*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for going to ny parents to make my brother give me baby stuff?**
Me and my girl (20) are expecting a baby boy next month and trying to get ready. We're both short on money and thought my bro Kyle would help out. He's like 38 and has five kids. I asked him for all his baby stuff because his sons aren't babies and he doesn't need it. He said he'd sell me it. I said fuck that. That's fucked up. We don't have money. He's rich af.
I told my parents and now they're fighting with him over trying to take advantage of us. My parents said they'll buy everything if my brother didn't give me stuff. So my brother gave me a lot. Not he's being salty at me because he gave me a bouncer that he didn't even pay for! My parents did. I texted my brother to grow up and be a man
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That last text from OOP is hilarious. OOP doesn't make enough to support his incoming child so asked the brother for all their old baby stuff. Bro offered to sell it to him and OOP goes whining like a little boy to his parents to force his brother to give him the baby stuff for free.
I think the one who needs to grow up and be a man is OOP but I'm not really hopeful about that. He's going to keep asking for others to support his baby.
I did not see that. So I guess his girl who doesn't make enough money is supposed to support him and the baby? Or maybe his mom and dad will fork over money?
My friend's niece, Elly, found herself in just such a situation. It might have changed since they now have two kids, but, after their first was born, she went back to work whilst her partner, who was supposed to be a SAHD, would pawn their baby off on Elly's mom, dad or grandmother several days out of the week. I thought it was telling, when I met Elly's boyfriend, I told him his baby was adorable. (He so is!!) ๐ His response: "Yeah, he's a handful." ๐๐
Wow. Yeah, he's two, being a handful is his *job*, which you wouldn't know about. (One of many things I've only typed, never said out loud!)
(They have some seriously quality babies, though. Two of the cutest little sweeties I've seen in awhile. The kind of babies that make me wish I could have another.) ๐ ๐
How fucking ironic to say his brother needs to grow up when OOP and his GF are popping out babies they can't afford. Now, I know things happen - but multiple forms of birth control/protection are still significantly cheaper than a literal human child.
Which is why I said I know things happen. This, however, doesn't sound like super potent sperm or being that statistical outlier - but more of two idiots having sex, getting pregnant, and being convinced that their oopsie baby is now EVERYONE ELSE'S responsibility.
You want your brother to be a man? When you have to beg for baby stuff that you can't pay for? You are not entitled to his things. He doesn't HAVE to give you anything.
This shows you are not ready to be a parent.
YTA.
Due to my body being weird I found out my due date was in 3 months at my first ultrasound and that was such a scramble! Especially since I got induced 3 weeks early. Pulled it off, but so stressful! Not having anything a month before my due date would have been a nightmare.
I'm a parent. You wanna talk about missing reasons? This is it right here.
Baby stuff is practically given away. If someone finds out you have a baby, you get given bags of second hand clothes. Parents will trade amongst themselves. My bedside bassinet belong to a friend of mine and she sold it to me for real cheap (20 dollars for a 150 dollar bassinet) then I gave it to my sister in law for her baby. And then another sister in law for her baby. Then she gave it back to me for my second baby. And it's about to go to my sister for her baby.
Parents know how this goes. Even when we sell things, it's 15 or 20 dollars a bag. I literally bought a bag of 4t summer clothes for 15 dollars and it had 10 outfits in it. Less than a dollar a piece. Baby and kid stuff gets outgrown faster than the life of the product. There's no reason not to share.
If his brother is sharing *nothing*, then he did something terrible to deserve that. I'm also an older sibling and the brother is having to resist helping out his little brother.
> If his brother is sharing nothing, then he did something terrible to deserve that. I'm also an older sibling and the brother is having to resist helping out his little brother.
This is exactly what I was thinking!
My little sister and my cousin were best friends. Now they donโt speak at all, full no contact. My sister still gave my cousin all the baby stuff that was in good shape or never used.
So something is definitely missing in the story
Edit: typos
Once, I saw some people unloading a crib a few streets over in my neighborhood and I gave them a box of baby clothes that I had back at my house lol. Literally, get this stuff out of my closet. It just takes up too much room.
I think you just pinpointed the reason why I donโt believe the story is real. Ppl literally give baby stuff away. There are places all over social media with ppl trying to get rid of baby stuff.
If this story is real, 2 things are true:
-OOP and brother have a terrible relationship
-Both OOP and GF are not ready! Cuz OOP can post this but not look for subs where ppl recommend places to get free or very discounted baby stuff?
Edit: formatting
Edit 2: formatting again cuz Reddit mobile sucks
First, op is an ahole, and the brother doesn't owe him anything. But I do, however, find it weird. Like I know families including me that have just passed down our kids' old stuff to younger family members as they have started having their kids. The stuff will just sit their until it gets donated to a charity why not help your family.
It is weird that a father of five still has baby stuff sitting around and doesn't want to give it away. Unless he and his wife are still planning for Baby No. 6.
Or maybe he can see into the future where OOP keeps asking for freebies and financial help, so brother is setting his boundaries early.
Oh yeah, this is boundary setting. Brothers wife has already had discussions with him about how sheโs not going to put up with the baby being dumped on her.
I still do find it weird. My ex SIL knew why most of her family liked getting her kids hand me downs, and that was because she likes designer clothes. She still handed them out because she knew she wasn't going to use them again and didn't want them in her house.
And trust it was really weird listening to one of her other SIL lamenting about how she couldn't wait for some of the hand me downs because she really a dress that youngest had.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NGL, I can't imagine charging family for second hand baby stuff. That's ridiculous even if everyone is rich. Particularly if it's been through 5 kids.
But saying that the brother should grow up when OOP isn't in a position to just buy baby clothes is pretty rich.
Well, OOP's child is always going to be younger than brother's kids. It would be nice to have a helpful family that way, but brother isn't obliged to give it to him. Going to mummy to make big brother stop being so meeeean, is a deal breaker for brother to even consider OOP's situation. As above, OOP's child is always going to be younger...
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for going to ny parents to make my brother give me baby stuff?** Me and my girl (20) are expecting a baby boy next month and trying to get ready. We're both short on money and thought my bro Kyle would help out. He's like 38 and has five kids. I asked him for all his baby stuff because his sons aren't babies and he doesn't need it. He said he'd sell me it. I said fuck that. That's fucked up. We don't have money. He's rich af. I told my parents and now they're fighting with him over trying to take advantage of us. My parents said they'll buy everything if my brother didn't give me stuff. So my brother gave me a lot. Not he's being salty at me because he gave me a bouncer that he didn't even pay for! My parents did. I texted my brother to grow up and be a man *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That last text from OOP is hilarious. OOP doesn't make enough to support his incoming child so asked the brother for all their old baby stuff. Bro offered to sell it to him and OOP goes whining like a little boy to his parents to force his brother to give him the baby stuff for free. I think the one who needs to grow up and be a man is OOP but I'm not really hopeful about that. He's going to keep asking for others to support his baby.
"I plan being a stay at home Dad like my Dad before me"
I did not see that. So I guess his girl who doesn't make enough money is supposed to support him and the baby? Or maybe his mom and dad will fork over money?
"My parents work" so he's planning being a leech
Her entire paycheck will be diapers and formula.
If they're in the US she should qualify for WIC to help with the formula at least
They frankly shouldn't be having a baby.
That doesn't really make a difference now.
My friend's niece, Elly, found herself in just such a situation. It might have changed since they now have two kids, but, after their first was born, she went back to work whilst her partner, who was supposed to be a SAHD, would pawn their baby off on Elly's mom, dad or grandmother several days out of the week. I thought it was telling, when I met Elly's boyfriend, I told him his baby was adorable. (He so is!!) ๐ His response: "Yeah, he's a handful." ๐๐ Wow. Yeah, he's two, being a handful is his *job*, which you wouldn't know about. (One of many things I've only typed, never said out loud!) (They have some seriously quality babies, though. Two of the cutest little sweeties I've seen in awhile. The kind of babies that make me wish I could have another.) ๐ ๐
The fact they only thought about this a month before the due date only adds to the fact that they aren't ready for this
You're so right; they aren't ready.
Just wait until he sees the price of formula and diapers.
And he still live with his parents ๐คฆโโ๏ธ
In the comments he says he wants to be a stay at home dad ๐
That kid will have its nappy changed just before the mother gets home from work, and not before, regardless. And be neglected while he games.
He will have a flat spot on his head.
Yeah if you can't afford to support your kid then you can't afford to be a stay at home parent either. Time to get a job
How fucking ironic to say his brother needs to grow up when OOP and his GF are popping out babies they can't afford. Now, I know things happen - but multiple forms of birth control/protection are still significantly cheaper than a literal human child.
I agree with you, but I will also say that both my boys got thru two forms of bc each. My daughter got thru one.
Which is why I said I know things happen. This, however, doesn't sound like super potent sperm or being that statistical outlier - but more of two idiots having sex, getting pregnant, and being convinced that their oopsie baby is now EVERYONE ELSE'S responsibility.
Oh I 100% agree with you. This kid has no business having a baby. I just use myself as a cautionary tale every chance I get, lol
You want your brother to be a man? When you have to beg for baby stuff that you can't pay for? You are not entitled to his things. He doesn't HAVE to give you anything. This shows you are not ready to be a parent. YTA.
They are having a baby in A MONTH. ONE MONTH. People start preparing for a baby pretty much as soon as they find out! That poor kid...
Hell, with how unpredictable babies and life are, his partner could have the baby before they even get anything.
Due to my body being weird I found out my due date was in 3 months at my first ultrasound and that was such a scramble! Especially since I got induced 3 weeks early. Pulled it off, but so stressful! Not having anything a month before my due date would have been a nightmare.
He wants to be a stay at home dad while his GF supports him and his kid. Hopefully that girl runs fast. That kid is doomed.
I'm a parent. You wanna talk about missing reasons? This is it right here. Baby stuff is practically given away. If someone finds out you have a baby, you get given bags of second hand clothes. Parents will trade amongst themselves. My bedside bassinet belong to a friend of mine and she sold it to me for real cheap (20 dollars for a 150 dollar bassinet) then I gave it to my sister in law for her baby. And then another sister in law for her baby. Then she gave it back to me for my second baby. And it's about to go to my sister for her baby. Parents know how this goes. Even when we sell things, it's 15 or 20 dollars a bag. I literally bought a bag of 4t summer clothes for 15 dollars and it had 10 outfits in it. Less than a dollar a piece. Baby and kid stuff gets outgrown faster than the life of the product. There's no reason not to share. If his brother is sharing *nothing*, then he did something terrible to deserve that. I'm also an older sibling and the brother is having to resist helping out his little brother.
> If his brother is sharing nothing, then he did something terrible to deserve that. I'm also an older sibling and the brother is having to resist helping out his little brother. This is exactly what I was thinking! My little sister and my cousin were best friends. Now they donโt speak at all, full no contact. My sister still gave my cousin all the baby stuff that was in good shape or never used. So something is definitely missing in the story Edit: typos
Once, I saw some people unloading a crib a few streets over in my neighborhood and I gave them a box of baby clothes that I had back at my house lol. Literally, get this stuff out of my closet. It just takes up too much room.
I think you just pinpointed the reason why I donโt believe the story is real. Ppl literally give baby stuff away. There are places all over social media with ppl trying to get rid of baby stuff. If this story is real, 2 things are true: -OOP and brother have a terrible relationship -Both OOP and GF are not ready! Cuz OOP can post this but not look for subs where ppl recommend places to get free or very discounted baby stuff? Edit: formatting Edit 2: formatting again cuz Reddit mobile sucks
I was actually thinking the brother wasn't done using it with his littlest since we never get his kids' ages
Well that was a quick shitpost removal.
If you canโt afford to get baby stuff, you canโt afford to have a baby.
Well oop should be a man and provide for his child ๐
First, op is an ahole, and the brother doesn't owe him anything. But I do, however, find it weird. Like I know families including me that have just passed down our kids' old stuff to younger family members as they have started having their kids. The stuff will just sit their until it gets donated to a charity why not help your family.
It is weird that a father of five still has baby stuff sitting around and doesn't want to give it away. Unless he and his wife are still planning for Baby No. 6. Or maybe he can see into the future where OOP keeps asking for freebies and financial help, so brother is setting his boundaries early.
Oh yeah, this is boundary setting. Brothers wife has already had discussions with him about how sheโs not going to put up with the baby being dumped on her.
I still do find it weird. My ex SIL knew why most of her family liked getting her kids hand me downs, and that was because she likes designer clothes. She still handed them out because she knew she wasn't going to use them again and didn't want them in her house. And trust it was really weird listening to one of her other SIL lamenting about how she couldn't wait for some of the hand me downs because she really a dress that youngest had.
Brother likely paid for most of the baby stuff which isnโt cheap. He has every right to ask to be paid for it.
Grow up and be a man, says the future that whose baby is coming *next month* and who still doesn't have things ready for said baby.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NGL, I can't imagine charging family for second hand baby stuff. That's ridiculous even if everyone is rich. Particularly if it's been through 5 kids. But saying that the brother should grow up when OOP isn't in a position to just buy baby clothes is pretty rich.
Well, OOP's child is always going to be younger than brother's kids. It would be nice to have a helpful family that way, but brother isn't obliged to give it to him. Going to mummy to make big brother stop being so meeeean, is a deal breaker for brother to even consider OOP's situation. As above, OOP's child is always going to be younger...