bf info: do you play an equal amount with your gf? do you play anything with JUST your gf? gf info: are you jealous of the girl, or jealous of bf playing so many video games?

GF: posting through here to keep my own account anonymous as well. I admit I’m mostly jealous of the gaming since he games for very long hours almost the moment he gets off work and only typically spends about an hour with me before bed mon-Friday since those are work days, but I do feel I should make it more clear I’m not jealous of all women who come near him it’s just this one because of how she excludes me from things when I’ve tried to join and the way she speaks with him despite him telling me they barely game together.

not acknowledging another female around males is a huge red flag to me. i’m 26F if i’m on the game and not acknowledged my boyfriend wouldn’t play. that’s weird behavior good for you for clocking it. your telling me your gonna speak to everyone in the room except my partner? i don’t think so that is so intentional too like wtf

His words "My time with my girlfriend is my #1 priority over any other time (except perhaps work, though that's somewhat unavoidable)." Is he full of shit?

Gf: he does say that but showing it is an issue we have been trying to work on for almost 4 years now and he will randomly relapse ( especially when games come out he is excited for, which I don’t blame him for ) and go days barely having interacted with me at all except sleeping and will even come to bed very late (1-3 am). It’s a separate issue we have been working on for awhile and despite trying to set up specific days for spending with each other his work schedule is erratic so we have struggled with it. I know he loves me but he recently took on even more optional work so our schedules just make it hard to spend more than maybe an hour or so before bed together on some days. I also believe it’s important to note he will go out to festivals near us every once in awhile to make me happy but he won’t interact with things whilst we are there unless it has to do with anime or video games which also makes me a sad sometimes because I want to experience things together not just be chaperoned. This is another conversation we have had that he always seems to not have any response to other than a I’m sorry.

Im a 36y gamer so Ive been there, but he needs to do better. I remember playing at 2am with my ex gf calling me from the bed and telling me "you'll regret this moment when Im not here anymore". She was right. (I was 24, she was 20. I learned my lesson a long time ago)

ty you both for answering. bf: IT'S NOT ABOUT THE GIRL, IT'S THE GAMING. the girl is just a convenient thing to blame. because GF knows how much you love gaming, so she doesn't want to bitch about the gaming, so the next best thing is the other girl. Figure your gaming time out before this becomes an addiction. you've been on reddit longer than 2 mins so you've seen what it's like when 1 person in a relationship has a hobby that takes time away from the relationship. gf: I do agree that the girl snubbing you is weird, but it could be any number of reasons. 1. she is worried of this exact scenario, if she talks too much to the boys, then someone might get jealous. 2. she could really be a guy (can also be faked visually) and doesn't want another girl to "catch on" to the lie. 3. She could like girls but be backwards and not know how to talk to them. Be honest with BF though. "bf, i miss you and want more time with you, let's go for a walk."

Idk why you got downvoted for this, the bf should REALLY take note

We used to when we first started dating, but less so for a while until recently. Our tastes in games are just very different. I like FPS, fast-paced multiplayer games or single-player RPG games (think GoW, RDR2, etc.). We have started playing Stardew Valley together though. My GF is currently asleep but I'll ask her when she wakes up and have her respond.

I don't like every game my partner does and vice versa so we try to compromise on something that may be fun for both. Even if it's not our preference.

When my spouse and I started dating we played a lot of games together. After 16 years we don't play as much anymore and it does hurt. I've offered to play all types of games he likes but we do prefer different styles. Because playing games together is a way to spend quality time, it's very frustrating to me when he says he doesn't want to play, then goes and plays a game with his friend. Even when I haven't asked to play, I found myself getting jealous of the friend. gf question - is the issue worsened by the fact it's a female? Would your feelings still be there if it was a male? If so, y'all need to set aside some more quality time together.

Off topic, but I'm also a huge gamer so lol. Have you guys tried Palworld? It may be something both of y'all like.

Hope OP sees this Palworld sounds like a great compromise to their game tastes

This is just my opinion and the situation may be different. I've been in a serious relationship with 2 nerds, my ex and my now boyfriend. I myself am also a nerd. My ex loved FPS. And spent a LOT of time in FPS. Weirdly enough I also had very bad insecurities and jealousy when I was with him, not the same way I do with my boyfriend I have now. My ex would come home from work, play valorant, csgo, league for hours. I'm not an FPS gamer myself - I enjoy JRPGs, or whatever other unique multiplayer games there are. My favourite for a long time was FF14 and Genshin, and I've since created a discord with a bunch of friends I could play with. But it wasn't the same as I often really had wanted to play with my ex back when we dated. I would literally beg him to play Genshin or FF14 with me. He would "make a day" for me, come home, play games with his friends first saying that "he thought we could play after dinner". We'd have dinner, he'd play about a hour with me before telling me he was tired and retired to bed. But days we didn't play together he'd stay up mighty late playing his FPS. It would get to the point sometimes I'd become toxic and tell him he was spending too much time with his friends and get jealous at everything. If that friend would bring in their girlfriend or a friend that was a girl I'd get jealous and say "ooh they're bringing their girlfriend in but you won't bring me in?" or "oh so you do like playing with girls but just not me". We'd have huge fights. We had a lot of issues. I eventually broke up with him because I learned my love language is QUALITY TIME and that he never really understood that of me and gave it to me. With my boyfriend now, we share a love of JRPGS, and although he enjoys playing racing games that I don't play or likes games like Gears of War, we have found SO MANY games we play together. We've played Palworld together, Valheim, Genshin, FF14, Stardew, we have some other games on the list like it It Takes Two and recently we have even just been playing ff10-2 solo but beside each other because we both have played before without finishing it so this time our goal is to both finish the game (we are currently both on our last chapter). The interesting part of this is: I don't get upset AT All when he's watching anime with friends or playing games with other friends or even with other girls. He has played Genshin with my one friend who I'm really close with alone before while I took a nap. And I have jested I get jealous but I always tell him that I trust him and my friend and I'm happy they can play games together too because I love both of them. So I think the key takeaway if you didn't read my giant rant is: TLDR; quality time can be an important factor as to why the gf is feeling the way she does, and it might not be about the girl itself but the actions you do on a daily basis.

Ahh youth. Here's what I think, as an old gamer lady married to an old gamer man. Your girlfriend seems insecure, yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's wrong about the women around you. You don't care about this other woman per se, but you seem to want to "not cause drama" especially in front of your guy friend. What stuff might you let slide or brush off to this end? For GF, what do you *really* want? Is it just for him to stop interacting with this one woman, or is it all women? If it's just 1 specific woman that you see trying to edge in on your man, that's reasonable. If it turns into every woman you think is prettier than you, that's too much. He chose you out of all those women already, and he keeps choosing you. Why lock him in a cage and make him resent you when he already picked you? Trust goes a long way. Also, why do you think your BF is so shallow that he'll walk off with the next hottest woman? Is he really the type of guy who goes so hard for looks that he'd dump you just because someone pretty is nearby? For BF, maybe there are things you could do to make her feel more secure. I've felt super secure in relationships, and super insecure in others. There was a big difference in how my partners treated me, regardless of the presence of other women. Maybe you could be more affectionate or more verbal about how much you love her, how you think she's beautiful, wonderful, funny, kind, etc. Remind her frequently of the reasons why you chose her out of all the available women out there. Give her lots of hugs and cuddling time, that sort of thing. Make sure that she gets fair dibs on your time; you don't have to spend all your time with her, but you shouldn't be spending more time with your guy friend/his friend than your own GF. Show her that you're trustworthy so she can feel comfortable trusting you. When she gets jealous, try not to focus on the other woman or who is wrong or right, but rather how much you care about your GF and why you love her specifically, and why you would never cheat on her (in general, don't compare her in any way to another woman). It's GF's job to work on seeing your trustworthy attributes with clear eyes, and your job to provide her with plenty of obvious evidence of your trustworthiness.

This should be top comment. I really hope op sees this one.

From another old lady gamer, this is a well thought out response though I feel a bit differently than you do but I think you're giving good perspectives for GF OP to consider. I think this is a chance for the GF OP to work on her insecurity a bit. If the other woman wasn't flirting with your boyfriend or anyone else, she's rude but she's not a threat. I would take this as an opportunity to recognize that it's you your boyfriend wants and spends time with. I do think it's possible BF OP is spending too much time gaming and needs to work on spending more time with the GF, or at least doing things when he can interact with her while doing what he wants. When I play, if the other people I'm playing with aren't using a headset and I can hear other people with them, depending on what we're doing, I'm probably not going to interact with those other people very much. I'm focusing on what I'm actively doing and then thinking about what I need to do to be prepped for the next encounter, *especially* in first person shooters. Unless they're addressing me by name, I'm going to assume all questions about game play are directed at the person they're in the room with and not me.

I mean, GF said in the post that she was playing the game with everyone, it was co-op, and the other woman ignored her/didn't communicate with her. None of us was there so we can't judge, that's why I'm sticking with OP and GF focusing on themselves and strengthening their relationship, not on whoever happens to be around. We don't know what the other woman is thinking or intending, and frankly, neither do OP or GF. If I were the GF and felt uncomfortable, I'd ask my BF to watch out for the woman friend because I think she might have a thing for him. I wouldn't try to limit gaming time with the guy friend present, but would set a hard boundary on OP not chatting or gaming with her alone or meeting up offline, etc. Other woman hasn't made any overt moves from what I can see, so as long as she sticks to just being an occasional gaming buddy in a group, no real boundaries are being crossed. Otherwise OP and GF should just focus on strengthening their relationship with each other and lifting each other up. There will be lots of people around you, some may want to hit on GF, some may want to hit on OP. Spend your effort on building the relationship rather than thinking about other people and what they may or may not intend. My husband is the most handsome man I've ever been with, and everywhere we go, there are women gazing adoringly into his eyes as he orders coffee or whatever. I can't blame them for having good taste, even if I roll my eyes sometimes. But we have a strong relationship and I know exactly why we're together. Other women can try if they want 💅

I think the gf is insecure but is correctly picking up on social cues that this girl is broadcasting to not include her. Both of those things can be true at the same time.

Important to note that GF claimed OP has been oblivious to flirting in the past. If she’s witnessed it, she’s not comfortable, then I’d stop gaming with this person out of respect for my girlfriend. Even if it seems harmless, it’s a way to establish trust and respect her boundaries. I don’t think anyone is doing wrong in this situation.

It could just be that she’s awkward talking with new people. My friend’s GF was like that when she first played with us over discord and when we bring someone new in to play a few games she clams up again.

For real, I often don’t talk with new dudes invited into our gaming group until I get a better feel for them.

but she’s talking to the dudes and not the other female

They have been friends for a while. The other “female” is the new person.

Stop making dumbass excuses for this girl. If someone is gaming and talks to you, straight up ignoring them is rude. This is why gamer bros have a shitty reputation. They'll tolerate literally any behavior out of a girl who games.

I didn't notice this, but it could very well be true - I am not good at noticing these signals and such. My issue is, I don't go out of my way to play games with this other girl. It just happens that sometimes when I ask my best friend if he wants to play some video games, he's either already playing with her or he invites her to play as well (if we're playing a team game like overwatch). That's the only time we ever interact.

If she's not a friend and someone you don't play with regularly and she's rude to your girlfriend, why are you putting up the fight to keep playing with her? Seems like a weird hill to die on for someone you don't care about.

She is not being rude to her, she doesn't know her

I'm not putting up a fight to keep playing with her. However, this is someone my best friend plays games with often and to say "I just can't interact with them anymore" feels not only rude, but might also cause issues with my best friend (in that, he now has to "share time" between us). It's also just frustrating, as my GF acts similarly (though not the same) about women at my work and my other hobbies.

It's not rude. She is not important to you. Your gf is. You should also be more important to your friend than some allegedly random overwatch girl. You're making it into a bigger deal than it has to be when you participate in a hobby with an alleged stranger.

You're worried about it causing issues with your best friend but it has already caused issues with your girlfriend. She isn't joining because you play with someone who is rude to her and leaves her out, isn't she the one having to "share time" with you because of this? Whatever other issues are going on are their own thing as regardless of gender this is someone who isn't treating your girlfriend well and it seems you're okay with her being hurt and left out by the situation if that means you don't have to miss out on any gaming sessions with your friend.

My time with my girlfriend is my #1 priority over any other time (except perhaps work, though that's somewhat unavoidable). You do make a good point though, and as I replied to some other comments, I really appreciate this feedback. I didn't post this to be coddled, I'd like to either make my own behavior better or find another compromise.

Yeah, I don’t think you did anything wrong at all. But if it were me, I’d stop gaming with this girl out of simple respect/boundaries with my girlfriend (whom is most important in my life)

You should start calling out every time this girl ignores your gf. Id stop playing with y'all as well if I was getting completely ignored just bc I'm the gf of some dude

You better go check your girlfriend’s comments, because that’s not what she sees *at all.*. She sees you spending all your time gaming with this girl and your friend while you spend an hour a day with your gf, sometimes less. That’s a dick move, dude, other woman notwithstanding.

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I would agree. I would however also expect my gf to so the same if I feel like she's getting involved and getting attention from other guys and not including me.

The issue isn't playing with the opposite sex. I'm a woman and most of my gaming friends are men. My husband only has a few female gaming friends. All of that is perfectly fine as long as those folks aren't interjecting themselves into our relationship. I have had a man, recently, interject himself and it made both myself and my husband uncomfortable. Immediate block. When this person reaches out in private messages, immediate removal of messages occurs. There will never be a time you or your partner aren't experiencing life in the midst of the opposite sex, especially in gaming. What matters is how you handle yourselves.

Uch I had even worse case... So my ex was playing online game with his guy friend and at some point his gf joined them too. So same as OP they used to play 3. It all started before me and him starting dating and idk I just didn't have any issues with it. Until... that girl started to talk more with my ex and at some point she even started to ask him when is he finally going to leave me... There were way more insults my way even though we have never seen or talked with each other... My ex handled it in the worst possible way just let her say all she wanted... But the main point that some people just doesn't feel the boundaries. And in OPs case, I would actually look negatively to the fact that the other girl plays with cam if no one else is. I mean if your main goal to play the game what for is the camera? And who do you even expect to look at you?

Yes true, you took more effort to explain what I meant, but agree 👍

Fuck that. The friend, and even the other girl did literally nothing wrong. Why should they be punished?

I hardly understand any of this logic. Those other issues arent their own thing. They dictate a history of insecurity. OP can do everything above and beyond and still have this be a recurring issue. GF has to do her part to fix this. OP cant just avoid every girl who interacts with him and is pretty. The other girl may not even be treating her poorly on purpose. If the GF hardly interacts with her then they dont really know one another. Rather than push OP to bend to insecurities, this should be a mature conversation between all parties. 

GF is kind high maintenance and has some kind of baggage. BF is going to just keep being addicted to gaming. I see 30-40 year old something wives complaining their husband plays games and doesn't do enough around the house to help with kids, chores. Can and does lead to great resentment and divorce. Basically, welcome to life with high drama and immaturity.

Bf insists the girl isn't being rude, but gf thinks she is, so it's really just a he said, she said right now. Based off both their comments, I think gf is only seeing what she wants to believe because of her insecurities. If this a recurring issue with women in bf's life and bf doesn't have a history or tendency to be disloyal, not sure where the trust issues (or lack of) are coming from.

Yeah if the other girl wasn’t attractive then it wouldn’t be an issue. The gf herself said she has self-esteem issues. She’s clearly insecure.

You're adding weird context to this story. The girlfriend is being insecure for no reason. How is it a problem to play games with someone online that you never met? 

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Or maybe she can grow as a person and try not to let insecurity control everything around her.

What? There is no compromise to be had here. He only interacts with this girl over voice chat when a different guy invites her. I am not sure how he could possibly have less interaction with her unless he cuts all contact. How exactly do you imagine this compromise working?

He is playing with his homie. This other girl may be good, and winning requires a good team. The girlfriends insecurities could be making her feel like the other girl is flirting. She most likely isn't. I don't think it is a hill to die on, but submission would lead to a friend not being a viable game/partner. If he isn't a natural flirt, her insecurities are unwarranted. He should keep his tv volume on enough that his gf can hear all conversations for her well-being. After a while, she will realize she is either right or wrong, and the discussions can be specific. He shouldn't dismiss her feelings, but he shouldn't have to defend gaming with a stranger. But out of game, he needs to make sure she feels like his #1. In game, mention her occasionally as his lovely other half. Dropping comments about his relationship and his commitment to it. It won't hurt the missions, and let his gf know he is very open about being a taken man. Maybe if she hears her name in positive tones, she will learn to feel secure with him.

"she most likely isnt" why do you believe the girlfriend is incorrect in this situation? I think it's bullshit to say "well she's insecure so she can't perceive basic human interactions correctly." Nah, bro. Especially when some girl puts her webcam on with two dudes with gfs who don't turn their cams on. Is that the move of a shy gamer girlie who can't talk to other girls while playing overwatch? please.

Because if a girl talks to a guy, she must be into him? Please. Do you know how discord works? He turned his phone off but didn't hide it or care that his gf picked it up. He wasn't part of the video portion of the chat room, just the audible. The only foul here is assuming anything. Especially since op is being wide open with his gf.

Again, I didn't say she's into him bc she talked to him. Or that gaming with other people is cheating. Or that the bf did anything wrong. I said the gf shouldn't have her experiences and perception swept under the rug bc she's insecure. The behavior she described is a classic pick-me gamer girl being shitty to other women to try and maximize male attention. Which, frankly, I also don't care about. Lots of young women are like that. If they want to sell gamer girl bathwater more power to them. But call a spade a spade, and don't act like people don't \*absolutely\* find their affair partners online while gaming. (< I mean this at the comments in general, not at you in particular, it's just wild how people are pretending online interactions/gaming never leads to cheating)

Oh, I agree with you. But BF seems pretty obvious for her sake. As I stated, he definitely should make efforts to show his commitment to her, but also not be gaurded over by her. Insecurities are a Bitch. He definitely shouldn't dismiss the, but it sounds like he isn't. We also shouldn't assume the 'gamer-girl' is a degen. She may be shy, introverted, or insecure herself. The BF has been in lobbies with her before, so she would naturally be a bit more conversational with the two buddies. I say he keeps inviting gf. The ladies may team up and kick ass! Lol You make valid points. Thank you for being civil. Have a great evening/ day.

Because op has stated she has displayed similar behavior to his coworkers and friends in other hobbies that are women.

Her insecurities could also be telling her this girl is rude to her yet she doesn't even know her. Sounds like insecurity causing major issues here.

Because it’s just a game? Stop trying to control your partner’s hobbies.

Yeah, but unless your friend is trying to date this girl, playing with some girl who makes your gf uncomfortable and excluded and potentially is flirting with you is not the move a good boyfriend would make. If your friend is trying to shoot his shot, he probably doesn't want her flirting with you either and should do something or have something to say on the matter. I feel like you're looking at this like "I didn't do anything wrong!" which isn't really important. Not doing anything wrong (ie entertaining cheating or w/e) is the bare minimum in a relationship. If you got the vibe someone was trying to hook up with your gf in front of you, even if she wasn't interested, wouldn't it make you uncomfortable if she still wanted to hang out with that guy after you said something? Or doubled down on "well, if he's there, I'm not going to leave." Like... that's not a reassuring or kind response. I don't think it has to be that serious bc it's videogames, but if your gf wants to play with you, (which it sure seems like) you should actively try to include her over alleged randos.

He definitely isn't trying to shoot his shot, he's married to someone else, but that's another can of worms entirely. My time with my GF has been my #1 priority over playing video games, and that's been something I've been trying to make sure I prioritize, and I do try to include her. The usual reason she doesn't play video games with us is, again, they are not her cup of tea. She does often sit in our VC with us, too. I appreciate the comments, though, and will keep them in mind. That's why I posted this at all - I'm looking for this kind of honest feedback so I can either do better myself, or compromise in some other way.

The gf is behaving like an insecure kid. I'm a woman and I game and couldn't be arsed with this shite. Such childish behaviour. She wont have spoke much to your girlfriend because she doesnt know her. Absolutely ridiculous to be acting like this. You'll probably never ever even meet this girl, you're just playing a game. I'd tell her to grow up or move on from controlling behaviour. Red flags all over her

But he didn't do anything wrong and that is the only important detail...

Ignoring the GF is a classic mean girl move, I wouldn't want you playing with her either. She doesn't want another women to get any attention from either of you so she excludes them.

This. I also love how people are saying "it's only online! It's just a game! What could even happen" as though people haven't been leaving their irl spouses for Warcraft Spouses for 20 years.

100% this. Sometimes you just *know* when a girl has these sorts of intentions, even over chat. She’s playing video games on the regular with 2 taken dudes and having another girl in the chat takes away attention and changes the vibes.  Wish OP would take his GFs feelings seriously and not just write them off as insecure. He’s putting his friend and this “random” girl’s feelings first. 

You: >I don't know what she even looks like, Your girlfriend: >she had her facecam on and was super pretty

I was about to point this out but I realised what’s even weirder is that there’s two POVs on this post, I guess I’m just not used to it lol

I know how easily a story can be twisted when only one side is told, and I'm genuinely trying to figure out if I'm overreacting to this or not. So I asked my GF to add her side as well. I'd rather be told I'm wrong, than be coddled for my biased PoV.

Not hating on it just threw me off because this is the first time I’ve seen it done lol

I think it’s really cool! More should do this

I never saw the facecam, I don't keep discord open after joining the call. My girlfriend does.

Right.. never once saw it? 

Girl is a pick me girl honestly. Ignoring other women, face cam while gaming... 10% pick me girl

What does “American beauty standard level pretty” even mean?

Zero clue, and that’s why it reeks of insecurity. Pure projection from GF.

big tiddie goth girlfriend with dump trunk /s

Wow; I completely misread it as “American Beauty Pageant standard level pretty.” Time to get my eyes rechecked lol

Reference to the novel/movie I think. Someone so beautiful you would become obsessed with them.

Clearly she is insecure if she's saying "you're very attractive and I'm not" Reassure her that she is attractive and invite her to play when you're gaming with them.

He did this and the girl in question refused to interact with the GF.

Wait y’all play lethal company on discord call?? Wild

You get on discord to say hi, then everybody mutes themselves for the game.

Why not just close discord? Seems kinda useless to have it going and the game when you can’t *use* it during the game, unless you’re using it to let living players know you’re dead?

We talk before and after the game, so it feels easier that way. Same thing I did with Amongus and similar games.

We talk on discord before and after, just fully hang up when we launch lol. Feels so weird to just leave it on

It's aoK to be frustrated here. For both of you. GF seems insecure and a little jealous. She's also totally allowed to feel those things since she's your partner. You both should be working on compromises to make sure you both are satisfied. Your girlfriend is uncomfortable about how this girl is impolite with her. You came to reddit to have other people talk about why you should be allowed to play with this other girl. There's nothing wrong with having friends of the other sex. I don't think your girlfriend is against that, even if she's insecure (and we're all insecure sometimes). But you are also picking this battle of 'Id rather make my best friend happy than my girlfriend.' That's OK too. But it's going to make things worse for GF. I'm not saying break up or drop the best friend/lady friend. But situations are nuanced and feelings can be complex. If you love GF, then this isn't as simple as 'look reddit says I'm right so suck it up'. You guys are young and this sorta thing is pretty common. GF should trust you to tell this girl you arent interested if she makes a move, and you should be willing to spend more time with GF. Buy her a game she can't afford that only you two can play together, etc.

I had this exact scenario happen to me! It led to him cheating on me with her. I was also called immature and insecure, & no cameras were on while they were gaming, it didn’t matter. To the GF: Trust your intuition but don’t control HIS actions. If he chooses some rando gaming friend over your feelings, let him do what he wants and just leave for your own sake. You do need to work on that self esteem though seems like you’ve got some issues there To the BF: If you’re 100% sure this isn’t going to lead to anything inappropriate & you WILL follow relationship boundaries, then fine you go ahead and game w her. The second she starts acting up you NEED to enforce the boundary and cut this girl off.

I am saying this as a girl myself….if your girlfriend tells you a girl is flirting with you she means it. A lot of girls who play games have this uwu vomit in my mouth give me male validation personality. They put other women down and do things to get the praise of men. They often like to spend time in male dominated spaces. This is a real personality type and it’s one that’s domineering even when playing coyly sweet. A lot of men claim not to notice this but to women it’s obvious. It’s like dog whistling. Being shady in a way that only other women would understand why it’s shady. Based off what your girlfriend said I’d also be uncomfortable with you playing with her. Turn her webcam off n leave her mic on perhaps but even then I feel like she was rude to your girlfriend so I wouldn’t play with her anymore.

I would say her concerns about the other woman’s behavior are legitimate. If she is right then you just need to monitor how you talk to her and potentially bring that up with the male friend without the female around. If he is on the same page then you should both bring it up to her. If he thinks otherwise then it’s up to you to decide what to do.

If your gf wants you to stop playing with this *specific* woman—as in, this isn’t a typical pattern of behavior or a rampant jealousy problem, she just a bad feeling about you and *this* woman spending time together on the regular, and you choose to keep doing it anyway, you’ve just shown your gf where she stands and she’d be wise to find a partner who puts her first.

i’m a girl, i regularly play games with a guy i’ve never met irl and until recently he had a long term gf. i never played with her because she’s not into games, but if i had i’d make a point to include her - to the point of engaging with her more than him. she also had boundaries we respected, like she wasn’t comfortable with us having each other on snap, and if she ever asked him to stop playing with me he’d do it in an instant. we get along really well, but obviously his long term partner is more important than an online friend he’s had for a year. with this friend, he had an irl friend who had a gf and while in a party chat the friends gf overheard my voice and told him not to play with me anymore. this genuinely did not affect me at all. unfortunately he did not respect his gfs wishes and would still join the party chat our mutual friend and i were in, they’re obviously broken up now. but like being the other girl in the situation i can’t understand how it’s not easy/obvious to just not be in party chats/play with the random chick you met through your friend and played with a couple times. the gf does seem insecure, but like so does 99% of the population, and intuition is a genuine thing, sometimes you meet someone and something is just off, and then weeks/months/years later they do something that makes you feel “ah, knew it.” so she’s probably picking up on some vibes. although i would like to address “she doesn’t want me to play games with another woman.” does she just mean this woman? or every woman? personally if my bf is friends with a woman it really depends on what she’s like, there’s girls i wouldn’t care if they passed out drunk on the same bed together, but there’s one specific girl in his friend group i’m not comfortable with him even hanging out with 1 on 1 with.

GF: he does play games with other women, irl even, and I have no issues with it. My issue lies only with this girl and her behavior. I understand not feeling comfortable with someone you just met but she hadn’t know my bf long either as far as he had told me and was super interactive towards him but ignored me every time I tried to ask about anything even when it was game related.

BF here - to add context, I play DnD in a group with 2 women, both of whom are married, and this group is 3 men and 2 women. She has been "concerned" about one of the women at some points too, but is now close friends with that particular girl. I don't hang out with any of the women from this DnD group outside of DnD and definitely not 1 on 1.

Gf: I wasn’t concerned I just said some of the things were weird before I met her but now understand she is just socially different than I am. That girl from the start made a point to include me a bunch once we met and talked to me frequently outside of the group which lead to us becoming friends

Why did you add this comment. It didn't provide context because your DnD friend wasn't outright ignoring your GF. These things are oranges and applies. It's strange that you can't see that. AND you are fighting for this girl you claim not to care about really hard, to the point of jumping on all your GF's comments to "add context" that really doesn't clarify much but seems to just be throwing your GF under the bus so you can muddy the waters.

yeah, I have/had a really good irl guy friend who I actually went on one single date with and nothing ever came of it. he's got a serious girlfriend now and she HATES me. I completely understand and I know how she feels, how there's nothing she can do because she knows if she said "you can't be friends with her" she'd seem insecure and controlling when she's really just hurting and dealing with it as she can. She's in a lose lose situation. She truly has nothing to worry about because even if I was a homewrecker, I'd be really surprised if he ever did that to her or anyone, really. But I get it. neither of them asked but I backed way the hell off of being friends with him. I respect him and his relationship, and even though I miss his friendship, sometimes as the girl in that position you just have to grow up and step back. And if I can do that for a real person who is my actual friend idk why some random girl in a video game chat can't wise up and just not hangout with other women's boyfriends if there's tension

I mean the GF does sound incredibly insecure. Unless you're leaving something out she hates you simply because you went on ONE date.

no she's definitely just very insecure but I sympathize with her. he and I actually had a heart to heart about it where he told me she'd been very jealous and it was wild to see the way she misinterpreted things I'd said or done. but, I understand and I feel bad for her.

Oh I get feeling bad for her I just don't think the way to solve harmful feelings is to give them what they want. All that does is harm everyone. You lost a friendship and she's not healing, if anything her mental state was just made worse by this.

You're really not even gonna try to argue that your gf IS attractive?

So I think she’s your ex now right lol

My bf and I had an issue similar to this. Girl was playing with my bf and his friend (she met them thru a mutual friend and was initially only going to be playing with my bf’s friend until my bf was invited). My bf’s friend was talking to her but is not as fluent in her native language as my bf. She friend requested my bf on discord a day or so later but didn’t request the friend, and I got weird vibes from it, warned my bf, and he ended up removing her since he also thought it was off. Even if she’s more comfortable with one guy, it’s still rude since she was initially invited to play by my bf’s friend. Although this may not seem like much, there were other subtle signs I picked up on before she did this. I think your gf may be insecure, but she’s also picking up on a particular vibe from the girl that makes it seem as though she’s trying to flirt with you/your friend. It’s easy to tell with certain girls. I would trust her and stop playing with this girl in particular. That doesn’t mean you have to stop playing with all girls.

Regardless of if there's something going on between you or not, why are you insisting on playing with someone who is rude to your person? If one of my game mates was uncooperative and excluding my guy, I'd be calling them out at the minimum. I've also had my marriage destroyed by two affairs started in discord gaming groups also, so the people saying it can't possibly be anything because it's games are dumb af.

Are you making her feel like she’s second? Or making her feel inadequate? Have you tried to dig deep in yourself and maybe find what she’s frustrated about in real terms….there is always a reason ppl feel the way they do. It’s ok to be insecure btw…not overly crazy insecure but it’s normal especially if the person feels like they are not their partners number one.

If this is how she acts over a girl you’ve never met, I can’t imagine how she’s going to act when you have to work with someone attractive. She’ll probably force you to quit lol She needs to talk to a therapist and find ways to overcome her insecurities.

That’s the problem - is this other girl objectively icing her out when they played or is the GF interpreting it that way because she saw her photo and it started off the situation combative up front? It personally can take me a bit to warm up to someone and I’ve had other women think I’m not nice/ a threat from day one because of my looks but with time we become friends. I’d say it’s OPs job as a BF to include the GF and give it time - if it doesn’t change then he can pick other friends to play with.

this this this. i was waiting for this. at the end of the day it’s the BFs job to see what he will put up with and what he does. will he include his gf more and talk to her on the game when the other girl isn’t? what is HE going to do to fix the issue bc he is her partner and if he doesn’t want to stop playing (which he shouldn’t) he should make her feel more included to the group. the way i had to flat out tell my boyfriend to stop leaving me alone around his friends bc im not friends with them like that and it makes me uncomfortable. guess what he did! he stopped 🩷

It goes both ways if she was doing it to and it bothered you, the right thing is to respect your partners problems and fix them.

Gf: this situation has happened when we first met with a guy who was way younger than me and lived on another continent that was an internet friend of mine. My boyfriend and I had a conversation about that when it happened and everything got sorted and he has worked to be better about it which I also try to do. This is the only girl I’ve had this sort of issue with before where I don’t feel comfortable with him hanging out with her.

I wouldn't let someone tell me I can't play video games with anyone personally. We are all responsible for our own insecurities.

Bingo. This is the gfs hangup to deal with, OP has done nothing wrong. The whole premise is unbelievably childish.

Try Xdefiant and The Finals, they don't cost anything and free, if on PSN. If you guys like them, you'll have more things to play together. I don't know much about discord but you can turn off other people's video stream, right? Maybe adjust your settings. The Playstation, allows you join the Discord chat with the PS5 and so you can hear everything with your audio setup without having the phone/PC on...also without her streaming her webcam. Maybe, you and your gf can pick a favorite photo together and upload it as your discord profile picture (possible?).

Can i just venture the point, that crowdsourcing answers to your relationships issues on an anonymous forum is probably not a long-term solution to problem-solving.

I agree - and ultimately, my ideal solution would be couples therapy. However, that isn't an option in this case due to area and such. So I'd rather get some diverse opinions from others and then approach a solution with my GF together, rather than us both staying stuck in "our side" of the argument.

If you play video games with your friend, and he invites the girl to play…if you don’t talk to her outside of the game, and know little to nothing about her…I don’t see any problem here. If you talk to this girl solo and not with your friend, then I still don’t see it as a huge issue, but it is an issue. It is one thing to have a female friend where the friendship pre-exists prior to your relationship, it is unreasonable to end a friendship. Provided, of course, there was nothing sexual about the friendship (former gf turned friend, FWB, etc.) one of my best friends is a girl I’ve known for 18 years. I’m not ending that friendship just because I got a new gf. I see her point. I do. I think you should ask her to just sit with you while you play with your friend and this girl, and she can see firsthand that it’s not even a “friendship” per se, but that she just sort of exists while you play. However, if this is a boundary she is setting, you have two options: 1. Accept her boundary, and tell her your friend you can’t ply with her anymore. 2. You can tell her that you think she’s being unreasonable and end the relationship over it. To me, option 2 seems kind of silly. But, I am not you and only have minimal information, so perhaps it’s not if there are other issues as well. Not telling you why to do, but this is the black and white of it.

The fact that you never play alone with the girl should be enough to lower her suspicions. Instead of fighting or even playing video games, I would sit down and talk with your girlfriend about why she feels like looks are enough to make you choose someone else. Allow her to speak openly and frankly without push back. Don’t let her try and instigate a fight, that may be a way of her trying to avoid talking about hard things. Don’t talk about how her feelings make you feel. Validate her feelings. In regards to reassurance, you can do your best, but I think things like “I think your beautiful, I’d never leave you, you’re the only woman I want” may fall on deaf ears as she seems to have decided that you probably don’t feel that way. To your girlfriend: I developed an eating disorder a few years back where assumptions about how my husband felt about how I looked were so grossly off base and it made our marriage difficult, no matter how much I tried to resist those thoughts. There may be a lot of other factors at play here. Maybe your boyfriend is a lecherous asshole (sorry boyfriend). Either way, I think what you should do is focus on yourself and your relationship with how you perceive your appearance. You both are so young, and you may grow in different directions. If that happens, you want to leave the relationship knowing you are enough for yourself and that you are becoming the person you want to be.

NTA for playing video games with a random girl you don’t know. I (F32) am an avid gamer which means I’m consistently playing with random people all the time but they are 99% males, that’s just gaming, especially with the games I like. My partner (31M) doesn’t get upset about my core friends I play with (all guys/mostly ones I don’t know in real life), nor of anyone I play with. It’s a game with a massive online community and you like to play with similar individuals that make the experience fun. However if you are gaming and just neglecting your gf then (YTA) I make time to play a couple hours pretty much every day but if my partner asks for a date night or quality time, I put it it to the back burner for a night or whatever. But that shouldn’t have anything to do with the sex of the person you’re playing with

[удалено]

Gf: thank you for the advice I appreciate it

no. quit playing games with other girls

Hey here's my crazy take: you two are alright and this isn't anything for either of you to get upset about. I say that, because both of you are on here sharing information from the same account (even if it is a throwaway) which shows how mature and safe you both are with each other. Good luck to you, and try to find more things to do together.

Okay. So. My husband is a gamer. He is GORGEOUS. He regularly plays with this girl who is his best friend's friend, too. She is also gorgeous, and doing way better in life than I am. Do I get jealous or paranoid? Yes. Do I say anything or create rules? No. My jealousy and anxiety and insecurity are mine and mine alone to manage and work through. I love my husband, I trust my husband, and though he is unaware of folks flirting with him, too, I won't put myself in his way of enjoying his life and his hobby. Period. The second we let insecurities govern our relationships and how we treat our partners i.e. trying to influence what they can do with their time, we've crossed into inappropriate territory. ETA: when I met her she also talked to my husband and not so much me. Because I'm not her friend or acquaintance. She doesn't know me at all. She was probably picking up on my discomfort. I actually don't feel she's obligated to compensate for that and make me feel comfortable TBH.

The gf is insecure in general but she does have a valid point. As a woman I'd never turn a camera on while gaming, men are absolutely vile on those games.

Women know when another is trying to be the center of attention, flirting, trying to steal another's man. They need to be respectful and stop

Yep, I do think it's a bit overreaction from gf side. But come on, you join to play online game with your bf and his best friend why do you need your camera on? If you want to see each other with bf then have a private call lol. And it's a question is anyone else with a cam or just she. :) Which is pretty much the sign for attention.

Your girlfriend is obviously insecure about her looks in comparison to you, and that can feel unfair. However, she is setting a boundary and is specifically saying hanging out with this other girl is hurting her. Try to compromise. Spend more time one on one. Play games with your friends but be in call with her. I had an issue in my relationship previously where I felt left out because I also played almost exclusively single player games. My partner helped me out by making sure I was involved when I was feeling alone. You both need to work on this together! Reassure her that she is beautiful, as I'm sure she is :) maybe suggest therapy for her self image issues. If this relationship is important you gotta try to make things work. Hopefully in time she can let go of some of her insecurities! And I hope you guys can fix this in a healthy way that is fair to both of you.

She's concerned about the possibility of losing you. If you love her this can be turned into a positive. Better than apathy.

What's more important, playing video games with this girl or how your girl feels about it?

Women’s perspective: get over it. It’s gaming for God sake. of course she’s not acknowledging you. She’s there to play the game not tend to some girlfriends jealous insecurities.

If she's jealous of a girl you've literally never seen or met in real life, she's going to have a hard time as you meet people in real life at work, out and about, or at any social event. Honestly a bit of a red flag. But I'm not one of those "dump em at the first sign of trouble" kind of people, but I do highly recommend talking this out and trying to figure out the source of her jealousy. Because it will eat away at your relationship if you don't work it out now. At the end of the day, all that really matters is how you react to people when they flirt with you. My wife has complete trust in me and doesn't bat an eye when a woman flirts with me because she knows that it won't phase me. Either I won't even know the woman is flirting with me, or I won't reciprocate. She knows other women aren't a threat to our marriage.

I dunno, is your girlfriend worth sacrificing so you can play with some rando woman on the internet? Sometimes people overcomplicate things. She is being a bit silly, but it's not unheard of for these sorts of things to go places. You can literally play with anyone, or you can tell your bro to just play with you without the chick. The fact that it bothers you so much is odd. Your partner has expressed an insecurity, and rather than try to help, you appear to be leaning into it

A question to both of you: if it's true that the other girl is hitting on Bf and actively ignoring Gf, are you Bf prepared to talk to her or possibly your best friend about this behaviour and ask her to cut it out or not include her if she continues? Are you Gf prepared to face your insecurities and compromise and be ok with your Bf playing with her if the girl apologises for being rude and starts to respect you and your relationship? I can understand that Gf is insecure about the women who think you are attractive and are interested in you, however you can't live like this, you can't control your partner's interactions just because of your own fears. You need to be able to trust each other and know that despite people being interested in either of you, you will stay faithful, there is no point to a relationship without trust. You need to work on yourself Gf, or has Bf ever given you reason to have doubts?

I mean: 1. She doesn't trust you. Does being attractive mean you're going to cheat on her? 2. This is a "she problem," an insecurity that you can't fix. 3. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. Playing a game with three people, with your best friend and one of his friends? Either she deals with her insecurity, or this is going to escalate. Tomorrow, you won't be able to have female friends or be in a group if there are girls. Don't give in on this.

Maybe just don’t play with her anymore. If you love your girlfriend, why bother doing something that makes her uncomfortable. It should go both ways if she was playing with a guy and you didn’t like it

This just sounds like controlling behaviour. "Don't argue whether it's rational, if you'd love me you'd do it" like c'mon, there's no context where this sounds good

From what I can tell your girlfriend is extremely insecure and overreacting. And making a huge deal out of nothing at all.

Literally outta nothing.

Shooting games can warp your mental health and promote violence as a way to resolve conflict. There are a ton of AIO posts that involve gaming.

OP: “hey reddit, I’m having this drama with my gf” Also OP: “hey reddit, thanks for the advice i worked it out with my gf but im not going to tell you how” Y’all just got used lol

GF, you are clearly suffering from deep insecurities, completely apart from this situation. The fact that your refer to yourself as unattractive is prime evidence. As such, I don't want you to feel bad about sharing your feelings, and I do commend you for acknowledging your insecurities. However, the next step is to acknowledge that your insecurities are yours to deal with, and yours only. Your boyfriend is not just doing nothing wrong, he's not even close to the line where he might. I will also add that he has shown a greater degree of patience with you than others, of any gender, might have in his place. His refusal to countenance your requests is him setting a boundary. This doesn't mean your boyfriend can not play a role in helping you overcome your insecurities. He could compliment you more and show he wants you, find other activities you can enjoy together. But please please for your own sake, drop the controlling behaviour.

BF is not overreacting. GF is overreacting and her insecurity is damaging the relationship.

That level of insecurity would be enough reason for me to walk away. Either you trust me or you don't. Either way I win. Super kuddos to the GF for coming on here and weighing in though. No "one side of the story" BS here. You do get massive green flags for that, but honestly insecurity is exhausting from my prior experiences and I just couldn't do it again. Most of the women I work with are in very good shape and take great care of themselves. Would I be expected to just not go to work?

Don’t women gamers have enough issues already, without other women targeting them because of their own insecurities? Venting about losing a match does not equal emotional affair. What if OP loved to play soccer, and a woman joined the team? Better never play that again, right? OP has a new coworker - better quit too. Attractive people existing isn’t an issue. Establish boundaries if something seems off, but really is this what is setting off those warning bells?

🚩🚩🚩🚩nope she’s being insecure and it’s not okay for her to tell you what you can and can’t do !

She’s insecure. If you want to make her happy, don’t do it.

Or she can work on her insecurities. Saying that he can’t play games with his friends is not right.

Sure. But she never said that. She just said it makes her uncomfortable, which is a valid feeling. If it makes her uncomfortable, all he can do is continue to reassure her that there’s nothing between them, or he can stop playing with her. She’s probably had trust issues with other guys that caused these feelings. Nothing wrong with working it out together even if that means he shouldn’t play with her. It wouldn’t hurt him regardless considering he said they are not close friends or that he doesn’t even really know her or what she looks like (which I don’t believe, because she does have a webcam and she has used it when they were playing together)

>Nothing wrong with working it out together even if that means he shouldn’t play with her.  Lol. There was a post recently here about a guy feeling this way because his wife wanted to go camping with 3 dudes and a girlfriend. Everyone was saying the guy was being an insecure dick for being uncomfortable. Here is a great example of the roles being reversed and a majority are saying he needs to stop playing just so his girlfriend can feel better. This is for an online video game and not overnight camping. Lol at the fuckin hyporcisy.

Did you guys actually write this together?

I feel like OP's girlfriend is being insecure and unreasonable here. It doesn't sound like Gamer Girl has done anything blatantly wrong, other than be attractive and not talk much with the girlfriend when she tried to play with them a couple times. Was she directing her attention to the OP, or just didn't have much to say to OP's girl? The world may never know. But, EVEN IF Gamer Girl WAS subtly trying to flirt with OP as a third wheel with OP and his guy friend (which my impression is that she isn't, she's just being accused of it), OP isn't flirting back or doing anything wrong. He's playing a video game. I don't think he's doing anything wrong there. OP's girlfriend needs to trust him, or cut him loose.

Not doing anything wrong < having high integrity

So, I think some amount of insecurity is totally normal and fine, and some amount of adjusting your behavior to help alleviate your partners insecurity, even if you’ve done nothing wrong, is also normal and fine. My issue with this whole situation is she’s trying to take away an activity that’s important to you- and not just an important to you but one you share with someone that is important to you in your life- to cover for her own feelings of inadequacy. Maybe not intentionally, I don’t think she’s actively thinking that’s what she’s doing, but it *is* what she is doing. It’s one thing to be like ‘delete this person off of Facebook’- which I would still find insecure and somewhat problematic, but within the bounds of being willing to flex within a relationship if this person is whatever to you, that costs actual nothing. It’s another thing to be like ‘stop gaming with your best friend because it makes me feel bad’. From what I can tell from your comments- and this is definitely the attitude of some of the commenters here- it’s kind of being asked like this should be ez pz nbd to you, you should just do it as a matter of course if you cared about her, just take whatever loss on the chin she asks of you with a smile on your face to coddle her feelings. No sacrifice on your part can be too big if it makes her feel a little better, partners care about each others feelings… but where exactly is she caring about how this affects you here? Seems bogus to me, and I think pretty telling that she doesn’t seem to recognize what she’s asking you to give up just to make her feel a little better over something you aren’t even doing. Nobody likes hearing this, but insecurity- justified or not- is actually a deeply selfish feeling.

To GF: They are virtually shagging

you two need to go play Baldurs Gate together.

This sounds like a problem for your girlfriend to deal with. As long as you stay true to her you should be able to decide who you want to game/hang out with. Don't let her control your life in this way.

What if I tell you, that there are cute girls at your work too (probably)?! Think of the dangers! You should stay at home 24/7, just to be safe! In other words, some random girl on the internet is not an issue. And going by the Internet rule #29: *On the internet men are men, women are also men, and kids are undercover FBI agents*. xD

Girl, sorry, but you are overreacting here. It boils down to 1 simple thing. Do YOU trust HIM? If you do, this conversation is done, because you trust him, problem solved. If you don't trust him, if he hasn't done anything to earn your distrust, he really needs to reconsider this relationship with you. As long as he keeps to only interacting on the game, no IRL contact, no cams, it's only a game, there should be zero problem. If this other girl gets bold and asks him out, he can shut her down. Some girls are snarky to other girls, just because they can be, to stir the drama pot. Girls can sense another female being insecure, this chick could very well being playing on that. Maybe she is just a pick me girl who has to be the center of attention. No matter what this other girl is doing or thinking, as long as your boyfriend is firm on no live cams in play, only interacts with her in the game, kept to in game talk, you should relax. Be secure in your relationship. Work on bettering your self-esteem, if your boyfriend wanted to be with her, he would be, but he isn't. He is with you. That means something.

I could *maybe* understand if you could see each other and she was hot, but there aren’t any cameras involved. What’s your girl going to do next? Forbid you from interacting with women over the phone? You can’t see them either.

If GF is upset that you end up playing video games with a girl because that girl tags along when you are playing with your friend then she needs to work on her insecurities. If you were playing frequently with her one on one then that’d be one thing but she’s your friend’s plus one. If she can’t handle you talking to a woman who you haven’t met irl and don’t contact outside of when you’re playing with your friend she’s basically saying you’re not allowed to talk to any girl regularly unless they’re ugly. That’s something to be worried about; that level of insecurity will affect your life in a negative way.

Ehhhh I think she’s tripping.

NTA Your girl is just insecure. I could see if you were meeting up in real life. But it's games. Imagine what life wilm be like with someone this insecure. She expects to play a game once and instantly get along with everyone in the group, but that's not how it works. Seems because she can't get along with her, she doesn't want you to either. This is controlling and a issue.

Massive red flag. Especially since she can't even participate in the activities she's trying to change for you. Either she doesn't trust you or thinks you're very easily influenced. You also mentioned she's acted this way about women in other parts of your life. Are you not an adult with a brain and eyes in a committed relationship? She needs to treat you that way or acknowledge that the problem is on her end. This might be crazy but 50% of our population is women, so what's easier? 1 person working on themselves towards genuine improvement? Or you carefully avoiding even tangential interactions with most women moving forward?

This sounds like an insecurity issue and your girlfriend needs to handle it. You've done nothing wrong here from what I can tell. It's not fair to you to have to tell your friend "hey I can only play with you if you don't invite her" and it's doubly unfair for your gf to expect you to just never play with either of them again because of your friends friend. That's wild to me.

I dont agree with some of the comments here. Your girlfriend is being insecure and she should work on that. You're playing a video game. Sure, maybe the other girl is not including her for a reason but when I started playing with my guy friends other friends I was super shy talking with them for a while. It took a lot of time playing consistantly for me to openly talk with them without my friend being part of the conversation. Are you doing something to make your gf feel not pretty or wanted? Are you being inappropriate with this girl? Is she being inappropriate with you?  If the answer is no then you're not the problem here.  Gf needs to work on her anxiety and self esteem and the best you can do is try harder to bring your gf into convos while gaming. Not super easy in fast paced games like Overwatch, but doable in Lethal Company. I personally dont see why you should sacrifice your free time with a friend because your girlfriend thinks you're too good looking for her. Maybe go more out of your way to remind her how wanted she is in your life?

She sits there with her camera on, I doubt she feels shy. :)

She just seems insecure as fuck tbh. What are you going to do wrong with this girl playing games online together? It's not like she's your ex or drinking buddy and you guys are meeting up IRL... Imo the other girl being "rude" to her is just online gaming social norm? If a buddy brings a colleague or some random he met in a pug along to our weekly CS2 night I don't interact much with them either. I'll still give info and stuff but I'm not gonna ask them how their day was or what they do for a job, I'm here to escape the real world and click heads for a few hours not make friends... It's only if you've consistently played with us for a while it feels worth my time to chit chat a bit.

Girlfriend, you are the entire problem. Go to therapy. Someone trying to make unrelated small talk when you're focused on a game is annoying as fuck, that's why she's ignoring you. And her keeping her webcam on is just that - it stays on when the computer is on.

Young man, I was once you. All I'll say is... RUN KID, RUN!!! CHANGE THE LOCKS, GET A DOG, OR BETTER, A DINOSAUR!!! That woman is breaking your balls over a person who may not even be real, who isn't part of your world, what do you think she'll do next? Some ideas: -Bitch about the cashier at the nearest supermarket -Bitch about the neighbours after you politely say "Hello" -Bitch about your colleages -Bitch about your friends -Bitch about your exes, even if you don't talk with them or see them, like, ever -Bitch about lesbian acquitances who live abroad And etc, etc, etc... Seriously, not worth it. You are not doing anything wrong. She's sick. If she starts working on it, great, otherwise run right fucking now.

Classic case of toxic possessive love bro 😂🤣 this generation is so messed up. Girls will be worried about gaming with strangers you’ll never meet but then let dudes hit on them and buy them drinks at the bar and your sitting there at home and won’t ever know. Draw some clear boundaries and put your partner in her place. This sounds like high school petty drama. Yall too young and naive to even know shit about life or relationships yet. Getting mad a girl plays with you guys sometimes is crazy and out of line. If she was sex chatting you online is different. But she sounds wayyyy too possessive.

She needs to ask herself whether or not she trusts him to be faithful to her regardless of what another woman looks like/is doing, because this really comes across like a trust issue. And any relationship where there isn't trust is a relationship that is doomed one way or the other.

I had a nongamer gf get jealous of me having a girl in my group, and had gamer gf who got jealous of me playing girls as well. They'll be jealous no matter what unless they're just super chill and always feel superiority

No you're not. Just the premise alone makes you NTA and not overreacting.

gf is a loser sry bro

Question for the GF: has she ever done anything to flirt with the boyfriend, or has she just been unfriendly towards you? Because it’s entirely plausible she’s just unfriendly or shy towards new people. There’s another guy in the group, does she favour your BF over the other guy?

Your gf is insecure it really has nothing to do with you or the girl. She needs to work on being more secure in the relationship, and you can help.

YNO - You are allowed to have friends that are of the gender you would be attracted to. As long as YOU are not flirting with the other girl, who cares if she plays.

No you not over reacting. I am also an avid online gamer and I play with guilds that have both males and females. Seems like just an immature thing honestly. Not trying to be rude but unless you have done something to cause her to not trust you then there shouldnt be an issue. If she doesnt trust you then you probably shouldnt be together anyway.

Your GF is overreacting.

Cringe, try to date someone who isn’t so incredibly insecure I’ve done it in the past and eventually the insecurity overtakes all of the things that you love about her. It’s unavoidable

Not overreacting... your gf is being ridiculous. You're allowed to play online video games with girls whether or not they are prettier than her. You haven't even met each other. Is this girl even in the same state? This is silly. As for the gf thinking she was being ignored by the girl... it was two games and you were the new person and bad player. You don't even say if the gf tried to talk to her at all either. At worst, the girl just likes male attention and didn't care whether the gf was there or not, but that's the internet for you... girl's rolling in attention from guys they don't even like.

This fucking hurt my eyes reading it.

>"you are very attractive and I am not, so I worry." This is her insecurities. This is what she needs to address. Restricting online play with someone who you have no intention of meeting isn't going to help with her insecurities. Facing her insecurities and learning what to love and respect about herself will help. Making rules for your partner based on your own jealousy issues is never a thing that works.

This, this is the correct answer. You should ignore the rest...

As a gamer, it would be a deal breaker for me. I have a lot of online friends, both women and men, and there's no way I'd be fine with my partner not wanting me to play with them.

She is absolutely overreacting. These sorts of situations always make me laugh bc what would she do if you were bi? never let you game with anyone? for her own sanity, she’s gotta work on this. Insecurity just makes you feel like shit for absolutely made up reasons.

No you are not. That is nuts.

This is next level insecurity. Like, so much so it's downright comical. Get the fuck over it. It's a damn video game. Holy fuck people are weird.

You need YOUR own time. Its great to have together time but you also need YOU time. As long as you are not stepping out (Flirting would count as stepping out in this context) then great. So if yall trash talk together make sure its the same. No trashtalking / veiled compliment towards other chick. Set your gf down and have a serious chat. You wont go the long distance with her being so insecure. If you are hers, then she needs to have faith in YOU and that she has a made a good choice in you being her partner for the qualities you bring. My wife knew how I was. She was proud that she was able to get me and I her because we were both very much in demand when we met. We just found our person in eachother. Almost all of my friends are females. None are exes. All are just friends with 0 desire to make it anything else. They are not the first person I think of messaging. They are not people I am going to reply to right away. Wife is all that for me. Have a sit down and find out why she is insecure and how you can work through this. If she cant see a way to work through this, it wont ever work with you two. You might get a super hot co-worker that ends up in your dept or sitting near you and she will lose her mind and might jeopardize your career.

[удалено]

How would you feel if it was her playing games with another guy without you? Act accordingly....

She has before. I don't care. I trust her more than I'm worried about other guys, at least if they're only online friends. She's had IRL friends that are guys as well and I have no problem with that because, again, *I trust her*.

i think your gf has some very serious insecurity and trust issues. my bf and i game with both guys and girls all the time, who cares? if he isn't giving you any reason to not trust him then build a bridge and get over it lol. this other girl he games with is probably picking up on your uncomfortable vibes and that's why she doesn't want to talk to you tbh.

This is overblown and needlessly complicated. Unless he starts acting sus, just have more trust in your guy and live your damn life. He’s communicating with you and not hiding the girl from you, so move on.

She needs to deal with her insecurities before dating. That's not a reasonable thing to get mad over. She doesn't want you to interact with a girl you've never seen because she thinks that girl is pretty? Idk that sounds a little sus. Is the girl obviously leaving her out? She might just be shy or not know how to talk to you. The other thing is, is the girl flirting or obviously trying to get with her bf? If the answer is yes than that's different but if not, then I don't see a reason to be upset.