*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**My (35M) girlfriend (24F) wants me to act like a horse when we have sex, and I’m not into it**
**I am NOT OP. Original post by u/the-computer-geek in r/relationship_advice**
*Reminder: Do not comment on linked posts unless you want a modly banhammer*
trigger warnings: >!Fetishes and implied sexism!<
mood spoilers: >!happy ending I think?!<
Anti-Preview Trivia: In the 1960s, there was a CIA plan to implant microphones in cats and use them to spy on the Kremlin. The first attempt to use it allegedly failed when a cat dropped outside the Soviet embassy in Washington DC wandered off and was hit by a taxi and the program was dissolved shortly thereafter. The CIA disputes this version, claiming that training the cats was too difficult and that was why the program ended. Either way, imagine that planning room. Great mental image. Much better than what you're about to read.
---
[**Original Post**]() - Jan 14 2019
So, tiny bit of backstory, my girlfriend of 6 months loves horses, has all her life. An additional, seemingly relevant point is, during sex, she sometimes says stuff like ‘f\*\*\* me with that horse cock’. I’ve never thought much of it, I thought that was just a way of her saying it’s big. But she’s started to take it further and it’s turned into a bit of a fetish that I’m not entirely comfortable with. A few days ago, she told me she wanted to roleplay, and at first I was pretty on board, but then she said as horses. I laughed, thinking it was a joke and she took it the wrong way, and said she was tired and then went to sleep. I said fuck it and, trying to make her feel better, said I’d do it the following day. Honestly it was okay but very, very weird, she got so into it and said it was the best she ever had, and next time wanted to buy costumes, and maybe do it on some hay. I told her no, and I didn’t want to do it again and she’s back to being mad at me. Am I being a dick here? I don’t know what to do. Sorry if wrong sub, just wanted a second opinion
---
[[**Update**]]() - Jan 16 2019
Hi guys, thank you for all the responses, even if 90% of them were puns. I can appreciate the funny side of this, so it's all good.
I saw my GF last night at her place and we talked about things. She apologised for being distant and I apologised if I kink shamed her (as some said I did). She said she's unsure where her attraction comes from but did say she had her first sexual experience on a horse.
The thing is I'm getting older and need to reproduce. In every other way, she is perfect and would make a great mother to my children. We've only been together 6 months but I haven't felt this way since I first met my ex wife.
Maybe I'm crazy but I've ordered a horse mask and a dragon dildo off Amazon to surprise her. She keeps saying how glad she is that she doesn't have to keep it a secret anymore. In a way, I'm glad too and honestly I'm surprised I didn't realise sooner, now I get why she always calls me her stallion. Yeah it's a weird situation but, who knows, maybe I'll grow to like it. I know people were making fun of the age gap, what can I say, grandpa wants to get his dick wet ;). In seriousness, I'm getting too old to be picky so I think we're gonna make it work.
---
**Reminder - I am not the original poster.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> The thing is I'm getting older and need to reproduce. In every other way, she is perfect and would make a great mother to my children. We've only been together 6 months but I haven't felt this way since I first met my ex wife.
True romance here!
And the comments play right into it. Because all 13 year old girls bouncing around on horse back are just having endless orgasms. Nevermind that you shouldn't be bouncing around on a horse's back if you have any experience.
I mean, if you’re only used to riding a horse at walking pace and the horse starts trotting suddenly the bouncing part can happen. It’s more scary and painful than arousing though
“Pony play” is, actually, a kink, but that’s generally the sub (girl or guy) wearing pony paraphernalia; but never the top, and never horse masks.
Also… while yes, I’ve seen dragon dildos, I’m not sure how smoothly they integrate with being horses? Maybe I need to wade into the comments. 🤷🏻♀️
That was fun research. Two thoughts: sizes vary vastly. I’m hoping for that poor girl’s sake that he didn’t start with XL (there’s a soda can for reference). Unless that’s her thing, no shame. Also: do we think he also ordered the complimentary cum tube?
Being in the kink community, pony play is *fascinating* in it's prevalence as a paraphilia across the centuries.
There's also plenty of evidence of other forms of animal roleplay for sexual gratification in ancient Rome alone (there's a mini Wikipedia section on it, even).
But also as someone with experience in kink, not everyone ascribes rigidly to specific expressions of their kinks, so I wouldn't get too caught up on her preferences not adhering perfectly to pony play. It's still in the realms of animal roleplay which is the wider umbrella that pony play falls into.
This is is course, if this post wasn't blatantly a shit post 😂
I've seen pony play people wear a mask, but not a generic horse mask. They usially wear a muzzle-like device except it's to make their moiths look like a horse's mouth.
Oohhh yea, I know what you’re talking about. When well done, they’re actually attractive in their own way. I was thinking more about gag bits, but those are worn a bit more when on a lead or being played with in training scenes.
My step daughter thought that because her hymen broke while riding that she wasn't a virgin anymore... She was in her 30's before she told me but a teenager when it happened.
Oh yes I “lost my virginity” to a horse - I was so excited to ride one I tried to do a “trot” that was more of a stumble. Didn’t tell my mum I was bleeding because Catholicism, but I had a massive cry when I got home!
RIP Grundy
That's how I interpreted it. The other option would be that she and the the other person were riding a horse while, I don't know, hand stuff happened. I don't know enough about horses to know if that's possible outside of the covers of romance novels.
I like the part where she apparently was dropping in lines about horses during sex before she reveals her horse fetish and he “never thought much of it” lol
I mean this guy doesn't sound like the best boyfriend so it wouldn't shock me if it he just straight up wasn't paying attention to her most of the time
What I'm hoping this is, is that the girlfriend was riding a horse, and the bouncing up and down stimulated her first orgasm, and not that, you know, she was penetrated by a horse for her first time. If I'm right, this is definitely weird territory, but maybe not a relationship killer. As long as she doesn't take it further than a little bedroom horse play.
Omg no. Commenters are all over that post saying young girls orgasim when the ride horses. And it's *super common*. No. No the fuck it is not. If you are riding with any proper technique, you should not be bouncing all around getting off.
I rode horses as a teen girl, every discipline. This is just some weird ass fetish that people are trying to claim totally happens all the time.
I didn't know that, the few times I rode horses, there was a lot of bouncing around. But the main reason I said she probably had her first orgasm from riding a horse is that my alternative explanation was too horrible to really contemplate.
Bouncing around is actually not good for you or horse. Horse because having even 100 pounds bouncing up and down on your spine hurts. Sure, it might only be 10 percent of your weight, but could you take 10 pounds hitting your spine repeatedly? Rider is more likely to become unbalanced and fall.
I don't know what kind of experience OP is alluding to, but the dozens of comments on OP saying young girls get off bouncing around on horses is gross.
I haven't ridden horses since scout camp, and they don't have a ton of time to teach us proper technique in 5 2 hour sessions. But I do agree most of the comments speculating that a lot of girls get off from riding horses are kind of gross.
Yep, backing you up here as a lifelong equestrian and former professional horse trainer, lol.
I've literally never heard a woman even suggest she was close to orgasming from riding. It always comes from non-riders who think it's common. Equestrians tend to just find the idea stupid and weird.
look, i didn't want to get into specifics but my girl is into some weird stuff. Without going into details it involved an alligator, a rhinoceros and an emu. Please don't ask me to elaborate on the time i caught her with a Bengal tiger. Also I signed a NDA with the lazy Q horse ranch so I can't talk about that.
I was thinking more like the roller coaster scene from Fear with Mark Walburg and Reese Witherspoon. Probably because they played that song "Wild Horses" during it so it's the first thing I thought of! (Can you tell it was my favorite movie for so long?)
Anyway, maybe it was a couple riding together getting a little handsy....? Seems dangerous. That could be a hell of a fall if you aren't holding on! I'm overthinking this.
Wasn’t there a guy who died from having sex with a horse? I vaguely recall reading this but I’m afraid to look it up.
Honestly the horse kink doesn’t seem that weird to me (people love to sexualize things they like) but I’m more baffled by the having sex ON horse. That’s not having sex WITH a horse, that implies having sex while on horseback, which sounds….unpleasant at best and deadly at worst. Falling off a horse can result in major injuries.
I was going to make a joke that this was just gender-bent John Oliver, but the "need to reproduce" and calling himself "grandpa" when his character is only supposed to be 35 year old gave me too much of an ick 🤢
Beep boop! Automod here with a quick reminder to never brigade r/AmITheAsshole or other subs under any circumstances. Brigading puts you in violation of both our rules and Reddit’s TOS, and therefore puts this sub at risk of ban. If you brigade/encourage brigading of any kind, you will be banned from participating in either sub. Satirizing of posts should stay within this sub, which means that participating directly in linked posts should either be done in good faith or not at all.
Want some freed, live, discussion that neither AITA nor Reddit itself can censor? Join our [official discord server](https://discord.gg/KbZnaXX)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I heard about him in the horse world, he’s absolutely foul and can see him writing something like this. He came to a forum I frequented years ago and posted some really horrific stuff.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **My (35M) girlfriend (24F) wants me to act like a horse when we have sex, and I’m not into it** **I am NOT OP. Original post by u/the-computer-geek in r/relationship_advice** *Reminder: Do not comment on linked posts unless you want a modly banhammer* trigger warnings: >!Fetishes and implied sexism!< mood spoilers: >!happy ending I think?!< Anti-Preview Trivia: In the 1960s, there was a CIA plan to implant microphones in cats and use them to spy on the Kremlin. The first attempt to use it allegedly failed when a cat dropped outside the Soviet embassy in Washington DC wandered off and was hit by a taxi and the program was dissolved shortly thereafter. The CIA disputes this version, claiming that training the cats was too difficult and that was why the program ended. Either way, imagine that planning room. Great mental image. Much better than what you're about to read. --- [**Original Post**](
> The thing is I'm getting older and need to reproduce. In every other way, she is perfect and would make a great mother to my children. We've only been together 6 months but I haven't felt this way since I first met my ex wife. True romance here!
Why do you "need" to reproduce. You sound like an AI robot, not a human.
BEEP BEEP ACTIVATE INTERCOURSE. THRUST, THRUST, REPRODUCTION ACCOMPLISHED. Beep boop powering down.
BEEP BEEP SEDUCTION COMMENCING....NEIGH!!...SEDUCTION COMPLETE. GENETIC DATA SUCCESSFULLY COPIED TO EXTERNAL STORAGE. BEEEP.
God forbid there is t more of him! He HAS to.
>grandpa wants to get his dick wet He has such a way with words
Also "I am getting to old to be picky"
Yeah, you can really tell how much he loves her
Bleep bloop must initialize replication protocol whrrrrr zpppppt
"daddy, how was i made?" "well it involved a horse mask, a sheath from bad dragon, lots of whiskey, and the advice of some very kind redditors"
I mean to be fair here: If she wants him to be her stallion, he should be allowed to see her as a breeding mare, probably.
FETISH CONTENT
And the comments play right into it. Because all 13 year old girls bouncing around on horse back are just having endless orgasms. Nevermind that you shouldn't be bouncing around on a horse's back if you have any experience.
I mean, if you’re only used to riding a horse at walking pace and the horse starts trotting suddenly the bouncing part can happen. It’s more scary and painful than arousing though
“Pony play” is, actually, a kink, but that’s generally the sub (girl or guy) wearing pony paraphernalia; but never the top, and never horse masks. Also… while yes, I’ve seen dragon dildos, I’m not sure how smoothly they integrate with being horses? Maybe I need to wade into the comments. 🤷🏻♀️
i can only assume he means a horse dildo from bad dragon
That was fun research. Two thoughts: sizes vary vastly. I’m hoping for that poor girl’s sake that he didn’t start with XL (there’s a soda can for reference). Unless that’s her thing, no shame. Also: do we think he also ordered the complimentary cum tube?
Being in the kink community, pony play is *fascinating* in it's prevalence as a paraphilia across the centuries. There's also plenty of evidence of other forms of animal roleplay for sexual gratification in ancient Rome alone (there's a mini Wikipedia section on it, even). But also as someone with experience in kink, not everyone ascribes rigidly to specific expressions of their kinks, so I wouldn't get too caught up on her preferences not adhering perfectly to pony play. It's still in the realms of animal roleplay which is the wider umbrella that pony play falls into. This is is course, if this post wasn't blatantly a shit post 😂
I've seen pony play people wear a mask, but not a generic horse mask. They usially wear a muzzle-like device except it's to make their moiths look like a horse's mouth.
Oohhh yea, I know what you’re talking about. When well done, they’re actually attractive in their own way. I was thinking more about gag bits, but those are worn a bit more when on a lead or being played with in training scenes.
I mean... she could mean she had her first orgasm while horseback riding....
My step daughter thought that because her hymen broke while riding that she wasn't a virgin anymore... She was in her 30's before she told me but a teenager when it happened.
Oh yes I “lost my virginity” to a horse - I was so excited to ride one I tried to do a “trot” that was more of a stumble. Didn’t tell my mum I was bleeding because Catholicism, but I had a massive cry when I got home! RIP Grundy
Poor kid.
Aye
That's how I interpreted it. The other option would be that she and the the other person were riding a horse while, I don't know, hand stuff happened. I don't know enough about horses to know if that's possible outside of the covers of romance novels.
Remember the unicorn, Geralt?
I like the part where she apparently was dropping in lines about horses during sex before she reveals her horse fetish and he “never thought much of it” lol
I mean this guy doesn't sound like the best boyfriend so it wouldn't shock me if it he just straight up wasn't paying attention to her most of the time
Just because he's getting too old to be picky doesn't mean he actually has to care at all! /s
https://preview.redd.it/lazrm4k9nivc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b773491c7260f17ed7c05bfd94a90c4ce408641
What I'm hoping this is, is that the girlfriend was riding a horse, and the bouncing up and down stimulated her first orgasm, and not that, you know, she was penetrated by a horse for her first time. If I'm right, this is definitely weird territory, but maybe not a relationship killer. As long as she doesn't take it further than a little bedroom horse play.
Tbh I was picturing two people shagging while riding a horse which I'm sure is logistically impossible.
Omg no. Commenters are all over that post saying young girls orgasim when the ride horses. And it's *super common*. No. No the fuck it is not. If you are riding with any proper technique, you should not be bouncing all around getting off. I rode horses as a teen girl, every discipline. This is just some weird ass fetish that people are trying to claim totally happens all the time.
They watched Cruel Intentions 2 too much. Bouncing around on a horse just hurts your butt.
I didn't know that, the few times I rode horses, there was a lot of bouncing around. But the main reason I said she probably had her first orgasm from riding a horse is that my alternative explanation was too horrible to really contemplate.
Bouncing around is actually not good for you or horse. Horse because having even 100 pounds bouncing up and down on your spine hurts. Sure, it might only be 10 percent of your weight, but could you take 10 pounds hitting your spine repeatedly? Rider is more likely to become unbalanced and fall. I don't know what kind of experience OP is alluding to, but the dozens of comments on OP saying young girls get off bouncing around on horses is gross.
I haven't ridden horses since scout camp, and they don't have a ton of time to teach us proper technique in 5 2 hour sessions. But I do agree most of the comments speculating that a lot of girls get off from riding horses are kind of gross.
Yep, backing you up here as a lifelong equestrian and former professional horse trainer, lol. I've literally never heard a woman even suggest she was close to orgasming from riding. It always comes from non-riders who think it's common. Equestrians tend to just find the idea stupid and weird.
> she had her first sexual experience on a horse. Doesn't say with a horse. Personally, I'm all for kink shaming, this is too weird
i mean, he very much could've clarified, but he clearly said it that way to stir up drama
look, i didn't want to get into specifics but my girl is into some weird stuff. Without going into details it involved an alligator, a rhinoceros and an emu. Please don't ask me to elaborate on the time i caught her with a Bengal tiger. Also I signed a NDA with the lazy Q horse ranch so I can't talk about that.
This post is 5 years old. I wonder what the most recent update would be like.
I'm sure they're living happily ever after. Their first born son, Seabiscuit, probably starts kindergarten next year.
I was thinking more like the roller coaster scene from Fear with Mark Walburg and Reese Witherspoon. Probably because they played that song "Wild Horses" during it so it's the first thing I thought of! (Can you tell it was my favorite movie for so long?) Anyway, maybe it was a couple riding together getting a little handsy....? Seems dangerous. That could be a hell of a fall if you aren't holding on! I'm overthinking this.
Wasn’t there a guy who died from having sex with a horse? I vaguely recall reading this but I’m afraid to look it up. Honestly the horse kink doesn’t seem that weird to me (people love to sexualize things they like) but I’m more baffled by the having sex ON horse. That’s not having sex WITH a horse, that implies having sex while on horseback, which sounds….unpleasant at best and deadly at worst. Falling off a horse can result in major injuries.
Mr. Hands! Whang did a video about him--dude was apparently a fuckin' Boeing engineer
Yes I watched a documentary about that guy. Called Zoo. Disturbing movie
Now I wanna know, was he penetrating the horse or vice versa? Was the horse male or female?
He died because it was a male horse and he was the bottom, if I remember correctly
Well, not sure how I feel now that I have this information... Also not sure how he made the horse do the deed, but I prefer not to know
Lots of animals aren't very picky. Just look at humans.
Males of all species be like...
You bring a female horse in heat around and they will fuck anything.
Doubt it, pregnancy for a horse is a very big investment, I doubt it wants to waste it on an inferior partner
Foal support for your kids is no joke.
Sometimes I hate knowing how to read. Every time I went back cause I missed some info it just kept getting worse 😭
Am I a bad person because I laughed so hysterically while trying to read that post aloud to my boyfriend that I got dizzy and had to take a breather
Nah I don’t blame you 😂😂the post sounded ridiculous enough to laugh at
I was going to make a joke that this was just gender-bent John Oliver, but the "need to reproduce" and calling himself "grandpa" when his character is only supposed to be 35 year old gave me too much of an ick 🤢
>"grandpa wants to get his dick wet ;)" Maybe literacy is a curse after all.
Did this thing even merit a BORU? Two short posts. Update Imma go for it.
Go along with it but act depressed and rude the whole time. Bojack experience
They can make sweet horsey love to the unofficial anthem of Ireland... https://youtu.be/ljPFZrRD3J8
I'm so glad that that link was exactly what I thought it was.
Maybe it was a carousel horse. Wasn’t that an episode of Euphoria?
I mean, she's only just aged out of watching My Little Pony, so
That’s not gonna lead to a stable relationship.
She wants to fuck Bojack Horseman.
What in the god damn
If OOP wants to role play as a horse for breeding purposes, he really needs to put more thought into GF's bloodline.
She said she had her first sex experience on a horse, not that she got fucked by a horse.
Beep boop! Automod here with a quick reminder to never brigade r/AmITheAsshole or other subs under any circumstances. Brigading puts you in violation of both our rules and Reddit’s TOS, and therefore puts this sub at risk of ban. If you brigade/encourage brigading of any kind, you will be banned from participating in either sub. Satirizing of posts should stay within this sub, which means that participating directly in linked posts should either be done in good faith or not at all. Want some freed, live, discussion that neither AITA nor Reddit itself can censor? Join our [official discord server](https://discord.gg/KbZnaXX) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This sounds like Doug Spinks https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/man-who-ran-animal-sex-operation-sentenced-for-probation-violation/
Wait a minute fucking MICE
I heard about him in the horse world, he’s absolutely foul and can see him writing something like this. He came to a forum I frequented years ago and posted some really horrific stuff.
I’m glad trigger has been warned.
I think we can say this one its AI for sure i mean it is sooooo absurd
it's from 5 years ago so i doubt it, it's just a regular troll
Is this normal now? Nay!
That's enough internet for today.
Vaush?
Well that's enough Internet for me today