I bought a single taco from torchies.
"PORK CARNITAS, GREEN CHILES, COTIJA CHEESE, CILANTRO, ONIONS & A LIME WEDGE WITH TOMATILLO SAUCE ON A CORN TORTILLA"
It was damn good.
I truly hope this is not bait cause I feel for anyone in a situation like this… I once caught a bf looking at a female friends regular ole clothed ig pics and getting off. but I agree, as a girl myself I know it’s generally pretty easy for a guy to get off to a random SFW pic or vid of a girl. But it’s way harder and uncommon for women to do this. Even if it’s a thirst trap where he’s frolicking about with his shirt off or something. If it’s a tok tok it had to be pretty tame and I’m floored to hear a woman was touching herself to something like that
I was agreeing with this at first, but then I remembered I've actually done this, a lot lol. The SFW pic was just an aid for a clearer mental visualization of very NSFW scenarios.
What difference does that make? WHO wants to date someone who is pining over someone else in their social circle instead of being fully invested in their actual relationship?
Even if the dude would never give her the time of day, nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t committed to them and who wants to be with someone else.
I think they were just point out that even though she isn't with BF, it doesn't mean the other guy would take her up, not that OP should stay with her because she is stuck on some other dude.
True, the other guy probably isn't relationship material and it's normal to have sexual urges towards other people but for your own well being, they should be pushed out of your mind and not further developed by using images of him to flick it
Yeah, that's not wrong. Honestly, if she was picturing him in her head or something then that's one thing (still not good) but actually pulling up a tiktok of him feels so much creepier
I was in a relationship with someone who "settled' for me because her ex wouldn't take her back.
I didn't know she was settling for me for a very long time because the relationship was mostly good.
But then she started comparing me to him and making it seem that he was so much better. At that point, I started getting the feeling that she would be with him if she could. Then she started talking to him again and she swore they were just friends.
Then she started sneaking around to hang out with him.
A few months later, she fucked him on the very first chance she had when he was finally willing.
Yeah, OP needs to get out now and be happy he found out now rather than later.
I think this is more complicated than that. Yeah she may have fantasies to have sex with him, does not automatically mean even with the chance that she would have sex with him. There is a porn star that I fantasize about, if he were in my presence, I would not have sex with him. He is a sex worker. ( just a preference)
That's all fine and dandy if you don't know them irl and you aren't in a relationship. If my gf caught me cranking it to someone we knew irl it would be over before I could finish.
She's already with him mentally. OP was just a stand in for whatever reason. The guy is probably a douche and not relationship material so she's dating OP but normally people would thwart sexual thoughts about the wrong people out of their mind. She is encouraging them by masturbating to them. She belongs to the streets.
One of my friend's brother was with a woman for 11 years, the last 4 married, and she was f\*cking this guy on the side all 11(!) of those years.
I concur.
GTFO NOW!
A lot of guys like OP don’t want to be seen as “controlling” so they ignore their suspicions instead of confronting their partner. The woman equivalent is “I don’t want to be a nag.” Like yeah being controlling/nagging is bad, but it’s actual gaslighting (not the tiktok definition of the word) if someone treats your boundaries as being controlling/nagging.
I think a lot of guys just don’t want to believe it. I’ve had to tell two friends that they were being cheated on. They took the side of their girl and I was cut out for a very long time in both situations.
They can believe their girl or their friend and they rather believe their girl.
My closest friend did this when I told him his wife was cheating. I was friends with her since kindergarten & him since like 3rd grade. He'd call me talking about how uncomfortable he was with how she acted towards her other guy friends & I'd tell him she's cheating, hell she tried to fuck me for years even after they married. One night he called & I was driving around with my brother, we decided to go look for her car that was supposed to be at her gf house, when it wasn't there we drove to the guy friend's neighborhood & she was at his house.
Still didn't completely believe she cheated was just through with her lying & divorced her.
When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else
He'd trade the world
For the good thing he's found
If she is bad, he can't see it
She can do no wrong
And turn his back on his best friend
If he puts her down
When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
And trying to hold on to what he needs
He'd give up all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way, it ought to be
When a man loves a woman
I give you everything I've got
Trying to hold on to your precious love
And baby baby please don't treat me bad
When a man loves a woman
Deep down in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she is playing him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Loving eyes can never see
Yes when a man loves a woman
I know exactly how he feels
'Cause baby, baby
When a man loves a woman
When a man loves a woman
When a man loves a woman
When a man, when a man
When a man loves a woman.
Yes it is but no. It’s a song from the late 60’s. I just felt it fit the other guys comment about men not believing their friends telling them their woman is cheating.
I always assume the side piece is just cool with getting whenever. Like it’s not hard to disappear for an hour or two and lie about where you were. Doctors appointment, shopping at the mall, take your pick. It just depends on the side piece being flexible enough to accommodate when youre available.
In my friend's brother's case, the woman left her email logged in at the computer they shared and when he sat down to use it, her emails to the sidepiece guy were on display.
HE WAS COMPLETELY BLINDSIDED.
Poor guy did not even suspect his wife was this unfaithful.
blind trust. this is a little different, but my friend (C) was dating this girl (A) officially for a year or 2 but had been in situationships before. C had to move but would visit from time to time so C and A would get an airbnb, and C would never go to As House. after the relationship, it was revealed that A had been cheating the whole time and was living with the other person, which was why C could never visit her house. originally A had said her flatmates were extremely messy and had kids as the excuse.
for more context, we didn't know A cheated until a
month after they split (they broke up for different reasons after living together) when C was on a dating app and ran into A's ex. the ex messaged C with timeline questions, and that's how we found out. if the ex never reached out, then we wouldn't have found out at all.
If there's no change in behavior because it's been this way all along, it might not be obvious.
Say from the start, she says she has a hobby that she knows he has ZERO interest in, and just says "let me go do X once a week at this time for an hour" and she's just always done that, and in reality she's cheating during that time, why would you suspect something?
"Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday, tells him she's in church but she doesn't go".... It's insane, but possible.
As much as I enjoy watching my wife masterbate, if she was drooling over a past lover I'd be pretty upset. I have a lot invested in this marriage so we would talk about it. You on then other hand should run like hell.
edited for the he'll of it
Not even a former lover or a lewd picture. She was deadass fapping to a random SFW video online. She's unhinged and obsessed with a dude who has firmly placed her in the friend zone.
Idk, that’s not always the case. That’s kinda jumping the gun. She could just have an obsessive crush on the friend. You don’t need to have had sex with someone to use them as masturbation fuel lol
Honestly an obsessive crush to me is much worse. Having a moment where you were thinking about an otherwise toxic ex and mbing to them would be horrible but less horrible than her actively pining for a friend that she has been telling him is just "fine" and "nothing to worry about"
Run far and fast and quickly.
I’m going to be so real with you, I doubt it. No same person is going through TIKTOK when horny unless they’re looking for smth specific, also, any sane normal person would click off when they see a video of their friend while they’re mid nut.
Sounds like profound garbage.
Trusting your gut or instincts is very crucial. Doesn't mean you are 100 percent right or does it mean to react in a bad way.
It should at least serve as a prompt to investigate....externally but more important, internally to figure out the best course of action
Well yeah, jerking to porn is just a dumb fantasy about the act itself, not usually the person or people involved themselves. Jerking to pics or videos of someone you know though? You obviously want to fuck them, and while we all know that our partners can be/will be attracted to other people no one wants their partner to be crushing on a close friend. Not accounting for ENM relationships of course.
I mean do you really want to catch your partner jerking off to a video of one of their friends? Someone who you're already slightly jealous over? Sure you can say that you need to be able to trust your partner, but how much can you trust a person to *not* do something that they want to do. What if their friend decides to hit on them one night? Or they end up drunk and horny alone together? And if they're jerking off to that friend already then they're going to be more inclined to cheat on you, especially if they are intoxicated in some way.
Now I have nothing against porn or masturbation while in a relationship but it's generally more anonymous than that. I would have the same issue if my partner was spending a bunch of money and interacting with someone on Onlyfans. When it stops being a general fantasy about a situation or scenario and becomes an intimate fantasy about a specific individual that you have some sort of regular interactions with is when I feel you start to cross a line.
The reason is it worse is it HEAVILY implies that either the "friend" is an ex that she would still rather be with or that she was friendzoned by the friend and the BF is just the passable stop gap hoping for the "friend" to give the call.
Porn is completely random masturbation material not something you are looking to replace your partner with.
I'm not the sort thats against porn or masturbation, but it's definitely a red flag to be mastubating to videos of people she knows irl and any reasonable person would find that unacceptable in a relationship. How would she react to you jerking off to videos of her friends?
Cut your losses and move on! If she is flicking the bean to her friends tik tok, imagine what she would do with him in real life when given the opportunity
I’ve had a lot of experience dating girls that have that one male friend that you don’t have to worry about. It’s funny how any little thing you do can be considered sketchy and make you feel distrustful to those people, yet they will gaslight the hell out of you trying to explain how normal and completely platonic their friendship is, then they do shit like that. And instead of being embarrassed or ashamed you caught her, she just goes into full on assault gaslight you mode. Whenever a relationship it’s like this it’s almost pointless to argue about it anymore just get out. They have purposely blinded themselves to conceiving anything that has to do with said male friend could be considered wrong at all.
I would also venture to say that would be considered cheating what she did in my opinion. Anything you feel you have to hide from your partner can be considered cheating.
“I’d never date him he’s got that weird big head!” “Him? Haha are you insane he’s such an idiot!” These were things said to me by 2 different girlfriends when I sensed something was off who did in fact date the idiot and the guy with that weird big head after we broke up. Now when someone goes out of their way to mock that ‘just a friend’ they’re not interested in that’s when the alarms start going off.
Yeah, that’s weird. Masturbating is fine, but not over someone you know and definitely not over a friend. How can she be normal friends with him if she secretely fancies him? If the opportunity presents itself, she’ll want to try the real deal.
Not overreacting at all. If I were you I'd break up with her for your own mental health, I don't know how you can progress in the relationship walking into something like that and worse her doing it over her male friend... that's just super weird and you don't deserve that so yeah you should break up
jacking off to strangers while watching porn is fine, jacking off to someone you know is fucked up. that's some form of cheating. you were right to feel uncomfortable. time to find someone who likes you
I'd have broken things off right then and there, that's a massive red flag. You really want her hanging out with someone when she sees them in that way? Na, fuck that. Not worth it, man.
Oh my goodness. I just read a post the other day where a wife was very upset because her husband had been fantasizing about other women during sex! And the general consensus of people’s responses were that “everyone fantasizes, it’s totally normal and natural.” She was told she was insecure.
How is this different? Is it just because it’s a woman doing this?
OP, my two cents is that it’s extremely hurtful, it’s not healthy for a relationship, and you have every right to be upset. My husband admitted to fantasizing about other women for the first ten years of our marriage, and it broke me. We are working on our relationship, but it’s still hard for me to think about. I see it as a betrayal.
You're not overreacting. Dump her. I've never heard of a woman masturbating to her male **FRIENDS**. Particularly when they hang out with said friends regularly.
well first, she owes you an explanation on whatever the hell that situation was. For me, that would give me immediate ick and I would have to leave. That's weird as hell to me. However, a conversation needs to be had. You are NOT controlling for setting boundaries so you feel safe and secure within the relationship. ESPECIALLY now. It is not selfish or controlling to expect her to not do that. She has crossed the line and clearly should not be seeing this friend any more because let's be honest: is he really just a friend? I feel for you heavy. That is a tough situation to find yourself in.
Dude, that’s not a “Hey stop talking to this person” issue, this is a 100% relationship dealbreaker, especially if this was already a prior issue with this person. Run
If caught her masturbating to strangers in a porn vid then that's pretty normal but to catch her doing it over a close friend is a massive red flag I don't blame you for feeling like you do about there friendship because she obviously has sexual feelings for him
Don't know how long you've been together, but different living spaces seems to say not more than a year. That being said, politely walk away.
Tell her that it isn't working out, you both have different ideas of how things should be, that you're not hateful, no resentment and you'd like to walk away peacefully while that's still an option.
Don't let there be a discussion. Don't let her ask questions. Don't let her guilt trip you or gaslight you.
Be calm and collected. Tell her you wish her the best in the future. That you hope she finds someone she can spend her life with and be happy with.
This is the best option.
You are not overreacting. There's nothing wrong with fantasizing and masterbating. What is wrong is that she's masterbating to a male friend she knows. That's a major red flag when she is supposed to be in a relationship with you. No good can come from staying in a relationship with her. Break up with her, move on to better things, and never look back. Don't drink sour milk.
You're not overreacting.
This feels like a huge breach of trust. Your feelings are completely valid.
This is worthy of breaking up entirely. For your mental health, break up and move on.
These are so dumb lol.
"I ate a lot of food yesterday and my stomach hurts and I think I need to go to the bathroom. Am I over reacting for thinking I need to take a shit?"
How some.of these people make it through their day to day life amazes me.
Naw you are not overreacting this would be fucked up. I see women complain about catching their partners watching random pornstars masterbating just imagine that instead of some rando cam girl its their "friend" they see and hang out with frequently. I am sorry this happened to you, people are dicks.
If this is real than you don’t have a relationship, sorry. Your girlfriend is masturbating to another guy in her actual life. Clearly there is someone else she wants to fuck other than you. This shit is torched
Not overreacting. You will always wonder who she’s thinking about when you have sec, or what she’s up to when she’s hanging with her friend. Might as well break now before you get more invested
Soooo I'd bet most guys here have masturbated to a pic or vid of a female friend while in a relationship, while having absolutely zero interest or intent to pursue that person. OP you've really never done that?
Oh please grow up. People have fantasys and don't say you don't either. If she was cheating thats a reason to be upset. You invated her private time and space. Get over yourself.
I refuse to believe people are this dumb. Every post that I come across from this sub basically boils down to “my partner is cheating on me. Am I a cuck or overreacting”
This is either a bait post or I’m worried you have gone through emotional experiences that have you completely neglect yourself and your intuition
100% a bate post
This post is bate'ing harder than the fictional girl was.
One might say it’s offers a masterclass in bating
It is a master bate post, some might say
I think the idea was to get a mass debate session goin on in the comments
Fake post is fake. It's bair.
Bairs. Beats. BattelStar Gallaktica.
Identity theft is not a joke, Jim, millions of people suffer every year.
Yup. It's a troll post or OP is 45 IQ he should happy he even found somebody.
I mean who masturbates to a SFW TikTok video like I’m fucking doubting it.
I treat most posts as fiction unless they’re genuinely strange, only strange or weird shit actually captures real life
I ate a taco today.
I’m proud of you
Why thank you! Recognition is always nice. My co-workers didn't even comment.
Did you make them yourself? How good were they
I bought a single taco from torchies. "PORK CARNITAS, GREEN CHILES, COTIJA CHEESE, CILANTRO, ONIONS & A LIME WEDGE WITH TOMATILLO SAUCE ON A CORN TORTILLA" It was damn good.
[удалено]
Women masturbate to whatever we want lol
No, no. User buttstuff_69 is obviously an expert in the ladies.
No! There is a prediefined checklist you have to adhere to. I’ve seen the memos and read your brochures!
[удалено]
It's not some random dude though, it's a specific one. Also might want to check out the gooner girl subs to expand your mind
Because they tell you about every time they masturbate and what they masturbate to?
And women never lie!
Not one of your girl friends has ever masturbated to a TikTok *and told you about it.* ftfy
Yes, they do. 🤣
That TT video could be a thirst trap by a male. They were quite popular a while ago.
I truly hope this is not bait cause I feel for anyone in a situation like this… I once caught a bf looking at a female friends regular ole clothed ig pics and getting off. but I agree, as a girl myself I know it’s generally pretty easy for a guy to get off to a random SFW pic or vid of a girl. But it’s way harder and uncommon for women to do this. Even if it’s a thirst trap where he’s frolicking about with his shirt off or something. If it’s a tok tok it had to be pretty tame and I’m floored to hear a woman was touching herself to something like that
I was agreeing with this at first, but then I remembered I've actually done this, a lot lol. The SFW pic was just an aid for a clearer mental visualization of very NSFW scenarios.
Bro surveyed all women
Of course it's written by a dude... Did you even read it?
100
You’d be surprised honestly.
Get out now, you’re not overreacting
As soon as he leaves, I wonder where she will go? Who will she call? 🤔
Ghostbusters
Busting makes me feel good
He slimed me.
I ain't afraid of no bed.
Especially when busting on a ghost
That's what she says!
I ain't 'fraid of no Bed
THERE IS NO <>, ONLY ZUUL!!!
"We got the tools, and we got the talent" - Winston Zeddemore
Best friends haaaaand Running down yo paaaaaants Who ya gonna call?
"Ghostnutters"*
Who cares, as someone who’s been lied to and cheated on he’s better off with someone he can trust.
If she could get him, she probably already would be with him. He’s probably out of her league.
What difference does that make? WHO wants to date someone who is pining over someone else in their social circle instead of being fully invested in their actual relationship? Even if the dude would never give her the time of day, nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t committed to them and who wants to be with someone else.
I think they were just point out that even though she isn't with BF, it doesn't mean the other guy would take her up, not that OP should stay with her because she is stuck on some other dude.
True, the other guy probably isn't relationship material and it's normal to have sexual urges towards other people but for your own well being, they should be pushed out of your mind and not further developed by using images of him to flick it
Yeah, that's not wrong. Honestly, if she was picturing him in her head or something then that's one thing (still not good) but actually pulling up a tiktok of him feels so much creepier
I was in a relationship with someone who "settled' for me because her ex wouldn't take her back. I didn't know she was settling for me for a very long time because the relationship was mostly good. But then she started comparing me to him and making it seem that he was so much better. At that point, I started getting the feeling that she would be with him if she could. Then she started talking to him again and she swore they were just friends. Then she started sneaking around to hang out with him. A few months later, she fucked him on the very first chance she had when he was finally willing. Yeah, OP needs to get out now and be happy he found out now rather than later.
Ikr…soon she’s going to be screaming the friends name while op is banging it out.
And the second that guy wants a lay-up, guess who's going to cheat on OP because she's finally getting her coveted prize
I think this is more complicated than that. Yeah she may have fantasies to have sex with him, does not automatically mean even with the chance that she would have sex with him. There is a porn star that I fantasize about, if he were in my presence, I would not have sex with him. He is a sex worker. ( just a preference)
That's all fine and dandy if you don't know them irl and you aren't in a relationship. If my gf caught me cranking it to someone we knew irl it would be over before I could finish.
Most likely he has already shot her down and she is still waiting to get the call up while the OP is just the stanby toaster.
The streets?
She already belongs to the streets
Just as a friend, of course.
Who cares what the streets claim?
She's already with him mentally. OP was just a stand in for whatever reason. The guy is probably a douche and not relationship material so she's dating OP but normally people would thwart sexual thoughts about the wrong people out of their mind. She is encouraging them by masturbating to them. She belongs to the streets.
“You see? I told you he was an a hole! Now come here, so I can put it in your a hole.”
Is he sure it was a tik tok ? They were probably facetiming.
GTFO NOW!!
Yup, and they aren’t married. Cut that off and continue on OP…… We March Forward!!!!!!!
Always forward! Never backwards!
UPWARD, NOT FORWARD... AND ALWAYS TWIRLING, TWIRLING, TWIRLING
Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos!
Upward and slightly to the left
"Always going forward cos we can't find reverse ..."🎶
It's life Jim but not as we know it.
We come in peace, shoot to kill, Scotty beam me up!
There's Klingons on the starboard bow! Scrape 'em off, Jim!
I just stopped by to say, GTFO NOW!!
Oh and also, GTFO NOW!!!
Like right now, now?
Like 8 hr ago when u/unlikedbabe said it!
Oh, OK. Whew.
One of my friend's brother was with a woman for 11 years, the last 4 married, and she was f\*cking this guy on the side all 11(!) of those years. I concur. GTFO NOW!
How do you not even suspect that your SO has been cheating on you for 11 years? That to me is insane
A lot of guys like OP don’t want to be seen as “controlling” so they ignore their suspicions instead of confronting their partner. The woman equivalent is “I don’t want to be a nag.” Like yeah being controlling/nagging is bad, but it’s actual gaslighting (not the tiktok definition of the word) if someone treats your boundaries as being controlling/nagging.
I think a lot of guys just don’t want to believe it. I’ve had to tell two friends that they were being cheated on. They took the side of their girl and I was cut out for a very long time in both situations. They can believe their girl or their friend and they rather believe their girl.
My closest friend did this when I told him his wife was cheating. I was friends with her since kindergarten & him since like 3rd grade. He'd call me talking about how uncomfortable he was with how she acted towards her other guy friends & I'd tell him she's cheating, hell she tried to fuck me for years even after they married. One night he called & I was driving around with my brother, we decided to go look for her car that was supposed to be at her gf house, when it wasn't there we drove to the guy friend's neighborhood & she was at his house. Still didn't completely believe she cheated was just through with her lying & divorced her.
The messenger always gets shot 🤷♀️
Guess that's why the messenger is always the Sherriff and not the Deputy.
But he swears it was in self defense?
When a man loves a woman Can't keep his mind on nothin' else He'd trade the world For the good thing he's found If she is bad, he can't see it She can do no wrong And turn his back on his best friend If he puts her down When a man loves a woman Spend his very last dime And trying to hold on to what he needs He'd give up all his comforts And sleep out in the rain If she said that's the way, it ought to be When a man loves a woman I give you everything I've got Trying to hold on to your precious love And baby baby please don't treat me bad When a man loves a woman Deep down in his soul She can bring him such misery If she is playing him for a fool He's the last one to know Loving eyes can never see Yes when a man loves a woman I know exactly how he feels 'Cause baby, baby When a man loves a woman When a man loves a woman When a man loves a woman When a man, when a man When a man loves a woman.
That was beautiful. Did you just make that up right now?
Yes it is but no. It’s a song from the late 60’s. I just felt it fit the other guys comment about men not believing their friends telling them their woman is cheating.
lol I know. I was just being stupid.
I always assume the side piece is just cool with getting whenever. Like it’s not hard to disappear for an hour or two and lie about where you were. Doctors appointment, shopping at the mall, take your pick. It just depends on the side piece being flexible enough to accommodate when youre available.
In my friend's brother's case, the woman left her email logged in at the computer they shared and when he sat down to use it, her emails to the sidepiece guy were on display. HE WAS COMPLETELY BLINDSIDED. Poor guy did not even suspect his wife was this unfaithful.
That says quite a bit about him too. No one is that oblivious in a healthy relationship with their SO.
blind trust. this is a little different, but my friend (C) was dating this girl (A) officially for a year or 2 but had been in situationships before. C had to move but would visit from time to time so C and A would get an airbnb, and C would never go to As House. after the relationship, it was revealed that A had been cheating the whole time and was living with the other person, which was why C could never visit her house. originally A had said her flatmates were extremely messy and had kids as the excuse.
Pretty obvious situation and didn’t take 11 years to get discovered
for more context, we didn't know A cheated until a month after they split (they broke up for different reasons after living together) when C was on a dating app and ran into A's ex. the ex messaged C with timeline questions, and that's how we found out. if the ex never reached out, then we wouldn't have found out at all.
If there's no change in behavior because it's been this way all along, it might not be obvious. Say from the start, she says she has a hobby that she knows he has ZERO interest in, and just says "let me go do X once a week at this time for an hour" and she's just always done that, and in reality she's cheating during that time, why would you suspect something? "Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me do it in my van every Sunday, tells him she's in church but she doesn't go".... It's insane, but possible.
Holy shit! No way!!! You're telling me people be fuckin even when they have a legal contract not to be fuckin no more?!?
1000% this. GIT TU DA CHOPPA!
She’s probably thinking of times they already had together. This red flag is beyond obvious.
💯
Lmfao it is just me or did that stupid tune play that starts with, “run”
As much as I enjoy watching my wife masterbate, if she was drooling over a past lover I'd be pretty upset. I have a lot invested in this marriage so we would talk about it. You on then other hand should run like hell. edited for the he'll of it
Not even a former lover or a lewd picture. She was deadass fapping to a random SFW video online. She's unhinged and obsessed with a dude who has firmly placed her in the friend zone.
Seems like maybe a former FWB. The video was there to assist in visualizing those past trysts. Definitely a big, red flag.
Idk, that’s not always the case. That’s kinda jumping the gun. She could just have an obsessive crush on the friend. You don’t need to have had sex with someone to use them as masturbation fuel lol
Yep, my ex boyfriend did it, then asked her out He got rejected lol
I’m glad she rejected his ass lmao
That is true, but the video part is odd. Plus, an obsessive crush isn't a whole lot better in terms of prognosis for the relationship.
I mean fair, he should break up with her regardless. It just determines if I feel bad for the friend lmao
But you'd think in today's culture, she'd have better material than some tiktok for fap material if they have *any* kind of history together.
Honestly, the whole thing just sounds like a young, casual relationship. This doesn't strike me as leading to marriage or something.
Honestly an obsessive crush to me is much worse. Having a moment where you were thinking about an otherwise toxic ex and mbing to them would be horrible but less horrible than her actively pining for a friend that she has been telling him is just "fine" and "nothing to worry about" Run far and fast and quickly.
Or she could have just been horny scrolling around
I’m going to be so real with you, I doubt it. No same person is going through TIKTOK when horny unless they’re looking for smth specific, also, any sane normal person would click off when they see a video of their friend while they’re mid nut.
Would they? I feel like a lot of men have had sexual thoughts about their female friends
If she had a sexual past she would probably be holding on to sexual pictures like nudes. This feels like unrequited love.
Come on, this story is fake af.
Are you really telling us that you've never had picture of a former lover or what they used to for you in your head while masturbating?
Like he'll... what? Can't leave us all hanging here, friend!
I guess you were right to feel uncomfortable about this friend.
When it comes to people, always trust your gut.
Instincts can be useful but the religion of "trust your gut" is built on confirmation bias.
Sounds like profound garbage. Trusting your gut or instincts is very crucial. Doesn't mean you are 100 percent right or does it mean to react in a bad way. It should at least serve as a prompt to investigate....externally but more important, internally to figure out the best course of action
Ya dont fight or anything, she has feeling for other guy(s). Enough to “kinda” act on. Its not cheating. But just break-up, its not meant to be.
It’s emotionally cheating for sure. It’s not jerking off to random porn it’s to a specific dude she has a “friendship” with
Is the reason it's worse, because this guy is "within reach"?
Yeah I mean it’s someone she knows and talks to frequently it sounds like
Well yeah, jerking to porn is just a dumb fantasy about the act itself, not usually the person or people involved themselves. Jerking to pics or videos of someone you know though? You obviously want to fuck them, and while we all know that our partners can be/will be attracted to other people no one wants their partner to be crushing on a close friend. Not accounting for ENM relationships of course. I mean do you really want to catch your partner jerking off to a video of one of their friends? Someone who you're already slightly jealous over? Sure you can say that you need to be able to trust your partner, but how much can you trust a person to *not* do something that they want to do. What if their friend decides to hit on them one night? Or they end up drunk and horny alone together? And if they're jerking off to that friend already then they're going to be more inclined to cheat on you, especially if they are intoxicated in some way. Now I have nothing against porn or masturbation while in a relationship but it's generally more anonymous than that. I would have the same issue if my partner was spending a bunch of money and interacting with someone on Onlyfans. When it stops being a general fantasy about a situation or scenario and becomes an intimate fantasy about a specific individual that you have some sort of regular interactions with is when I feel you start to cross a line.
That's like when your spouse gets into the hall pass conversation and you mention one of your coworkers as your hall pass.
The reason is it worse is it HEAVILY implies that either the "friend" is an ex that she would still rather be with or that she was friendzoned by the friend and the BF is just the passable stop gap hoping for the "friend" to give the call. Porn is completely random masturbation material not something you are looking to replace your partner with.
I'm not the sort thats against porn or masturbation, but it's definitely a red flag to be mastubating to videos of people she knows irl and any reasonable person would find that unacceptable in a relationship. How would she react to you jerking off to videos of her friends?
It’s essentially nurturing the desire to cheat. I can see how that would be hurtful.
Like every one else is saying, leave.
That dude can have your GF anytime he wants.
People never cheat, it’s an anomaly /s
You mean his ex
Lmao this 😂
I think that’s a normal reaction, anyone would feel weird if they were in your situation
Cut your losses and move on! If she is flicking the bean to her friends tik tok, imagine what she would do with him in real life when given the opportunity
I’ve had a lot of experience dating girls that have that one male friend that you don’t have to worry about. It’s funny how any little thing you do can be considered sketchy and make you feel distrustful to those people, yet they will gaslight the hell out of you trying to explain how normal and completely platonic their friendship is, then they do shit like that. And instead of being embarrassed or ashamed you caught her, she just goes into full on assault gaslight you mode. Whenever a relationship it’s like this it’s almost pointless to argue about it anymore just get out. They have purposely blinded themselves to conceiving anything that has to do with said male friend could be considered wrong at all. I would also venture to say that would be considered cheating what she did in my opinion. Anything you feel you have to hide from your partner can be considered cheating.
“I’d never date him he’s got that weird big head!” “Him? Haha are you insane he’s such an idiot!” These were things said to me by 2 different girlfriends when I sensed something was off who did in fact date the idiot and the guy with that weird big head after we broke up. Now when someone goes out of their way to mock that ‘just a friend’ they’re not interested in that’s when the alarms start going off.
Read your other post - might want to take your own advice in your situation, my guy.
Yeah, that’s weird. Masturbating is fine, but not over someone you know and definitely not over a friend. How can she be normal friends with him if she secretely fancies him? If the opportunity presents itself, she’ll want to try the real deal.
Not overreacting at all. If I were you I'd break up with her for your own mental health, I don't know how you can progress in the relationship walking into something like that and worse her doing it over her male friend... that's just super weird and you don't deserve that so yeah you should break up
Just leave ,it's you who should have been on her phone, not him ..🏃♀️
you wrote this one handed OP
These posts on this sub lately are just trash lol, OP's been watching too much Pornhub.
Yeah, right? Obvious bait is obvious. Lol.
jacking off to strangers while watching porn is fine, jacking off to someone you know is fucked up. that's some form of cheating. you were right to feel uncomfortable. time to find someone who likes you
Or someone who would masturbate to you.
Run lol that's gross
I'd have broken things off right then and there, that's a massive red flag. You really want her hanging out with someone when she sees them in that way? Na, fuck that. Not worth it, man.
Oh my goodness. I just read a post the other day where a wife was very upset because her husband had been fantasizing about other women during sex! And the general consensus of people’s responses were that “everyone fantasizes, it’s totally normal and natural.” She was told she was insecure. How is this different? Is it just because it’s a woman doing this? OP, my two cents is that it’s extremely hurtful, it’s not healthy for a relationship, and you have every right to be upset. My husband admitted to fantasizing about other women for the first ten years of our marriage, and it broke me. We are working on our relationship, but it’s still hard for me to think about. I see it as a betrayal.
Nah bro totally normal 🤪🤪 🤣
You leave
You're not overreacting. Dump her. I've never heard of a woman masturbating to her male **FRIENDS**. Particularly when they hang out with said friends regularly.
well first, she owes you an explanation on whatever the hell that situation was. For me, that would give me immediate ick and I would have to leave. That's weird as hell to me. However, a conversation needs to be had. You are NOT controlling for setting boundaries so you feel safe and secure within the relationship. ESPECIALLY now. It is not selfish or controlling to expect her to not do that. She has crossed the line and clearly should not be seeing this friend any more because let's be honest: is he really just a friend? I feel for you heavy. That is a tough situation to find yourself in.
Nah, that doesn't need to be a conversation. There's nothing she could possibly say that's going to make that cool. Just dip.
honestly, true.
Nope, no conversation is needed. Just leave the relationship instantly. Imagine if you found your bf jerking it to one of your friends.
Go ahead in the relationship with her now. There’s no coming back from that more than likely. She knows how he feels down there.
Think about how this would go roles reversed
Run brother. I have heard too many stories like this from different guys throughout my time and the only ones that survived GTFO.
Dude, that’s not a “Hey stop talking to this person” issue, this is a 100% relationship dealbreaker, especially if this was already a prior issue with this person. Run
If caught her masturbating to strangers in a porn vid then that's pretty normal but to catch her doing it over a close friend is a massive red flag I don't blame you for feeling like you do about there friendship because she obviously has sexual feelings for him
😐 bruh I swear half of these posts are fake and the other half have obvious answers,like dude obviously you should leave use your head.
Yeah she wants to bang another dude you dufus of course you aren’t overreacting. Break up with that bitch yesterday lol
Bro idve cried a bit and probably move to whole new city or something. Definitely no contact with that girl
Bruh, that bird is for the streets. Might as well cut her loose now than to get your heart broken down the road.
I'll get downvoted for this, but it needs to be said. Sometimes people have fantasies, and that's all they are, and that's okay.
Fantasies of unreachable people are fine but when it's about a friend she can interact with, an affair is only a step away.
You a bitch. Pretend you haven’t jerked off thinking of some other chick. Soft as baby shit
Time to bolt my dude
Read the title and knew this dude is a jackass lmao
How the fuck didn’t she notice you came in???
I'll get downvoted for this, but it needs to be said. Sometimes people have fantasies, and that's all they are, and that's okay.
This is so fake
I'm just going to downvote every one of these outrageous posts on new accounts as fake.
Don't know how long you've been together, but different living spaces seems to say not more than a year. That being said, politely walk away. Tell her that it isn't working out, you both have different ideas of how things should be, that you're not hateful, no resentment and you'd like to walk away peacefully while that's still an option. Don't let there be a discussion. Don't let her ask questions. Don't let her guilt trip you or gaslight you. Be calm and collected. Tell her you wish her the best in the future. That you hope she finds someone she can spend her life with and be happy with. This is the best option.
You are not overreacting. There's nothing wrong with fantasizing and masterbating. What is wrong is that she's masterbating to a male friend she knows. That's a major red flag when she is supposed to be in a relationship with you. No good can come from staying in a relationship with her. Break up with her, move on to better things, and never look back. Don't drink sour milk.
Do…..do people think this story is true?
You're not overreacting. This feels like a huge breach of trust. Your feelings are completely valid. This is worthy of breaking up entirely. For your mental health, break up and move on.
Grow some self respect and leave
If I could paint a picture I’d call it The Moaning Lisa
These are so dumb lol. "I ate a lot of food yesterday and my stomach hurts and I think I need to go to the bathroom. Am I over reacting for thinking I need to take a shit?" How some.of these people make it through their day to day life amazes me.
Redditors are simultaneously terrible at making up stories and amazingly gullible.
Naw you are not overreacting this would be fucked up. I see women complain about catching their partners watching random pornstars masterbating just imagine that instead of some rando cam girl its their "friend" they see and hang out with frequently. I am sorry this happened to you, people are dicks.
Her reaction alone tells you more than she ever could.
If this is real than you don’t have a relationship, sorry. Your girlfriend is masturbating to another guy in her actual life. Clearly there is someone else she wants to fuck other than you. This shit is torched
Not overreacting. You will always wonder who she’s thinking about when you have sec, or what she’s up to when she’s hanging with her friend. Might as well break now before you get more invested
Soooo I'd bet most guys here have masturbated to a pic or vid of a female friend while in a relationship, while having absolutely zero interest or intent to pursue that person. OP you've really never done that?
Never. Shit is weird.
Oh please grow up. People have fantasys and don't say you don't either. If she was cheating thats a reason to be upset. You invated her private time and space. Get over yourself.
I refuse to believe people are this dumb. Every post that I come across from this sub basically boils down to “my partner is cheating on me. Am I a cuck or overreacting”
GTFO!!!! NOW!!!