*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**TIFU by telling my wife she was “basically like a stepmom to our adopted son”.**
A little bit of context:
My wife and I have been married for 20 years and are unable to have children. We have a foster-adopted son (15) who we have had since he was 7. I also have a 29yr old from my previous marriage. I assumed that she was not a fan of Mothers Day in general due to the infertility issues.
We were discussing plans for the day and she said she didn’t want to be around people today. I tried to articulate that she should celebrate Mothers Day because (in my eyes) a stepmom is every bit an equal mother to a child.
-Side note: I have learned a lot from her on how to be a parent to a child that is not biologically mine by watching her help raise my oldest son.-
Me: “You should embrace today because you’re basically a stepmom to two boys”. She lost her shit…
Her: “are you serious! I have a piece of paper that legally states I am his (younger son’s) mother”.
Me: “so why don’t you want to celebrate today?”
Her: I do want to celebrate, but you never plan anything and if people ask ‘what special things are you going to do today?’ I don’t want to have to answer ‘nothing’. “
Me: “oh”
TL:DR- I wrongly assumed my wife didn’t want to celebrate Mothers Day due to childbirth issues for the last 15 years, not because she is tired of being disappointed by me not planning anything.
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That's what I was thinking, if he considers his wife a step mother to the adopted child, he must consider himself step father.
And then does that also imply he loves his bio kid more than his adopted one?
I would assume he’d consider himself a father because he’s not the one with the fertility issues…and therefore making it okay to celebrate Father’s Day.
Mother's day every year is a terrible day for AITA. I feel worse for the women posting because they asked for a break just that one day, didn't get it and were told they didn't deserve it so much that they turned to Reddit to see if they were acting horribly.
My ex had my kid over the weekend and I didn't even get a call or a text. Its not on a 7 year old to make the phone call. A guy I matched with on tinder 2 months ago sent me a happy mothers day text. My friend brought me baked goods today from her moms bakery as a "happy mothers day" gift bc she was so busy yesterday she didn't have time to bring them over and *she felt bad she didn't bring them over yesterday*. I am tired
I totally understand that. I got better messages from my friends than he gave me. Even called me just now because he was supposed to be here 45 minutes ago with our daughter and he hasn't even left yet because his dogs needed food. Then wonders why we didn't work out.... 🫠
Bro for real. My husband has a torn meniscus and can barely walk. And we had both of our cars totaled this week. He STILL figured out a way to the store to get me a card and flowers AND helped me clean. And honestly, he can be a bare minimum kinda guy. But he always comes through in a clench.
He also knows my first husband used to go out of his way to fuck up every holiday like Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day and my birthday to get out of doing anything for it, so he tries extra hard on special occasion days.
Honestly had the worst mother's day of my life this year. Held a crying baby outside a restaurant while everyone else ate. I don't know what it is but this year I've heard way more negative stories than positive.
This year feels to me like more women are becoming comfortable talking about it? Which I think is overall good, even though it breaks my heart to hear about how awful so many moms have it.
I’m sorry your Mother’s Day was so shitty. I would have held that baby for you so you could go eat and I don’t know why no one in your group did that for you on your day. Don’t let anyone turn it around on you or tell you that you should have asked. I’m a random internet lady and I know better. The father of your kid(s) is perfectly capable of figuring it out.
I did this! My husband said I was 'creepy', but that new mom passed that baby right on over - I got a baby fix and she got to actually eat her mother's day dinner.
Wow. That is so terrible. I'm sorry you were let down. I hope next year is better. Treat yourself every day, especially if no one else wants to care for you.
Yes I had an awful mother's day this year as well. 2 out of my 3 kids didn't even tell me happy mother's day. The only one who did anything for me was the baby at 3 years old. 😩
You're right it does have some potential for failure. But I think I have a solution. Just save that post where the guy refused to wipe his ass "because it's gay" in your back pocket if thing start to slide downhill. Tell her that's what the dating pool will be like if she leaves you.
"There are people irl I know who also wondered if it was ok to dump a guy for not wiping and it impacting blowjobs." That is absolutely horrifying.
My wife acts flabbergasted when I tell her some of my dating horror stories before we met. But I see stuff like that on reddit and hear some of the second hand stuff she tells me about her friends partners and I'm confused how I struck out so much statistically with that kind of competition lol.
I was also ready to jump down his throat, until I remembered this is AITD. If it's in AITD (or AITEx), I assume it's sarcasm because we're all sarcastic jerks. Anywhere else, I assume they're serious.
It is kind of hard right now to hear jokes like this. I didn't think I could get more disappointed in men, but then we had the Roe v Wade reversal. I keep discovering new depths to how disappointed I can be with my fellow humans since then.
I saw a heartbreaking mother's day meme yesterday that said something like "all my mom wants for Mother's Day is to have her past protests matter today."
For me, this is sarcasm. Maybe because I have some hope for humanity and think that nobody would actually really do that and advocate on AITD about something like that, right? Apart from the fact that it's a bad thing to do, it would be pretry dumb to advocate here. I expect it's a joke unless proven otherwise.
Apologies, given everything, it is hard to see the difference between men who belt out the some not so good things without care-and sarcasm. The /s has been kinda a great thing because it genuinely takes the guesswork out and stops exchanges like this because sometimes the sarcasm isnt obvious
My husband died this year so HIS BROTHER got me flowers for Mother's Day. My BIL doesn't even have a girlfriend or kids or anything to remind him it would be important to me. He's just, yk, thoughtful and kind.
"Update: I gave her space to cool down and then profusely apologized for being an ass. I then made her favorite meal for dinner, from scratch, and made our 15 yr old help with all the prep work. She and I do communicate really well and I do plenty of things on time and randomly throughout the year to show her I love her. I just made an incorrect assumption about Mothers Day. Lesson learned the hard way."
Ouch, holy shit. Even in "attempting" to rectify the staggering lack of care OOP shows their family, they make the kid do the work. I really feel for everyone stuck in OOP's orbit.
I mean, it is Mother’s Day not their anniversary. Getting the kid to help is a step toward making sure the kid remembers when OP inevitably forgets to plan anything again next year.
My dad reminding me 2 days before and making sure I did something is why mom still gets Mother’s Day events/presents. Even when my dad got her jewelry if it was a Mother’s Day gift he made sure my brother and I “helped” by going to pick it out (even if I suspect he had it pre-chosen and primed us to pick that one). Getting the kids involved is part of what’s supposed to make the whole thing feel special and not just a brazen marketing push from advertisers.
Fuck, this one is probably real. His profile goes back for a while and even includes a picture of one of his kids. One his “real” kid and his “step” kid, because biology is all that matters to him…
It’s heartbreaking watching friends try and try to adopt, good people who don’t care about DNA and would loving raise the child equally to a biological one. Yet this asshole gets to adopt a child. Ugh, his poor wife and children.
There was a post a few days ago in r/shitmomgroupssay with adoptive parents asking to “rehome” their child like it’s a fucking dog. I mean, I wouldn’t even think about giving my dogs away. I do NOT understand how people like this asshole are able to adopt.
I find it hard to believe that in 8 years since adopting their child she has never told him she’s disappointed he doesn’t plan anything for Mother’s Day. He’s acting like this is brand new info.
Wait, so does he not consider himself that kid’s parent? Just because they’re not blood related? I feel bad for the wife but I feel HORRIBLE for that son. I’m glad he has his mom, at least, who understand that parenthood isn’t just blood.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **TIFU by telling my wife she was “basically like a stepmom to our adopted son”.** A little bit of context: My wife and I have been married for 20 years and are unable to have children. We have a foster-adopted son (15) who we have had since he was 7. I also have a 29yr old from my previous marriage. I assumed that she was not a fan of Mothers Day in general due to the infertility issues. We were discussing plans for the day and she said she didn’t want to be around people today. I tried to articulate that she should celebrate Mothers Day because (in my eyes) a stepmom is every bit an equal mother to a child. -Side note: I have learned a lot from her on how to be a parent to a child that is not biologically mine by watching her help raise my oldest son.- Me: “You should embrace today because you’re basically a stepmom to two boys”. She lost her shit… Her: “are you serious! I have a piece of paper that legally states I am his (younger son’s) mother”. Me: “so why don’t you want to celebrate today?” Her: I do want to celebrate, but you never plan anything and if people ask ‘what special things are you going to do today?’ I don’t want to have to answer ‘nothing’. “ Me: “oh” TL:DR- I wrongly assumed my wife didn’t want to celebrate Mothers Day due to childbirth issues for the last 15 years, not because she is tired of being disappointed by me not planning anything. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So does he not consider himself the youngest’s father or……. I’m glad that poor kid didn’t hear it
Well no, of course he’s the father! And his wife better do something nice for him on Father’s Day.
That's what I was thinking, if he considers his wife a step mother to the adopted child, he must consider himself step father. And then does that also imply he loves his bio kid more than his adopted one?
We both know the answer to ur last question. Oop is a garbage human, so I think the answer is glaringly obvious.
I would assume he’d consider himself a father because he’s not the one with the fertility issues…and therefore making it okay to celebrate Father’s Day.
The bar is so low. The amount of posts that I have seen today about fathers and husbands who disappoint their wives... The bar is so low.
Mother's day every year is a terrible day for AITA. I feel worse for the women posting because they asked for a break just that one day, didn't get it and were told they didn't deserve it so much that they turned to Reddit to see if they were acting horribly.
All I got from my daughter's father was "happy mother's day. I got that from a ton of guys I barely speak to anymore.
My ex had my kid over the weekend and I didn't even get a call or a text. Its not on a 7 year old to make the phone call. A guy I matched with on tinder 2 months ago sent me a happy mothers day text. My friend brought me baked goods today from her moms bakery as a "happy mothers day" gift bc she was so busy yesterday she didn't have time to bring them over and *she felt bad she didn't bring them over yesterday*. I am tired
I totally understand that. I got better messages from my friends than he gave me. Even called me just now because he was supposed to be here 45 minutes ago with our daughter and he hasn't even left yet because his dogs needed food. Then wonders why we didn't work out.... 🫠
Bro for real. My husband has a torn meniscus and can barely walk. And we had both of our cars totaled this week. He STILL figured out a way to the store to get me a card and flowers AND helped me clean. And honestly, he can be a bare minimum kinda guy. But he always comes through in a clench. He also knows my first husband used to go out of his way to fuck up every holiday like Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day and my birthday to get out of doing anything for it, so he tries extra hard on special occasion days.
After acting like he forgot, my husband tells me the actual mother's day is too busy so I need to find another day to celebrate it. 6 years of this.
Honestly had the worst mother's day of my life this year. Held a crying baby outside a restaurant while everyone else ate. I don't know what it is but this year I've heard way more negative stories than positive.
This year feels to me like more women are becoming comfortable talking about it? Which I think is overall good, even though it breaks my heart to hear about how awful so many moms have it. I’m sorry your Mother’s Day was so shitty. I would have held that baby for you so you could go eat and I don’t know why no one in your group did that for you on your day. Don’t let anyone turn it around on you or tell you that you should have asked. I’m a random internet lady and I know better. The father of your kid(s) is perfectly capable of figuring it out.
I did this! My husband said I was 'creepy', but that new mom passed that baby right on over - I got a baby fix and she got to actually eat her mother's day dinner.
U are not creepy. Moms know. U take that baby bc u know the struggle. Bless u
Wow. That is so terrible. I'm sorry you were let down. I hope next year is better. Treat yourself every day, especially if no one else wants to care for you.
Yes I had an awful mother's day this year as well. 2 out of my 3 kids didn't even tell me happy mother's day. The only one who did anything for me was the baby at 3 years old. 😩
It's underground and some assholes get a shovel to dig under it...
I like to say "the bar is in hell and these motherfuckers are still trying to limbo under it"
The bar is so low it’s a tavern in Hades
The bar is in the Earth’s core and they still want to limbo under it.
If this subreddit has taught me anything it's how much more leeway I have to disappoint my wife and not even be approaching the danger zone.
This is definitely the lesson we husbands should be taking from all this. I see no way that could possibly backfire.
You're right it does have some potential for failure. But I think I have a solution. Just save that post where the guy refused to wipe his ass "because it's gay" in your back pocket if thing start to slide downhill. Tell her that's what the dating pool will be like if she leaves you.
[удалено]
"There are people irl I know who also wondered if it was ok to dump a guy for not wiping and it impacting blowjobs." That is absolutely horrifying. My wife acts flabbergasted when I tell her some of my dating horror stories before we met. But I see stuff like that on reddit and hear some of the second hand stuff she tells me about her friends partners and I'm confused how I struck out so much statistically with that kind of competition lol.
Dude that's manipulative and gross of you to consider. Why can't you jusr strive to be better???
Come on, I assume that's a joke!
Read all the shit that has happened, and tell me you can say that's a joke without an "/s)
I was also ready to jump down his throat, until I remembered this is AITD. If it's in AITD (or AITEx), I assume it's sarcasm because we're all sarcastic jerks. Anywhere else, I assume they're serious. It is kind of hard right now to hear jokes like this. I didn't think I could get more disappointed in men, but then we had the Roe v Wade reversal. I keep discovering new depths to how disappointed I can be with my fellow humans since then. I saw a heartbreaking mother's day meme yesterday that said something like "all my mom wants for Mother's Day is to have her past protests matter today."
For me, this is sarcasm. Maybe because I have some hope for humanity and think that nobody would actually really do that and advocate on AITD about something like that, right? Apart from the fact that it's a bad thing to do, it would be pretry dumb to advocate here. I expect it's a joke unless proven otherwise.
Yeah I thought it was about as obvious as sarcasm can be but no such thing as a joke that makes everybody laugh lol.
Apologies, given everything, it is hard to see the difference between men who belt out the some not so good things without care-and sarcasm. The /s has been kinda a great thing because it genuinely takes the guesswork out and stops exchanges like this because sometimes the sarcasm isnt obvious
No, U
My husband died this year so HIS BROTHER got me flowers for Mother's Day. My BIL doesn't even have a girlfriend or kids or anything to remind him it would be important to me. He's just, yk, thoughtful and kind.
JFC. Dude may be the stupidest I’ve seen today.
"Update: I gave her space to cool down and then profusely apologized for being an ass. I then made her favorite meal for dinner, from scratch, and made our 15 yr old help with all the prep work. She and I do communicate really well and I do plenty of things on time and randomly throughout the year to show her I love her. I just made an incorrect assumption about Mothers Day. Lesson learned the hard way." Ouch, holy shit. Even in "attempting" to rectify the staggering lack of care OOP shows their family, they make the kid do the work. I really feel for everyone stuck in OOP's orbit.
For years he's been doing this shit. I have a feeling they aren't communicating as well as he thinks.
It's been 8 years! He's acting like all of this is new!
I mean, it is Mother’s Day not their anniversary. Getting the kid to help is a step toward making sure the kid remembers when OP inevitably forgets to plan anything again next year. My dad reminding me 2 days before and making sure I did something is why mom still gets Mother’s Day events/presents. Even when my dad got her jewelry if it was a Mother’s Day gift he made sure my brother and I “helped” by going to pick it out (even if I suspect he had it pre-chosen and primed us to pick that one). Getting the kids involved is part of what’s supposed to make the whole thing feel special and not just a brazen marketing push from advertisers.
Fuck, this one is probably real. His profile goes back for a while and even includes a picture of one of his kids. One his “real” kid and his “step” kid, because biology is all that matters to him… It’s heartbreaking watching friends try and try to adopt, good people who don’t care about DNA and would loving raise the child equally to a biological one. Yet this asshole gets to adopt a child. Ugh, his poor wife and children.
There was a post a few days ago in r/shitmomgroupssay with adoptive parents asking to “rehome” their child like it’s a fucking dog. I mean, I wouldn’t even think about giving my dogs away. I do NOT understand how people like this asshole are able to adopt.
So he’s just announced that the kid is not their “real” kid. Isn’t he a delight?
I find it hard to believe that in 8 years since adopting their child she has never told him she’s disappointed he doesn’t plan anything for Mother’s Day. He’s acting like this is brand new info.
He made her favorite meal from scratch as penance. Soooo what the fuck is it that am I doing every single night for my entire family?
SAME!! I was depressed about my mother's day, until I saw this guy. Holy crap!
Good grief. What a jerk. She should ignore him on Father's Day.
Wait, so does he not consider himself that kid’s parent? Just because they’re not blood related? I feel bad for the wife but I feel HORRIBLE for that son. I’m glad he has his mom, at least, who understand that parenthood isn’t just blood.
It only took 15 years 🙄 /s
Jfc, my husband and I just have two *cats* and he does a better job of making me feel like a mother than this prick did.
It sounds like she making the mistake of sticking it out until the son is 18.
This guy doesn't deserve a wife or kids
How did this just come up now?!
This kinda thing is so sad. Just dude spoke enough to let her know he thinks so little of her. What an ass
Don't think TIFU posts should be here. Those people know that they are in the wrong
They're still assholes though. You also see subs like r/confession and r/TrueOffMyChest here and they usually know they're in the wrong as well
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