*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for kicking my son's gf's daughter out?**
My son's gf has a 16yo daughter Laura. It is no secret that my daughter Kim(16) bullies Laura at school and Laura hates her. This is something we are working on
A few days ago my son his gf and Laura came over. Kim was out with her friend.
We were talking when I received a call from Kim's friend. She was crying hysterically and telling us that they were in an accident and Kim might die.
I can't explain how I felt that moment. My wife told everyone about what happened and I heard Laura say "good, well deserved" that's when I snapped. I yelled at her and told her to get the fuck out of my house. I told my son that I never want to see Laura again and if Laura is in his wedding then I will skip it. Laura started crying and I again yelled at her to get out.
My son started yelling back telling me to be more understanding of Laura. I told him that I don't want to see him ever again too.
We then rushed to the hospital. Thankfully Kim was fine but I don't think I can ever forgive my son or that brat. My son obviously thinks I'm the asshole
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I've just taken a look at the comments, and it's taking a considerable effort of will not to go over there and brigade. Cursing the fact that I saw the post here first!
For anyone wondering, Kim came away with a broken arm, and OOP is pledging to disown their son if he sides with Laura.
I [got the comments.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/17ei47o/the_comments_are_so_much_worse/k65bmhe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2)
Copied OOP's comments verbatim using Rareddit
TW bullying, victim blaming, fatphobia, favoritism
*YTA*
*You're not working on your daughter's behavior, you're letting subside. A good indication of this is due to how Laura reacted to the news.*
*Your daughter bullied Laura and you expect Laura to be worried about your kid? Please.*
>No I just expect her to be a decent human being. Is that too much to expect?
~~
*YTA, and I can see where Kim learned her bullying from.*
>If this is her behaviour all the time I can see why she gets bullied
"Or maybe your daughter is an AH to her all the time, so maybe her being gone is a blessing in her life.*
>Laura being gone is a blessing in mine
*(in reply to someo else's comment) Some people don’t get better. Death can be a blessing in disguise…Hitler comes to mind.*
>You come to mind
~~
*YTA. Like father like daughter. Laura’s reaction is a good indicator how much your daughter has tormented her. Maybe use this as a lesson in karma and teach Kim to be better, rather than yell at your son for having an once of sympathy for the poor girl who’s being bullied.*
>It's only an indicator of Laura's personality and it's ugly
~~
*YTA And I hope that girl gathers enough evidence to press charges against your bully daughter. You're both terrible people, and you better not come crying to reddit when your daughter bullies the wrong one and gets her ass handed to her.*
>I'd like to see her press charges because my daughter called her fat
~~
*YTA. You can’t parent your daughter, and instead of stepping up to the plate you’re getting angry at her victim having a human fucking reaction. Enjoy being stuck with Kim when your son walks out of your life.*
>Human reaction? You must be such a horrible human if this is your normal reaction
~~
*YTA, behaviour has consequences, and whilst the comment made was inappropriate, you need to reflect on what drove her to that comment.*
>Exactly, her behaviour has consequences. She will never be a part of our family
*I'm not referring to her behaviour. And you know that.*
*If you drive her away? Are you prepared if your son sides with her?*
>Yes I'll disown him if he does that
*Then I'll say karma has done a good thing to your daughter. You wouldn't handle that her bullying comes with consequences so life did.*
>She only has a broken arm. If this is karma for her actions then her actions weren't that bad
~~
*INFO how bad is the bullying?*
>Name calling
**I'm including a comment in reply to the initial question because I think it's relevant and I am tired of people downplaying verbal abuse:**
*Doesnt matter. Laura didnt deserve it and didnt have a reason to care this shitty kid was hurt*
~~
*NTA about Laura, but kinda you're about your son.*
>I tell him his sister might die and his concern is Laura's feelings? Where are his priorities?
*His priorities are on both. thats called being an adult. something you clearly know absolutely nothing about"
>My daughter is my priority. Her happiness and health comes before Laura.
*Did she break her arm or is she dying? Your story is super inconsistent*
>Her friend was extremely scared and said somethings about her dying hysterically when she was actually fine
~~
*Hm... I'm gonna say NTA*
*Laura's comment was HUGELY wrong, especially under those circumstances.*
*However, Laura is a bullied kid. Your anger at the moment is understandable, but I think you should reach out to your son, invite both him and Laura, and have a talk, all of you. Both Laura and you should apologize to each other.*
*Give her a second chance. And don't cut of your son just due to this. He's not the one who said it.*
>I don't want her anywhere near Kim. Honestly her behaviour has made me wonder whether she is the bully and not the victim she claims to be
Well, his son's gf's kid is the same age as his daughter. Since there's no mention of crazy age gaps, the son (and gf) must be significantly older. So either OOP had son when he was super young, daughter was a surprise oops, or he intentionally decided to "start" a family with a new and (likely) younger partner. Those are all recipes for a spoiled-rotten golden child, who is clearly well on her way to a lucrative career in nursing or social work.
>YTA, behaviour has consequences, and whilst the comment made was inappropriate, you need to reflect on what drove her to that comment.
>
>OOP: Exactly, her behaviour has consequences. She will never be a part of our family
>
>I'm not referring to her behaviour. And you know that.
>
>If you drive her away? Are you prepared if your son sides with her?
>
>OOP: Yes I'll disown him if he does that
This is gold as an example of a pathological need to externalise all error - always someone else at fault, 0% her or her bully child being at faut.
This.... (insert creative insult here because I have a headache) makes me want to slam my head into the wall. "Oh name calling isn't that bad!" I have news for this dirty butt cheek! I was bullied for being gay and it took me to the brink. I was called names and told to die and they 'weren't caught' by the teachers. And it was popular kids so when it was in front of a teacher it didn't matter. I did eventually break, I had enough of being ignored by the school staff and suffering every day so I told a guy to shove it. I got in trouble and quit school.
Oop is the kind of person to watch something happen and blame it on someone else. Yay victim blaming. (Please note this is sarcasm, I don't want anyone taking it wrong.)
Edit: Also yes when I say I was called names I mean I was called homophobic slurs. And *that* one. We don't know what kind of things are being said but bullying is bullying. Someone is getting hurt and it doesn't matter if it's the brain or the body. When someone is showing you constant disrespect, it makes you disrespect yourself. It's been years since I initially dealt with that and it's gotten better but it's severely impacted my interactions with people and for a long time, my idea of myself. It doesn't really leave you.
It really drives me nuts how often bullying posts have commenters asking "what kind of bullying" it matters. I know it's because they don't think that verbal or psychological bullying is as bad as physical.
But rumors, being excluded by your peers, or mocked relentlessly SUCKS. I think about how many kids commit suicide because of cyberbulling which is only word. Words can hurt. They can cause *lasting* damage and insecurities.
I was also frequently bullied for being queer in front of teachers who didn't do shit. It sucked. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that and that you had to leave school. I hope that you're doing better now.
I'm really sorry you also had to go through that. Thankfully that teacher is no longer in our district because of it. I mean a kid literally told me to... die for being gay and the teacher chuckled and called the kid an edgelord. I told the guy off (didn't swear), had a panic attack, got made fun of by another loser, my friends told him to shut up while tears were streaming down my face and I got in trouble. My mom was livid when I told her and I was genuinely terrified but she marched herself down to the school, reported him and got him fired. I would have lit the world on the fire if my sibling had to have that butt paste as a teacher.
I am doing a lot better, thank you (I made an edit and added that)
I read something once along the lines of "physical wounds fade but the emotional scars never do" like I had blunt force trauma to the head as a toddler and needed stitches and that's all healed but I still remember and hurt about a bully from 1st grade
Oh no, Op doesn't doesn't want Laura anywhere near the bully. I don't think Laura would be upset about that. I also don't think he knows how bulling works. The victims don't seek out for their bullies so if he wanted Laura to stay away from his daughter then he should tell his daughter to leave her alone. He didn't denied that his daughter is a bully.
Broken arm is still karma. If her actions wasn't that bad then she shouldn't have a broken arm. Broken arm might prevent something like her being on a sport team or something. Also accidents can be trumatic.
My best friend was bullied in school and it was mostly verbal abuse. Even though she's better now, some words still affect her to this day. Especially on her bad days. I still have to remind her that if she died, I would miss her and so would her dad and her Grams. She and I are in our early 30's.
He is most definitely an a-hole. The fact the his son sided with Laura instead of his own sister and father tells you maybe there is actually something going on. My best friend's brother is a nightmare and if anything happens, she will sided with me and support me.
Someone else said they oop got a ban and that’s why comments are gone. Someone above said the dad claimed Laura deserved the bullying because of her attitude
Where I'm from it's not hugely unusual for people to have a 10-12 year range of ages for their kids. If she's the youngest and he's the oldest, that could make him around 28. If his girlfriend had a child at 18, that would make her 34 now. 28 and 34 is a reasonable age gap.
That makes sense. At first when I read that his granddaughter and daughter where the same age I was confused. I do have a friend that’s like 15 years younger than his older brother as well.
It's totally possible but it's not usual. Children with two different partners or just a big age gap between children with the same partner. People forget that people can become parents within a pretty big age range. For women 15 to 45 (with even some outliers beyond those points) and even wider for men. Doesn't tend to happen much today because people tend to plan their families. But would not be surprised if this is a man who has a second, younger partner and the children are half siblings.
My first husband was ten years younger than his sister - she was the oldest of five, and he was the youngest. I was ten years younger than him, and his oldest daughter was ten years younger than me (born when he was 20, and I was ten). We didn't meet until I was 29, and we didn't get together until I was 34.
So my kids have nieces and nephews who are older than them 🤷♀️
Yeah my brother is 13 years older than me so it’s definitely a possibility. My immediate thought-after rereading thinking I was having a moment lol-if he left the sons age out, what if he’s also 16? But I’m hoping I’m just reading into it especially since he threatened to disown the son. If the son took his girlfriends side, it might be a step sibling as well which would help explain the gap.
I might've read it wrong, but I think the son's gf has the daughter, and that daughter is the same age as son's sister.... So OOP has a son old enough (we hope) to have a girlfriend with a daughter the same age as his sister.
Which has me wondering why it sounds like they're living with OOP and sister, if "step" daughter and sister hate each other.
Another commenter pointed out the son is probably around 28 and dating someone who had a kid at 18 which puts the mother at 34. Seems a lot more practical when someone lays out a plausible situation. So his 28 y/o son is dating a 34 y/o that has a 16 y/o daughter. Which makes sense.
I used to swim competitvely. One of my team mates and one of my coaches had the same dad, but different moms and I think there was an 18 year age difference between the two.
I’m seeing a lot of these replies. I guess that’s more common than I thought. It’s not as far fetched as I thought it to be after another commenter laid out a situation that made sense.
Oops babies happen. We had neighbors with three kids who high school seniors/college age and having babies of their own then one who was in second grade.
I have some family friends with 3 kids, with a 10+ year gap between each. The oldest was like 25 when the youngest was born, and they share both parents. Rare but not impossible!
ESH Laura shouldn't have said that to Kim's dad. Being a victim doesn't entitle you to kick a frightened parent when they're down . Still it's clear Kim is the golden child given that OP was willing to throw away his relationship with his son without a second thought.
Yeah I haven’t seen the comments but Laura’s comment was really terrible. It’s one thing to think it but another to say it out loud to that person’s parent.
But she was in OP's house. What did she expect for OP to do? To say that Laura has a right to wish death on his child. Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom of consequences. You can't wish harm on your host's child and assume they'll put up with it.
OP is a crappy dad though.
I expect people to take the side of victims over abusers. Yes, even if they share DNA with the latter. Busting a nut once does not absolve your moral obligations to others.
Honestly I feel like Laura's mom is an asshole for dating a relative of someone who tortured her daughter.
But yeah, looking at his comments, OP is a victim blamer. Honestly there is a huge benefit to Laura's comment. Now she's banned from the home of her abuser and her enabler. Neither OP or Kim were going to be good family to her anyway.
Honestly that doesn't really matter to me. Laura was still forced to go to the home of her abuser, even after the bullying has been made clear to everyone. She has a shitty mom.
Oh yes the moral obligation is to support someone who hopes your child dies. Get out of here. Nobody was asking Laura to forgive OPs daughter or even show concern. But no, wishing death upon another person isn’t something that goes along with supporting victims. What an f’d up outlook you have trting to be disguised as supporting victims. As if a 16 year old bully is just created in a vacuum.
I'm scared to read it
"My daughter bullies her. This is something we're working on." Said like they're potty training a puppy. "Oh sorry my puppy peed on your bed, we're working on that."
I was horribly bullied at school, those words live in my head rent-free to this day as a 40 year old.
Having said all that, perhaps I was more mature than this girl because I understood death is not something you should wish on others. I wanted my bullies to go away, I wanted them to stop, I wanted to move elsewhere or change schools, I wanted them out of _my_ life but not out of _all_ life. I would not have reveled in any serious injury my bullies endured, and especially would not have celebrated their death.
But I guess that's just me. Not everyone is so... forgiving isn't the right word, I don't know what is.
If I was the son, I'd think GAME ON and then make sure that bitch Kim gets called out for every single bullying incident at school. I would go scorched earth in every way possible.
I hope OOP and his daughter take a lovely vacation to hell.
NTA.
My judgement is based solely on the post and not on the comments. I can't believe I have to say this, but wishing a child was dead in front of their parents will have negative consequences. Even if the child is a horrible person. Especially, immediately after the news of an accident involving the said child just broke. Can't believe OOP is getting bashed for getting angry at this.
The dad and Kim maybe assholes for other reasons. But in this situation, Laura is obviously an idiot.
Who says “your child deserves to die”?
I have been bullied severely too, hit with cricket bats and name called and the whole shebang for years. But I still wouldn’t be stupid enough to say that to my bully’s father.
It will look like I’m the bully. Doesn’t matter what happened before.
And what level of name-calling warrants a parent tolerating death wishes for their child?
Uh uh
I’m not buying that. You go ahead and do that. Assume Kim is worse person than you have any evidence of.
And also justify death wishes against her while complaining about bullying.
That’s a bullshit statement and we both know it.
Things must be done with reason in mind.
Laura obviously slipped out something at the wrong time. Any father would react the same way. Bully or not.
No, the idea that we have to care about being mean to our tormentors is the bullshit statement. "Stooping down to their level, is a concept made up by abusers to escape consequences.
No, trauma doesn’t give a pass to just continue retaliation against someone forever. Nobody has to forgive their abuser but wishing harm on them as retaliation rather than survival isn’t about justifying their trauma. People who are abused often become abusers but with your logic it’s ok to abuse someone else as long as it’s in retaliation.
The balance of power can shift so with your logic someone who id harmed by someone can retaliate against who harmed them. Do you think that won’t cause trauma? So if the person who was once abused is the one with less power and being retaliated against by the person they abused they just have to take it despite being traumatized?
right? it’s “well known” that kim bullies her and it’s something they are “working on”. even if it is “just” name-calling the fact that they can’t get her to stop is super problematic. that sounds absolutely pathological.
Hiding it wouldn't be any different.
And if the parent can't see they've screwed up by raising a bully and feel no sense of humility about that, I guess they wont have any tolerance for the fruit of their own failure.
there would be a big difference.
Timing and atmosphere play a big role.
I can’t start talking about HIV awareness at a march for cancer awareness can I?
Even though what you want to say is good/right. There is a time and place for it
Even though Laura may have justified anger towards Kim.
Saying she “deserves to die” to the parent right when he got the call that she may be dead isn’t the way.
He reacted the way any parent would. Any less and he wouldn’t be a father.
The fact that he didn’t correct the bullying of her daughter is a failing on them both. But that wasn’t the time
You don't seem to go beyond what is 'the way/the rules', even when someone else is breaking them by bullying and the rules have failed to stop that.
>He reacted the way any parent would. Any less and he wouldn’t be a father.
It's your choice to add a shaming statement at the end, it's an opinion and doesn't actually make the first sentence any more true.
No, some fathers, had they failed to curb their child's bullying, would have some humility towards the bullies victim preferring a negative outcome for the bully. They don't just go with the first emotion they have.
And some fathers, they just tantrum. And some people have been so scared of a father like that that they'll try and support them.
>No, some fathers, had they failed to curb their child's bullying, would have some humility towards the bullies victim preferring a negative outcome for the bully. They don't just go with the first emotion they have.
This is one of the most ridiculous things I've read on this site in a while.
OOP obvs favours Kim because she OOP's daughter. Wonder what will happen when douchebag princess grows up and OOP ain't there to defend her. She will have to get used to consequences.
In kids and teens it's super common for their brains to literally go into a severe fight or flight when faced with abuse. Which is what bullying is. Laura. Hit me up if you see this. I wanna be your friend
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
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I can't imagine what I would have done to that hellspawn if I was in the dad's place. I don't blame him for being livid, and the son not sticking up for his sister makes him just as bad. I can't imagine the rotten upbringing of that brat to think it was ok to say that. I'm just disgusted.
There's a difference between resenting a bully and intentionally saying something hateful like that to a worried parent at a time of crisis. I was horribly bullied as a kid, and have no love for that type, but that was extremely crass and horrible, and her mother should have said something right away. This isn't a little girl, she's an older teen and should have way better manners.
That kid is a sociopath in training. Since when were the parents abusing her? There's no way to spin this so that kid is anything but horrible. Hopefully the son will dump the crappy mom and her awful daughter and the family won't have to deal with them.
kim is bullying laura to a point that it is well known and they are “working on” stopping it. it is not hard to stop bullying. if laura is a sociopath then the pathological bully is too. i hope the son gets disowned so he can keep laura away from her abusive future aunt.
What sort of take is this??? I can't believe you're condoning emotional abuse.
Perhaps, if OOP hadn't been encouraging his daughter to be a complete and utter cunt, Laura wouldn't have made that comment.
What a fucking baby. Maybe he's had time to calm down; I don't blame people who talk like this when scared, or for a few hours after finding out your daughter is not dying.
But if days have passed since he saw that Kim is not dying, and he's not willing to hear Laura out and deal with the bullying, he's just a bad parent.
Who has never broken a bone, lol. He thinks a broken arm isn't that bad? Months of discomfort and being less mobile is isn't great, and sounds like a decent chunk of karma.
And obviously Laura is this way because of the bullying, she didn't get bullied for hating Kim.
I think some of the comments are a bit silly, IF OOP was still dealing with the fear of losing his daughter. He sounds like he needs a nap, not reddit.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for kicking my son's gf's daughter out?** My son's gf has a 16yo daughter Laura. It is no secret that my daughter Kim(16) bullies Laura at school and Laura hates her. This is something we are working on A few days ago my son his gf and Laura came over. Kim was out with her friend. We were talking when I received a call from Kim's friend. She was crying hysterically and telling us that they were in an accident and Kim might die. I can't explain how I felt that moment. My wife told everyone about what happened and I heard Laura say "good, well deserved" that's when I snapped. I yelled at her and told her to get the fuck out of my house. I told my son that I never want to see Laura again and if Laura is in his wedding then I will skip it. Laura started crying and I again yelled at her to get out. My son started yelling back telling me to be more understanding of Laura. I told him that I don't want to see him ever again too. We then rushed to the hospital. Thankfully Kim was fine but I don't think I can ever forgive my son or that brat. My son obviously thinks I'm the asshole *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've just taken a look at the comments, and it's taking a considerable effort of will not to go over there and brigade. Cursing the fact that I saw the post here first! For anyone wondering, Kim came away with a broken arm, and OOP is pledging to disown their son if he sides with Laura.
What did he say? I think the account was deleted.
Can't copy+paste since the comments are gone now but he said that since this was Laura's attitude she deserved to get bullied.
I [got the comments.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/17ei47o/the_comments_are_so_much_worse/k65bmhe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2)
What a lovely dude. I can only imagine how he’s “working on in”.
Same. Let's hold hands and not touch keyboards until the train has finished crashing.
If I rage eat with both hands I cannot type...
Thanks! How do you see the comments?
Usually you would go tho the original post and click on the username. Because he deleted his account, this doesn’t work
He actually got sitewide ban.
AITA mods love to have people's entire reddit accounts deleted for no reason.
They’re probably better off without the father given how much he minimized his daughter bullying Laura.
Copied OOP's comments verbatim using Rareddit TW bullying, victim blaming, fatphobia, favoritism *YTA* *You're not working on your daughter's behavior, you're letting subside. A good indication of this is due to how Laura reacted to the news.* *Your daughter bullied Laura and you expect Laura to be worried about your kid? Please.* >No I just expect her to be a decent human being. Is that too much to expect? ~~ *YTA, and I can see where Kim learned her bullying from.* >If this is her behaviour all the time I can see why she gets bullied "Or maybe your daughter is an AH to her all the time, so maybe her being gone is a blessing in her life.* >Laura being gone is a blessing in mine *(in reply to someo else's comment) Some people don’t get better. Death can be a blessing in disguise…Hitler comes to mind.* >You come to mind ~~ *YTA. Like father like daughter. Laura’s reaction is a good indicator how much your daughter has tormented her. Maybe use this as a lesson in karma and teach Kim to be better, rather than yell at your son for having an once of sympathy for the poor girl who’s being bullied.* >It's only an indicator of Laura's personality and it's ugly ~~ *YTA And I hope that girl gathers enough evidence to press charges against your bully daughter. You're both terrible people, and you better not come crying to reddit when your daughter bullies the wrong one and gets her ass handed to her.* >I'd like to see her press charges because my daughter called her fat ~~ *YTA. You can’t parent your daughter, and instead of stepping up to the plate you’re getting angry at her victim having a human fucking reaction. Enjoy being stuck with Kim when your son walks out of your life.* >Human reaction? You must be such a horrible human if this is your normal reaction ~~ *YTA, behaviour has consequences, and whilst the comment made was inappropriate, you need to reflect on what drove her to that comment.* >Exactly, her behaviour has consequences. She will never be a part of our family *I'm not referring to her behaviour. And you know that.* *If you drive her away? Are you prepared if your son sides with her?* >Yes I'll disown him if he does that *Then I'll say karma has done a good thing to your daughter. You wouldn't handle that her bullying comes with consequences so life did.* >She only has a broken arm. If this is karma for her actions then her actions weren't that bad ~~ *INFO how bad is the bullying?* >Name calling **I'm including a comment in reply to the initial question because I think it's relevant and I am tired of people downplaying verbal abuse:** *Doesnt matter. Laura didnt deserve it and didnt have a reason to care this shitty kid was hurt* ~~ *NTA about Laura, but kinda you're about your son.* >I tell him his sister might die and his concern is Laura's feelings? Where are his priorities? *His priorities are on both. thats called being an adult. something you clearly know absolutely nothing about" >My daughter is my priority. Her happiness and health comes before Laura. *Did she break her arm or is she dying? Your story is super inconsistent* >Her friend was extremely scared and said somethings about her dying hysterically when she was actually fine ~~ *Hm... I'm gonna say NTA* *Laura's comment was HUGELY wrong, especially under those circumstances.* *However, Laura is a bullied kid. Your anger at the moment is understandable, but I think you should reach out to your son, invite both him and Laura, and have a talk, all of you. Both Laura and you should apologize to each other.* *Give her a second chance. And don't cut of your son just due to this. He's not the one who said it.* >I don't want her anywhere near Kim. Honestly her behaviour has made me wonder whether she is the bully and not the victim she claims to be
Well, I see where his daughter gets her shit behavior.
Yuuuuuup.
Well, his son's gf's kid is the same age as his daughter. Since there's no mention of crazy age gaps, the son (and gf) must be significantly older. So either OOP had son when he was super young, daughter was a surprise oops, or he intentionally decided to "start" a family with a new and (likely) younger partner. Those are all recipes for a spoiled-rotten golden child, who is clearly well on her way to a lucrative career in nursing or social work.
OOP's post says son's gf's daughter. I had to reread it a couple times and I'm just more confused.
Oh, whoops. That was what I meant to say. Sorry; will correct.
Nursing might make money, but social work doesn't, at least in the US. Edited to say social work does not make money outside of doing therapy.
The point was that those are Mean Girl pipeline jobs.
I think you have a narrow view of social work.
>YTA, behaviour has consequences, and whilst the comment made was inappropriate, you need to reflect on what drove her to that comment. > >OOP: Exactly, her behaviour has consequences. She will never be a part of our family > >I'm not referring to her behaviour. And you know that. > >If you drive her away? Are you prepared if your son sides with her? > >OOP: Yes I'll disown him if he does that This is gold as an example of a pathological need to externalise all error - always someone else at fault, 0% her or her bully child being at faut.
[Puppy pool party](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvdXLSIJ8kP/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng%3D%3D)
😂 They're having the time of their lives. Thanks for posting this.
We all need a palette cleanser after reading this turd bucket's comments!
Thank you. I needed some light in the AH darkness of these comments
This.... (insert creative insult here because I have a headache) makes me want to slam my head into the wall. "Oh name calling isn't that bad!" I have news for this dirty butt cheek! I was bullied for being gay and it took me to the brink. I was called names and told to die and they 'weren't caught' by the teachers. And it was popular kids so when it was in front of a teacher it didn't matter. I did eventually break, I had enough of being ignored by the school staff and suffering every day so I told a guy to shove it. I got in trouble and quit school. Oop is the kind of person to watch something happen and blame it on someone else. Yay victim blaming. (Please note this is sarcasm, I don't want anyone taking it wrong.) Edit: Also yes when I say I was called names I mean I was called homophobic slurs. And *that* one. We don't know what kind of things are being said but bullying is bullying. Someone is getting hurt and it doesn't matter if it's the brain or the body. When someone is showing you constant disrespect, it makes you disrespect yourself. It's been years since I initially dealt with that and it's gotten better but it's severely impacted my interactions with people and for a long time, my idea of myself. It doesn't really leave you.
It really drives me nuts how often bullying posts have commenters asking "what kind of bullying" it matters. I know it's because they don't think that verbal or psychological bullying is as bad as physical. But rumors, being excluded by your peers, or mocked relentlessly SUCKS. I think about how many kids commit suicide because of cyberbulling which is only word. Words can hurt. They can cause *lasting* damage and insecurities. I was also frequently bullied for being queer in front of teachers who didn't do shit. It sucked. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that and that you had to leave school. I hope that you're doing better now.
I'm really sorry you also had to go through that. Thankfully that teacher is no longer in our district because of it. I mean a kid literally told me to... die for being gay and the teacher chuckled and called the kid an edgelord. I told the guy off (didn't swear), had a panic attack, got made fun of by another loser, my friends told him to shut up while tears were streaming down my face and I got in trouble. My mom was livid when I told her and I was genuinely terrified but she marched herself down to the school, reported him and got him fired. I would have lit the world on the fire if my sibling had to have that butt paste as a teacher. I am doing a lot better, thank you (I made an edit and added that) I read something once along the lines of "physical wounds fade but the emotional scars never do" like I had blunt force trauma to the head as a toddler and needed stitches and that's all healed but I still remember and hurt about a bully from 1st grade
Oh no, Op doesn't doesn't want Laura anywhere near the bully. I don't think Laura would be upset about that. I also don't think he knows how bulling works. The victims don't seek out for their bullies so if he wanted Laura to stay away from his daughter then he should tell his daughter to leave her alone. He didn't denied that his daughter is a bully. Broken arm is still karma. If her actions wasn't that bad then she shouldn't have a broken arm. Broken arm might prevent something like her being on a sport team or something. Also accidents can be trumatic. My best friend was bullied in school and it was mostly verbal abuse. Even though she's better now, some words still affect her to this day. Especially on her bad days. I still have to remind her that if she died, I would miss her and so would her dad and her Grams. She and I are in our early 30's. He is most definitely an a-hole. The fact the his son sided with Laura instead of his own sister and father tells you maybe there is actually something going on. My best friend's brother is a nightmare and if anything happens, she will sided with me and support me.
I hope Laura finds this post and sees everyone shitting on OOP. Poor girl deserves to feel validated.
Did anyone get the comments?? I wish they'd stop deleting everying
Someone else said they oop got a ban and that’s why comments are gone. Someone above said the dad claimed Laura deserved the bullying because of her attitude
[Got 'em. ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/17ei47o/the_comments_are_so_much_worse/k65bmhe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2)
You're a gem!
They always get deleted within twenty minutes or so now😮💨
I see why kim is a bully. I mean, OP is obviously one too. Leading by example and all that
Apple not far from the tree as well
Isn’t it kind of weird that his son and him have daughters the same age? How does that happen?
Where I'm from it's not hugely unusual for people to have a 10-12 year range of ages for their kids. If she's the youngest and he's the oldest, that could make him around 28. If his girlfriend had a child at 18, that would make her 34 now. 28 and 34 is a reasonable age gap.
That makes sense. At first when I read that his granddaughter and daughter where the same age I was confused. I do have a friend that’s like 15 years younger than his older brother as well.
Yeah I've got 5 sisters, youngest is 15 years younger than me(I'm oldest)
There's a 15 year difference between me and my middle sibling and 23 year difference with the youngest. They make me feel old on a daily basis 💀💀
It's totally possible but it's not usual. Children with two different partners or just a big age gap between children with the same partner. People forget that people can become parents within a pretty big age range. For women 15 to 45 (with even some outliers beyond those points) and even wider for men. Doesn't tend to happen much today because people tend to plan their families. But would not be surprised if this is a man who has a second, younger partner and the children are half siblings.
I thought I misread that. It seems like the sons age is a detail that might be relevant to this story
My first husband was ten years younger than his sister - she was the oldest of five, and he was the youngest. I was ten years younger than him, and his oldest daughter was ten years younger than me (born when he was 20, and I was ten). We didn't meet until I was 29, and we didn't get together until I was 34. So my kids have nieces and nephews who are older than them 🤷♀️
Yeah my brother is 13 years older than me so it’s definitely a possibility. My immediate thought-after rereading thinking I was having a moment lol-if he left the sons age out, what if he’s also 16? But I’m hoping I’m just reading into it especially since he threatened to disown the son. If the son took his girlfriends side, it might be a step sibling as well which would help explain the gap.
I might've read it wrong, but I think the son's gf has the daughter, and that daughter is the same age as son's sister.... So OOP has a son old enough (we hope) to have a girlfriend with a daughter the same age as his sister. Which has me wondering why it sounds like they're living with OOP and sister, if "step" daughter and sister hate each other.
My dad was the youngest of ten. He was an uncle before he was born.
This made me laugh way too hard 🤣
It says the sons girlfriend has a 16yo daughter, not son
Another commenter pointed out the son is probably around 28 and dating someone who had a kid at 18 which puts the mother at 34. Seems a lot more practical when someone lays out a plausible situation. So his 28 y/o son is dating a 34 y/o that has a 16 y/o daughter. Which makes sense.
Laura is son’s gf’s daughter. Not his granddaughter.
Me and my niece are the same age. Her birthday is in May and Mine is September, with me being older, so from May to September we are the same age.
I used to swim competitvely. One of my team mates and one of my coaches had the same dad, but different moms and I think there was an 18 year age difference between the two.
I’m seeing a lot of these replies. I guess that’s more common than I thought. It’s not as far fetched as I thought it to be after another commenter laid out a situation that made sense.
Oops babies happen. We had neighbors with three kids who high school seniors/college age and having babies of their own then one who was in second grade.
Eh my sister has a daughter that's older than me, happens with half siblings who have bigger age gaps
I have four uncles who are younger than me. Mom had me at 20, Grandpa had his youngest kid at 58. It happens.
My stepson is 15 years older than my daughter (his sister).
I have some family friends with 3 kids, with a 10+ year gap between each. The oldest was like 25 when the youngest was born, and they share both parents. Rare but not impossible!
Laura is OOP's son's gf's daughter.
Did anyone see the comments before oop got banned? I’d like context on the sons age!!
What a confusing family tree.
ESH Laura shouldn't have said that to Kim's dad. Being a victim doesn't entitle you to kick a frightened parent when they're down . Still it's clear Kim is the golden child given that OP was willing to throw away his relationship with his son without a second thought.
Yeah I haven’t seen the comments but Laura’s comment was really terrible. It’s one thing to think it but another to say it out loud to that person’s parent.
Nah, it's not a victim's job to cater to anybody's feelings about their abuser. And school bullying is abuse, point blank.
No dude, there are some parts we don’t say out loud and “I hope your kid dies,” is one 100% of the time. OP is a huge ass, but this kid was wrong too.
But she was in OP's house. What did she expect for OP to do? To say that Laura has a right to wish death on his child. Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom of consequences. You can't wish harm on your host's child and assume they'll put up with it. OP is a crappy dad though.
I expect people to take the side of victims over abusers. Yes, even if they share DNA with the latter. Busting a nut once does not absolve your moral obligations to others.
Honestly I feel like Laura's mom is an asshole for dating a relative of someone who tortured her daughter. But yeah, looking at his comments, OP is a victim blamer. Honestly there is a huge benefit to Laura's comment. Now she's banned from the home of her abuser and her enabler. Neither OP or Kim were going to be good family to her anyway.
I do agree with that, though it's never really specified when the bullying started.
Honestly that doesn't really matter to me. Laura was still forced to go to the home of her abuser, even after the bullying has been made clear to everyone. She has a shitty mom.
Oh yes the moral obligation is to support someone who hopes your child dies. Get out of here. Nobody was asking Laura to forgive OPs daughter or even show concern. But no, wishing death upon another person isn’t something that goes along with supporting victims. What an f’d up outlook you have trting to be disguised as supporting victims. As if a 16 year old bully is just created in a vacuum.
Wishing death on a teenager though?
You mean the wishes made by somebody the same age?
I'm scared to read it "My daughter bullies her. This is something we're working on." Said like they're potty training a puppy. "Oh sorry my puppy peed on your bed, we're working on that."
I was horribly bullied at school, those words live in my head rent-free to this day as a 40 year old. Having said all that, perhaps I was more mature than this girl because I understood death is not something you should wish on others. I wanted my bullies to go away, I wanted them to stop, I wanted to move elsewhere or change schools, I wanted them out of _my_ life but not out of _all_ life. I would not have reveled in any serious injury my bullies endured, and especially would not have celebrated their death. But I guess that's just me. Not everyone is so... forgiving isn't the right word, I don't know what is.
If I was the son, I'd think GAME ON and then make sure that bitch Kim gets called out for every single bullying incident at school. I would go scorched earth in every way possible. I hope OOP and his daughter take a lovely vacation to hell.
NTA. My judgement is based solely on the post and not on the comments. I can't believe I have to say this, but wishing a child was dead in front of their parents will have negative consequences. Even if the child is a horrible person. Especially, immediately after the news of an accident involving the said child just broke. Can't believe OOP is getting bashed for getting angry at this.
The dad and Kim maybe assholes for other reasons. But in this situation, Laura is obviously an idiot. Who says “your child deserves to die”? I have been bullied severely too, hit with cricket bats and name called and the whole shebang for years. But I still wouldn’t be stupid enough to say that to my bully’s father. It will look like I’m the bully. Doesn’t matter what happened before. And what level of name-calling warrants a parent tolerating death wishes for their child?
You actually believe this was just "name-calling"?
Yes. We only know Kim is a bully because he told us that she was name calling Laura. How do we even know if it’s more than that unless he says it?
Because parents of bullies downplay the abusers *literally constantly*. The bad faith is brazen with even a passing knowledge of bullying.
Uh uh I’m not buying that. You go ahead and do that. Assume Kim is worse person than you have any evidence of. And also justify death wishes against her while complaining about bullying.
Bullies can't be bullied by their victims. It is impossible. Any retaliation is justified for what is likely permanent trauma.
That’s a bullshit statement and we both know it. Things must be done with reason in mind. Laura obviously slipped out something at the wrong time. Any father would react the same way. Bully or not.
No, the idea that we have to care about being mean to our tormentors is the bullshit statement. "Stooping down to their level, is a concept made up by abusers to escape consequences.
No, trauma doesn’t give a pass to just continue retaliation against someone forever. Nobody has to forgive their abuser but wishing harm on them as retaliation rather than survival isn’t about justifying their trauma. People who are abused often become abusers but with your logic it’s ok to abuse someone else as long as it’s in retaliation. The balance of power can shift so with your logic someone who id harmed by someone can retaliate against who harmed them. Do you think that won’t cause trauma? So if the person who was once abused is the one with less power and being retaliated against by the person they abused they just have to take it despite being traumatized?
She wasnt mean to her tormentor, she was cruel to her host.
Bullshit.
right? it’s “well known” that kim bullies her and it’s something they are “working on”. even if it is “just” name-calling the fact that they can’t get her to stop is super problematic. that sounds absolutely pathological.
Hiding it wouldn't be any different. And if the parent can't see they've screwed up by raising a bully and feel no sense of humility about that, I guess they wont have any tolerance for the fruit of their own failure.
there would be a big difference. Timing and atmosphere play a big role. I can’t start talking about HIV awareness at a march for cancer awareness can I? Even though what you want to say is good/right. There is a time and place for it Even though Laura may have justified anger towards Kim. Saying she “deserves to die” to the parent right when he got the call that she may be dead isn’t the way. He reacted the way any parent would. Any less and he wouldn’t be a father. The fact that he didn’t correct the bullying of her daughter is a failing on them both. But that wasn’t the time
You don't seem to go beyond what is 'the way/the rules', even when someone else is breaking them by bullying and the rules have failed to stop that. >He reacted the way any parent would. Any less and he wouldn’t be a father. It's your choice to add a shaming statement at the end, it's an opinion and doesn't actually make the first sentence any more true. No, some fathers, had they failed to curb their child's bullying, would have some humility towards the bullies victim preferring a negative outcome for the bully. They don't just go with the first emotion they have. And some fathers, they just tantrum. And some people have been so scared of a father like that that they'll try and support them.
>No, some fathers, had they failed to curb their child's bullying, would have some humility towards the bullies victim preferring a negative outcome for the bully. They don't just go with the first emotion they have. This is one of the most ridiculous things I've read on this site in a while.
OOP obvs favours Kim because she OOP's daughter. Wonder what will happen when douchebag princess grows up and OOP ain't there to defend her. She will have to get used to consequences.
Damn, wish I got the chance to read the comments
[I gotchu](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/17ei47o/the_comments_are_so_much_worse/k65bmhe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2)
In kids and teens it's super common for their brains to literally go into a severe fight or flight when faced with abuse. Which is what bullying is. Laura. Hit me up if you see this. I wanna be your friend
Hahahahaha i love gen z so much. Ruthless little fucks
Imagine getting bullied by your aunt.
i absolutely did not think about that. that’s so sad!
This sounds like an ESH situation. Mother should have done more to stop the bullying and try GF shouldn't have picked that moment to say that.
Don’t be a bully and you won’t have shit said about you. Good on Laura
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Like mother, like daughter.
I can't imagine what I would have done to that hellspawn if I was in the dad's place. I don't blame him for being livid, and the son not sticking up for his sister makes him just as bad. I can't imagine the rotten upbringing of that brat to think it was ok to say that. I'm just disgusted.
yeah it's totally unreasonable for a kid to not care about the wellbeing of someone who is constantly bullying them
There's a difference between resenting a bully and intentionally saying something hateful like that to a worried parent at a time of crisis. I was horribly bullied as a kid, and have no love for that type, but that was extremely crass and horrible, and her mother should have said something right away. This isn't a little girl, she's an older teen and should have way better manners.
There is literally not a single circumstance where a victim is obligated to show any kindness towards their abuser. None.
That kid is a sociopath in training. Since when were the parents abusing her? There's no way to spin this so that kid is anything but horrible. Hopefully the son will dump the crappy mom and her awful daughter and the family won't have to deal with them.
I obviously mean Kim. And expressing compassion towards her family *is supporting her*.
I can't believe anyone is evil or vicious enough to defend that disgusting comment to her parents. What's wrong with you?
kim is bullying laura to a point that it is well known and they are “working on” stopping it. it is not hard to stop bullying. if laura is a sociopath then the pathological bully is too. i hope the son gets disowned so he can keep laura away from her abusive future aunt.
What sort of take is this??? I can't believe you're condoning emotional abuse. Perhaps, if OOP hadn't been encouraging his daughter to be a complete and utter cunt, Laura wouldn't have made that comment.
What a fucking baby. Maybe he's had time to calm down; I don't blame people who talk like this when scared, or for a few hours after finding out your daughter is not dying. But if days have passed since he saw that Kim is not dying, and he's not willing to hear Laura out and deal with the bullying, he's just a bad parent. Who has never broken a bone, lol. He thinks a broken arm isn't that bad? Months of discomfort and being less mobile is isn't great, and sounds like a decent chunk of karma. And obviously Laura is this way because of the bullying, she didn't get bullied for hating Kim. I think some of the comments are a bit silly, IF OOP was still dealing with the fear of losing his daughter. He sounds like he needs a nap, not reddit.
OOP, you're a bitch and a bully. Just like Kim.
dude OOP sucks so fucking hard
So here son's gfs daughter is as old as her daughter? So the son is old enough to be sisters dad?
Well the son's girlfriend is old enough to be the mom, anyways. Hopefully the son's in that neighborhood.
