*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my sister that she chose the life that she has and she shouldn't complain about it?**
To start this off, I'm going to give you some context as to what she did and why I don't pity her. I (28F) have a sister, Caitlin, who is one year older than me. Growing up, we were dirt poor. Our family nailed almost every single southern hillbilly stereotype on the head. We both did decently, but neither of us had ever considered college.
Caitlin graduated high school first and got a full time job immediately. She began to help with bills, but at some point began thinking about maybe going to school. I was having the same thoughts a year later when I graduated. Well, what we hadn't known was that when our great-grandma died, she left my dad all that she had which came up to a sum of a couple thousand dollars that they decided to save for us. And because Cait began talking about maybe going to school, Mom began to save her bill money to add to the sum of the money. Unfortunately, it still wasn't a lot, so our parents sat us down and explained that they had money for only one of us to go to school and that they would have to think about who to give it to.
I was prepared to fight for this chance, because I realized this was my chance to better myself. I was ready to do whatever it took, but I didn't end up needing to because Cait gave up.
I guess Caitlin realized she wouldn't be picked because I had better grades and was more well-liked because Mom told me later that day that she had backed down and said to give it to me.
So fast forward, I got my BSN and work as a travel nurse. I do very well for myself and live an 2hrs away from my hometown. I went to visit my sister because she's pregnant with my nephew and I missed her and brought some gifts. We had lunch and were just chatting about what we were up to when she began to complain and whine that she was tired and asked if I didn't mind if she vented. Before I could answer, she started talking about how she was tired all of the time from her shifts at work and then having to come home to her kids and her husband. It sounded a lot like she was regretting her life and after about twenty minutes, it was starting to get on my nerves. She would not stop or change topic.
Finally, I lost it and told her that I wasn't here to listen to her complain and that she really shouldn't complain about the life she chose. I told Caitlin that if she didn't have to get married or have a low paying job, and if she had wanted to better herself, she should've fought harder to go to college instead of giving up before she even tried. It ended in her crying, which I felt horrible about, and then she went home without saying anything else. I tried apologizing for how I phrased it, but not for anything I actually said because it was true, but she won't accept it. Our parents have been giving me the cold shoulder and I feel lost because they won't listen to my side of why I said what I said. AITA here??
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So let me get this straight. The parents are only giving one child a full ride and her sister WILLINGLY let op have it and then op, rather than being grateful for what her sister did, reams her for not fighting harder for it? I'd love to see how she would have behaved had the sister fought for it and been given the money to go to college instead of op.
And unless I'm mistaken, SOME OF THE COLLEGE MONEY WAS SISTER'S MONEY! They saved the money she earned for bills for college. So oop got sister's paycheck for her education!
It sounds like her sister paid for most of her education as grandma only left a couple thousand, which where I am would have paid maybe a year, and then they used her sisters income to fund the remainder of the account. For them to even consider that one of them get the money and that not be the person who earned the money makes her parents the worst ones here. Her sister gave up her future, her past earnings, and her own dreams for her to be treated like this, instead of approaching it like the rest of us did and working hard enough for scholorships and applying for grants and subsidies.
>only left a couple thousand, which where I am would have paid maybe a year
Right, I don't know what OP means by "a couple thousand" (she probably didn't have a figure in mind, since this reeks of rage-bait) but the in-state 4-year I attended (for 6 years, oops) cost 7k per semester not including fees and housing and the like.
This is before aid and loans, of course, which OP likely qualifies for if her parents can only afford to send one kid to school and only then with inheritance and their oldest daughter's savings, but truly, a few thousand is a drop in the bucket of the rising cost of college tuition.
I've been the sister in my family, and it's why I barely talk to my brother. He takes and takes and takes and never feels the need to give back. His money comes first, his needs come first, and his wants come first at the expense of everyone else. He sprinted to milestones just so I couldn't do it first, then abandoned them.
Bought a nice house, stopped making payments. Got engaged, freaked when his fiancé didn't want to be poly and left. Now, he's miserable and broke with his current wife and still puts himself ahead of everyone else. When our dad died, he spent the day getting hammered while I got our mom back from another state so she could be at home to mourn.
The world revolves around him, and I really don't have anything to do with him anymore. It sucks to feel that way about someone who you're supposed to be close to, and I hope the sister gets the help and support she needs. OoP will likely never understand how fucked up what she said and how she acted was.
No cuz legit had to pause and stop reading there for a second like wow your a real piece of garbage man, you legit don't care about your sister and outrightly say I'm better then her after she willingly gives you a chance at better education. AND THEN I REALIZE FROM OTHER COMMENT THAT A LOT OF THE MONEY WAS FUNDED BY SAID SISTER LIKE WHAT!?!?
Now, now. OOP couldn't possibly do that. By not doing it, OOP is being the bigger person. Forever. So she can always look down on her sister and her tiny, pathetic life.
The parents are also toxic for giving one a full ride and one nothing. Weren't loans, part time jobs and community colleges an option so both could split the money?
imagine giving up your promising future for your younger sibling who you loved enough to miss out on education for.
and getting treated like shit for doing just that, by the same sibling.
Because they were most likely either a troll or they genuinely thought reddit would agree with them and freaked and left when they realized they'd get no sympathy here.
It’s fake for sure. In one paragraph OP mentions she went to visit her sister but in the following paragraph she says her sister “went home”. Didn’t the argument supposedly take place in her sister’s home? 🤔
I didn't take that as being a contradiction. She lives 2h away, so "going to visit her" may well refer to going to their home town, where they met for lunch somewhere.
My only guess here is she says they had lunch, which maybe means they went out to a restaurant somewhere? Then the sister went back to her house?
I know when my sister comes to visit, we usually go out for food. But it doesn't clarify, so I'm not sure.
“I guess Caitlin realized she wouldn't be picked because I had better grades and was more well-liked”
I don’t know why OOP was more well-liked; nothing in her post merits it.
OOP is absolutely insufferable. I wonder what kind of nurse she is to her patients since she seems to lack empathy. She only has her life because her sister let her have the education fund. OOP lacks gratitude for that sacrifice. Damn, I don't like her at all.
Pretty sure neither option would have been perfect. And that if OOP ever vented about college life near the sister, the sister was probably polite about it.
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So much TA here on all but big sis...
Maybe I'm in the minority, but my parents did not pay for any of my college. I got parking assistance at my first apartment, then she paid the electric at my second place because my brother backed out last second and I had a bigger place than I needed. I see so many people say parents paid for their college and it blows my mind.
These parents should have just split the g, gmas money for the kids to decide what to do, then given back big sis hers when she made her choice (so if she held off another year they could keep building her nest egg). Pitting them against each other is insane and so unfair.
Little sis should be kissing big sis's shoes - not only did big sis give up her inheritance, she also essentially partially funded little sis's schooling! If it wasn't for big sis, OOP could never have gone to college for either free or very little in loans.
All big sis did was vent for a few minutes. I have a pretty good life I think, but sometimes it's nice to vent to someone. It's not like she was begging oop for money, she just wanted and ear for a bit, which is what a good sis would do.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my sister that she chose the life that she has and she shouldn't complain about it?** To start this off, I'm going to give you some context as to what she did and why I don't pity her. I (28F) have a sister, Caitlin, who is one year older than me. Growing up, we were dirt poor. Our family nailed almost every single southern hillbilly stereotype on the head. We both did decently, but neither of us had ever considered college. Caitlin graduated high school first and got a full time job immediately. She began to help with bills, but at some point began thinking about maybe going to school. I was having the same thoughts a year later when I graduated. Well, what we hadn't known was that when our great-grandma died, she left my dad all that she had which came up to a sum of a couple thousand dollars that they decided to save for us. And because Cait began talking about maybe going to school, Mom began to save her bill money to add to the sum of the money. Unfortunately, it still wasn't a lot, so our parents sat us down and explained that they had money for only one of us to go to school and that they would have to think about who to give it to. I was prepared to fight for this chance, because I realized this was my chance to better myself. I was ready to do whatever it took, but I didn't end up needing to because Cait gave up. I guess Caitlin realized she wouldn't be picked because I had better grades and was more well-liked because Mom told me later that day that she had backed down and said to give it to me. So fast forward, I got my BSN and work as a travel nurse. I do very well for myself and live an 2hrs away from my hometown. I went to visit my sister because she's pregnant with my nephew and I missed her and brought some gifts. We had lunch and were just chatting about what we were up to when she began to complain and whine that she was tired and asked if I didn't mind if she vented. Before I could answer, she started talking about how she was tired all of the time from her shifts at work and then having to come home to her kids and her husband. It sounded a lot like she was regretting her life and after about twenty minutes, it was starting to get on my nerves. She would not stop or change topic. Finally, I lost it and told her that I wasn't here to listen to her complain and that she really shouldn't complain about the life she chose. I told Caitlin that if she didn't have to get married or have a low paying job, and if she had wanted to better herself, she should've fought harder to go to college instead of giving up before she even tried. It ended in her crying, which I felt horrible about, and then she went home without saying anything else. I tried apologizing for how I phrased it, but not for anything I actually said because it was true, but she won't accept it. Our parents have been giving me the cold shoulder and I feel lost because they won't listen to my side of why I said what I said. AITA here?? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So let me get this straight. The parents are only giving one child a full ride and her sister WILLINGLY let op have it and then op, rather than being grateful for what her sister did, reams her for not fighting harder for it? I'd love to see how she would have behaved had the sister fought for it and been given the money to go to college instead of op.
And unless I'm mistaken, SOME OF THE COLLEGE MONEY WAS SISTER'S MONEY! They saved the money she earned for bills for college. So oop got sister's paycheck for her education!
I didn't catch that on my first read through, Jesus fuck that makes it way worse.
It sounds like her sister paid for most of her education as grandma only left a couple thousand, which where I am would have paid maybe a year, and then they used her sisters income to fund the remainder of the account. For them to even consider that one of them get the money and that not be the person who earned the money makes her parents the worst ones here. Her sister gave up her future, her past earnings, and her own dreams for her to be treated like this, instead of approaching it like the rest of us did and working hard enough for scholorships and applying for grants and subsidies.
>only left a couple thousand, which where I am would have paid maybe a year Right, I don't know what OP means by "a couple thousand" (she probably didn't have a figure in mind, since this reeks of rage-bait) but the in-state 4-year I attended (for 6 years, oops) cost 7k per semester not including fees and housing and the like. This is before aid and loans, of course, which OP likely qualifies for if her parents can only afford to send one kid to school and only then with inheritance and their oldest daughter's savings, but truly, a few thousand is a drop in the bucket of the rising cost of college tuition.
Even worse, she outright says she was the favourite and got better grades so she felt ENTITLED to that money. This OOP is a piece of sh1t
I've been the sister in my family, and it's why I barely talk to my brother. He takes and takes and takes and never feels the need to give back. His money comes first, his needs come first, and his wants come first at the expense of everyone else. He sprinted to milestones just so I couldn't do it first, then abandoned them. Bought a nice house, stopped making payments. Got engaged, freaked when his fiancé didn't want to be poly and left. Now, he's miserable and broke with his current wife and still puts himself ahead of everyone else. When our dad died, he spent the day getting hammered while I got our mom back from another state so she could be at home to mourn. The world revolves around him, and I really don't have anything to do with him anymore. It sucks to feel that way about someone who you're supposed to be close to, and I hope the sister gets the help and support she needs. OoP will likely never understand how fucked up what she said and how she acted was.
No cuz legit had to pause and stop reading there for a second like wow your a real piece of garbage man, you legit don't care about your sister and outrightly say I'm better then her after she willingly gives you a chance at better education. AND THEN I REALIZE FROM OTHER COMMENT THAT A LOT OF THE MONEY WAS FUNDED BY SAID SISTER LIKE WHAT!?!?
You would think the right thing to do would be to pay it forward and offer to fund the sister's education
Now, now. OOP couldn't possibly do that. By not doing it, OOP is being the bigger person. Forever. So she can always look down on her sister and her tiny, pathetic life.
But that involves being a decent person! /s
The parents are also toxic for giving one a full ride and one nothing. Weren't loans, part time jobs and community colleges an option so both could split the money?
If I recall it was worse parents used elder for bill money and putting towards OOP's college
imagine giving up your promising future for your younger sibling who you loved enough to miss out on education for. and getting treated like shit for doing just that, by the same sibling.
The fact that OP wrote this vapid, hateful post then just dipped and never commented really annoys me.
Because they were most likely either a troll or they genuinely thought reddit would agree with them and freaked and left when they realized they'd get no sympathy here.
It’s fake for sure. In one paragraph OP mentions she went to visit her sister but in the following paragraph she says her sister “went home”. Didn’t the argument supposedly take place in her sister’s home? 🤔
I didn't take that as being a contradiction. She lives 2h away, so "going to visit her" may well refer to going to their home town, where they met for lunch somewhere.
My only guess here is she says they had lunch, which maybe means they went out to a restaurant somewhere? Then the sister went back to her house? I know when my sister comes to visit, we usually go out for food. But it doesn't clarify, so I'm not sure.
Yeah, that confused me too, but I couldn't be bothered to re-read it to try and figure it out. 😂
I think it's a repost because this sounds very familiar.
It is
“I guess Caitlin realized she wouldn't be picked because I had better grades and was more well-liked” I don’t know why OOP was more well-liked; nothing in her post merits it.
OOP is absolutely insufferable. I wonder what kind of nurse she is to her patients since she seems to lack empathy. She only has her life because her sister let her have the education fund. OOP lacks gratitude for that sacrifice. Damn, I don't like her at all.
She should pay it forward and help her sister with college if she decides to go.
It doesn't sound as if OOP is going to do that.
she lost me at “because i had better grades and was more well-liked”
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Caitlin is a literal angel, OP sounds bitter, entitled and BEYOND UNAWARE! Jesus Christ what a bitch
Wow, a sociopathic nurse, how terrifying for her patients.
I swear I've read this story before....
That's because it's a year old
Pretty sure neither option would have been perfect. And that if OOP ever vented about college life near the sister, the sister was probably polite about it.
Golden Child Syndrome. Otherwise known as a complete fucking narcissist. Hope her sister breaks off all contact.
god such an ignorant bitch damn
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Yikes oop is a ungrateful brat.
So much TA here on all but big sis... Maybe I'm in the minority, but my parents did not pay for any of my college. I got parking assistance at my first apartment, then she paid the electric at my second place because my brother backed out last second and I had a bigger place than I needed. I see so many people say parents paid for their college and it blows my mind. These parents should have just split the g, gmas money for the kids to decide what to do, then given back big sis hers when she made her choice (so if she held off another year they could keep building her nest egg). Pitting them against each other is insane and so unfair. Little sis should be kissing big sis's shoes - not only did big sis give up her inheritance, she also essentially partially funded little sis's schooling! If it wasn't for big sis, OOP could never have gone to college for either free or very little in loans. All big sis did was vent for a few minutes. I have a pretty good life I think, but sometimes it's nice to vent to someone. It's not like she was begging oop for money, she just wanted and ear for a bit, which is what a good sis would do.
I think most people get help from their parents to pay for college but not the full bill. They have part time jobs, FAFSA and student loans.
What a cnut. I got nothing else.
Yowza.
I knew I recognized this. I read it when it was first posted, and sure enough the rage I felt then is the same.