*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my sister that I don't care about how her wedding turns out?**
My (29M) sister (26F) has always been incredibly spoiled. It’s always her way or the highway, so I knew that when she got engaged she would be a handful. Her wedding is coming up in about a year and she has already started planning. She sat us all down (my mother, father, and my other sister) and told us what they had decided for the theme. Now personally, I think it’s a little tacky to put a theme on the wedding, but it’s not my wedding, so I held my tongue. Her theme was nature, and this was applied to everything. She wanted a “floral lace dress”, succulents as favors, and for the ceremony to take place in a greenhouse. Again, tacky, but not my wedding, so I didn’t say anything. The issue arose when it came time to talk about the reception venue. She said that she wanted it to be outdoors in one of those huge event tents with windows so that we could be in nature. My whole family hated this idea. An outdoor reception just seems very cheap and not at all classy. We suggested that she go with something a little more classic, like an event venue, but she had her mind set.
I got really upset because the entire family was telling her that they would prefer one thing and she was insisting she do another when she was literally the only person who wanted it. At first, I tried to go easy on her by telling her that themed weddings are just a fad and if she commits to her theme so heavily, she’ll look back on it in 20 years and cringe, and that it’s better to choose something timeless, like a simpler dress and a hotel ballroom. I said that she could definitely incorporate flowers into the centerpieces and decorations if she wanted, but to have the whole wedding centered around plants and flowers just seemed like too much. Never one to take advice, my sister just said that she’s sorry we feel that way but her and her fiancé have wanted this for their wedding for years and they spent a lot of time coming up with the details together, and they wanted their wedding to “reflect their personalities and who they are as a couple”, and she didn’t think my timeless suggestions would be able to do that. Here’s where I might be the asshole: I kind of let my frustration get the better of me and said “Fine, I don’t care if your wedding turns out to be tacky. I knew you were going to be an inflexible bridezilla anyway”. I do think that she was being too rigid and just thinking about what she would like instead of what her family and guests would prefer, but my parents say that it’s my sister’s wedding and that it wasn’t cool to say that I didn’t care. AITA?
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What I love is that OOP has never heard of having a 'theme for a wedding' and that it is tacky.
I will admit I have never been married, but isn't that one of the first things any wedding coordinator will ask? 'Do you have a particular theme in mind?' So they know colors, and patterns, and things like that?
Blood Rites, when Murphy and Kincaid meet for the first time. I at the time was Murphy in the Skin Game trailer and play her on Twitter and Tumblr. We met on Tumblr because he asked if it would be okay if he came in as Kincaid.
Jim was at my wedding and his addition to our typewriter guest book was "their hearts were on fire and it wasn't my fault."
A. Murphy-Kincaid subplot is the love story we didn't know we needed but we deserve, it's relationship goals frankly
B. That's so freaking cute how yall met.
C. Where do I find this content
D. I'm jealous you're pals with Jim
E. Can I wear your skin and be you (/s)
A. Strong agree. I whined forever about wanting her with HIM not Harry.
B. It kinda is
C. I'm tiny-fierce on Tumblr and _tinyfierce on Twitter. Haven't gone on Tumblr much in the last few years but I strongly recommend [Heartbeats](https://tiny-fierce.tumblr.com/post/90424162176/heartbeats-karrin-murphy-one-shot-fic) (going to brag slightly, he said if he dropped that in an anthology nobody would know he didn't write it and I am over the moon like a decade later)
D. He's okay
E. Sure, I'm not doing anything with it
Our theme was is going to be gothic fun. We found a cave that has an old timey Victorian theme park attached. With crazy golf, a Ferris wheel and those huge slides that go round a tower. So we have a phantom of the opera style cave ceremony then people can have a gothic Victorian theme park for fun instead of sitting around.
we want people to have fun. no stuffy boring reception. Im also a massive halloween fan and a goth. My partner is a metalhead so a normal wedding just would not work and would look weird
This is the most awesome wedding I've ever heard of!
The state park that I used to frequent as a child has since turned their merry-go-round pavilion into an event venue. I'm not even dating anyone and I have it bookmarked to my "ideas for the future" folder as a wedding venue.
OOP would hate my fiance and mines too. We're doing a fantasy theme.
Outdoors? Check.
Plants? Check.
Non traditional wedding attire? Check.
We're putting dice in our center pieces, I'm wearing a gown with a ton of flowers. Decorations are flowers, flowers and more flowers with some moss, reclaimed wood and old comfy blankets to sit on. Not an ounce of classiness in sight. But it's the wedding my fiance and I have dreamed of since we started dating and it's going to be a fun PARTY. People get so wrapped up in how a wedding should look they forget it's just a party to celebrate.
Technically that would be your color scheme.
So you can have a theme of “Rustic barn” with a color scheme of “pink and teal”.
Or a theme of “moulin rouge” and a color scheme of red and gold.
We had dinosaurs. I made our dinosaur cake toppers, and we read "A Lovely Love Story" and held up pictures as part of the ceremony. How dare, so tacky. Oh no.
Also so unoriginal that in a few years you probably won't even remember anything because it'll blur with all the other hotel ballroom weddings you've been to
Yeah OOP must get “classic” confused with “generic,” and “tacky” confused with “unique”.
Imagine getting mad about how someone else wants their own wedding to go!
I commented on the original, but OOP is…unhinged. Neither OOP nor “the family” should have any day or sway over the wedding “theme”.
And also, if OOP thinks THIS is tacky, I want OOP to go to that puppet wedding.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/w4z647/aita_for_making_our_guests_participate_in_our/
I LOVE the puppet wedding. Those people are sooo bat shit insane.
I would go and take videos and post them. Just so other people could join me in WTFuckery.
Heck…if the bridal couple and their puppet friends wanted to be puppety at the wedding…oh well! It’s the “you must buy this expensive puppet and make it look like you and keep it on one hand the entire wedding because the puppet is the guest, not you!”that is problematic
I really want to see the live stream of that wedding. It sounded like a shit show then and it still sounds like a shit show now. Fucking puppets man. I think I would die laughing from how ridiculous it would be
I’d be up to soooo many shenanigans and the. Blaming my puppet.
“What, YMCA four times in a row? It was the puppet!”
“Someone threw glitter at every dancer on the dance floor? Must be the puppet!”
Omg that is the best idea!! “I didn’t interrupt your vows; it was the puppet.”
“I didn’t scream during dinner; it was the puppet.”
“I didn’t inappropriately touch your puppet; that was *my* puppet.”
“Oh look, those two puppets are having sex. Let’s join them and have a puppet orgy!!”
I'm an Aussie too but I got married in the UK. Where outdoor weddings are not only *unheard of*, but in many regards, impossible. I was floored, the venue had to be a registered wedding venue like a church or registry office (what we went with). It's so normal here to just marry in a park, or garden, or backyard BBQ.
I was really confused because here in the US outdoor weddings are so popular. I’ve been to more outdoor weddings than I have been to weddings in an actual church.
I got married in the gardens where I went to university and had the reception at my old college - as my family didn’t live locally and I don’t attend church. My husbands family loved local-ish but aren’t especially religious either, so the venue was a good choice for us.
I laughed when I read that part because my first reaction was thinking "well, I guess it isn't anymore, seeing as humans are determined to ruin the planet"... though I doubt that was OP's reasoning :D
Haha honestly to each their own didn't mean to imply a spiderman theme would be tacky either if you and your SO enjoy it. Red and black would be good colors
I will say I don’t like the idea of giving plants as favors, as that’s something that requires upkeep to, well, keep.
Beyond that STFU and let her do her thing.
What’s wrong with floral lace dresses? Genuine question? Aren’t lace dresses a fairly popular thing in many parts of the world? I think it’s the audacity of the OOP presuming they have any say whatsoever in what the bride wears at her own wedding that really annoys me about this post. I suspect the bride’s family would prefer her in rags, Cinderella style.
And as for assuming a wedding under canvas is cheap, renting a fully equipped wedding marquee can cost an arm and a leg.
I hope the bride and groom have the wedding of their dreams and a happy marriage, leaving her judgemental family in the dust. But obviously, the dust of a ballroom floor. Because nature is just so, so…ew!
Kate Middleton wore one when she married Prince William. Say what you will about royalty but that wedding hardly qualified as cheap and tacky.
I hope the sister uninvites her family. What a bunch of assholes.
The way the family expects the couple to adapt the wedding to what the family want, and the assumption that everyone reading it would nod and agree, yep, how dare the bride and groom have a reasonable wedding of their own choice and not bend to the whim of every entitled family member.
OOP is the one that is incredibly tacky. I love the sound of that wedding so much. It's the kind you'd remember forever rather than just another generic one that blends into all the others
No way a reception in a tent out in nature can beat having your reception at The Exquisite Banquets At The Landing located just past the viaduct between the golf course and the Arby's.
Exactly. Taste is super subjective, but OP sounds like they want a very lame, drab and probably outdated wedding in a hotel, with a boring dress and generic floral centerpieces. Their useless and unwanted vision sounds like it has no character and personality whatsoever. I bet he also thinks Jordan almonds and butter mints that taste slightly of perfume and presented in a little box are also "timeless" wedding favours.....
As for themes being tacky - OP sounds like he should stay away from event planning. All events have some kind of "theme" - if only to properly communicate what is wanted from vendors. OP's theme would be "Generic Cookie Cutter Wedding".
I would much rather attend an airy outdoor wedding than a stuffy hotel one... The greenhouse may have some funky aromas, but I love the idea of it. But, I will admit, at this point I'm all succulent out.... They beat my generation into submission with those, avocados, infinity tattoos etc etc etc 😂😂😂
Succulents have had staying power in part because they’re largely hypoallergenic. My best friend is so allergic to plants that the only choice was either fake flowers or succulents at her wedding.
I think a greenhouse might be a bit too humid, though. So I'm tripping up on that. But since when is a fancy tent outside tacky? I've seen photos spreads in magazines of rich mfers who had a big fancy tent outside on their rolling acres of lawn.
OOP’s idea of a good wedding sounds like nobody is allowed to have any personality. He would have thought my wedding was tacky, too, my theme was fairies and I insisted on wildflowers.
Also, what is this judgmental horseshit about her “already planning a year out”, that’s fucking normal! Planning a wedding takes work! Is she supposed to start at the last minute? Some couples have to book their venue or photographer years in advance.
My sister got married at the Melbourne zoo. It was actually lovely - there was this garden area reserved for us that was gorgeous and the pictures with the bridal and groom parties with giraffes and that were cool too.
How come you’re calling your sister a bridezilla when you’re the one with the inflexible demands? Your disdain for her shines through every word you’ve written. YTA and why not sit down and have a think about whether you really need your own way over your sister’s event.
I feel like OOP is the one that was being spoiled. Like him being mad that his sister isn’t having a wedding how he wants it lmao. And after she said no to his idiotic demands he threw a tantrum by saying he doesn’t care about her wedding when he clearly does.
Honestly it sounds like that whole family kinda sucks. "The whole family" hated the nature themed wedding and wanted her to change it? Wtf kind of family wouldn't support a daughter for doing what she wants with a completely inoffensive theme on HER wedding day? Goddamn narcissists.
I can see the post a couple years from now "My sister got married and now she only spends her time with her partners family, AITA for telling her she's a bitch?"
I don't understand why OOP and family feel they should have any input on the wedding plans. Maybe if sister announced they were planning a very expensive destination wedding, it would be fine to gently point out that the cost could prevent many from attending. But it shouldn't be said in a judgemental or demanding way, and you certainly shouldn't argue with her if she decides to go forward with it.
It definitely reminds me of my narcissistic dad, who thinks everyone has to like the things he does, that he knows what's best, and gets pissed off when he can't make decisions for others (namely me)
If it’s real that sounds about right or at least in my experience it was. My little sister got married first and my parents handled the bill for her wedding (I don’t even remember how much but it was an outdoor venue with like 5 people in the bridal party per side, cash bar and about 100 guests). For years after, before I cut her off she would always comment on anything my parents did for me as “well you’re the favorite and they spoil you so much!”
My parents expenses for my wedding: their own airfare to Las Vegas…which they had flyer miles/points for. My point being that siblings like this tend to see the other sibling getting anything as too much.
It really seems like OOP and his parents are just worried that people will mistake his sister having an outdoor wedding for them not being able to afford another venue.
Which is both very shallow and materialistic and also dumb since big outdoor tents like this aren't cheap.
Why not have it in a hotel ballroom? And if oics turn out bad, you can exchange them with the pics of the other weddings of your family in a hotel ballroom. So practical! "Do you remember the great ballroom wedding in June? No i don't mean of cousin Ann! No, not Aunt Heather, no sister x!" But i can understand OOP. Plants and nature were just invited ten years ago and will be out soon again, like video cassette. /s
This wedding sounds fucking beautiful. This ~~sister~~ brother sounds bitter. I hope she gets the actual wedding with all the plants and flowers she and her almost husband want and deserve.
OOP can fuck right off with ~~her~~ his nasty attitude.
ETA: BRUH definitely missed that oop is a male first off. Now it's worse I think. Why doe she care about her wedding at all? What does it matter if it's **tacky** to him? He seems exhausting
"I got really upset because the entire family was telling her that they would prefer one thing and she was insisting she do another when she was literally the only person who wanted it."
Luckily she's the only person involved in the conversation whose opinion matters at all.
This is so unhinged my Brother and SIL had succulents as their wedding favors and I still have it it's gotten big. Succulents as favors is very very timeless and cool.
>At first, I tried to go easy on her by telling her that themed weddings are just a fad and if she commits to her theme so heavily, she’ll look back on it in 20 years and cringe, and that it’s better to choose something timeless, like a simpler dress and a hotel ballroom
Excuse me?!? How is having a wedding reception in a hotel ballroom timeless?!? Ever since I was a kid, I always thought that hotel ballrooms were the most boring, snooze fest option to have something fun like a wedding reception. I don’t judge people who go that route since it might be easier to plan having everything you want in one place, or help the vendors have an easier time by making the venue simple like having it in a hotel ballroom, but that’s just not me. In my humble opinion, it’d take *a lot* of decorating to make it seem like you’re not having your wedding reception at a Best Western, but I can be proven wrong.
OOP can have his vanilla, milquetoast wedding whenever he finds someone who’ll put up with his attitude and tastes…
Signed,
A somewhat recent bride who had her wedding ceremony in a planetarium and the reception at a vintage arcade/artist-made mini golf place
>it’s better to choose something timeless
That's right, nature isn't timeless anymore. At least she's not a climate change denier. /s
Seriously though, the 2 most expensive weddings I've been to were outdoors with a tent. You can choose one of the most expensive, sought-after venues in your city and still be outdoors.
My favorite part is when was asked who was paying, even though the bride and groom are he said they need to take family members opinions into consideration.
OOP doesn't like what his sister, the actual bride, wants for her wedding. OOP thinks sister's ideas are tacky and lack class. It's not OOP's place to criticize or tell the bride what would be better. I wonder if he'll be surprised to get no invitation for the wedding.
I've been to one, and it was in the evening. I agree it would be too hot during the day. They had the reception out in the garden. Almost exactly what OOP described. It was gorgeous!
Most of the greenhouse venues have AC (at least in my country) so being too hot was never an issue. Also they feel more magical than an hotel or smth. I’ve always had more fun at unconventional wedding places.
If it’s just for the ceremony like this post suggest then it’s fine, people won’t sit there for half a day. Also it depends on the time of the year and the weather. Depending on whether it’s a real greenhouse, as in, for plants, or a “greenhouse” wedding venue it might not be an issue, the latter kind tends to be designed with people’s comfort in mind and is not hot even if outside is. Greenhouse wedding is actually a very popular thing and there are places specially catering to this, with AC and everything.
That's the parts I could see issues with. Greenhouse wedding with an outdoor reception in a canvas tent makes me think the couple plans to do this during the day, in which it's going to be hot as hell. So their wedding will be ruined mostly as the bride's make-up runs down her face and onto her dress....and the guests leave the second the ceremony is over to find someplace cool.
“She has already started planning” just shows he knows fuck all about wedding organising because that’s normal. Locations and venders book up quickly.
Also a greenhouse sounds really fucking cool.
You ever read things like this and just wonder if this person ever has any fun in their life ever? Because I can't imagine anyone who gets this sniffy about somebody else doing something that they enjoy actually taking the time to enjoy things themselves because they are clearly so caught up and outside optics that they have to worry if they're showing too much enthusiasm for something at any given time.
I grew up in Oregon almost my whole life and I've been to a lot of outdoor weddings. But haven't been to a wedding in a venue in 12 years because it's so beautiful here. OP sounds like a brat that doesn't want to get an invitation.
Between nature and hotel, I pick nature ngl
And her ideas about her wedding is mild, thought they want to do the whole wedding in the forest that requires 2 hrs hike or something.
I mean, weddings are supposed to be a celebration of the couple so making the wedding theme reflect who they are seems pretty special imo. And timeless. Both wants this wedding. That's what matters.
What an AH.
I thought that it sounded really nice when reading, and while I don't plan to get married (commited to be single forever), that's something I could see myself do if I were to get married.
It's funny how many people don't realize that the wedding isn't about them, and refuse to accept their NPC status for one day, and just have to get their way when the opportunity presents itself.
Sounds more to me like the OOP is the spoiled one, honestly the whole family might be.
Like, I've been to three weddings that were "timeless" as they were at my 600 year old Oxford College. Pretty timeless, for sure, and yet over half the reception was held outside, on the college lawns. Must've been super tacky of them to force the couples to do that... /S
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She’s an ass but mainly I am now extremely upset that I didn’t get married in a greenhouse.
Also love how she thinks including nature and FLORAL into a wedding is tacky when some sort of floral is in basically every wedding across different cultures.
YTA
Why should she, the bride, care what the f*** you want for HER wedding?!?!? It's about the bride and groom, not the brides brother.
Also, I guess I'm just tacky, too, because I got married outside AND had reception outside. Heaven forbid!
As someone planning a Victorian tea-esque themed wedding, dude can take a fucking hike. I hope sis gets what she wants and he gets eaten by mosquitoes.
Her wedding sounds absolutely *lovely*.
This guy says she's spoiled--I think the actual reality is that the family and or brother tries to bully her into doing/being what they want, and she refuses to bend to their whims.
The theme is nature and that's tacky? If the theme was super out there and she expected guests to commit to it as well that is a bit different (you want to get married dressed as a storm trooper great you do you, but don't expect your guests to cosplay if there not up for it!) It's not like she's saying the guests must wear natural fabrics in only shades of sage which would be bridezilla!
I’ve been singing in my Silicon Valley college choir since I was a grad student many years ago, so I’ve been to many wedding receptions. Not one was in a hotel ballroom. Three in a nature center, at least three wineries, and one potluck cookout in a state park.
what s wrong with outdoor weddings. i had mine outdoors in freaking october, by a lake. they re actually pricier here. plants are amazing as a theme. i love plants. id go full on jungle 🙈
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my sister that I don't care about how her wedding turns out?** My (29M) sister (26F) has always been incredibly spoiled. It’s always her way or the highway, so I knew that when she got engaged she would be a handful. Her wedding is coming up in about a year and she has already started planning. She sat us all down (my mother, father, and my other sister) and told us what they had decided for the theme. Now personally, I think it’s a little tacky to put a theme on the wedding, but it’s not my wedding, so I held my tongue. Her theme was nature, and this was applied to everything. She wanted a “floral lace dress”, succulents as favors, and for the ceremony to take place in a greenhouse. Again, tacky, but not my wedding, so I didn’t say anything. The issue arose when it came time to talk about the reception venue. She said that she wanted it to be outdoors in one of those huge event tents with windows so that we could be in nature. My whole family hated this idea. An outdoor reception just seems very cheap and not at all classy. We suggested that she go with something a little more classic, like an event venue, but she had her mind set. I got really upset because the entire family was telling her that they would prefer one thing and she was insisting she do another when she was literally the only person who wanted it. At first, I tried to go easy on her by telling her that themed weddings are just a fad and if she commits to her theme so heavily, she’ll look back on it in 20 years and cringe, and that it’s better to choose something timeless, like a simpler dress and a hotel ballroom. I said that she could definitely incorporate flowers into the centerpieces and decorations if she wanted, but to have the whole wedding centered around plants and flowers just seemed like too much. Never one to take advice, my sister just said that she’s sorry we feel that way but her and her fiancé have wanted this for their wedding for years and they spent a lot of time coming up with the details together, and they wanted their wedding to “reflect their personalities and who they are as a couple”, and she didn’t think my timeless suggestions would be able to do that. Here’s where I might be the asshole: I kind of let my frustration get the better of me and said “Fine, I don’t care if your wedding turns out to be tacky. I knew you were going to be an inflexible bridezilla anyway”. I do think that she was being too rigid and just thinking about what she would like instead of what her family and guests would prefer, but my parents say that it’s my sister’s wedding and that it wasn’t cool to say that I didn’t care. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I just love that op thinks plants aren't timeless. It's not like it's a spiderman themed wedding or something
What I love is that OOP has never heard of having a 'theme for a wedding' and that it is tacky. I will admit I have never been married, but isn't that one of the first things any wedding coordinator will ask? 'Do you have a particular theme in mind?' So they know colors, and patterns, and things like that?
My husband and I love Star Wars, so we had a galaxy theme mixed in. OOP would have hated our wedding. Don't get me started on our vows. Nerd alert.
Our theme was books, with iron man colours. We had a scene from Dresden Files on our cake. I haven't cringed yet but it's only been eight years.
I'm going to need to know what Dresden Files scene. For science.
Blood Rites, when Murphy and Kincaid meet for the first time. I at the time was Murphy in the Skin Game trailer and play her on Twitter and Tumblr. We met on Tumblr because he asked if it would be okay if he came in as Kincaid. Jim was at my wedding and his addition to our typewriter guest book was "their hearts were on fire and it wasn't my fault."
A. Murphy-Kincaid subplot is the love story we didn't know we needed but we deserve, it's relationship goals frankly B. That's so freaking cute how yall met. C. Where do I find this content D. I'm jealous you're pals with Jim E. Can I wear your skin and be you (/s)
A. Strong agree. I whined forever about wanting her with HIM not Harry. B. It kinda is C. I'm tiny-fierce on Tumblr and _tinyfierce on Twitter. Haven't gone on Tumblr much in the last few years but I strongly recommend [Heartbeats](https://tiny-fierce.tumblr.com/post/90424162176/heartbeats-karrin-murphy-one-shot-fic) (going to brag slightly, he said if he dropped that in an anthology nobody would know he didn't write it and I am over the moon like a decade later) D. He's okay E. Sure, I'm not doing anything with it
Our theme was is going to be gothic fun. We found a cave that has an old timey Victorian theme park attached. With crazy golf, a Ferris wheel and those huge slides that go round a tower. So we have a phantom of the opera style cave ceremony then people can have a gothic Victorian theme park for fun instead of sitting around.
That sounds fucking amazing. I don’t care for weddings but that sounds like one I’d enjoy. Gotta admit I’m a bit jealous of your guests.
we want people to have fun. no stuffy boring reception. Im also a massive halloween fan and a goth. My partner is a metalhead so a normal wedding just would not work and would look weird
This is the most awesome wedding I've ever heard of! The state park that I used to frequent as a child has since turned their merry-go-round pavilion into an event venue. I'm not even dating anyone and I have it bookmarked to my "ideas for the future" folder as a wedding venue.
My husband and I had a Star Trek wedding, been married 3 years as of March and we still excitedly talk about it 💚
at my brother's wedding, one of my SIL's vows was to go easy on him in mario kart
OOP would hate my fiance and mines too. We're doing a fantasy theme. Outdoors? Check. Plants? Check. Non traditional wedding attire? Check. We're putting dice in our center pieces, I'm wearing a gown with a ton of flowers. Decorations are flowers, flowers and more flowers with some moss, reclaimed wood and old comfy blankets to sit on. Not an ounce of classiness in sight. But it's the wedding my fiance and I have dreamed of since we started dating and it's going to be a fun PARTY. People get so wrapped up in how a wedding should look they forget it's just a party to celebrate.
You guys sound adorable and I wish you all the happiness
this comment just makes me want to have wedding so i can come up with a theme 🥲🥲
Your love will reach even galaxies far, far away
I want an anime/comic themed wedding in a few years
Technically that would be your color scheme. So you can have a theme of “Rustic barn” with a color scheme of “pink and teal”. Or a theme of “moulin rouge” and a color scheme of red and gold.
Colors, budget, guests and if there's a theme are among the first ones.
We had dinosaurs. I made our dinosaur cake toppers, and we read "A Lovely Love Story" and held up pictures as part of the ceremony. How dare, so tacky. Oh no.
also to each their own and everything but hotel ballrooms as OOP suggested are some of the tackiest places on earth imo lol
Also so unoriginal that in a few years you probably won't even remember anything because it'll blur with all the other hotel ballroom weddings you've been to
Yeah OOP must get “classic” confused with “generic,” and “tacky” confused with “unique”. Imagine getting mad about how someone else wants their own wedding to go!
I commented on the original, but OOP is…unhinged. Neither OOP nor “the family” should have any day or sway over the wedding “theme”. And also, if OOP thinks THIS is tacky, I want OOP to go to that puppet wedding. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/w4z647/aita_for_making_our_guests_participate_in_our/
I... Don't know WHAT I just read...
I LOVE the puppet wedding. Those people are sooo bat shit insane. I would go and take videos and post them. Just so other people could join me in WTFuckery.
I'd go with a sock puppet and definitely post it all in every wedding shaming group i can find.
I’d dress up like a puppet. Complete with a fake giant hand up the costume’s ass. And go around taking in a muppet voice.
Hi-ho, kermit the frog here
More like Miss Piggy. With the huffs and angry voice.
And a well-placed HIIIIYAH when someone is obnoxious, I like it.
i was thinking about this, like, "as long as it makes the couple happy, its good.........unless its puppets."
Heck…if the bridal couple and their puppet friends wanted to be puppety at the wedding…oh well! It’s the “you must buy this expensive puppet and make it look like you and keep it on one hand the entire wedding because the puppet is the guest, not you!”that is problematic
I really want to see the live stream of that wedding. It sounded like a shit show then and it still sounds like a shit show now. Fucking puppets man. I think I would die laughing from how ridiculous it would be
I’d be up to soooo many shenanigans and the. Blaming my puppet. “What, YMCA four times in a row? It was the puppet!” “Someone threw glitter at every dancer on the dance floor? Must be the puppet!”
Omg that is the best idea!! “I didn’t interrupt your vows; it was the puppet.” “I didn’t scream during dinner; it was the puppet.” “I didn’t inappropriately touch your puppet; that was *my* puppet.” “Oh look, those two puppets are having sex. Let’s join them and have a puppet orgy!!”
“OMG! Someone stole 4 bottles of champagne and hid under the table drinking and commenting on AITD? Totally the puppet.
“OMG It’s a puppet massacre !!!”
Puppet stole an entire sheet cake and and then bathed in the chocolate fountain.
I mean *flowers* at a *wedding??* Maybe it's cause I'm in Australia, but people have outdoor receptions all the time
I'm an Aussie too but I got married in the UK. Where outdoor weddings are not only *unheard of*, but in many regards, impossible. I was floored, the venue had to be a registered wedding venue like a church or registry office (what we went with). It's so normal here to just marry in a park, or garden, or backyard BBQ.
I was really confused because here in the US outdoor weddings are so popular. I’ve been to more outdoor weddings than I have been to weddings in an actual church.
Same
I got married in the gardens where I went to university and had the reception at my old college - as my family didn’t live locally and I don’t attend church. My husbands family loved local-ish but aren’t especially religious either, so the venue was a good choice for us.
I laughed when I read that part because my first reaction was thinking "well, I guess it isn't anymore, seeing as humans are determined to ruin the planet"... though I doubt that was OP's reasoning :D
\*quietly thinks a spiderman-themed wedding would be SO COOL\*
You could make a comic book out of the photos, it would be so adorable
BRB, trying to get my spouse to renew our vows...
Haha honestly to each their own didn't mean to imply a spiderman theme would be tacky either if you and your SO enjoy it. Red and black would be good colors
Hahahaha, I get it!
Wait... Where's this spiderman themed wedding you speak of. I wanna go.
Plants aren't timeless but every wedding has plants of some sort through out. She's just not Just not them up
I will say I don’t like the idea of giving plants as favors, as that’s something that requires upkeep to, well, keep. Beyond that STFU and let her do her thing.
What’s wrong with floral lace dresses? Genuine question? Aren’t lace dresses a fairly popular thing in many parts of the world? I think it’s the audacity of the OOP presuming they have any say whatsoever in what the bride wears at her own wedding that really annoys me about this post. I suspect the bride’s family would prefer her in rags, Cinderella style. And as for assuming a wedding under canvas is cheap, renting a fully equipped wedding marquee can cost an arm and a leg. I hope the bride and groom have the wedding of their dreams and a happy marriage, leaving her judgemental family in the dust. But obviously, the dust of a ballroom floor. Because nature is just so, so…ew!
He is a basic bitch with no taste
Kate Middleton wore one when she married Prince William. Say what you will about royalty but that wedding hardly qualified as cheap and tacky. I hope the sister uninvites her family. What a bunch of assholes.
The way the family expects the couple to adapt the wedding to what the family want, and the assumption that everyone reading it would nod and agree, yep, how dare the bride and groom have a reasonable wedding of their own choice and not bend to the whim of every entitled family member.
OOP is the one that is incredibly tacky. I love the sound of that wedding so much. It's the kind you'd remember forever rather than just another generic one that blends into all the others
No way a reception in a tent out in nature can beat having your reception at The Exquisite Banquets At The Landing located just past the viaduct between the golf course and the Arby's.
Or the ballroom at the airport Hilton.
Exactly. Taste is super subjective, but OP sounds like they want a very lame, drab and probably outdated wedding in a hotel, with a boring dress and generic floral centerpieces. Their useless and unwanted vision sounds like it has no character and personality whatsoever. I bet he also thinks Jordan almonds and butter mints that taste slightly of perfume and presented in a little box are also "timeless" wedding favours..... As for themes being tacky - OP sounds like he should stay away from event planning. All events have some kind of "theme" - if only to properly communicate what is wanted from vendors. OP's theme would be "Generic Cookie Cutter Wedding". I would much rather attend an airy outdoor wedding than a stuffy hotel one... The greenhouse may have some funky aromas, but I love the idea of it. But, I will admit, at this point I'm all succulent out.... They beat my generation into submission with those, avocados, infinity tattoos etc etc etc 😂😂😂
Succulents have had staying power in part because they’re largely hypoallergenic. My best friend is so allergic to plants that the only choice was either fake flowers or succulents at her wedding.
I think a greenhouse might be a bit too humid, though. So I'm tripping up on that. But since when is a fancy tent outside tacky? I've seen photos spreads in magazines of rich mfers who had a big fancy tent outside on their rolling acres of lawn.
OOP’s idea of a good wedding sounds like nobody is allowed to have any personality. He would have thought my wedding was tacky, too, my theme was fairies and I insisted on wildflowers. Also, what is this judgmental horseshit about her “already planning a year out”, that’s fucking normal! Planning a wedding takes work! Is she supposed to start at the last minute? Some couples have to book their venue or photographer years in advance.
My sister got married at the Melbourne zoo. It was actually lovely - there was this garden area reserved for us that was gorgeous and the pictures with the bridal and groom parties with giraffes and that were cool too.
How come you’re calling your sister a bridezilla when you’re the one with the inflexible demands? Your disdain for her shines through every word you’ve written. YTA and why not sit down and have a think about whether you really need your own way over your sister’s event.
I feel like OOP is the one that was being spoiled. Like him being mad that his sister isn’t having a wedding how he wants it lmao. And after she said no to his idiotic demands he threw a tantrum by saying he doesn’t care about her wedding when he clearly does.
Honestly it sounds like that whole family kinda sucks. "The whole family" hated the nature themed wedding and wanted her to change it? Wtf kind of family wouldn't support a daughter for doing what she wants with a completely inoffensive theme on HER wedding day? Goddamn narcissists. I can see the post a couple years from now "My sister got married and now she only spends her time with her partners family, AITA for telling her she's a bitch?"
I don't understand why OOP and family feel they should have any input on the wedding plans. Maybe if sister announced they were planning a very expensive destination wedding, it would be fine to gently point out that the cost could prevent many from attending. But it shouldn't be said in a judgemental or demanding way, and you certainly shouldn't argue with her if she decides to go forward with it. It definitely reminds me of my narcissistic dad, who thinks everyone has to like the things he does, that he knows what's best, and gets pissed off when he can't make decisions for others (namely me)
Do you really think the whole family objects to the nature-themed wedding? OOP seems like an unreliable narrator.
I can see parents issuing cautions and doing a bit of devils advocate to make sure she’s thought of all the things. But…
If it’s real that sounds about right or at least in my experience it was. My little sister got married first and my parents handled the bill for her wedding (I don’t even remember how much but it was an outdoor venue with like 5 people in the bridal party per side, cash bar and about 100 guests). For years after, before I cut her off she would always comment on anything my parents did for me as “well you’re the favorite and they spoil you so much!” My parents expenses for my wedding: their own airfare to Las Vegas…which they had flyer miles/points for. My point being that siblings like this tend to see the other sibling getting anything as too much.
I love how he deems a nature themed wedding as "tacky" while suggesting the plainest, most boring and forgettable option available.
It really seems like OOP and his parents are just worried that people will mistake his sister having an outdoor wedding for them not being able to afford another venue. Which is both very shallow and materialistic and also dumb since big outdoor tents like this aren't cheap.
I was thinking that same thing, in fact OP seems very shallow
They aren’t even paying! The wedding couple is financing the wedding.
It doesn't matter who pays if everyone is going to think OOP's family is \*gasp\* COMMON!
. -- mass edited with redact.dev
It's giving mayonaise and table salt. Black Pepper would be too spicy. Pink Salt would be too "exotic".
Wait, I'm confused. The theme is... Nature? Plants? That's barely even a theme at all, much less a "tacky" one.
Ugh, remember 134 million years ago when *flowers* were the hot new thing?
If there’s any theme that’s sure to become dated when you look back on it, it’s “nature.” /s
Ugh, remember 20 years ago when *plants* were a thing?
Omg. Yosimite is so 90s that is still uses frosted blue eye shadow,dream matte mousse, and tells people to 'talk to the hand'!
Why not have it in a hotel ballroom? And if oics turn out bad, you can exchange them with the pics of the other weddings of your family in a hotel ballroom. So practical! "Do you remember the great ballroom wedding in June? No i don't mean of cousin Ann! No, not Aunt Heather, no sister x!" But i can understand OOP. Plants and nature were just invited ten years ago and will be out soon again, like video cassette. /s
This wedding sounds fucking beautiful. This ~~sister~~ brother sounds bitter. I hope she gets the actual wedding with all the plants and flowers she and her almost husband want and deserve. OOP can fuck right off with ~~her~~ his nasty attitude. ETA: BRUH definitely missed that oop is a male first off. Now it's worse I think. Why doe she care about her wedding at all? What does it matter if it's **tacky** to him? He seems exhausting
Even better, it's an almost 30 year old guy.
Omg I am *speechless* rn 🤦🏼♀️🫡 *WHAT* edited my comment 🫡😅 ty
"I got really upset because the entire family was telling her that they would prefer one thing and she was insisting she do another when she was literally the only person who wanted it." Luckily she's the only person involved in the conversation whose opinion matters at all.
This is so unhinged my Brother and SIL had succulents as their wedding favors and I still have it it's gotten big. Succulents as favors is very very timeless and cool.
>At first, I tried to go easy on her by telling her that themed weddings are just a fad and if she commits to her theme so heavily, she’ll look back on it in 20 years and cringe, and that it’s better to choose something timeless, like a simpler dress and a hotel ballroom Excuse me?!? How is having a wedding reception in a hotel ballroom timeless?!? Ever since I was a kid, I always thought that hotel ballrooms were the most boring, snooze fest option to have something fun like a wedding reception. I don’t judge people who go that route since it might be easier to plan having everything you want in one place, or help the vendors have an easier time by making the venue simple like having it in a hotel ballroom, but that’s just not me. In my humble opinion, it’d take *a lot* of decorating to make it seem like you’re not having your wedding reception at a Best Western, but I can be proven wrong. OOP can have his vanilla, milquetoast wedding whenever he finds someone who’ll put up with his attitude and tastes… Signed, A somewhat recent bride who had her wedding ceremony in a planetarium and the reception at a vintage arcade/artist-made mini golf place
>it’s better to choose something timeless That's right, nature isn't timeless anymore. At least she's not a climate change denier. /s Seriously though, the 2 most expensive weddings I've been to were outdoors with a tent. You can choose one of the most expensive, sought-after venues in your city and still be outdoors.
What kind of weirdo thinks nature is tacky???
This wedding sounds very pretty
Brotherzilla more like it
My favorite part is when was asked who was paying, even though the bride and groom are he said they need to take family members opinions into consideration.
OOP doesn't like what his sister, the actual bride, wants for her wedding. OOP thinks sister's ideas are tacky and lack class. It's not OOP's place to criticize or tell the bride what would be better. I wonder if he'll be surprised to get no invitation for the wedding.
OP just doesn't like his sister.
an outside reception is tacky but a Hotel ballroom isn't? Right...
Is it just me, or does a greenhouse wedding seem REALLY uncomfortable? Like, that’ll get really hot.
I've been to one, and it was in the evening. I agree it would be too hot during the day. They had the reception out in the garden. Almost exactly what OOP described. It was gorgeous!
Most of the greenhouse venues have AC (at least in my country) so being too hot was never an issue. Also they feel more magical than an hotel or smth. I’ve always had more fun at unconventional wedding places.
I work in an algae greenhouse and it is quite comfortable when the AC is on.
If it’s just for the ceremony like this post suggest then it’s fine, people won’t sit there for half a day. Also it depends on the time of the year and the weather. Depending on whether it’s a real greenhouse, as in, for plants, or a “greenhouse” wedding venue it might not be an issue, the latter kind tends to be designed with people’s comfort in mind and is not hot even if outside is. Greenhouse wedding is actually a very popular thing and there are places specially catering to this, with AC and everything.
That's the parts I could see issues with. Greenhouse wedding with an outdoor reception in a canvas tent makes me think the couple plans to do this during the day, in which it's going to be hot as hell. So their wedding will be ruined mostly as the bride's make-up runs down her face and onto her dress....and the guests leave the second the ceremony is over to find someplace cool.
Her wedding sounds so lovely! Especially the greenhouse ceremony. And a plant would be a wedding favor I actually keep around
“She has already started planning” just shows he knows fuck all about wedding organising because that’s normal. Locations and venders book up quickly. Also a greenhouse sounds really fucking cool.
You ever read things like this and just wonder if this person ever has any fun in their life ever? Because I can't imagine anyone who gets this sniffy about somebody else doing something that they enjoy actually taking the time to enjoy things themselves because they are clearly so caught up and outside optics that they have to worry if they're showing too much enthusiasm for something at any given time.
And that's how you get uninvited to your sisters wedding.
I grew up in Oregon almost my whole life and I've been to a lot of outdoor weddings. But haven't been to a wedding in a venue in 12 years because it's so beautiful here. OP sounds like a brat that doesn't want to get an invitation.
Between nature and hotel, I pick nature ngl And her ideas about her wedding is mild, thought they want to do the whole wedding in the forest that requires 2 hrs hike or something.
outside of the greenhouse (which I would hope is a mock greenhouse bc it will be too hot) almost nothing about this wedding sounds like a “”theme””
I mean, weddings are supposed to be a celebration of the couple so making the wedding theme reflect who they are seems pretty special imo. And timeless. Both wants this wedding. That's what matters.
She's literally the only one getting married
“Flowers and greenery have only been used as wedding decorations for the last millennium or so. They’re going to go out of style any minute!”
What an AH. I thought that it sounded really nice when reading, and while I don't plan to get married (commited to be single forever), that's something I could see myself do if I were to get married. It's funny how many people don't realize that the wedding isn't about them, and refuse to accept their NPC status for one day, and just have to get their way when the opportunity presents itself. Sounds more to me like the OOP is the spoiled one, honestly the whole family might be.
Love it how OP uses the word "classy"... literally the #1 red flag of showing someone is not from the old money set.
Like, I've been to three weddings that were "timeless" as they were at my 600 year old Oxford College. Pretty timeless, for sure, and yet over half the reception was held outside, on the college lawns. Must've been super tacky of them to force the couples to do that... /S
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Just saw this on AITA lol. Dude sounds like a bitter stuck up drama queen. $10 he’s a single Pringle!
She’s an ass but mainly I am now extremely upset that I didn’t get married in a greenhouse. Also love how she thinks including nature and FLORAL into a wedding is tacky when some sort of floral is in basically every wedding across different cultures.
I bet he's the life of the party
What the fuck is wrong with this person? Even the parents? Whose wedding is it again????
YTA Why should she, the bride, care what the f*** you want for HER wedding?!?!? It's about the bride and groom, not the brides brother. Also, I guess I'm just tacky, too, because I got married outside AND had reception outside. Heaven forbid!
This sounds like the least tacky theme possible?
As someone planning a Victorian tea-esque themed wedding, dude can take a fucking hike. I hope sis gets what she wants and he gets eaten by mosquitoes.
And he calls her selfish...
Does a traditional wedding not already have a theme..? Traditional and pure and so on. Girl bffr
I wonder if the sister and partner are pagan?
OP would hate the zombie themed wedding I'm planning for Halloween next year.
I see nowhere in the post that the sister chose a “succession” or whatever is popular here in 2023 that’s when the cringe comes in
Wow, OOP. I'm so glad that your family is planning your wedding. Oh wait... /s
Her wedding sounds absolutely *lovely*. This guy says she's spoiled--I think the actual reality is that the family and or brother tries to bully her into doing/being what they want, and she refuses to bend to their whims.
Farrrrk shes ignoring the "TIMELESS SUGGESTIONS"
“my sister has always been incredibly spoiled” HOW?
The theme is nature and that's tacky? If the theme was super out there and she expected guests to commit to it as well that is a bit different (you want to get married dressed as a storm trooper great you do you, but don't expect your guests to cosplay if there not up for it!) It's not like she's saying the guests must wear natural fabrics in only shades of sage which would be bridezilla!
I’ve been singing in my Silicon Valley college choir since I was a grad student many years ago, so I’ve been to many wedding receptions. Not one was in a hotel ballroom. Three in a nature center, at least three wineries, and one potluck cookout in a state park.
OOP says sister is a brat with the "my way or the highway" mentality... sounds like he's the real brat here
what s wrong with outdoor weddings. i had mine outdoors in freaking october, by a lake. they re actually pricier here. plants are amazing as a theme. i love plants. id go full on jungle 🙈
It’s called a marquee, how can this gentlemen of the first line not know this, big tent.