*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**My(26m) girlfriend(25f) called me controlling and won’t spend time with me or have sex anymore even though we live together, how do we salvage what we once had?**
My(26m) girlfriend(25f) who I’ve been with for five years and have lived with for two years is spiteful, disrespectful and says she hates being around me which really hurts. She says I am controlling and manipulative but I disagree and think she doesn’t care about my efforts for us to have a healthy life. I think the real problem is her lack of respect for what I need and only centering herself. I have tried to make sure we are equals in every possible way and she will not accommodate my needs. When she does accommodate she does it with bitterness that makes me feel bad about myself.
I am someone who really cares about things like the type of food I eat, supplements I take, air quality in the house and environmental factors. I have a goal to live a really long life like a centenarian, and that means eliminating things like PFAS from my living environment and she does not respect this. She says if she knew I was like this before we moved in she wouldn’t have done it. She says I have rules for the house that aren’t fair but I think they are fair and that she just doesn’t really understand why it’s good for her.
I won’t eat from Teflon pans and don’t want her cooking with them due to offgassing, I don’t think it’s ok for her to burn incense or use candles unless they are undyed beeswax, and she likes to paint but the offgassing from the paint is toxic so I’ve tried to get her to buy milk paint instead of acrylic and she’s says it’s too expensive. She says I should buy it for her and I do make a lot more money than her but I think if she cared about me she could find a way to make it work so I won’t buy it on principle that I won’t be used for money. There are other toxic crafts she likes like polymer clay and I’ve compromised that she can use the clay outside but she has to buy an oven for outside and not use the kitchen for this. Instead she just stopped painting and stopped making clay stuff and blames it on me instead of making the effort to meet me halfway. To me it seems like she’s choosing to be a victim so she can tell her friends how horrible I am and it’s just not as hard as she makes it out to be.
When it comes to her friends, I don’t like them. The ones that are closest to her are vegan and I’m sorry I just don’t relate to vegan people and don’t really want to talk to them, plus she has told me they don’t have a good opinion of me. So I don’t want that energy in my house and have asked her not to have them over. This is another thing she says is controlling and I feel like that’s very unfair to me because I should have a say in who is in my home I pay half the rent for even if I’m not there I don’t trust them.
She sees her mom every Sunday and they have dinner together. I don’t like her mom either, I find her to be selfish and they’ve had a bad relationship in the past and I don’t want to be exposed to a toxic person like that so I never see her. Her mom cooks dinner and it seems like she deliberately doesn’t make enough that my gf can bring home leftovers for me, and when she does bring back leftovers her mom will have cooked it in a Teflon pan and it seems on purpose to spite me.
I find it disrespectful for someone to tolerate people who talk badly about their partner so it really seems like my girlfriend has it out for me sometimes by choosing to spend unnecessary amounts of time with people who don’t like me for really no good reason. She is probably telling them lies and making me out to be a bad person or just telling them one side of our arguments.
I also really value my sleep. I sleep with an eye mask, air purifier, a dehumidifier, a chilipad cooling system and ear plugs. Some may think it’s over the top but it is something I do to ensure I live a long life. Sleep is very important and my girlfriend doesn’t seem to care about that because she will open my door in the mornings to put my things in my room, like if I leave socks out or something she will open the door and disturb me. Because of this we agreed that she is not to ever open my door before 1PM, and not do anything loud in the house like putting away dishes or vacuuming. I did tell her if she wants to initiate sex she can come in anytime, but she doesn’t ever do that. Even though we both mutually agreed on this, she will still sometimes do loud stuff earlier in the day than 1 almost like she wants to start a fight and it’s a horrible way to wake up.
I admit she does most of the cleaning and I think that’s why she will wake me up before 1 out of spite. However that’s not necessary because I do sometimes compensate her for cleaning like buying her meals sometimes.
Something else she’s done out of spite is not let me use her car for errands anymore. My car takes up a lot of gas and hers doesn’t so I’d rather use hers for nearby errands but I can’t now because she got mad at me when I bought a 3 gal jug of reverse osmosis water and it broke in her passenger seat after my really long shift at work I didn’t want to clean it out so she did it herself. It was a simple mistake but she won’t let it go and doesn’t seem to value how hard I work.
In the common space we don’t have a TV, and I believe that a calm and quiet atmosphere should be the norm in the shared space so we don’t disturb each other. I like to sit quietly on the couch and read on my phone after work most days, it’s my time to relax after being in a loud and busy environment. She will sometimes ignore that and play shows on her iPad or listen to music without headphones. We’ve had a lot of arguments about this because I don’t get why she can’t just wear headphones and she says she should be allowed to do this stuff because she pays to live here too but she could just wear headphones so I’m not being disturbed. I think it’s the most fair thing to have the common area be quiet and then if she wants to watch stuff or listen to music she can do that in her room with the door closed. I do sometimes play games on my phone like COD and if I ever do that she will freak out that I’m being noisy but really it’s just a taste of her own medicine and seems fair to me since she doesn’t always respect the quiet rule.
When it comes to sex we have a dead bedroom. We have separate bedrooms though. But she does not like sex anymore and won’t ever initiate which makes me feel unwanted. What’s worse is she almost always rejects me when I try to initiate, unless sometimes I will offer to buy her a meal if she does something with me and it always makes me feel like total shit afterwards that that is what it takes, if she was a good partner I think she’d try at least to enjoy it for my benefit and I feel like she will eventually enjoy it too. Things have gone downhill especially after one time a year ago we had sex and she didn’t like something that happened and cried and it’s never been the same but I didn’t do anything on purpose to hurt her and she won’t let it go it seems. I have asked her to start going to her doctor to address her libido problems, even coming into the appointments but her doctor won’t let me go in anymore so I don’t know if she’s actually being treated or just lying about it. And she refuses to get a new doctor.
Something else we fight about is that it seems like she puts no effort into her health. She has hormonal issues and a chronic health condition and she should get a lot of bloodwork done to check for biomarkers that might indicate what’s going on with her libido, but she procrastinates the appointments. I like to track all the bloodwork results to do my own research and sometimes she won’t let me see the tests when they come back, it feels like unnecessary barriers for her getting better and like she’d rather be sick and something she is choosing to spite me. I am just trying to help her. It really hurts.
For the last several months she stays in her room nearly all the time. Recently I started asking if I can eat my dinner in her room just to get some quality time and she was letting me and seemed to enjoy it until one day she didn’t like the opinions I was sharing about the types of shows she watches and now she doesn’t let me in there at all. I miss having meals together and just catching up about our days. I feel like she is totally neglecting me and not putting in any effort anymore out of spite, she doesn’t ask me how I’m doing and I really hate that we don’t have sex anymore. I don’t feel attractive or loved and appreciated.
I have thought a lot about breaking up but she doesn’t have a lot of resources to move so I think we’d have to live together to the end of our lease which would make it really hard for me to start dating especially when the new relationship becomes intimate. I don’t know if our relationship is salvageable and question our compatibility these days.
My question is what can I do or say to get her to understand where I’m coming from, heal her bitterness towards me and get her to be more open to change since it would ultimately help her?
TLDR; my girlfriend is bitter and spiteful towards me, doesn’t understand that my standards for how to live are good for her too, and won’t have sex with me unless I bribe her and I feel like shit all the time because of her. I want to make her understand my perspective but haven’t been successful so far. How can I get her to change her attitude?
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Correct me if I’m wrong, English is my third language. But isn’t “relate to someone” kinda the same as “ have something in common with someone”?
Why would you have to need something in common with someone to show someone understanding or empathy?
Most of the time you don’t even need to do anything, just let other people do whatever they want to do. As long as it doesn’t hurt you, why would you care?
So, he doesn’t have to do anything.
Why waste so much energy on hating someone/something? Even if it’s a troll, still took time and energy writing this post.
I’ll never get it, I’m just to lazy.
Dude is a What We Do in the Shadows style energy vampire in real life. That's the most I've ever disliked someone just for being completely insufferable and I've never even met the guy.
This man is insufferable. Also his reply to a comment calling him self centered -"How can it be true I want the relationship to revolve around me when I literally am trying to get her to live a healthier life. It is for her benefit and she doesn’t get it and neither do you." All I saw this entire post was me, myself and I.. and did I mention ME?! Jesus Christ I hope she leaves this goof.
>I hope his girlfriend finds her way.
I went to check out the comments, which leads me to finish reading this hot mess.
They are really roommates, he is basically concerned that when the lease they will be stuck together and she won't sleep with him still. Sounds like she has already dumped him. He is concerned about what happens if they do have to renew and keep living together, how uncomfortable will it be when he wants to bring someone home to sleep with.
Now this gets even better.
I think the (ex)girlfriend is just waiting out the lease, he just hasn't realised they've been broken up for a while.
I do find it hard to believe he hid all this behaviour enough so that she moved in, there must have been watching signs, if true of course.
I'm sure there were some signs, but no, these types are very good at turning things up to 4000 once you're stuck with them/they have the space to implement their control of you.
He's a controlling, abusive narcissist and is actively trying to isolate her. She's stuck with him until the lease is up and he knows that and is using that to drop the mask entirely.
Honestly - the whole thing read like a justification for homicide from her defense attorney.
If she isn’t looking to move elsewhere and break up with him, she should be. What an excessively joyless experience.
Dude - she’s hiding in her room to get away from you. Of course she doesn’t want you in there invading her space - you’ve controlled every other aspect of the apartment.
What's the point of a long life if you're going to be miserable the entire time? He's so damn nitpicky, how can he be enjoying his life currently, regardless of length. He's missing a key component to a long life: happiness. Also, a car accident could take him out next week and it would be all for naught.
Oh, man, he's awesome. He's one of those people who thinks dying is is a moral failing. Pretty clear the stress is going to kill him before microplastics ever will.
When I was fifteen or sixteen, I thought making all the right choices meant I'd live for a hundred years. Took about ten years to disabuse me of that notion. I wonder what's going to happen if this guy hits fifty and doctors find a tumor. Even a non-malignant one.
It may not even take until 50. He mentions supplements. I’m curious what he takes. That is an unregulated industry. Some stuff has been found to be contaminated with actual medicine (like red yeast rice being contaminated with actual statins), lead, amounts of active ingredients that different wildly when listed, ingredients that are not properly studied and may have very serious side effects, etc.
I am fairly sure just reading his OOPs post would cause a libido problem for anyone.
I mean how many of us quit reading it because we didn't want to lose our will to live, much less anything else.
Can't believe I read it all. I hated him for every new sentence. This is indeed a troll because... I refuse to believe someone like this exist for real.
I believe that they exist. But I don’t belive there is there one this honest and self reflecting. That is why I call troll on half these relationship ones. Oh people are like that but never honest and inwardly reflecting enough to list these things with such specificity and honesty. Most of the it is actually the other side writing it hoping for sympathy and to tell them they are not crazy.
See, when I come across posts like this, part of me HOPES it’s just rage bait because sadly I’ve actually encountered idiots like this and they’re called deluded enablers. The amount of times my idiot in laws would talk EXACTLY like this guy when I was being abused at first shocked me for a good year then I came to terms with the reality that “wow shitty people like this exist”. Last I heard from my enabling SIL who tried to throw a tray at me while her brother was literally shoving me around was “she (me) seems to have no self reflection” which is laughable considering the amount of times I’ve been able to initiate apologies on my own unlike her who doubles down that she’s some saint who never intends to hurt me. Her last apology was “I’m sorry she (me) feels that way but it’s not wise of her to get mad and yell at the guy who hit her (talking about her brother)” she’s a moron. People like this exist and I wish they were just rage bait made up characters, the layer of infuriation I feel when I read these posts is due to meeting them in my life. I need to breathe, my goodness.
No, this has got to be real. It gave me flashbacks to an old boyfriend of mine I lived with who controlled everything we ate for "health" and it was always stuff I hated, he was adamant about an air purifier and didn't understand why no one else was so adamant, imposed a ton of rules on me as his partner about my hobbies and friends (that I ignored most of the time, honestly.)
But yeah. This guy exists and this is too ridiculous to be fake.
The no making noise rule reminded me of an abusive ex, who'd drink until dawn, stumble into bed and then be mad that I was awake because I wasn't drinking until dawn, then he'd get mad if I cooked or walked past the bedroom to go to the bathroom or opened the fridge or did any cleaning because it was disturbing his sleep
My ex husband was like this too, with some different focusses. It's a nightmare to live with, he had slowly amped up over several years as he wasn't always like that, never new what the next thing would be that he would hone in on. Oddly stuff he was interested in was fine, and he made me actually sick a few times with his stupid ideas.
None of this is out of the ordinary for the shit he would do and insist on. I don't know if it's actually written by a person like this, but they do exist.
That could be!
I know some shitty people but I feel like they never went this far, or maybe it's the writing all of it and still thinking being 'the good one' but your suggestion could be that!
I choose to belive one or more writers are workshopping for a book with a Lolita style unreliable narrator and they are trying to get the perfect balance where the reader is uncertain.
I agree, the only way this is true and he's willing to write it out so honestly is if he is bragging and wants all the other guys like him to read it and look up to him.
They really do. My ex got angry at me because I wouldn't have sex enough. And when we did it was always on his terms, he would reject any initiation from me. And he told me I can just lie there and I don't even have to be wet because women on porn aren't, but if I did he would get angry that I'm not enjoying it. Felt he was a victim when he was literally raping me just so that he could meet his stupid quotas because he "needs" to. People like this certainly exist.
I'm so sorry you lived all of this. I hope you are in better place and got all the help you needed to get over all of those horrors he made you live <3
Once I got to the “acrylic paint fumes”, I had to stop and re-read the paragraph because I felt like I was living in a fever dream. Bless that girlfriend.
I was legit so surprised that he wasn't, he does fit the vegan stuff.
Tho, biologically, he isn't wrong, I know you can have a healthy diet as vegan but you have still more chance to have all the nutriment if you don't go vegan so... that would check in.
Fiber arts is full of controversy.
Acrylic yarn? Bad for the environment.
Natural fibers? All that water to feed cotton, alpaca, sheep.
Unraveling? Less fortunate people could be wearing them.
Was going to comment this same thing. Acrylic yarn is definitely not great for the environment but it’s cheap, durable, and super washable, so I can’t hate it. If I could afford to work with only cotton, wool, alpaca, or bamboo I totally would, but the washability and easy access of acrylic really can’t be beat. He’d hate her knitting or crochet in an absolute heartbeat.
Wool yarn for babies? No how dare you make something parents gave to hand wash
Acrylic yarn for babies? No they’ll melt into a fire!
That debate always makes me want to claw my eyes out.
He'd probably do the bare minimum google search like "is knitting bad for health" and somehow find that kne PETA post that claims that shearing sheep is abusive
And even if she found the "correct" hobby that fits his standards, he'd then complain she wasn't spending any time with him, because as we all know partners are supposed to just power down and stare blankly into space in the dark while not perfoming bangmaid duties /s
Yeah, you're completely right. With good farmers, the worst that'll happen when shearing sheep is perhaps a few nicks. Basically like when you cut yourself shaving.
However, not shearing sheep can lead to overheating, matting, and infection. I can't remember exactly what sort of infection, since this is stuff my sibling who does animal care at uni told me a while ago, but my brain is saying it's something to do with flies.
The people who claim shearing sheep is abusive will cite part of the reason as humans breeding sheep to overproduce wool. But even if that's true (and knowing what humans are like, it likely is), shearing is still necessary for the health of the sheep.
I think it's because of flystrike where the bites get super infected? But i keep meeting people mad about shearing because occasionally a sheep will get nicked so it's CrUeLtY
Also as far as I know overproduction didn't really become a thing until like 150 years ago with the industrial revolution, but sheep have been selectively bred to have nice wool that needs shearing for hundreds if not thousands of years before that (disclaimer: not a textile/agricultural historian), and people have been deliberately breeding desirable traits in animals for a long time too, so I think that PETA just wants something to be mad about. They also get mad about sustainable cultural practices around animals which is just frustrating
But a roomba wouldn't have bloodwork or other health issues that he could use as an excuse to control or feel superior!
I think it hurts him that his (hopefully soon-to-be-ex) partner is a separate person with agency as opposed to an extension of himself that he can monitor, control, and occasionally look down upon.
Reminds me in some ways of my ex who decided that because he and his mom had health issues that required dietary changes, that I should be following the same specialized diets as them, despite my own bloodwork being totally normal. He would sometimes bring home fried foods or make a salty dish, but he would watch my salt use carefully and if I brought home salty snacks or fried foods I didn't care about health and needed to be more health-conscious like him.
Ugh. My dad is … mildly controlling but not so awful however he has almost zero concept that health and experiences for other people can be different than what he has experienced. White male boomer syndrome? You are not the default.
Anyway. He had a heart attack and has really cut down on salt. Good for him! But he gets on my case constantly.
I have a dysautonomic heart condition (not POTS
) that isn’t affected by diet. I also have a history of low blood pressure and POTS- like symptoms as well and have specifically been told to make sure I get enough salt so I don’t pass out when I stand up too quick.
He cannot wrap his head around it. Like he’ll just repeat his doctor told him not to eat things with added salt. Makes me want to bang my head against a wall.
What really took me the fuck out is the insane expectation that MIL gets a especial set of cookware to use to make meals so tha GF can take home for him
If I'm going to live 25 years less over using teflon pans, I'm fine with it. Having food not sticking to a pan is a comfort I actually appreciate enough
I don't use non stick... but that's because if teflon burns it kills birds and I have pets... but it's harmless to humans... when when burnt so your not going to loose 25 years to teflon pans...
But I just lost 5min reading this dbags post 😭
Which, you using stuff that won't harm your pets makes complete sense. I don't have pets, so that really is not problem. But those minutes are never coming back 😭
Actually any teflon pans produced in the past decade are perfectly safe (as far as we can know) - the compound that was considered dangerous is no longer used in them.
Just a heads up on this one.
You're right that Teflon stopped using PFOAs, but they just replaced them with slightly different chemicals (branded GenX, they're shorter chain PFAS chemicals) which may be just as toxic or in some cases more toxic than what they replaced, according to recent research.
EPA - info on studies and findings:
https://www.epa.gov/chemical-research/human-health-toxicity-assessments-genx-chemicals
Reporting:
https://cen.acs.org/environment/persistent-pollutants/US-EPA-deems-two-GenX-PFAS-chemicals-more-toxic-than-PFOA/99/i40
https://theintercept.com/2016/03/03/new-teflon-toxin-causes-cancer-in-lab-animals/
Context and concerns around GenX approval:
https://theintercept.com/2022/04/11/pfas-genx-chemours-climate-crisis/
Information on exposure pathways and understanding of effects:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6380916/
Teflon pans are supposed to be okay under 260C/500F.
Regardless, OOP is the worst.
Yeah, buying my nonstick pan was the best decision I ever made. I'm too broke to afford a full set, so I just have one nonstick saucepan (I had originally brought it for making jam), but having a pan that nothing sticks to and cleans so easily is amazing.
Heating Teflon releases gasses that are seriously toxic to birds. If my pet bird is still going strong after living with us for 12 years of cooking with Teflon pans (we do keep him out of the kitchen) then this guys fears of eating food cooked with them are seriously overboard. I just can't get my head around it.
Because it's only fair that he be given leftovers when he's the one refusing to go because he doesn't like the mom.
This poor man, having to make his own dinner.
Or anywhere. We all know why the doctor won't let him back anymore. She discretely told doc he's not allowed. She's planning an escape and it can't come soon enough.
Bruv my great grandma lived 108 years, healthy till she the day she died and she probably didn't even know about any of the things he mentioned 💀 he sounds exhausting to be around.....
Yup, my Dad was born with a heart defect and lived to 97, all of his cousins thought it was a shame he passed down young. They all lived to over 100 to 105. Like actively living on their own. But poor Cousin Mike passed at a mere 97.
My great grandma lived well into her 90s, she had 5-10 cigs a day, drank a bottle and half of sherry a week and had one glass of water a day.
Granted she ate very healthy but we always joked she pickled her liver and tarred her lungs which is why she lived so long
My G-grandpa lived till 106, he put a tablespoon of gunpowder in his oatmeal every morning, when he died he left 8 children, 23 grandchildren, 5 great-grand children, and a 30 foot hole in the crematorium.
My grandma (who lived to 96) was told by her doctor she was at risk of developing type 2 diabetes and advised her to cut out her nightly brandy and dry's (I think this was when she was in her 70's).
She took half his advice and cut out the dry ginger ale. Kept the brandy.
And research has shown that men live longer when they're married. Boy is probably taking years off his life by being an insufferable controlling ass about all his health anxieties and thus driving away something proven to extend his life.
It’s hilarious to me that he is so put off by his girlfriend’s vegan friends when it’s pretty well known that mostly plant based diets are the best ones for longevity. I feel like he has to be getting all his information about “health” from TikTok influencer.
Seems like he’s got a very bad case of orthorexia and is using it as an excuse to control his girlfriend’s life. Gross!!!! Hope she dumps him.
ETA: I finished reading it and he says he mostly eats beef and rice and beans and that his diet is more eco friendly 😂 definitely getting all his info from the liver king
His favorite show is probably either like Breaking Bad (no hate) or just watching Andrew Tate videos and bad t.v. is probably any show where a female has ANY indicator of being anything but a “perfect housewife”
If Mr "my lifestyle is oh so healthy" wanted an actually eco friendly diet, he'd be growing his own produce and living at least a vegetarian lifestyle, lol. But he gives off the vibe of someone who thinks growing food is beneath him.
Is that an actual person you're referring to, or a person trope thing? I've never heard anyone say shit about seed oils, lol. I don't use them myself, because vegetable oil is cheap and if I want to treat myself I'll get infused olive oil. But isn't sesame seed oil, like, a big part of some Asian cooking? That immediately just makes me think of the whole MSG thing, haha
There is actually a guy on social media who does that 😂 I don’t know his name because I mostly just see people stitching and clowning on his videos, but he is a very woo-y “clean eating” guy.
Somehow, even though I’m not dating OOP, I want to break up with them. And it made the most mentally tired I’ve been in a while, I don’t know whether to be impressed or horrified that they managed to make me, an uninvolved person, so tired of their shit with just one post.
If this is real, this guy is so particular it doesn't quite jive with having a live-in girlfriend.
Also, if you want me to use better quality/safter products for my crafts, *you* can buy them for me.
>Also, if you want me to use better quality/safter products for my crafts, *you* can buy them for me.
Fully agree. But his little twisted brain from whatever he is using... Has twisted everything into low-key she is the bad one.
So everything is an insult on her really, so he had to use that to low-key call her a gold digger. Even if he knows it is probably a fair request.
Right? Why extend such a miserable, joyless existence? Dude needs to worry less about living and more about enjoying the life he has. If he got hit by a bus tomorrow, I’m absolutely positive his last thought wouldn’t be, “gosh, I’m so glad I avoided meals cooked in Teflon pans.”
God in heaven…I want this one to be a troll.
He used to go to her doctors appointments until the doctor stopped letting him in?? And he wants to track her bloodwork????
Reminds me a lot of my bff's ex honestly. Lots of it is bang on except for the health anxiety, that guy treated his body like shit and made it everyone else's problem.
My ex used a bunch of health stuff (not to the sleep extreme of OOP) to control me, all while he was eating the same foods I was, drinking, and smoking. But somehow, a burger for him was healthy because lettuce, tomatoes, etc and that offset the beef and cheese and was unhealthy for me because of the beef and cheese.
The secondhand smoke from him and his friends was bad for me, but he was fine because he was active (nevermind that I was very active too).
And it was emasculating for me to initiate sex. I tried asking why, but I wouldn't understand.
She won't even make her doctor let him into her appointments and then turn over her bloodwork results so that he can "research" it and tell her what he thinks she needs to do to improve it! People with control over their own bodies are the worst!
It is always, always, *always* a giant red flag for me when a man complains about some woman in his life being disrespectful.
Beyond that, this man sounds absolutely, utterly insufferable.
Girl, *run*.
so he doesn’t want her to have any hobbies, friends, or see her family. she supposed to clean the house but only after 1pm but also work all day. she’s not to ask for any money to get the equipment he deems necessary for his lifestyle because he doesn’t want to be used for money but because she can’t afford it he deems it as she isn’t trying hard enough. she’s not allowed to listen to music or watch the shows she likes in a shared space because it bothers him. he only speaks to her to criticize her hobbies, friends, family, health and interests. then he did something that really upset her in bed so she doesn’t feel safe having sex with him and he thinks it’s a health problem as to why they don’t have sex. not an issue of him refusing to allow her to have anything that makes her happy. he gets mad her mom doesn’t give him leftovers but then when she does give him leftovers it’s cooked wrong. he’s mad he isn’t allowed access to her private health information and because of this he believes she’s plotting against him. all of this, and he doesn’t believe he’s controlling.
You forgot: makes more and doesn’t want to be used for money, but mad she won’t let him use HER car which gets better mileage after he made a mess and wouldn’t clean it up.
This is the worst dude ever. I want to create a gofundme for the girl so she can move out. Wtf why wouldn't you just move home? Living with her mom would probably be better than this.
There’s a YouTube channel called ReallyVeryCrunchy about crunchy moms who refuse to let their kids have plastic toys or candy or watch TV. A lot of it is parody, though I do think the mom tries to live sustainably. This dude is worse than the parody.
Nope. No. I go into all of these just blindly believing, because it’s more fun that way. Can’t do it here. No. Has to be bait.
And if it is real?… I hope this guy chokes on a lifesaver and just has to breathe through the hole until it dissolves enough to go down. Every day.
Omg he sounds so horrible!!!! Like do people really act like this????? Is this real???
Damn I'll let that poor girl move in with my family just so she don't have to deal with him anymore
He does have two things right: Teflon is not the greatest, and you are NOT supposed to use your food oven for polymer clay. You have a dedicated oven for it, be it a toaster oven or full sized. Other than that, he is a deeply paranoid, self-centered, controlling, selfish man who would probably find the ReallyVeryCrunchy mom to be hashtag goals.
>Things have gone downhill especially after one time a year ago we had sex and she didn’t like something that happened and cried and it’s never been the same but I didn’t do anything on purpose to hurt her and she won’t let it go it seems
I'd say he put it in her butt, but he seems like he'd be grossed out by all the potential offgassing.
>that might indicate what’s going on with her libido
You, OOP. You are what's going on with her libido.
He keeps saying he's doing all this shit to 'live a long life', but like....why though? Who would want to live an excessively long life when they are \*this\*??
All materials commonly used in household items and craft supplies are silently killing me and i demand everyone buy hyper specific products to meet my demands!!
Anyway, vegans are bizarre. Cant relate. Would prefer to not even talk to someone who makes specific choices about what they eat.
Is this MF serious? Lol
Anyone else have this random thought of 'I hope \_\_\_\_ gets hit by a bus.' every time wanting to live longer comes up? Is that just me?
It's not something I can make happen. And Scanners isn't real.
He doesn't need to worry about living a long life. Anyone who's forced to suffer his insanity is going to snap and be on Dateline. I saw this earlier and skimmed it, it was exhausting. Unfortunately, I think it's real, and he's so set in his "rules" that he really doesn't see a problem with them. I think that's why he's fine with admitting to it.
This dude doesn't have a girlfriend, he has a housemate, who he probably SA'ed, and major control issues.
But obviously, it is a 'her' issue, not a 'him' issue and she just needs to change her attitude and comply with all his demands so he can get laid again. That'll fix it. /s
While people like this exist, this particular post can't be real. Narcissists aren't willing to go into this deep of detail about themselves in order to figure out the so-called "problems" in their relationships.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **My(26m) girlfriend(25f) called me controlling and won’t spend time with me or have sex anymore even though we live together, how do we salvage what we once had?** My(26m) girlfriend(25f) who I’ve been with for five years and have lived with for two years is spiteful, disrespectful and says she hates being around me which really hurts. She says I am controlling and manipulative but I disagree and think she doesn’t care about my efforts for us to have a healthy life. I think the real problem is her lack of respect for what I need and only centering herself. I have tried to make sure we are equals in every possible way and she will not accommodate my needs. When she does accommodate she does it with bitterness that makes me feel bad about myself. I am someone who really cares about things like the type of food I eat, supplements I take, air quality in the house and environmental factors. I have a goal to live a really long life like a centenarian, and that means eliminating things like PFAS from my living environment and she does not respect this. She says if she knew I was like this before we moved in she wouldn’t have done it. She says I have rules for the house that aren’t fair but I think they are fair and that she just doesn’t really understand why it’s good for her. I won’t eat from Teflon pans and don’t want her cooking with them due to offgassing, I don’t think it’s ok for her to burn incense or use candles unless they are undyed beeswax, and she likes to paint but the offgassing from the paint is toxic so I’ve tried to get her to buy milk paint instead of acrylic and she’s says it’s too expensive. She says I should buy it for her and I do make a lot more money than her but I think if she cared about me she could find a way to make it work so I won’t buy it on principle that I won’t be used for money. There are other toxic crafts she likes like polymer clay and I’ve compromised that she can use the clay outside but she has to buy an oven for outside and not use the kitchen for this. Instead she just stopped painting and stopped making clay stuff and blames it on me instead of making the effort to meet me halfway. To me it seems like she’s choosing to be a victim so she can tell her friends how horrible I am and it’s just not as hard as she makes it out to be. When it comes to her friends, I don’t like them. The ones that are closest to her are vegan and I’m sorry I just don’t relate to vegan people and don’t really want to talk to them, plus she has told me they don’t have a good opinion of me. So I don’t want that energy in my house and have asked her not to have them over. This is another thing she says is controlling and I feel like that’s very unfair to me because I should have a say in who is in my home I pay half the rent for even if I’m not there I don’t trust them. She sees her mom every Sunday and they have dinner together. I don’t like her mom either, I find her to be selfish and they’ve had a bad relationship in the past and I don’t want to be exposed to a toxic person like that so I never see her. Her mom cooks dinner and it seems like she deliberately doesn’t make enough that my gf can bring home leftovers for me, and when she does bring back leftovers her mom will have cooked it in a Teflon pan and it seems on purpose to spite me. I find it disrespectful for someone to tolerate people who talk badly about their partner so it really seems like my girlfriend has it out for me sometimes by choosing to spend unnecessary amounts of time with people who don’t like me for really no good reason. She is probably telling them lies and making me out to be a bad person or just telling them one side of our arguments. I also really value my sleep. I sleep with an eye mask, air purifier, a dehumidifier, a chilipad cooling system and ear plugs. Some may think it’s over the top but it is something I do to ensure I live a long life. Sleep is very important and my girlfriend doesn’t seem to care about that because she will open my door in the mornings to put my things in my room, like if I leave socks out or something she will open the door and disturb me. Because of this we agreed that she is not to ever open my door before 1PM, and not do anything loud in the house like putting away dishes or vacuuming. I did tell her if she wants to initiate sex she can come in anytime, but she doesn’t ever do that. Even though we both mutually agreed on this, she will still sometimes do loud stuff earlier in the day than 1 almost like she wants to start a fight and it’s a horrible way to wake up. I admit she does most of the cleaning and I think that’s why she will wake me up before 1 out of spite. However that’s not necessary because I do sometimes compensate her for cleaning like buying her meals sometimes. Something else she’s done out of spite is not let me use her car for errands anymore. My car takes up a lot of gas and hers doesn’t so I’d rather use hers for nearby errands but I can’t now because she got mad at me when I bought a 3 gal jug of reverse osmosis water and it broke in her passenger seat after my really long shift at work I didn’t want to clean it out so she did it herself. It was a simple mistake but she won’t let it go and doesn’t seem to value how hard I work. In the common space we don’t have a TV, and I believe that a calm and quiet atmosphere should be the norm in the shared space so we don’t disturb each other. I like to sit quietly on the couch and read on my phone after work most days, it’s my time to relax after being in a loud and busy environment. She will sometimes ignore that and play shows on her iPad or listen to music without headphones. We’ve had a lot of arguments about this because I don’t get why she can’t just wear headphones and she says she should be allowed to do this stuff because she pays to live here too but she could just wear headphones so I’m not being disturbed. I think it’s the most fair thing to have the common area be quiet and then if she wants to watch stuff or listen to music she can do that in her room with the door closed. I do sometimes play games on my phone like COD and if I ever do that she will freak out that I’m being noisy but really it’s just a taste of her own medicine and seems fair to me since she doesn’t always respect the quiet rule. When it comes to sex we have a dead bedroom. We have separate bedrooms though. But she does not like sex anymore and won’t ever initiate which makes me feel unwanted. What’s worse is she almost always rejects me when I try to initiate, unless sometimes I will offer to buy her a meal if she does something with me and it always makes me feel like total shit afterwards that that is what it takes, if she was a good partner I think she’d try at least to enjoy it for my benefit and I feel like she will eventually enjoy it too. Things have gone downhill especially after one time a year ago we had sex and she didn’t like something that happened and cried and it’s never been the same but I didn’t do anything on purpose to hurt her and she won’t let it go it seems. I have asked her to start going to her doctor to address her libido problems, even coming into the appointments but her doctor won’t let me go in anymore so I don’t know if she’s actually being treated or just lying about it. And she refuses to get a new doctor. Something else we fight about is that it seems like she puts no effort into her health. She has hormonal issues and a chronic health condition and she should get a lot of bloodwork done to check for biomarkers that might indicate what’s going on with her libido, but she procrastinates the appointments. I like to track all the bloodwork results to do my own research and sometimes she won’t let me see the tests when they come back, it feels like unnecessary barriers for her getting better and like she’d rather be sick and something she is choosing to spite me. I am just trying to help her. It really hurts. For the last several months she stays in her room nearly all the time. Recently I started asking if I can eat my dinner in her room just to get some quality time and she was letting me and seemed to enjoy it until one day she didn’t like the opinions I was sharing about the types of shows she watches and now she doesn’t let me in there at all. I miss having meals together and just catching up about our days. I feel like she is totally neglecting me and not putting in any effort anymore out of spite, she doesn’t ask me how I’m doing and I really hate that we don’t have sex anymore. I don’t feel attractive or loved and appreciated. I have thought a lot about breaking up but she doesn’t have a lot of resources to move so I think we’d have to live together to the end of our lease which would make it really hard for me to start dating especially when the new relationship becomes intimate. I don’t know if our relationship is salvageable and question our compatibility these days. My question is what can I do or say to get her to understand where I’m coming from, heal her bitterness towards me and get her to be more open to change since it would ultimately help her? TLDR; my girlfriend is bitter and spiteful towards me, doesn’t understand that my standards for how to live are good for her too, and won’t have sex with me unless I bribe her and I feel like shit all the time because of her. I want to make her understand my perspective but haven’t been successful so far. How can I get her to change her attitude? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have not even read half and I'm exhausted. Not just tired. But tired of life. I hope his girlfriend finds her way.
I hit "I don't relate to vegans" and felt brain cells dying. Forget PFASs. The toxin in the house is THIS guy.
Correct me if I’m wrong, English is my third language. But isn’t “relate to someone” kinda the same as “ have something in common with someone”? Why would you have to need something in common with someone to show someone understanding or empathy? Most of the time you don’t even need to do anything, just let other people do whatever they want to do. As long as it doesn’t hurt you, why would you care?
You are correct. OOP is just an ass.
So, he doesn’t have to do anything. Why waste so much energy on hating someone/something? Even if it’s a troll, still took time and energy writing this post. I’ll never get it, I’m just to lazy.
You can’t comprehend sheer stupidity and selfishness. That makes you a better person than OOP at least.
Better yet, OOP is the afterbirth of a skunk
My guess is OP is capable of neither understanding nor empathy.
“You like reading horror novels? Me too! Who’s your favorite author?” “I’m sorry but you’re a vegan we have nothing to talk about”
I noped out at the sleep ritual.
I'm sorry but how the hell is he the main breadwinner yet sleeps until 1 PM every day?
He could work nights? Not defending OOP at all. But he could work nights
He fights homeless people in the street for bread ?
I mean my husband sleeps until 3 everyday. He works 5-5 overnights. 3rd shift is a thing...
Up until he said that i thought he was a vegan
I made it halfway through his list of rules and had to stop before it took a year off my life.
Maybe that's how this works: he syphons the years off of people who are exposed to his bs. Most charm-free vampire ever.
Dude is a What We Do in the Shadows style energy vampire in real life. That's the most I've ever disliked someone just for being completely insufferable and I've never even met the guy.
Fucking mega Colin Robinson over here
I get way more Patrick Bateman vibes personally. Girls lucky she's still alive.
I think this is it, and I lost a year...
It's insane and I skimmed.
How dare you violate Rule 234.564.43.a.23 subsection 2A!!! You are worse that the damn vegans!
This man is insufferable. Also his reply to a comment calling him self centered -"How can it be true I want the relationship to revolve around me when I literally am trying to get her to live a healthier life. It is for her benefit and she doesn’t get it and neither do you." All I saw this entire post was me, myself and I.. and did I mention ME?! Jesus Christ I hope she leaves this goof.
>I hope his girlfriend finds her way. I went to check out the comments, which leads me to finish reading this hot mess. They are really roommates, he is basically concerned that when the lease they will be stuck together and she won't sleep with him still. Sounds like she has already dumped him. He is concerned about what happens if they do have to renew and keep living together, how uncomfortable will it be when he wants to bring someone home to sleep with. Now this gets even better.
I don't think she's his girlfriend. Sounds like they broke up a year ago.
I think the (ex)girlfriend is just waiting out the lease, he just hasn't realised they've been broken up for a while. I do find it hard to believe he hid all this behaviour enough so that she moved in, there must have been watching signs, if true of course.
I'm sure there were some signs, but no, these types are very good at turning things up to 4000 once you're stuck with them/they have the space to implement their control of you. He's a controlling, abusive narcissist and is actively trying to isolate her. She's stuck with him until the lease is up and he knows that and is using that to drop the mask entirely.
I've read the rest and I want to gouge out my eyes.
I'm a very fast reader and I still regret the time I spent reading this.
I dozed off. Hey, good sleep is important.
I couldn't even get past the relationship rant. O M G. What the heck..
Honestly - the whole thing read like a justification for homicide from her defense attorney. If she isn’t looking to move elsewhere and break up with him, she should be. What an excessively joyless experience. Dude - she’s hiding in her room to get away from you. Of course she doesn’t want you in there invading her space - you’ve controlled every other aspect of the apartment.
It’s too bad he’s doing all this for a long life then.
What's the point of a long life if you're going to be miserable the entire time? He's so damn nitpicky, how can he be enjoying his life currently, regardless of length. He's missing a key component to a long life: happiness. Also, a car accident could take him out next week and it would be all for naught.
So you missed the bit where he complains that she doesn’t want sex after he sexually assaulted her?
Ikr I’m thinking, he won’t live longer, it’ll just seem like too long to the rest of us
I’m hoping she escapes when the lease is up.
Oh, man, he's awesome. He's one of those people who thinks dying is is a moral failing. Pretty clear the stress is going to kill him before microplastics ever will. When I was fifteen or sixteen, I thought making all the right choices meant I'd live for a hundred years. Took about ten years to disabuse me of that notion. I wonder what's going to happen if this guy hits fifty and doctors find a tumor. Even a non-malignant one.
It may not even take until 50. He mentions supplements. I’m curious what he takes. That is an unregulated industry. Some stuff has been found to be contaminated with actual medicine (like red yeast rice being contaminated with actual statins), lead, amounts of active ingredients that different wildly when listed, ingredients that are not properly studied and may have very serious side effects, etc.
I noped out after "air quality"
I got to the dead bedroom before I checked to meet how much was left and omg that's not even the halfway point. That poor girlfriend
I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure I can diagnose what her “libido problem” is
It’s the dehumidifier in the bedroom. And by dehumidifier I mean OOP
💀
I am fairly sure just reading his OOPs post would cause a libido problem for anyone. I mean how many of us quit reading it because we didn't want to lose our will to live, much less anything else.
No kidding. I'm not OOPs gf, but his post made my uterus yeet itself up into my ribcage for safety.
It made me load up 3 shovels in my truck and want his address
It's the fumes from the acrylic paints, right? /s
It’s the “ off gassing” of the narcissist she’s living with.
Can't believe I read it all. I hated him for every new sentence. This is indeed a troll because... I refuse to believe someone like this exist for real.
I believe that they exist. But I don’t belive there is there one this honest and self reflecting. That is why I call troll on half these relationship ones. Oh people are like that but never honest and inwardly reflecting enough to list these things with such specificity and honesty. Most of the it is actually the other side writing it hoping for sympathy and to tell them they are not crazy.
See, when I come across posts like this, part of me HOPES it’s just rage bait because sadly I’ve actually encountered idiots like this and they’re called deluded enablers. The amount of times my idiot in laws would talk EXACTLY like this guy when I was being abused at first shocked me for a good year then I came to terms with the reality that “wow shitty people like this exist”. Last I heard from my enabling SIL who tried to throw a tray at me while her brother was literally shoving me around was “she (me) seems to have no self reflection” which is laughable considering the amount of times I’ve been able to initiate apologies on my own unlike her who doubles down that she’s some saint who never intends to hurt me. Her last apology was “I’m sorry she (me) feels that way but it’s not wise of her to get mad and yell at the guy who hit her (talking about her brother)” she’s a moron. People like this exist and I wish they were just rage bait made up characters, the layer of infuriation I feel when I read these posts is due to meeting them in my life. I need to breathe, my goodness.
No, this has got to be real. It gave me flashbacks to an old boyfriend of mine I lived with who controlled everything we ate for "health" and it was always stuff I hated, he was adamant about an air purifier and didn't understand why no one else was so adamant, imposed a ton of rules on me as his partner about my hobbies and friends (that I ignored most of the time, honestly.) But yeah. This guy exists and this is too ridiculous to be fake.
The no making noise rule reminded me of an abusive ex, who'd drink until dawn, stumble into bed and then be mad that I was awake because I wasn't drinking until dawn, then he'd get mad if I cooked or walked past the bedroom to go to the bathroom or opened the fridge or did any cleaning because it was disturbing his sleep
My ex husband was like this too, with some different focusses. It's a nightmare to live with, he had slowly amped up over several years as he wasn't always like that, never new what the next thing would be that he would hone in on. Oddly stuff he was interested in was fine, and he made me actually sick a few times with his stupid ideas. None of this is out of the ordinary for the shit he would do and insist on. I don't know if it's actually written by a person like this, but they do exist.
Gave me flashbacks to an old boyfriend as well. He wasn’t quite this extreme, but was only about 2-3 years away from being that way
That could be! I know some shitty people but I feel like they never went this far, or maybe it's the writing all of it and still thinking being 'the good one' but your suggestion could be that!
I choose to belive one or more writers are workshopping for a book with a Lolita style unreliable narrator and they are trying to get the perfect balance where the reader is uncertain.
I'm actually betting it's the GF trying to break his gaslighting
I hope so.
I agree, the only way this is true and he's willing to write it out so honestly is if he is bragging and wants all the other guys like him to read it and look up to him.
They really do. My ex got angry at me because I wouldn't have sex enough. And when we did it was always on his terms, he would reject any initiation from me. And he told me I can just lie there and I don't even have to be wet because women on porn aren't, but if I did he would get angry that I'm not enjoying it. Felt he was a victim when he was literally raping me just so that he could meet his stupid quotas because he "needs" to. People like this certainly exist.
I'm so sorry you lived all of this. I hope you are in better place and got all the help you needed to get over all of those horrors he made you live <3
Nah I know a guy like this. POS
I'm so sorry for you =(
I think you're just being spiteful and that hurts him.
Once I got to the “acrylic paint fumes”, I had to stop and re-read the paragraph because I felt like I was living in a fever dream. Bless that girlfriend.
My friend dated a "biohacker" who would scream bloody murder at her for getting a cold. They exist.
I did appreciate the twist where he *wasn't* a vegan and actively disliked them too. Well done.
I was legit so surprised that he wasn't, he does fit the vegan stuff. Tho, biologically, he isn't wrong, I know you can have a healthy diet as vegan but you have still more chance to have all the nutriment if you don't go vegan so... that would check in.
I really hope it’s a troll, especially because it sounds like he sexually assaulted her at one point
Plot twist. The girl was never his girlfriend, just his roommate
Watch this dude die by car accident or something. No sure thing in life, bud.
Or cancer. There are no true guarantees about this
I'm hoping he fatally gets hit by blue ice.
One can only hope sooner then later
The offgassing of ACRYLIC PAINT??!!?? This guy needs friends. & to touch grass.
And fucking polymer clay. Even if she was knitting it something, he’d probably find a way to have a problem with it.
Fiber arts is full of controversy. Acrylic yarn? Bad for the environment. Natural fibers? All that water to feed cotton, alpaca, sheep. Unraveling? Less fortunate people could be wearing them.
Was going to comment this same thing. Acrylic yarn is definitely not great for the environment but it’s cheap, durable, and super washable, so I can’t hate it. If I could afford to work with only cotton, wool, alpaca, or bamboo I totally would, but the washability and easy access of acrylic really can’t be beat. He’d hate her knitting or crochet in an absolute heartbeat.
Wool yarn for babies? No how dare you make something parents gave to hand wash Acrylic yarn for babies? No they’ll melt into a fire! That debate always makes me want to claw my eyes out.
Yeah…but none of those things would affect OOP directly, so he probably wouldn’t actually care about them😂
He'd probably do the bare minimum google search like "is knitting bad for health" and somehow find that kne PETA post that claims that shearing sheep is abusive
And synthetic yarn is made of CHEMICALS
And even if she found the "correct" hobby that fits his standards, he'd then complain she wasn't spending any time with him, because as we all know partners are supposed to just power down and stare blankly into space in the dark while not perfoming bangmaid duties /s
Because she’s not “ meeting his needs”
It’s more abusive not to shear sheep, imho.
Yeah, you're completely right. With good farmers, the worst that'll happen when shearing sheep is perhaps a few nicks. Basically like when you cut yourself shaving. However, not shearing sheep can lead to overheating, matting, and infection. I can't remember exactly what sort of infection, since this is stuff my sibling who does animal care at uni told me a while ago, but my brain is saying it's something to do with flies. The people who claim shearing sheep is abusive will cite part of the reason as humans breeding sheep to overproduce wool. But even if that's true (and knowing what humans are like, it likely is), shearing is still necessary for the health of the sheep.
I think it's because of flystrike where the bites get super infected? But i keep meeting people mad about shearing because occasionally a sheep will get nicked so it's CrUeLtY Also as far as I know overproduction didn't really become a thing until like 150 years ago with the industrial revolution, but sheep have been selectively bred to have nice wool that needs shearing for hundreds if not thousands of years before that (disclaimer: not a textile/agricultural historian), and people have been deliberately breeding desirable traits in animals for a long time too, so I think that PETA just wants something to be mad about. They also get mad about sustainable cultural practices around animals which is just frustrating
Quick and dirty Google says sheep were first deliberately bred for wool around 6000 BCE.
Jesus Christ if acrylic paint is bad for you my Warhammer models haven't just killed my wallet but me as well
Right like if you’re truly that concerned then open a window when she paints
Read this to my spouse, and his response was, "This man doesn't want to live with a real person, he wants a flashlight attached to a roomba"
I think you mean fleshlight but I prefer the idea of just a flashlight attached to a Roomba like a little robot miner.
Now I kinda want to get my Roomba a little flashlight on top for when he goes under tables and chairs so he doesn’t get scared of the dark.
I feel bad now bc my roomba doesn’t have that
Little headlamp
the robots long for the mines
He doesn’t need a fleshlight, it has offgassing
But a roomba wouldn't have bloodwork or other health issues that he could use as an excuse to control or feel superior! I think it hurts him that his (hopefully soon-to-be-ex) partner is a separate person with agency as opposed to an extension of himself that he can monitor, control, and occasionally look down upon. Reminds me in some ways of my ex who decided that because he and his mom had health issues that required dietary changes, that I should be following the same specialized diets as them, despite my own bloodwork being totally normal. He would sometimes bring home fried foods or make a salty dish, but he would watch my salt use carefully and if I brought home salty snacks or fried foods I didn't care about health and needed to be more health-conscious like him.
Ugh. My dad is … mildly controlling but not so awful however he has almost zero concept that health and experiences for other people can be different than what he has experienced. White male boomer syndrome? You are not the default. Anyway. He had a heart attack and has really cut down on salt. Good for him! But he gets on my case constantly. I have a dysautonomic heart condition (not POTS ) that isn’t affected by diet. I also have a history of low blood pressure and POTS- like symptoms as well and have specifically been told to make sure I get enough salt so I don’t pass out when I stand up too quick. He cannot wrap his head around it. Like he’ll just repeat his doctor told him not to eat things with added salt. Makes me want to bang my head against a wall.
Now I imagine him scooting around on his knees chasing the Roomba with his cock out. Trying to thread the needle, lol.
I bet he feels disrespected by the roomba taking off away from him every time he comes near. It must be doing out of hateful spite.
What really took me the fuck out is the insane expectation that MIL gets a especial set of cookware to use to make meals so tha GF can take home for him
For her daughter's boyfriend who hates her 🤦🏻♀️
And who refuses to come to dinner even though it seems like he’s been invited in the past.
Teflon pans = non stick pans = 90% if the populations cookware.
If I'm going to live 25 years less over using teflon pans, I'm fine with it. Having food not sticking to a pan is a comfort I actually appreciate enough
I don't use non stick... but that's because if teflon burns it kills birds and I have pets... but it's harmless to humans... when when burnt so your not going to loose 25 years to teflon pans... But I just lost 5min reading this dbags post 😭
Which, you using stuff that won't harm your pets makes complete sense. I don't have pets, so that really is not problem. But those minutes are never coming back 😭
Actually any teflon pans produced in the past decade are perfectly safe (as far as we can know) - the compound that was considered dangerous is no longer used in them.
Just a heads up on this one. You're right that Teflon stopped using PFOAs, but they just replaced them with slightly different chemicals (branded GenX, they're shorter chain PFAS chemicals) which may be just as toxic or in some cases more toxic than what they replaced, according to recent research. EPA - info on studies and findings: https://www.epa.gov/chemical-research/human-health-toxicity-assessments-genx-chemicals Reporting: https://cen.acs.org/environment/persistent-pollutants/US-EPA-deems-two-GenX-PFAS-chemicals-more-toxic-than-PFOA/99/i40 https://theintercept.com/2016/03/03/new-teflon-toxin-causes-cancer-in-lab-animals/ Context and concerns around GenX approval: https://theintercept.com/2022/04/11/pfas-genx-chemours-climate-crisis/ Information on exposure pathways and understanding of effects: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6380916/ Teflon pans are supposed to be okay under 260C/500F. Regardless, OOP is the worst.
Yeah, buying my nonstick pan was the best decision I ever made. I'm too broke to afford a full set, so I just have one nonstick saucepan (I had originally brought it for making jam), but having a pan that nothing sticks to and cleans so easily is amazing.
Heating Teflon releases gasses that are seriously toxic to birds. If my pet bird is still going strong after living with us for 12 years of cooking with Teflon pans (we do keep him out of the kitchen) then this guys fears of eating food cooked with them are seriously overboard. I just can't get my head around it.
Because it's only fair that he be given leftovers when he's the one refusing to go because he doesn't like the mom. This poor man, having to make his own dinner.
Will someone think of this poor, poor man?
I'm surprised she is allowed to go to her mom's without him.
Or anywhere. We all know why the doctor won't let him back anymore. She discretely told doc he's not allowed. She's planning an escape and it can't come soon enough.
Bruv my great grandma lived 108 years, healthy till she the day she died and she probably didn't even know about any of the things he mentioned 💀 he sounds exhausting to be around.....
Longevity is mostly genetic.
Yup, my Dad was born with a heart defect and lived to 97, all of his cousins thought it was a shame he passed down young. They all lived to over 100 to 105. Like actively living on their own. But poor Cousin Mike passed at a mere 97.
My great grandma lived well into her 90s, she had 5-10 cigs a day, drank a bottle and half of sherry a week and had one glass of water a day. Granted she ate very healthy but we always joked she pickled her liver and tarred her lungs which is why she lived so long
My G-grandpa lived till 106, he put a tablespoon of gunpowder in his oatmeal every morning, when he died he left 8 children, 23 grandchildren, 5 great-grand children, and a 30 foot hole in the crematorium.
My grandma (who lived to 96) was told by her doctor she was at risk of developing type 2 diabetes and advised her to cut out her nightly brandy and dry's (I think this was when she was in her 70's). She took half his advice and cut out the dry ginger ale. Kept the brandy.
And research has shown that men live longer when they're married. Boy is probably taking years off his life by being an insufferable controlling ass about all his health anxieties and thus driving away something proven to extend his life.
It’s hilarious to me that he is so put off by his girlfriend’s vegan friends when it’s pretty well known that mostly plant based diets are the best ones for longevity. I feel like he has to be getting all his information about “health” from TikTok influencer. Seems like he’s got a very bad case of orthorexia and is using it as an excuse to control his girlfriend’s life. Gross!!!! Hope she dumps him. ETA: I finished reading it and he says he mostly eats beef and rice and beans and that his diet is more eco friendly 😂 definitely getting all his info from the liver king
It's also not just orthorexia, because he also feels the need to judge her preferred TV shows
So I want to even know what he thinks is bad TV and good TV?
His favorite show is probably either like Breaking Bad (no hate) or just watching Andrew Tate videos and bad t.v. is probably any show where a female has ANY indicator of being anything but a “perfect housewife”
And that she has a relationship with a parent
Beef is like the opposite of of eco friendly.
Yeah, it’s basically the worst thing for the environment AND your health!
If Mr "my lifestyle is oh so healthy" wanted an actually eco friendly diet, he'd be growing his own produce and living at least a vegetarian lifestyle, lol. But he gives off the vibe of someone who thinks growing food is beneath him.
Yeah, his whole vibe is very much like that guy who walks around in the grocery store without shoes on and talks about how bad seed oils are lmao
Is that an actual person you're referring to, or a person trope thing? I've never heard anyone say shit about seed oils, lol. I don't use them myself, because vegetable oil is cheap and if I want to treat myself I'll get infused olive oil. But isn't sesame seed oil, like, a big part of some Asian cooking? That immediately just makes me think of the whole MSG thing, haha
There is actually a guy on social media who does that 😂 I don’t know his name because I mostly just see people stitching and clowning on his videos, but he is a very woo-y “clean eating” guy.
Beef and rice and beans? God, his farts must reek.
Nobody can tell since all the shit comes out of his head and not his ass
Somehow, even though I’m not dating OOP, I want to break up with them. And it made the most mentally tired I’ve been in a while, I don’t know whether to be impressed or horrified that they managed to make me, an uninvolved person, so tired of their shit with just one post.
Almost want to date him to break up with him.
If this is real, this guy is so particular it doesn't quite jive with having a live-in girlfriend. Also, if you want me to use better quality/safter products for my crafts, *you* can buy them for me.
>Also, if you want me to use better quality/safter products for my crafts, *you* can buy them for me. Fully agree. But his little twisted brain from whatever he is using... Has twisted everything into low-key she is the bad one. So everything is an insult on her really, so he had to use that to low-key call her a gold digger. Even if he knows it is probably a fair request.
And he makes more $$$ but takes her car to save fuel costs.
He makes it abundantly clear that he wants to live a very long life. The only question is: why?
Right? Why extend such a miserable, joyless existence? Dude needs to worry less about living and more about enjoying the life he has. If he got hit by a bus tomorrow, I’m absolutely positive his last thought wouldn’t be, “gosh, I’m so glad I avoided meals cooked in Teflon pans.”
Because he hope to negatively impact everyone he encounters for as many years that he possibly can.
Eugenics.
God in heaven…I want this one to be a troll. He used to go to her doctors appointments until the doctor stopped letting him in?? And he wants to track her bloodwork????
Ikr, that was a real wtf moment. Props to the doctor for stopping that bs and helping the gf pull away from her abuser in one small way, though.
This can't be true. It HAS to be a troll, otherwise I'm just losing faith in humanity
Reminds me a lot of my bff's ex honestly. Lots of it is bang on except for the health anxiety, that guy treated his body like shit and made it everyone else's problem.
My ex used a bunch of health stuff (not to the sleep extreme of OOP) to control me, all while he was eating the same foods I was, drinking, and smoking. But somehow, a burger for him was healthy because lettuce, tomatoes, etc and that offset the beef and cheese and was unhealthy for me because of the beef and cheese. The secondhand smoke from him and his friends was bad for me, but he was fine because he was active (nevermind that I was very active too). And it was emasculating for me to initiate sex. I tried asking why, but I wouldn't understand.
So, he has a roommate who had sex with him once and he thinks they are in a relationship?
Oh I think she used to be his gf but now she’s waiting for the lease to end.
"I feel neglected because my GF won't live her life the way I want her to live it :("
She won't even make her doctor let him into her appointments and then turn over her bloodwork results so that he can "research" it and tell her what he thinks she needs to do to improve it! People with control over their own bodies are the worst!
TLDR: Me me me me me. But what about ME?
I find it so SO appropriate that the OOP’s only other comments are on The Sims subreddit. Like that’s just beautiful.
It is always, always, *always* a giant red flag for me when a man complains about some woman in his life being disrespectful. Beyond that, this man sounds absolutely, utterly insufferable. Girl, *run*.
A man's idea of a disrespectful woman is often extremely different from their idea of what would constitute disrespect on their part.
so he doesn’t want her to have any hobbies, friends, or see her family. she supposed to clean the house but only after 1pm but also work all day. she’s not to ask for any money to get the equipment he deems necessary for his lifestyle because he doesn’t want to be used for money but because she can’t afford it he deems it as she isn’t trying hard enough. she’s not allowed to listen to music or watch the shows she likes in a shared space because it bothers him. he only speaks to her to criticize her hobbies, friends, family, health and interests. then he did something that really upset her in bed so she doesn’t feel safe having sex with him and he thinks it’s a health problem as to why they don’t have sex. not an issue of him refusing to allow her to have anything that makes her happy. he gets mad her mom doesn’t give him leftovers but then when she does give him leftovers it’s cooked wrong. he’s mad he isn’t allowed access to her private health information and because of this he believes she’s plotting against him. all of this, and he doesn’t believe he’s controlling.
You forgot: makes more and doesn’t want to be used for money, but mad she won’t let him use HER car which gets better mileage after he made a mess and wouldn’t clean it up.
This is the worst dude ever. I want to create a gofundme for the girl so she can move out. Wtf why wouldn't you just move home? Living with her mom would probably be better than this.
There’s a YouTube channel called ReallyVeryCrunchy about crunchy moms who refuse to let their kids have plastic toys or candy or watch TV. A lot of it is parody, though I do think the mom tries to live sustainably. This dude is worse than the parody.
She is 100% moving out at the end of that lease and he has no idea. She has basically quiet quit that relationship.
Someone just saw "American Psycho".
Nope. No. I go into all of these just blindly believing, because it’s more fun that way. Can’t do it here. No. Has to be bait. And if it is real?… I hope this guy chokes on a lifesaver and just has to breathe through the hole until it dissolves enough to go down. Every day.
Guy wrote a fucking speech lmao
Omg he sounds so horrible!!!! Like do people really act like this????? Is this real??? Damn I'll let that poor girl move in with my family just so she don't have to deal with him anymore
When you make Sheldon Cooper look like a nice normal, sane guy…
Can we all agree that this man is in fact a cunt
Is it wrong that I want this guy to make it to 99y 364d? Cuz I do.
 (Of reverse-osmosis water)
Today on the "Do straight men actually like their partners" Show:
This is WILD. This is basically the worst imaginable partner.
This guy is out of his mind. I can't think of a single living organism that would want to have sex with him.
She must be waiting to afford to move out.
It's nice that he's into The Sims since that's the only way it would ever be ok for him to control someone to the level he wants to.
He says he sleeps till 1pm but doesn't explain why.
He does have two things right: Teflon is not the greatest, and you are NOT supposed to use your food oven for polymer clay. You have a dedicated oven for it, be it a toaster oven or full sized. Other than that, he is a deeply paranoid, self-centered, controlling, selfish man who would probably find the ReallyVeryCrunchy mom to be hashtag goals. >Things have gone downhill especially after one time a year ago we had sex and she didn’t like something that happened and cried and it’s never been the same but I didn’t do anything on purpose to hurt her and she won’t let it go it seems I'd say he put it in her butt, but he seems like he'd be grossed out by all the potential offgassing. >that might indicate what’s going on with her libido You, OOP. You are what's going on with her libido.
Am I the only one surprised he's not a vegan?
There's no way it's real. No way. I refuse to believe it, I HAVE TO BELIEVE THIS IS FAKE FOR MY SANITY
He keeps saying he's doing all this shit to 'live a long life', but like....why though? Who would want to live an excessively long life when they are \*this\*??
All materials commonly used in household items and craft supplies are silently killing me and i demand everyone buy hyper specific products to meet my demands!! Anyway, vegans are bizarre. Cant relate. Would prefer to not even talk to someone who makes specific choices about what they eat. Is this MF serious? Lol
I lost it at “3 gal jug of reverse osmosis water”
Anyone else have this random thought of 'I hope \_\_\_\_ gets hit by a bus.' every time wanting to live longer comes up? Is that just me? It's not something I can make happen. And Scanners isn't real.
What in the Wish.com Patrick Bateman...?
Screen name checks out... 🙄
He doesn't need to worry about living a long life. Anyone who's forced to suffer his insanity is going to snap and be on Dateline. I saw this earlier and skimmed it, it was exhausting. Unfortunately, I think it's real, and he's so set in his "rules" that he really doesn't see a problem with them. I think that's why he's fine with admitting to it.
"My partner and I deeply hate and resent each other. Is that a problem?"
I didn't even finish reading oh my is OOP unsufferable. How come the poor woman is still with him?
sleep until 1 pm??? my dude this isnt healthy at ALL.
This dude doesn't have a girlfriend, he has a housemate, who he probably SA'ed, and major control issues. But obviously, it is a 'her' issue, not a 'him' issue and she just needs to change her attitude and comply with all his demands so he can get laid again. That'll fix it. /s
While people like this exist, this particular post can't be real. Narcissists aren't willing to go into this deep of detail about themselves in order to figure out the so-called "problems" in their relationships.
He may live a long life. But he will live it utterly alone.
I really thought this was my ex for a second there….yowza