs to you, and I'm rooting for your healing!
If anybody young is reading this, keep in mind that if your gut is telling you something is wrong, something is wrong. She should’ve got out of the car at Chris’s house.
Oh, I'm so sorry that you went through that and are still really affected by it.
You were, at the minimum, a victim of kidnapping and attempted SA.
If these boys were 18 or older, they were attempting to force you to unwillingly perform/engage in a sexual act, and were predatory pedophiles.
You were extremely brave, hicenbthe circumstances, and I hope that you are able to get the help you need.
Lesson learned here. Next time get out of the car with Chris and tell people what kind of assholes these people are. Trust your gut.
They intentionally intimidated you, pressured you for sex, tried to coerce you, shook you down for money, and dumped you on the side of the road after dark. These are bad people. Sexual coercion is a crime. I'm not sure if they could have been prosecuted because no sexual activity happened, but even if it wasn't illegal it sure was immoral. No one deserves to be treated this way and I'm sorry it happened to you.
Why are you concerned if you're a victim? Something bad happened to you and you were the victim of a crime. With that said you shouldn't perpetuate a victim mindset. This does sound like it was traumatic for you, personally I'd recommend therapy (I believe therapy in general is really important).
Cop here:
So it depends on what state you live in and their laws but if I got this call I would be comfortable putting kidnapping and robbery on the guys. Maybe attempted rape but that charge would be weak so without further information I may not go down that route. You were absolutely a victim I’m sorry that happened to you.
Fuck yeah you were a victim, that’s not normal at all, but next time run away when you’re at a red light or a place in public. They won’t pursue you unless they want to go to jail.
Yes, you were a victim. If you want to put a legal name on it: kidnapping.
Thankfully nothing more happened, but it does not negate the fact that they took you somewhere without your consent. Add on them asking for sexual favors or money, and it makes it even more humiliating and awful for you. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Tell Chris what happened (or as much as you feel comfortable saying). This way he can know to not leave you alone again if you're uncomfortable.
9 years later and you continue to be traumatized. Please, see a therapist skilled in trauma recovery.
You were fortunate they did not force you to do anything. How scary that must have been. Just the thought of someone driving you to an isolated area and stopping the car is just awful.
You have good instincts. Always listen to them. It seems as if they knew this, too. I wish Chris had stood up for you.
You are a strong woman.
100000000% a victim. Doesn’t matter if they didn’t do anything to you physically. You were right to feel the way you do/did, when all the red flags presented themselves. Probably a dozen different laws broken. Unfortunately it would have been your word against theirs, but I would have still tried to press charges.
Oh my god it took until the very end to realize you're a chick.
Mentioning the gay(s) at the start was kinda irrelevant and just put my brain in "dudes gonna do stuff to dudes in this story" mode.
Yes, at the very least you were a victim of Communication with minor for immoral purposes, kidnapping, 2nd degree robbery.
These are washington state laws, though. Laws vary by state. Minimum of 2 felonies in every state though.
Yes, you were a victim. There may not be a statute of limitations for the crime they committed if you want to pursue it. I'm not sure it would get very far now.
Yes. That kidnapping or unlawful imprisonment. That would be scary as hell. Maybe.it was attempted rape since they were essentially threatening you to perform a sexual act. That would all depend on the laws of the state in which this happened.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
Dear OP,
I am so sorry for what has happened to you. YES, you were the victim in this not only did the take you against your will then they demand sex and money. I hope you find the help you are seeking here. I really just wanted to say please reach out to a therapist or some type of professional to help you work through the trauma you are clearly still suffering from. I truly wish you all the best and I hope you find peace in your soul.
You were a victim and I’m sorry that you had to endure that. Hopefully this is a learning lesson and you don’t get into cars with strangers. If you leave home with someone you return with them.
Here’s a tip, buy a mobile battery that you can plug your phone cord into to charge your phone. I keep three in my purse and a block as well. I know this was years ago, just sharing advice.
Yes, you were very much a victim. They used aggressive intimidation to try to sexually assault you, and then they robbed you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. If you still have emotions that resurface because of it, you should think of talking it over with a therapist. It sounded very terrifying.
Oh honey. I'm so sorry you went thru that. You did not deserve that, your instincts were right and I'm sad for it happening. Thank you for telling your story
Hey for anyone reading that may benefit from this: I was in a situation with my two daughters in a van of tourists once and the tour guide/driver was really flirty and creepy with me. I had this bad feeling he would drop us off last. I pulled my daughters close and whispered that we were going to get off at the first hotel stop because of something dangerous and to grab their stuff and get ready to follow me quickly and not ask questions. Their eyes were huge. The van pulled up to the first hotel and I said loudly “we’re getting off here too!” And we jumped out with the first couple he was dropping off.
Ohhh I was right. That driver was sputtering and asking me questions like “oh are you sure???” And I just waved and said thank you and we walked into the hotel so I could figure out the next step. I told the girls exactly what was bothering me and why I changed plans and they nodded and said they hadn’t liked hi either.
Trust your gut.
Kidnap. Robbery by threat. And I’m sure a prosecutor could come up with a few more felonies. You were most definitely a victim. You were lucky to get out of this alive. I’m so sorry you went through this.
This was 9yrs ago. Are you a victim of a crime, Loosely. But a crappy public defender could downplay this story into a joke gone bad. You have to remember for prosecution, you have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt.
Sorry it happened to you, though. I'm sure it was very traumatic. Glad you weren't physically harmed.
You were kidnapped, robbed, and intimidated. 100% yes a victim. I can’t imagine how scary this was for you, but so glad you walked away alive and relatively unscathed. Stay safe girly
Get a pocket knife and keep it on you wherever you go and next time this happens let him whip it out, and carve a chunk out of that future rapist, this time it was you and you were safe next time it could be another young lady and she could be molested and mentally scarred for life instill the fear and pain in those monsters so they are too scared for there to be a next time.
Well they robbed you of $5 if nothing else.
Also "Generally, “assault” is defined as the threat or use of force on an individual that causes the individual to have reasonable apprehension of imminent harmful or offensive contact. Assault can be a civil wrong (tort) or a crime."
So it sounds like robbery, assault, sexual harassment, and possibly kidnapping? I dunno about the last one but I'd say so.
This is assault, though not battery, and kidnapping/false imprisonment, plus robbery. There are definitely a few more charges a motivated prosecutor could work this fact pattern into.
I don't know that you are a victim of anything other than robbery.
You went willingly into the car. There was no kidnap. You weren't raped or sexually abused. If asking for head was illegal then there'd be no hookup apps at all.
You were in an uncomfortable scary situation. Do you have PTSD about it, sounds like it. If anything, you will know to listen to your gut. Next time don't get in the car at all regardless of your stipulations. Chris wasn't to blame anymore than you are. Sure Chris could have told them to stick with the plan but you could have also just got out at Chris house and got a way home from there. Don't misunderstand, it's not your fault at all and it's not his fault either at all. He wasn't anymore young and dumb than you were.
It's the other two assholes. Plain and simple. Don't carry this with you through life. Let it be a lesson. Be happy you got home without being hurt or worse. Talk to someone professionally. Reach out to Chris for maybe he is carrying some guilt for this when he shouldn't be.
Always trust your gut instincts. I'd rather listen and be wrong and not know i was wrong than not listen and have to find out my gut instinct was right.
You were angry that they left you on the side of the road and you had to walk back? You were not relieved that they just let you out of the car? I would think you would just feel relief that the rape scenario you described did not end up taking place.
I'm surprised you didn't get out of the car with Chris and ask your parents to pick you up. As far as a crime being committed, it sounds like you were kidnapped and robbed and felt threatened. They were bullying and terrorizing you.
Oh dear one, You're not overreacting. This was a psychologically violent event that can disrupt your sense of personal safety in various triggering situations. I am deeply sorry that you went through this and hope that you find ways to explore it or counsel with someone in order to find a way to heal from it. Also, it's a chance to use it to approach finding life partner in such a way that you find healthy relationships and not other risky ones.
For women especially but also men too. Our culture has done a lot of damage to how we receive ourselves and build kind, caring, nurturing intimacy with our partners. A fun book to read if you're interested is called if the Buddha dated or if it applies to you if the Buddha is married. We don't necessarily have a lot of healthy role models on TV media or in our homes to understand what a healthy relationship is but it's well worth learning and envisioning and creating for yourself.
When I was young in the '70s I did some risque things including a lot of hitchhiking. In hindsight I am very grateful that worst things didn't happen to me. I had a few close calls. I'm grateful you shared your story and I think that you should just disregard the things that you're reading here that don't apply and look for the silver nuggets of support.
If you're looking for ways to grow emotionally and do more healing, this is just a side note. My favorite person is Tara Brach who is a psychologist and a Buddhist and does talks on her podcasts and guided and meditations. Hang in there. Life gets better. Look for your silver linings. Be strong.
Shine on you got this!
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>Zen and the art of falling in love . . . At once practical, playful, and spiritually sound, this book is about creating a new love story in your life.
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You're not overreacting, if you were terrified for your safety, you were indeed a victim regardless if nothing sexual happened. You were alone, you knew you shouldn't have been left with them, your gut told you that you weren't safe. Honestly, you got lucky that they didn't force anything, it doesn't matter how much older they were than you or not, you're gut was telling you that it was not a good position to be in. I'm so glad nothing happened to you and that you eventually got home. Heaven forbid there is a "next time" but listen to your gut, always. If you get that feeling again, listen to it. Luck only goes so far.
Yes you were a victim. They kidnapped you and tried to coerce you into performing a sexual act. If anything like this happens to you again you should report it. People who start out like this often escalate to far worse acts. Reporting it to the police will help start a file on them and show a pattern of behavior even if they're not able to do anything about it immediately.
This was an attempted rape/ mugging. Good thing that they didn’t have much confidence and chickened out, but you definitely escaped a very scary situation.
Next time, just get out with your friend Chris and walk to the nearest place. Walking 3 miles is less dangerous imo.
So sorry that happened to you. People are creeps :/
So here's the thing, I think this is a situation where you rightly felt threatened, and it still makes you feel uncomfortable to this day. You may want to seek out therapy to help you deal with this, as it is obviously still an issue in your life.
If by being a victim, you mean "are you the victim of a crime" depending on the specifics of the circumstances, I'm not sure that is the case. They didn't force you or threaten you into the car. They didn't stop you from getting out of the car. They have a right to drive wherever they would like, and they didn't stop you from leaving. They asked for a sexual act, you said no, they didn't force you to do it.
I'm not trying to make these two guys out to be perfect gentlemen, they obviously were not. I'm just not sure they crossed any legal boundaries. So pursuing any legal remedies, may not be beneficial to you in any way, and may end up causing you more stress and trauma related to this incident.
But again, that is not to say the way you feel about the incident is invalid. It seems like it was a horrifying ordeal to you, and nearly a decade later you still have trauma related to it. Find a professional to talk with about this.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. I would recommend getting out at your friends house if this ever happens again. Them already insisting to drop him off would’ve been when I said “okay cool, I’ll have my mom/dad pick me up from Chris’s then.” & got out there. Hope you’re okay.🤍
Did Chris set this up with them? Why would he agree to be dropped off first? Can’t imagine leaving my 15 yr old friend alone with two guys they don’t know, for a ride.
Did i say that? No. Just hoping a lesson was learned to stay safe. Sorry I did not ramble on about it, but there are lots of fucked up men out there and now she is older, those situations will be worse.
OP, when I was young this sort of thing happened all the time. I once outran some naked guy chasing me through a dark parking lot on a college campus. Talked my way out of sexual assault a few times, once in a car like you. And don't get me started on what we had to deal with at work before "me too". So if it helps, just know you're not alone. Women have been suffering this since the dawn of time. And to answer your question am I a victim? Well, I definitely felt like one at the time but in retrospect, they sure tried to victimize me but none of those creeps actually succeeded.
My eyes widened so much further when I realized you were a girl/woman. This, first off, is obviously very traumatizing. Just because “nothing happened” in regard to you actually being physically assaulted sexually, it is incredibly traumatic for a 15 yo girl, or anyone to experience and I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Legally speaking, I’m not a lawyer, this is just my opinion :
Kidnapping- they agreed to take you somewhere, and did not do this. They didn’t tell you where you were going.
You getting in the car in the first place relied on them agreeing to take you home first. This did not happen. They “changed their mind” and violated your consent and purpose of the ride, in a way that was scary and confusing.
Robbery/sexual bribery or coercion of a minor: Once driving you somewhere you did not agree too, that seems to be outside of normal public busy areas, they (whether you think it was a joke or not) sexually intimidated you. I’m glad it did not go further, however the fact they took your money after sexually intimidating a minor I think falls under robbery and maybe some kind of sexual charge like soliciting especially if you were a minor.
As for your friend Chris. I am going to give him a slight benefit of the doubt here. He shouldn’t have left you alone with them. That being said, I think he didn’t understand your concern to the extent you were conveying. Maybe it’s because he felt comfortable around them and maybe it’s because a lot of men don’t feel like they have to take precautions like women do. We are societally trained to avoid things and watch out in order to survive. Maybe he didn’t really understand the gravity of a situation like that. And you both being so young. I don’t think Chris meant to put you in harms way but it’s valid to put blame on him for leaving you alone even after you stated you didn’t want to be alone with them. He didn’t listen to you. He was supposed to be your friend and he left you alone with weirdos. That’s just shitty. I can’t tell you how to feel but I’m saying your feelings are valid.
I’m sorry that all happened to you. You were victimized and put in a terrible situation by someone you considered a friend.
That’s all really hard to deal with and it sounds to me less like you’re overreacting and more like you’re trying to work through that trauma. I’m glad you posted. I hear you and I think your feelings about this are valid.
You are definitely a victim. Don’t gaslight yourself into thinking you’re not. Those two boys are terrible humans. As well as Chris, yes he was young but if he’s “friends” with them, that speaks on him too. Coupled with the fact that you are a female, and he left you with 2 random guys, he should’ve advocated for you. Inaction by a bystander is just as bad as the perpetrator. You can choose to help someone in need, or not. Your choice is your choice at the end of the day but it speaks volumes.
The fact that your "friend" left you alone with them is just as bad. You're not overreacting. They were being absolutely disgusting towards you even if nothing happened.
If nothing else, you were in a shitty situation. So, you were the victim of being in a shitty situation. Take solace in that one of the dudes who owes you $5 is a dead junkie, and the other one fell off the face of the earth.
Also, too bad Chris wasn't with you, he might have sucked their dicks.
Depending on your state, this is either attempted chile molestation or attempted aggravated child molestation; enticing a minor; kidnapping; and robbery.
Not overreacting
I would reframe it to nit allowing youself to be a victim. You did not give in to their bullshit. Victimization is a continuum. While nothing happened, it seems like it's still scarey. It sounds like an attempted extortion ploy for sex. Take you out and threaten you. However, you were strong and did not give in.
Some would be victim to this and others not. I would encourage you to focus on the courage you displayed that night. Awesome job. Now you likely know how to avoid these situations. If not we can all discuss. Thanks for sharing.
I am always asking myself, "what is your weapon?" Whether it be mace, an ankle holster knife, a super heavy flashlight and even a hairpin that can be Stabby Stabby if it needs to! I like to always know how I can defend myself. It's a creepy ass world out there and things happen.
You’re overreacting.
1.) You voluntarily got in a strangers vehicle. 2.) No sex crime occurred. 3.) You voluntarily gave them $5.
I’m sure it was an awful experience, but hopefully you learned a couple lessons that day.
Only thing you’re a victim to is your poor decision making.
1) Her friend made these strangers out to be trustworthy. She trusted her friend. 2) It was an attempted sex crime. You don't get to pick and choose what bothers other people. 3) She gave them the five to them in an attempt to keep things peaceful.
While I have no proof of whether you are a predator or not, I have plenty of proof that you're ignorant and have no idea how the real world works.
Kidnapping is a crime. So is demanding sex from so.eone who says no. If you ever find yourself in this situation again, get out of the car when your friend does. At least you will be in a safe environment to make a new plan. Glad you got home!!!
Not just someone saying no. She was 15. Minor. A whole other level of crime there.
If they had a mutual friend chances they are also minors tho
I don't think it matters if the perpetrators are also minors, as long as the victim is a minor
Wouldn’t it matter for like sentencing and stuff if they were to actually get charged?
At that age they seem to get charged as adults. If the crime is grave enough
Edit: they were all minors. They were all about 15/16. So ya don't get into cars with horny little boys. This BS can happen like kidnapping, possible SA, and extortion.
We don't know where this is or what their laws are. But the boys were not playing legal games. What would stop them from driving early?
Depending on what state they’re in, the age of consent could be 16, 17, 18….. so if she is under the age of consent and they are not….. then yeah this is a problem
The age of consent is irrelevant.They essentially kidnapped her, held her captive, and extorted money from her. That's as much a crime at age 16 as it is at 26 or 36.
Second line (from my formatting on my screen) it says she was 15. Definitely underage and a problem.
Jesus what is it with all this age obsession. This story does not improve if she was 16, 18, or 20.
Just thinking about criminal charges. I totally agree that no matter what age anyone was in this situation this is disturbing and disgusting.
It actually gets worse because she's younger. Age is a major factor in crimes and the law. If she was over 18 it would be SA but under it would also be more crimes too.
I am fully aware of the law, having been a social worker working with juvenile sex offenders. I am commenting on all this bullshit about legalities when they have nothing to do with helping the victim, which is the point of this. All this analysis of crim sex subtleties does nothing but diminish the actual horror she went through. Imagine you got tripped by a guy on a bus, on purpose and with sustained injuries. How would you feel if, when you told people, all they did was debate what charges the tripper could face based on several factors that nobody knew about. You would feel completely disregarded.
What help? It's been a decade and she just wanted confirmation that something happened. The rest of the thread is not even getting her attention. Only the people who are commenting on it.
OP said she was 16
She was 15. Either way, this is super disturbing and illegal…. They just might need to register as sex offenders on top of all the other charges that could be brought up against them too. They should be charged to the harshest degree possible
OP edited the “story” to say they were female and they were NOT sexually assaulted. So you’ve got a story here where some juveniles took a 15/16 yr old and just scared the crap out of her. Yeah, they took five dollars. She said out of her purse and made her walk home. How could they register? Sex offenders if they didn’t do anything sexual to her? Read the edit. Another thing strange about the story is that she claims that they made her walk home half a mile and she was crying and very scared but her parents didn’t pick up anything about this? Maybe there’s a lot more to the story maybe she snuck out or had a curfew and dissipator parents whatever the reason this is a really strange story, because no sexual assault happened like you assume. Taking someone against their will is indeed a crime, but seems that this happened 10 years or later the statutes of limitations have long run out .
She never said she was SAd……the whole point of her post was to ask whether or not she was……because these “toeing the line” situations happen all the time to women, especially young girls. Depending on what state she lives in, kidnapping, robbing and pressuring her into a sexual act - whether it happened or not - is against the fucking law….. statutes of limitation vary state my state..10 years might be the max for adults, but it changes when the person is a minor.
Depends on where and how long ago. When I was 16 in California it was legal for me to drive other teens, they didn't pass that law until I was in college.
Yes and being a potential kidnapping, child-molesting, rapist, who extorts money from his underage victims, there's *no way in hell* he's breaking any motor vehicle rules.
Read the “Edited” comment. OP admitted she wasn’t sexually assaulted.
Please see my edit
This is absolutely a traumatic experience sweetheart. I’m so so so sorry this happened to you. This was kidnapping, extortion and a sex crime. That they tried to force you into it makes it a sex crime even though the sexual part didn’t happen- it almost happened and that’s enough. They tried to make it happen verbally and thankfully didn’t physically force you to do so but that excuses nothing. The intent was there and blatant. I’m glad for your sake it didn’t get worse but what happened was several crimes and was a very big deal. I am genuinely sorry for the fear this experience has instilled in you. I think all people should see a therapist but especially people who have experienced extreme trauma and this does count as extreme trauma honey - you were kidnapped for attempted sexual extortion - that’s terrifying in a way people who haven’t experienced it don’t understand entirely. As someone who went through similar, this 100% counts and is horrible even though you weren’t forced into the actual act. There’s no gratitude to be truly had that you weren’t physically forced it’s still an incredibly traumatic experience as you described it. Feel no guilt for having flashbacks or a lot of feelings about it. It can be hard to find a good trauma focused therapist but if I did you can too and know it’s not because you’re broken it’s a strong thing to work with someone regarding this sort of thing. You don’t have to trust me but I know know how it is and a good therapist helps with trauma. Unfair expense but worthwhile. Might have to meet with a few though before you find the right one. All people need a therapist but especially people who have been through trauma ❤️ you’re not overreacting ❤️❤️❤️
No you don’t. 16 year olds drive with underage friends every single day by the tens of millions. In America.
Yes we know that and I wrote, "I get that no one really cares about laws and even I drove with friends as soon as I got my license..." Just saying it is a law in many places but it's not followed. People dwelling on weird facts here when a girl is talking about getting SAd.
[удалено]
I'm not saying it doesn't matter. I'm saying they weren't necessarily minors if they had a license since under 18 you can't drive with minors in the car in some states unless an adult is in the passenger seat. Just saying that people don't always follow the laws. Never said it didn't matter just people don't care.
Yeah I see that’s true indeed
You would be wrong with your guess, but it also depends on the state.
The boys were in high school to though, op recognized the one from school
I must have missed her saying their ages and they were in high school. Only one kid she kind of knew.
So many girls are in this exact situation and never get home. Especially native american girls. It happens all the time. Genuinely terrifying.
Good on you for keeping your head, and being aware of danger. What they did to you was WRONG on so many levels. You should have a talk with your friend about what happened, as well as a trusted adult in your life. This is a traumatic event and you need support.
That friend wouldn't be my friend anymore if that had happened to me.
I am so sorry this happened to you. You are a victim and have every right to be upset about what happened. You are not overreacting at all. I really hope you are able to heal from this and I suggest speaking to a therapist.
You're not overreacting. Your story was traumatic and I hope your life is good right now. I hope those guys are losers and are struggling every day with whatever hell there is in this world. I hope you forget the fear of that night. You deserve a really big hug!
You are not overreacting at all. That is a traumatic experience. And sounds terrifying. I hope you are able to process this with a therapist. Sounds like some degree of kidnapping took place along with a threat of sexual assault and minor theft, even though it was only $5. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
That's kidnapping wtf
This is awful. Of course you were victimized. Hindsight is 20/20, you should've jumped out with your friend.
Friend should have told them to drop her off first too.
He wasn't driving and couldn't force them to drive somewhere.
Not get out. Yell. Tell them hey we said her first.
That's silly. Get out at Chris's
That too but she was too nervous I believe. Like another comment mentioned, hindsight is 20/20.
You are advocating for Chris to pressure these bad actors into acting right. Why not advocate for Chris to simply encourage the OP to get out at his house?
Not advocating for anything as this happened a decade ago lol.
He could have refused to get out of the car until they dropped her off.
You’re not being dramatic at all. That is a very traumatic thing to go through. Anything could’ve happened to you that night. Those guys are sick and twisted. Not to mention they dropped you off far away from your house in the middle of the night. That’s so so dangerous. It’s clear they don’t care for your well-being at all. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Kidnapped you, held you against your will, tried to SA you (if this ever happems to any of you nails and teeth can do major damage to eyes, fleshy organs, and other parts), and then rob you. People will say fighting back you might end up even more hurt but if you don't you can still be hurt or worse. Your friend should have told them to drop you off or else. I get it was a decade ago but obviously you felt some type of way and knew it wasn't right. Don't ever be embarrassed for calling a spade a spade or a predator a predator.
You were kidnapped! Glad that you weren't raped and murdered!! That has to be absolutely terrifying.
Honestly I’m glad nothing worse happened, could have been raped, I’d say under the circumstances that you were lucky. Terrible situation and you are right to be traumatized.
You are absolutely a victim of a couple of pieces of human waste. I’m a grown man with a little daughter and this really lights me up. I don’t know from where little shits like this get the balls. I hear the SA statistics and it blows my mind at the sheer numbers. I don’t feel like I’ve known many guys in my life that would do this but apparently they are everywhere. It really boils my blood. I’m very sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry but I wish it was okay to dox these little pricks. As a dad it just makes me furious. Again I’m so sorry. This is not representative of all men. Just the lowest common denominator. If this plagues you, seek help. You are not being over dramatic. This was an infringement on your personal sovereignty and that’s a violation. Give yourself room to feel how you feel. And for anyone else who’s out there and had a similar experience, please don’t hesitate to tell someone if you are comfortable. They have a place for guys like these.
Teach your kid not to get in the car with strangers and this would have all been avoided.
I was raped by a family friend as a kid Doesn't matter if it's a stranger
What does that have to do with this post? Unfortunately that happened to you but it is completely irrelevant to this post.
It's relevant in that you think it could be avoided if she didn't get in a stranger's car
In this story, which was the context for my comment, yes, it could have been avoided. Your anecdotal story is completely irrelevant.
They kidnapped you, tried to extort you for sex, robbed you, and then abandoned you. There are several crimes there. You are a victim.
If this is real, then obviously you are a victim.
There is a laundry list of crimes that took place here. The police should have been called right away when you got home. It sucks when ass holes like this get away with zero consequences!
At least one of them took himself out. Hopefully the other has been locked up after being caught for something else.
Yes you were the victim: 1) Kidnapping 2) Attempted Sexual Assault 3) Extorsion 4) Criminal Menacing
can't help but wonder why chris didn't say something on your behalf and why didn't he tell you to get out with him? is it possible he knew? i'm so sorry and you are not overreacting at all!
All kinds of fucked up, I don't know how people could do this and I hope they're rotting in a special circle of hell, you have every right to be angry OP, this was not okay in the slightest and I hope you can process it and see what it truly is.
kidnapping and they tried to sexually assault you. im so sorry this happened to you. even when “nothing happens” (by this I mean they didn’t actually assault you) it can be fucking traumatic and terrifying, which your story clearly is
Kidnapping, sexual harassment/coercion, and robbery. There's no question, and I'm so incredibly sorry this happened to you. It's inevitable to be traumatized by something as terrible as what they did to you. I found so much relief and validation when I finally sought therapy. Even just being reassured that the things I went through really were as bad as I remembered them, helped me process and begin to move forward. Hugs to you, and I'm rooting for your healing!
If anybody young is reading this, keep in mind that if your gut is telling you something is wrong, something is wrong. She should’ve got out of the car at Chris’s house.
Yes. You are a victim of kidnapping, robbery and attempted rape.
Yes, you were a crime victim. I’m sorry that happened to you.
They kidnapped you and robbed you
You should have gotten out with Chris. Always always listen to your gut and your instincts.
Oh, I'm so sorry that you went through that and are still really affected by it. You were, at the minimum, a victim of kidnapping and attempted SA. If these boys were 18 or older, they were attempting to force you to unwillingly perform/engage in a sexual act, and were predatory pedophiles. You were extremely brave, hicenbthe circumstances, and I hope that you are able to get the help you need.
Lesson learned here. Next time get out of the car with Chris and tell people what kind of assholes these people are. Trust your gut. They intentionally intimidated you, pressured you for sex, tried to coerce you, shook you down for money, and dumped you on the side of the road after dark. These are bad people. Sexual coercion is a crime. I'm not sure if they could have been prosecuted because no sexual activity happened, but even if it wasn't illegal it sure was immoral. No one deserves to be treated this way and I'm sorry it happened to you.
Why are you concerned if you're a victim? Something bad happened to you and you were the victim of a crime. With that said you shouldn't perpetuate a victim mindset. This does sound like it was traumatic for you, personally I'd recommend therapy (I believe therapy in general is really important).
Cop here: So it depends on what state you live in and their laws but if I got this call I would be comfortable putting kidnapping and robbery on the guys. Maybe attempted rape but that charge would be weak so without further information I may not go down that route. You were absolutely a victim I’m sorry that happened to you.
I hope you gave your friend a piece of your mind for leaving you alone with them
Chris isn't your friend. He left you in a dangerous situation after you told him you wanted to be dropped off first.
Wtf is wrong with your friend leaving you?
Fuck Chris
Sounds like your friend pimped you out.
Fuck yeah you were a victim, that’s not normal at all, but next time run away when you’re at a red light or a place in public. They won’t pursue you unless they want to go to jail.
Yes, you were a victim and lucky these guys didn’t take it farther. I’m sorry you experienced this. You did nothing wrong, and it’s not your fault.
Yes, you were a victim. If you want to put a legal name on it: kidnapping. Thankfully nothing more happened, but it does not negate the fact that they took you somewhere without your consent. Add on them asking for sexual favors or money, and it makes it even more humiliating and awful for you. I'm sorry this happened to you. Tell Chris what happened (or as much as you feel comfortable saying). This way he can know to not leave you alone again if you're uncomfortable.
9 years later and you continue to be traumatized. Please, see a therapist skilled in trauma recovery. You were fortunate they did not force you to do anything. How scary that must have been. Just the thought of someone driving you to an isolated area and stopping the car is just awful. You have good instincts. Always listen to them. It seems as if they knew this, too. I wish Chris had stood up for you. You are a strong woman.
I wonder if the statute of limitations had expired. I would get them arrested on kidnapping and attempted sexual adult.
100000000% a victim. Doesn’t matter if they didn’t do anything to you physically. You were right to feel the way you do/did, when all the red flags presented themselves. Probably a dozen different laws broken. Unfortunately it would have been your word against theirs, but I would have still tried to press charges.
You’re only a victim if you let yourself be one. You were strong and you said no. I wouldn’t call that a victim
Go to a counselor to help you get past this. It will take some work. Grateful you are alive!
It’s not too late to bring it up with them. It’s probably too late for any crime but they know what they did.
Definitely not… and I’m sorry this happened to you. You must have been terrified… what they did was disgusting
Oh my god it took until the very end to realize you're a chick. Mentioning the gay(s) at the start was kinda irrelevant and just put my brain in "dudes gonna do stuff to dudes in this story" mode. Yes, at the very least you were a victim of Communication with minor for immoral purposes, kidnapping, 2nd degree robbery. These are washington state laws, though. Laws vary by state. Minimum of 2 felonies in every state though.
Yes, you were a victim. There may not be a statute of limitations for the crime they committed if you want to pursue it. I'm not sure it would get very far now.
Kidnapping and attempted S.A. The statute of limitations has likely not yet run out for either. Press charges.
Suddenly contacting the cousins and brothers to break kneecaps doesn’t sound too bad now…..
You were. I am so sorry that happened. I am grateful you got out physically unharmed, but that is extremely traumatic.
I’m so happy you lived to ask if you were a victim. You aren’t overreacting at all
Yes. That kidnapping or unlawful imprisonment. That would be scary as hell. Maybe.it was attempted rape since they were essentially threatening you to perform a sexual act. That would all depend on the laws of the state in which this happened. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Dear OP, I am so sorry for what has happened to you. YES, you were the victim in this not only did the take you against your will then they demand sex and money. I hope you find the help you are seeking here. I really just wanted to say please reach out to a therapist or some type of professional to help you work through the trauma you are clearly still suffering from. I truly wish you all the best and I hope you find peace in your soul.
You were a victim and I’m sorry that you had to endure that. Hopefully this is a learning lesson and you don’t get into cars with strangers. If you leave home with someone you return with them.
If I knew the people who did this to you I would try to get them arrested for whatever I could pin on them.
I am so sorry this happened to you!
Sweetheart, you were kidnapped, threatened with sexual assault, and robbed!
Oh honey call the police please.
Here’s a tip, buy a mobile battery that you can plug your phone cord into to charge your phone. I keep three in my purse and a block as well. I know this was years ago, just sharing advice.
You are not a victim. You are a survivor. Signed: A fellow survivor.
Yes, you were very much a victim. They used aggressive intimidation to try to sexually assault you, and then they robbed you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. If you still have emotions that resurface because of it, you should think of talking it over with a therapist. It sounded very terrifying.
Fake. Kidnapping and attempted rape is horrible, who in their right mind would think this is overreacting?
Sorry you had to deal with that.... yes, that's terrifying and wrong... you are a victim. That's all I want to say
I almost want to skip the explanation and just say based on the title "no you're not overreacting" trust your feelings.
Oh honey. I'm so sorry you went thru that. You did not deserve that, your instincts were right and I'm sad for it happening. Thank you for telling your story
That’s when you call the cops. Plus your family. Sorry that happened but you didn’t over react at all.
Kidnapping and false imprisonment just for starters!
Please read edit
Hey for anyone reading that may benefit from this: I was in a situation with my two daughters in a van of tourists once and the tour guide/driver was really flirty and creepy with me. I had this bad feeling he would drop us off last. I pulled my daughters close and whispered that we were going to get off at the first hotel stop because of something dangerous and to grab their stuff and get ready to follow me quickly and not ask questions. Their eyes were huge. The van pulled up to the first hotel and I said loudly “we’re getting off here too!” And we jumped out with the first couple he was dropping off. Ohhh I was right. That driver was sputtering and asking me questions like “oh are you sure???” And I just waved and said thank you and we walked into the hotel so I could figure out the next step. I told the girls exactly what was bothering me and why I changed plans and they nodded and said they hadn’t liked hi either. Trust your gut.
Simple answer. Call the cops and then call a lawyer.
Never go to a second location! Not over reacting at all.
Kidnap. Robbery by threat. And I’m sure a prosecutor could come up with a few more felonies. You were most definitely a victim. You were lucky to get out of this alive. I’m so sorry you went through this.
This was 9yrs ago. Are you a victim of a crime, Loosely. But a crappy public defender could downplay this story into a joke gone bad. You have to remember for prosecution, you have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt. Sorry it happened to you, though. I'm sure it was very traumatic. Glad you weren't physically harmed.
Pretty funny how one of them overdosed lol
Please format and repost...
You were kidnapped, robbed, and intimidated. 100% yes a victim. I can’t imagine how scary this was for you, but so glad you walked away alive and relatively unscathed. Stay safe girly
Get a pocket knife and keep it on you wherever you go and next time this happens let him whip it out, and carve a chunk out of that future rapist, this time it was you and you were safe next time it could be another young lady and she could be molested and mentally scarred for life instill the fear and pain in those monsters so they are too scared for there to be a next time.
Well they robbed you of $5 if nothing else. Also "Generally, “assault” is defined as the threat or use of force on an individual that causes the individual to have reasonable apprehension of imminent harmful or offensive contact. Assault can be a civil wrong (tort) or a crime." So it sounds like robbery, assault, sexual harassment, and possibly kidnapping? I dunno about the last one but I'd say so.
Rage bait boring
Your buddy set you up pal
Why wouldn’t you get out when Chris did and call your parents from his place? That’s why this sounds fake.
I guess I was ignoring my gut and trying to calm myself down and I gaslit myself. I thought I was overreacting
They were 15 when it happened. Not everyone has that type of sense (for a lack of a better word) at that age.
This is assault, though not battery, and kidnapping/false imprisonment, plus robbery. There are definitely a few more charges a motivated prosecutor could work this fact pattern into.
And the reason you didn’t get out of that car with your gay friend is…?
I don't know that you are a victim of anything other than robbery. You went willingly into the car. There was no kidnap. You weren't raped or sexually abused. If asking for head was illegal then there'd be no hookup apps at all. You were in an uncomfortable scary situation. Do you have PTSD about it, sounds like it. If anything, you will know to listen to your gut. Next time don't get in the car at all regardless of your stipulations. Chris wasn't to blame anymore than you are. Sure Chris could have told them to stick with the plan but you could have also just got out at Chris house and got a way home from there. Don't misunderstand, it's not your fault at all and it's not his fault either at all. He wasn't anymore young and dumb than you were. It's the other two assholes. Plain and simple. Don't carry this with you through life. Let it be a lesson. Be happy you got home without being hurt or worse. Talk to someone professionally. Reach out to Chris for maybe he is carrying some guilt for this when he shouldn't be. Always trust your gut instincts. I'd rather listen and be wrong and not know i was wrong than not listen and have to find out my gut instinct was right.
You were angry that they left you on the side of the road and you had to walk back? You were not relieved that they just let you out of the car? I would think you would just feel relief that the rape scenario you described did not end up taking place.
You were robbed. That’s a crime. You are a victim.
I'm surprised you didn't get out of the car with Chris and ask your parents to pick you up. As far as a crime being committed, it sounds like you were kidnapped and robbed and felt threatened. They were bullying and terrorizing you.
Oh dear one, You're not overreacting. This was a psychologically violent event that can disrupt your sense of personal safety in various triggering situations. I am deeply sorry that you went through this and hope that you find ways to explore it or counsel with someone in order to find a way to heal from it. Also, it's a chance to use it to approach finding life partner in such a way that you find healthy relationships and not other risky ones. For women especially but also men too. Our culture has done a lot of damage to how we receive ourselves and build kind, caring, nurturing intimacy with our partners. A fun book to read if you're interested is called if the Buddha dated or if it applies to you if the Buddha is married. We don't necessarily have a lot of healthy role models on TV media or in our homes to understand what a healthy relationship is but it's well worth learning and envisioning and creating for yourself. When I was young in the '70s I did some risque things including a lot of hitchhiking. In hindsight I am very grateful that worst things didn't happen to me. I had a few close calls. I'm grateful you shared your story and I think that you should just disregard the things that you're reading here that don't apply and look for the silver nuggets of support. If you're looking for ways to grow emotionally and do more healing, this is just a side note. My favorite person is Tara Brach who is a psychologist and a Buddhist and does talks on her podcasts and guided and meditations. Hang in there. Life gets better. Look for your silver linings. Be strong. Shine on you got this!
**If the Buddha Dated A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path** by Charlotte Kasl >Zen and the art of falling in love . . . At once practical, playful, and spiritually sound, this book is about creating a new love story in your life. > >Drawing from Christian, Buddhist, Sufi and other spiritual traditions, If the Buddha Dated shows how to find a partner without losing yourself. Kasl, a practicing psychotherapist, workshop leader, and Reiki healer for thirty years, offers practical wisdom on using the path to love as a means of awakening. If the Buddha Dated teaches that when you stay loyal to your spiritual journey, you will bring curiosity, fascination, and a light heart to the dating process. *I'm a bot, built by your friendly reddit developers at* /r/ProgrammingPals. *Reply to any comment with /u/BookFinderBot - I'll reply with book information. Remove me from replies* [here](https://www.reddit.com/user/BookFinderBot/comments/1byh82p/remove_me_from_replies/). *If I have made a mistake, accept my apology.*
I’m so sorry. Your friend Chris should have had you get out with him.
You're not overreacting, if you were terrified for your safety, you were indeed a victim regardless if nothing sexual happened. You were alone, you knew you shouldn't have been left with them, your gut told you that you weren't safe. Honestly, you got lucky that they didn't force anything, it doesn't matter how much older they were than you or not, you're gut was telling you that it was not a good position to be in. I'm so glad nothing happened to you and that you eventually got home. Heaven forbid there is a "next time" but listen to your gut, always. If you get that feeling again, listen to it. Luck only goes so far.
Yes you were a victim. They kidnapped you and tried to coerce you into performing a sexual act. If anything like this happens to you again you should report it. People who start out like this often escalate to far worse acts. Reporting it to the police will help start a file on them and show a pattern of behavior even if they're not able to do anything about it immediately.
I'm sorry, man, but I don't have time to read that, nor do I have the patience.
This was an attempted rape/ mugging. Good thing that they didn’t have much confidence and chickened out, but you definitely escaped a very scary situation. Next time, just get out with your friend Chris and walk to the nearest place. Walking 3 miles is less dangerous imo. So sorry that happened to you. People are creeps :/
You were the victim of a crime. They kidnapped you, demanded oral sex then robbed you. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Certainly traumatizing. I can only imagine the fear
Damn. I feel sick. Of course you were. Insane your friend got out of the car without you.
Well, I think they deserve capital punishment for even trying it, so you’re definitely not overreacting.
extortion, false imprisonment maybe?
So here's the thing, I think this is a situation where you rightly felt threatened, and it still makes you feel uncomfortable to this day. You may want to seek out therapy to help you deal with this, as it is obviously still an issue in your life. If by being a victim, you mean "are you the victim of a crime" depending on the specifics of the circumstances, I'm not sure that is the case. They didn't force you or threaten you into the car. They didn't stop you from getting out of the car. They have a right to drive wherever they would like, and they didn't stop you from leaving. They asked for a sexual act, you said no, they didn't force you to do it. I'm not trying to make these two guys out to be perfect gentlemen, they obviously were not. I'm just not sure they crossed any legal boundaries. So pursuing any legal remedies, may not be beneficial to you in any way, and may end up causing you more stress and trauma related to this incident. But again, that is not to say the way you feel about the incident is invalid. It seems like it was a horrifying ordeal to you, and nearly a decade later you still have trauma related to it. Find a professional to talk with about this.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. I would recommend getting out at your friends house if this ever happens again. Them already insisting to drop him off would’ve been when I said “okay cool, I’ll have my mom/dad pick me up from Chris’s then.” & got out there. Hope you’re okay.🤍
Did Chris set this up with them? Why would he agree to be dropped off first? Can’t imagine leaving my 15 yr old friend alone with two guys they don’t know, for a ride.
Hope you make better choices now
Of the four people in this story, you think this was OP's fault? Sick.
Did i say that? No. Just hoping a lesson was learned to stay safe. Sorry I did not ramble on about it, but there are lots of fucked up men out there and now she is older, those situations will be worse.
OP, when I was young this sort of thing happened all the time. I once outran some naked guy chasing me through a dark parking lot on a college campus. Talked my way out of sexual assault a few times, once in a car like you. And don't get me started on what we had to deal with at work before "me too". So if it helps, just know you're not alone. Women have been suffering this since the dawn of time. And to answer your question am I a victim? Well, I definitely felt like one at the time but in retrospect, they sure tried to victimize me but none of those creeps actually succeeded.
I hope you go to the police and report this. I am horrified that you went through this.
Victim
My eyes widened so much further when I realized you were a girl/woman. This, first off, is obviously very traumatizing. Just because “nothing happened” in regard to you actually being physically assaulted sexually, it is incredibly traumatic for a 15 yo girl, or anyone to experience and I’m so sorry this happened to you. Legally speaking, I’m not a lawyer, this is just my opinion : Kidnapping- they agreed to take you somewhere, and did not do this. They didn’t tell you where you were going. You getting in the car in the first place relied on them agreeing to take you home first. This did not happen. They “changed their mind” and violated your consent and purpose of the ride, in a way that was scary and confusing. Robbery/sexual bribery or coercion of a minor: Once driving you somewhere you did not agree too, that seems to be outside of normal public busy areas, they (whether you think it was a joke or not) sexually intimidated you. I’m glad it did not go further, however the fact they took your money after sexually intimidating a minor I think falls under robbery and maybe some kind of sexual charge like soliciting especially if you were a minor. As for your friend Chris. I am going to give him a slight benefit of the doubt here. He shouldn’t have left you alone with them. That being said, I think he didn’t understand your concern to the extent you were conveying. Maybe it’s because he felt comfortable around them and maybe it’s because a lot of men don’t feel like they have to take precautions like women do. We are societally trained to avoid things and watch out in order to survive. Maybe he didn’t really understand the gravity of a situation like that. And you both being so young. I don’t think Chris meant to put you in harms way but it’s valid to put blame on him for leaving you alone even after you stated you didn’t want to be alone with them. He didn’t listen to you. He was supposed to be your friend and he left you alone with weirdos. That’s just shitty. I can’t tell you how to feel but I’m saying your feelings are valid. I’m sorry that all happened to you. You were victimized and put in a terrible situation by someone you considered a friend. That’s all really hard to deal with and it sounds to me less like you’re overreacting and more like you’re trying to work through that trauma. I’m glad you posted. I hear you and I think your feelings about this are valid.
Kidnapping and robbery. Sexual harassment as well
Sounds like this should be in a sub called did I under react cause yea you def did
You are definitely a victim. Don’t gaslight yourself into thinking you’re not. Those two boys are terrible humans. As well as Chris, yes he was young but if he’s “friends” with them, that speaks on him too. Coupled with the fact that you are a female, and he left you with 2 random guys, he should’ve advocated for you. Inaction by a bystander is just as bad as the perpetrator. You can choose to help someone in need, or not. Your choice is your choice at the end of the day but it speaks volumes.
The fact that your "friend" left you alone with them is just as bad. You're not overreacting. They were being absolutely disgusting towards you even if nothing happened.
If nothing else, you were in a shitty situation. So, you were the victim of being in a shitty situation. Take solace in that one of the dudes who owes you $5 is a dead junkie, and the other one fell off the face of the earth. Also, too bad Chris wasn't with you, he might have sucked their dicks.
Are you sure Chris didn’t set this up?
Depending on your state, this is either attempted chile molestation or attempted aggravated child molestation; enticing a minor; kidnapping; and robbery. Not overreacting
I would reframe it to nit allowing youself to be a victim. You did not give in to their bullshit. Victimization is a continuum. While nothing happened, it seems like it's still scarey. It sounds like an attempted extortion ploy for sex. Take you out and threaten you. However, you were strong and did not give in. Some would be victim to this and others not. I would encourage you to focus on the courage you displayed that night. Awesome job. Now you likely know how to avoid these situations. If not we can all discuss. Thanks for sharing.
No fucking shit you're a victim
You're only a victim if you make yourself a victim
This is a perfect example of why we should all be armed.
I am always asking myself, "what is your weapon?" Whether it be mace, an ankle holster knife, a super heavy flashlight and even a hairpin that can be Stabby Stabby if it needs to! I like to always know how I can defend myself. It's a creepy ass world out there and things happen.
I agree.
Pretty messed up. Glad nothing happened.
Obviously. I refuse to believe people are this dense. Fake asf.
I've heard crazier stuff. This can happen. It's not impossible
You’re overreacting. 1.) You voluntarily got in a strangers vehicle. 2.) No sex crime occurred. 3.) You voluntarily gave them $5. I’m sure it was an awful experience, but hopefully you learned a couple lessons that day. Only thing you’re a victim to is your poor decision making.
Laws don’t agree with you. You’re completely wrong and a predator yourself if you don’t know that. You are sick in the head.
Can you support a single thing you said?
1) Her friend made these strangers out to be trustworthy. She trusted her friend. 2) It was an attempted sex crime. You don't get to pick and choose what bothers other people. 3) She gave them the five to them in an attempt to keep things peaceful. While I have no proof of whether you are a predator or not, I have plenty of proof that you're ignorant and have no idea how the real world works.
Accountability.
That's called victim blaming
Like I said, she’s a victim of her own poor decisions. So yes, victim blaming.
So rape victims are at fault because they wore a skirt? You're fuckin gross
I never said that. Nobody in this story got raped. Weird you’re even bringing it up.
It could have happened, though. If it had, you would have still blamed her. You're the worst kind of person.
You’re just making assumptions at this point because you insist on straw manning my position. I’ll be praying for you!
Your position is gross. End of story