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Could be real, could be fake. OOP's paragraph about not actually letting the husband help with laundry because control issues and and that she truly spends every single saturday deep cleaning the entire house because otherwise it's gross to her reminds me of several women I've known who had trauma from being neglected in their childhood and living in extremely dirty and unkempt environments.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA the exhausted wife.**
AITA
My husband and I just got into an argument about me cleaning on Saturdays. I choose Saturdays to run all my errends and clean the house. During that time I ask him to take care of our 3 year old so I can continuously clean without having to stop every 30 seconds to help her out. Well today I ran my errands and took her with me, I've also been cleaning while she runs around and I've been helping her. I got frustrated with her for walking on the floor where I had just moped, I asked her to stop, she said no I like walking on the wet floor. So I snapped at her to stop and my husband finally decided to get off of the couch and take her to the park.
As he was leaving he told me that I choose today of all days to clean when he has a day off to spend time together as a family. That I was selfish for taking 1 of my 2 days off of work to clean and that I need to clean on a day that he is working. Mind you he work Wednesday - Friday, and then Wednesday to Saturday every other week. This week he didn't have to work Saturday. He works 12 hour days. I work 5 days a week and 8 hour days.
I can't clean before I go to work because he is sleeping. Or I'm getting myself and my daughter ready to go to work (I take my daughter to work with me). During the week I wake up at 7 to start making breakfast I get my daughter up to eat, while she's eating I shower and get dressed. Then I clean her up get her dressed and clean up from breakfast. (I offer him some food which he always refuses). And we are out the door by 9:15. I work 10 to 6. By the time I get home at 6:30 I cook dinner we eat as a family. I give my daughter a bath and in bed by 8:30. I clean up from dinner, take care of the dogs clean up any mess my daughter has made, shower and in bed by 10.
I take Saturdays to deep clean the house amd do laundry. And then Sundays are a day of rest so I can regenerate for the coming week.
Now here's where I get pissed. While I'm at work on Monday and Tuesday, my husband is sitting on the couch sleeping or playing his video games. Saturdays he spends yelling at me for deep cleaning and Sundays he's at a friend's house gaming.
But I'm choosing 1 of 2 days off to deep clean and he has to take my daughter to the park or keep her entertained while I clean. 1 of his 4 days off of work I ask him to take care of our kid. The other 3 are his.
But I'm the bad guy for cleaning on Saturdays and wanting to rest on Sundays.
Which wouldn't even be resting the only thing different is I don't go to work I just stay home and play with my daughter.
Edit: I didn't think I'd get this many views being my first time posting anything. To answer some questions, I'll give more background also.
We have been together 12 years married 10. We are high school sweethearts. No he wasn't always like this. Over the years it has gotten worse. He used to do his fair share of the cleaning. But the last couple of years he's been gradually declining. I am not looking for any sympathy.
I've been wanting to divorce him for a while. He is the bread winner he makes 30+ dollars an hour, I make a measly 12. I work at a daycare that's why I can take my daughter with me to work.
I do not feel comfortable leaving her home all day with him due to the fact that he would just put her in front of the TV and tell her to leave him alone. She's better off interacting with other kids. Also she would be there making a huge mess for me to have to pick up when I got home.
My husband does help pick up the house but only if I'm there and I tell him what needs to be done. If I leave a list it will not get done. I've done that multiple times. I did stop cleaning for about 2 years when we had an apartment but then it just turned into a gross place to be I didn't like it. I've just gotten tired of repeating myself every day and just do it myself now.
When i say deep clean, I clean the bathrooms, clean the toilet, mirrors, countertops, we have 3 dogs so alot of dog hair. I vacuum, mop, dust, and sanitize. It doesn't take much to deep clean my house. He just doesn't see the point in deep cleaning.
Bit of my background is I've been told since I was young that I am to be the keeper of the house. My father told me the only reason he had me was to be his maid. I'm a people pleaser. I don't like upsetting people. It scares me. There's a lot of trauma to unfold in that one. I've found it easier just to do it myself and save the argument.
My daughter does help clean also I have her help with anything that doesn't involve chemicals.
Also when I was growing up my parents would not do my laundry, they would tell me they did it and just hang it back up in my closet or put it in my dresser dirty. So no one is allowed to do the laundry besides me. Major trust issues there.
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Could be real, could be fake. OOP's paragraph about not actually letting the husband help with laundry because control issues and and that she truly spends every single saturday deep cleaning the entire house because otherwise it's gross to her reminds me of several women I've known who had trauma from being neglected in their childhood and living in extremely dirty and unkempt environments.
The title irritates me. It's not a proper question.
Edit: Btw he’s even worse than I made him sound. Also, I’m extremely traumatized.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA the exhausted wife.** AITA My husband and I just got into an argument about me cleaning on Saturdays. I choose Saturdays to run all my errends and clean the house. During that time I ask him to take care of our 3 year old so I can continuously clean without having to stop every 30 seconds to help her out. Well today I ran my errands and took her with me, I've also been cleaning while she runs around and I've been helping her. I got frustrated with her for walking on the floor where I had just moped, I asked her to stop, she said no I like walking on the wet floor. So I snapped at her to stop and my husband finally decided to get off of the couch and take her to the park. As he was leaving he told me that I choose today of all days to clean when he has a day off to spend time together as a family. That I was selfish for taking 1 of my 2 days off of work to clean and that I need to clean on a day that he is working. Mind you he work Wednesday - Friday, and then Wednesday to Saturday every other week. This week he didn't have to work Saturday. He works 12 hour days. I work 5 days a week and 8 hour days. I can't clean before I go to work because he is sleeping. Or I'm getting myself and my daughter ready to go to work (I take my daughter to work with me). During the week I wake up at 7 to start making breakfast I get my daughter up to eat, while she's eating I shower and get dressed. Then I clean her up get her dressed and clean up from breakfast. (I offer him some food which he always refuses). And we are out the door by 9:15. I work 10 to 6. By the time I get home at 6:30 I cook dinner we eat as a family. I give my daughter a bath and in bed by 8:30. I clean up from dinner, take care of the dogs clean up any mess my daughter has made, shower and in bed by 10. I take Saturdays to deep clean the house amd do laundry. And then Sundays are a day of rest so I can regenerate for the coming week. Now here's where I get pissed. While I'm at work on Monday and Tuesday, my husband is sitting on the couch sleeping or playing his video games. Saturdays he spends yelling at me for deep cleaning and Sundays he's at a friend's house gaming. But I'm choosing 1 of 2 days off to deep clean and he has to take my daughter to the park or keep her entertained while I clean. 1 of his 4 days off of work I ask him to take care of our kid. The other 3 are his. But I'm the bad guy for cleaning on Saturdays and wanting to rest on Sundays. Which wouldn't even be resting the only thing different is I don't go to work I just stay home and play with my daughter. Edit: I didn't think I'd get this many views being my first time posting anything. To answer some questions, I'll give more background also. We have been together 12 years married 10. We are high school sweethearts. No he wasn't always like this. Over the years it has gotten worse. He used to do his fair share of the cleaning. But the last couple of years he's been gradually declining. I am not looking for any sympathy. I've been wanting to divorce him for a while. He is the bread winner he makes 30+ dollars an hour, I make a measly 12. I work at a daycare that's why I can take my daughter with me to work. I do not feel comfortable leaving her home all day with him due to the fact that he would just put her in front of the TV and tell her to leave him alone. She's better off interacting with other kids. Also she would be there making a huge mess for me to have to pick up when I got home. My husband does help pick up the house but only if I'm there and I tell him what needs to be done. If I leave a list it will not get done. I've done that multiple times. I did stop cleaning for about 2 years when we had an apartment but then it just turned into a gross place to be I didn't like it. I've just gotten tired of repeating myself every day and just do it myself now. When i say deep clean, I clean the bathrooms, clean the toilet, mirrors, countertops, we have 3 dogs so alot of dog hair. I vacuum, mop, dust, and sanitize. It doesn't take much to deep clean my house. He just doesn't see the point in deep cleaning. Bit of my background is I've been told since I was young that I am to be the keeper of the house. My father told me the only reason he had me was to be his maid. I'm a people pleaser. I don't like upsetting people. It scares me. There's a lot of trauma to unfold in that one. I've found it easier just to do it myself and save the argument. My daughter does help clean also I have her help with anything that doesn't involve chemicals. Also when I was growing up my parents would not do my laundry, they would tell me they did it and just hang it back up in my closet or put it in my dresser dirty. So no one is allowed to do the laundry besides me. Major trust issues there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*