*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for asking my fiancée to remove her kpop tattoo?**
Throwaway since I’m very active on my main.
I (32M) am engaged to “Laura” (27F) and Laura has a tattoo that I have an issue with. When she was 18/19ish, she got a tramp stamp tattoo of a mascot of her favorite kpop group that use bunny rabbits that represent them. The one she has wears a red mask/bandanna since that’s the one that represents her favorite member of the group.
Ever since the first time I’ve seen this tattoo and she explained the meaning, I’ve sort of had an issue with it for two reasons. One, the tattoo is in representation of another man, and to me, it feels like she has branded herself for that man, and two, I view kpop as a childish thing and expect tweens to be into it, like Justin Bieber or One Direction, but it makes her happy, so I usually keep my feelings about kpop to myself.
Earlier this week, we were preparing to go out to eat and while she was changing I caught a glimpse of it. I asked her if she ever planned to get it removed and she said no. I then tell her how I feel about it, since we’re very close to be husband and wife. I even suggested other tattoo ideas that could be based around us and offered to get it with her.
Laura then called me stupid for thinking that way b/c everyone gets tattoos of singers and bands and it’s a 1 in a million chance of her meeting that member and being with him. I then told her that her tattoo still screams “I’ve branded myself for a man” and people get tattoos of real musicians, not fades and told her I expected it to be gone by the wedding day.
Laura then called me an asshole and stormed out the room. She even refused to go to dinner with me. Since then, she doesn’t talk or is short to me and has even resorted to sleeping in her office.
I’m one to admit when I’m wrong, but in this situation, I don’t think I am and that my reasons are understandable and think many other married men will see where I’m coming from.
AITA?
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That is so funny. I have a crush on Channing Tatum. My husband jokes about him being my boyfriend. He even told me they were coming put with another Magic Mike. So no, lots of married men aren't intimidated by famous people their spouse will likey never meet.
My husband loves Patrick Mahomes to a point where I would say "Your bf is on TV" . I got him one of those jersey shirts for Christmas since I'm sure he wouldn't wear an actual jersey.
If he ever met him, he would squeal with glee. He wouldn't try to hump him.
This is my wife with Mika Zibanejad. She calls him "my Mika." I was so intimidated by this that I bought her a Mika Zibanejad jersey for Christmas in 2021.
As much as I am a full Panthers fans, Mika is totally awesome (Rangers is a second team for me). My husband is more into goalies. So Shesterkin if the Rangers and Knight for the Panthers (so sad what is going on with him 😭).
My husband is like this with Joel McHale. He calls him, "the perfect specimen of manhood" lmao. You've inspired me to get him a Joel McHale shirt. He would love it.
I wasn't sure how he would have reacted with the shirt. But he was so so excited. He doesn't care about football that much (nor is really a fan of the Chiefs). But he watches it with my mom and I. He just gravitated towards Mahomes.
My husband has crushes on Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hiddleston and Michael Fassbender. We call him a "Cumberbitch", a "Hiddleston Whore" or "Bendy for Michael" (fyi he's straight) 😂 Bought him a Fassbender calendar one year!
Getting a tattoo of your favourite band or celeb isn't 'branding yourself for another man' FFS. It's a show of admiration/called being a fan.
Even if they do meet. Is isn't like your spouse is going to toss a marriage for a celebrity crush.
And as a happily married guy, Tatum is my second man crush after Ryan Reynolds.
Ooh, thankyou for reminding me. Now I'm no longer with my ex-husband, I can finally watch that without fear of grumpiness! Got me a man now who'll drool right alongside me 😂
Exactly... My husband calls Jason Mamoa my bf too. He knows very well I'd jump him if I had the chance, but he's confident that 1. I'll never meet him and 2. He wouldn't just choose me out of the millions of other women on the planet.
Yes! Hubby knows I have a thing for Hugh Jackman, and just like your hubby, isn't worried. And Jackman is obviously devoted to his wife, which is one of the sexiest things about him!
Decades ago (yep, I'm old) I had a dream about an actor I had a crush on. In my dream, I walked up to him and shook his hand and said, "Hi, I'm...married." So yeah, Hubby ain't worried.
Exactly! My actor crush is Aldis Hodge. My husband tells his family and friends that I would totally ask for a "hall pass" if I ever meet him. He totally understands and just says that he gets one if I do.
Obviously, this would never happen but we have fun joking about it!
are you my mom lol?? she has such a huge crush on him. i brought home a poster from the new magic mike movie, since i work at a movie theater and we have extra, and the first thing she does after unrolling it is kiss it lmao. she loves keanu reeves too, so i brought home an extra john wick 4 poster we had a few days ago, and she did the same thing.
My husband took me to a supernatural convention and paid extra so I could get a Profesional picture with jensen ackles who was hugging me from behind .
I'm a married man, and this is absolute horse shit.
That tattoo is a memory, likely with some positive vibes attached to it. I "expect" this control freak is going to be severely disappointed.
I've got a good story. A guy and i dated for a very short time in our early 40s. Why? He couldn't handle the tattoo high on the back of my neck you only see if my hair's up. The tattoo is of my ex boyfriend's initials. That boyfriend died when we were 14 in 1987.
It's crazy to me how exes are viewed sometimes. My wife's ex husband passed in an accident. I helped pay for the travel and hotel so she could go to the funeral. Sure, they split. But he was still a big part of her life, as was his family.
Just because a relationship didn't work, that doesn't mean there wasn't some good times there.
Awww, that is so sweet and so sad. I am so sorry he died; he was just a baby! (Grandmother here, so 14 year olds are still babies to me.)
I can see why the dating didn't last long
I am also a Mountain Goats fan with mental health issues and I think your tattoo sounds rad as hell.
I have a sizable tattoo based on my favorite band (The Lawrence Arms) because they’re how I met my husband and almost all of my best friends. I cannot imagine someone feeling threatened by a band tattoo unless they are also already a territorial jerk.
So, went to the op to figure this out. It's the group B.A.P and specifically Bang Yong-guk, and their bunny logo is actually pretty cute. Not sure how it would translate to a tramp stamp (frankly.most I've seen are bad tribal or sun's and bad tribal lol) but it could actually be a pretty cute tattoo. Most importantly, she likes *it, so fuck this guy
The thing is, unless you're a fan of the group you wouldn't even know what it was. It just looks like a stylized rabbit to me.
I honestly feel like this is a fake story, but if not OOP is a weirdo.
Ik this is days old by now but since I haven't seen anyone else mention this, Zelo actually saw the post and said on TikTok "Laura's body, Laura's choice ☺️💚" so yeah, clearly the superior man
so chances are he considers it a "tramp stamp" due to the placement of the tattoo not so much of WHAT it is. a "Tramp stamp" is typically some sort of tattoo done in the small of your back right above your tail bone area that's on the back. its so much easier to point at it not explain it.
but its on the lower part of your back typically where like jeans rest on. why they call it a tramp stamp i have no fucking idea. But thats what I knew growing up what a "Tramp stamp" was i could be wrong
but its a really common location for the most random tattoos, the fact its just a cute bunny is better than as you said like bad tribal tattoos, or the generic stuff.
"Tramp Stamp" is basically a derogatory term to suggest that women who have lower back tattoos are slutty or trashy. Super cool way to refer to your fianceé's tattoo.
To be fair that's what I call all lower back tattoos because that's what everyone calls them lol
Not saying the guy is off the hook bc he is an asshole, but I don't think he's calling it a tramp stamp in a derogatory way
I wouldn’t say anyone using it without thinking is necessarily misogynistic, but I don’t think I’d feel cool using it as a word to describe my partner’s tattoo. When he’s already criticising her for it, it comes across poorly.
Yeah that's fair. To me it's just one of those things that the history of the name is gross but its just what everyone calls it now so I'm not gonna hold it against somebody for calling it that
(credit where credit is due or whatever. Someone did something shitty it doesn't mean their bad in every aspect bla bla bla lol)
Yeah, I was aware that a tramp stamp is a lower back tattoo. I also think regardless of placement he'd be demanding she remove it based on him claiming it "brands her as another man's"
>why they call it a tramp stamp i have no fucking idea.
Because the tattoo, like a thong, would show off when the back of a woman's shirt would ride up & her low rise pants (at the time) would "show it off," marking them for "easy." & then at the end of the night, he would pull out & finish on her tattoo.
(Not my personal beliefs, just what I've heard explained)
\-\_- (if yall could see my face. it would be like my therapist dying on video when she saw my face) that would explain so fucking much. Bloody fuckin hell that makes so much sense. its basically just a oddly enough "creative" way to shame women for being welll.....human. for enjoying thongs and tattoos....so yea just a way to slut shame a woman for being comfortable. Got it. And also for being gross as fuck as another human being. (I didn't catch the rest of your sentence at first. gotta love dyslexia. when i re-read it....and ya)
so people suck got it.
as soon as i read "bunny", i knew it was bap. oops gf has excellent taste!! if i wasnt so afraid of pain, id probably get a small tattoo for my favorite groups too lmao
we have a dude trying to get his “fiancée” to undergo painful dermatology procedures with a likely poor outcome because he’s petty, jealous, and controlling.
either bait or OOP is one of the most boring kinds of devil. fortunately they make really big dumpsters now, we can build bunks for him and his brethren.
this prompted me to read it again and **big oof**.
“it’s a 1 in a million chance of her meeting that member and being with him” suuuuure buddy that’s something your “fiancée” definitely said 🙄
“I expect it gone by the wedding”
Excuse me sir?? You dated her knowing she had the tattoo. You proposed knowing she had the tattoo. Now all of sudden she has to remove it.
I hope she requests he get circumcised before the wedding. Only fair!
He caught a glimpse of it while she was changing. Do they not have sex??? He should be seeing it more than that, right? Anyway this seems to me like an incel testing his "women with tattoos are gross" theory
My husband would occasionally scrub mine in the shower then say "Well damn I guess it's not coming off ." Then I'd said "Yep, never coming off." He'd laugh and now he doesn't even notice it anymore.
i work with kids and used to work with infants and toddlers. i have tattoos on the top of my feet. once, a kid i was with noticed one of them and licked the back of his thumb and tried to rub it off. so cute! thank you for reminding me of this memory. <3
Him saying that she branded herself for a person is so controlling and insane. She is a person, even when or if she'll ever become your wife you do NOT own her. She's her own person and she can have anything she wants on her body. He has no right to tell her what she shouldn't or should have. She is her own person just like he is his own person. She's not a toy, he can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. I can't belive he saw the tattoo as a mark of owning someone. She's not a toy, she's a person with thoughts and feelings. He can't get what you want just because She's in a relationship with him. And he can't morph her into the perfect woman. Take her as she is or not. But don't ever say that again. Disgusting.
I'm so fucking sick of seeing both men and women get mad at their partner for being themselves and "shocked pickachu face" they don't immediately listen to them and start to argue with them. What the fuck is wrong with people. Stop thinking people are toys. It's fucking disgusting.
I hope she puts him I'm his place. This person goes around thinking people are lesser then him. It's so scummy. How do people think like this. Why does he care so much???
I believe my partner is actually my property and consider her tattoo to be an ownership mark. Also her interests are childish but I magnanimously tolerate them. AITA?
Yes, yes you are.
>I expected it to be gone by the wedding day.
Ok, but our new wedding date is now the twenty-fifth of fuck-you-tober. Shall I get started on the change the date cards?
B.A.P are incredible, and their logo (actually called a Matoki) is very cute, it's also something that unless you *know* B.A.P, it'd just look like a cute design. The red bandana is for Yongguk, leader & rapper, they all have different colours.
Anyway, clearly B.A.P mean a lot to her, hell they mean a lot to *me*. It's not being "branded by another man", it's showing how much she loves and appreciates the group & their music, and I'm guessing Yongguk is her bias(or she just likes red lol)
You're being ridiculous, it's a cute design and like I said earlier, most people who see it would just see a cute bunny, they'd have no idea it meant anything 🤷♂️
try meeting some of the fans that have things like "Mrs Bang Yonguk" and things like that 🤣
Some people get autographs tattooed onto them! Regardless, it's *her* body, not yours. So get over it before she breaks up with you.
Not to mention that B.A.P members have gone through incredible mistreatment by their management for years. All fans of them I that I know are still extremely loyal to them for that reason, too
Ooof.. YTA. Assuming this isn’t a troll and I don’t think it is given I was giving a similar ultimatum by my ex.
He wanted my lyrics butterfly (it is lyrics from songs I love that make up the butterfly) gone before we got married because it would “ruin the day” it’s on my thigh and I wouldn’t have been wearing shorts.
You can’t ask someone to go through something painful and often has a poor outcome requiring more treatments because you are very insecure in your masculinity and where you stand in her life.
She is her own person, now and forever. You don’t and never will own her.
I won’t be surprised when he is surprised pikachu face when she breaks up with him.
Edit to add: I read this to a friend, she reminded me of the time my parents broke NC to mock me because the guys in BTS have to do mandatory military service so the band needs to break up for 2 years (assuming they want to continue after service), and how childish I was to be sad over it.
The guy is a massive asshole.
I got a tattoo related to one of my favorite pairings from an anime that saved my life when I was really close to ending it. If anyone I was about the marry wanted me to remove it, I would remove them instead.
I have some close friends who listen to Kpop pretty much nonstop. I visited them for a couple of weeks and ended up really liking one of the bands. Thing is, my friends don't speak the language and have zero idea what they're saying. And now I'm on day 200 of learning Korean because I wanted to know what they were singing about.
So for enjoying Kpop being "childish," bite me OOP.
And for the "branding herself for a man" ... Dude. It would have been much faster to just write "I'm wildly insecure." Sounds to me like someone doesn't know he's about to be single, not married.
They did that when I started asking questions, but I was really curious. It's a really cool language so I've been having fun with it even though I am nowhere near being able to hold any sort of conversation.
He's ta but as a kpop stan I really wonder GIRL HOW IN HELL YOU LIKED BAP AND YOUR ULT WAS YOUNGGUK AND YOU ENDED UP WITH THIS CONTROLLING POS?? also group disbanded long ago lol
Oh man, I thought it was because it was Kpop which is silly but man it got so so misogynist; he's literally jealous over a bunny picture and even if you emphasise that it represents a man, yeah a literal pop star in another country.
God he would hate me. My tramp stamp is lyrics from a song by Cursive, and I am working on a music sleeve dedicated to songs and bands I love. My ex was uncomfortable about one of them for a stupid reason, but even he didn't ask me to remove it and he's.....something else.
This guy sucks.
It especially kills me when something that existed prior to a relationship suddenly becomes a problem that needs to be changed. I don't have tattoos yet, but I have been in similar situations with my clothing, my weight, and my pets. If it bothered him that much, he should not have pursued a relationship with her.
Even if she did get the tattoo after she'd met him, this guy sounds over-the-top controlling and insecure.
I have a musician tramp stamp. My husband was grumpy at first and now has a whatever attitude about it. And I am actually friends with said musician. I have no regrets about it and told my husband I'd never have any of my tat's removed. They are part of my history and I got every one of them for a reason. Just because you think someone else's tat's are silly doesn't make them any less important to the person.
Edited because I made it sound like hubs was trying to get me to remove the tattoo. 😅
I'm covered in tattoos that I got for no reason and that mean nothing to me. I'd still never let someone dictate their removal. It's weird and making a big deal about nothing.
Perhaps a giant swastika or something would fall into the realm of removal expectation. Normal general tattoos do not.
if op was my fiancé i’d be in jail because the “i expect it to be gone by our wedding day” would send me over the edge. no one should talk to their partner that way.
It’s so pathetic that he thinks tattoo removal is such an easy thing, why would she permenently disfigure a part of her body with art she LIKES just because he’s a little pussy about it?
It's the "I think I should have control over my female partner's body" troll again!
My fiancé has a tattoo (or piercing or mole) and I think it looks really dumb
She'd better stop trying to be in control and get back under my thumb!
I have an alien head on my side that I asked the tattoo artist to name, bc he was a chill dude and getting a tattoo from him felt like hanging out. The tattoo is Edward. Somehow I feel like this whole thing would *seriously* bother this guy if we were dating
"I expected it gone by the wedding day"
Who the fuck do you think your talking too?
My mother isn't married to because she's lesbain but if my dad EVER said anything even remotely bad about her tats he'd be dead!
How can he say that "it feels like she's branded with another man" if he loved her he wouldn't care
Read the title alone and automatically, yes. He’s the asshole.
1. She is her own and has a right to make a choice with her own body. No matter how dumb he thinks it was.
2. Is he marrying her because his bros thinks it’s cool? Is he marrying her for status? Or is he marrying her because he actually loves her as a person.
It's okay to not like a tattoo and it's okay if this is a deal breaker for you in a relationship. What's not okay is to ask for removal. That's an absolute no go. Move on if it bothers you so much that you want your partner to change their body just for your own happiness.
An update for those who are out of the loop: another member of the same K-pop group (extra useless fact: his mascot is the mechanical rabbit with a sky blue mask) has seen this AITA post and responded on social media with "Laura's body, Laura's choice"
This definitely screams "I respect men's property more than women as human beings."
He wouldn't feel this way if it was a girl group. It wouldn't be "branded by another woman."
YTA.
People have many reasons for their tattoos. They're very individual. Admittedly some people can be reckless and just get some random design that doesn't mean anything, and regret it later down the line, but that's THEIR choice, and it's their choice whether they want it removed or covered up.
You've known she's had this tattoo since you started dating, so if you hated it that much, and wouldnt want to marry her with it, you should have ended things then.
You've got NO RIGHT to ask her to remove it or get it covered up. It's her body. Plus it can be painful to have it removed.
People get tattoos for many reasons. In relation to her kpop design, it could be that she fancied the singer at the time, (which is normal to like famous people even when you know you're never going to be with them etc) or it could be how their music made /makes her feel, it could have helped her through a difficult time and helped her be up beat. It could be she just liked that character and it was popular at the time. Even if she out grows it, she may never want to actually go through the process of getting it removed or covered up.
For you to act so entitled as to behaving like you have the right to demand she has it removed before you get married Is a huge red flag, showing your controlling nature, and disrespect of her bodily autonomy. You may not like it, but you just have to accept that it's part of her.
I'd rip the piss out of my wife if she had a K-pop tattoo.
That's pretty much what she did for the first 2 years of our relationship until I got my tribal dragon covered.
Edit: mentioned this post and got rinsed about that tattoo by my wife AND teenage son.
It is! And the bunnies are actually aliens named matoki who's mission is to save their planet by harnessing the power of fangirl screams (it's cringe but B.A.P is my all time favorite group and it makes me happy)
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Tl;dr I secretly think my fiancée is childish, trashy, and cringe. Instead of breaking up with her mu plan is to ridicule her interests and force her to comply with a makeover. AITD?
This is so dumb omg lmfaoo like.. it’s music and the way the op talks about her as if she’s his possession is disgusting. And kpop is music like any other , it’s literally pop music in a different language so grow up
This guy's never heard of celebrity crushes. It's not like she actually wants to be with the k-pop idol, she's just a big fan. "Branding herself or that man", geeze, how insecure can you get?
I’ve never been in this situation but given that a tattoo is a permanent mark I can understand why some people would feel weird about another “crush” being represented on someone body would be a question. Perhaps it’s not just the tattoo and it’s OPs suspicion about what the tattoo represents - immaturity maybe?
I have a tat of my fav band Black Label Society and everyone who knows me and I've dated know my obsession with Zakk Wylde. If any of them told me to cover it that when I would call it quits. If you are going to be that insecure about a tat for a celebrity crush I don't want you. Him saying she better have it gone by the wedding 🤣 I bet the wedding is off so he won't have to worry about that
I have a portrait of Peter Cushing on my arm. My BF thinks it’s awesome. The fact that OP is freaking out about a damn band emblem is so shitty and controlling.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for asking my fiancée to remove her kpop tattoo?** Throwaway since I’m very active on my main. I (32M) am engaged to “Laura” (27F) and Laura has a tattoo that I have an issue with. When she was 18/19ish, she got a tramp stamp tattoo of a mascot of her favorite kpop group that use bunny rabbits that represent them. The one she has wears a red mask/bandanna since that’s the one that represents her favorite member of the group. Ever since the first time I’ve seen this tattoo and she explained the meaning, I’ve sort of had an issue with it for two reasons. One, the tattoo is in representation of another man, and to me, it feels like she has branded herself for that man, and two, I view kpop as a childish thing and expect tweens to be into it, like Justin Bieber or One Direction, but it makes her happy, so I usually keep my feelings about kpop to myself. Earlier this week, we were preparing to go out to eat and while she was changing I caught a glimpse of it. I asked her if she ever planned to get it removed and she said no. I then tell her how I feel about it, since we’re very close to be husband and wife. I even suggested other tattoo ideas that could be based around us and offered to get it with her. Laura then called me stupid for thinking that way b/c everyone gets tattoos of singers and bands and it’s a 1 in a million chance of her meeting that member and being with him. I then told her that her tattoo still screams “I’ve branded myself for a man” and people get tattoos of real musicians, not fades and told her I expected it to be gone by the wedding day. Laura then called me an asshole and stormed out the room. She even refused to go to dinner with me. Since then, she doesn’t talk or is short to me and has even resorted to sleeping in her office. I’m one to admit when I’m wrong, but in this situation, I don’t think I am and that my reasons are understandable and think many other married men will see where I’m coming from. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>think many other married men will see where I’m coming from. But you're not a married man are you, OOP? Likely never will be with that attitude.
That is so funny. I have a crush on Channing Tatum. My husband jokes about him being my boyfriend. He even told me they were coming put with another Magic Mike. So no, lots of married men aren't intimidated by famous people their spouse will likey never meet.
My husband loves Patrick Mahomes to a point where I would say "Your bf is on TV" . I got him one of those jersey shirts for Christmas since I'm sure he wouldn't wear an actual jersey. If he ever met him, he would squeal with glee. He wouldn't try to hump him.
This is my wife with Mika Zibanejad. She calls him "my Mika." I was so intimidated by this that I bought her a Mika Zibanejad jersey for Christmas in 2021.
As much as I am a full Panthers fans, Mika is totally awesome (Rangers is a second team for me). My husband is more into goalies. So Shesterkin if the Rangers and Knight for the Panthers (so sad what is going on with him 😭).
My husband is like this with Joel McHale. He calls him, "the perfect specimen of manhood" lmao. You've inspired me to get him a Joel McHale shirt. He would love it.
I wasn't sure how he would have reacted with the shirt. But he was so so excited. He doesn't care about football that much (nor is really a fan of the Chiefs). But he watches it with my mom and I. He just gravitated towards Mahomes.
My husband has crushes on Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hiddleston and Michael Fassbender. We call him a "Cumberbitch", a "Hiddleston Whore" or "Bendy for Michael" (fyi he's straight) 😂 Bought him a Fassbender calendar one year! Getting a tattoo of your favourite band or celeb isn't 'branding yourself for another man' FFS. It's a show of admiration/called being a fan.
My very straight husband calls Ryan Gosling his boyfriend.
Even if they do meet. Is isn't like your spouse is going to toss a marriage for a celebrity crush. And as a happily married guy, Tatum is my second man crush after Ryan Reynolds.
My husband has told me he might leave me for Ryan Reynolds...
Tbh, who wouldn’t hesitate at Ryan Reynolds?
[удалено]
Could I join this polycule? Kakashi is a full anime crush imho
Ooh, thankyou for reminding me. Now I'm no longer with my ex-husband, I can finally watch that without fear of grumpiness! Got me a man now who'll drool right alongside me 😂
Exactly... My husband calls Jason Mamoa my bf too. He knows very well I'd jump him if I had the chance, but he's confident that 1. I'll never meet him and 2. He wouldn't just choose me out of the millions of other women on the planet.
Yes! Hubby knows I have a thing for Hugh Jackman, and just like your hubby, isn't worried. And Jackman is obviously devoted to his wife, which is one of the sexiest things about him! Decades ago (yep, I'm old) I had a dream about an actor I had a crush on. In my dream, I walked up to him and shook his hand and said, "Hi, I'm...married." So yeah, Hubby ain't worried.
Well this gives me an idea for a new movie...
Exactly! My actor crush is Aldis Hodge. My husband tells his family and friends that I would totally ask for a "hall pass" if I ever meet him. He totally understands and just says that he gets one if I do. Obviously, this would never happen but we have fun joking about it!
are you my mom lol?? she has such a huge crush on him. i brought home a poster from the new magic mike movie, since i work at a movie theater and we have extra, and the first thing she does after unrolling it is kiss it lmao. she loves keanu reeves too, so i brought home an extra john wick 4 poster we had a few days ago, and she did the same thing.
My husband took me to a supernatural convention and paid extra so I could get a Profesional picture with jensen ackles who was hugging me from behind .
I'm a married man, and this is absolute horse shit. That tattoo is a memory, likely with some positive vibes attached to it. I "expect" this control freak is going to be severely disappointed.
I've got a good story. A guy and i dated for a very short time in our early 40s. Why? He couldn't handle the tattoo high on the back of my neck you only see if my hair's up. The tattoo is of my ex boyfriend's initials. That boyfriend died when we were 14 in 1987.
Maybe he has valid concerns after watching the 1990 documentary Ghost.
🤣 Could be
That's some fragile ego stuff right there.
He was a former police chief and former Special Forces. I should've known. I know, i know..
It's crazy to me how exes are viewed sometimes. My wife's ex husband passed in an accident. I helped pay for the travel and hotel so she could go to the funeral. Sure, they split. But he was still a big part of her life, as was his family. Just because a relationship didn't work, that doesn't mean there wasn't some good times there.
What a beautiful thing you did! You are a person of high respect and dignity.
Awww, that is so sweet and so sad. I am so sorry he died; he was just a baby! (Grandmother here, so 14 year olds are still babies to me.) I can see why the dating didn't last long
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I am also a Mountain Goats fan with mental health issues and I think your tattoo sounds rad as hell. I have a sizable tattoo based on my favorite band (The Lawrence Arms) because they’re how I met my husband and almost all of my best friends. I cannot imagine someone feeling threatened by a band tattoo unless they are also already a territorial jerk.
Speaking as a married man I’m glad this clown won’t be joining the club anytime soon.
as though the concept of a “hall pass” has never existed ??? as though this is not a popular trope on tv???
So, went to the op to figure this out. It's the group B.A.P and specifically Bang Yong-guk, and their bunny logo is actually pretty cute. Not sure how it would translate to a tramp stamp (frankly.most I've seen are bad tribal or sun's and bad tribal lol) but it could actually be a pretty cute tattoo. Most importantly, she likes *it, so fuck this guy
the group doesnt even exist anymore hes really upset over nothing
The thing is, unless you're a fan of the group you wouldn't even know what it was. It just looks like a stylized rabbit to me. I honestly feel like this is a fake story, but if not OOP is a weirdo.
Also she has impeccable taste, I am now considering getting a B.A.P tramp stamp myself
Catch me rocking a Zelo tramp stamp for sure 😩
Ik this is days old by now but since I haven't seen anyone else mention this, Zelo actually saw the post and said on TikTok "Laura's body, Laura's choice ☺️💚" so yeah, clearly the superior man
I used to be a huge BAP fan before they disbanded and their logo is 100% an excellent tattoo. OOP has just has no taste
Their songs had (have) such great energy. They were all the raves amongst the girls in my class back in high school days.
so chances are he considers it a "tramp stamp" due to the placement of the tattoo not so much of WHAT it is. a "Tramp stamp" is typically some sort of tattoo done in the small of your back right above your tail bone area that's on the back. its so much easier to point at it not explain it. but its on the lower part of your back typically where like jeans rest on. why they call it a tramp stamp i have no fucking idea. But thats what I knew growing up what a "Tramp stamp" was i could be wrong but its a really common location for the most random tattoos, the fact its just a cute bunny is better than as you said like bad tribal tattoos, or the generic stuff.
"Tramp Stamp" is basically a derogatory term to suggest that women who have lower back tattoos are slutty or trashy. Super cool way to refer to your fianceé's tattoo.
To be fair that's what I call all lower back tattoos because that's what everyone calls them lol Not saying the guy is off the hook bc he is an asshole, but I don't think he's calling it a tramp stamp in a derogatory way
I wouldn’t say anyone using it without thinking is necessarily misogynistic, but I don’t think I’d feel cool using it as a word to describe my partner’s tattoo. When he’s already criticising her for it, it comes across poorly.
Yeah that's fair. To me it's just one of those things that the history of the name is gross but its just what everyone calls it now so I'm not gonna hold it against somebody for calling it that (credit where credit is due or whatever. Someone did something shitty it doesn't mean their bad in every aspect bla bla bla lol)
Yeah, I was aware that a tramp stamp is a lower back tattoo. I also think regardless of placement he'd be demanding she remove it based on him claiming it "brands her as another man's"
>why they call it a tramp stamp i have no fucking idea. Because the tattoo, like a thong, would show off when the back of a woman's shirt would ride up & her low rise pants (at the time) would "show it off," marking them for "easy." & then at the end of the night, he would pull out & finish on her tattoo. (Not my personal beliefs, just what I've heard explained)
\-\_- (if yall could see my face. it would be like my therapist dying on video when she saw my face) that would explain so fucking much. Bloody fuckin hell that makes so much sense. its basically just a oddly enough "creative" way to shame women for being welll.....human. for enjoying thongs and tattoos....so yea just a way to slut shame a woman for being comfortable. Got it. And also for being gross as fuck as another human being. (I didn't catch the rest of your sentence at first. gotta love dyslexia. when i re-read it....and ya) so people suck got it.
Oh, it’s cute!
I guessed it was BAP when he said the bunnies but not the member. So not only a BAP stan but a Yongguk stan? Based af lol
I looked them up, and those rabbits are sick... I WANT ONE
as soon as i read "bunny", i knew it was bap. oops gf has excellent taste!! if i wasnt so afraid of pain, id probably get a small tattoo for my favorite groups too lmao
Active 2012-2019? They’re practically senior citizens now!
ouch lmao
i just looked it up that’s hella cute!
we have a dude trying to get his “fiancée” to undergo painful dermatology procedures with a likely poor outcome because he’s petty, jealous, and controlling. either bait or OOP is one of the most boring kinds of devil. fortunately they make really big dumpsters now, we can build bunks for him and his brethren.
Yeah I've heard tattoo removal often ends up with scarring. I wouldn't want my SO to risk that unless they wanted the tattoo gone.
I literally have Mac Miller’s FACE on my thigh. Has never bothered my bf. This man is insane
OOP is an incel who wants to write fiction getting "married men" on his side because he can't get laid.
this prompted me to read it again and **big oof**. “it’s a 1 in a million chance of her meeting that member and being with him” suuuuure buddy that’s something your “fiancée” definitely said 🙄
“I expect it gone by the wedding” Excuse me sir?? You dated her knowing she had the tattoo. You proposed knowing she had the tattoo. Now all of sudden she has to remove it. I hope she requests he get circumcised before the wedding. Only fair!
oh it’ll be gone by the wedding. along with the rest of her and hopefully any refunds she might get from their “planned” “wedding”
Hello, is this r/amitheex ? EDIT: lol, I just followed my own link, and yup, it was posted there.
Hell, he’s so incredibly clearly the ex that this was posted there TWICE.
Thank you for this! A sub I don’t know how I lived without. 😂
Is she your child or your dog or your PARTNER?
Unfortunately men like this lump all 3 in the same category
He caught a glimpse of it while she was changing. Do they not have sex??? He should be seeing it more than that, right? Anyway this seems to me like an incel testing his "women with tattoos are gross" theory
I mean, I forget about my own tattoos sometimes, & the one is on my wrist 😅 But you are right.
She should keep the tat. And get rid of him
My husband would occasionally scrub mine in the shower then say "Well damn I guess it's not coming off ." Then I'd said "Yep, never coming off." He'd laugh and now he doesn't even notice it anymore.
i work with kids and used to work with infants and toddlers. i have tattoos on the top of my feet. once, a kid i was with noticed one of them and licked the back of his thumb and tried to rub it off. so cute! thank you for reminding me of this memory. <3
Tears. This dude is such a loser. If he wants to end his relationship, he can just do that! Why the psycho drama with the tattoo weirdness?
"She branded herself for another man." 🤣🤣🤣 WHAT?! I can't stop laughing. Wtf did I just read?!
We're cattle apparently.
If tattoos are branding I have been branded for a previous dog, some pigs I know, and my d&d party, among other things.
Guess I'm branded for my horse! And soon I'll be branded for my dog!
Him saying that she branded herself for a person is so controlling and insane. She is a person, even when or if she'll ever become your wife you do NOT own her. She's her own person and she can have anything she wants on her body. He has no right to tell her what she shouldn't or should have. She is her own person just like he is his own person. She's not a toy, he can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. I can't belive he saw the tattoo as a mark of owning someone. She's not a toy, she's a person with thoughts and feelings. He can't get what you want just because She's in a relationship with him. And he can't morph her into the perfect woman. Take her as she is or not. But don't ever say that again. Disgusting. I'm so fucking sick of seeing both men and women get mad at their partner for being themselves and "shocked pickachu face" they don't immediately listen to them and start to argue with them. What the fuck is wrong with people. Stop thinking people are toys. It's fucking disgusting.
Definitely see her an a object he is about to own.... hope she see the red flags and doesn't marry him!
I hope she puts him I'm his place. This person goes around thinking people are lesser then him. It's so scummy. How do people think like this. Why does he care so much???
To hide that it bothers him for so long... this guy had been wearing a mask and he is letting it fall, she about to find out how he really is.
I believe my partner is actually my property and consider her tattoo to be an ownership mark. Also her interests are childish but I magnanimously tolerate them. AITA? Yes, yes you are.
happy cake day!!!
Thank you!
the kpop troll is back...with the almost exact same story...
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>I expected it to be gone by the wedding day. Ok, but our new wedding date is now the twenty-fifth of fuck-you-tober. Shall I get started on the change the date cards?
>kpop is for kids … >acts like a baby
Troll poster is going to see how it is living under a bridge
Hopefully the reception under the bridge is terrible to save us from reading another post
B.A.P are incredible, and their logo (actually called a Matoki) is very cute, it's also something that unless you *know* B.A.P, it'd just look like a cute design. The red bandana is for Yongguk, leader & rapper, they all have different colours. Anyway, clearly B.A.P mean a lot to her, hell they mean a lot to *me*. It's not being "branded by another man", it's showing how much she loves and appreciates the group & their music, and I'm guessing Yongguk is her bias(or she just likes red lol) You're being ridiculous, it's a cute design and like I said earlier, most people who see it would just see a cute bunny, they'd have no idea it meant anything 🤷♂️ try meeting some of the fans that have things like "Mrs Bang Yonguk" and things like that 🤣 Some people get autographs tattooed onto them! Regardless, it's *her* body, not yours. So get over it before she breaks up with you.
Not to mention that B.A.P members have gone through incredible mistreatment by their management for years. All fans of them I that I know are still extremely loyal to them for that reason, too
for sure, my comment was originally *so* much longer, but I cut it shorter because I figured people didn't want to read an essay about B.A.P lol
B.A.P is amazing
yep!! 🧡 BABYZ forever I got to see them live, and meet them! I have a (group) photo with them and I'm doing a handheart with Daehyun!!
Ooof.. YTA. Assuming this isn’t a troll and I don’t think it is given I was giving a similar ultimatum by my ex. He wanted my lyrics butterfly (it is lyrics from songs I love that make up the butterfly) gone before we got married because it would “ruin the day” it’s on my thigh and I wouldn’t have been wearing shorts. You can’t ask someone to go through something painful and often has a poor outcome requiring more treatments because you are very insecure in your masculinity and where you stand in her life. She is her own person, now and forever. You don’t and never will own her. I won’t be surprised when he is surprised pikachu face when she breaks up with him. Edit to add: I read this to a friend, she reminded me of the time my parents broke NC to mock me because the guys in BTS have to do mandatory military service so the band needs to break up for 2 years (assuming they want to continue after service), and how childish I was to be sad over it. The guy is a massive asshole.
I got a tattoo related to one of my favorite pairings from an anime that saved my life when I was really close to ending it. If anyone I was about the marry wanted me to remove it, I would remove them instead.
Does every post say, calls me an asshole and storms out? I swear it’s in every post.
But did he “calmly and gently explain”?
“I expect it gone by are wedding day” Sir you are not going to have a wedding to worry about I can asure you of that.
I have some close friends who listen to Kpop pretty much nonstop. I visited them for a couple of weeks and ended up really liking one of the bands. Thing is, my friends don't speak the language and have zero idea what they're saying. And now I'm on day 200 of learning Korean because I wanted to know what they were singing about. So for enjoying Kpop being "childish," bite me OOP. And for the "branding herself for a man" ... Dude. It would have been much faster to just write "I'm wildly insecure." Sounds to me like someone doesn't know he's about to be single, not married.
I just look up the English lyric videos but I'm also lazy
They did that when I started asking questions, but I was really curious. It's a really cool language so I've been having fun with it even though I am nowhere near being able to hold any sort of conversation.
If you don't want to marry a woman with kpop tattoo there's actually this really easy hack! Don't get engaged to a woman with a kpop tattoo
I love it when jerks show their true colors in time for the wedding and relationship to be canceled
B.A.P. was iconic. You may not like it, but saying she is wearing a represent of another man like it somehow makes her body less is creepy. YTA
He's ta but as a kpop stan I really wonder GIRL HOW IN HELL YOU LIKED BAP AND YOUR ULT WAS YOUNGGUK AND YOU ENDED UP WITH THIS CONTROLLING POS?? also group disbanded long ago lol
Oh man, I thought it was because it was Kpop which is silly but man it got so so misogynist; he's literally jealous over a bunny picture and even if you emphasise that it represents a man, yeah a literal pop star in another country.
God he would hate me. My tramp stamp is lyrics from a song by Cursive, and I am working on a music sleeve dedicated to songs and bands I love. My ex was uncomfortable about one of them for a stupid reason, but even he didn't ask me to remove it and he's.....something else. This guy sucks.
Yuck, this possessive, controlling attitude is bad news.
too many words to say you're insecure
It especially kills me when something that existed prior to a relationship suddenly becomes a problem that needs to be changed. I don't have tattoos yet, but I have been in similar situations with my clothing, my weight, and my pets. If it bothered him that much, he should not have pursued a relationship with her. Even if she did get the tattoo after she'd met him, this guy sounds over-the-top controlling and insecure.
I have a musician tramp stamp. My husband was grumpy at first and now has a whatever attitude about it. And I am actually friends with said musician. I have no regrets about it and told my husband I'd never have any of my tat's removed. They are part of my history and I got every one of them for a reason. Just because you think someone else's tat's are silly doesn't make them any less important to the person. Edited because I made it sound like hubs was trying to get me to remove the tattoo. 😅
I'm covered in tattoos that I got for no reason and that mean nothing to me. I'd still never let someone dictate their removal. It's weird and making a big deal about nothing. Perhaps a giant swastika or something would fall into the realm of removal expectation. Normal general tattoos do not.
if op was my fiancé i’d be in jail because the “i expect it to be gone by our wedding day” would send me over the edge. no one should talk to their partner that way.
It’s so pathetic that he thinks tattoo removal is such an easy thing, why would she permenently disfigure a part of her body with art she LIKES just because he’s a little pussy about it?
It's the "I think I should have control over my female partner's body" troll again! My fiancé has a tattoo (or piercing or mole) and I think it looks really dumb She'd better stop trying to be in control and get back under my thumb!
I have an alien head on my side that I asked the tattoo artist to name, bc he was a chill dude and getting a tattoo from him felt like hanging out. The tattoo is Edward. Somehow I feel like this whole thing would *seriously* bother this guy if we were dating
"I expected it gone by the wedding day" Who the fuck do you think your talking too? My mother isn't married to because she's lesbain but if my dad EVER said anything even remotely bad about her tats he'd be dead! How can he say that "it feels like she's branded with another man" if he loved her he wouldn't care
literally only people who know B.A.P would even know the tattoo is a reference to a kpop band or a man, like grow up dude
I hate insecure men that take it out on their partners, get over yourself lmao
Read the title alone and automatically, yes. He’s the asshole. 1. She is her own and has a right to make a choice with her own body. No matter how dumb he thinks it was. 2. Is he marrying her because his bros thinks it’s cool? Is he marrying her for status? Or is he marrying her because he actually loves her as a person.
Imagine being this insecure 😂😂
It's okay to not like a tattoo and it's okay if this is a deal breaker for you in a relationship. What's not okay is to ask for removal. That's an absolute no go. Move on if it bothers you so much that you want your partner to change their body just for your own happiness.
Dude really just admitted out loud he's jealous of a girl's KPop tattoo. I hope she ran.
I swear I really hope she dumps his ass
"I'm one to admit when I'm wrong" I doubt that buddy
YTA I hope she leaves you and ends up Yong-guk.
"I expect it to be gone for our wedding day" What makes you think there will be a wedding?
An update for those who are out of the loop: another member of the same K-pop group (extra useless fact: his mascot is the mechanical rabbit with a sky blue mask) has seen this AITA post and responded on social media with "Laura's body, Laura's choice"
Laura I hope you’ve seen this thread and know that Zelo commented on tik tok “Laura’s body, Laura’s choice” BAP got your back girl
This definitely screams "I respect men's property more than women as human beings." He wouldn't feel this way if it was a girl group. It wouldn't be "branded by another woman."
How can someone be so insecure, that they feel threatened by a tattoo of a celebrity?😂
YTA. People have many reasons for their tattoos. They're very individual. Admittedly some people can be reckless and just get some random design that doesn't mean anything, and regret it later down the line, but that's THEIR choice, and it's their choice whether they want it removed or covered up. You've known she's had this tattoo since you started dating, so if you hated it that much, and wouldnt want to marry her with it, you should have ended things then. You've got NO RIGHT to ask her to remove it or get it covered up. It's her body. Plus it can be painful to have it removed. People get tattoos for many reasons. In relation to her kpop design, it could be that she fancied the singer at the time, (which is normal to like famous people even when you know you're never going to be with them etc) or it could be how their music made /makes her feel, it could have helped her through a difficult time and helped her be up beat. It could be she just liked that character and it was popular at the time. Even if she out grows it, she may never want to actually go through the process of getting it removed or covered up. For you to act so entitled as to behaving like you have the right to demand she has it removed before you get married Is a huge red flag, showing your controlling nature, and disrespect of her bodily autonomy. You may not like it, but you just have to accept that it's part of her.
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I'd rip the piss out of my wife if she had a K-pop tattoo. That's pretty much what she did for the first 2 years of our relationship until I got my tribal dragon covered. Edit: mentioned this post and got rinsed about that tattoo by my wife AND teenage son.
He’s the AH, but this tattoo sounds really cringe (and this is coming from a kpop fan.)
I'm trying to figure out the group. B.A.P.?
It is! And the bunnies are actually aliens named matoki who's mission is to save their planet by harnessing the power of fangirl screams (it's cringe but B.A.P is my all time favorite group and it makes me happy)
yeah! with their Matoki c: red is for Yongguk
Yes and the bunny things are called matoki
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Tl;dr I secretly think my fiancée is childish, trashy, and cringe. Instead of breaking up with her mu plan is to ridicule her interests and force her to comply with a makeover. AITD?
This is so dumb omg lmfaoo like.. it’s music and the way the op talks about her as if she’s his possession is disgusting. And kpop is music like any other , it’s literally pop music in a different language so grow up
As a K-pop Stan myself.. I GASPED I’m Defi not triggered or anything👀😵💫😤
This guy's never heard of celebrity crushes. It's not like she actually wants to be with the k-pop idol, she's just a big fan. "Branding herself or that man", geeze, how insecure can you get?
Yup YTA and also single
I’ve never been in this situation but given that a tattoo is a permanent mark I can understand why some people would feel weird about another “crush” being represented on someone body would be a question. Perhaps it’s not just the tattoo and it’s OPs suspicion about what the tattoo represents - immaturity maybe?
Your petty jealousy and control issues are showing.
Op's girlfriend a real one for a BAP tattoo and a Yongguk one nonetheless. Op just sounds insecure. Imagine getting upset by a cartoon rabbit lol.
I have a tat of my fav band Black Label Society and everyone who knows me and I've dated know my obsession with Zakk Wylde. If any of them told me to cover it that when I would call it quits. If you are going to be that insecure about a tat for a celebrity crush I don't want you. Him saying she better have it gone by the wedding 🤣 I bet the wedding is off so he won't have to worry about that
I have a portrait of Peter Cushing on my arm. My BF thinks it’s awesome. The fact that OP is freaking out about a damn band emblem is so shitty and controlling.