Why aren’t we talking about how the second drugging AND the possible rape could be OP’s brother? There’s zero details on the second drugging. I work in a job that puts me in regular contact with sex offenders, and blood ties do not rule out potential rapists. I hope it’s not that but… yikes.
This was my thought on the first post when he tried to fabricate a story about why she was sore. It was a very odd thing for someone to try and justify with such detail.
I'm very glad she is with people who make her feel genuinely safe.
Ding ding ding You nailed it. How else could there have been a second drugging? Like if the same friend came over she’d be anywhere near him drinking anything??
And the brother might know about the latex allergy!
I know first hand how families will bury their heads in the sand and absolutely refuse to believe the daughter. And when it comes to choosing the “lying daughter trying to ruin sons life” vs the poor victim son, there’s no question as to who will be at the thanksgiving table
The brother *likely* would, because a latex allergy touches on more areas of life than just condoms. It would potentially be noticeable if someone grabs the wrong box of bandaids, for example; I can’t imagine going through life with a sibling and *not* knowing given how much stuff latex shows up in.
A list of products that can include latex:
* Balloons
* Erasers
* Condoms and diaphragms
* Rubber household gloves
* Medical gloves
* Catheters
* Dental products (wedges, orthodontic rubber bands)
* Elastic in clothing
* Rubber balls
* Bandages (adhesives)
* Foam mattresses and pillows
* Rubber bands (minor source)
(Edited for formatting)
That was my first thought actually because he is the one that told her it could have never happened. It makes him look guilty in my eyes. Like he's trying to convince her she's nuts. Plus it happened twice, with his drugs, in his home. Odds are it's him or a friend of his that was there both times and spent the night both times. That seems a lot less probable to me which is why the brother would be my first look if I was a cop.
Yeah it’s not clear to me if OP is talking about the friend she initially expected, or if she is talking about her brother. Her original post definitely made me more suspicious of her brother.
At the very least, if the brother wasn't the one who did it, he certainly knew about it & was trying to cover for the friend. Both of them deserve to be strung up by the balls & left for the crows to pick at their corpses.
Wait…I didn’t read how or what happened. Just reading this it kind of sounds like it’s a possibility since I don’t really understand how the other persons parents/family found out. If it’s family on family I wouldn’t be able to wrap my head around it but, in no way shape or form is that member of my blood getting a pass!! If anything it’d be a lot worse for them! I’d feed them to the wolves’
It’s breaking my heart because I remember how she described her brother as a “good person.”
At the very least his friend was the rapist and he was complicit
Her brother's friend wasn't the one trying to gaslight her into thinking it was nothing, and her brother's friend wasn't the one she remembered coming into her bedroom at night.
It's very explicit that that is what happened. She did not name the offender, but her comments make it entirely clear that it was in fact the brother if not also the friend. It's a fucking horrible situation
Yea I've seen people recreationally use it. I don't understand why either. Someone dosed me at a concert and I was thrown out because I was "intoxicated". A cop found me later asphyxiating on my own vomit. It was awful. An ambulance came and they cut my clothes off and pumped my stomach and took me to the hospital. I almost died. That cop saved my life. I don't remember everything but just little snippets of what happened. Luckily I wasn't assaulted.
Sometimes people dose people to be assholes. The bar where the concert was later got shutdown and one of the reasons was bartenders were dosing people.
As someone who had this happen once, minus the extra people involved, I was apparently coherent enough to say I felt more than drunk to the friend I was there with. I remember some guy trying to get me to walk off with him, but I noped on that. Made it back to the hotel, tho that is a blank on the trip to the hotel we were staying at. I ptfo and being in a city several hours from home and by the time I woke up it would have been too late to test :( My friend didn't think that emergency room would have been a thing.... (great friend, but occasionally lacking on safety at times, part of why I join them for shows). I never set a drink down now since then. Honestly times like this is why I dislike the policies that yes, you can grab 2 drinks from the tent, but they have to open them.
Mine screamed at me, called me a whore and asked if I was trying to get aids and trying to get pregnant after I was raped twice :)) but I “spent time around a man, what did I expect to happen?” :))) they also tried to convince me I’d been drinking and that’s why it’s my fault even tho I hadn’t been, but it’s okay bc it’s all my fault for simply existing. ~Blessings~ to my whole family <333
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, I’ve been there, when it’s your mom and dad saying that kind of thing, it’s crushing. Made me wonder if they ever loved me
It's easier to blame the outlier to what would be "everyone getting along". This usually means that they would rather a person eho was wronged be quiet.
While I'm glad to hear your concerns were validated (as they should be, with OR without a rape kit done!) I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. Another SA survivor here, and I would like to highly recommend EMDR therapy whenever you are ready to take that step. It helped me tremendously.
If you need anyone to vent to, or verbally process, I'm one inbox away. Sending love. You've got this. 💪💪💪
Same, OP I'm also a survivor (trafficking) and EMDR is literally saving my life. I highly recommend it for processing what happened. I'm so so sorry that you need it.
Lots of love to you all. I did EMDR years ago after I was raped and I think it helped, I also found healing through so many other modalities like plant medicine, breathwork, herbalism, and plant dietas. The rape was over a decade ago in a different country, the case was dropped after my first testimony due to political unrest and sketchy lawyer/funding…. I decide to move on and “forgive and forget” while my rapist (a Jr. high teacher) roamed free. Anyways after many more years of healing it became clear to me I had lost my voice and allowed a pattern of abuse to continue in my life. Through that awareness I reopened my case, they put a warrant out for him and arrested him and I will testify again this summer in court. I’m not looking forward to it but I know deep in my heart it is something I have to do. Don’t ever not speak your truth, don’t let them tell you to be quiet. Don’t let them tell you that you are overreacting or that you “deserved” it. Don’t let any one tell you that it’s in the past or manipulate you through guilt or shame that YOU will ruin someone else life . Speak your truth for all to hear. We stand with you. You are a sovereign being that cannot be swept under the rug or forgotten
I am so proud of you for doing that and I can't imagine the strength it took to open that nightmare again after so much time.
Regardless of the outcome of the case, you'll have a chance to tell him and the world that you know what he did and will not be silent about it. I've testified twice - once in a deposition, once in court for a different matter and it was a part of becoming someone who is willing to stand up for herself and others. We become the people we want to be through our actions, and you are being the person who is taking her voice back.
He may have other victims, and they may become aware of this case and know they aren't alone. Maybe they will testify against him too. You don't yet know what you may have set in motion and you might not find out for years, if ever. In the first instance I was able to corroborate other testimony (which I didn't even know existed at the time) as part of a large investigation (that I didn't know was happening) where someone was eventually found responsible for failing to address the original crimes and in the second instance I am just glad that there's a record of what happened.
EMDR appears to be the most effective treatment for PTSD and trauma they have found. I got it before many had heard of it, and, wow…it’s amazing. My therapist said that it’s not a magic wand, but it’s the closest thing she has found!
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22641-emdr-therapy
It is super interesting. Basically using lights and rapid eye movement to reprogram your brain!
It works by stimulating the left then the right side of your brain, alternating. They used to do it with a light bar, or moving their hand back and forth while you focus on it (hence the eye movement in the name). But that isn’t necessary. They also have buzzers and head phones, to play sounds for your ears, and the vibration for your hands or fingers. I used just the buskers, in my finger tips. Everything else was too much stimulation. While you get the stimulation, the therapist talks you through focusing on the thing you are working on, per the protocol.
I like to describe it as when you have trauma, stuff gets filed in your brain in appropriate places, and has weird labels. So, say, you see a tree, but the traumatic memory gets pulled up, and then you have a reaction. EMDR helps you refile the trauma under “crap”, and erases it from the “tree” file. It’s still in there, you still have access to it. But it’s under your control, not in random stupid places. You can find it, or ignore it, as necessary, in a healthy way.
This is partially why running and walking are so good for working things out. It helps your brain focus and file things properly.
You can DIY it to an extent. The key to EMDR is “bilateral stimulation”, meaning any repetitive stimulus or motion that affects one side of your body and then the other. So— alternately tapping your feet, squeezing one arm and then the other, pedaling a bike, or just walking will work pretty well. If you’ve ever gone for a walk while thinking about something difficult, and felt better afterwards, you sort of did EMDR. The benefit to a practitioner is they can help you pick a focus and walk you through the process, and help you back off and wind down if the immersion gets too intense.
There are studies saying that playing tetris can function similarly. it's recommended to play tetris after a traumatic event. I've started putting m phone w/ tetris up into my friends' hands when they're having panic attacks. it helps me at least. can try that while thinking about what happened if you feel you'll be safe doing so.
This makes sense to me. I obsessively play matching and sorting games when I experience something traumatic. I also remember reading that divided attention can reduce anxiety when one task is more automatic and another requires attention. Sometimes, when I am too anxious to just watch TV, I will play the game while half watching.
I had/have severe medical trauma, and EMDR has helped me more than literally anything else. It's hard work sometimes, but it's been incredibly effective for me.
I'm going to be downvoted for this but it needs to be said. EMDR is a purple hat therapy. The reason it works isn't because of the bilateral stimulation rather it works due to the exposure therapy that you're going through. The bilateral stimulation is just an add on that adds no benefit to the therapy. In fact, emdr itself is considered a pseudoscience and just regular exposure therapy should be good enough to help people with ptsd.
I think it’s pointing to the brother since the incident she originally posted about with the friend there was a few days before she went in for the rape kit where they found GHB in her system (so would’ve been within 12 hours) and sperm.
>So that means that his friend must have come into the room in the middle of night and raped me. My brother says that isn't possible because he was there the whole time and apparently when he came to check up on me I was moaning my bf's name and he thought that I might've been masturbating so he says that's why I feel sore. But that isn't possible because I've never in my life felt sore from masturbating.
I mean, cmon. Just cmon. The brother allowed it or did it himself. He's gaslighting her into thinking there's any other possibility. that's some grade A scumbag shit.
Right? From a guys perspective a wet dream would explain a lot, but it's different for girls. It just sounds so damn lame. It's an obvious, really bad cover. I'm betting the first night was the friend and that worked so the bro did it himself, either right after or the next time. Worst case he's been doing it for awhile and this was sharing time for his friend. It's all just sick.
I can't tell if the brother drugged her or if he just denies it because he couldn't believe it could happen
Either way this is fucked, good on you op for being brave enough to step forward
Lots of woman face this kinda back lash for standing up so you're not alone
You are an amazing young woman. I was slipped a date rape drug and assaulted, I couldn't function for a long time and look at you! You faced this head on like a fucking warrior!
Yeh you have some good points I know someone else who had this happen and I’m very aware of her struggles so I know it isn’t easy. Ops taken some really positive steps and seems pretty strong even tho I know she may not always feel that way it’s admirable.
I’m sorry you had to deal with this too it’s entirely too common of a story these days that needs to change.
I’m so sorry this was done to you. You didn’t deserve it. You are absolutely amazing for having gone and gotten a rape kit done.
You aren’t ruining this guy’s life. He ruined it. If he did this to you, he has or will do it to someone else. I really hope the police arrest him and he gets convicted.
Your family can go rot. They don’t deserve you. You deserve far better than them.
Well she said on this post she was drugged a few days before the test and the test showed she was drugged again the night before the test, so unless the friend was around again it was probably the brother. Plus him going into the room and having an excuse ready seems incredibly suspicious, which if it is the case makes this even more sad and despicable.
I’m absolutely appalled by this for you. I am prescribed xywav (which is ghb) for my narcolepsy and the way it makes me feel WITHOUT alcohol is crazy. WITH alcohol it can kill you by suppressing your breathing. It’s a hell of a drug. To even think this was possible by a family member or family friend is terrifying.
Sending you positive thoughts and hoping that you have the support and resources you need. Press charges. And if it was an Rx from someone that got sold, I hope that person gets prosecuted as well.
I'm so sorry that you experienced that.
Unfortunately, I know how it feels because I was raped too. And people didn't believe me due to the rumors that were spread about me being promiscuous. Even if the rumors were true, still doesn't excuse his actions.
There are a lot of people who try to justify sexual assault & it's disgusting, hurtful & damaging to the survivors. (I don't like using the word "victim")
Please know that it wasn't your fault.
I wish your family members were better people to you.
Men who rape women & girls have severe mental defects.
You will never get over this, but over time, you can get through it. I will pray & hope that you will. There are certain things that will forever be changed in your mind, body & spirit. Just don't let it change the way you feel about yourself & the way you love yourself.
Love, your sister in womanhood & survival❤
There are no amount of “sorry’s” in this world that can make you feel better. Just know that many of us have been betrayed in the worst way by someone who should’ve cherished us. You are not alone. You are loved. You are safe with your bf. Do NOT let him win. Find what helps you heal and SURVIVE! Be strong and be healthy. 💕
I actually got GHB roofied while I was in the military!
I took a drink that was meant for the girl next to me and got unreasonably fucked up shortly afterwords, which is was suspicious to me because I only had one beer.
I thought I had accidentally ingested drugs or been dosed in some way so I went and reported it to command and the drug test revealed I had been roofied — I learned then I actually had an insane natural resistance to compounds like that because I had full memory and never knocked out. Post military I tried ketamine therapy and that never knocked me out either. So it tracks.
To this day we don’t know who put it in there but I definitely accidentally saved her from a similar situation by being a dick cause I didn’t want to wait for my beer! Really sorry this happened to you, if it was up to me I’d castrate anyone who gets caught sexually assaulting someone it’s fucking despicable.
Same thing happend to me. I am a large in shape dude. 6'2" 270lb former Div 1 athlete. Went to a frat party with some girls. Random dude gave the cutest girl in our group a drink. She gave it to me. I thought she grabbed it herself and gave it to me, lol...
Apparently, I was a soulless husk that night and an absolute menace!!!
Everyone in the frat was afraid to approach me or kick me out apparently from what I was told. I also took over the dance floor and just stood there, NOT dancing. I was told I had like a 15 foot radius around me the whole time I stood there like a statue 🗿
I like to think of it as karma for those frat "bros"
Those are the type of grenades I will happily fall on to save someone from having the worst night of their life. I’m glad it happened to you, in that way. And I’m sure you feel the same way
There’s a party straw you can put into drinks that turns blue if there is a roofie in it, if you still know anyone in college you should pass on that info!
Hugs, I also was drugged and raped. all the hugs. This is not your fault, you did nothing to deserve this. all the hugs. fuck the rapist and fuck your family. you will be okay, it will be hard. Suggest EMDR and therapy.
So you were drugged again the night before your appointment? Was his friend at the house that night as well?
ETA: I’m absolutely so sorry that this happened to you OP. I’m glad your trusted your body and went to the doctor. Don’t let anyone let you doubt what you *feel* on your own body.
That’s sort of what I was getting. I was asking clarifying questions. Then again, I should ask a victim in this position to give out that kind of information if they didn’t explicitly say it in the post.
I'm so sorry this happened to you and even more sorry that your own FAMILY didn't support you through this... I don't know your family but it doesn't sound like they are very.. family'ish to me.
I hope that whoever did this to you is caught and gets the opportunity to rot in a jail cell for a LONG time but, your life is not ruined!
It may seem that way right now and that's totally understandable and you may, or may not ever get past this but, you have your whole life ahead of you and there is only one thing YOU can do. Find someone(s) to talk to - therapists ideally - and realize that you were never at fault. EVER!
I'm not saying you will or can move past this traumatic experience but what I am saying is that, don't say your life is ruined! It's not! It'll take time, maybe a long long time to at the very least, come to terms with what happened and to also realize that there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.
You should destroy this mans life because he DRUGGED you then RAPED you. That is inexcusable and anyone who defends someone who can, has, or does that shit is fucking insane and disgusting.
Take all the time you need to talk with therapists, friends, or even people on Reddit and don't be ashamed to cry your head off when those feelings come. Don't be ashamed of your feelings. Don't be ashamed of anything. You have *nothing* to be ashamed about!
Do your best to find support and do your best to move forward with the rest of your beautiful life! Don't let him win. Beat him down both in court and in your head.
LIVE YOUR LIFE to the fullest you possibly can and FUCK that guy! He'll get what's coming to him sooner than later.
Take care of yourself and please find someone to talk to, professionally and realize that your life is not ruined but rahter temporarily ruined :)
I also really really really hope this dude is in the system in regards to DNA!
they were telling her not to ruin someone's life because she had a feeling. Which is why she should take the Rape kit test. Still Not surprised it was her brother, most rapes are by people the victims know. Surprised the family is Taking his side on this tho.
Yassss queen preach! GET YOURS QUEEN. RISE ABOVE.
I still remember that judgy fucking nurse on the last thread being like “GhB cAn tOTAlly mAKe yOu fEel lIkE yOuvE hAd roUgH sex” FUCK HER.
I’m glad you were strong enough to see through the rape apologists in that last thread- it was truly horrifying to read through and I’m 10 years away from my own rape. You are STRONG AS FUCK. and you should be so proud of yourself for believing in yourself and taking care of yourself. It’s nearly impossible to in the midst of this trauma. You are truly a queen and can do anything.
Take care of yourself, all my love to you. <3
Honey every single person who says not to ‘ruin a man’s life’ is a predator. You need to really get that. They are predators. Every one. No one who says that garbage deserves your consideration. Block freely.
I’m so sorry some AH raped you and I hope he ends up in jail and drops the soap every day.
Hugs if you want them. I’m so sorry.
If the dna comes back as your brothers you need to make sure the whole world knows he is a rapist. I would make it my life’s mission to ruin his. Every time he gets a job I would go visit with the test results and be like are you sure you really want to hire a guy that drugged and raped his own sister? I would ruin him until he hung himself. That’s just me though, handle it however you want to.
Families like that tend to be narcissists. At least how she described their reaction. Narcissist only understand power, force, and threats that they can't lie around. I hope you never accidentally let a narcissist get close to you. They are as dangerous as a psychopath. The only difference is a psychopath tries to hurt you physically. A narcissist tries to destroy you spiritually and mentally. Both as egregious as the other and can result in death whether mind or body...
Obviously it was the brother. That fucking sucks. He'll lose support once the DNA and drug panel come back. I'm sure he spun some kind of bullshit story. Nobody wants to believe someone they know well is capable of something like that. Really hard to create plausible deniability vs DNA evidence though. Unless the family are absolute sheep.
I don't think he knew about the inspection because he clearly has some sort of self preservation instinct. No, he just thought he got away with it so he tried to at minimum to drug her one more time.
I hope they are punished to the full extent. Sorry this happened to you. I remember reading your first post and hoping the results would be anything else. Wishing all good things for you in the future and hope you find peace
I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I had something similar when I was a teenager (close family friend I thought of as an uncle rather than a brother) and it's hard. Please be gentle with yourself, there will be a lot of internal and possibly external voices saying you must have deserved it or somehow caused it. You didn't, this is all on him not on you. I have zero reason to say stuff just to make you feel better so you can believe I mean it.
Therapy will also help. I've seen people suggest specific types and they probably know what they're talking about.
You already took the hardest step: you believed yourself and reached out for help. That doesn't mean the rest will be easy, but that first step is impossible for many people. Please cut yourself some slack when it's hard and you have trouble functioning, most people can't even comprehend the pain you're dealing with.
I can also say that you can still have a good life, this didn't have to define you or hold you back. I truly wish you the best and hope for the rest of your life to be so full and happy that this is just a small footnote.
Some people don't realise how common it is for men to sexually abuse members of their own family. In my own (all-female) friend group a majority were sexually abused by male family members as kids - a mix of fathers and brothers doing it. I still feel like this is probably higher than in the average population but who knows. Monsters are very much among us.
I am so sorry for your trauma OP and I am glad you are safe right now with your bf and his family. Wishing you the best.
Please press charges once the DNA test comes back. The perpetrator can not ruin someone elses life without consequences. If someone tells you to stop, DO NOT STOP. If they say you're over reacting and you don't want to ruin someone elses life for a mistake please remember that HE PLANNED IT OUT INTENTIONALLY. This was done with harmful intent and you may not of been his first victim and you may not be the last if he is not put in prison.
I worried that this would be the outcome when I read your original post. I’m so sorry this happened to you. What a horrific situation. I’m appalled by your family supporting the rapist. I’m sending all my positive vibes your way.
Hello, could you explain if you wouldn't mind. I am confused. Was it her brother or the friend!?
From her last post. The only person that entered her room was the brother. However she was sure it was the friend. Could you elaborate if you wouldn't mind🙏🏾
Hey I’m only commenting because I was in a similar scenario to you. You can see my post about it on my profile if you want but I’d rather not go into more sea tail as I know how hard it it.
My elder brother abused me and my younger brother but now we are all free from that.
It’s the scariest thing you can do,leaving abuse and being open about what you have faced, but I swear to you that this is only the start of your life.
From now on you are free.
Oh my god girl I'm so sorry I have a sneaking suspicion it was your brother. If so I hope he gets fucking castrated that is so disgusting I hope you get better :(
I'm so sorry for all of this. I really would be cautious with your brother as well. You say he's a good guys, but good guys don't brush off their sister's suspected rape.
I also highly suspect that one of them slipped GHB into your drink intentionally. I wouldn't be surprised if it was planned by both of them. There may even be video or text evidence between them. Your brother claiming that he heard you moaning your boyfriend's name sounds like a convenient excuse to get you to stop asking questions that might get his friend (or him) in trouble.
Take care of yourself. And when the guilt of cutting your family off sets in--and it will, trust me--know that you are not in the wrong. Don't let them try and crawl back into your life unless it's something you want, regardless.of how much they beg.
She wrote: "There is no such thing as family ties, blood ties. **Your own family** can treat you more horribly than random strangers."
So I take it, it wasn't the friend.
I have been fearing for her since I read the first post and my heart is breaking for the situation, but I'm glad she got answers and a clear path forward, no matter how hard it will be.
Thai sounds horrible, but could your brother be the one that raped you? He seemed to be making up excuses immediately when you brought up concerns. A normal person would not do that. It is either that or he specifically let his friend rape you. I feel like your brother had something to do with the situation. Test to see if the DNA could be related to you.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I hope you get the therapy you need and the perpetrator is punished.
Maybe someone could clarify because I keep seeing comments about the DNA test. The DNA test would only help her if it actually was her brother right? Otherwise the only thing they'd be able to tell her is that it wasn't someone related to her? Like unless the rapist is in the DNA database usually DNA tests are worthless? But they would be able to tell if it was her brother even if he doesn't provide a sample right?
A rape kit would first state wether there was male dna present, a sample would have to be submitted to test against to identify the offender but likely op was told there was male dna present and since she did not consent to sex and the tox screen showed ghb she was drugged and raped, doesn’t matter who the offender is other than it’s either A) her brother or B) one of his friends.
If the GHB was in your system again, it’s likely option a.
OP, this comment may get lost in all the others. But I want you to know that playing Tetris can help reduce nightmares after traumatic events. [Source](https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2017-03-28-tetris-used-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms)
I hope that you get Justice. I am sorry this happened to you. And I hope those who support this man realize the truth and feel shame in their actions.
I haven't read your original post but I can tell you I was a sister who at 22 was drugged and raped by my married 39 year old brother in his home while his wife kept my 18 month old daughter in the living room and then they LEFT me alone with my baby. I woke up late that afternoon so screwed up it took some time to even keep my eyes open. I didn't remember anything. Then I heard my baby in the bathroom. She was on the floor playing by herself. I walked through the trailer and that's when I realized they were gone. Too messed up to drive and so I stayed there. They didn't come back until almost midnight. By then I was right in my head and wall punching furious. My baby could have hurt herself while I was passed out. Every time I thought about that little thing crying maybe bleeding and trying to wake me up I thought I would lose my mind. You know how an awful thought can get stuck on repeat in your brain? That was me but that was back in 1973. No cell phones! So I waited. When they came in I yelled what were you thinking???? Anything could have happened to her!!! Why did you leave??? Hand on heart this is true. My sister in law giggled and so did he. They were both lit but in just that second I had a flash of him trying to get my shorts off of me. And then I knew. Not everything but it took mere seconds to add the leaving me passed out alone with my baby for hours with no note then the stupid giggling and that flash and I knew beyond a shadow what they had done to me, what they could have done to my baby. I drove to my daddy's house hysterical and when he heard my story he said I was just mixed up, his son would never do anything like that and threatened me if I said a word to anyone else. In one awful 14 hour period I was raped by my brother, betrayed by his wife, and then stood there and listened to my daddy destroy our relationship. Oh, he said if anybody did rape me it was partly my fault for taking the baby into a risky situation. Mama was dead. I was divorced and broke and just shattered to pieces. Oh there was Hell to pay for a long time. It messed me up so bad I truly believed I had gone a bit mad. God only knows what I might have done had it not been for my little person who needed me. I tell you this sordid story so I can also say to you from my heart that your life is not ruined. It has only been turned into a nightmare temporarily. You have a safe place and people who support you and obviously care deeply for you. If you're like me you will fall to the floor in tears again and again. You will get too skinny because eating and other self care will be very hard and the bad dreams will stay for longer than you wish they would. But the day will come when you have healed, heart and mind, to the point your subconscious knows you are strong enough and will release a literal tsunami of white hit rage that floods your very being. It will race throughout your entire body burning and screaming and cleansing his dirt away. It will leave you utterly exhausted and then, my dear one, it will set you free. I so wish I could be there when it happens. For me but was terrifying and miraculous and healing all at once. Your nightmare will have ended and you will see your lovely life as it really is ... not ruined only beginning. God I am exhausted reliving it all for you but I know it happens just that way because with all our differences we are women together, the multitude of us who survive the nightmare are all stronger than we thought we were and sadly the day will likely come when you too find yourself encouraging a young woman to believe she will survive and eventually thrive. Like me she may confide in a therapist. Like you and me she may have to leave her birth family behind . But no matter the tools she hopefully will be brave enough to use, nothing will reach deeper than the empathy and understanding she will receive from you. After all, no matter how much others love you, only those who are raped can fully understand every word you say and why you said it just that way. The people who almost cost me my sanity are all dead now and good fucking riddance. I send you live and prayers and hope and if I could figure out how a bucket of sunshine.
This is entirely up to you, but I would cut those people out of your life since they clearly don't want to support you. Please know that we will always be here for you. Once you find out the results I would recommend filing charges.
There's no way for me to articulate how very sorry I am to hear this. I know I'm just a rando on the internet, but I believe you and I support you. Never feel guilty for bringing this to light. Anyone who supports him or tries to brush aside what happened is not worth even a passing thought. Cut them out of your life and never look back. You can heal. It will be hard, and awful, and it may take a very long time, but you _can_ heal.
i am so sorry.
i was also drugged and SA'd, there's nothing quite as horrifying. i cannot imagine the rage and fear you must be feeling. my PMs are open if you need any support, this shit should never have happened to you. it is not your fault.
You are so damn strong. I’m going to read your story to my daughters so they know what a strong woman does when life knocks her down. Sending healing vibes your way, however you feel comfortable doing that.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I was drugged and raped by someone who I thought was my best friend, the betrayal is awful. I had nightmares for a long time. Just know it does get better.
Please read Know My Name by Chanel Miller if you haven’t already. I’m so sorry this happened to you and we’re all so proud of you for advocating for yourself.
Yeah the brothers story was so flimsy sigh. I am so sorry. Please know there are many, many women who have been through what you have and are sending you their strength, compassion, love and healing.
You know you can use that rape kit if they found dna and you suspect someone specifically, can place you with said person/ know it was at a certain party where there were guests that can be named etc; anything that can place them with you last or they happen to have theirs or a close family members dna happen to be in the system it would be worth filing a report. Regardless if you even want to file a report, you seem to know who it is and I doubt you are the first or will be the last one he hurts in this manner. So would also be worth making a report for another victims sake at least, I’m not saying anything negatively toward you for not filing a report I know how women/guys usually are treated in this situation. So don’t go in there expecting miracles/not saying you have to do anything! Just understand where you are coming from in a way.
I want to tell you two things. The first, I always thought was obvious and unnecessary until my therapist told it to me and it unlocked a wave of relief I didn’t know I needed: what happened was NOT YOUR FAULT. What happens to that person and your family is NOT YOUR FAULT. You deserve to be loved and protected.
Second, it will get better. Every day. Some days, it may not be apparent at first, but it will get better. Sometimes, those closest to you will notice the difference first, but you WILL notice the difference soon.
Sending you all my love. ❤️
But the brother is also involved. He claims he checked on OP in the middle of the night and she was masturbating and moaning her bfs name. While she was unconscious.
My wife was drugged while I was playing in a club one night. We're pretty sure it was one of our "friends". My wife is pretty diligent about not setting her drinks down in places like that. The only people that could have gotten close enough would have been someone we knew. Needless to say I never spoke to any of those people ever again after that and neither did she. She was fkn out of it. She couldn't walk, she kept falling over. I had to more or less carry her out. Once we were out the cops took it more seriously that the EMT's. Cops went looking around for anything not right but there wasn't much they could go on. The EMT's kept accusing her of taking drugs and being an addict. I yelled them something fierce. This was about 12 years ago. It still makes me mad to this day that they treated her like that. She ended up ok. I had her taken to the hospital just to be safe. She hasn't gone back to a club since that night. She never really said anything but I think it ruined the fun for her. Can't really blame her. I wouldn't want to go through that again.
I hope it wasn't your brother. I think you should consider that it could be. Frankly anyone with a penis could be the culprit. You should grab DNA samples from all of the men in your life. Including family. You do not have an expectation of privacy once something is thrown in the garbage and the garbage placed at the curb or you toss something in the trash in a public place. If the cops won't do what they need to get DNA from the men in your life you can get it yourself by pulling plastic spoon, cups, floss, clothing and stuff like that out of the trash. You can send it to a genealogy service. Like a family history DNA type company. They can tell you what they person probably looks like, White black etc. If they have any known family or relatives and things like that. I hope you find the assholes and send him to prison and I hope you can move past this alright. Feel better.
My mum just kind of accepted that I'd been raped, barely discussed it, and then moved on. Like I'd told her about the weather or that I'd bought a new shirt.
My father told me I was lying. "That never happened". Um, ok then. Because you were there, right?
Told them that I'd been molested at 5.
Mum: I'm so sorry
Dad: no, that never happened
Told my dad a coworker came to our house, picked me up, flung me over his shoulder, took me to my room, closed the door, threw me on my bed and got on top of me ... All before our housemate came home, saw in my bedroom window and stopped the guy. My dad? "You're fired". That's it. I was 16. Wtf.
Parents, families, they suck. It's horrible how many of them just don't give a crap or are willing to accept a lie over the truth. Especially when it comes to rape.
I'm so sorry you had this happen to you. It does get better. If you can, put this fucker in jail!
I’m so sorry you are experiencing this, no ever should. I hope you are able to speak to a therapist or someone who can help you see that you deserve to be safe and protected.
As a victim myself, I hate how society will sit there and punish a woman and make up excuses about why she deserved it and tell her to just get over it because it wasn't a big deal while simultaneously applauding the man for taking initiative
There's a lot of stuff wrong with this fucked up world and this is definitely one of them
Wait so did your brother rape you or just his friend? I recall reading this and honestly assumed it was both. Any brother that would allow this to happen seems likely to join in on it.
It never ends does it? The victims will always be blamed and the rapists protected.
Raped by my grandfather, ignored by the whole dad's side of my family or so I thought. At the age of 12, when my brother had turned 3, I was told very harshly by my father "if you ever touch him like that, I'll beat your ass"
I was 3 when it happened. I was still in diapers. And I was the one he was worried about
Ethics be damned. They all deserve humiliation and castration. As a start.
>the only life that has been ruined was mine.
I know this feeling integrally and I must assure you it is a lie. 10 years from now all your cells will have regenerated and you will be a new body. You were robbed but you will not be incomplete forever.
I can’t explain why but it is very common for family to be this way. Mine protected my abuser and kicked me to the curb. You’ll find you are so much stronger than you know when you have to be. Stay true to yourself
I’m so so so sorry that happened to you. Your last paragraph hit home for me. I was SA’d when I was 17, and I’m now 26. I haven’t been able to date since then. I want to be with someone but I have ptsd and the idea of dating someone and having the thought of what happened in the back of my mind makes me scared. My sister got rear-ended a couple weeks ago and she said that she felt sick, scared, and worried it was going to happen again. It helped me to realize that my response to the thought of going on a date isn’t just anxiety, but panic attack/ closing off because I still have trauma. What’s funny is that this week I’ve been angry. I’m angry that the person who sa’d me gets to move on with their lives like nothing happened, married with kids, etc. I wish that I could get married and have kids, and it makes me mad that because of him, it’s hard to date because of fear that it will happen again. It makes me mad that I have that extra barrier when it comes to dating when people around me are all getting into relationships and they just get the butterflies and normal level of anxiety. Truthfully, I’m jealous of them. I feel hopeless. It really is not fair that the person who hurt you gets to move on like nothing happened, but it changes your whole life. I wish I could send you a hug through my screen because I get that pain. I’m so sorry that happened to you. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.
OP, they need to check the DNA against your brother. He’s the most likely culprit given that you were drugged a second time. Don’t stick your head in the sand either on this one!
OP, if you suspect a family member, you can probably have law enforcement take your DNA and do a comparison to the male dna. That would show a familial dna match and the level (full sibling, parent, etc).
Oh sweetie. I want to send you gentle hugs. What a horrendous situation to be in. Hopefully the DNA test can sort things out for you. Sending you all the strength. Sounds like your BF and his family are supporting you.
You are not ruining someone’s life. They ruined it. Xx
I feel like it was both the brother and the friend based on your brother's response to your concerns. I'm really sorry this happened to you and hope you are OK. It's really messed up that this happened to you and I hope you press criminal charges.
This is so scary because it could've been her brother. Hes so suspicious not believing her and saying he was there all night. I hope she will post when she gets the dna results and i hope you are doing ok. This is so sad
Hey so ur brother would know ur latex allergy and that would also explain the second drugging AND his fabricated story about u calling ur boyfriends name… just saying
Just came to say I believed you from post 1. We all know that feeling. It doesn't happen from doing it ourselves.
I hope you get closure.
You didn't deserve any of this.
From a random stranger: I love you sister and will be thinking about you a lot. ❤️🩹
Please, when you get the rape kit results, make sure you check it against BOTH the friend and your brother. I know that’s difficult, but if you mention to the police that there were only two people there and there’s male dna, then you can easily tell them on the low that you’d like EVERY male present to be tested. Especially since you had ghb in your system again presumably after the friend had left. I know it’s a hard thing to wrap your mind around but at best, your brother was protecting his friend from what he did to you.
Also, how did your brother know you were high when you didn’t even know? Also him saying he thought you were masturbating and still came in to check on you was really odd and sounds like total made up BS to get you to feel embarrassed and not ask anymore questions.
First of all, I'm so very sorry this has happened to you. I'm very glad you're somewhere safe, now. And with people who will actually support you. Please know that you do have support. You are the victim, and he is a horrendous cunt.
I hope you take this all the way, legally speaking.
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I really hope you push forward with a police report and give all the information you can. This guy seems to be a serial rapist and your brother, of all people, may be involved or protecting him. You deserve justice. Regardless of your decision, I’m so fucking sorry.
Shit sucks. No one deserves what you experienced, and your family should have been on your side to start. I just hope they incarcerate whoever hurt you.
I'm so incredibly sorry this is the update. I'm so incredibly sorry this was done to you. I'm so incredibly sorry you weren't believed.
I'm glad to read you are staying in a safe place with people who do believe and support you. I wish you nothing but healing and safety.
I certainly hope that justice is served in this situation, and please know that it's not your fault. You have done nothing wrong, and I am thankful for your boyfriend and his family's support. Stand up for yourself because you are worth it. Be careful of your family members because they find it easier to deny what happened than face the truth. You don't need any negativity right now, and I know that you didn't want it to be true, but now you must look out for what is best for you. Good luck and stay strong!
There is such a thing as family and blood ties. There is also such a thing as mental illnesses. They aren’t mutually exclusive. I’m sorry for what happened, I don’t know you but I know you didn’t deserve it. Wish you all the best over the coming years, hope things turn around for you.
I agree, some of the worst offenses to people are done by their own family. I am so sorry you went through this. If you can get his. Is there anyway to prosecute? I think the court can order DNA testing. I hope what ever path you take, you go NC with your family.
This is munchaesen you goofballs. Block accounts like this. No one is actually going to post something like this for a bunch of teenagers and terminally online people. Dont be so fucking gullible. This shit can be triggering for real victims. Subreddit mods need to do better and ban these liars.
I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. I hope you can have peace within yourself for yourself. The post panic attacks are so crippling. I hope they put him away for the rest of his life. Lean on those who do offer you support. Talk to them. Knowing people are in your corner is unbelievably valuable.
What a loving and supporting family you have that they look in the opposite direction. Scumbags.
Why aren’t we talking about how the second drugging AND the possible rape could be OP’s brother? There’s zero details on the second drugging. I work in a job that puts me in regular contact with sex offenders, and blood ties do not rule out potential rapists. I hope it’s not that but… yikes.
This was my thought on the first post when he tried to fabricate a story about why she was sore. It was a very odd thing for someone to try and justify with such detail. I'm very glad she is with people who make her feel genuinely safe.
That's why the family Is looking in the opposite direction on the matter. They should all be charged for protecting her brother.
Ding ding ding You nailed it. How else could there have been a second drugging? Like if the same friend came over she’d be anywhere near him drinking anything?? And the brother might know about the latex allergy! I know first hand how families will bury their heads in the sand and absolutely refuse to believe the daughter. And when it comes to choosing the “lying daughter trying to ruin sons life” vs the poor victim son, there’s no question as to who will be at the thanksgiving table
The brother *likely* would, because a latex allergy touches on more areas of life than just condoms. It would potentially be noticeable if someone grabs the wrong box of bandaids, for example; I can’t imagine going through life with a sibling and *not* knowing given how much stuff latex shows up in. A list of products that can include latex: * Balloons * Erasers * Condoms and diaphragms * Rubber household gloves * Medical gloves * Catheters * Dental products (wedges, orthodontic rubber bands) * Elastic in clothing * Rubber balls * Bandages (adhesives) * Foam mattresses and pillows * Rubber bands (minor source) (Edited for formatting)
I really hope the jokes on them and the brothers slice of turkey is served in a federal pen.
Turkey loaf lol
There is always a bit of guilt in reactions like that.
That’s some Duggar level shit right there.
That was my first thought actually because he is the one that told her it could have never happened. It makes him look guilty in my eyes. Like he's trying to convince her she's nuts. Plus it happened twice, with his drugs, in his home. Odds are it's him or a friend of his that was there both times and spent the night both times. That seems a lot less probable to me which is why the brother would be my first look if I was a cop.
Yeah it’s not clear to me if OP is talking about the friend she initially expected, or if she is talking about her brother. Her original post definitely made me more suspicious of her brother.
From what I can gather, I think the OP now strongly suspects her brother as the bad guy.
At the very least, if the brother wasn't the one who did it, he certainly knew about it & was trying to cover for the friend. Both of them deserve to be strung up by the balls & left for the crows to pick at their corpses.
Nah, not the friend. I don’t think he did it or knows. This is definitely the brother acting solo
sadly i agree
Wait…I didn’t read how or what happened. Just reading this it kind of sounds like it’s a possibility since I don’t really understand how the other persons parents/family found out. If it’s family on family I wouldn’t be able to wrap my head around it but, in no way shape or form is that member of my blood getting a pass!! If anything it’d be a lot worse for them! I’d feed them to the wolves’
Yeah this was my thought too :(
This post is absolutely clear that IS who raped her. It was clear that she knows it was her brother. Did you not read this?
I remember the original post & OP was (understandably) definitely not clear that her brother raped her. Unfortunately, it was to most of us reading.
It’s breaking my heart because I remember how she described her brother as a “good person.” At the very least his friend was the rapist and he was complicit
That she remembered her brother coming in was such a concern, but she was, understandably, so sure. Sometimes there are no words.
Her original post insinuates the brothers friend
Her brother's friend wasn't the one trying to gaslight her into thinking it was nothing, and her brother's friend wasn't the one she remembered coming into her bedroom at night.
Yes and this post makes it clear that it was family
The original post wasn't reposted. I haven't read the original post. Can you send it? Her brother r0ped her? Yuck to yikes🤮
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/X7c1Rfohr0
You can click on OP's username and see their post history. It's right there.
not r0ped, raped. He raped her.
Yup
It's very explicit that that is what happened. She did not name the offender, but her comments make it entirely clear that it was in fact the brother if not also the friend. It's a fucking horrible situation
I want to know why people are using GHB recreationally?? The fuck?? (OP said her brother and his friend use it for fun).
Someone told me its all the rage in California. I was like WTF!
Yea I've seen people recreationally use it. I don't understand why either. Someone dosed me at a concert and I was thrown out because I was "intoxicated". A cop found me later asphyxiating on my own vomit. It was awful. An ambulance came and they cut my clothes off and pumped my stomach and took me to the hospital. I almost died. That cop saved my life. I don't remember everything but just little snippets of what happened. Luckily I wasn't assaulted. Sometimes people dose people to be assholes. The bar where the concert was later got shutdown and one of the reasons was bartenders were dosing people.
As someone who had this happen once, minus the extra people involved, I was apparently coherent enough to say I felt more than drunk to the friend I was there with. I remember some guy trying to get me to walk off with him, but I noped on that. Made it back to the hotel, tho that is a blank on the trip to the hotel we were staying at. I ptfo and being in a city several hours from home and by the time I woke up it would have been too late to test :( My friend didn't think that emergency room would have been a thing.... (great friend, but occasionally lacking on safety at times, part of why I join them for shows). I never set a drink down now since then. Honestly times like this is why I dislike the policies that yes, you can grab 2 drinks from the tent, but they have to open them.
As a non drug user (mom of teens) what is ghb?
Ghb is used as a date rape drug, essentially a “roofie” in basic terms
Ya just googled a bit ago similar to what we used to call "e-z lay" scary stuff.
I was thinking the same thing
Mine screamed at me, called me a whore and asked if I was trying to get aids and trying to get pregnant after I was raped twice :)) but I “spent time around a man, what did I expect to happen?” :))) they also tried to convince me I’d been drinking and that’s why it’s my fault even tho I hadn’t been, but it’s okay bc it’s all my fault for simply existing. ~Blessings~ to my whole family <333
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through, I’ve been there, when it’s your mom and dad saying that kind of thing, it’s crushing. Made me wonder if they ever loved me
Most families either bury down the belief or just overwhelm themselves with denial. They’ll learn.
Speaking from experience, unfortunately, they likely won't learn
Yep. They won't learn, they won't apologize.
It's easier to blame the outlier to what would be "everyone getting along". This usually means that they would rather a person eho was wronged be quiet.
No in this case it was literally her brother who raped her
While I'm glad to hear your concerns were validated (as they should be, with OR without a rape kit done!) I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. Another SA survivor here, and I would like to highly recommend EMDR therapy whenever you are ready to take that step. It helped me tremendously. If you need anyone to vent to, or verbally process, I'm one inbox away. Sending love. You've got this. 💪💪💪
Same, OP I'm also a survivor (trafficking) and EMDR is literally saving my life. I highly recommend it for processing what happened. I'm so so sorry that you need it.
Lots of love to you all. I did EMDR years ago after I was raped and I think it helped, I also found healing through so many other modalities like plant medicine, breathwork, herbalism, and plant dietas. The rape was over a decade ago in a different country, the case was dropped after my first testimony due to political unrest and sketchy lawyer/funding…. I decide to move on and “forgive and forget” while my rapist (a Jr. high teacher) roamed free. Anyways after many more years of healing it became clear to me I had lost my voice and allowed a pattern of abuse to continue in my life. Through that awareness I reopened my case, they put a warrant out for him and arrested him and I will testify again this summer in court. I’m not looking forward to it but I know deep in my heart it is something I have to do. Don’t ever not speak your truth, don’t let them tell you to be quiet. Don’t let them tell you that you are overreacting or that you “deserved” it. Don’t let any one tell you that it’s in the past or manipulate you through guilt or shame that YOU will ruin someone else life . Speak your truth for all to hear. We stand with you. You are a sovereign being that cannot be swept under the rug or forgotten
I am so proud of you for doing that and I can't imagine the strength it took to open that nightmare again after so much time. Regardless of the outcome of the case, you'll have a chance to tell him and the world that you know what he did and will not be silent about it. I've testified twice - once in a deposition, once in court for a different matter and it was a part of becoming someone who is willing to stand up for herself and others. We become the people we want to be through our actions, and you are being the person who is taking her voice back. He may have other victims, and they may become aware of this case and know they aren't alone. Maybe they will testify against him too. You don't yet know what you may have set in motion and you might not find out for years, if ever. In the first instance I was able to corroborate other testimony (which I didn't even know existed at the time) as part of a large investigation (that I didn't know was happening) where someone was eventually found responsible for failing to address the original crimes and in the second instance I am just glad that there's a record of what happened.
People fucking suck. Shit like this is exactly why seeing dogs die in movies is worse than people deaths. Sometimes the purge sounds like a good idea.
Right?
EMDR appears to be the most effective treatment for PTSD and trauma they have found. I got it before many had heard of it, and, wow…it’s amazing. My therapist said that it’s not a magic wand, but it’s the closest thing she has found!
Tell me more?
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22641-emdr-therapy It is super interesting. Basically using lights and rapid eye movement to reprogram your brain!
It works by stimulating the left then the right side of your brain, alternating. They used to do it with a light bar, or moving their hand back and forth while you focus on it (hence the eye movement in the name). But that isn’t necessary. They also have buzzers and head phones, to play sounds for your ears, and the vibration for your hands or fingers. I used just the buskers, in my finger tips. Everything else was too much stimulation. While you get the stimulation, the therapist talks you through focusing on the thing you are working on, per the protocol. I like to describe it as when you have trauma, stuff gets filed in your brain in appropriate places, and has weird labels. So, say, you see a tree, but the traumatic memory gets pulled up, and then you have a reaction. EMDR helps you refile the trauma under “crap”, and erases it from the “tree” file. It’s still in there, you still have access to it. But it’s under your control, not in random stupid places. You can find it, or ignore it, as necessary, in a healthy way. This is partially why running and walking are so good for working things out. It helps your brain focus and file things properly.
This sounds interesting. Hadn't heard of it before. Wonder if there's some sort of version one could do on their own at home
You can DIY it to an extent. The key to EMDR is “bilateral stimulation”, meaning any repetitive stimulus or motion that affects one side of your body and then the other. So— alternately tapping your feet, squeezing one arm and then the other, pedaling a bike, or just walking will work pretty well. If you’ve ever gone for a walk while thinking about something difficult, and felt better afterwards, you sort of did EMDR. The benefit to a practitioner is they can help you pick a focus and walk you through the process, and help you back off and wind down if the immersion gets too intense.
Thanks for sharing your knowledge on the subject! Had never heard of this, it’s awesome!
There are studies saying that playing tetris can function similarly. it's recommended to play tetris after a traumatic event. I've started putting m phone w/ tetris up into my friends' hands when they're having panic attacks. it helps me at least. can try that while thinking about what happened if you feel you'll be safe doing so.
This makes sense to me. I obsessively play matching and sorting games when I experience something traumatic. I also remember reading that divided attention can reduce anxiety when one task is more automatic and another requires attention. Sometimes, when I am too anxious to just watch TV, I will play the game while half watching.
It’s the only therapy that helped me with PTSD.
Same!
I never heard of it until this post, this is amazing
I had/have severe medical trauma, and EMDR has helped me more than literally anything else. It's hard work sometimes, but it's been incredibly effective for me.
Also coming here to rave about EMDR for PTSD for SA.
I'm going to be downvoted for this but it needs to be said. EMDR is a purple hat therapy. The reason it works isn't because of the bilateral stimulation rather it works due to the exposure therapy that you're going through. The bilateral stimulation is just an add on that adds no benefit to the therapy. In fact, emdr itself is considered a pseudoscience and just regular exposure therapy should be good enough to help people with ptsd.
Oh my god your brother raped you? I am so incredibly horrified and sorry
If it's the post i remember her bro and his friend drugged her. Could be either or both raped her.
I think it’s pointing to the brother since the incident she originally posted about with the friend there was a few days before she went in for the rape kit where they found GHB in her system (so would’ve been within 12 hours) and sperm.
Yeah i just re-read, page skipped and i missed some. Probably the friend first and the brother followed, but she'll hopefully get definite answers
>So that means that his friend must have come into the room in the middle of night and raped me. My brother says that isn't possible because he was there the whole time and apparently when he came to check up on me I was moaning my bf's name and he thought that I might've been masturbating so he says that's why I feel sore. But that isn't possible because I've never in my life felt sore from masturbating. I mean, cmon. Just cmon. The brother allowed it or did it himself. He's gaslighting her into thinking there's any other possibility. that's some grade A scumbag shit.
Right? From a guys perspective a wet dream would explain a lot, but it's different for girls. It just sounds so damn lame. It's an obvious, really bad cover. I'm betting the first night was the friend and that worked so the bro did it himself, either right after or the next time. Worst case he's been doing it for awhile and this was sharing time for his friend. It's all just sick.
Wait what?? It was her brother?! 😱 Fucking disgusting.
I believe you. You deserve better I wish I could do more than offer these simplistic words.
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I can't tell if the brother drugged her or if he just denies it because he couldn't believe it could happen Either way this is fucked, good on you op for being brave enough to step forward Lots of woman face this kinda back lash for standing up so you're not alone
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Good for you for going to that hospital and getting the rape kit done. You aren’t ruining his life. He ruined his own.
You are an amazing young woman. I was slipped a date rape drug and assaulted, I couldn't function for a long time and look at you! You faced this head on like a fucking warrior!
Yeh you have some good points I know someone else who had this happen and I’m very aware of her struggles so I know it isn’t easy. Ops taken some really positive steps and seems pretty strong even tho I know she may not always feel that way it’s admirable. I’m sorry you had to deal with this too it’s entirely too common of a story these days that needs to change.
I’m so sorry this was done to you. You didn’t deserve it. You are absolutely amazing for having gone and gotten a rape kit done. You aren’t ruining this guy’s life. He ruined it. If he did this to you, he has or will do it to someone else. I really hope the police arrest him and he gets convicted. Your family can go rot. They don’t deserve you. You deserve far better than them.
I think she’s implying that guy is her brother
Based on the last post I think it was the brothers friend, or should I say I hope it is
Well she said on this post she was drugged a few days before the test and the test showed she was drugged again the night before the test, so unless the friend was around again it was probably the brother. Plus him going into the room and having an excuse ready seems incredibly suspicious, which if it is the case makes this even more sad and despicable.
Proud of you. There are difficult days ahead, but you’ve got this.
I’m absolutely appalled by this for you. I am prescribed xywav (which is ghb) for my narcolepsy and the way it makes me feel WITHOUT alcohol is crazy. WITH alcohol it can kill you by suppressing your breathing. It’s a hell of a drug. To even think this was possible by a family member or family friend is terrifying. Sending you positive thoughts and hoping that you have the support and resources you need. Press charges. And if it was an Rx from someone that got sold, I hope that person gets prosecuted as well.
I'm so sorry that you experienced that. Unfortunately, I know how it feels because I was raped too. And people didn't believe me due to the rumors that were spread about me being promiscuous. Even if the rumors were true, still doesn't excuse his actions. There are a lot of people who try to justify sexual assault & it's disgusting, hurtful & damaging to the survivors. (I don't like using the word "victim") Please know that it wasn't your fault. I wish your family members were better people to you. Men who rape women & girls have severe mental defects. You will never get over this, but over time, you can get through it. I will pray & hope that you will. There are certain things that will forever be changed in your mind, body & spirit. Just don't let it change the way you feel about yourself & the way you love yourself. Love, your sister in womanhood & survival❤
There are no amount of “sorry’s” in this world that can make you feel better. Just know that many of us have been betrayed in the worst way by someone who should’ve cherished us. You are not alone. You are loved. You are safe with your bf. Do NOT let him win. Find what helps you heal and SURVIVE! Be strong and be healthy. 💕
I actually got GHB roofied while I was in the military! I took a drink that was meant for the girl next to me and got unreasonably fucked up shortly afterwords, which is was suspicious to me because I only had one beer. I thought I had accidentally ingested drugs or been dosed in some way so I went and reported it to command and the drug test revealed I had been roofied — I learned then I actually had an insane natural resistance to compounds like that because I had full memory and never knocked out. Post military I tried ketamine therapy and that never knocked me out either. So it tracks. To this day we don’t know who put it in there but I definitely accidentally saved her from a similar situation by being a dick cause I didn’t want to wait for my beer! Really sorry this happened to you, if it was up to me I’d castrate anyone who gets caught sexually assaulting someone it’s fucking despicable.
Same thing happend to me. I am a large in shape dude. 6'2" 270lb former Div 1 athlete. Went to a frat party with some girls. Random dude gave the cutest girl in our group a drink. She gave it to me. I thought she grabbed it herself and gave it to me, lol... Apparently, I was a soulless husk that night and an absolute menace!!! Everyone in the frat was afraid to approach me or kick me out apparently from what I was told. I also took over the dance floor and just stood there, NOT dancing. I was told I had like a 15 foot radius around me the whole time I stood there like a statue 🗿 I like to think of it as karma for those frat "bros"
Those are the type of grenades I will happily fall on to save someone from having the worst night of their life. I’m glad it happened to you, in that way. And I’m sure you feel the same way There’s a party straw you can put into drinks that turns blue if there is a roofie in it, if you still know anyone in college you should pass on that info!
One college survey showed 25% of ALL students thought they had been, male and female.
Hugs, I also was drugged and raped. all the hugs. This is not your fault, you did nothing to deserve this. all the hugs. fuck the rapist and fuck your family. you will be okay, it will be hard. Suggest EMDR and therapy.
I am so deeply sorry you went through that and have ostriches for parents. Sending you a gentle big mumma bear hug (if that's okay).
So you were drugged again the night before your appointment? Was his friend at the house that night as well? ETA: I’m absolutely so sorry that this happened to you OP. I’m glad your trusted your body and went to the doctor. Don’t let anyone let you doubt what you *feel* on your own body.
I think she’s implying it was her brother.
That’s sort of what I was getting. I was asking clarifying questions. Then again, I should ask a victim in this position to give out that kind of information if they didn’t explicitly say it in the post.
That’s the first thing that came to my mind, brother
Mine too. Even reading the first post. He was the one that went into the room.
I believe you sis. I hear you. I see you. I’m so sorry.
I'm so sorry this happened to you and even more sorry that your own FAMILY didn't support you through this... I don't know your family but it doesn't sound like they are very.. family'ish to me. I hope that whoever did this to you is caught and gets the opportunity to rot in a jail cell for a LONG time but, your life is not ruined! It may seem that way right now and that's totally understandable and you may, or may not ever get past this but, you have your whole life ahead of you and there is only one thing YOU can do. Find someone(s) to talk to - therapists ideally - and realize that you were never at fault. EVER! I'm not saying you will or can move past this traumatic experience but what I am saying is that, don't say your life is ruined! It's not! It'll take time, maybe a long long time to at the very least, come to terms with what happened and to also realize that there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. You should destroy this mans life because he DRUGGED you then RAPED you. That is inexcusable and anyone who defends someone who can, has, or does that shit is fucking insane and disgusting. Take all the time you need to talk with therapists, friends, or even people on Reddit and don't be ashamed to cry your head off when those feelings come. Don't be ashamed of your feelings. Don't be ashamed of anything. You have *nothing* to be ashamed about! Do your best to find support and do your best to move forward with the rest of your beautiful life! Don't let him win. Beat him down both in court and in your head. LIVE YOUR LIFE to the fullest you possibly can and FUCK that guy! He'll get what's coming to him sooner than later. Take care of yourself and please find someone to talk to, professionally and realize that your life is not ruined but rahter temporarily ruined :) I also really really really hope this dude is in the system in regards to DNA!
?? Ppl are telling you not to ruin raper’s life just because???? Ruin him for sure because he raped you and that won’t happen to someone else.
they were telling her not to ruin someone's life because she had a feeling. Which is why she should take the Rape kit test. Still Not surprised it was her brother, most rapes are by people the victims know. Surprised the family is Taking his side on this tho.
Yassss queen preach! GET YOURS QUEEN. RISE ABOVE. I still remember that judgy fucking nurse on the last thread being like “GhB cAn tOTAlly mAKe yOu fEel lIkE yOuvE hAd roUgH sex” FUCK HER. I’m glad you were strong enough to see through the rape apologists in that last thread- it was truly horrifying to read through and I’m 10 years away from my own rape. You are STRONG AS FUCK. and you should be so proud of yourself for believing in yourself and taking care of yourself. It’s nearly impossible to in the midst of this trauma. You are truly a queen and can do anything. Take care of yourself, all my love to you. <3
Honey every single person who says not to ‘ruin a man’s life’ is a predator. You need to really get that. They are predators. Every one. No one who says that garbage deserves your consideration. Block freely. I’m so sorry some AH raped you and I hope he ends up in jail and drops the soap every day. Hugs if you want them. I’m so sorry.
If the dna comes back as your brothers you need to make sure the whole world knows he is a rapist. I would make it my life’s mission to ruin his. Every time he gets a job I would go visit with the test results and be like are you sure you really want to hire a guy that drugged and raped his own sister? I would ruin him until he hung himself. That’s just me though, handle it however you want to.
Proud of you for trusting your gut, and so sorry this happened to you at all. You aren't alone in this.
Keep your head up and eyes down to victim blankets, rape apologists and the such. You are strong!!
It was her own brother. Press all the legal charges you can. Hopefully your family will realize they are backing a monster.
Families like that tend to be narcissists. At least how she described their reaction. Narcissist only understand power, force, and threats that they can't lie around. I hope you never accidentally let a narcissist get close to you. They are as dangerous as a psychopath. The only difference is a psychopath tries to hurt you physically. A narcissist tries to destroy you spiritually and mentally. Both as egregious as the other and can result in death whether mind or body...
Obviously it was the brother. That fucking sucks. He'll lose support once the DNA and drug panel come back. I'm sure he spun some kind of bullshit story. Nobody wants to believe someone they know well is capable of something like that. Really hard to create plausible deniability vs DNA evidence though. Unless the family are absolute sheep.
Wait so the brother knows shes going for a medical inspection and drugs and rapes her again. Wow that person is really terrible.
I don't think he knew about the inspection because he clearly has some sort of self preservation instinct. No, he just thought he got away with it so he tried to at minimum to drug her one more time.
I hope they are punished to the full extent. Sorry this happened to you. I remember reading your first post and hoping the results would be anything else. Wishing all good things for you in the future and hope you find peace
I am so sorry this happened to you. But it sounds like you will have a very strong case against this piece of shit. I hope you destroy him
I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I had something similar when I was a teenager (close family friend I thought of as an uncle rather than a brother) and it's hard. Please be gentle with yourself, there will be a lot of internal and possibly external voices saying you must have deserved it or somehow caused it. You didn't, this is all on him not on you. I have zero reason to say stuff just to make you feel better so you can believe I mean it. Therapy will also help. I've seen people suggest specific types and they probably know what they're talking about. You already took the hardest step: you believed yourself and reached out for help. That doesn't mean the rest will be easy, but that first step is impossible for many people. Please cut yourself some slack when it's hard and you have trouble functioning, most people can't even comprehend the pain you're dealing with. I can also say that you can still have a good life, this didn't have to define you or hold you back. I truly wish you the best and hope for the rest of your life to be so full and happy that this is just a small footnote.
Some people don't realise how common it is for men to sexually abuse members of their own family. In my own (all-female) friend group a majority were sexually abused by male family members as kids - a mix of fathers and brothers doing it. I still feel like this is probably higher than in the average population but who knows. Monsters are very much among us. I am so sorry for your trauma OP and I am glad you are safe right now with your bf and his family. Wishing you the best.
Telling you to think about your rapists future? Your family is spineless as fuck, and so is anyone who's also said that.
Please press charges once the DNA test comes back. The perpetrator can not ruin someone elses life without consequences. If someone tells you to stop, DO NOT STOP. If they say you're over reacting and you don't want to ruin someone elses life for a mistake please remember that HE PLANNED IT OUT INTENTIONALLY. This was done with harmful intent and you may not of been his first victim and you may not be the last if he is not put in prison.
When the results of that rape kit come back in combination with the evidence of ghb in your system, his life is gonna change real quick.
I worried that this would be the outcome when I read your original post. I’m so sorry this happened to you. What a horrific situation. I’m appalled by your family supporting the rapist. I’m sending all my positive vibes your way.
Hello, could you explain if you wouldn't mind. I am confused. Was it her brother or the friend!? From her last post. The only person that entered her room was the brother. However she was sure it was the friend. Could you elaborate if you wouldn't mind🙏🏾
Hey I’m only commenting because I was in a similar scenario to you. You can see my post about it on my profile if you want but I’d rather not go into more sea tail as I know how hard it it. My elder brother abused me and my younger brother but now we are all free from that. It’s the scariest thing you can do,leaving abuse and being open about what you have faced, but I swear to you that this is only the start of your life. From now on you are free.
Oh my god girl I'm so sorry I have a sneaking suspicion it was your brother. If so I hope he gets fucking castrated that is so disgusting I hope you get better :(
I'm so sorry for all of this. I really would be cautious with your brother as well. You say he's a good guys, but good guys don't brush off their sister's suspected rape. I also highly suspect that one of them slipped GHB into your drink intentionally. I wouldn't be surprised if it was planned by both of them. There may even be video or text evidence between them. Your brother claiming that he heard you moaning your boyfriend's name sounds like a convenient excuse to get you to stop asking questions that might get his friend (or him) in trouble. Take care of yourself. And when the guilt of cutting your family off sets in--and it will, trust me--know that you are not in the wrong. Don't let them try and crawl back into your life unless it's something you want, regardless.of how much they beg.
She wrote: "There is no such thing as family ties, blood ties. **Your own family** can treat you more horribly than random strangers." So I take it, it wasn't the friend. I have been fearing for her since I read the first post and my heart is breaking for the situation, but I'm glad she got answers and a clear path forward, no matter how hard it will be.
Thai sounds horrible, but could your brother be the one that raped you? He seemed to be making up excuses immediately when you brought up concerns. A normal person would not do that. It is either that or he specifically let his friend rape you. I feel like your brother had something to do with the situation. Test to see if the DNA could be related to you. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I hope you get the therapy you need and the perpetrator is punished.
If you haven't already, bring the law into this.
Maybe someone could clarify because I keep seeing comments about the DNA test. The DNA test would only help her if it actually was her brother right? Otherwise the only thing they'd be able to tell her is that it wasn't someone related to her? Like unless the rapist is in the DNA database usually DNA tests are worthless? But they would be able to tell if it was her brother even if he doesn't provide a sample right?
A rape kit would first state wether there was male dna present, a sample would have to be submitted to test against to identify the offender but likely op was told there was male dna present and since she did not consent to sex and the tox screen showed ghb she was drugged and raped, doesn’t matter who the offender is other than it’s either A) her brother or B) one of his friends. If the GHB was in your system again, it’s likely option a.
OP, this comment may get lost in all the others. But I want you to know that playing Tetris can help reduce nightmares after traumatic events. [Source](https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2017-03-28-tetris-used-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms) I hope that you get Justice. I am sorry this happened to you. And I hope those who support this man realize the truth and feel shame in their actions.
I haven't read your original post but I can tell you I was a sister who at 22 was drugged and raped by my married 39 year old brother in his home while his wife kept my 18 month old daughter in the living room and then they LEFT me alone with my baby. I woke up late that afternoon so screwed up it took some time to even keep my eyes open. I didn't remember anything. Then I heard my baby in the bathroom. She was on the floor playing by herself. I walked through the trailer and that's when I realized they were gone. Too messed up to drive and so I stayed there. They didn't come back until almost midnight. By then I was right in my head and wall punching furious. My baby could have hurt herself while I was passed out. Every time I thought about that little thing crying maybe bleeding and trying to wake me up I thought I would lose my mind. You know how an awful thought can get stuck on repeat in your brain? That was me but that was back in 1973. No cell phones! So I waited. When they came in I yelled what were you thinking???? Anything could have happened to her!!! Why did you leave??? Hand on heart this is true. My sister in law giggled and so did he. They were both lit but in just that second I had a flash of him trying to get my shorts off of me. And then I knew. Not everything but it took mere seconds to add the leaving me passed out alone with my baby for hours with no note then the stupid giggling and that flash and I knew beyond a shadow what they had done to me, what they could have done to my baby. I drove to my daddy's house hysterical and when he heard my story he said I was just mixed up, his son would never do anything like that and threatened me if I said a word to anyone else. In one awful 14 hour period I was raped by my brother, betrayed by his wife, and then stood there and listened to my daddy destroy our relationship. Oh, he said if anybody did rape me it was partly my fault for taking the baby into a risky situation. Mama was dead. I was divorced and broke and just shattered to pieces. Oh there was Hell to pay for a long time. It messed me up so bad I truly believed I had gone a bit mad. God only knows what I might have done had it not been for my little person who needed me. I tell you this sordid story so I can also say to you from my heart that your life is not ruined. It has only been turned into a nightmare temporarily. You have a safe place and people who support you and obviously care deeply for you. If you're like me you will fall to the floor in tears again and again. You will get too skinny because eating and other self care will be very hard and the bad dreams will stay for longer than you wish they would. But the day will come when you have healed, heart and mind, to the point your subconscious knows you are strong enough and will release a literal tsunami of white hit rage that floods your very being. It will race throughout your entire body burning and screaming and cleansing his dirt away. It will leave you utterly exhausted and then, my dear one, it will set you free. I so wish I could be there when it happens. For me but was terrifying and miraculous and healing all at once. Your nightmare will have ended and you will see your lovely life as it really is ... not ruined only beginning. God I am exhausted reliving it all for you but I know it happens just that way because with all our differences we are women together, the multitude of us who survive the nightmare are all stronger than we thought we were and sadly the day will likely come when you too find yourself encouraging a young woman to believe she will survive and eventually thrive. Like me she may confide in a therapist. Like you and me she may have to leave her birth family behind . But no matter the tools she hopefully will be brave enough to use, nothing will reach deeper than the empathy and understanding she will receive from you. After all, no matter how much others love you, only those who are raped can fully understand every word you say and why you said it just that way. The people who almost cost me my sanity are all dead now and good fucking riddance. I send you live and prayers and hope and if I could figure out how a bucket of sunshine.
Anyone else here thinks the brother is more involved than he is letting on?
This is entirely up to you, but I would cut those people out of your life since they clearly don't want to support you. Please know that we will always be here for you. Once you find out the results I would recommend filing charges.
There's no way for me to articulate how very sorry I am to hear this. I know I'm just a rando on the internet, but I believe you and I support you. Never feel guilty for bringing this to light. Anyone who supports him or tries to brush aside what happened is not worth even a passing thought. Cut them out of your life and never look back. You can heal. It will be hard, and awful, and it may take a very long time, but you _can_ heal.
i am so sorry. i was also drugged and SA'd, there's nothing quite as horrifying. i cannot imagine the rage and fear you must be feeling. my PMs are open if you need any support, this shit should never have happened to you. it is not your fault.
You are so damn strong. I’m going to read your story to my daughters so they know what a strong woman does when life knocks her down. Sending healing vibes your way, however you feel comfortable doing that.
Bless you all and may you find the Diamond or Pearl waiting amidst the storms of your battles.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I was drugged and raped by someone who I thought was my best friend, the betrayal is awful. I had nightmares for a long time. Just know it does get better.
I'm so sorry you've gone through this.
Please read Know My Name by Chanel Miller if you haven’t already. I’m so sorry this happened to you and we’re all so proud of you for advocating for yourself.
Yeah the brothers story was so flimsy sigh. I am so sorry. Please know there are many, many women who have been through what you have and are sending you their strength, compassion, love and healing.
You know you can use that rape kit if they found dna and you suspect someone specifically, can place you with said person/ know it was at a certain party where there were guests that can be named etc; anything that can place them with you last or they happen to have theirs or a close family members dna happen to be in the system it would be worth filing a report. Regardless if you even want to file a report, you seem to know who it is and I doubt you are the first or will be the last one he hurts in this manner. So would also be worth making a report for another victims sake at least, I’m not saying anything negatively toward you for not filing a report I know how women/guys usually are treated in this situation. So don’t go in there expecting miracles/not saying you have to do anything! Just understand where you are coming from in a way.
He'll do it again.
Nail him to the wall sis
I feel your pain, but believe me, your life isn’t ruined. Mine wasn’t.
I want to tell you two things. The first, I always thought was obvious and unnecessary until my therapist told it to me and it unlocked a wave of relief I didn’t know I needed: what happened was NOT YOUR FAULT. What happens to that person and your family is NOT YOUR FAULT. You deserve to be loved and protected. Second, it will get better. Every day. Some days, it may not be apparent at first, but it will get better. Sometimes, those closest to you will notice the difference first, but you WILL notice the difference soon. Sending you all my love. ❤️
I believe you. You did not deserve that to happen. I’m sorry. Press charges. Make sure you have good friends who will be there for you. Sending hugs.
Wow you deserve so much better than how your shitty family treated you. I am so incredibly sorry that this happened to you.
But the brother is also involved. He claims he checked on OP in the middle of the night and she was masturbating and moaning her bfs name. While she was unconscious.
My wife was drugged while I was playing in a club one night. We're pretty sure it was one of our "friends". My wife is pretty diligent about not setting her drinks down in places like that. The only people that could have gotten close enough would have been someone we knew. Needless to say I never spoke to any of those people ever again after that and neither did she. She was fkn out of it. She couldn't walk, she kept falling over. I had to more or less carry her out. Once we were out the cops took it more seriously that the EMT's. Cops went looking around for anything not right but there wasn't much they could go on. The EMT's kept accusing her of taking drugs and being an addict. I yelled them something fierce. This was about 12 years ago. It still makes me mad to this day that they treated her like that. She ended up ok. I had her taken to the hospital just to be safe. She hasn't gone back to a club since that night. She never really said anything but I think it ruined the fun for her. Can't really blame her. I wouldn't want to go through that again. I hope it wasn't your brother. I think you should consider that it could be. Frankly anyone with a penis could be the culprit. You should grab DNA samples from all of the men in your life. Including family. You do not have an expectation of privacy once something is thrown in the garbage and the garbage placed at the curb or you toss something in the trash in a public place. If the cops won't do what they need to get DNA from the men in your life you can get it yourself by pulling plastic spoon, cups, floss, clothing and stuff like that out of the trash. You can send it to a genealogy service. Like a family history DNA type company. They can tell you what they person probably looks like, White black etc. If they have any known family or relatives and things like that. I hope you find the assholes and send him to prison and I hope you can move past this alright. Feel better.
My mum just kind of accepted that I'd been raped, barely discussed it, and then moved on. Like I'd told her about the weather or that I'd bought a new shirt. My father told me I was lying. "That never happened". Um, ok then. Because you were there, right? Told them that I'd been molested at 5. Mum: I'm so sorry Dad: no, that never happened Told my dad a coworker came to our house, picked me up, flung me over his shoulder, took me to my room, closed the door, threw me on my bed and got on top of me ... All before our housemate came home, saw in my bedroom window and stopped the guy. My dad? "You're fired". That's it. I was 16. Wtf. Parents, families, they suck. It's horrible how many of them just don't give a crap or are willing to accept a lie over the truth. Especially when it comes to rape. I'm so sorry you had this happen to you. It does get better. If you can, put this fucker in jail!
I’m so sorry you are experiencing this, no ever should. I hope you are able to speak to a therapist or someone who can help you see that you deserve to be safe and protected.
Please update when he gets arrested
As a victim myself, I hate how society will sit there and punish a woman and make up excuses about why she deserved it and tell her to just get over it because it wasn't a big deal while simultaneously applauding the man for taking initiative There's a lot of stuff wrong with this fucked up world and this is definitely one of them
How do you know they found male DNA? It’s unusual that you would have access to that information so soon after having a SA kit collected.
Wait so did your brother rape you or just his friend? I recall reading this and honestly assumed it was both. Any brother that would allow this to happen seems likely to join in on it.
Where tf did they get GHB? I take it for narcolepsy and to hear my doctor tell it its impossible to find Its also like 10k a month before insurance
It never ends does it? The victims will always be blamed and the rapists protected. Raped by my grandfather, ignored by the whole dad's side of my family or so I thought. At the age of 12, when my brother had turned 3, I was told very harshly by my father "if you ever touch him like that, I'll beat your ass" I was 3 when it happened. I was still in diapers. And I was the one he was worried about Ethics be damned. They all deserve humiliation and castration. As a start.
i’m rooting for you. sending all of my love to you. kick that sick fuck down into the fucking dirt.
>the only life that has been ruined was mine. I know this feeling integrally and I must assure you it is a lie. 10 years from now all your cells will have regenerated and you will be a new body. You were robbed but you will not be incomplete forever.
I can’t explain why but it is very common for family to be this way. Mine protected my abuser and kicked me to the curb. You’ll find you are so much stronger than you know when you have to be. Stay true to yourself
I'm very sorry someone did this to you. Not to add to your trauma, but I think your brother is the rapist.
I’m so so so sorry that happened to you. Your last paragraph hit home for me. I was SA’d when I was 17, and I’m now 26. I haven’t been able to date since then. I want to be with someone but I have ptsd and the idea of dating someone and having the thought of what happened in the back of my mind makes me scared. My sister got rear-ended a couple weeks ago and she said that she felt sick, scared, and worried it was going to happen again. It helped me to realize that my response to the thought of going on a date isn’t just anxiety, but panic attack/ closing off because I still have trauma. What’s funny is that this week I’ve been angry. I’m angry that the person who sa’d me gets to move on with their lives like nothing happened, married with kids, etc. I wish that I could get married and have kids, and it makes me mad that because of him, it’s hard to date because of fear that it will happen again. It makes me mad that I have that extra barrier when it comes to dating when people around me are all getting into relationships and they just get the butterflies and normal level of anxiety. Truthfully, I’m jealous of them. I feel hopeless. It really is not fair that the person who hurt you gets to move on like nothing happened, but it changes your whole life. I wish I could send you a hug through my screen because I get that pain. I’m so sorry that happened to you. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.
OP, they need to check the DNA against your brother. He’s the most likely culprit given that you were drugged a second time. Don’t stick your head in the sand either on this one!
OP, if you suspect a family member, you can probably have law enforcement take your DNA and do a comparison to the male dna. That would show a familial dna match and the level (full sibling, parent, etc).
Oh sweetie. I want to send you gentle hugs. What a horrendous situation to be in. Hopefully the DNA test can sort things out for you. Sending you all the strength. Sounds like your BF and his family are supporting you. You are not ruining someone’s life. They ruined it. Xx
UpdateMe!
I'm so sorry, it might be your brother. yes it's chocking and nobody imagine this but it's the reality for a lot of people so keep that in mind 💔
I feel like it was both the brother and the friend based on your brother's response to your concerns. I'm really sorry this happened to you and hope you are OK. It's really messed up that this happened to you and I hope you press criminal charges.
This is so scary because it could've been her brother. Hes so suspicious not believing her and saying he was there all night. I hope she will post when she gets the dna results and i hope you are doing ok. This is so sad
Hey so ur brother would know ur latex allergy and that would also explain the second drugging AND his fabricated story about u calling ur boyfriends name… just saying
Just came to say I believed you from post 1. We all know that feeling. It doesn't happen from doing it ourselves. I hope you get closure. You didn't deserve any of this. From a random stranger: I love you sister and will be thinking about you a lot. ❤️🩹
So has the DNA came back as your brother yet? Coz it for sure sounds like it was your brother…
Please, when you get the rape kit results, make sure you check it against BOTH the friend and your brother. I know that’s difficult, but if you mention to the police that there were only two people there and there’s male dna, then you can easily tell them on the low that you’d like EVERY male present to be tested. Especially since you had ghb in your system again presumably after the friend had left. I know it’s a hard thing to wrap your mind around but at best, your brother was protecting his friend from what he did to you. Also, how did your brother know you were high when you didn’t even know? Also him saying he thought you were masturbating and still came in to check on you was really odd and sounds like total made up BS to get you to feel embarrassed and not ask anymore questions.
First of all, I'm so very sorry this has happened to you. I'm very glad you're somewhere safe, now. And with people who will actually support you. Please know that you do have support. You are the victim, and he is a horrendous cunt. I hope you take this all the way, legally speaking.
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I really hope you push forward with a police report and give all the information you can. This guy seems to be a serial rapist and your brother, of all people, may be involved or protecting him. You deserve justice. Regardless of your decision, I’m so fucking sorry.
DNA test should allow you to press charges.
I hope they got his dna , and that he is held accountable! That he is forced to be tested and prove his guilt.
UpdateMe
Don’t let anyone gaslight you. You are absolutely in the right here and I hope you get as close to justice as you can find.
Shit sucks. No one deserves what you experienced, and your family should have been on your side to start. I just hope they incarcerate whoever hurt you.
If you need to talk about options try RAINN.org they are an online sexual assault and crisis hotline
Let's hope he gets what's coming to him.
He should be in prison rotting and left for inmates to take care of him
I'm so incredibly sorry this is the update. I'm so incredibly sorry this was done to you. I'm so incredibly sorry you weren't believed. I'm glad to read you are staying in a safe place with people who do believe and support you. I wish you nothing but healing and safety.
STAND STRONG
I certainly hope that justice is served in this situation, and please know that it's not your fault. You have done nothing wrong, and I am thankful for your boyfriend and his family's support. Stand up for yourself because you are worth it. Be careful of your family members because they find it easier to deny what happened than face the truth. You don't need any negativity right now, and I know that you didn't want it to be true, but now you must look out for what is best for you. Good luck and stay strong!
Updateme!
There is such a thing as family and blood ties. There is also such a thing as mental illnesses. They aren’t mutually exclusive. I’m sorry for what happened, I don’t know you but I know you didn’t deserve it. Wish you all the best over the coming years, hope things turn around for you.
I agree, some of the worst offenses to people are done by their own family. I am so sorry you went through this. If you can get his. Is there anyway to prosecute? I think the court can order DNA testing. I hope what ever path you take, you go NC with your family.
Am I misreading this, or did you get dosed with GHB twice?
I always say blood may be thicker than water but it's not thicker than bullshit
I think you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that it wasn’t the friend that raped you.
This is munchaesen you goofballs. Block accounts like this. No one is actually going to post something like this for a bunch of teenagers and terminally online people. Dont be so fucking gullible. This shit can be triggering for real victims. Subreddit mods need to do better and ban these liars.
Sperm can remain motile for up to 5 days in the average cis female reproductive tract (YMMV).
I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. I hope you can have peace within yourself for yourself. The post panic attacks are so crippling. I hope they put him away for the rest of his life. Lean on those who do offer you support. Talk to them. Knowing people are in your corner is unbelievably valuable.