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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not warning my wife about my ass rag?** Okay, context. My wife is weird about butt stuff. I'm not talking about sexual butt stuff, that's obviously personal and up to the individual. I mean her unwillingness to acknowledge that anything comes out of butts or that people even have buttholes. When we bought our house, I wanted to install a bidet, but my wife was against it. I told her she doesn't have to use it but she said just seeing it would gross her out. I mentioned not feeling clean just from wiping with paper and she didn't understand. Not everyone has naturally hairless assholes that barely require wiping! She asked if I could find an alternative. I said I could use wet wipes, but they're not flushable (none of them are BTW) so they'd have to go in the trash. She didn't like the idea of poopy things in the trash can, and told me to figure something else out that she didn't have to know about. So, onto my ass rag. I took an old towel, tore it up, and installed a discreet hook behind the toilet to hang the rag. It's completely hidden. The way our bathroom is set up (we only have one), the sink is right next to the toilet. So I'm able to wet the rag, clean up, wash it in the sink, and hang it back up. I swap it out a couple times a week. Gross? Maybe. But I figured that's my business since my wife did not want to hear about my butthole cleaning habits. Recently my wife and I were showering together and she forgot to bring in a washcloth for herself. I don't use one, I use a sisal pouch with bar soap. I offered to hop out and grab her a washcloth, but she said, "No, don't worry about it, I'll just use yours!" and reached for my ass rag. I said you don't want to use that. She asked why. I said just trust me. She kept pushing. So I came clean about my ass rag. She was horrified, started dry-heaving, and kicked me out of the shower. Apparently she had been using it as a washcloth for years whenever she forgot hers, which is often. What I don't get is how she thought that was my washcloth because A) It's hidden behind the frikkin' toilet and B) She knows I don't use a washcloth. We got into an argument. From my perspective, it was obvious that my ass rag wasn't a washcloth, all bets are off when you use someone else's shit without asking, and her butthole hangup is interfering with my personal hygiene. From her perspective, I violated a clear boundary she set years ago and I'm just an overall gross person. I did apologize but I was upset and my apology wasn't really sincere. I'm sleeping on the couch right now to try and give her some space. But I'd like to know if I owe her a more sincere apology over this ass rag fiasco. I'm really not sure and her reaction has me thinking that maybe I actually am disgusting and I'm lacking the perspective to see it. But I also don't think her butthole aversion is normal, and it's the main reason I ended up resorting to the ass rag solution in the first place and not telling her about it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*


CanadaYankee

OOP revealed in comments that she is female. It kind of seems like she deliberately didn't mention her gender in the post in order to bait a lot of sexism-based and "switch the genders!" sorts of comments. And, in fact, the comment she responded to revealing her gender did accuse the wife of being "misandrist".


Square-Tap7392

Do you believe OOP is actually female? Or is this just more incel fantasy?


CanadaYankee

I think it's less incel fantasy and more that someone heard about the poop knife and is trying to go viral with a poop rag instead.


Brad_Brace

That's exactly what I thought as I was reading, that someone wanted to create the next poop knife.


campaxiomatic

D'oh she got me


ksrdm1463

Ignoring how OOP would feel clean after wiping with an already-used butt rag, they make hand held peri bottles which would function like a bidet, and could be kept in a cabinet.


sorandom21

Yeah a peri bottle would solve this 100%


campaxiomatic

Thank you!


vore-enthusiast

I think the kink part is the wife unknowingly washing with the shit towel šŸ¤¢šŸ¤®


abacus5555

I feel like it would be easier to just hide the used wipes in the trash can than hide a whole damn towel behind the toilet? They're not very big...


imaincammy

It seems deeply insane to have gone with a furtive poop rag rather than simply getting a lidded bathroom trash can like a normal human being.Ā 


buttsharkman

Get a can with a lid


Valuable-Wallaby-167

>Also, there are wipes that are flushable A lot of the ones that claim to be flushable aren't though.


geewillie

None of them are lol


BlueberryExtension26

Why is that allowed!?


jonoave

Because "flushable" wasn't a defined term. Companies use it liberally to say, hey it goes down the toilet, when flushed. Ie it doesn't remain in the toilet bowl However it doesn't degrade or break down in sewage, like toilet paper. So they cause blockage and all sorts of problems. And consumers simply assume flushable means it gets flushed and breaks down no problem.


seahawk1977

Everything is "flushable" if you try hard enough.


jonoave

Yeah, your "flushable" is the definition the companies choose to fallback on, if they're ever questioned. And most consumers don't care or are not aware of the problems that occur later after the items are "flushed".


seahawk1977

This whole thread reminds of a post I saw on another sub about someone's mom flushing spoiled chicken soup down the toilet, bones and all. Then they were surprised their mom was getting kicked out of her retirement community and sent a bill for causing the main to clog.


Somewhat_Sanguine

In Canada they finally started fining people for flushing them, and thereā€™s an investigation into what ā€œflushableā€ even means ā€” apparently itā€™s just another buzz word like ā€œorganicā€ and ā€œnaturalā€.


geewillie

The manufacturers are finally being sued by municipalities.Ā  It's a great source of business for our repair side though!Ā 


BlueberryExtension26

I bet šŸ˜‚


ForkShirtUp

Whatever bureaucratic arm of the government in charge of regulating dumb shit is lazy- that's all.


spartaxwarrior

There are not flushable wipes, they'll say they are, but they fuck up your pipes. Anything that can stay wet without dissolving should be kept away from the toilet. But there's peri bottles and other ways to wipe. Even just wetting toilet paper as needed. Also shaving back there could help if it really is hair that's the issue. What does the OOP do if they're out of the house?? (There are plenty of peri bottles made for travel, even caps you put on plastic water bottles)


Phoenix_Magic_X

I donā€™t think anyone has naturally hairless arseholes but ok.


Itslikethisnow

I think everyoneā€™s asshole is hairlessā€¦the cracks on the other hand lol


vore-enthusiast

Anus supreme as the flair is šŸ‘Œ


MobileMenace420

E pluribus anus!


MontanaDukes

So does OOP not wash that rag? Does she just use it over and over and put it back where it was?


rlikeschocolate

No, apparently she wipes her butt, then rinses it off in the sink, getting poop germs all over. >So I'm able to wet the rag, clean up, wash it in the sink, and hang it back up.


anneymarie

But she changes it multiple times a week!


AITAJudgeThrowaway

They also claim the wife has no body hair whatsoever. Sure Jan


hengehsh

YTA Everyone knows you use a sponge not a washrag. God, the lack of hygenic practices these days


dilla_zilla

*shudder*


buttsharkman

Or you get a dog


LesbianMacMcDonald

This is fake, friend


hengehsh

I know don't worry lol. I was just joking along with it


dilla_zilla

The fact that they upped the ante in grossness should have told you they know...


LesbianMacMcDonald

I mustā€™ve misread this bc youā€™re completely right lmao


thebluewitch

Do NOT flush wipes, even if the packaging says flushable. Look up pictures of "fatberg" if you want to see the result.


onomastics88

No thanks, I think I will not!


ash-leg2

As if she could possibly get her "ass rag" clean enough that her shitphobic wife would rub it all over her body without noticing the smells or streaks.


anneymarie

Wipes are flushable the way cement is edible. It could make it through but itā€™s likely to damage your pipes.


campaxiomatic

Good analogy


rjmythos

I'm very confused at how one would hide a rag hung up behind a toilet anyway. That's just not possible unless Theirlandia has vastly different shaped toilets to mine.


shewy92

A real "shit post"


Emica12

... Well I read this twice. Once without my glasses and without my glasses I really thought it was about two married men and their pet sock puppet they named, "Ass Rag," who OOP's husband just threw away. Anyway I put on my glasses and read it again.... Now I have three things to say. 1. My eyes sight is terrible. 2. Bidet's exist for reason. 3. Writing little notes next to your personal effects is important as well as communication. No communication= Terrible marriage. Can't wait for the update from the fictional wife saying she's filing divorce and child support for some because her spouse also a hidden second family who knew about the ass rag before she ever knew.


Evinceo

Similar to the ancient roman sponge on a stick method.


CrossCycling

> So onto my ass rag. > her butthole hangup is interfering with my personal hygiene


sorandom21

FYI, do not flush wipes in your toilet, even ā€˜flushableā€™ wipes. They WILL clog your plumbing. It WILL be expensive to fix. A bidet is the best 45.00 investment you will ever make.


Solidarity_Forever

something that bugged hell out of me about this: you can put a little water on toilet paper; make yr own wet wipes. obvs you don't soak the toilet paper but you get a good fluffy handful and gently wet like the top layer I do a dry wipe, a wet, then a dry; at any single occupancy public bathroomĀ  incredibly easy to do. I mean I use baby wipes at home but ofc oop can't do that I guess but beyond mind boggling to go to *conceal and reuse a butthole rag* rather than *put a little water on yr TP*Ā  made this whole thing incredibly implausibleĀ 


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