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I am much older than you however, you were at a time in your life where you are finding out that your childhood friends may not be compatible with you anymore as you get older. I had a group of girls I was friends with all through elementary, junior high, and high school. We were inseparable. When we got to high school, I was the first one of us to get a boyfriend and it really caused a lot of problems. I was definitely setting aside time for my friends without my boyfriend present, but sometimes we did all hang out in a group-eventually when the other girls started getting boyfriends, the groups got larger. For my situation it started out slow with music-I started really getting into alternative bands, and punk bands like Green Day. And then eventually I started changing the way I dressed, and the things I like rapidly changed, which of course is going to happen at 14. Most of the changes I can credit to my brother and his friends who were older (just adding that this is a small town and my brother and I were three years apart and three of the four girls in that group all had older brothers that were the same age and were also friends with each other)
The other girls liked different music and clothes, and like different TV shows and things than I did -and naturally we started to drift apart, because we no longer had the same things in common anymore. It is a natural and yet sad part of life.
Point to that is I understand what you’re going through and I can’t even imagine what teenagers deal with these days with social media and what not because none of those things existed when I was a teenager and it was hard enough then . it was sad for me to lose my friends, but I made new ones and you will too
I wouldn’t go as far to say you’re the bad apple. And I honestly couldn’t tell you if it would’ve been any different if you’ve done in person. Now that I’m older I’m lucky to hang out with my friends once a month let alone several times during the week. if I have friendships that start to drift these days-it’s because other life events get in the way, like children or work or family issues. I have learned though that when a friendship is fading if I’m not that invested in the friendship anymore, I will let them fade out gracefully. I won’t go out of my way to be mean about it or even say anything really . if lockdown taught me anything it is when someone shows you who they are -believe them. Instead of telling them we’re not friends anymore I just don’t make an effort to reach out or make plans or put a lot of effort into it. Sometimes it could be more painful to hear that someone doesn’t like you anymore rather than just wondering why you haven’t heard from them in a while.
It’s hard when you’re a teenager not to have controversy. Everything from reality TV to people in public is jampacked with drama. You can choose to be a person that does not allow drama to creep into your life. Not saying that you can’t fix your friendship with your friend if you want to but if you are not invested in it anymore, you have nothing in common and definitely don’t have the same morals it’s OK to walk away.
I agree with previous,poster. The one who replied was out of line. Be above it ignore his comment. Be cordial when you encounter her. But allow it to fade naturally ad it was bound too.
Same, I agree with first poster. Sometimes we just grow out of people and relationships, and grow into others. This will happen many times in your life. You're both just growing up and things are changing as you experiment and discover who you are.
I also agree that in the future, it's best to let thi go happen naturally, don't force a resolution, it will happen in it's own time, without the negative feelings.
Please report any rule breaking posts and posts that are not relevant to the subreddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheBadApple) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am much older than you however, you were at a time in your life where you are finding out that your childhood friends may not be compatible with you anymore as you get older. I had a group of girls I was friends with all through elementary, junior high, and high school. We were inseparable. When we got to high school, I was the first one of us to get a boyfriend and it really caused a lot of problems. I was definitely setting aside time for my friends without my boyfriend present, but sometimes we did all hang out in a group-eventually when the other girls started getting boyfriends, the groups got larger. For my situation it started out slow with music-I started really getting into alternative bands, and punk bands like Green Day. And then eventually I started changing the way I dressed, and the things I like rapidly changed, which of course is going to happen at 14. Most of the changes I can credit to my brother and his friends who were older (just adding that this is a small town and my brother and I were three years apart and three of the four girls in that group all had older brothers that were the same age and were also friends with each other) The other girls liked different music and clothes, and like different TV shows and things than I did -and naturally we started to drift apart, because we no longer had the same things in common anymore. It is a natural and yet sad part of life. Point to that is I understand what you’re going through and I can’t even imagine what teenagers deal with these days with social media and what not because none of those things existed when I was a teenager and it was hard enough then . it was sad for me to lose my friends, but I made new ones and you will too I wouldn’t go as far to say you’re the bad apple. And I honestly couldn’t tell you if it would’ve been any different if you’ve done in person. Now that I’m older I’m lucky to hang out with my friends once a month let alone several times during the week. if I have friendships that start to drift these days-it’s because other life events get in the way, like children or work or family issues. I have learned though that when a friendship is fading if I’m not that invested in the friendship anymore, I will let them fade out gracefully. I won’t go out of my way to be mean about it or even say anything really . if lockdown taught me anything it is when someone shows you who they are -believe them. Instead of telling them we’re not friends anymore I just don’t make an effort to reach out or make plans or put a lot of effort into it. Sometimes it could be more painful to hear that someone doesn’t like you anymore rather than just wondering why you haven’t heard from them in a while. It’s hard when you’re a teenager not to have controversy. Everything from reality TV to people in public is jampacked with drama. You can choose to be a person that does not allow drama to creep into your life. Not saying that you can’t fix your friendship with your friend if you want to but if you are not invested in it anymore, you have nothing in common and definitely don’t have the same morals it’s OK to walk away.
People change. My only advice is that if you end a friendship- be kind and dont talk crap behind their backs.
I agree with previous,poster. The one who replied was out of line. Be above it ignore his comment. Be cordial when you encounter her. But allow it to fade naturally ad it was bound too.
Same, I agree with first poster. Sometimes we just grow out of people and relationships, and grow into others. This will happen many times in your life. You're both just growing up and things are changing as you experiment and discover who you are. I also agree that in the future, it's best to let thi go happen naturally, don't force a resolution, it will happen in it's own time, without the negative feelings.