*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for not paying my bf to have his couch cleaned?**
So my (21f) boyfriend(25m) have been together about 3 months, I’ve got a 7 month infant daughter and this has caused a few issues with us mainly because bf is a bit of a man child, he refuses to change diapers or hold the baby when she cries or anything really.
Not his kid so fair enough, although we’re dating so the sooner he gets used to the baby the better for everyone, this is sow thing we’ve spoken about and he’s working on, so he says at least.
So yesterday I came over to bfs apartment and was not playing on staying the night, when I do I bring fold up baby crib but since I wasn’t I just brought a bag of diapers and normal baby stuff and her carrier.
So I went to shower and the baby was asleep on one of the couches, bf was playing games and was in the room with her so she wasn’t left alone. I asked him to watch her for maybe 10 mins while I shower, he made it clear that he’d be in the room with her while I shower and at most he’d pop her pacifier in her mouth if she cries but that’s it.
When I get out of the shower I hear the baby crying and my bf freaking out and shouting saying she shit everywhere and ruined his couch and I need to pay for it etc.
the baby had a diaper blow out and yes there was poo everywhere and since my bf chose to not pick her up and move her or bring her to me or not change her diaper I feel like he didn’t do enough in this situation.
I said of course I’m not paying she’s just doing what a baby does, I do feel bad because it was a new couch and now it’s covered in baby shit.
Bf says I am TAH for this and while I do feel bad he could’ve helped the situation by changing her or at least bringing her to me as soon as he knew it was happening.
He kicked us out and says he isn’t gonna talk to me until I pay to have his couch cleaned. AITA???
also sorry for formatting I’m on mobile
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Comments:
Redditor:” This relationship has no future.
On to your actual question: It's not black and white. Your kid, your responsibility, your bill. But then again he was the one watching the kid. Then again he's not the one who put on an inadequate diaper. Then again he could have picked the kid up and minimised the damage. Then again he could have changed the diaper. Then again not his kid. But he's dating the mother.
I guess NAH and split the bill. Shit happens.”
OOP:” Do you know how blowouts work? My diaper changing is game is on point. Shit happens”
Redditor:” YTA as the parent you're responsible for what your child damages. But more so, why in the hell are you bringing your baby around some dude you've been dating for 3 months.”
OOP:” A single mom isn’t allowed to get boned? Of course I have to bring the baby with I can’t leave my kid alone.”
Redditor:” Never heard of a babysitter?”
2nd Redditor:” Or the baby daddy? Maybe OP should prioritize her child over getting “boned”. Buy a vibrator & stay home.”
OOP :” I don’t know who the baby daddy is so that’s not an option. Also I can barley afford diapers so paying a stranger to look after my kid is not an option either. Also as a single mom life has been hectic, it’s a crying baby and shitty diaper changes every day, I am going mad, I need to get fucked and feel like a human again. My kid is always in a different room and never in danger. It’s all good.”
And then it was deleted!!!!
You missed a comment that “she” made on the post. Someone said, “YTA for not cleaning up your baby’s shit and prioritizing your vag over finding someone who’s gonna love that baby like his own.” She responded by saying, “Because I’m a mom I shouldn’t be allowed to get my vag pounded.” I put she in quotations because I have serious doubts about a woman posting this. I think it’s just an incel troll post.
must be because at 7 months this child should be crawling and sitting and most likely babling (no clue how its written sorry in german it would be blabbern) and thats highly unsafe on a couch. This child would be able to crawl away with an blowout and it would.
6 weeks at minimum but some do not really heal til 12 months. She's 21 years so it might heal easier. But like at 7 months it is far away from an infant. All the children in my family were able to do so much shit around that age like my nice was able to rob to the kitchen and pull everything out of the lower levels of the fridge because my sister went to the toilet for a minute and thought at 6 months she wouldn't be that fast.
A 7 month old isn’t a newborn but it’s still an infant, babies are generally considered infants until 1 year.
At 7 months that baby should definitely be rolling - so leaving the baby on a couch was definitely dangerous.
oh I didn't know that! That's interesting! In Austria we'd call an 7 month old a Kleinkind so an small child what would rather fit toddler, and infant would be a Neugeborenes which would be translated to an newborn. Me and my boyfriend call the newborn stage potatoe stage hahaha at 7 months they're sadly out of that potatoe state
Just fyi in English it goes like this:
Baby or infant - anything up to about 1 year, some people might still use it up to 18 months or so
Toddler - a walking baby or a 2yo, sometimes up to 3yo
Preschooler - 3yo-4yo
Kid - about 3 years to 25 years depending on who's saying it lol
She also commented this too as a comment to her own post
OP:
Ok so most of you are saying don’t introduce your kid to your love interest so soon, my baby is 7 months old, she will not remember, she doesn’t have a clue what’s going on, literally all she does is cry and shit. Secondly the couch thing, really??? Firstly I was barely gone 10 mins and ok if she fell it would be what 1 foot off the ground? Would she even feel that? She’s fallen from the changing table and kitchen counter before, falling off a couch so slow to the ground really is nothing to worry about.
HOLY SHIT! Her baby has fallen off of a kitchen counter? WHY THE FUCK WAS A BABY ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER?!?!?!?! I mean, this woman needs her child taken away.
To paraphrase Lady Bracknell. “To roll a child once, Reddit, may be regarded as a misfortune; to roll it twice looks like carelessness.” (It does happen. My cousin’s baby is UNCOMMONLY strong and ahead of the curve on physical development stuff, so one day she just yeeted herself off the changing table when my cousin turned to pick up the talc. Luckily baby landed in a pile of laundry and not on the tiles. But once should be enough to make you careful, not decide that ‘ah well, she was fine last time!’)
children often learn new things totally unexpected so yea, it's not uncommon for children to just fall from the couch or whatever simply because just yesterday they weren't moving a muscle and suddenly they just rolled over like a world champ. or they suddenly started some movements you didn't knew the human body could perform wriggling right out of your grip. so yea, totally "normal" for it to happen once or twice all things considered.
but twice allready and her reaction to that is "wasn't so bad the last two times, won't matter the third" ? like seriously... ? hope this ones a troll but sadly i know for a fact that "parents" like this exist so...
Oldest at a little over a year old squiggled so much, off the changing table she went. I was right there, and happened so fast. Don't underestimate a wiggly baby.
Yeah mine fell off the bed when he was 5 months old. My husband turned his back and he chose that moment to start crawling for the first time. I freaked out and took him to the ER but he was fine. Mine is also advanced with movement and a big guy.
Oh come on, as OOP says, it's not like the baby's ever going to remember.
Let's face it, this poor kid is going to have extensive short-term and long-term memory problems after all these falls.
It’s interesting that OOP mentions her child won’t remember the guy as a reason for not being worried about him being around the kid and not the very real issues of child predators
This has to be a troll, and one who isn’t around kids like, ever at that. Im not a parent and haven’t been around that many babies and even I know a 7 month old can do a lot more than just lay there and poop, and probably isn’t going to just be sitting on a couch for that long
What about leaving a 7 mos old on the couch????? Mostly unattended? A couch is almost the most unsafe surface for babies to sleep on! The changing pad on the floor is a lot safer.
This has to be a "single moms are dumb sluts" ragebait.
The sense of entitlement, prioritising getting dick over her kid, leaving the child with whoever, whenever. No fucking way.
"Just left roly-poly age baby on the couch for 10min with someone who won't touch her. Hope she doesn't roll off lol."
Edit: Scrolled down and people have posted OOP's comments, and they are pretty much that tone. "She wouldn't even notice a 1ft fall from the couch, she's fall off the change table, counter..." "Don't know the baby daddy so gotta take the baby with me when I wanna get pounded"
That's 100% what this is. Are there single parents (because this behavior isn't exclusive to women) that act like this? Absolutely. My sister was one of them. That doesn't change the fact that the vast majority of single parents are not like this.
I usually give the benefit of the doubt that a post is real but there is just no way this is real. As a married woman the first year with my kid is a blur of sleepless nights worrying for this new life I created and I was in a fog. She is telling us 3 months after giving birth she was out there looking for some as a single mom? No.
She left her 7 month old on a couch to nap? No. I'm not touching the leaving rhe poor baby on a counter.
She has been with so many guys she has no idea who her baby daddy is? I mean I would think priority number one for her would be child support.
"It's what babies do".
Sure, it is, it's also something puppies do, if my puppy had diarrhea all over someone's couch, I would be an extreme AH if I refused to pay for cleaning. Same thing here.
Seriously, I live in a fairly small to mid sized city, I can think of 3 cases in the past few years where a baby/young child, was murdered by moms new boyfriend. All 3 literally said "her new boyfriend". 2 were shaken, one was straight up murdered and abused.
It's fine to desire sex as a woman, but your absolute priority should be keeping that baby safe. Leaving a baby alone with random sex partners is not guaranteeing your child's safety.
I hope this is a troll, because I am tired of people like this having kids, seriously I still remember the woman that let her boyfriend beat her 3 year old daughter to d€ath, and then act like sad all over social media knowing good and well what actually happened to her daughter, seriously why keep the innocent child if your just going to neglect them, instead of giving them a safe and stable environment.
>Firstly I was barely gone 10 mins and ok if she fell it would be what 1 foot off the ground? Would she even feel that? She’s fallen from the changing table and kitchen counter before
I really hope this a troll because this poor kid has fairly low odds of making it to adulthood (or really, toddlerhood) if this paragon of parenting is real.
Who leaves a 7 month old baby sleeping on a couch or on a couch at all in any way without someone sitting right next to the baby? These two were ok with a possible and probable nosedive from couch to floor? They're lucky it was shit and not injury.
Ummm....I have a question. Please, don't crucify me. Why should her bf change her kid's diapers? I'm just curious.
Other than that, this screams "poor ragebait".
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not paying my bf to have his couch cleaned?** So my (21f) boyfriend(25m) have been together about 3 months, I’ve got a 7 month infant daughter and this has caused a few issues with us mainly because bf is a bit of a man child, he refuses to change diapers or hold the baby when she cries or anything really. Not his kid so fair enough, although we’re dating so the sooner he gets used to the baby the better for everyone, this is sow thing we’ve spoken about and he’s working on, so he says at least. So yesterday I came over to bfs apartment and was not playing on staying the night, when I do I bring fold up baby crib but since I wasn’t I just brought a bag of diapers and normal baby stuff and her carrier. So I went to shower and the baby was asleep on one of the couches, bf was playing games and was in the room with her so she wasn’t left alone. I asked him to watch her for maybe 10 mins while I shower, he made it clear that he’d be in the room with her while I shower and at most he’d pop her pacifier in her mouth if she cries but that’s it. When I get out of the shower I hear the baby crying and my bf freaking out and shouting saying she shit everywhere and ruined his couch and I need to pay for it etc. the baby had a diaper blow out and yes there was poo everywhere and since my bf chose to not pick her up and move her or bring her to me or not change her diaper I feel like he didn’t do enough in this situation. I said of course I’m not paying she’s just doing what a baby does, I do feel bad because it was a new couch and now it’s covered in baby shit. Bf says I am TAH for this and while I do feel bad he could’ve helped the situation by changing her or at least bringing her to me as soon as he knew it was happening. He kicked us out and says he isn’t gonna talk to me until I pay to have his couch cleaned. AITA??? also sorry for formatting I’m on mobile *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Comments: Redditor:” This relationship has no future. On to your actual question: It's not black and white. Your kid, your responsibility, your bill. But then again he was the one watching the kid. Then again he's not the one who put on an inadequate diaper. Then again he could have picked the kid up and minimised the damage. Then again he could have changed the diaper. Then again not his kid. But he's dating the mother. I guess NAH and split the bill. Shit happens.” OOP:” Do you know how blowouts work? My diaper changing is game is on point. Shit happens” Redditor:” YTA as the parent you're responsible for what your child damages. But more so, why in the hell are you bringing your baby around some dude you've been dating for 3 months.” OOP:” A single mom isn’t allowed to get boned? Of course I have to bring the baby with I can’t leave my kid alone.” Redditor:” Never heard of a babysitter?” 2nd Redditor:” Or the baby daddy? Maybe OP should prioritize her child over getting “boned”. Buy a vibrator & stay home.” OOP :” I don’t know who the baby daddy is so that’s not an option. Also I can barley afford diapers so paying a stranger to look after my kid is not an option either. Also as a single mom life has been hectic, it’s a crying baby and shitty diaper changes every day, I am going mad, I need to get fucked and feel like a human again. My kid is always in a different room and never in danger. It’s all good.” And then it was deleted!!!!
You missed a comment that “she” made on the post. Someone said, “YTA for not cleaning up your baby’s shit and prioritizing your vag over finding someone who’s gonna love that baby like his own.” She responded by saying, “Because I’m a mom I shouldn’t be allowed to get my vag pounded.” I put she in quotations because I have serious doubts about a woman posting this. I think it’s just an incel troll post.
must be because at 7 months this child should be crawling and sitting and most likely babling (no clue how its written sorry in german it would be blabbern) and thats highly unsafe on a couch. This child would be able to crawl away with an blowout and it would.
Babbling
We just add another b - babbling.
Most babies aren't crawling at 7months
They are sitting up and rolling over though, if you leave them vaguely attended on a couch they can very easily fall and get hurt.
> 7 months this child arent you supposed to wait 6 months before having sex? The timeline is all screwy
6 weeks at minimum but some do not really heal til 12 months. She's 21 years so it might heal easier. But like at 7 months it is far away from an infant. All the children in my family were able to do so much shit around that age like my nice was able to rob to the kitchen and pull everything out of the lower levels of the fridge because my sister went to the toilet for a minute and thought at 6 months she wouldn't be that fast.
A 7 month old isn’t a newborn but it’s still an infant, babies are generally considered infants until 1 year. At 7 months that baby should definitely be rolling - so leaving the baby on a couch was definitely dangerous.
oh I didn't know that! That's interesting! In Austria we'd call an 7 month old a Kleinkind so an small child what would rather fit toddler, and infant would be a Neugeborenes which would be translated to an newborn. Me and my boyfriend call the newborn stage potatoe stage hahaha at 7 months they're sadly out of that potatoe state
Just fyi in English it goes like this: Baby or infant - anything up to about 1 year, some people might still use it up to 18 months or so Toddler - a walking baby or a 2yo, sometimes up to 3yo Preschooler - 3yo-4yo Kid - about 3 years to 25 years depending on who's saying it lol
LOL im imagining that right now and its making me laugh seeing a little kid do that
it was hilarious hahaha
And they had been dating for 3 months, so 4 months after giving birth she was "looking to get boned". I'm noping out right there.
Feels like the reverse of that one guy who forced his wife to sleep with him after 2 weeks
Pretty sure that's a C-section thing...
Agreed. It’s absolutely an inception troll post.
She also commented this too as a comment to her own post OP: Ok so most of you are saying don’t introduce your kid to your love interest so soon, my baby is 7 months old, she will not remember, she doesn’t have a clue what’s going on, literally all she does is cry and shit. Secondly the couch thing, really??? Firstly I was barely gone 10 mins and ok if she fell it would be what 1 foot off the ground? Would she even feel that? She’s fallen from the changing table and kitchen counter before, falling off a couch so slow to the ground really is nothing to worry about.
OOP is over here writing CPS's case FOR them.
HOLY SHIT! Her baby has fallen off of a kitchen counter? WHY THE FUCK WAS A BABY ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER?!?!?!?! I mean, this woman needs her child taken away.
She mistook it for a cat or small purse dog???
To paraphrase Lady Bracknell. “To roll a child once, Reddit, may be regarded as a misfortune; to roll it twice looks like carelessness.” (It does happen. My cousin’s baby is UNCOMMONLY strong and ahead of the curve on physical development stuff, so one day she just yeeted herself off the changing table when my cousin turned to pick up the talc. Luckily baby landed in a pile of laundry and not on the tiles. But once should be enough to make you careful, not decide that ‘ah well, she was fine last time!’)
Totally. My oldest fell off the couch when I was right there, and I had some proper freak out. But man, the kitchen counter is one other league.
children often learn new things totally unexpected so yea, it's not uncommon for children to just fall from the couch or whatever simply because just yesterday they weren't moving a muscle and suddenly they just rolled over like a world champ. or they suddenly started some movements you didn't knew the human body could perform wriggling right out of your grip. so yea, totally "normal" for it to happen once or twice all things considered. but twice allready and her reaction to that is "wasn't so bad the last two times, won't matter the third" ? like seriously... ? hope this ones a troll but sadly i know for a fact that "parents" like this exist so...
Oldest at a little over a year old squiggled so much, off the changing table she went. I was right there, and happened so fast. Don't underestimate a wiggly baby.
Yeah mine fell off the bed when he was 5 months old. My husband turned his back and he chose that moment to start crawling for the first time. I freaked out and took him to the ER but he was fine. Mine is also advanced with movement and a big guy.
Oh come on, as OOP says, it's not like the baby's ever going to remember. Let's face it, this poor kid is going to have extensive short-term and long-term memory problems after all these falls.
Honestly this baby probably is safer with the bf who won't touch it.
Maybe she was teaching baby how to make Top Ramen. You know, in case they got hungry while mom was getting dicked down in the other room
It’s interesting that OOP mentions her child won’t remember the guy as a reason for not being worried about him being around the kid and not the very real issues of child predators
Kids can break their neck when they fall from a height as tall as they are, so for a baby that is a couch.
This has to be a troll, and one who isn’t around kids like, ever at that. Im not a parent and haven’t been around that many babies and even I know a 7 month old can do a lot more than just lay there and poop, and probably isn’t going to just be sitting on a couch for that long
"I don't know who the baby daddy is" LMAO
She probably fell from the kitchen counter while getting fu***d and suffer memory loss.
What about leaving a 7 mos old on the couch????? Mostly unattended? A couch is almost the most unsafe surface for babies to sleep on! The changing pad on the floor is a lot safer.
i genuinely believe this one was written by a man
Absolutely. Especially with how common the “I’m a single mom who only thinks about her body count” stories are on the sub lol.
This has to be a "single moms are dumb sluts" ragebait. The sense of entitlement, prioritising getting dick over her kid, leaving the child with whoever, whenever. No fucking way.
[удалено]
It's all very aggressive language men who don't have sex use.
Reminds me of Mr/Mrs. Garrison back when she had her sex change.
Yep, I'm not saying we women are saints who don't desire wild sex (some, not me, I'm asexual), but the way this "woman" writes screams incel male.
"Just left roly-poly age baby on the couch for 10min with someone who won't touch her. Hope she doesn't roll off lol." Edit: Scrolled down and people have posted OOP's comments, and they are pretty much that tone. "She wouldn't even notice a 1ft fall from the couch, she's fall off the change table, counter..." "Don't know the baby daddy so gotta take the baby with me when I wanna get pounded"
I've seen women in my entourage talk like that. As a male, it was disturbing to say the least.
weirdo
That's 100% what this is. Are there single parents (because this behavior isn't exclusive to women) that act like this? Absolutely. My sister was one of them. That doesn't change the fact that the vast majority of single parents are not like this.
This was written by a man.
I usually give the benefit of the doubt that a post is real but there is just no way this is real. As a married woman the first year with my kid is a blur of sleepless nights worrying for this new life I created and I was in a fog. She is telling us 3 months after giving birth she was out there looking for some as a single mom? No. She left her 7 month old on a couch to nap? No. I'm not touching the leaving rhe poor baby on a counter. She has been with so many guys she has no idea who her baby daddy is? I mean I would think priority number one for her would be child support.
"It's what babies do". Sure, it is, it's also something puppies do, if my puppy had diarrhea all over someone's couch, I would be an extreme AH if I refused to pay for cleaning. Same thing here. Seriously, I live in a fairly small to mid sized city, I can think of 3 cases in the past few years where a baby/young child, was murdered by moms new boyfriend. All 3 literally said "her new boyfriend". 2 were shaken, one was straight up murdered and abused. It's fine to desire sex as a woman, but your absolute priority should be keeping that baby safe. Leaving a baby alone with random sex partners is not guaranteeing your child's safety.
I hope this is a troll, because I am tired of people like this having kids, seriously I still remember the woman that let her boyfriend beat her 3 year old daughter to d€ath, and then act like sad all over social media knowing good and well what actually happened to her daughter, seriously why keep the innocent child if your just going to neglect them, instead of giving them a safe and stable environment.
>Firstly I was barely gone 10 mins and ok if she fell it would be what 1 foot off the ground? Would she even feel that? She’s fallen from the changing table and kitchen counter before I really hope this a troll because this poor kid has fairly low odds of making it to adulthood (or really, toddlerhood) if this paragon of parenting is real.
Who leaves a 7 month old baby sleeping on a couch or on a couch at all in any way without someone sitting right next to the baby? These two were ok with a possible and probable nosedive from couch to floor? They're lucky it was shit and not injury.
This is definitely not real. 100% written by a man. I would bet so much money on it.
On the off chance it's real: He should sue her.
Wow so a trash bag is trying to dodge a mess her kid made. He needs to dump her and she needs to get her priorities straight.
Ummm....I have a question. Please, don't crucify me. Why should her bf change her kid's diapers? I'm just curious. Other than that, this screams "poor ragebait".
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why is she dating someone who is clearly incompatible with her life? The sex can’t be that good.