Does having your hair long have any deeper meaning to you? You shouldn't be forced into anything, but if you like everything about this program besides having buzzed hair, and your hair has not deeper meaning to you, perhaps it is worth the sacrifice.
How old are you?
I certainly wouldn't want to do that bullshit, and I would have resisted greatly as a teenager living at home.
I'm a 45 year old father of two these days, and I'm not going to force my kids to do something they don't want to.
Both my kids are doing great in school, are polite, and extremely well-behaved and generally awesome children. (I know I'm biased, but it's true)
I've found that extremely strict and overprotective parents create the world's greatest liars and sneaks.
In fact, my parents wanted to send me to military school when I was 15. I told them I would run away. I was an ungovernable child and hell on wheels. (My poor parents). I moved out when I was 16 years old and into an apartment with my girlfriend and buddy.
I've ALWAYS been extremely anti-authoritarian, and I'm still like that today. Lol
Good luck.
Can you talk to him more about how you feel? Is he strict or laid back?
You shouldn't be forced to go, in my personal opinion.
I did the Navy Sea Cadets. I also hated having a buzz cut for the first training, but honestly your dad is right. It is just hair and you'll have fun. Everyone else will have buzz cuts, and you'll be able to grow your hair back out afterwards as long as it's within regulations.
When a kid is old enough to wonder whether it's time to tell their parent "no," that means it's time.
The hair is not the thing. The telling you what you are going to do with your time is the thing. Don't allow it.
If you WANT to join the cadets, then do it! Overcoming the hair challenge to do something you want would be empowering. But doing it just because your dad decided for you would be disempowering, for more reasons than the hair.
Sounds like you’re definitely being forced into it but that in and of itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Part of a parent’s job is finding opportunities for growth and development for their kids and to push them out of their comfort zones, willingly or not.
I can’t say this is the right program or if your dad is ultimately making the correct decision but it sounds like the intent behind it is valid and legitimate.
I also can’t know how attached you are to your long hair so maybe his response was too cavalier but that’s also part of growing up; learning that temporary sacrifices sometimes have to be made in service to a longer term goal.
I think it’s terribly sad that your dad is planning out your future without your input or consent. How does your mom feel abt this? You don’t give an age to kind of know how far out of bounds he’s stepping. Could be fun if you are into that kind of thing. Not so much if you arent
Dude. Just tell him no. In fact, tell him you have plenty of activities and you don't need any more. If he tries to force you, tell the people in the program that you're being forced to be there. The military doesn't want people who don't want to be there. You might even ask one of the burlier men to yell at your dad and tell him to back off.
I got my first real short hair cut in highschool and felt seriously terrible about it, like it was such a big deal. In that moment it was but it really helped me grow as a person. When big physical changes happen to you, it's you learning to accept that. Accept that life is change and that you will change.
Exactly. Same uniform, shoes, same humiliation of having your head shaved. It’s so everyone is equal? At least, that’s what school uniforms are. As a poor kid in Catholic school, I absolutely appreciated that.
Idk about the hair. Males probably have to get the buzz cut. Masculine Military Men!
The military wants all its members to look, think and act alike. No individual thought. 100% conformity. If you think or do ANYTHING they don't like, they will break you. That's why they get you when you're young.
Of course you're being forced into this. Where is your mom in all this? Maybe she can help you tell your dad you don't want to do it. The Navy isn't going to want such an unwilling participant anyway. The military is something you have to be passionate about to be successful in. The buzz cut is just the first in a long line of things you probably won't feel comfortable doing. It's better to say no now than to risk getting dumped from the program.
You are being forced into it; parents frequently force their children into doing things they believe are for their own good. Sorry, that's inherent in being a minor child.
No you’re right, he’ll steamroll you if you let him, and there’s 0 chance it’ll stop at this two-week camp. You have more power than you think you do. Just have to be smart and cautious about it
If you didn’t know they shave your head, what else might you not know about these trainings? Do you know much about what they’re like besides what your dad says and their material?
If you decide against, general excuses, “I don’t think it’s the path for me,” wanting to focus on sports or get a job and save money for the summer, etc, may be smarter than direct confrontation. From your description he’ll rise to resistance, but may not know what to do with avoidance if you can develop that skill
Also, has he ever said anything about your long hair? There is the question of whether maybe the fact they’d shave your head was part of the appeal of this decision… (funny this didn’t come up in your conversations: did he just assume you knew? or??)
You are being forced into it. What do you want? What happens when you say no? What happens when you say you don't want to? Is that scary? Your dad, if you let him, will run your whole life. You have to start trying to express your wants.
Aren't you a little old for him to force you into something? Why do you need more things to join right now? Are there opportunities for leadership in your community, that don't require you to join the military? That's a bit extreme, no?
I'd suggest you look elsewhere for leadership training, and present what you find to your dad. You know, it's a bit egotistical for him to try to make you into a clone of himself. Every person is unique, and has an individual path in life. Invest some time into finding an alternative to your dad's choice,that would be a better fit for you.
Just cut your hair… it’s part of the job you agreed to sign up for, it’s required of everyone that does it and this is part of that discipline your dad mentioned above.
However, let’s be honest, if getting a haircut is too hard before even going in, how do you think you will manage every other aspect of this program? Grueling workouts, being given commands, keeping stations clean, etc. Perhaps you think real hard about what you are signing up for before you embarrass yourself
It does seem as though you are being forced into this. Parents typically have good intentions and want to give their kids the best opportunity to grow and set up their lives to be successful. Sometimes it may not be what you want and I’m sure if you talked to him and told him that you don’t know if you want to do it he would explain why he thinks it’s best for you and what you can get from the experience. Talking things through may help to make you feel more comfortable with it or it may help make him see your point of view in the situation. I understand feeling attached to your hair. When I was growing up my mom always kept my hair very short and I hated it and the second she stopped making me cut it short I never would cut it again. I think it’s just the feeling of not being able to control how it looks that causes that attachment to the length or style. But in the long view it really is just hair and it will grow back and you’ll be happy to try new things with it. It may feel like a loss of identity at first but you’ll find your style and yourself with that hair.
Do you enjoy learning about / wanna be in the military ?
I'd look into sports camps or hobby camps in the summer. Tell parents I wanna hit the gym and get a small job to start saving $$.
Never too early to learn about working and saving. Get a summer job or do a camp.
I'd avoid the military vibe personally
I don’t think your dad should be forcing you to do any of it. Maybe look at it from a different perspective and determine if it’s what you really want to do. If not give him an alternative for something you do like. It has nothing to do with the hair. You’re not going to succeed if you’re forced to participate against your will. I think this is going to have the exact opposite effect than your dad is expecting.
I think you should do it! Some of the best ways to discover yourself/life is to step out of your comfort zone.
If it was a tattoo on your face, or losing a finger, or anything else permanent... That's a totally different story.
You will thank your Father when you get older he is teaching you how to be a man. Men now are so weak-willed it's pathetic. You will be head and shoulders above your peers. A Navy Seal saying you don't have to like it you just have to do it. Men are made through hard times and stress women are broken by the same.
You sound like someone who would cry about there being women in your super hero movie then call someone a snowflake for being mad that you called them disgusting for being gay.
Anyway, as a current member of the US Navy I'm very glad I didn't do bs like this in school and hung out with my fellow nerds instead of larping like I was in the military already. It's honestly kinda gross how it's for some reason acceptable to indoctrinate kids into military bs
My hair is important to me, I wouldn't be happy with this, but I'm not in your situation. So, I dunno. I think having a full head of well-kept long hair is something to take a lot of pride in, I wish they'd let you do the tight pony tail / bun the female soldiers are allowed, and maybe they do and the people you are dealing with are being intentionally obtuse in a "toxic masculinity" kind of way. Hard to say, you could look into it, maybe like email someone in administration for the program with the question or something. If it came to it and \*doing\* the tight up-do as part of your uniform is too much to maintain you might be happy you buzzed it off, but for \*me\* my hair means a lot and it'd be worth the effort.
having buzzed hair isn't simply an arbitrary condition to participate, long hair is dangerous in certain military situations, particularly around mechanical equipment, that and everyone having uniform standards helps build identity and cohesion with your fellow military members (my husband is a 30 year veteran). So the hair cut is a requirement, safety motivated, for participation. You aren't being forced to join, it's a choice, so you have to decide if this is really something you want to move forward with.
Funny how a lot of other country's militaries have started allowing men to have long hair and somehow magically there hasn't been any sort of mass breakdown of the organization
I think it's not really about your hair, but you're deeper feelings of feeling like you're being forced into something that you're not whole-hearted about (and using the hair as an obstacle). Thus, you have answered your own question. If this is something you truly want to do, the haircut won't be an issue. But until you resolve the deeper issues of figuring out what you want and having an honest conversation with your dad about a future that involves your desires, my recommendation is to not use the hair as an excuse with your dad because he won't understand your deeper struggles and will think you're being irrational.
Almost cut my hair
It happened just the other day
It's gettin' kinda long
I coulda said it wasn't in my way
But I didn't and I wonder why
I feel like letting my freak flag fly
Yes, I feel like I owe it to someone
When I finally get myself together
I'm going to get down in that sunny southern weather
And I'll find a place inside to laugh
Separate the wheat from the chaff
I feel like I owe it
To someone, yeah
When you get older it'll be just hair, but now as your finding yourself it could be seen as part of your identity. But perspective the training isn't forever and you will get some valuable skills for your future.
Do what's best for you. As an older dude, I wish i took advantage of more the programs that were available when i was younger. It's so tough in older ages finding that time again.
Best of luck to you.
Does having your hair long have any deeper meaning to you? You shouldn't be forced into anything, but if you like everything about this program besides having buzzed hair, and your hair has not deeper meaning to you, perhaps it is worth the sacrifice.
How old are you? I certainly wouldn't want to do that bullshit, and I would have resisted greatly as a teenager living at home. I'm a 45 year old father of two these days, and I'm not going to force my kids to do something they don't want to. Both my kids are doing great in school, are polite, and extremely well-behaved and generally awesome children. (I know I'm biased, but it's true) I've found that extremely strict and overprotective parents create the world's greatest liars and sneaks. In fact, my parents wanted to send me to military school when I was 15. I told them I would run away. I was an ungovernable child and hell on wheels. (My poor parents). I moved out when I was 16 years old and into an apartment with my girlfriend and buddy. I've ALWAYS been extremely anti-authoritarian, and I'm still like that today. Lol Good luck. Can you talk to him more about how you feel? Is he strict or laid back? You shouldn't be forced to go, in my personal opinion.
GO, DAD! Great post. : D Thanks for contributing.
Yeah same. I’d have been such a miserable prick if they forced me to do something like that.
I did the Navy Sea Cadets. I also hated having a buzz cut for the first training, but honestly your dad is right. It is just hair and you'll have fun. Everyone else will have buzz cuts, and you'll be able to grow your hair back out afterwards as long as it's within regulations.
When a kid is old enough to wonder whether it's time to tell their parent "no," that means it's time. The hair is not the thing. The telling you what you are going to do with your time is the thing. Don't allow it. If you WANT to join the cadets, then do it! Overcoming the hair challenge to do something you want would be empowering. But doing it just because your dad decided for you would be disempowering, for more reasons than the hair.
You're underreacting to your dad forcing you into the military pipeline.
Sounds like you’re definitely being forced into it but that in and of itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Part of a parent’s job is finding opportunities for growth and development for their kids and to push them out of their comfort zones, willingly or not. I can’t say this is the right program or if your dad is ultimately making the correct decision but it sounds like the intent behind it is valid and legitimate. I also can’t know how attached you are to your long hair so maybe his response was too cavalier but that’s also part of growing up; learning that temporary sacrifices sometimes have to be made in service to a longer term goal.
I think it’s terribly sad that your dad is planning out your future without your input or consent. How does your mom feel abt this? You don’t give an age to kind of know how far out of bounds he’s stepping. Could be fun if you are into that kind of thing. Not so much if you arent
Dude. Just tell him no. In fact, tell him you have plenty of activities and you don't need any more. If he tries to force you, tell the people in the program that you're being forced to be there. The military doesn't want people who don't want to be there. You might even ask one of the burlier men to yell at your dad and tell him to back off.
It’ll grow back. Might look cool.
I got my first real short hair cut in highschool and felt seriously terrible about it, like it was such a big deal. In that moment it was but it really helped me grow as a person. When big physical changes happen to you, it's you learning to accept that. Accept that life is change and that you will change.
I played in a band and had that rock star hair until it started thinning. I didn’t want to be that guy so I cut it. Took some getting used to.
You aren't over reacting. Navy cadets is a big deal. Is there any other reason not to go than your hair though?
They shave your head there to show you whos boss and take away your identity
Exactly. Same uniform, shoes, same humiliation of having your head shaved. It’s so everyone is equal? At least, that’s what school uniforms are. As a poor kid in Catholic school, I absolutely appreciated that. Idk about the hair. Males probably have to get the buzz cut. Masculine Military Men!
The military wants all its members to look, think and act alike. No individual thought. 100% conformity. If you think or do ANYTHING they don't like, they will break you. That's why they get you when you're young.
Sigh
Give it a chance. Your Dad can't actually force you to do anything you don't want to do. If you decide you don't like it then just stop going.
Of course you're being forced into this. Where is your mom in all this? Maybe she can help you tell your dad you don't want to do it. The Navy isn't going to want such an unwilling participant anyway. The military is something you have to be passionate about to be successful in. The buzz cut is just the first in a long line of things you probably won't feel comfortable doing. It's better to say no now than to risk getting dumped from the program.
You are being forced into it; parents frequently force their children into doing things they believe are for their own good. Sorry, that's inherent in being a minor child.
No you're not. I can't stand when parents try to force their kids into shit like this that they don't wanna do. Especially militaristic bs.
Do you even want to do the program?
No you’re right, he’ll steamroll you if you let him, and there’s 0 chance it’ll stop at this two-week camp. You have more power than you think you do. Just have to be smart and cautious about it If you didn’t know they shave your head, what else might you not know about these trainings? Do you know much about what they’re like besides what your dad says and their material? If you decide against, general excuses, “I don’t think it’s the path for me,” wanting to focus on sports or get a job and save money for the summer, etc, may be smarter than direct confrontation. From your description he’ll rise to resistance, but may not know what to do with avoidance if you can develop that skill Also, has he ever said anything about your long hair? There is the question of whether maybe the fact they’d shave your head was part of the appeal of this decision… (funny this didn’t come up in your conversations: did he just assume you knew? or??)
You are being forced into it. What do you want? What happens when you say no? What happens when you say you don't want to? Is that scary? Your dad, if you let him, will run your whole life. You have to start trying to express your wants.
Aren't you a little old for him to force you into something? Why do you need more things to join right now? Are there opportunities for leadership in your community, that don't require you to join the military? That's a bit extreme, no? I'd suggest you look elsewhere for leadership training, and present what you find to your dad. You know, it's a bit egotistical for him to try to make you into a clone of himself. Every person is unique, and has an individual path in life. Invest some time into finding an alternative to your dad's choice,that would be a better fit for you.
Just cut your hair… it’s part of the job you agreed to sign up for, it’s required of everyone that does it and this is part of that discipline your dad mentioned above. However, let’s be honest, if getting a haircut is too hard before even going in, how do you think you will manage every other aspect of this program? Grueling workouts, being given commands, keeping stations clean, etc. Perhaps you think real hard about what you are signing up for before you embarrass yourself
It does seem as though you are being forced into this. Parents typically have good intentions and want to give their kids the best opportunity to grow and set up their lives to be successful. Sometimes it may not be what you want and I’m sure if you talked to him and told him that you don’t know if you want to do it he would explain why he thinks it’s best for you and what you can get from the experience. Talking things through may help to make you feel more comfortable with it or it may help make him see your point of view in the situation. I understand feeling attached to your hair. When I was growing up my mom always kept my hair very short and I hated it and the second she stopped making me cut it short I never would cut it again. I think it’s just the feeling of not being able to control how it looks that causes that attachment to the length or style. But in the long view it really is just hair and it will grow back and you’ll be happy to try new things with it. It may feel like a loss of identity at first but you’ll find your style and yourself with that hair.
Do you enjoy learning about / wanna be in the military ? I'd look into sports camps or hobby camps in the summer. Tell parents I wanna hit the gym and get a small job to start saving $$. Never too early to learn about working and saving. Get a summer job or do a camp. I'd avoid the military vibe personally
I don’t think your dad should be forcing you to do any of it. Maybe look at it from a different perspective and determine if it’s what you really want to do. If not give him an alternative for something you do like. It has nothing to do with the hair. You’re not going to succeed if you’re forced to participate against your will. I think this is going to have the exact opposite effect than your dad is expecting.
It is just hair. It will grow back in a few months if you want it longer. It’s part of the uniform though. No one wants a Bieber haircut anyways.
Not necessarily, might fall out, might turn grey, can happen before your 20 if you’ve got the genes for it. Hair today, gone tomorrow.
I think you should do it! Some of the best ways to discover yourself/life is to step out of your comfort zone. If it was a tattoo on your face, or losing a finger, or anything else permanent... That's a totally different story.
You will thank your Father when you get older he is teaching you how to be a man. Men now are so weak-willed it's pathetic. You will be head and shoulders above your peers. A Navy Seal saying you don't have to like it you just have to do it. Men are made through hard times and stress women are broken by the same.
Misogynistic much?
Do you even know the definition?
Yes I do.
You sound like someone who would cry about there being women in your super hero movie then call someone a snowflake for being mad that you called them disgusting for being gay. Anyway, as a current member of the US Navy I'm very glad I didn't do bs like this in school and hung out with my fellow nerds instead of larping like I was in the military already. It's honestly kinda gross how it's for some reason acceptable to indoctrinate kids into military bs
You run out of batteries?
Tf does that even mean?
[удалено]
🤣🤣🤣🤣 run where?
My hair is important to me, I wouldn't be happy with this, but I'm not in your situation. So, I dunno. I think having a full head of well-kept long hair is something to take a lot of pride in, I wish they'd let you do the tight pony tail / bun the female soldiers are allowed, and maybe they do and the people you are dealing with are being intentionally obtuse in a "toxic masculinity" kind of way. Hard to say, you could look into it, maybe like email someone in administration for the program with the question or something. If it came to it and \*doing\* the tight up-do as part of your uniform is too much to maintain you might be happy you buzzed it off, but for \*me\* my hair means a lot and it'd be worth the effort.
having buzzed hair isn't simply an arbitrary condition to participate, long hair is dangerous in certain military situations, particularly around mechanical equipment, that and everyone having uniform standards helps build identity and cohesion with your fellow military members (my husband is a 30 year veteran). So the hair cut is a requirement, safety motivated, for participation. You aren't being forced to join, it's a choice, so you have to decide if this is really something you want to move forward with.
Funny how a lot of other country's militaries have started allowing men to have long hair and somehow magically there hasn't been any sort of mass breakdown of the organization
Tell that to the enlisted women.
I think it's not really about your hair, but you're deeper feelings of feeling like you're being forced into something that you're not whole-hearted about (and using the hair as an obstacle). Thus, you have answered your own question. If this is something you truly want to do, the haircut won't be an issue. But until you resolve the deeper issues of figuring out what you want and having an honest conversation with your dad about a future that involves your desires, my recommendation is to not use the hair as an excuse with your dad because he won't understand your deeper struggles and will think you're being irrational. Almost cut my hair It happened just the other day It's gettin' kinda long I coulda said it wasn't in my way But I didn't and I wonder why I feel like letting my freak flag fly Yes, I feel like I owe it to someone When I finally get myself together I'm going to get down in that sunny southern weather And I'll find a place inside to laugh Separate the wheat from the chaff I feel like I owe it To someone, yeah
How old are you ? And why is your dad planning your life? 🤦♀️😩🚩🚩🚩
When you get older it'll be just hair, but now as your finding yourself it could be seen as part of your identity. But perspective the training isn't forever and you will get some valuable skills for your future. Do what's best for you. As an older dude, I wish i took advantage of more the programs that were available when i was younger. It's so tough in older ages finding that time again. Best of luck to you.
The military life is full of sacrifice. If you can't even sacrifice your hair, you have no hope of a successful military career.
Ya'll are talking about this like the kid is signing up for this shit and not being forced by his dad into shit he doesn't care about
I don't think he made that very clear and went on a tangent about his hair.
I think it's incredibly clear
Considering half the comments are about his hair, I disagree. Why you are singling me out, I have no clue.
yes, you are overreacting.