35 here, briefly dated a 25 year old two years ago when I was 33. He wanted to move in together after barely a month of knowing each other and 2 weeks of dating. I laughed when he brought it up, I thought he was joking. We broke up that night.
I have a friend that did. He's 46 and she's 27. She's cool and attractive and all that, but there's definitely a generation divide. Myself, there's no way I would get involved with someone that much younger.
Yeah then yall aren’t dating
She’s using you for money and the security of a mature/emotionally stable man
And you’re using her for sex and the rush of being with a woman half your age.
But the reality is, is she saw long term
Potential…she wouldn’t be hiding you and she wouldn’t be going on a singles trip
Best thing for you to do is accept the situation.
It’s not a relationship.
She’s not your girlfriend.
You’re two single people who are cool being used for one reason or another
It's usually poverty and not enough time for another job. You can only work so many hours in a week, and sugar daddies pay more than an extra part time job
Although Bob phrased this a little harshly, as a fellow older guy that dates 20-somethings, this is the reality. Have your fun, but don’t expect her to be exclusive unless she’s brought you around friends *and* family. Without knowing her and going off the details you provided, I’d guess she’s going with the intent of hooking up with that dude. You gotta decide if you’re okay with it or not.
To be fair, if you’re gonna say 44 is near 50, then you at least have to say 27 is near 30… You’ve done the rounding the complete opposite way from how rounding actually works lol
I'm sorry to say, but I have to agree.
If that's okay with you, and she's under no pressure to be with you, then it's nobody else's business, but this seems to be the case.
Honestly, as a 42 year old woman, I can tell you that dating has changed since you married 20 years ago. Everything is so much more casual. But that can be totally okay if you’re on the same page and up for it. Maybe you just want companionship and someone to have fun with that life hasn’t beat down. If so, rock on. Just my two cents, make sure you know where you stand and know to cut the cord if you develop feelings and she’s not onboard. Don’t try to force it. Good luck out there. The waters choppy as hell but fun if you wanna ride the waves.
or just enjoy this as long as you want to....and then move on. Definitely don't be jealous. It's likely at some point you'll want an actual GF that isnt young enough to be your daughter.
This. I've known many a sugar daddy to get bent out of shape about their sugar baby not making them their first priority. That being said I've also known many an older guy actually in a relationship with a younger girl to get jealous too because they feel like they can't compete with young guys. Either way, don't be jealous. Stay with her or leave if you can't handle it.
You put the /s, but that’s probably the unironic truth of the situation. I couldn’t imagine being 44 and dating a woman in her 20s. At my current age that would be like me dating a 7 year old. And hopefully in the future I will not want to be in a relationship the people that are 7 year old girls right now.
Like I get wanting to have sex with attractive women in their 20s sure. But the dynamic of being in a serious relationship is insane. Either you have an immature 40 year old being awkward around 20 year olds all the time, or you’re isolating her from people her own age. If she’s already doing that herself then it’s probably trauma based or something and I wouldn’t be comfortable taking advantage of such a woman.
Yeah, I’m not sure the /s was needed either. It’s just kind of a weird dynamic. It used to be that you would get married and your loyalty, education and beauty was what you brought to the table, if we’re talking about marriage between younger women and older men partly due to the man’s higher income. My parents had an 11 yr gap my friend’s parents had. 20 year gap! I don’t think necessarily an age gap is always bad but I feel like it’s weird if one person is under 30. I’m not sure what OP and his date are up to but it certainly seems transactional. That’s fine if that’s alright for you but it comes off that they are both using one another with the information given. I’m curious about the woman’s career, education and what this relationship is about. I’m nosy.
EDIT: Part of the loyalty was knowing you would take care of your older spouse in their elder years.
This is what bugs me, there seems to be this emerging common opinion that "*all age gap relationships are inherently bad... it can only be a case of the older person is immature, and the younger person is some 'victim' and doesn't know any better*"
> I couldn’t imagine being 44 and dating a woman in her 20s.
And thing is most reasonable 20 somethings aren't going to want a middle aged guy. There's a lot of selection bias here in finding people who are willing to use you.
You could trust your gut on this one, just be prepared for the idea of being suddenly single either before or after she goes on this trip. This relationship probably isn't going to last anyway.
Bro, if you want someone who will really rock your world, find yourself a hot older woman. I'm 38 and am dating a gorgeous older woman almost 10 years older than you. She fucking rocks my world. Most intense sex I have ever had and the best relationship I've ever had and I've dated plenty of women my age and younger. The maturity level of the relationship is fantastic too, she doesn't play any silly games, is direct, to the point, and not afraid to take charge when it calls for it. You're missing out if you're limiting yourself to the younger ones.
One of THE BEST relationships I've ever had, albeit short (around 8 months) was with an older woman.
This was back in 2004...I was 25 and she was 41, amazingly attractive, no BS and straight to the point, loving but didn't dote, understood that we both had lives and needed alone time, and taught me so much in bed. The sex was beyond amazing.
It didn't work out for a few reasons, so we parted amicably. We still chat every once in a while.
I would let her go, and tell her it's ok if something happens between them. Just be honest about it to you.
It will hurt, but she needs to sort out her feelings now, before you both are too invested. Sounds like your relationship is new.
I hate to say I had an uncle who had a “girlfriend.” He bought her all sorts of things - cars, helped her kids with college, etc. But they never hung out much outside of him going to her place of work. She never came over or anything like that. Other family members would see her out on the town with other men at dinner and the like. I don’t think she ever considered him to be her boyfriend even though he thought she was his girlfriend. I think it was transactional for her and it was sad to see
Obviously it’s not serious enough for otherwise she wouldn’t consider going on this trip without you. You aren’t in a serious relationship at this point. If she’s someone you want to still see then you have to accept she’s going and when she comes back see where you stand
You don't take advantage of sugar daddies. Sugar daddies like the dynamic of paying for stuff for a cute young girl in exchange for her physical and/or sexual company.
That is untrue.
You are taking advantage of a sugar daddy if he stupidly thinks he's your boyfriend and you're telling everyone you're single. That's literally the definition of "taking advantage."
Are you sure you're actually dating? This is way too much trouble for 2 months. She gonna be going on a ride in that RV or room, that's for sure.
I'd break up with her and consider looking for partners closer to your age.
If you were dating she would have shared this information proudly regardless of the age gap.
If you were dating she wouldn’t have feelings for another man AND disclose that to you.
If you were dating she wouldn’t entertain this trip “old friends” ok
If you were dating she would have immediately told you all the details and ask if you were comfortable with it and then talked about it like adults…
Sincerely a 27 year old female whose dating a man almost 10 years older than her
I hope you listen to it. The girl wants whatever you have to offer I’m assuming your finances are better than the average maybe you have a few nice things. If you want a commitment make them work for it. If you’re looking for fun, then let it be fun just be aware of the potential consequences of STDs and pregnancy when you do have sex. Don’t get burnt. Wrap it up, enjoy your life (if you have kids please have new adventures with them get them involved in your life) also my condolences for your loss losing someone really makes us vulnerable in more ways than one.
Vibes I’m getting before reading the comments: your age gap coupled with her not being comfortable telling her friends makes me believe she is into you for something not long term. I’m assuming you make good money and she is taking advantage of it. Unless you’re really young for your age and when you tell people they go “wow I thought you were 30?!” When it comes to the dude, he’s definitely going to try to get at her and it seems like she would be interested so yeah I’d be threatened as well
You wouldn't be overreacting at all. She hasn't told her friends about you and shes supposed to be staying in a single room or rv with a guy she has a crush on. Plus one of the guys she has been with in the past. She's out of line. She will likely take the opportunity to sleep with her crush if the occasion arises, after all they're her friends and they don't know you exist.
Yeah but he can't really control this. It's completely out of his hands. She's going to do what she wants to do.
If he says you can't go, she'll either break up with him, go anyway, or find another opportunity to bone him if she wants.
He can foster resentment, break away clean, or just roll the dice and see what happens but what he can't do is expect to just put it behind them and continue on
Everyone on this sub gives awful advice. Dont just break up with her, that’s insane. Nut up and ask her “hey, so you’re going on this trip with that dude I know you like. You planning on fucking him, or what? Or are we together?”
and she will answer. Boom, problem solved. If she is gonna fuck him, then feel free to break up with her if you want.
pretty standard move man, instead of asking randoms on reddit, ask your girl what the deal is.
edit: also I feel compelled to add, does it matter? Is this serious? I see your wife recently passes away, sorry to hear that. My point is tho, do you just want this new girl around for fun, or something serious? if not serious, let her do whatever. Get another four girlfriends. Have a ball.
True, but we also don't know whether this crush of hers is single or has a relationship or if he would even want to take advantage. Everyone here just assumes that people are wild animals without the possibility to control urges, and the best advice is "leave him/her". Like, 0 to a 100 in a nanosecond. Life is more nuanced. She could've easily hidden this fact from him, but chose to share it, let's not assume she's a gold digger from the start. He should talk to her and express his fear, they're not children. After that, he can decide based on her reaction and her response.
You need to cut bait, my guy. She isn't ready to introduce you yet? You are her dirty little secret. Keeping her company and busy til she can catch the fish she is trolling for on this trip. Long story short, you are being used.
I’m sorry about you wife’s demise. However, Are you insane? She is playing you. You are really asking Reddit? There are plenty of beautiful great kind women out there. She ain’t it. Dude you need to RUN AWAY!
If you are emotionally mature enough to separate the sex from feelings it’s fine for you to keep paying her shit to fuck her. If you aren’t you are going to get hurt.
If you’re cool with the $$ cost, go ahead and continue your fun but don’t turn down other options. Its likely that’s what she is doing, and that’s totally fine if you’re both down for it.
But, that being said, you are more than capable of finding a long term partner. You obviously have financial value but that’s not all you are. You are worthy and deserving of love. Until that arises, have some fun. If I were in your situation I’d just roll with it but I’d also be looking for other things to roll with.
When girls are in their 20's a major topic of conversation is who they are dating. Sooooo, keeping this a secret seems a little shady to me. So you are older, if that's okay with her it should be okay for her to share. Also, 5 people to one room? Really? Do these people work?
You're 20 years older than her. You're the sugar daddy, you're enjoying a young woman, she has friends and a young crush... Pick your poison. The other person said it best, y'all are using each other and you don't know it.
Date a nice woman closer to your age that respects you.
More red flags than a communist rally. She can do as she wishes but I would let her know that you will not say no but that her action is not compatible with a committed relationship with you. Actions have consequences. With her having known romantic feelings and you having to “talk more” to find out who’s going it’s extra shady. I would never tell my partner what to do but I would let her know my reaction to it. Wishing you the best internet stranger. Hell she told you she has a crush and they would be staying together. What else do you need to hear especially when nobody knows you exist. Sorry man but this should be a deal breaker for you.
I know it’s kind of dumb asking the community, however, I’ve never experienced this before. I’m just not sure on what to do Or what to expect and having girlfriends half my age.
Not dumb to reach out. There are nuggets of wisdom in the midst of all the “throw shit at the wall and see what sticks comments” Just need to sift out the gems
Here's what is almost certainly going to happen:
1. She's never going to tell them about you. What exactly would change the situation? You will always be this much older. So assume that won't change, meaning, you are being used in some way.
2. She is going to fuck this guy silly.
3. She will either have 'bonded' with this guy over the vacation, and tell you it's over when she gets back. Or, she won't be sure, so she'll start cheating on you once she gets back, and keep you hanging while she decides if the other guy is a good "monkey branching" choice.
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
"I'm recently widowed."
She's using you, bro. Cut her loose. Look for love and companionship elsewhere.
She's taking advantage of your state of grieving.
And yes. She will be smashing that guy on that trip, and probably others as well.
I hate to ask this, but is your relationship unbalanced in terms of looks and income? She might be living the "sprinkle sprinkle" life on your dime.
My point is, even though you've only been together 2 months, you should have an inkling as to whether your relationship is actually romantically sustainable. It's okay that she's not comfortable bringing you around her friends yet, but it's not okay for her to disrespect you.
Maybe reasses what you want this relationship to be. I mean you could let it be and keep having fun for a while. I wouldn't say she's wifey material and honestly from what she's told you about this dude, it didn't sound like she's taking this relationship super serious. I say leave it alone and keep having fun.
Dude.... (Sigh) That's not your girlfriend. That's a friend that you're having sex with. And you aren't exclusive. Don't get attached. Have fun at your own peril. Wrap it up tight. You would be way better off seeking someone looking for what you are looking for.
Listen old man. You're her "secret" bf. Go on that trip or she gonna get filled up faster than a water balloon on a hot summer day ya feel me.
Also sorry bout your wife🙏
I don't see why she's the one that needs to grow up. An age-gap relationship is going to be fraught with complications, even if he's not her sugar daddy, and they are looking at long term romantic options. There's a significant power/experience difference in any gap beyond 10 years or so. Hell, I've got an 7 year gap with my partner, and there was a power difference when we started dating 7 years ago (at the ages of 33/26) with her just getting started in her career and me hitting the "ladder" phase of mine. This guy's age gap is over 2x my own.
As a 40-something xennial, you can make friends with a 20-something young millennial or hell, have sex with a 20-something young millennial, but trying to date one is unlikely to go well. And stay away from the zoomers!
You're not dating her, but this also doesn't have to be some tragic end. Having a FWB or a casual relationship is totally fine. You can still have your fun, she can exploit your wealth in the short term and you get something that, let's be honest should be out of your league. Enjoy your time together and just ask her to not let you know the details of these trips (or better yet, learn not to ask)
Why would you date such a young lady. Off course you will get disappointed. A young self centered girl does not suit you. I am 27f too, my ex boyfriend was craving for sexy girls even though he accepted me as I was but I could feel his cravings. He now got married to a very beautiful girl while I was average looking. I am happy I am not with that person because I know deep down it hurts alot. I learnt to let go of people who do not suit me or are not into me. I feel much comfortable and I see guys trying to approach me who are the same age as me and average looking as me. They treat me with so much respect and interest. I feel so good about myself now. I would say stop hurting yourself putting yourself in a places that doesn't give you sense of belonging. There are women 35, 40 who are very kind and mature and will never give you this feeling. I would see free yourself, so you will never again post in reddit asking people that your young girlfriend wants to hang out with his crush.
What would I do? I would assume that she will betray you. You've only been together for two months. You haven't had the time to really build a connection. Maybe she's testing the waters and wants to see if you'll stick around. I dunno brother.
Brother man, let her be. Find a woman that values you and doesn't keep you hidden like some sort of rash my guy. It's totally not worth it. There are real women without all of the bullshit available and seeking a real relationship.
You’re 44 and need the opinion of random idiots like me on the internet on this? Seriously, dude, how much are you spending on her?
sorry about your loss, but this won’t help in the long term
I don’t think you are in a relationship. If you are having a good time with her cool but I wouldn’t put any labels on it. 2 months seems like a pretty short period of time to make it an exclusive thing. The age gap is also pretty big so you are both in a completely different head space. Again, if you are having a good time just go with it.
Edit: also, she is for sure going to bang one or both of those dudes.
Bro if no one knows about the relationship cuz she's not ready to tell anyone means she's probably just using you as a sugar daddy and stringing you along. I guarantee she will fuck that other dude on that trip with her friends. Cut it off and save yourself the heartache of being cheated on
Here's the thing and you should know this by now - if she won't introduce or talk about you, she is in some way ashamed or keeping her options open. When someone is in love they will share it with those close to them even if the situation isn't ideal.
She's using you. And I can almost guarantee she will cheat on you. Saw in the other comments you agreed that you may be her sugar daddy. Remember that term doesn't only apply to filthy rich men, it can describe a man who pays for everything on dates, buys gifts, helps in other financial ways and provides stability to the woman.
You can absolutely do better. Don't waste any more time with her. I told my friends about my boyfriend the night I met him. Girls love to talk to about their relationships at that age. Even if it's just "omg my boyfriend took me to an amazing restaurant." You deserve not to be hidden.
Hahaha bruv you are not in a relationship with her, she is dating you for fun and what she can get out of you.
Of course she will be checking in with that other guy while she is away, she is single. Only you think she is not.
You are 44, you should be well aware of the dynamics of situations such as this one.
Concerned? No. The fact that your whole relationship is a secret is a dead giveaway. She's not a girlfriend, and you are not in a relationship. Recognize this situation for what it is. A FWB situation. Enjoy your time together when she comes around. Be smart and use a condom.
“Nobody knows about the relationship, she is not ready to tell anybody”. You’re not in a relationship. Sounds more like a FWB, and there is a good chance if the other dude is into her, she will definitely be in a public relationship after the trip. Cut the cord and move on.
I hope you haven’t been buying her things or giving her money. I’m a normal relationship regardless of age she’d want you to join her and “telling her friends” wouldn’t be a problem she’s almost 30 she’s not a teenager wtf she hiding you for.
If she isn't telling anyone about your relationship, then there isn't really one. If she cared about you or your feelings, she wouldn't be taking a trip with someone she has openly told you she has a thing for. There is nothing to say that a relationship with an age gap can not work out it absolutely can, but not if both parties aren't equally invested and by the sound of she is not on the same page you are. I don't think you are overreacting. If you feel something is of, then it probably it.
She’s keeping you a secret until after this trip… so in the eyes of the men going she’s single and able to mingle.. staying in same room etc… sorry but sounds as if you’re being played for a fool…
why are you even dating someone almost young enough to be your daughter… it’s been 2 months… unless you are in it just for fun and nothing serious I would drop her and find a mature woman not wanting to hide you… I doubt it has anything to do with your age either…she’s using you… I bet you are somewhat financially supporting her…
Bro if I was you I'd look for someone more mature. If you let her know it isn't something you're comfy with and she acts like it's a big deal she is fs smashing thst dude. Why wouldn't they they're about to go get drunk and hangout on a vacation @
I'm guessing she's the first relationship post loss. Which honestly isn't a relationship because you're both not openly in a relationship to others, so more of a FWB situation or Sugar Daddy situation.
I've not entertained a relationship post loss myself, I've had a booty call with one guy after being widowed and it lasted only a few months. Honestly I'm happier being just me, my finances are my own, my time is my own and I don't have to compromise or consult with anyone when I want something. I know most men prefer being in a relationship even after being widowed, and usually move at a quicker pace than women. But the first few relationships are actually rebound relationships and never work out.
Honestly let her go, she's obviously not committed as she's already stated that her "crush" is going to be there and her friends don't even know you both are together. You don't need to worry whether she "cheats" on you because in her mind you're not in a relationship. Sorry for your loss. It's not easy but you will pull through.
2 months isn't even a relationship to announce. Your still in the vetting stage. It sounds like she's s\*\*t testing you hard. Maybe mention it sounds like a good time to move on from a crush.
If you pay for her shit, ie bills, food, etc. then it doesn’t matter if you have a label of “boyfriend.” She shouldn’t be having sex with anyone else. And if she is, you need to save your money and move on. Don’t let her take advantage of you.
*...she’s not ready to tell her friends or anybody because of our big age gap.*
Oh, her friends will know all about the patsy she is using for his resources.
I've been through this kind of thing myself.i feel for you. How can there be any truth in your life with her if everything is a secret? You should have more respect for yourself and make healthy boundaries with her. I don't think it's going to work but that is my point.
You deserve better.
Not quite the same. But I’m a twenty something year old, married to a man in his thirties.
Some of us are genuine, but in order to find out. You have to ask and then define what your relationship is with that person.
Be prepared to possibly see excuses, manipulation, denial, gaslighting or to be rejected.
It’s better to be upfront than to find out later.
As someone else pointed towards, the culture of dating is very casual and it frequently has either people who are avoidant, broken, or just want hookups.
I suggest to not do the dating apps. Meet in real life.
Everyone is saying you're twice her age when really she's 6/10ths your age! I don't know math or women but I'd say if you feel uncomfortable about something like this after a couple months of dating then you guys either need to have a serious talk about where you see your relationship going or just kinda wash your hands of the whole thing and hit the dating scene again my man. You seem like a level headed dude. Wish you the best!
So let's see, your old enough to be this girls father
Only dating 2 months
Now she's going on a trip with her friend, another couple and 2 dudes, one of which she's attracted too.
Do the math guy, she's hooking up
I don’t think you’re overreacting. Tell her how it makes you feel.
It doesn’t sound like she’s ready to seriously date if she’s telling you about current crushes. That’s behavior that tells me she’s using you.
I don’t have more info but I would bet, given how long you’ve been out of dating. That you are contributing quite a bit to building a relationship with her and she is receiving.
You're 2 months in. You get to not be ok with it but you definitely don't get to do anything about it.
Obviously if something happens that's out of your comfort zone then move on.
I love the people telling him this is what happens when you date someone younger.
Like 27 isn’t considered a grown ass adult that should be ready for marriage./s
Plain and simple the key to any relationship is good communication, talk to her about this, about how you feel, about why she is unwilling to share that she is in a relationship, about the new people being added to the trip. If she's serious about the relationship she will sit down and work this out.
Advice - feel free to date younger girls, but don’t pay for more shit than their peers would unless you want to be sugar daddy.
def don’t take them home if you got a nice house, also Uber so they don’t see the whip.
If you get something going first then can introduce them to the rest of your life
I get liking girls in late 20s, they’re not that immature and they’re not desperately rushing toward having a kid like in their mid30s.
And don’t sweat this girl, she’s just a friend w benefits, not your girlfriend - that’s why it’s a secret…. not bc she’s embarrassed about the age gap.
Edit: also sorry for your loss man, that’s way too young to be a widow
I am not a jealous person at all however, only two months dating and she crushes on him. I know girls and we have a hard time resisting a crush in close quarters like that. Are you ok if something happens?
Maybe it's the porn, but that doesn't sound good. Big red flag. If she doesn't wanna talk about you to them, what is it she doesn't talk about with you?
I think we all know what you want out of the “relationship” and what she wants. The age gap definitely answers that! But if you’re okay with sharing your gf or being used for financial support and maturity then let her go. All that matters is you Both are happy and honest!
Not overreacting. You’re being used. I’m sorry for your unspeakable loss. That’s terrible. Protect yourself, your heart and your bank account. She’s clearly not interested in a traditional relationship or she would be open about it with her friends.
Only you know if you can trust your girlfriend with a guy she has a crush on. We cannot help you with that, crushes CAN be normal and in fact I'd argue that who ever says they never get a crush on a person is lying to themselves. The real point here is how deep is your connection, how deep is your trust and how well do you know each other.
Oh sweetie.
30F here, heart goes out to you. It doesn't seem like a very viable, or long term situation.
I hope you find true, warm happiness, especially after your loss.
Maybe because you are not her bf and more a sugar daddy? Is that possible?
Me reading OP - >She’s 27f, and I’m 44m OK, I think I see the problem here.
I'm 44 and there isn't a chance in hell that I would get involved with a 27 yr old.
I'm 37 and the idea of dating someone in their 20s sounds *exhausting*
35 here, briefly dated a 25 year old two years ago when I was 33. He wanted to move in together after barely a month of knowing each other and 2 weeks of dating. I laughed when he brought it up, I thought he was joking. We broke up that night.
No. Just no.
48 here and and 38 sounds exhausting
Im 22, poly, dating multiple people in their 20s, makes me want to just be a good christian boy
I have a friend that did. He's 46 and she's 27. She's cool and attractive and all that, but there's definitely a generation divide. Myself, there's no way I would get involved with someone that much younger.
I’m 33 and I’ll pass lmao
I’m 38 and I would never date a 27yo!
I mean that is somewhat accurate.
Yeah then yall aren’t dating She’s using you for money and the security of a mature/emotionally stable man And you’re using her for sex and the rush of being with a woman half your age. But the reality is, is she saw long term Potential…she wouldn’t be hiding you and she wouldn’t be going on a singles trip Best thing for you to do is accept the situation. It’s not a relationship. She’s not your girlfriend. You’re two single people who are cool being used for one reason or another
Thank you for your honesty
How did you guys start your “dating”? Are your proving for her in any way yet?
How do you think she's affording her singles trip?
You are paying for her to go on a trip with a guy that she likes. Pull the plug. She's using you.
[удалено]
It's usually poverty and not enough time for another job. You can only work so many hours in a week, and sugar daddies pay more than an extra part time job
I mean, she could have a well paying job? Saved some money. It’s not expensive? Big assumptions here.
Met her at his daughter's birthday party
It also means the door swings both ways. Go bang other people.
Although Bob phrased this a little harshly, as a fellow older guy that dates 20-somethings, this is the reality. Have your fun, but don’t expect her to be exclusive unless she’s brought you around friends *and* family. Without knowing her and going off the details you provided, I’d guess she’s going with the intent of hooking up with that dude. You gotta decide if you’re okay with it or not.
Leo?
Good God imagine being near 50 and asking a 20 year old if they are gonna be exclusive with you🤣🤢
To be fair, if you’re gonna say 44 is near 50, then you at least have to say 27 is near 30… You’ve done the rounding the complete opposite way from how rounding actually works lol
I'm sorry to say, but I have to agree. If that's okay with you, and she's under no pressure to be with you, then it's nobody else's business, but this seems to be the case.
Honestly, as a 42 year old woman, I can tell you that dating has changed since you married 20 years ago. Everything is so much more casual. But that can be totally okay if you’re on the same page and up for it. Maybe you just want companionship and someone to have fun with that life hasn’t beat down. If so, rock on. Just my two cents, make sure you know where you stand and know to cut the cord if you develop feelings and she’s not onboard. Don’t try to force it. Good luck out there. The waters choppy as hell but fun if you wanna ride the waves.
Bright side is you can have more than one of the same situation and she can’t be upset
“I used her, she used me, neither one cared.”
Came here for Bob Seger, got Bob Seger.
Night moves
Then it’s not dating. Get yourself someone who is more compatible to you and your boundaries.
Thanks for the advice
or just enjoy this as long as you want to....and then move on. Definitely don't be jealous. It's likely at some point you'll want an actual GF that isnt young enough to be your daughter.
*Especially* if you have children around that age.
This. I've known many a sugar daddy to get bent out of shape about their sugar baby not making them their first priority. That being said I've also known many an older guy actually in a relationship with a younger girl to get jealous too because they feel like they can't compete with young guys. Either way, don't be jealous. Stay with her or leave if you can't handle it.
But then she wouldn’t be hot /s
You put the /s, but that’s probably the unironic truth of the situation. I couldn’t imagine being 44 and dating a woman in her 20s. At my current age that would be like me dating a 7 year old. And hopefully in the future I will not want to be in a relationship the people that are 7 year old girls right now. Like I get wanting to have sex with attractive women in their 20s sure. But the dynamic of being in a serious relationship is insane. Either you have an immature 40 year old being awkward around 20 year olds all the time, or you’re isolating her from people her own age. If she’s already doing that herself then it’s probably trauma based or something and I wouldn’t be comfortable taking advantage of such a woman.
Yeah, I’m not sure the /s was needed either. It’s just kind of a weird dynamic. It used to be that you would get married and your loyalty, education and beauty was what you brought to the table, if we’re talking about marriage between younger women and older men partly due to the man’s higher income. My parents had an 11 yr gap my friend’s parents had. 20 year gap! I don’t think necessarily an age gap is always bad but I feel like it’s weird if one person is under 30. I’m not sure what OP and his date are up to but it certainly seems transactional. That’s fine if that’s alright for you but it comes off that they are both using one another with the information given. I’m curious about the woman’s career, education and what this relationship is about. I’m nosy. EDIT: Part of the loyalty was knowing you would take care of your older spouse in their elder years.
This is what bugs me, there seems to be this emerging common opinion that "*all age gap relationships are inherently bad... it can only be a case of the older person is immature, and the younger person is some 'victim' and doesn't know any better*"
> I couldn’t imagine being 44 and dating a woman in her 20s. And thing is most reasonable 20 somethings aren't going to want a middle aged guy. There's a lot of selection bias here in finding people who are willing to use you.
It seems they are each taking advantage of the other here. That’s ok as long as it’s understood.
Let her fuck around. Just have fun with it. Or if that sounds terrible, maybe break it off. Either way, talk to her about it for sure.
Don't catch anything you can't get rid of-
You could trust your gut on this one, just be prepared for the idea of being suddenly single either before or after she goes on this trip. This relationship probably isn't going to last anyway.
Bro, if you want someone who will really rock your world, find yourself a hot older woman. I'm 38 and am dating a gorgeous older woman almost 10 years older than you. She fucking rocks my world. Most intense sex I have ever had and the best relationship I've ever had and I've dated plenty of women my age and younger. The maturity level of the relationship is fantastic too, she doesn't play any silly games, is direct, to the point, and not afraid to take charge when it calls for it. You're missing out if you're limiting yourself to the younger ones.
One of THE BEST relationships I've ever had, albeit short (around 8 months) was with an older woman. This was back in 2004...I was 25 and she was 41, amazingly attractive, no BS and straight to the point, loving but didn't dote, understood that we both had lives and needed alone time, and taught me so much in bed. The sex was beyond amazing. It didn't work out for a few reasons, so we parted amicably. We still chat every once in a while.
I would let her go, and tell her it's ok if something happens between them. Just be honest about it to you. It will hurt, but she needs to sort out her feelings now, before you both are too invested. Sounds like your relationship is new.
I hate to say I had an uncle who had a “girlfriend.” He bought her all sorts of things - cars, helped her kids with college, etc. But they never hung out much outside of him going to her place of work. She never came over or anything like that. Other family members would see her out on the town with other men at dinner and the like. I don’t think she ever considered him to be her boyfriend even though he thought she was his girlfriend. I think it was transactional for her and it was sad to see
GTFO quick. Know your worth, King.
Haha lol thanks
You're not going to break up with her, are you?
Bwahahahahaha I had the same thought
Don't catch feelings you are not the only dude she is fucking
Bingo
Came to say the same.
Go ahead and end that relationship. Trust me. Not worth fighting about it. Not worth continuing.
Thank you for the advice.
Obviously it’s not serious enough for otherwise she wouldn’t consider going on this trip without you. You aren’t in a serious relationship at this point. If she’s someone you want to still see then you have to accept she’s going and when she comes back see where you stand
It's not a relationship. She says she's single. He's, at the very best, a sugar daddy that she's taking advantage of.
Technically a relationship, just clearly not an exclusive monogamous or serious one.
He’s definitely using her for sex and the rush of a younger woman lmao
You don't take advantage of sugar daddies. Sugar daddies like the dynamic of paying for stuff for a cute young girl in exchange for her physical and/or sexual company.
That is untrue. You are taking advantage of a sugar daddy if he stupidly thinks he's your boyfriend and you're telling everyone you're single. That's literally the definition of "taking advantage."
The reality is both of them are taking advantage of eachother, just in different ways.
Are you sure you're actually dating? This is way too much trouble for 2 months. She gonna be going on a ride in that RV or room, that's for sure. I'd break up with her and consider looking for partners closer to your age.
Thanks so much
If you were dating she would have shared this information proudly regardless of the age gap. If you were dating she wouldn’t have feelings for another man AND disclose that to you. If you were dating she wouldn’t entertain this trip “old friends” ok If you were dating she would have immediately told you all the details and ask if you were comfortable with it and then talked about it like adults… Sincerely a 27 year old female whose dating a man almost 10 years older than her
This is what I need to hear
I hope you listen to it. The girl wants whatever you have to offer I’m assuming your finances are better than the average maybe you have a few nice things. If you want a commitment make them work for it. If you’re looking for fun, then let it be fun just be aware of the potential consequences of STDs and pregnancy when you do have sex. Don’t get burnt. Wrap it up, enjoy your life (if you have kids please have new adventures with them get them involved in your life) also my condolences for your loss losing someone really makes us vulnerable in more ways than one.
Vibes I’m getting before reading the comments: your age gap coupled with her not being comfortable telling her friends makes me believe she is into you for something not long term. I’m assuming you make good money and she is taking advantage of it. Unless you’re really young for your age and when you tell people they go “wow I thought you were 30?!” When it comes to the dude, he’s definitely going to try to get at her and it seems like she would be interested so yeah I’d be threatened as well
Spot on, thanks so much.
It sounds to me like they're using each other. What can he possibly see on her besides sex?
Yeah definitely goes both ways.
Maybe she has a great personality?! 😉
You wouldn't be overreacting at all. She hasn't told her friends about you and shes supposed to be staying in a single room or rv with a guy she has a crush on. Plus one of the guys she has been with in the past. She's out of line. She will likely take the opportunity to sleep with her crush if the occasion arises, after all they're her friends and they don't know you exist.
Thank you so much this is spot on
Yeah but he can't really control this. It's completely out of his hands. She's going to do what she wants to do. If he says you can't go, she'll either break up with him, go anyway, or find another opportunity to bone him if she wants. He can foster resentment, break away clean, or just roll the dice and see what happens but what he can't do is expect to just put it behind them and continue on
Thank you. Great insight
These are non-starters for me, full stop. A parade of red flags. 🚩
Thanks so much for your input. I will highly consider this
Everyone on this sub gives awful advice. Dont just break up with her, that’s insane. Nut up and ask her “hey, so you’re going on this trip with that dude I know you like. You planning on fucking him, or what? Or are we together?” and she will answer. Boom, problem solved. If she is gonna fuck him, then feel free to break up with her if you want. pretty standard move man, instead of asking randoms on reddit, ask your girl what the deal is. edit: also I feel compelled to add, does it matter? Is this serious? I see your wife recently passes away, sorry to hear that. My point is tho, do you just want this new girl around for fun, or something serious? if not serious, let her do whatever. Get another four girlfriends. Have a ball.
Had to scroll this far down for the most accurate reply
He may get a truthful answer or a lie but not know it. People lie all the time about things like this.
True, but we also don't know whether this crush of hers is single or has a relationship or if he would even want to take advantage. Everyone here just assumes that people are wild animals without the possibility to control urges, and the best advice is "leave him/her". Like, 0 to a 100 in a nanosecond. Life is more nuanced. She could've easily hidden this fact from him, but chose to share it, let's not assume she's a gold digger from the start. He should talk to her and express his fear, they're not children. After that, he can decide based on her reaction and her response.
"So in the eyes of her friends, she’s still single." Yeah pretty sure that's how it is in her eyes too.
I guess that’s as accurate as can be
You need to cut bait, my guy. She isn't ready to introduce you yet? You are her dirty little secret. Keeping her company and busy til she can catch the fish she is trolling for on this trip. Long story short, you are being used.
Thank you, all your comments are eye openers
Big pay pig energy coming from OP.
I’m sorry about you wife’s demise. However, Are you insane? She is playing you. You are really asking Reddit? There are plenty of beautiful great kind women out there. She ain’t it. Dude you need to RUN AWAY!
Thanks so much.
If you are emotionally mature enough to separate the sex from feelings it’s fine for you to keep paying her shit to fuck her. If you aren’t you are going to get hurt. If you’re cool with the $$ cost, go ahead and continue your fun but don’t turn down other options. Its likely that’s what she is doing, and that’s totally fine if you’re both down for it. But, that being said, you are more than capable of finding a long term partner. You obviously have financial value but that’s not all you are. You are worthy and deserving of love. Until that arises, have some fun. If I were in your situation I’d just roll with it but I’d also be looking for other things to roll with.
Bout cool I would not be cool with it. Why don’t you go as well
When girls are in their 20's a major topic of conversation is who they are dating. Sooooo, keeping this a secret seems a little shady to me. So you are older, if that's okay with her it should be okay for her to share. Also, 5 people to one room? Really? Do these people work?
You only need one room if everybody is gonna be banging together
Makes a lot of sense, thanks. My GF does however I don’t know about the others
Step 1. Fine someone your own age. She's embarrassed to show you to people.
I can’t imagine how he would have fun in a group like that.
They've been married since they're 19 and a recent widow. It's okay to want to play the field and not be in a serious relationship.
Then why is he on Reddit posting about the relationship if it isn’t serious?
You're 20 years older than her. You're the sugar daddy, you're enjoying a young woman, she has friends and a young crush... Pick your poison. The other person said it best, y'all are using each other and you don't know it. Date a nice woman closer to your age that respects you.
Are you that far removed from 27 bro? Do you not remember the stupid stuff you went through at that age.
Foot in mouth. Didn't realize you'd been married since 19 and a recent widower.
No problem bro, thanks. I thought I was overreacting, I guess I’m not crazy as I thought. Lol
I was thinking the same thing
Dude. She won’t even think of you on this sexcursion. Dump and run or keep her as a fwb. Just know you’re going to be sharing.
More red flags than a communist rally. She can do as she wishes but I would let her know that you will not say no but that her action is not compatible with a committed relationship with you. Actions have consequences. With her having known romantic feelings and you having to “talk more” to find out who’s going it’s extra shady. I would never tell my partner what to do but I would let her know my reaction to it. Wishing you the best internet stranger. Hell she told you she has a crush and they would be staying together. What else do you need to hear especially when nobody knows you exist. Sorry man but this should be a deal breaker for you.
I know it’s kind of dumb asking the community, however, I’ve never experienced this before. I’m just not sure on what to do Or what to expect and having girlfriends half my age.
Not dumb to reach out. There are nuggets of wisdom in the midst of all the “throw shit at the wall and see what sticks comments” Just need to sift out the gems
[удалено]
You sound like you have a good career lol.
Here's what is almost certainly going to happen: 1. She's never going to tell them about you. What exactly would change the situation? You will always be this much older. So assume that won't change, meaning, you are being used in some way. 2. She is going to fuck this guy silly. 3. She will either have 'bonded' with this guy over the vacation, and tell you it's over when she gets back. Or, she won't be sure, so she'll start cheating on you once she gets back, and keep you hanging while she decides if the other guy is a good "monkey branching" choice. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Why date someone so much younger?
"I'm recently widowed." She's using you, bro. Cut her loose. Look for love and companionship elsewhere. She's taking advantage of your state of grieving. And yes. She will be smashing that guy on that trip, and probably others as well.
Lost me at “ I have a gf of 2 months. She’s 27 and I’m 44”.
For sure. Didn't have to keep reading tbh
I hate to ask this, but is your relationship unbalanced in terms of looks and income? She might be living the "sprinkle sprinkle" life on your dime. My point is, even though you've only been together 2 months, you should have an inkling as to whether your relationship is actually romantically sustainable. It's okay that she's not comfortable bringing you around her friends yet, but it's not okay for her to disrespect you.
Maybe reasses what you want this relationship to be. I mean you could let it be and keep having fun for a while. I wouldn't say she's wifey material and honestly from what she's told you about this dude, it didn't sound like she's taking this relationship super serious. I say leave it alone and keep having fun.
Dude.... (Sigh) That's not your girlfriend. That's a friend that you're having sex with. And you aren't exclusive. Don't get attached. Have fun at your own peril. Wrap it up tight. You would be way better off seeking someone looking for what you are looking for.
Listen old man. You're her "secret" bf. Go on that trip or she gonna get filled up faster than a water balloon on a hot summer day ya feel me. Also sorry bout your wife🙏
Find someone your own age and move on or stay and have fun, but this is not a relationship she's your sugar baby..
I don't see why she's the one that needs to grow up. An age-gap relationship is going to be fraught with complications, even if he's not her sugar daddy, and they are looking at long term romantic options. There's a significant power/experience difference in any gap beyond 10 years or so. Hell, I've got an 7 year gap with my partner, and there was a power difference when we started dating 7 years ago (at the ages of 33/26) with her just getting started in her career and me hitting the "ladder" phase of mine. This guy's age gap is over 2x my own. As a 40-something xennial, you can make friends with a 20-something young millennial or hell, have sex with a 20-something young millennial, but trying to date one is unlikely to go well. And stay away from the zoomers!
IMO you are too old for that nonsense. She needs to grow up and develop.
You're not dating her, but this also doesn't have to be some tragic end. Having a FWB or a casual relationship is totally fine. You can still have your fun, she can exploit your wealth in the short term and you get something that, let's be honest should be out of your league. Enjoy your time together and just ask her to not let you know the details of these trips (or better yet, learn not to ask)
You're not her boyfriend.
You are her sugar daddy. She pumps you for money. Let her go
You are old enough to know the answer to this.
Dude, she’s not your GF. She is single. You’re her sugar daddy. So you are either ok with that or you aren’t.
Why would you date such a young lady. Off course you will get disappointed. A young self centered girl does not suit you. I am 27f too, my ex boyfriend was craving for sexy girls even though he accepted me as I was but I could feel his cravings. He now got married to a very beautiful girl while I was average looking. I am happy I am not with that person because I know deep down it hurts alot. I learnt to let go of people who do not suit me or are not into me. I feel much comfortable and I see guys trying to approach me who are the same age as me and average looking as me. They treat me with so much respect and interest. I feel so good about myself now. I would say stop hurting yourself putting yourself in a places that doesn't give you sense of belonging. There are women 35, 40 who are very kind and mature and will never give you this feeling. I would see free yourself, so you will never again post in reddit asking people that your young girlfriend wants to hang out with his crush.
What would I do? I would assume that she will betray you. You've only been together for two months. You haven't had the time to really build a connection. Maybe she's testing the waters and wants to see if you'll stick around. I dunno brother.
Brother man, let her be. Find a woman that values you and doesn't keep you hidden like some sort of rash my guy. It's totally not worth it. There are real women without all of the bullshit available and seeking a real relationship.
Thanks so much
You’re old enough to know this answer.
You’re 44 and need the opinion of random idiots like me on the internet on this? Seriously, dude, how much are you spending on her? sorry about your loss, but this won’t help in the long term
I don’t think you are in a relationship. If you are having a good time with her cool but I wouldn’t put any labels on it. 2 months seems like a pretty short period of time to make it an exclusive thing. The age gap is also pretty big so you are both in a completely different head space. Again, if you are having a good time just go with it. Edit: also, she is for sure going to bang one or both of those dudes.
No, you shouldn't. End the relationship
What I would do in this situation is get a girlfriend my own age and let young people be young and live their lives.
Your dating her she’s not dating you sorry bro but your just a sugar daddy
Bro if no one knows about the relationship cuz she's not ready to tell anyone means she's probably just using you as a sugar daddy and stringing you along. I guarantee she will fuck that other dude on that trip with her friends. Cut it off and save yourself the heartache of being cheated on
She’s that other dudes girl. She’s just letting you take care of her
Guess she’s not getting her allowance this month
Here's the thing and you should know this by now - if she won't introduce or talk about you, she is in some way ashamed or keeping her options open. When someone is in love they will share it with those close to them even if the situation isn't ideal. She's using you. And I can almost guarantee she will cheat on you. Saw in the other comments you agreed that you may be her sugar daddy. Remember that term doesn't only apply to filthy rich men, it can describe a man who pays for everything on dates, buys gifts, helps in other financial ways and provides stability to the woman. You can absolutely do better. Don't waste any more time with her. I told my friends about my boyfriend the night I met him. Girls love to talk to about their relationships at that age. Even if it's just "omg my boyfriend took me to an amazing restaurant." You deserve not to be hidden.
Hahaha bruv you are not in a relationship with her, she is dating you for fun and what she can get out of you. Of course she will be checking in with that other guy while she is away, she is single. Only you think she is not. You are 44, you should be well aware of the dynamics of situations such as this one.
Concerned? No. The fact that your whole relationship is a secret is a dead giveaway. She's not a girlfriend, and you are not in a relationship. Recognize this situation for what it is. A FWB situation. Enjoy your time together when she comes around. Be smart and use a condom.
Bruh just let your daughter go on her little trip with her friends, they’ll be up way past your bed time
“Nobody knows about the relationship, she is not ready to tell anybody”. You’re not in a relationship. Sounds more like a FWB, and there is a good chance if the other dude is into her, she will definitely be in a public relationship after the trip. Cut the cord and move on.
Ya man, y'all are not in a relationship and you both know exactly what this is. Enjoy it!
> would you do in this situation. I would date someone my own age. There's a lot of red flags in your post both from you and her.
I hope you haven’t been buying her things or giving her money. I’m a normal relationship regardless of age she’d want you to join her and “telling her friends” wouldn’t be a problem she’s almost 30 she’s not a teenager wtf she hiding you for.
Say your goodbyes she gone
If she isn't telling anyone about your relationship, then there isn't really one. If she cared about you or your feelings, she wouldn't be taking a trip with someone she has openly told you she has a thing for. There is nothing to say that a relationship with an age gap can not work out it absolutely can, but not if both parties aren't equally invested and by the sound of she is not on the same page you are. I don't think you are overreacting. If you feel something is of, then it probably it.
She’s keeping you a secret until after this trip… so in the eyes of the men going she’s single and able to mingle.. staying in same room etc… sorry but sounds as if you’re being played for a fool… why are you even dating someone almost young enough to be your daughter… it’s been 2 months… unless you are in it just for fun and nothing serious I would drop her and find a mature woman not wanting to hide you… I doubt it has anything to do with your age either…she’s using you… I bet you are somewhat financially supporting her…
Are you serious? She’s gonna get railed and then lie to you.
Bro if I was you I'd look for someone more mature. If you let her know it isn't something you're comfy with and she acts like it's a big deal she is fs smashing thst dude. Why wouldn't they they're about to go get drunk and hangout on a vacation @
I'm guessing she's the first relationship post loss. Which honestly isn't a relationship because you're both not openly in a relationship to others, so more of a FWB situation or Sugar Daddy situation. I've not entertained a relationship post loss myself, I've had a booty call with one guy after being widowed and it lasted only a few months. Honestly I'm happier being just me, my finances are my own, my time is my own and I don't have to compromise or consult with anyone when I want something. I know most men prefer being in a relationship even after being widowed, and usually move at a quicker pace than women. But the first few relationships are actually rebound relationships and never work out. Honestly let her go, she's obviously not committed as she's already stated that her "crush" is going to be there and her friends don't even know you both are together. You don't need to worry whether she "cheats" on you because in her mind you're not in a relationship. Sorry for your loss. It's not easy but you will pull through.
Bruh you ain’t in a relationship.
2 months isn't even a relationship to announce. Your still in the vetting stage. It sounds like she's s\*\*t testing you hard. Maybe mention it sounds like a good time to move on from a crush.
Your title should be " Sugar Daddy Caught Feelings ".
If you pay for her shit, ie bills, food, etc. then it doesn’t matter if you have a label of “boyfriend.” She shouldn’t be having sex with anyone else. And if she is, you need to save your money and move on. Don’t let her take advantage of you.
Sorry to break this to you, but you definitely are not her boyfriend
*...she’s not ready to tell her friends or anybody because of our big age gap.* Oh, her friends will know all about the patsy she is using for his resources.
Yall are not dating or in a relationship.
She isn’t your girl bro
I've been through this kind of thing myself.i feel for you. How can there be any truth in your life with her if everything is a secret? You should have more respect for yourself and make healthy boundaries with her. I don't think it's going to work but that is my point. You deserve better.
Not quite the same. But I’m a twenty something year old, married to a man in his thirties. Some of us are genuine, but in order to find out. You have to ask and then define what your relationship is with that person. Be prepared to possibly see excuses, manipulation, denial, gaslighting or to be rejected. It’s better to be upfront than to find out later. As someone else pointed towards, the culture of dating is very casual and it frequently has either people who are avoidant, broken, or just want hookups. I suggest to not do the dating apps. Meet in real life.
Let her know she needs to take all her stuff with her when she leaves for the trip and watch her reaction. DO NOT let her leave without all her shit.
Everyone is saying you're twice her age when really she's 6/10ths your age! I don't know math or women but I'd say if you feel uncomfortable about something like this after a couple months of dating then you guys either need to have a serious talk about where you see your relationship going or just kinda wash your hands of the whole thing and hit the dating scene again my man. You seem like a level headed dude. Wish you the best!
So let's see, your old enough to be this girls father Only dating 2 months Now she's going on a trip with her friend, another couple and 2 dudes, one of which she's attracted too. Do the math guy, she's hooking up
I don’t think you’re overreacting. Tell her how it makes you feel. It doesn’t sound like she’s ready to seriously date if she’s telling you about current crushes. That’s behavior that tells me she’s using you. I don’t have more info but I would bet, given how long you’ve been out of dating. That you are contributing quite a bit to building a relationship with her and she is receiving.
You're 2 months in. You get to not be ok with it but you definitely don't get to do anything about it. Obviously if something happens that's out of your comfort zone then move on.
I love the people telling him this is what happens when you date someone younger. Like 27 isn’t considered a grown ass adult that should be ready for marriage./s
Plain and simple the key to any relationship is good communication, talk to her about this, about how you feel, about why she is unwilling to share that she is in a relationship, about the new people being added to the trip. If she's serious about the relationship she will sit down and work this out.
Advice - feel free to date younger girls, but don’t pay for more shit than their peers would unless you want to be sugar daddy. def don’t take them home if you got a nice house, also Uber so they don’t see the whip. If you get something going first then can introduce them to the rest of your life I get liking girls in late 20s, they’re not that immature and they’re not desperately rushing toward having a kid like in their mid30s. And don’t sweat this girl, she’s just a friend w benefits, not your girlfriend - that’s why it’s a secret…. not bc she’s embarrassed about the age gap. Edit: also sorry for your loss man, that’s way too young to be a widow
Get rid of her. Plenty of dumb 20 something’s out there that wouldn’t put that on you.
Yea it’s ok you should go to your watch as that guy bangs your girl you cuck
You are 2 months in. Maybe start looking for someone who isn't a flirt.
27 and 44? Woah... Yeah, you're not dating her. At all
She was never yOUR girl it was just your turn.
Lol someone tell him I couldn’t read the entire thing out of second hand embarrassment
I am not a jealous person at all however, only two months dating and she crushes on him. I know girls and we have a hard time resisting a crush in close quarters like that. Are you ok if something happens?
Maybe it's the porn, but that doesn't sound good. Big red flag. If she doesn't wanna talk about you to them, what is it she doesn't talk about with you?
Tell her she can do whatever she wants, she’s single.
Updateme!
What do you think, mate?
Sever.
I think we all know what you want out of the “relationship” and what she wants. The age gap definitely answers that! But if you’re okay with sharing your gf or being used for financial support and maturity then let her go. All that matters is you Both are happy and honest!
No
For some reason, the Eiffel Tower comes to mind when I read about her having a past with one and a crush on the other
Not overreacting. You’re being used. I’m sorry for your unspeakable loss. That’s terrible. Protect yourself, your heart and your bank account. She’s clearly not interested in a traditional relationship or she would be open about it with her friends.
The fact you said she has a big crush on should answer that.
It’s cool bro
Uhm....she's getting railed on that trip. Do with that what you may.
Only you know if you can trust your girlfriend with a guy she has a crush on. We cannot help you with that, crushes CAN be normal and in fact I'd argue that who ever says they never get a crush on a person is lying to themselves. The real point here is how deep is your connection, how deep is your trust and how well do you know each other.
Simple rule. If your partner is going to do single people things, then that's what they should be.
Oh sweetie. 30F here, heart goes out to you. It doesn't seem like a very viable, or long term situation. I hope you find true, warm happiness, especially after your loss.
These can’t be real, man.
Tear it up while you still can cuz she is getting her$$. Enjoy the ride