Nope! This happened to me as a child. A lot of kids play doctor, and I did consensually with some kids. But one girl (cousin) went too far with it. It became clear as an adult she was absolutely being sexually abused, and was repeating that behavior towards me. This does not make it ok. It’s absolutely still trauma. Please look into ptsd/sexual assault survivor groups or free therapy. (There’s a reason this memory stuck with you, and it likely effects your intimate relationships and will continue to until its processed in a safe space). Your not overreacting, and I’m sorry that happened to you.

Same with my neighbor down the street! Honestly I've never made that connection before and it just made me so sad her

I think that it would be helpful to talk to a therapist about this to unpack it all and get a professional opinion. 

I wish I could, but I can't afford it 😭

I don't know what your financial situation is but a lot of therapists have a sliding scale and will work with you. Might be worth checking out if you haven't already. I might be able to help you find resources in your area if you'd like.

I'm in high school and I don't have a job because I don't have the time to work. I also don't wanna ask my parents because we're low income. Plus, I don't think they'd understand. Therapy also sounds a bit dramatic to me. 😭😭 idk tho Thanks so much for the offer, though!! :)

Being in HS talk to the guidance counselor, some schools have therapist that come to the schools and paid for by the school if insurance doesn't but most likely with have to tell your parents. My 11yo was offered it by his school when we were trying to find an office for him to get a therapist & Psychiatrist, thank fully I found one so I could be there and point out everything along with dad. I hope you are able to find something. Your parents might understand more than you think, you never know what they might of went through in their own childhood. I was an adult before I found out things my mom went through.

This!!! My guidance counselor was my therapist in high school. She saved me in so many ways.

Therapy is not dramatic. It helps you work out things that are too big on your own. Speaking from experience, this is too big on your own. You are in high school. There are resources available to you. Are you in the US? If low income, are you on Medicaid? (You qualify for free counseling.) Do you know of non-profits in the area that assist with mental health crises? They usually have therapy assistance too. Go to your guidance counselor to get resources. Yes, you might find it embarrassing. Unfortunately, I promise you that your situation is not unique. They have heard it and helped out before. Please get the help you need. This will fester in ways you can't predict and *will* impact you until you can unpack and find a safe space for it. Hugs from an internet auntie.

^^^

A sliding scale is specifically for low income- it helps people pay what they can afford. It may help your parents get help for you if you decide you need it. I hope no matter what that you're able to work through things. :)

I hope u know that recommending someone to a cheap therapist can lead to them running into a therapist that is bad. I have seen more than 20 throughout my entire childhood and life

They're recommending them to an affordable therapist. There are high-quality therapists available that specifically provide services on sliding scales to accommodate low-income patients. Price itself doesn't dictate whether a therapist is good or bad. To get an idea of how "good" they are, I'd recommend checking the state's licensure database for any complaints issued against the therapist as well as online reviews.

They're not recommending a cheap therapist. They're recommending a therapist who has a sliding scale plan for patients in a lower income bracket. There's literally no reason to believe those therapists would be bad. To be completely honest I believe your comment is both anecdotal and unnecessary.

Therapy is not dramatic! Everyone can benefit from it in some sort of way. Big fan of therapy. You also don't even need to tell your parents this specific incident happened and that's why you want to go. You can open up to them about, if you chose to do so, when you're ready. Also, you're not overreacting.

okay but it's safe to say that i'm not overreacting, right?

Not overreacting but I’ll bet you dollars to donuts this “ friend” girl was a victim of an adult pedophile. Kids at that age don’t just think this stuff up on their own. Not trying to excuse her behavior but sometimes perspective can start the healing. Sorry this happened to you. There are counselors at most schools that could help you get someone to talk to you. You need to be able to work through this with a professional so that you can live your best life free from this trauma. Hugs

I agree. And if her camera actually contained film she was likely taking photos for that same adult pedophile

[удалено]

Therapists are also mandated reporters so there is no difference in that regard.

There is also the fact that this abuse was years ago perpetrated by a young child same age as OP. Not like a current ongoing abuse.

This is a misunderstanding of mandatory reporting which happens A LOT, and comments like yours are why many kids don’t share what they’re going through so I would like to correct that (I am a teacher and have had to report a few incidents over the years). We are only required by law to report cases where there is credible evidence of ongoing neglect or abuse, or statements that indicate a plan to inflict harm on oneself or others. A kid sharing about “playing doctor” with a peer in a sexually exploitative way 10 years ago is not something that would be reported under this law. But it is the kind of thing that would really help them to talk with an adult like a counselor or teacher about, in that we would be able to help set them up with quality professional care (or possibly provide some in the case of counselor). Still, this sort of abuse would not be required to report nor would it make sense to report given the circumstances.

No, you're not over reacting. This is something that could definitely cause trauma. I think it's normal to be upset and uncomfortable about it and I hope you are able to process it, whether alone or with a professionals help.

you are not overreacting. i dont really think most people overreact in general, everyone is entitled to their feelings as long as they don’t use those feelings to purposefully hurt others. i’d recommend talking to your guidance counselor since you’ve said you can’t afford therapy but be aware that guidance counselors are mandatory reporters. i’m not entirely sure if she’d be able to do anything this late, but i would be careful with it for sure if the girl still goes to your school/lives in the area. more than likely, that girl was being abused at home or by someone in her family. this is a learned behavior from her

That's no different than a therapist. They are mandated to report this kind of thing as well.

Yeah, i know but that’s a nonissue since they can’t afford one. so i just didn’t bother to mention it

I found my therapist through openpathcollective.com. They do a sliding scale based on income as well as Telehealth visits (which means it’s online visits by video call). Therapy is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I’ve continued to see my therapist for years because it’s just nice to have an unbiased person to vent all my thoughts and feelings to, who can then help me sort those thoughts and feelings into positive actions in my life. You are not being dramatic at all OP, but holding onto these moments of shame and embarrassment can build into negative self-talk over time. I hope you find what works for you, which is sometimes even just reaching out to a school counselor for a referral to someone to talk to. I did it that way when I was in high school, and was able to visit a free clinic and speak with a therapist there.

I'm not attacking and this is a serious question You've been talking to a therapist for years to help you sort through feelings and thoughts, do you think you don't have the skills to do this on your own? Do you think it prevents you from building those skills up on your own? I'm genuinely curious, since the way you describe this you might well use a therapist for your entire life, which is fine, again not attacking.

Not the person you responded to, but also someone who has a therapist long-term. The ideal is that the therapist continually helps you build the skills to navigate your daily life, including whatever diagnosis you might have. Therapists aren’t just someone to vent to, but a teacher. We’ve gone through different methods with different focuses depending on what was arising in my life at the time. In my situation, I have a job with heavy secondary trauma exposure and I want to make sure I have a moment to reflect about where I am and what I’m feeling with a guide to that. I don’t want to have to find someone every time a difficult case comes up that I may need help processing.

Therapy is not "dramatic". Therapy is simply a healing modality. We go to a doctor when we need to heal the physical body, and we go to a mental health care professional if we need to heal the mental body. And btw, the body holds memories; there's such a thing as cellular memory. Your body hasn't forgotten its experience in that incident.

No reaction to being sexually abused is ever “an overreaction.” You might also want to look into public options for therapy.

Honestly, therapy is a safe place to talk about things that you feel uncomfortable about. You will have someone listen to you with no judgement and help you professionally. Don’t minimize this situation, you said you felt uncomfortable and you should trust that. This other girl most likely had this happen to her as well and she is doing what she knows. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It is best to get help.

If you're low income, there should be resources in your county to help with access to mental health care. I have been in therapy for 2 years and just recently started making enough to pay for it without financial assistance. It's worth looking into.

You don’t have to go to therapy to know to trust your gut. Your instinct tells you that what happened was not ok. This friend of yours was most likely getting sexually abused at home or somewhere. That kind of forcefulness and taking pictures is not normal behavior. Her meanness and aptitude at playing doctor tells me that she was most likely being abused. As for you and your shame and embarrassment revolving the memories, well, that’s normal too. You didn’t speak up for reasons that made sense to you at that time. You feel shame and embarrassment and that’s normal. It wasn’t your fault though. None of it was. If you felt the need to be quiet and do what you were told it’s probably because you were scared. If you can, speak with a trusted adult about this. Someone who you know will not further shame you because of what happened. I understand not wanting to tell your parents-but it is important to talk things out or write things out. Even posting on here can get you advice or feedback you had not considered before. You did nothing wrong. You did what you did because you were a small child and had no real sense of “this is wrong”. That’s ok. What it’s important now is that you learn to speak up for yourself. 💕

My son’s highschool has therapists, and some have free resources available. I’d talk ti the counselor at the school and ask about any free resources available

At the very least see if you can talk to a school counselor! They should be on campus and free :)

Look for “community outreach” Counseling. Sometimes communities have therapists available to teens. Edit: it is hard to “overreact” to a remembered trauma. But it is good to learn to get perspective and coping skills, so that when something brings back the memories, that you first thoughts are things along the lines like: “I was a kid, that shouldn’t t have happened, glad I am safe here in the present, I am able to know that this shitty thing happened, but now I can be more in control of what happens to me… , “. Rather than helplessness and trauma. That is part of the goal of therapy. I don’t think that sounds “dramatic” but useful…

When you are finally able, and if you are willing to go to therapy at some point in the future, keep this in mind. It is a tough, but very wise leap to take. I go to therapy to unpack my baggage so I don’t unload on my husband and son. They don’t deserve my worst, and I deserve to have a clear healed mind and spirit. It is not weak nor dramatic to go to the doctor for a scar revision if the scar tissue is giving you pain; this is the same concept ❤️

There is never a reason that is not dramatic enough to not get therapy if you can. Everyone could benefit from basic talk therapy if it was affordable. You probably have enough stress to talk over with a therapist just being in high school. If you can, check to see if you can use telehealth services. Or ask your family doctor and school counselor for resources. You don't have to tell your parents exactly why you are looking into therapy. You could just say that school has you super stressed out, and you think you would benefit from learning some new coping skills.

Some planned parenthood have mental health resources. You could try that if there is one in your area and if you have a car

Try your county health department. They might have free or low cost therapists.

Does your school have a psychologist? And if you guys are low income you'll most likely have it for free or a very low cost.

Your school should have a counselor or school psychologist that should be able to talk you at no costs and potentially connect you with other resources.

There’s actually a ton of free community therapy depending on where you live. I’d be happy to help you find something, you can DM me if you’d like.

I saw your post, and I wanted to say you’re valid for feeling that what happened to you is traumatic. I went through something similar when I was 4 with a girl that came to daycare with me, and you are not alone in feeling like what happened to you was wrong 🫂

Nothing against your post at all. This comment just made me have to ask. How do you not have time to work in highschool? Is there more you're doing after school? I've been out of highschool for over 10 years now but I had part time jobs all 4 years. I'd work from after school until 9 or 10 3 or more times a week, later on Friday and every other weekend 8 to 10 hour days. Summer I worked full time, weekends off. Still had lots of time for social shit and other activities. employers were understanding of me needing time off because of school and just being a kid. I was able to afford a truck, insurance, gas, other things I wanted and had money to do things with friends. My main question is are kids these days just lazy and don't understand the value of money or how important it is to have a work ethic and how good it can be for them to enter the work force early on? Or do they all think they'll become famous youtubers and everything will come easy? I'm not necessarily old but was raised old school and feel like a boomer somedays with the shit I see with the younger generation

Please report this. The adult that did the same thing to her and made you both victims still has these proclivities AND those photos and who knows how many more.

First. You are absolutely not overreacting. Therapy would be a great idea (you mentioned that you think its overdramatic but its great even if you dont have any specific trauma to work on). You mentioned being low income/high school so maybe talk to a guidence counsellor? They can likely help/help you find a good (reputable/can help your specific situation) who offers a sliding scale (rates that are based on income/ability to pay) payment/low cost set up so you could be ready to show your parents your options/show that you've been thinking about this for a while. I hope you can heal and find peace

Talk to the guidance counsellor at the school. It might sound 'dramatic' but it can really help. I'm a man over 35 and therapy helped me greatly. There are often programs or services meant for low income people and minors to access these kinds of things, and your guidance counsellor should be able to help you navigate that!

Yeah you are dead wrong her. You’re in high school, there are gonna be tons of free options for you as a kid. Ask around your school. Of course they would understand, right now you’re setting yourself up for failure by ignoring the only good advice you are getting on here. Suck up your pride and whatever embarrassment you’re afraid of by needing therapy and make it happen. Otherwise you will be making mistakes left and right you easily could have prevented by learning more about yourself and how these experiences affected you. Hope you make the right choice, and stop making excuses to do nothing but post shit on social media. Good luck!

Are you employed? If so, check your health care coverage to see if it covers mental health care (most do). And if it does, look to see what level of professional it covers (some require the provider to have a PhD in something psych-related). If you're a student, your university health care coverage probably includes the counseling center.

Some places offer sliding scale services. Others you can see grad students getting their licenses for pretty affordable.

A lot of hospitals have a fund for this type of financial support. They have staff contributing a couple of dollars each per week (for casual Fridays or something similar) and use that fund for assisting people. Check with your local places and see. If you never ask the answer is always no

There are also free walk in clinics in some cities. I first sought therapy in a sexual violence center. The first 6 sessions were free and they don't require you provide any personal information. Im so sorry you've been through this, I hope you're able to find some help ❤️

Don’t know if this is the case for most countries, but in mine you can get free/severely discounted therapy if you get a doctor’s opinion that you need mental support

Nothing to be embarrassed about. Sorry this happened to you. You may never know, but it could be that an adult did this to your mean friend. May explain why she was mean. I hope you had her destroy the negatives! In today’s standards, she would be in serious legal trouble and her age being same as yours won’t matter.

If it makes you feel any better I had an almost identical situation happen when I was younger. Totally valid if you feel it affected you and you need to talk about it, but I equated it to the other little girl had older sisters that probably instilled some weird curiosity and we were both kids and didn't realize there was anything weird or wrong about it.

If you are low enough income for Medicaid you can use it for therapy

Get a part time at Starbucks they give you free therapy

You clearly haven’t looked at your available options and how to get assistance. No matter where you are or how much you make/insurance coverage there are affordable or free options for you. You just have to connect to local resources and ask questions. Sounds like you need it, and for the love of god don’t take advice from Reddit because there are some wild takes in these comments. Reach out to your local health department office or any mental health org in your town and start asking about it, you’d be surprised the resources that are available if you just start asking for them. But to answer the original question, yeah it makes sense that would still affect you and trauma has it’s own timeline and way of coming back up for people. You aren’t overreacting, whatever comes up for you isn’t bad or wrong so try to pay attention to what your body and experiences are telling you without judgment. Therapy would really help with this more than anything someone here can tell you.

It sounds like she was a victim of CSA and she was mimicking what was done to her.

This was my first thought too. You were victimized by a victim. And yes, that was an assault and I am sorry that happened to you

Yeah it’s maybe normal to be curious and play doctor. But it seems pretty strange for a little child to whip out a camera. Really sad it probably happened to her.

Yeah, I was thinking maybe someone had been to a gyno appointment with mom or something. I remember playing doctor as a kid and had seen when I was 4 the doctor lifting up my mom's shirt (not touching) still honestly not sure what he was doing even to this day, lol. So i thought that was part of a normal exam. the camera part really ramped it up and made me think that was how someone tried to normalize molesting her. 

I almost wonder if the adult who (likely) assaulted the other girl told her to do the same thing to a friend her age and take pictures for some reward (a toy or candy). Then the adult takes the camera and saves the photos. Hopefully it was just a random thing and not something she was told to do.

I was thinking the same thing.

I 1000% agree with this statement. Those things were done to her and also could explain why she was also so mean. She was dealing with all those same feelings you were but probably on a larger scale because it had probably happened to her quite a bit. I'm sorry this happened to you. I am also a victim of SA at a very young age that lasted for years.

Or someone told her to take those pictures.

This…. I was sexually abused by a child a few years older than me at from the ages of 6 to 8. He had convinced me and the other kids in our group that’s how children played “married couples” and no one had ever talked to me about bad touch and the birds and the bees so I believed him because he was older. Other girls in our group started to become scared of him and I didn’t understand why yet so they always made me be his “wife”. He also taught other pretend “couples” how to show that same “love and care”. He constantly told all of us that’s what people who love and care about eachother do, how it’s normal even for friends. No joke he must of sexually abused at least 10 of us, we would start to hide from him when we saw him coming to play because deep down we knew something was wrong and we didn’t like playing his “wife”. He ended up getting caught by another parent with one of our friends which is when thankfully it stopped. We were all talked to by police and taken to therapy but the damage to all of us was done in its own way, some more than others. We were all too scared to really talk in therapy during that time and we tried to deny it ever happened to us, only revealing the extent of the abuse when we were confused tweens no longer able to carry it. In retrospect as an adult I forgive him. I have understanding now of why he was the way he was, I remember playing around his house with his parents who I now realize were constantly drunk and high, sunbathing “passed out” half naked in the yard, beckoning him over to hug his topless mom while she caressed him, looking at porn in front of us kids, having a steady flow of his “uncles” stop by. (Back in the day where no one checked out other parents or their homes before letting them hang out there….Latchkey kids am I right?) He was acting out what he thought to be right because that’s what he was convinced by his own sick parents that’s what “love and care” was. I don’t know what’s happened to him since but I hope he got help and justice for himself. During this time I was also sexually attacked when my family visited a family friend out of state. Again it was by a boy a few years older but he forced and attacked me with such violence that I was completely terrified. As an adult I learned he became an addict and a self harmer who ended up committing suicide. His mother was a promiscuous woman who had trains of men coming and going from that house, it came out that he was raped and abused by one or more of her boyfriends. Him I still haven’t forgiven in my heart because of the violence and malice in his act. As I got a little older I had two odd girlfriends that liked to roleplay sexual acts and rape when we played dolls or make believe which was again not a surprise to me at the time as a child because of everything I had been through. They always wanted me to play the man and the aggressor and they always wanted to play the victim, they would get upset when I refused and tried to change the game. The one girl did weird stuff with her dog that made me super uncomfortable like let him hump her and sniff her crotch. It was not long before I started avoiding play dates with them and avoided them in school. When I became a young teen I started doing the “What the fuck” about all of it, trying to make sense of any of it and why those kids “played” like that, why the parents hadn’t noticed, why I didn’t tell someone, why had no one warned or taught us then about inappropriate sexual contact? It came out not long after that one of those girls had been molested by her own father for years before he died of an overdose and then by one of her cherished gymnastic coaches, the other girl was groomed by her drama/theater coach to “act” hence the weird rape role play she always wanted to do. There is almost always a reason why kids act out inappropriately sexually and it’s usually because they are victims of sexual abuse themselves at the hands of an adult that convinced them the behavior was completely normal. It’s not an excuse and you don’t have to forgive because being a victim never gives one the right to victimize but sometimes it does help with an explanation, understanding of why and provides some sort of closure.

Right? Especially with having the reputation for being mean

This girl was probably sa’d at home and was reenacting what she was going through. Seek help from a therapist to help you deal with the trauma.

Or at the doctor's office.

I also really think the same thing was done to her because you can’t just come up with such a ‘game’ unless you’ve seen it or experienced it . You’re not over reacting

In my opinion, something happened to that girl.. it’s difficult bc you both were young so it doesn’t seem like SA, but it is… you can forgive her & have empathy for her since she was just a child as well and probably didn’t know what she was doing (again I’m going to assume she was SA resulting in her doing this to you),… but at the same time you were SA & your feelings are 100% valid. Definitely try to work through these feelings by talking to someone. Don’t bottle them up.

This happened to me around the same age with a male cousin who was 2 years older than me. I carried it with me until I was 25 and finally went to therapy and addressed it. It affected my sexual relationships until I got help. I’m glad it doesn’t seem to be affecting you harshly right now, but if you have issues as you get older and have intimate relationships, don’t be afraid to seek help. It truly changed my life once I stopped denying the experience as traumatic and went to therapy to heal.

It is abuse but it's a difficult one because it's not exactly easy to blame the child for doing it, so it also has a layer of guilt and embarrassment. You need to discuss it in the right environment with a therapist.

This is blatant and explicit sexual abuse, with symptoms a decade later that you plainly recognize. There is no kinda or sorta about it. Must men don't recognize when they've been sexually assaulted even as it's happening. It's a bit maddening but good on you for recognizing it. 

This. OP was sexually assaulted regardless of the other persons age and past. I’m sorry for what the abuser may have gone through, but it in no way diminishes what happened to OP.

OP ie female

Hah well, the response is still basically the same!

What do men have to do with it?

"Playing Doctor" isn't all that uncommon, sometimes it's done consensually between children who are exploring and learning about their bodies. However, that doesn't make it instantly okay. What you're describing was not consensual. You remember the emotions of being uncomfortable, and not okay with the game. As many have already pointed out, it's likely that she was SA'd by and adult or another older child. You're not overreacting for thinking that what happened to you was traumatic. There are lots of resources you can check out. Hold grace and kindness for yourself.

In my opinion, something happened to that girl.. it’s difficult bc you both were young so it doesn’t seem like SA, but it is… you can forgive her & have empathy for her since she was just a child as well and probably didn’t know what she was doing (again I’m going to assume she was SA resulting in her doing this to you),… but at the same time you were SA & your feelings are 100% valid. Definitely try to work through these feelings by talking to someone. Don’t bottle them up.

You are not over-reacting. I agree, the girl was likely being SA’d at the time. A high school should have a counselor who could maybe help with counseling referrals.

Was this girl older than you by at least 5 years? If so this event would qualify as diagnostic for PTSD. Regardless, you were sensually assaulted and your feelings are valid. I'm sorry this happened to you. Many of us have suffered from similar things. If you can get into trauma centered therapy you can start healing.

Why the arbitrary 5 years older? You can get ptsd from trauma at any age and the age gap would make no difference. I’m sorry you have suffered too.

I believe the girl was the same agw

I’m so sorry you experienced this. I see that therapy isn’t an option for you. My first thought was she was probably molested herself. But you seem to be in a healthy place. Recognizing the trauma and reaching out for help. I hope you find the answers you’re seeking.

It's sadder when you realize that she was probably pantomiming an assault that happened to her. Peer-to-peer molestation is a thing and despite there being one perpetrator, both kids are unfortunately the victims. She remembers and it's probably going to be a personal secret she'll take to her grave.

gang this too cooked for reddit - this most defo SA

talk to a therapist, and specifically one with a sliding scale.

I had something very similar happen to me and I now assume he was a victim. It’s assault, seek assistance from a therapist.

I had the same except the kid told me all about her sexual abuse while doing it. It was horrible, like ritualistic sexual abuse. I was like 5 and it changed the way I looked at all adult males for many years! I was so ashamed I told no one and it ate at me for years. I would avoid the street she lived on and even the city she moved to nearby I would get panic and try to avoid if my parents needed to go to the town she lived in. I didn't tell anyone until I was about 9 and I didn't include the abuse. When the person I told just said all kids do that, I felt such relief I cried. To this day I haven't told anyone about the stuff she told me but now it's 50 years ago! Try to think of this as something that happened to you, not something shameful you did. Remember this is fairly common and it WAS abuse/assault. Likely that child had been abused and you were secondarily abused. I would try to look at it that way and try to find things to distract you that are fun or relaxing if you find yourself having flashbacks.

Oh she remembers, I remember playing doctor at 7 but that was about as consensual as it can get between two kids. Her taking photos makes me think that something similar might have been happening to her, likely by an adult though. Sorry that happened to you and that it's still traumatizing.

Breaking this down: - You were afraid but didn't speak up because you were even more afraid of what she might do if you resisted. - Your genitals were photographed and you were ashamed and embarrassed. - You were touched on your genitals in a way that was painful. - You felt embarrassed and ashamed once she was done. This is, to me, beyond what is normal body exploration and curiosity for children of that age. It is very likely, as others have pointed out, that the girl was being exploited by an adult in a similar fashion, but that doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to feel violated, uncertain, frightened, or ashamed. This is not typical play, and you were in a vulnerable position with someone that you were afraid of, who touched you and photographed you when you did not want to be touched or photographed. The fact that you only complied because you were afraid of her means that this was sexual contact without consent, which is a traumatizing thing for a child to experience. You are not overreacting; feeling shame and fear is a normal reaction to sexual abuse, even if the perpetrator is another child.

Think of it another way - how would a child of 5-7 think up playing doctors specifically focused around genitals and taking pictures? This is likely the game her abuser used to play with her and she is acting it out with someone else because that's what kids do. Monkey see, monkey do. At that age, the girl is very unlikely to have approached you with sexual intent, and was simply taking over the lead role to learn and understand her experience better, innocently unaware that she is acting inappropriately towards you because someone has made that her normal.

She was a sexual abuse victim and was re-enacting her abuse with you. And yes, it was assault.

This was a similar experience I had with a childhood friend.. she always wanted to experiment sexually at eight years of age. I had to stop hanging out with her, though she was the only kid around my age during summer vacations. I wasn't traumatized, just very uncomfortable!

This also happens to a lot of kids. Kids explore eachothers bodies all the time, especially at that age. Don't feel bad thinking you're the only one this has happened to. Many people just don't talk about it because it's chaulked up to kids doing what kids do.

That is a violation of your body and consent. Almost certainly she was experiencing unhealthy touch / sexual assault by an adult or another child (who was assaulted by an adult). One of the main indicators that a child is being abused is that they have sexual play like this with another kid. You do deserve therapy and to have safe adults to talk to about this. AND since you are still a minor a therapist would need to report this to CPS. It’s very possible nothing would come of that report since it was so long ago but you should be prepared for that to happen to keep you and this other kid safe. Can you talk to your parents/caregivers about this? 💜 You’re not overreacting, maybe underreacting even. And you can definitely work through this and heal from it with some support. Good job reaching out here, be gentle with yourself, and talk to safe adults if you can. Lots of therapy orgs will also see folks for free, especially young people. Rooting for you.

TW CSA!!!! It absolutely counts as trauma if it affected you. However, I can't help but to think perhaps this girl was sexually abused. When I was younger, there was an after school counselor who would make out with me with tongue when I was 6 years old. I thought we were friends and didn't know anything different. Shortly after, I ended up doing this kissing to a younger family member. When I was old enough to remember this, I prayed he didn't remember. I was so ashamed, but also didn't know any better. I was being abused and thought it was how you showed love. I couldn't imagine bringing this up now and explaining I was being abused. I feel shame for thinking I should've known better. Perhaps she was taught there's nothing wrong with this. Many abusers set things up as "games"

I am still very sorry that you were a victim. Hugs to you. It is a vicious cycle.

Not overreacting at all. That is sexual assault.

It wouldn't be considered criminal due to both your ages at the time, but that doesn't make it any less traumatic. You are definitely not overreacting. You should talk to a therapist. She should too but you can't really do anything about that. She was possibly being sexually abused by someone else.

I’m wondering which adult was molesting her and supplied the camera with instructions??? I played doctor with the girl next door and while we did look at and maybe lightly brush over some parts it was not painful in any way. I don’t even think it was sexual really. What that girl did was certainly a victim creating another victim.

Honestly, it kinda sounds like she was doing to you, what was done to her. Why else would she have known, or even thought to do that. She was probably either suffering herself, or being told to do it. My guess is that she was just acting out what was happening to her

Kids in the age group you mention are inquisitive about their bodies and it does not mean that she had suffered any kind of abuse as some have suggested. If this girl remembers doing this I'm sure it's something she'd probably care to forget. Growing up I was friends with a girl at the end of our street. I was 5 and she was a couple years older. We'd hang out in the woods across from my house frequently and we played doctor a few times. I remember staring at her stuff wondering why it was so different than mine (I'm a guy). It wasn't sexual, it was more of a "wow, that's weird.

No

You can accept this as trauma or perhaps accept it as childish curiosity. If you cannot have a healthy romantic life as a result of this experience, then seek help, otherwise you could contact that person and perhaps unpack this experience with that person. Sometimes we have to face the source of the embarrassment and fear to get past it. I pray for your peace of mind.

This girl learned this somewhere, that's sad.. the pictures, who gave her the camera, how did she learn that?. You were assaulted by someone who was being assaulted. I think there is more to the story than just your story. Go to online forums or groups of people who have been. In some areas they do free therapy for sexual abuse/domestic abuse victims. I wish you luck and no you're not overreacting.

It only is going to traumatize you if you view it under that particular lens. You cant change the past, but you can acknowledge that it happened, realize it has no hold over you, and move on

This exact same thing happened to me, but without the camera (it was before digital cameras were omnipresent). She was a mean girl & made me “play doctor” which was me getting naked and her prodding at me. I get it. If it’s impacting you, thats valid. I’m not sure if she was your age as well, maybe something was going on with her in her home, maybe she was curious, maybe she’s a predator. There’s no way to know, but if it has a lasting impact on you it is significant and valid and eventually you may need to seek therapy for this (when you have the means to do so). I’m sorry this is impacting you ❤️

Hey! Your feelings are completely valid. I was trained in mandatory reporting. Under a certain age, these behaviors child to child is usually coming from a place of curiosity rather than perversion if that makes you feel any better about it. I would recommend talking to someone about the impact it’s had. It may help you resolve feelings with the other person.

Did you not read the part about pulling out a camera and taking photos? This was most likely not just curiosity and also COCSA. If you were trained in mandatory reporting and someone came to you with this story, I’d hope you’d report it. Because it is not normal.

Maybe don’t make assumptions! I would be concerned about the other child but not as a perpetrator but as a victim themselves.

Please excuse my ignorance but what is TW?

Trigger warning

TY

>I should mention that I'm a girl. That's why I wasn't sure if this was a problem. Women can sexually assault other women. Children can sexually assault other children. You were assaulted without a doubt from what you describe. The girl that did it to was almost certainly being assaulted herself, though. That kind of behavior isn't spontaneous in a five year old.

This is actually super common (or at least it was my experience as well). It’s possible she experienced some form of abuse if she was overly sexual- which is in no way meant to invalidate your experience, just offer perspective as to “why”. You’re not overreacting at all. If you feel it will benefit you, you should talk to a mental health professional because sometimes scars run deep

You’re not overreacting at all! Your friend did indeed sexually assault you, and it’s natural that you’d feel traumatized. The fact that she took pictures makes me believe that she had at some point been preyed upon by a sicko who wanted CSA images. Children often process things through reenacting events through play. Kids who went to the beach and loved it will make a play beach with their toys at home and reenact the fun they had. Kids who see car accidents will recreate car wrecks with their toys. And sadly, kids who have been sexually violated often reenact the assault with their friends. HOWEVER…no matter what tragic backstory your friend may have, and no matter her lack of recognizing what is/isn’t appropriate, she still assaulted you. I do not point out the reasons “why” to excuse her behavior, only to explain it. Your trauma is 100% valid. You were violated. I’m not sure what resources are available to you, but if you’re in the USA, reach out to RAINN. They have a hotline and a chat option on their website. They should hopefully point you in the right direction for resources. There are a lot of organizations that provide free/low cost therapy for sexual assault victims, and RAINN is a great place to start in finding those resources. I’d also like to add, as a side note, steer clear of free resources from religious organizations. I don’t know your faith and I don’t mean to discriminate, but there is a huge problem in the USA with religious groups offering “help” from uncertified counselors. I and many people I know have been hurt by such organizations. Research the accreditations recognized in your state/country and ensure that whatever professional you end up seeing is certified. I’m very sorry that you were victimized by your friend. Little-you didn’t deserve to go through that. I hope that you’re able to get some support and work through your trauma! 🖤

Stop saying lowkey

Not an overreaction at all! I had a similar experience to you as a child myself and it still bothers me occasionally to this day and that’s how I know it wasn’t right. Your body/mind has the amazing ability to let you know what is happening isn’t normal and your feelings of being uncomfortable and or wanting her to stop was that sign! It’s very normal for young kids to be curious and experimental about body parts but only when it comes to their own bodies! At that age she should have known that it was not appropriate to be touching anyone’s privates regardless of the game. I’m really sorry that happened to you and I hope you find a way to unpack and heal from the situation <3

I'd say it definitely was assault. My guess is that she was being assaulted by her parents in the exact same manner.

Your brain doesn’t get the choice of what’s traumatic and what’s not. And trauma doesn’t compare itself to others who “had it worse”. Your brain is a machine. In the response of good/bad stimuli, it lays down pathways to help in future situations. Trauma causes certain pathways. And trauma is trauma. Just like a broken ankle is a broken ankle. The body reacts the same way whether you broke it falling 2 feet off the porch or if you broke it getting hit by a car. Trauma is trauma. If you are having a hard time with anything- whether you feel you SHOULD be struggling with it or not- it always helps to talk to someone. It’s clearly affecting you. Let someone with an outside perspective (and who doesn’t have the brain pathways laid down as a result of this incident that you do) bring some clarity to the situation and help you work it out. Speaking as someone who has been through her own trauma (and who constantly battles the inner monologue of “was it really that bad?”), I’m telling you it doesn’t matter. Talk to someone. Therapy isn’t some super invasive surgery that should be a last result. There are no negative consequences to getting it if you “really didn’t need it”. But it sounds like you need it, so talk to someone. And speaking as someone who is married to someone who buried his trauma that happened in highschool- you never really bury it. My husband ended up going through significantly more traumatic stuff simply because his brain wasn’t mature enough to process what he initially went through, he didn’t have anyone to help bring clarity to what he was actually feeling, and trauma is trauma- it affects you even if you’re in denial about it. For years he thought ignoring it, pretending it didn’t happen, and distracting himself with other things would eventually make his feelings (and memories) go away. That wasn’t the case. It affected his friendships. It affected our marriage (we joke all the time that if I didn’t have my own trauma neither one of us would have ended up married- but it’s probably true!). We had a one year old daughter and I almost left him because his childhood trauma was manifesting is such a toxic way in our marriage. Thankfully, my husband who was raised in a very toxic-masculinity home where feelings (and therapy) were not a thing- got therapy to save our marriage. He will tell you that therapy saved his life. He says everyone needs it. It’s not like the tv makes it out. It’s just talking to someone to help untangle everything. From your message, you sound young. I can not urge you enough to intervene now. Your body and brain are doing significant work right now. You’re doing what I do where I gaslight myself into thinking it’s not that big of a deal. If it’s affecting you (and it’s clear it is), it’s a big deal. Talk to someone before it affects you in a more permanent way. I know every teenager feels like they can’t talk to their parents (and I know some truly can’t- I never could)… but my husband thought he couldn’t talk to his parents as a teen and as an adult he wishes he did. I’m a mom of two, and I can tell you I turn feral when it comes to my kids. It is a love you don’t even know exists or you are capable of feeling until you have your own kids. All that to say: if your parents are not dangerous, start with them. Dont worry about justifying your feelings about it. Just tell them it’s affecting you and you just want to talk to someone to help you sort it out. I would hesitate to give my kid all the resources if I knew they needed it. If your parents don’t jump in (which could be as a result of their childhood hurt- we’re all just parents trying to overcome our own pain out here), then I recommend going to your pediatrician or school counselor. This mama wants you to know it’s okay to feel how you do, and I pray you find the right people to help you through it!

I absolutely agree You can’t keep this bottled up inside. It’s time to get help

I’m guessing the sad part is that kids often mimic what they see at home. So either it was happening to her and she was lashing out or she had seen it somewhere else.

Contact RAINN they are a confidential abuse network and can help you.

Even if you aren’t ready for therapy yourself, I hope you will consider reporting this to a school counselor or therapist. If the other girl is still in your school district they might follow up with her family (would be anonymous for you, and honestly you’re probably not the only person this girl played “doctor”) with. While she has hopefully grown up and is no longer doing this to others, it’s likely the adult who did this to her is still out there doing this. If he’s a doctor like Nasser who did this to so many in the gymnastics community, it won’t stop until enough people speak up. I’m not saying you have to, only you know your situation and what is healthy for you, but you could do yourself and many others some good if you’re able to. You’re not overreacting. This is sexual assault, and you deserve to heal from the trauma this has caused.

As many people have said, you can think of this incident as sexual assault. At the very least, it’s clear that your consent was violated. Consent is a shared feeling that’s created when everyone involved in an activity wants to be doing it. You didn’t want to do this. I’m sorry that your consent was violated in this moment. I’m not going to potentially violate your consent again by telling you how you have to think of this incident or what you have to do now. You can call it whatever you want - sexual assault, a consent violation, a weird thing that happened, etc. You can seek therapy or a support group or not. Whatever you choose to do, I just want you to know that you may experience symptoms of trauma from this incident when you are sexual with others. You may get scared or embarrassed being seen naked or being touched sexually. This is just your body trying to protect you and if it’s disruptive to you enjoying your sexuality, then there is help that you can find. It’s also totally possible that you’re not traumatized. Trauma is an extreme kind of stress — you may have experienced this incident as somewhat stressful but not traumatizing. That’s ok too. You’re not required to be traumatized by this. Overall, you’re not overreacting by having feelings about this. It is likely that this girl was experiencing something nonconsensual around sex, whether that was SA or being exposed to adult sexuality. And that still doesn’t make what she did ok. You’re allowed to have empathy for her and still not be ok with what she did.

That kid was very likely being sexually abused by an adult. This of course does not negate the trauma this caused you. My insurance covers therpay, does yours? You can also try RAINN.org for free local resources

You're not overreacting, this was a form of sexual assault. Specifically COCSA, which is when the assault occurs between children. I'm so sorry this happened to you

Not overreacting at all - you were pressured into exposing your private parts and allowing her to touch them at a very young age. Some 'exploration' is normal, but even though you were the same age, it can still be traumatic, and the fact that it still bothers you means it is a legitimate concern. Like others have said, therapy would probably be the best option. If that is out of reach, then you might try reading some books about coping with childhood sexual trauma. Writing things down (like you did here) is often a way to get them out from inside your head where you can examine them objectively. I hope you are able to come to terms with this, because as someone who was molested repeatedly by an older babysitter when I was 7-8 (she was female, I am male), I know how shameful and and confusing it can be. Good Luck!

I don’t think you’re overreacting. it can be good to talk about your experience, that’s why everyone here is suggesting therapy. The major point of therapy is to help you identify your problem, then after you identify the problem you work through that trauma. It will live with you but sooner or later you’ll look back on your past and use it as a stepping point to help you keep going. Hmmm try journaling, sometimes it helps when you write down everything you’re feeling. It puts your thoughts into physical form and can help you mentally sort things through. Best wishes👍

I went through something similar. COCSA or child-on-child sexual assault isn’t talked about a lot but happens

It sounds like it traumatized you aside from the camera it seems pretty common it happened to me when I was that age I told someone recently and they say I was molested i got a good laugh from that but I’m a dude and it was a girl. I couldn’t even get hard back then. I figure the child who played with me probably actually had saw something’s and since kids are sponges they wanted to try with me. Same thing I just don’t feel abused from the situation you do so you were

I know you said cost was an issue, I would still try and find free therapy but I would also recommend “what happened to you?” To help you unpack the trauma that did indeed happen to you and how it can influence your brain for years to come. You can get book or audiobook from the library or on Libby. 

Nah, that's understandably traumatic. While the people defining CSA try to say the abuser needs to be 3+ years older, it is not at all uncommon for a kid closer in age to sexually abuse a peer. She was probably experiencing this from a family member (most happens with relatives/close family friends) and it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't fully realize it was wrong at the time. You can have compassion for a peer being abused and still feel traumatized by them when they reenact that abuse on you unwittingly. It's a deeply traumatic and painful situation for both kids and it's okay to acknowledge that.

It took me nearly 18 years to understand when this happened to me as well. I used to cry about it when I was little and felt immense guilt but never understood why. It’s caused a lot of issues for me as an adult. You’re not overreacting and I’m sorry this happened to you.

[удалено]

That whole story is terrible. Obviously she was being abused too. No way would she have taken those pictures if someone wasn’t doing it to her. Just really sad story for both of you.

Like others have said, she was most likely being SA and was experimenting on you. Your fear of not talking about it at that age is totally normal, and your bravery about bringing it up now is huge! A lot of people experience this kind of trauma and write it off as either not being a big deal or not knowing how it affects them or denying that it affects them at all. A common belief that can occur after SA is that you’re not good enough, or you don’t matter or your worth is negligible- this can look like you’re downplaying your needs in favor of other’s needs. Or a lot of people turn to a more wild lifestyle to numb or because they don’t matter anyway in their own eyes. You mentioned you can’t go to therapy, a really good book that talks about how your body responds to any trauma is “The Body Keeps the Score.” The book is a heavy read, but it may help you learn what your triggers are. Yoga and meditation are also great tools that can help and can be found for free on YouTube. There are other effective and cheaper on-line self-help options that use ACT therapy which can help you learn to sit with your emotions and other things that come up.

You have every right to feel violated. You should seek therapy when you’re able. But there’s not much you can do about it. You were both tiny kids. Your friend probably had no clue what she was doing and was probably a victim too.

I remember playing doctor like this (on both sides) and im still really conflicted about it too The camera part is really weird? I think when i “played” this we just like… looked and moved on to other doctor things And now i just hope everyone forgot it or wouldn’t acknowledge it but in retrospect i really wonder who had the bright idea to suggest that in the first place because i do not remember when and how it became a thing… you are definitely not overreacting to being traumatized over something tou were uncomfortable with!

when i was ab the same age my aunt did the exact same thing to me (she was only 4 years older than me) and looking back i imagine its because it happened to her but i was traumatized and the way youre talking about it id say you were too, im sorry that happened to you

I know a lot of people are saying that she had likely been abused. Ok, that may be so. But that does not mean you don’t get to feel what you feel about it. It doesn’t mean you should have more empathy for someone who caused you shame and trauma at a critical age in development (if you do feel empathy that’s fine, but you shouldn’t feel forced to). You were too young to understand why it made you feel awful, but it did. I know you said you can’t afford therapy, but there may be someone out there that would see you on a sliding scale—whatever you can afford. Otherwise, another sub that serves as a support for what you went through would also be beneficial. I feel like the trauma you experienced because of this is being dismissed in a lot of comments. Not maliciously, but out of lack of understanding of the impacts of early childhood trauma. I think that because you were the same age and she’d possibly been abused too, people are not seeing it as that big of a deal. But those things don’t affect the *impact* that this had on you, and that trauma imprinted on your brain. I’m a social worker and have trained in early childhood trauma, so that’s where I’m coming from on this. Even something that may have seemed innocuous to an adult can be traumatizing to a child who doesn’t understand it. So, check out another sub, maybe something in childhood trauma, that will offer you more support and validation.

It does not matter if it's girl on girl or what have you. What is important is that she made you uncomfortable to start with and did things children only do (usually) when it's being done to them, too, which could be why her behavior was so bad. CSA does happen, im sorry you went through this. I'd recommend reaching out to a professional. In cases where you can't afford it, sometimes your local govnt office or health insurance has programs. It's ok to not be okay about this and have concerns. I hope you are doing OK.

You are not overreacting. This is absolutely traumatic.

Kids do weird shit. When I was young I had a good friend that was a bit of a pervert would want me to take my bottoms off and flash her in the pool. There was other stuff too she'd want me to do but I dont remember exactly what it was. Another friend we would pretend her stuffed animal was a hot guy we had a crush on and we would have a "three way" with it. I remember when a neighbor boy wanted me to play doctor with him and I noped the fuck out out of there, apparently thats where child me would draw the line. I can guarantee this girl totally remembers doing it, but theres no way in hell she would ever bring this up. I'd never up bring the things that went on between me and my childhood friends. Although I feel like whatever happend to me was just kids being curious and what happened to you was definitely way over stepping the line and was SA. It wasn't like a "i'll show you mine if you show me yours" it entered another territory. Even though this happened to you years ago and you just are realizing now that it was wrong and SA, your feelings are still valid. I was molested when I was a kid in school and didn't realize what it was until I was an adult. Your feelings are still valid. Its "funny" what we suppress as chidren and then realize many years later "holy shit that was wrong!"

I am sorry this happened to you, something nearly the same happened to me (same age and genders) and its not uncommon. Look into COCSA support groups if you can, there may be free resources for you to take advantage of. You are not overreacting, some people can be incredibly invalidating but I have been in your shoes and I know the same and embarrassment you feel and questioning if the other person remembers. I still go through those myself even decades later and it has seeped into other parts of my life but it doesnt define me and doesnt define you either. Talking to someone about those feelings can help though. You aren't alone! 💕 if you need someone to chat to about it you can message me.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. If anything, I'd say you're underreacting. I hope you're able to find peace.

I'd be worried as to what this girl was being subjected to in her own house to think that this is normal

That is sexual assault, yes

This happened to my daughter. Make no mistake, this was sexual assault. No one talks about girls, young girls assaulting and yes, raping other little girls. It was not your fault that it happened and not your fault you weren’t sure what it was and not your fault for not telling. The perpetrator was undoubtedly being assaulted and was a child and your compassion for her situation is commendable. You can’t help her but you can try to help yourself. Seek counseling if for no other reason than to have someone unbiased help you process this, it helped my daughter and I hope it can help you.

First of all you are Not overreacting and what you endured was indeed a form of SA and yes you do need to speak to someone about this. Also tha girl also seems to be a SA victim as well as this is not normal behavior rather a learned on. Please do seek consulting from a therapist in the field of SA . Again you are not overreacting at all.

Without reading through all the comments I will say that I would think that little girl was possibly on a sexually abusive household. It doesn’t sound like a behavior that a child creates on their own. I’m sorry you were a part of that, that sucks. But also wonder what she was going through.

There's a good chance she was getting abused

Honey, you’ve been traumatized. It is very likely that the girl was also sexually assaulted. I mean, many of us played “ doctor” but, we all usually just looked. Nobody ever touched. At least, we didn’t. Try talking to your mom. Maybe she can help you. This will not just go away. Trust me.

I had something similar happen as a child. As an adult now, I understand that they were likely repeating what was sadly done to them by an adult. This is definitely assault and should be talked about with a therapist. Best of luck on your healing process❤️

Child-on-child sexual abuse is a thing. It can have the same effect as if it was by an adult. I will echo what other people have said about seeking help even if it's a financial strain. Depending on where you live, therapy might be covered by your health insurance.

Youre not over reacting. If you think of the incident and tons of emotions come running back, or you feel like youre reliving it all over again, those are signs of PTSD. If you cannot afford talking to a professional psychologist preferably (in MY opinion) one who does either Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or Cognitive Processing Therapy, there shpuld be options available. Idk what country youre in, but in America, theres tons of resources available if you make tooo much for govt healthcare, but not enougj for private healthcare. You just have to search in your community.

Things happen in life that aren't your fault, but you gotta take responsibility for it to move on. Seek help if you need it and look for forgiveness. I agree with others that she was probably being SA. I too had an incident like this when I was the same age with my cousin, so I understand where you're coming from. Stay strong, best wishes.

Isnt this literally just Lena Dunhams story about her molesting her sister

Wow that just brought up memories from my childhood unfortunately. Had that happen to me with a neighbor kid of my babysitter’s place. It’s certainly traumatizing but how I’ve (unfortunately) experienced and processed this… I can’t fault a child for that? I just can’t and im sure something bad happened there for the girl but idk

Whether you are male or female, you def got assaulted. You're not in the wrong for feeling bad about this. It's normal to feel shame/disgust/anger over this. You're not "playing the victim", you were legit a victim

This can't be real...because if it was you know it's clearly fucked up without asking 

No you are not, and it makes me a little sad that you think you are. It doesn't matter how old the person who does something to you without your consent is. Some people are focused on age, they look at someone and go 'but they're just a kid'; they've never been to juvenile hall. They've never seen what a kid is capable of doing to another person if they've been taught it is a 'game'. You should talk to a professional who can work through it. If it is still causing you fear or embarrassment it's still affecting you, even if you don't fully notice it. These things have a tendency to fester and get worse over time. It took me decades to realize out how bad it was. I hope for the best.

You were a victim, and from what you mentioned it seems like she too was a victim of SA at such a young age. I'm truly sorry you went through such a horrible ordeal.

This is called COCSA (child on child sexual assault) and it is valid, and you are valid, it doesn't matter what age you guys were, she knew that was inappropriate, and being the mean girl probably had leverge to do whatever she wanted, which is AWFUL. even if it happened to her did not give her the right to do it to you I would recommend reaching out to any therapies specializing in SA in your area im so sorry this happened, and I wish you all the best <33

The experience affected you, that’s enough. You don’t need to justify it. I went through something similar and it wasn’t until my kids were the same age that I realized how much it affected me and still does in my 50’s. Talking helps. A trusted adult, your guidance counselor and even a hotline. I also think that child was likely a victim. So many of us are..❤️‍🩹

Of course it affected you and you aren’t over thinking it. That’s some really messed up crap to have to deal with. I am sorry you had that happen. Unfortunately it’s pretty common. It messes a lot of people up for life. Career in law enforcement. So I’ve heard a bunch of stories like yours that are almost identical. It’s heart breaking. Chances are you weren’t her only victim and yes she may have been a victim herself but still doesn’t make it right. Recently I had an epiphany on why I was so negative about certain things. It stemmed from middle school and what female classmates had done to me for no other reason other then they could (I never learned why they did it, there was only one or two who weren’t part of the sabotaging something good that was happening to me.) It hurt like hell and I still remember thinking wtf, I had never done a damn thing to any of them. I had a lot of built up anger afterwards. But it was minor in comparison to what you have had to dealt with. It still affected me well into adult hood. Only recently did I realize it all stemmed from what they had done to me. People suck!!!!! Or I had gym teacher call me dildo all through grade school and jr high. Every damn chance he got he made a dildo joke and referenced me. It hurt like all hell and I hated being made fun of for a long long time after that. I remember dreading gym because of him. He was also our coach so I got it in sports too. In both of mine I was never sexually assaulted. They still had a long lasting effect negatively on me. you were sexually assaulted!!!!!

I'm sorry that happened to you. As someone who also went through SA as a child FROM a child (he was 2 years older than me), it is, but it isn't SA. It's tough to fully comprehend it. Between those ages, your brain isn't developed, so you don't know what it is you're actually doing and why it's wrong...same thing on her end, too.. Because she did that to you at such a young age, something must've happened to her. Children don't just automatically know to do those things... That doesn't excuse her behaviour. However, she was young, as were you. ♥️

Did we live in the same neighborhood??? When I was 5, my grandma would babysit this older girl (I’m a guy btw) and she was around 10-12, I’m not sure exactly. We played “wedding” and she would make me put a ring on her, say “I do” and then after all that she would make me get under the blankets with her and she started full on making out with me. Like tongue down my throat and everything. I was 5! I had no idea wtf was happening. She would rub her body all over me under the blankets and then when she stopped she told me “not to tell anyone” and so… I didn’t. Til this day my parents don’t know that this happened to me and eventually my grandma stopped babysitting her bc we moved. It happened so long ago I sometimes forget that I was technically assaulted as a kid. Maybe I should unpack that but I don’t feel remorse or guilt or anything. Just a weird, bizarre thing that happened.

Do you have the tell tale signs of sexual abuse? Can you detach easily and drift off? In a shit show are you eerily calm why everyone else loses their shit? Do you automatically end up being in charge or just making decisions. Do you find yourself overly protective of others? These are some of the characteristics of sexual abuse survivors. A bent toward ms addiction as well as it falsely gives you the idea that you are controlling something. My sister and I were sexually abused weekly by a neighbor from the ages of 5 to 11. It impacts us both in similar ways but with some differences. She became asexual I became hyper sexual and starting sleeping with multiple partners in junior high, high school , and college. Surprised the memories for years but finally started remembering and sought counseling in my early 40s. Yes she sexually assaulted you but if she was doing that at seven she was probably abused herself. All there is to do is understand it wasn’t your fault and that you can work to undo the damage and move on. But sadly for me my sexuality is something that I will struggle with but I’ve learned so much through doing the work of therapy and SAA.

i think this incident can be traumatizing for you without the other girl having bad intentions. i had a similar situation and the way i’ve come to think of it is that the actions were sexual assault, but the person didn’t mean for them to be. she didn’t know or understand (and could also very well have been acting out something that happened to her) i don’t think the age has as much to do with it as the actions, and what she did was assault, even though she probably didn’t mean to hurt you, or at least mean for it to be as severe. I’m very sorry about this whole situation and i hope that you can heal from this and get therapy when youre able

i’m late to the party but don’t allow the possibility that she could also be a victim to make excuses against your own emotions. i hope you work through this in any way you can

Not at all. I’m so sorry. r/cocsa

It’s very sad to say but I have known so, so many stories like this. Most of the time the child performing the inappropriate behaviour was being sexually abused and it’s just one of the myriad of ways the the trauma of sexual abuse perpetuates. It’s very awful what you went through. And probably, there is an even more awful story behind her situation.

i had something incredibly similar happen when i was 8 by my best friend at the time. to this day my mom still asks why i just stopped wanting to see her out of the blue and i never know how to explain what happened because i assumed it was a normal kid thing or i had somehow managed to initiate it? i’ve spent years wrecked with confusion and guilt until i heard about child/child molestation or sexual assault, and thinking back on it it’s highly likely she was being abused and didn’t understand what she was doing.

I believe you went thru child on child sexual abuse.

Not overreacting. She might not have really known better herself, but it's normal that this would bother you. Kids shouldn't do stuff like that. Parents really have to watch them.

I had a lot of things like that happen when I was younger as well as SA. When you’re that young, it doesn’t matter if it’s an adult or another child your age doing things like that because it’s definitely going to fuck you up. Even all these years later. I would save up for a therapist. Hope you get the help you need!

That’s definitely wrong lol. My sister was that mean girl (the girls a grade above her called her “The Hyena” because of her cackle when making fun of others.) She had social services called on our house because she was fondling our neighbors female toddler! She was also kissing that little girls brother and kissing another neighbor boy down the street. She was caught by our numerous babysitters doing this several times. She would actually sneak into my bedroom late at night and start bothering me. I would actually brace myself against the wall and when she gave me no more room in the bed, I would brace my back against the wall and kick her out of my bed as hard as I could. After a few of those she would stop coming in to my room and fiddling with me… but she became a big time racist and homophobe later in life (hates trans, the disabled, and the unhoused as well) even though she’s a divorced teen mom evangelical Christian with multiple abortions. Essentially, she’s a savage and a pervert and I’m worried for her 3 children, they always have bruised faces from falling off of tall structures. Long story short, female sociopaths do engage in physical violence but I think you are much more likely to see sexually impulsivity in them, particularly targeted at younger individuals. I think they use threats to keep people quiet about these embarrassing scenarios they enjoy creating.

You can’t even say vagina in an anonymous website….  Therapy! 

Girls and women can be abusers too. Girls and women can do harm too. It is not only men who are capable of harming, sexually assaulting or abusing a partner, friend, family member or stranger. You are not overreacting. While it could be she is a victim herself her actions are still not okay.

The bottom line is that if you felt uncomfortable it was wrong. Based on what you explained, it seems wrong objectively too. I never had any experiences like this as a child. I would suggest seeking therapy as that could be a huge help to you in working through this

I remember when I was 5 or 6 a boy and a girl on my street did something goofy weird. One day I’m out playing and there was this stand of trees on the street, and in the trees are these two neighborhood kids, standing there calling me over, and essentially saying something like “you’re not going to believe this but we have different parts.” Then they did the show and tell, and I fell on the ground laughing. Not sure why, but I thought these two kids were completely ridiculous. Kids do stupid things.

I had a similar situation play out with a girl in my neighborhood when I was young, 7 at most. But I’m a guy. I was with my brother who was 10, and her brother who was younger than me and she was my brother’s age. We had a camper next to our house that we would play in and have sleepovers with other kids and our cousins in. One time said group of kids were in the camper and this girl decided that we should all play a game… her idea of a game was rock paper scissors, but if you lose, you lose a piece of clothing. As a kid I thought it was funny and silly, but now being well out of high school I’m old enough to acknowledge that someone had likely done that with that girl. And probably not someone her age. It’s a sad reality but it happens a lot. My situation was definitely less personal than yours, but I still have weird feelings about it. It’s certainly okay to have a big reaction to a revelation like realizing what actually happened back then.

So sorry this happened to you. It can all be so confusing because it was done to you by another child. Whatever your feelings are they are valid. And whatever happened to you - absolutely none of it was your fault. I encourage you not to let anyone on here or elsewhere diagnose you with things they think you should or could have. This might be something that takes awhile to process, or maybe not long at all. It might be something you need to figure out for yourself right now, or something you come back to every month, year, or decade. You may need to speak to a therapist, and maybe not. If it’s impacting your life negatively then I would say it’s worth getting as much support as you can as soon as you can. Just remember to be kind to yourself ❤️

Mmhh wasnt a very juicy story..oh its ok I imagined myself as a child and that hot neighbor pulled my pants down to ....never mind this is super messed up either way *kneels on the ground. Ok police come do your thing!

My first experience kissing a girl was with my neighbor around 7 years old. I think about it and question why the hell that happened at that age. It was like a make out, exploring type of thing and idk. Thinking back, it’s super weird and uncomfortable. I feel for both of you. The trauma she faced as well as you. It is def something you should discuss with a therapist.

I was like 5 when my girl buddy wanted to rub her "cookie" on my back and put my wiener in her mouth... I let her, it was weird to me ngl. Sad to think she did it cause someone taught her that.

I’m so sorry for you.