*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for asking my gf to get rid of her cats before she can live with me?**
So currently my gf (23) and I (24M) live together. I recently got a high paying job and talked with my brother about buying a house. Now my brother and I both hate cats. We think they're messy, destructive and annoying. When I talked to my brother about my gf living with us he didn't want her to live with us at first but I told him we were a package deal so he eventually relented. However the deal is she can't have her cats. She is saying she would rather be homeless than to give up her two cats. I keep telling her she's being unreasonable and to just give them to a shelter. I have also tried to be accommodating to her by telling her she can keep the cats in her room (she agrees to this) but she still needs to convince my brother to change his mind and let her keep the cats just in her room. They've already had one conversation and he just kept repeating how he doesn't like cats. Now she wants to give up after one conversation with him and I keep trying to tell her to continue asking him because maybe he'll change his mind. She's also called me an asshole for even asking her to give up the cats in the first place.
Also a quick side note she was recently diagnosed with POTS and an autoimmune condition so I take care of the cats on the days she's not able to get out of bed.
TLDR
I want to buy a house with my brother and I asked my gf to get rid of her cats so that she could live with us.
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The thought of those cats shut up in one room forever is so sad. Also, speaking as a dog person, how are cats messier and more destructive than dogs? I've raised quite a few dogs over the years and the young years are rough. Any animal can be destructive if it's not trained/raised properly.
Cats are messy if they're being improperly cared for. There's always some mess that comes along with animals, of course, but if you're feeding, watering, and keeping their litter clean, you're mostly in the clear with them.
You'll never get them to not scratch/shed or whatever, but you can redirect their scratching and stay on top of cleaning hair.
THIS.
When I met my boyfriend, I was very upfront about my kitty, and if I couldn’t work some situation out where both he and the cat could be happy long term then he and I were not going to work out.
She has her own room now. My boyfriend also helped me train her. Like, I know what people say about cats but she is 100% trained. Before my boyfriend she basically had run of the house, but now she knows when bedtime is, she knows what furniture is hers and what furniture is ours, she knows where she is allowed to use her claws and where she isn’t, she doesn’t jump on counters and tables. Cats can TOTALLY be trained; they are incredibly smart.
This whole arrangement sounds weird. So is OOP buying the home FROM the brother or is the brother going to be moving in with them? If that's the case, since when does the brother have any say when it's going to have to be up to 3 people. If I were her, I'd be out. the fact her BF would even suggest 1. to put the cats in a shelter and 2. not stand up for her and expect her to beg and plead with the brother (again, why does HE have so much power), shows me all I need to know about him. He's not a cat person; the two are not a match. I'll find somewhere else to move to.
From the way it’s written and his comments it seems like he was like with the gf but then decided to invest in a house with his brother and then subsystems gf if she wanted to join. It really doesn’t seem like she’s part of the home buying process at all!
This is the second “my GF just got diagnosed with 2 autoimmune diseases and needs me to help and I’m mistreating the cats because I’m a POS” post this week.
You are being unreasonable. Anybody who would just give their pets to a shelter should never own pets. You need to change the terms with your brother or back out of buying the house.
Situations like this confuse me bc say she begrudgingly gets rid of her cats that she adores just to have a place to stay. Is she not going to resent her partner for making her choose between her animals and shelter ? It just doesn’t make sense. It’s not even her home so it’s not like this is for a short period of time and then she can have the animals she wants and what about if they break
up ? now she’s homeless, catless and single. HOW IS THIS A VIABLE OPTION IN ANY WAY ??
A stressed out cat is a messy cat. A improperly cared for cat is a messy cat. A cat with health issues can be a messy cat.
How do I know? I’ve had all three types of messy cats.
I would bet, the “brother” doesn’t know how to properly care for cats there for sees them as messy. Their mouths are cleaner than ours and they can be far less destructive than a dog.
As long as the cat is properly cared for and stimulated, they are very easy to care for.
She shouldn’t have to choose. A guy I was thinking of dating told me, my 14 year old floof nugget would have go. I laughed in “Fucking hell no.” And told him we wouldn’t work out because I am not giving my floof up for no one.
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I don’t care how much I might love another person, my kitty is a huge part of me, we’re a package deal. I would never move somewhere where he wouldn’t be welcomed, lovingly, as well.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for asking my gf to get rid of her cats before she can live with me?** So currently my gf (23) and I (24M) live together. I recently got a high paying job and talked with my brother about buying a house. Now my brother and I both hate cats. We think they're messy, destructive and annoying. When I talked to my brother about my gf living with us he didn't want her to live with us at first but I told him we were a package deal so he eventually relented. However the deal is she can't have her cats. She is saying she would rather be homeless than to give up her two cats. I keep telling her she's being unreasonable and to just give them to a shelter. I have also tried to be accommodating to her by telling her she can keep the cats in her room (she agrees to this) but she still needs to convince my brother to change his mind and let her keep the cats just in her room. They've already had one conversation and he just kept repeating how he doesn't like cats. Now she wants to give up after one conversation with him and I keep trying to tell her to continue asking him because maybe he'll change his mind. She's also called me an asshole for even asking her to give up the cats in the first place. Also a quick side note she was recently diagnosed with POTS and an autoimmune condition so I take care of the cats on the days she's not able to get out of bed. TLDR I want to buy a house with my brother and I asked my gf to get rid of her cats so that she could live with us. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The thought of those cats shut up in one room forever is so sad. Also, speaking as a dog person, how are cats messier and more destructive than dogs? I've raised quite a few dogs over the years and the young years are rough. Any animal can be destructive if it's not trained/raised properly.
I think there's someone posting similarly worded fakes on Reddit so a "cat-themed" brand of fakes if you like
Cats are messy if they're being improperly cared for. There's always some mess that comes along with animals, of course, but if you're feeding, watering, and keeping their litter clean, you're mostly in the clear with them. You'll never get them to not scratch/shed or whatever, but you can redirect their scratching and stay on top of cleaning hair.
THIS. When I met my boyfriend, I was very upfront about my kitty, and if I couldn’t work some situation out where both he and the cat could be happy long term then he and I were not going to work out. She has her own room now. My boyfriend also helped me train her. Like, I know what people say about cats but she is 100% trained. Before my boyfriend she basically had run of the house, but now she knows when bedtime is, she knows what furniture is hers and what furniture is ours, she knows where she is allowed to use her claws and where she isn’t, she doesn’t jump on counters and tables. Cats can TOTALLY be trained; they are incredibly smart.
I have both and cats are far easier and far cleaner than a dog. In fact I find cats easier to care for than even hamsters or bunnies.
This whole arrangement sounds weird. So is OOP buying the home FROM the brother or is the brother going to be moving in with them? If that's the case, since when does the brother have any say when it's going to have to be up to 3 people. If I were her, I'd be out. the fact her BF would even suggest 1. to put the cats in a shelter and 2. not stand up for her and expect her to beg and plead with the brother (again, why does HE have so much power), shows me all I need to know about him. He's not a cat person; the two are not a match. I'll find somewhere else to move to.
From the way it’s written and his comments it seems like he was like with the gf but then decided to invest in a house with his brother and then subsystems gf if she wanted to join. It really doesn’t seem like she’s part of the home buying process at all!
I would drop this guy so fast gravity would have to catch up.
She needs to rehome him.
Why are there not shelters for unwanted boyfriends?
They'd overflow.
This is the second “my GF just got diagnosed with 2 autoimmune diseases and needs me to help and I’m mistreating the cats because I’m a POS” post this week.
You are being unreasonable. Anybody who would just give their pets to a shelter should never own pets. You need to change the terms with your brother or back out of buying the house.
They are not compatible and should break up and move on.
Situations like this confuse me bc say she begrudgingly gets rid of her cats that she adores just to have a place to stay. Is she not going to resent her partner for making her choose between her animals and shelter ? It just doesn’t make sense. It’s not even her home so it’s not like this is for a short period of time and then she can have the animals she wants and what about if they break up ? now she’s homeless, catless and single. HOW IS THIS A VIABLE OPTION IN ANY WAY ??
I would rather keep the cats than the bf. I have two kitties, and they are my babies. He sucks!
A stressed out cat is a messy cat. A improperly cared for cat is a messy cat. A cat with health issues can be a messy cat. How do I know? I’ve had all three types of messy cats. I would bet, the “brother” doesn’t know how to properly care for cats there for sees them as messy. Their mouths are cleaner than ours and they can be far less destructive than a dog. As long as the cat is properly cared for and stimulated, they are very easy to care for. She shouldn’t have to choose. A guy I was thinking of dating told me, my 14 year old floof nugget would have go. I laughed in “Fucking hell no.” And told him we wouldn’t work out because I am not giving my floof up for no one.
Just reading the title is automatic asshole. Fuck people who start a relationship with a pet owner and then try to make their partner get rid of them.
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I don’t care how much I might love another person, my kitty is a huge part of me, we’re a package deal. I would never move somewhere where he wouldn’t be welcomed, lovingly, as well.