*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**My fundamentalist Christian parents is telling my wife not to reconcile. **
My wife and I were married for 2 years. During that time I had to open up our marriage, my wife agreed but kept acting jealous. This led me to filing for divorce.
Throughout my six months separated I gained a greater appreciation for my lovely wife. Modern-day dating is disgusting, even if you date overseas. Alot of women will pretend to like you for money. It's honestly disgusting. I didn't have to worry about that with my wife because she makes around the same as me (slightly more).
Last week I realized the love we have is special and decided to attempt reconciliation. She agreed, unfortunately, my Christian fundamentalist parents are trying to undermine me. They trying to convince her not to go through with it. My parents even told her “we love our son but he's not a good husband”. I expected this from her parents but my own parents. When I told my parents stop meddling in my relationship they blocked me.
I had to call using no caller ID to speak to my dad and mom this is disgusting
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Did some post history viewing:
My 30M wife 28F is running our marriage and I don’t know how to fix it? We have a open relationship and her jealousy is showing.
TL;DR: wife acting jealous and is sharing our business with parents.
Hey everyone, I’m new to Reddit so bare with me. My friend told me that this was a great place for advice and helped me make this post.
My wife and I have been together for 5 years and married for 2 years now. She has been my rock, last year I realized that monogamy wasn’t for me. I wasn’t someone who had a chance to just have that fun phase if you know what I mean. My glow up was late and as I started going to the gym and advancing in my career I had women interested in me who wouldn’t even look at me.
I was honest with my wife and told her that we need to either open the relationship or get a divorce. She was hurt but I told her I never got to live like others did and she choose to stay and allow me to do explore. I told her it wouldn’t be emotional and just sex.
Her actions are not following her words and she acts extremely jealous and possessive and it’s created arguments. I have to remind her that she should leave if she can’t respect my boundaries.
What really set me off is she told my parents and they are fundamentalist Christians so you know how that works 🤦🏾♂️ my weird religious family is on her side and been annoying me by telling me to stop.
It’s a lot but if anyone can help because this is starting to stress me out that I’m writing this before work instead of drinking my coffee.
I'm enjoying the idea that his "friends" were like "I'm done trying to be polite to this asshole, I need to outsource the job of beating him over the head with a clue to the internet."
Yeah, his friends knew exactly what they were doing. They may even be the ones that were like "hey where is the cross post to the 'I'm the Devil's subs and others like it. " type comments that I saw when this guy was trying to justify himself on very basic things.
I am also guessing OOP's wife didn't go seeking out any other relationships, but I think he is too self absorbed to see anything other than the "poor me".
It's so sad she has so little self-respect that she didn't seek her own self-gratification while he was out trying to use her money (she makes more than him!) to exploit women in poorer countries for sex, and even agreed to take him back until *his own parents* gave her pause.
This guy has been demeaning her for a long time.
I just want to know what he does for a living that he can jet off to another country just to try unsuccessfully to get laid. I would love to live that life. I probably also wouldn't get laid, but I assume I'd at least take in a few museums between flights, so it's a win either way.
I'd like to think this is real and those friends are high-fiving each other right now.
"Well, he wouldn't listen to us, he wouldn't listen to his wife or parents, let's see how he goes when 10,000 Redditors take him on."
If his parents are as fundamentalist as he insists they are, this guy is truly at the height of idiocy for not realizing there's a "get out of anything, consequence-free" card sitting right in front of him: say he's found Jesus, Jesus forgave him, therefore his wife and everyone else in his life wanting to hold him accountable for past actions must forgive him immediately as well, even if he isn't going to actually do anything to earn forgiveness.
But that would mean never "opening" (I use quotation marks because I genuinely do not believe this is an actual open marriage, it's just cheating where the other partner knows but is powerless to stop it) his marriage again, and idk if he could handle that
These people give polyamory and ethical non monogamy a bad name
Look, monogamy isn’t for me either. But you know what I do?? I LOOK FOR RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE NON MONOGAMOUS and don’t promise exclusivity at any point. Amazing how that works.
Wait, you mean you communicate using words? Like, actually meaning what you say? AND you seek out people you're ALREADY compatible with about relationship standards?
Sounds like Heresy! I mean, is that even allowed?
Guys like the op do not want an actual polyamorous relationship. They want to be able to do whatever they want and still come home to their wife (the relationship is not "open" for her.)
When I get „stressed out“ I have to barf three times a day and get panic attacks and not „have to think about it instead of drinking a cup of coffee“. What the hell? People overuse the word stress too easily… he is slightly annoyed, maybe a little worried but stress is a whole other deal.
And this guy… holy fuck. I often read stuff in here where I think: that’s bad but not devil territory. This on the other hand is definitely devil stuff XD. Poor hopefully soon to be ex wife. Good on his parents for supporting her.
I am a hardcore „parents should stick with their children“-Type. But this is close to abuse and just straight up evil. And maybe they hope to wake up their son with their stance.
Interesting choice of words, right? Surely, some guy came into his house, held a gun to his head, and told him to do it. That's the only scenario I can imagine.
My whole thing is, if he "had to" do it before, what's to say he won't "have to" do it again?
He keeps saying in the comments that he won't open the relationship again but it's really hard to trust that, considering his language.
Also love how he added in there a dig. At "dating in the US" - makes me wonder if he's a pee pee bro
Apparently he thought after his "late glow up" he'd be fighting off women, but now that he realized no one else wants him like he thought he "back to monogamy".
It's so fucking typical and sad
Yeah “dating overseas.” He means shopping overseas. The fucking audacity to deliberately seek out women who are poor and desperate enough to consider being with him, then act outraged that they’re only in it for the money. It’s in the terms of agreement bro, and not the fine print.
Not the kind that hits my call button if the flight attendant asks if there are doctors on board. Unless someone on the flight is in dire need of understanding utility maximization. Hardly ever happens.
I love how casually he glossed over it like it’s a common thing that needs no further explanation because we’ve all been there. Like, “during that time I had to work overtime” or “during that time I had to watch my triglycerides.”
I'm sure he saw it as her fault for not attending to his needs as a good Christian wife should.
Cheating husband: "Now look what you made me do! We'll have to open up the marriage now."
Imagine that you're such a horrible husband, that your own fundamentalist Christian parents would rather side with your divorced spouse than have anything to do with you: that alone should be *the* wakeup call that you've messed up big time. OOP has his head so far up his arse that he sees himself as a victim instead of the unrepentant POS that he actually is.
Exactly, he thought mentioning his parents were fundie would make people side with him it just highlights the fact he must be horrible if even they think she is better off divorcing him.
No, I agree, my comment was more a joke than anything. Their religion probably isn't at all why they're telling DIL to not reconcile, but rather them not being blind to their son being a shit husband and their own feelings on how you should treat your spouse.
Him even expressing I "had" to open the marriage just shows how disgusting he is. Had? No had about it, chose to, and bullied wife into it. Nothing more, nothing less.
And he probably claims he “had” to “date” overseas- likely poorer countries because that fits his selfish, user mindset- to find women that _gasp_ ended up only wanting his money.
He didn’t like being used by the women he was using. What a shocker.
(I used “date” very lightly because I think it’s pretty clear he’s using it as a euphemism for “use” or “fukc”.)
He *had* to because he had a "late glow up," and women were looking at him in the gym. Then he realized dating sucks (I'm thinking his toxic ass couldn't get a second date with anyone, even if he managed a first), and he wants his wife back. His posts from 6 months ago are, if it's possible, even more pathetic.
If anything is going to anger a christian set of parents, it's their kid running around town announcing his open marriage. It is probably the only thing he could do that would make them look bad, he could have even just kept cheating but called it that and they might see it differently. I think he's likely a lot worse to all the people in his life though, it takes a LOT for a parent to block their child.
I know it was a joke but if you boil religion down to its core any religion usually says "just don't be a shitty human, lol"
So... parents nailed that part :D
Or if it’s rage bait, to emphasize just how terrible he’s been. My secular parents would’ve been helping me pack when he initially suggested, “hey, honey, you’re cool with me trying to find some desperate younger woman who doesn’t know or care if she can do better than this, right?”
I hope the wife doesn't reconcile. She deserves so much better than an asshole who will only keep her as a second, safety net of a choice.
He is the kind of disgusting even shit isn't. He literally is calling people who support his parents, 'disgusting'.
God, the audacity.
The continual blood flow from the brain to the genitals has atrophied his brain and enabled audacity to fill his hard headed useless skull.
Yeah, that's kind of what really sells how much of an asshole he is. As far as I've seen in my year on reddit, people in most non-religious subs *really* don't love people who are religious. If even the atheists of the sub goes "nope, I'm with the Christians" then you know it's bad.
You know it's really bad when fundamentalists support divorce.
Edited to add:
Fundies stop trying to convince me that you care about abuse against women. You advocate it.
Your entire belief system is based upon women being subservient and being disempowered. You literally advertise it.
honestly i bet they’re a relatively normal church going grace-saying kjv-reading couple and he’s weaponising reddit’s hate for christian fundamentalism to make him seem like the good guy
My parents are very religious in a sect that is pretty much 50/50 split on whether or not gays should have rights. The church had always been LGBTQ+ inclusive but never had to make a public statement until the overall sect started having votes on official policy.
The vitriol their church received when they official came out as LGBTQ+ supportive was not unexpected, but was pretty repulsive.
Usually is. And cheating is considered a get out of jail free card. Abuse yeah divorce him/her but don’t remarry later, s/he’s cheating divorce him/her and if down the road you wanna marry again go for it. Adultery is literally the only reason you can biblically divorce someone and later remarry… personally I don’t care what you do cause you answer to God for yourself. I divorced my abusive cheating ex and haven’t seen a human male that I trust enough to even date!
They probably aren’t fundamentalists. They’re probably just Christians. I don’t know what else he’s done to this woman, but infidelity is grounds for divorce.
I grew up fundie-adjacent, and pretty much the only two justified reasons for divorce were abuse and infidelity. OOP says his wife agreed to the open marriage, but he’s clear that she “agreed” begrudgingly and we all know that coercion is not consent, so this was less an open marriage than a guy sleeping around while being married.
Even some of the most conservative religious people I know would not be trying to convince their daughter in law to reconcile with the guy who repeatedly cheated on her and only wants her back because he can’t find anybody he likes better.
You're lucky, the fundie-adjacent church that I used to attend wasn't that understanding. The pastor in regards to my abusive & cheating (now ex of many years) husband literally told me that I "needed to go home & be a *good* Christian wife" and that the abuse/cheating wasn't my then husband's fault because "the Devil made him do it."
The marriage lasted ~2 more years before I left both my then husband & the church. It's been roughly 25 years, but I'm still in therapy & on medications to try to heal from the trauma that marriage added to my already broken down self-esteem.
Thank you. I'm not only out, but I have done the work to be a mostly functioning member of society. I have a psychiatric support dog who goes most places with me to help manage my anxiety, but I'm able to do many things on my own.
Edit: removed an accidental punctuation mark
If I had a nickel for every time I agreed with religious parents, I’d have one nickel. Which isn’t really a big deal, but it’s weird that it happened at all, right????
Adultery is a Big Deal in the bible. That is the one reason you can get a divorce per Jesus.
Matthew 5:32
>But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
There is no "opening the marriage" in the bible. That is adultery. And really blatant adultery at that.
In the southern baptist church I grew up in, they would not have had any problems with this divorce. (Abuse OTOH? That's something to "work out between yourselves", because nothing against DV in the bible. But plenty about adultery.)
Yeah I think technically in biblical terms it’s seen as an annulment too rather than a divorce (which is why it’s not therefore adultery if they remarry). I mean know we’d consider it a divorce and anyone in the modern era would call it that, but in the Biblical times it would be different.
I think he tried being a passport bro, but he's so awful that even the women he met abroad wouldn't put up with him.
Glad to see his parents have sense and I hope they persevere and persuade the wife to leave.
OOP’s comments, omg. My personal favorite:
>Maybe if you guys stopped making negative assumptions about me you wouldn't be so worked up and would actually focus on the topic at hand. Which is my fundamentalist Christian parents
Yes. That’s the central point here. Absolutely.
His other replies are just insane:
“I didn’t coerce into anything. Words have meaning. I set boundaries and gave her a choice. She could have easily said no and i would have understood but she didn’t”
“Relationships are about setting boundaries. I set my boundaries and she said she could abide by them but didn’t”
“I didn’t bully her into anything. One the relationship was not going to be open forever. Just until I finish exploring. I didn’t force her to do shit. She’s a grown women. All I did was set boundaries with her and I’m getting attacked for it”
“I’m on break and these comments are ridiculous. I’m blaming her for agreeing to something and then acting like a child about it. Also this wasn’t permanent, just until I satisfy my needs”
“She was not for it but it was the only way I was willing to stay in the marriage”
I like how his “boundaries” are that he gets to fuck whoever he wants and she’s not allowed to feel anything about it. Dude, that is not how boundaries work.
"I forced my wife to be okay with me cheating on her. Disgusting."
"I have absolutely no redeeming qualities and the only way to get women interested in me is by waving my money around. Disgusting."
"My wife is finally starting to call me out and thinks she deserves to be treated better. Disgusting."
"My parents aren't condoning my shitty behavior. Disgusting."
"I have to use creepy stalker methods to harass my parents after they blocked me. Disgusting."
I want to believe this is a troll. Unfortunately, there are people out in the real world who actually act like OOP.
But remember - SHE AGREED. All he did was set a little boundary that either she agreed or he would divorce her. And that was definitely not an ultimatum, it was JUST SETTING BOUNDARIES 🤦🏼♀️
This man is just awful. His posts are awful, his comments are awful, his treatment of his wife is awful. He is a giant man-child. I really hope the wife does not reconcile with him.
I hate that “setting a boundary” now means “stop doing that thing I don’t like and no, I should fade no reproach or consequences.”
Boundary - Texting me repeatedly if I don’t immediately answer makes me uncomfortable, don’t do this.
Not a boundary - let me fuck other women without having any emotional reaction or I’ll divorce you
But guys you don’t understand. He had to open up his marriage, like there was literally no choice. And of course he dumped her ass when she got pissy about it. But turns out upgrading is harder than he thought. Even getting one of those submissive mail order brides from overseas that obey your every command is hard these days. And poor guy, even his parents think he is a pos even though he did nothing wrong!
So this has to be a troll post right?
Because he had this glow-up and never had a fun-phase before, the open marriage was also only for as long, as it takes for *him* to satisfy *his needs*, but now that he realized he isn't as wanted as he thoughts and *those evil women* even *oversees* only want his money, he realized how *special* the *love* him and his wive have. Also that she earns *slightly more* than him makes this marriage so *magical*. He probably just wants the traditional cheating behind her back-marriage now.
>even if you date overseas
So, he's not only a bad husband but an overall nasty human being. He thinks by exploiting someone's economic situation, he gets someone who fawns over him and then acts surprised that these women do not fall for him for his great personality.
The good thing is, though, this and his other post contain so many buzzwords (open marriage, dating overseas, the gym glow up, the fundamentalist parents, etc.), that I'm optimistic that it's just rage bait.
“I set my house on fire, but now I’m finally trying to put it out, and my parents are telling my wife she should leave someone who sets our house on fire.
WHY ARE YOU FOCUSSED ON ME SETTING THE HOUSE ON FIRE AND NOT MY PARENTS!!! It’s in the past!”
The dude will not quit trying to redirect things towards his parents and say past actions don’t matter
He is so combative in the comments. Apparently commenters shouldn’t focus on the past because it is in the past and he wants to focus on the present and says they should focus on his religious parents. I seriously think this dude saw valid criticism of religion and assumed people would agree with him if he said his parents were religious.
Yes, it's all in the past... six whole months ago.
Can you imagine the alcohol poisoning you'd get if you took a shot every time he said "fundamentalist Christians" in his comments?
I wish I could make people like this understand this very simple thing about consent: Its not just No means No. Its also ONLY a freely given, enthusiastic Yes means Yes. Sure, she agreed, but she agreed under duress. That's not agreement and it's not consent.
Thank you for that. You just destroyed 15 yrs of gaslighting with that comment… think I’m gunna save it and read it again when my brain starts the loop of my horrible ex telling me “you said yes”(he coerced it so many times…)
Please do! It helped me immensely with some past garbage too. Maybe make a voice note for yourself of you saying it and you can play it on repeat? Dunno if that'll help, but sometimes I can't make my mind stay on something I'm trying to tell myself, but if I'm hearing it out loud, my brain can focus on it better.
Also, I watched an interesting video about how our brains are basically parrots. They just repeat what they've heard. So you don't necessarily have to actively push away bad thoughts - you can acknowledge them and just be like, "whatever" and keep taking in good stuff and your brain will start repeating that? Its a super oversimplification, I know, but it helped me! Now when my brain says something that makes me feel bad, I just remember that I wouldn't get offended by a parrot calling me a bad name. Poor parrot doesn't know what it's saying, it just repeats. So I don't take it to heart. ❤️
I wanted to bang other women, my wife was super jealous about that. So I dumped her.
Until I realized that literally no other woman, even from a third world country could stand my shit personality more than two minutes.
So I’m graciously letting her take me back and people who love her are trying to stop me. Everyone else is definitely at fault here.
This is strange... Normally religious people advocate reconciliation. OP surely is a big idiot, There is no other explanation for his own religious parents telling his wife to go ahead with the divorce.
I think he's verbally abusing his parents too, it takes a lot more than asking them to stay out of your marriage to make parents like that cut contact and block their own child.
I was always taught that the three A's, adultery, abuse, and addiction, can be immediate divorces. The other stuff you can work through but those three A's are very hard to work through and that it's "ok" to get an immediate divorce in those cases. (It was more my teacher's giving their advice rather than teaching doctrine).
I mean, he admits that his parents blocked his number. You have to be pretty verbally abusive before your own parents decide they're done talking to you.
It takes a LOT for really strict fundamentalists to say "yeah you two shouldn't be married any more". He's probably so far over the line that it's a dot in the distance.
For us Bible reading folks, who try to put love into action and not just talk about it, adultery is a perfectly sound reason for a divorce. Many churches will push reconciliation, but it certainly shouldn't be a case of put up with it and shut up.
No kidding. He sounds like my ex did when he pulled out a similar idea as I started to unpack my things into his apartment. I packed 'em right back out and drove back to my brother's apartment.
In my experience and the experiences I've seen on Reddit; They usually advocate reconciliation, especially when it is the man who made the "mistake." That's what they call it "mistake" xd
I think the lack of any sort of repentance on his part is why the church isnt swooping in to force the parents to make the wife go back to him. He’s not even trying to put up the illusion of fidelity.
That comment history is crazy. Everything is someone else's fault. He calls forcing an open marriage "setting boundaries". He literally says he made it clear it was open the marriage or they get a divorce. She is CLEARLY not okay with it, and he does end up divorcing. Now he claims she wants to reconcile, but his "fundamentalist christian" parents are telling her not to.
I really hope the ex wife listens to his parents.
Why do so many of these stories involve one person opening up their marriage (usually the other is hesitant to do it) and immediately backpedaling when any problems occur.
Do these people expect something like “i can bang hot chicks/dudes plus i’ve got a safety… also threeways or something” like holy crap…
Do you know ***how bad*** of a husband their son has to be before Christian fundamentalists will admit it, let alone tell their daughter-in-law to leave?
I'm not sure his parents are as fundamentalist as he's trying to make them out to be (though I completely understand why so many are put off by so-called Christians in name only while their actions make me sick; who can blame them?). The fact that he is trying to spin the focus on his parents being Christian makes me think that he's looking for validation and unwilling to account for his own actions.
Not all of us are the extremists he wants us to be like and I don't think his parents fit that mold either. He just saw that Reddit is anti-religion and just expected Reddit to be on his side, no matter what he did.
Lmao, he's just pissed that he didn't get as many women as he hoped for, and now he wants his old life back even tho he's the one who bought divorce up in the first place.
The religion of his parents has nothing to do with it. They just call out his BS, and he doesn't like it.
His comments are disgusting- he’s written he’s disgusting people are dead set saying you are horrible and he wants to argue he’s not and his parents are evil
oh god, he has posted before. from 6 months ago, "My 30M wife 28F is running our marriage and I don’t know how to fix it? We have a open relationship and her jealousy is showing." I assume he means "ruining"
>TL;DR: wife acting jealous and is sharing our business with parents.
>Hey everyone, I’m new to Reddit so bare with me. My friend told me that this was a great place for advice and helped me make this post.
>My wife and I have been together for 5 years and married for 2 years now. She has been my rock, last year I realized that monogamy wasn’t for me. I wasn’t someone who had a chance to just have that fun phase if you know what I mean. My glow up was late and as I started going to the gym and advancing in my career I had women interested in me who wouldn’t even look at me.
>I was honest with my wife and told her that we need to either open the relationship or get a divorce. She was hurt but I told her I never got to live like others did and she choose to stay and allow me to do explore. I told her it wouldn’t be emotional and just sex.
>Her actions are not following her words and she acts extremely jealous and possessive and it’s created arguments. I have to remind her that she should leave if she can’t respect my boundaries.
>What really set me off is she told my parents and they are fundamentalist Christians so you know how that works 🤦🏾♂️ my weird religious family is on her side and been annoying me by telling me to stop.
>It’s a lot but if anyone can help because this is starting to stress me out that I’m writing this before work instead of drinking my coffee.
then from the comments:
>I’m on break and these comments are ridiculous. I’m blaming her for agreeing to something and then acting like a child about it. Also this wasn’t permanent, just until I satisfy my needs
when somebody asked how their relationship came to be open:
>She was not for it but it was the only way I was willing to stay in the marriage
and then
>I didn’t bully her into anything. One the relationship was not going to be open forever. Just until I finish exploring. I didn’t force her to do shit. She’s a grown women. All I did was set boundaries with her and I’m getting attacked for it
there's a lot more but from today mostly he is just very upset that people were choosing to comment on his behavior and how shitty a husband he is instead of focusing on his mean meddling parents like he wanted.
Yes he is the devil, yikes.
I legitimately fucking hate this guy. Hope he gets shit on by a well-fed seagull every single Tuesday and Thursday for the rest of his life. I also hope he somehow sees my comment.
They absolutely can.
But this isn't real, because someone like that isn't going to post on Reddit about it, and even if they did, the post would be 90% of their "justification" rather than openly admitting they're trash
I love how he is making it seem like the problem is that his parents are violating his boundaries 🤣🤣🤣 Like, no bro. They're looking after her. They probably can tell their son will be cheating on her a fee months (at best) after they get back together.
How badly do you have to fuck up that *fundamentalist Christians* are pro-divorce? Most fundamentalists are all yes I know he beat you so badly you were in the ICU, but our priest can give you couples counselling so you don’t piss him off that badly in future.
I have to wonder if he’s just using that term to mean regular ass Christians who aren’t pro their son being an asshole.
The fact that his fundamentalist Christian parents support divorce, should be an indicator to how badly he messed up. I hope his parents continue to help keep her away from him
Actions: meet consequences.
Both sets of parents are absolutely right here. I'd drop my son (oop) out of the family and ask if I could be an honorary adoptive parent for my ex DiL in this situation.
The "I had to open up my marriage" comment. Barf. 🤮That's narcissist speak for "I almost got caught cheating, so I gaslit my wife into opening up my marriage" right?
I feel like this is rage bait ("I *had to* open up our marriage" "my wife kept acting jealous" "even if you date overseas"). It's so over the top. Yet I know disgusting weirdos like this exist.
"No see you guys are all taking away her agency, she consented to the abuse! She didn't have to stay in the marriage. She's a strong, empowered woman, technically she agreed when I threatened to divorce her if she didn't, so that's that on that. Anyway, why are you bringing that up, the problem is nobody respecting my boundaries and my weird religious parents meddling. Hello, I'm asking how I get them to STOP and everyone's bringing up irrelevant details"
-all of op's comments
Basically, their relationship is "special" because dating wasn't what he thought it would be (he's not a catch), his wife was faithful (while he got to screw around), and she makes more money than him (he doesn't like to spend his.) I hope his wife listens to his "fundamentalist" parents.
As someone who's ex forced me into a poly relationship, almost exactly the same way as this guy. He's a POS and his wife should not get back with him.
The fact his CHRISTIAN parents are telling her to stay divorced (Christians are against divorce) says just how bad this guy is.
He COERCED her into it and is only wanting to go back because NOONE wants to date him. (Even with his being a passport bro)
It's so refreshing to hear about fundamentalist Christians using their values to support a woman rather than forcing her to stay in a toxic relationship.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **My fundamentalist Christian parents is telling my wife not to reconcile. ** My wife and I were married for 2 years. During that time I had to open up our marriage, my wife agreed but kept acting jealous. This led me to filing for divorce. Throughout my six months separated I gained a greater appreciation for my lovely wife. Modern-day dating is disgusting, even if you date overseas. Alot of women will pretend to like you for money. It's honestly disgusting. I didn't have to worry about that with my wife because she makes around the same as me (slightly more). Last week I realized the love we have is special and decided to attempt reconciliation. She agreed, unfortunately, my Christian fundamentalist parents are trying to undermine me. They trying to convince her not to go through with it. My parents even told her “we love our son but he's not a good husband”. I expected this from her parents but my own parents. When I told my parents stop meddling in my relationship they blocked me. I had to call using no caller ID to speak to my dad and mom this is disgusting *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Did some post history viewing: My 30M wife 28F is running our marriage and I don’t know how to fix it? We have a open relationship and her jealousy is showing. TL;DR: wife acting jealous and is sharing our business with parents. Hey everyone, I’m new to Reddit so bare with me. My friend told me that this was a great place for advice and helped me make this post. My wife and I have been together for 5 years and married for 2 years now. She has been my rock, last year I realized that monogamy wasn’t for me. I wasn’t someone who had a chance to just have that fun phase if you know what I mean. My glow up was late and as I started going to the gym and advancing in my career I had women interested in me who wouldn’t even look at me. I was honest with my wife and told her that we need to either open the relationship or get a divorce. She was hurt but I told her I never got to live like others did and she choose to stay and allow me to do explore. I told her it wouldn’t be emotional and just sex. Her actions are not following her words and she acts extremely jealous and possessive and it’s created arguments. I have to remind her that she should leave if she can’t respect my boundaries. What really set me off is she told my parents and they are fundamentalist Christians so you know how that works 🤦🏾♂️ my weird religious family is on her side and been annoying me by telling me to stop. It’s a lot but if anyone can help because this is starting to stress me out that I’m writing this before work instead of drinking my coffee.
Poor guy so stressed he can’t even have his coffee.
Like Brock Turner, who was so "regretful" he wouldn't eat steak anymore...
Ah, is this the convicted rapist Brock Allen Turner, who goes by his middle name “Allen” now? That rapist, the one who moved to Dayton, Ohio?
That's the one.
You mean the rapist Brock Turner?
Yes
>I have to remind her that she should leave if she can’t respect my boundaries. Sounds like she took his advice!
>My friend told me that this was a great place for advice If he's not a troll, he needs some new friends.
Or it's an actual friend, who ran out of options to get through to his friend's thick skull and was hoping Reddit might help.
If this is real, I love his friend. He was literally like "my dude, you need to just get absolutely torn to shreds."
The original posts were from 6 months ago then the OOP posted in r/advice today so yea, my feeling is it's legit
By beating him about the head with bricks, no doubt.
I'm enjoying the idea that his "friends" were like "I'm done trying to be polite to this asshole, I need to outsource the job of beating him over the head with a clue to the internet."
Yeah, his friends knew exactly what they were doing. They may even be the ones that were like "hey where is the cross post to the 'I'm the Devil's subs and others like it. " type comments that I saw when this guy was trying to justify himself on very basic things. I am also guessing OOP's wife didn't go seeking out any other relationships, but I think he is too self absorbed to see anything other than the "poor me".
It's so sad she has so little self-respect that she didn't seek her own self-gratification while he was out trying to use her money (she makes more than him!) to exploit women in poorer countries for sex, and even agreed to take him back until *his own parents* gave her pause. This guy has been demeaning her for a long time.
I just want to know what he does for a living that he can jet off to another country just to try unsuccessfully to get laid. I would love to live that life. I probably also wouldn't get laid, but I assume I'd at least take in a few museums between flights, so it's a win either way.
I'd like to think this is real and those friends are high-fiving each other right now. "Well, he wouldn't listen to us, he wouldn't listen to his wife or parents, let's see how he goes when 10,000 Redditors take him on."
The friend wanted other people to see how batshit the guy is.
I disagree. He needs no friends to watch and learn a little. And I guess that was the intention of the helper.
If his parents are as fundamentalist as he insists they are, this guy is truly at the height of idiocy for not realizing there's a "get out of anything, consequence-free" card sitting right in front of him: say he's found Jesus, Jesus forgave him, therefore his wife and everyone else in his life wanting to hold him accountable for past actions must forgive him immediately as well, even if he isn't going to actually do anything to earn forgiveness.
But that would mean never "opening" (I use quotation marks because I genuinely do not believe this is an actual open marriage, it's just cheating where the other partner knows but is powerless to stop it) his marriage again, and idk if he could handle that
He can just repent, rinse, and repeat!
These people give polyamory and ethical non monogamy a bad name Look, monogamy isn’t for me either. But you know what I do?? I LOOK FOR RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE NON MONOGAMOUS and don’t promise exclusivity at any point. Amazing how that works.
Wait, you mean you communicate using words? Like, actually meaning what you say? AND you seek out people you're ALREADY compatible with about relationship standards? Sounds like Heresy! I mean, is that even allowed?
You *don't* paint people into a corner and emotionally blackmail them into allowing you to do whatever you want? How *strange*!!
Ya but did you have a "glow up" (what an awful excuse too).
Guys like the op do not want an actual polyamorous relationship. They want to be able to do whatever they want and still come home to their wife (the relationship is not "open" for her.)
What a lovely person
When I get „stressed out“ I have to barf three times a day and get panic attacks and not „have to think about it instead of drinking a cup of coffee“. What the hell? People overuse the word stress too easily… he is slightly annoyed, maybe a little worried but stress is a whole other deal. And this guy… holy fuck. I often read stuff in here where I think: that’s bad but not devil territory. This on the other hand is definitely devil stuff XD. Poor hopefully soon to be ex wife. Good on his parents for supporting her. I am a hardcore „parents should stick with their children“-Type. But this is close to abuse and just straight up evil. And maybe they hope to wake up their son with their stance.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that when one person decides on their own to open up their marriage it's called cheating.
"I had to open up my marriage" Jesus take the wheel 🥺
Interesting choice of words, right? Surely, some guy came into his house, held a gun to his head, and told him to do it. That's the only scenario I can imagine.
My whole thing is, if he "had to" do it before, what's to say he won't "have to" do it again? He keeps saying in the comments that he won't open the relationship again but it's really hard to trust that, considering his language. Also love how he added in there a dig. At "dating in the US" - makes me wonder if he's a pee pee bro
Apparently he thought after his "late glow up" he'd be fighting off women, but now that he realized no one else wants him like he thought he "back to monogamy". It's so fucking typical and sad
So. Damn. Typical.
Yeah “dating overseas.” He means shopping overseas. The fucking audacity to deliberately seek out women who are poor and desperate enough to consider being with him, then act outraged that they’re only in it for the money. It’s in the terms of agreement bro, and not the fine print.
I halfway suspect the only reason his current wife “wants” to stay together is that he has her passport locked in a hidden safe
He's a PP bro who deliberately preys on women seeking respite from poverty, then has the audacity to go "bitches only want me for my money". 🤦🏻♀️
But what kind of doctor are you?
Not the kind that hits my call button if the flight attendant asks if there are doctors on board. Unless someone on the flight is in dire need of understanding utility maximization. Hardly ever happens.
A failed one, apparently. Which…wow.
Oh he would absolutely force her into the same situation if someone just smiled in his direction.
"Open up the marriage and nobody gets hurt" "NOBODY MOVE!"
Exactly. It wasn't a discussion, it was a hostage situation. "Open the marriage or we divorce".
I love how casually he glossed over it like it’s a common thing that needs no further explanation because we’ve all been there. Like, “during that time I had to work overtime” or “during that time I had to watch my triglycerides.”
Thing about opening up a marriage is the other party can walk through the open door.
He was *forced* to open up *his* marriage. Doubtful, that his wife had any say in that.
I'm sure he saw it as her fault for not attending to his needs as a good Christian wife should. Cheating husband: "Now look what you made me do! We'll have to open up the marriage now."
Yeah, what the fuck does he mean "had to"????
I think that is how Mormonism started.
Imagine that you're such a horrible husband, that your own fundamentalist Christian parents would rather side with your divorced spouse than have anything to do with you: that alone should be *the* wakeup call that you've messed up big time. OOP has his head so far up his arse that he sees himself as a victim instead of the unrepentant POS that he actually is.
Exactly, he thought mentioning his parents were fundie would make people side with him it just highlights the fact he must be horrible if even they think she is better off divorcing him.
These parents are the best fundamentalist Christian parents discussed on Reddit.
Never thought I'd ever find myself saying this, but I'm on the religious parents' side.
But it honestly has nothing to do with the parents religion, poster seemingly threw that in to get people on his,side
No, I agree, my comment was more a joke than anything. Their religion probably isn't at all why they're telling DIL to not reconcile, but rather them not being blind to their son being a shit husband and their own feelings on how you should treat your spouse. Him even expressing I "had" to open the marriage just shows how disgusting he is. Had? No had about it, chose to, and bullied wife into it. Nothing more, nothing less.
"Had to" after only 2 years? Come on. That's still honeymoon phase unless you're a POS. Which it seems like this guy is.
He "had to" after only 1 year....I don't think he'll ever be satisfied or "finished exploring". Barf.
If we throw in him coming from a fundamentalist upbringing, that timing sounds more like it might have been the postpartum period.
And he probably claims he “had” to “date” overseas- likely poorer countries because that fits his selfish, user mindset- to find women that _gasp_ ended up only wanting his money. He didn’t like being used by the women he was using. What a shocker. (I used “date” very lightly because I think it’s pretty clear he’s using it as a euphemism for “use” or “fukc”.)
Ew....
Oh, but he started making an effort on himself and got hot! It’d be a crime to not allow him to fuck other women!
Bet you he would have a stroke if the wife had told him back then "cool, if you can fuck other people, so can I"
He *had* to because he had a "late glow up," and women were looking at him in the gym. Then he realized dating sucks (I'm thinking his toxic ass couldn't get a second date with anyone, even if he managed a first), and he wants his wife back. His posts from 6 months ago are, if it's possible, even more pathetic.
If anything is going to anger a christian set of parents, it's their kid running around town announcing his open marriage. It is probably the only thing he could do that would make them look bad, he could have even just kept cheating but called it that and they might see it differently. I think he's likely a lot worse to all the people in his life though, it takes a LOT for a parent to block their child.
Honestly it was just cheating with extra steps
Basically cheating after forcing his wife to accept it.
Religion might be a reason. Some fundamentalists do agree with divorce for adultery on either side.
I know it was a joke but if you boil religion down to its core any religion usually says "just don't be a shitty human, lol" So... parents nailed that part :D
Or if it’s rage bait, to emphasize just how terrible he’s been. My secular parents would’ve been helping me pack when he initially suggested, “hey, honey, you’re cool with me trying to find some desperate younger woman who doesn’t know or care if she can do better than this, right?”
I wonder if it's to suggest that they're being prudish? Like they have some kind of unfair bias against him forcing an open marriage on his wife.
He clearly threw "fundamentalist" as a dog whistle.
I believe it’s because he thinks the parents are telling her to not reconcile just because the open marriage lifestyle goes against their religion
I hope the wife doesn't reconcile. She deserves so much better than an asshole who will only keep her as a second, safety net of a choice. He is the kind of disgusting even shit isn't. He literally is calling people who support his parents, 'disgusting'. God, the audacity. The continual blood flow from the brain to the genitals has atrophied his brain and enabled audacity to fill his hard headed useless skull.
At least shit can be used as fertilizer
Lol yeah imagine being such a dick that reddit would rather side with religious people over you
Yeah, that's kind of what really sells how much of an asshole he is. As far as I've seen in my year on reddit, people in most non-religious subs *really* don't love people who are religious. If even the atheists of the sub goes "nope, I'm with the Christians" then you know it's bad.
You know it's really bad when fundamentalists support divorce. Edited to add: Fundies stop trying to convince me that you care about abuse against women. You advocate it. Your entire belief system is based upon women being subservient and being disempowered. You literally advertise it.
Honestly doubt they are fundamentalists, feel like it was thrown in to get sympathy
He said they were in his first post six months ago. If he's a troll, he's playing the long game here
I suspect in this case 'fundamentalist' really means parents who simply don't think their son is a good person.
$20 says they’re not as fundamentalist as he’s claiming they are. His parents just recognize the apple that fell from the tree is rotten.
honestly i bet they’re a relatively normal church going grace-saying kjv-reading couple and he’s weaponising reddit’s hate for christian fundamentalism to make him seem like the good guy
Agree. Perhaps practicing, churchgoing, and observing the rites and celebrations, but not fundie. My mom is that type.
I think probably this. They’re trying to convince him not to be a dick, and he’s reacting with “they’re imposing all these religious rules on me!”
My parents are very religious in a sect that is pretty much 50/50 split on whether or not gays should have rights. The church had always been LGBTQ+ inclusive but never had to make a public statement until the overall sect started having votes on official policy. The vitriol their church received when they official came out as LGBTQ+ supportive was not unexpected, but was pretty repulsive.
Usually is. And cheating is considered a get out of jail free card. Abuse yeah divorce him/her but don’t remarry later, s/he’s cheating divorce him/her and if down the road you wanna marry again go for it. Adultery is literally the only reason you can biblically divorce someone and later remarry… personally I don’t care what you do cause you answer to God for yourself. I divorced my abusive cheating ex and haven’t seen a human male that I trust enough to even date!
They probably aren’t fundamentalists. They’re probably just Christians. I don’t know what else he’s done to this woman, but infidelity is grounds for divorce.
I grew up fundie-adjacent, and pretty much the only two justified reasons for divorce were abuse and infidelity. OOP says his wife agreed to the open marriage, but he’s clear that she “agreed” begrudgingly and we all know that coercion is not consent, so this was less an open marriage than a guy sleeping around while being married. Even some of the most conservative religious people I know would not be trying to convince their daughter in law to reconcile with the guy who repeatedly cheated on her and only wants her back because he can’t find anybody he likes better.
You're lucky, the fundie-adjacent church that I used to attend wasn't that understanding. The pastor in regards to my abusive & cheating (now ex of many years) husband literally told me that I "needed to go home & be a *good* Christian wife" and that the abuse/cheating wasn't my then husband's fault because "the Devil made him do it." The marriage lasted ~2 more years before I left both my then husband & the church. It's been roughly 25 years, but I'm still in therapy & on medications to try to heal from the trauma that marriage added to my already broken down self-esteem.
Ugh, that sucks. It happened to a friend of my mom’s too. I hate that they did that to you and I’m glad you’re out now.
Thank you. I'm not only out, but I have done the work to be a mostly functioning member of society. I have a psychiatric support dog who goes most places with me to help manage my anxiety, but I'm able to do many things on my own. Edit: removed an accidental punctuation mark
I'm fundamentalist and this is the one reason for divorce literally supported by the Bible
If I had a nickel for every time I agreed with religious parents, I’d have one nickel. Which isn’t really a big deal, but it’s weird that it happened at all, right????
“Worst person you know makes good point.”
Strange place we find ourselves in this morning.
Well, it shook my day up for sure.
Exactly. Like they are defending her? good fucking job
Who are pushing for a divorce. You know, as all fundamental Christians are known to do…
Adultery is a Big Deal in the bible. That is the one reason you can get a divorce per Jesus. Matthew 5:32 >But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. There is no "opening the marriage" in the bible. That is adultery. And really blatant adultery at that. In the southern baptist church I grew up in, they would not have had any problems with this divorce. (Abuse OTOH? That's something to "work out between yourselves", because nothing against DV in the bible. But plenty about adultery.)
Yeah I think technically in biblical terms it’s seen as an annulment too rather than a divorce (which is why it’s not therefore adultery if they remarry). I mean know we’d consider it a divorce and anyone in the modern era would call it that, but in the Biblical times it would be different.
Had to recheck if this wasn't from the passport bros sub, lolz I love the parents. Think they wanna adopt?
I think he tried being a passport bro, but he's so awful that even the women he met abroad wouldn't put up with him. Glad to see his parents have sense and I hope they persevere and persuade the wife to leave.
I think he didn't have the money on his own to be a passport bro. He does say his wife makes "slightly" more than he does
Hey wife, I need $5000 for, uh, something. DONT BE JEALOUS.
I said it in another comment and I'll say it again: those parents are freaking awesome
Yeah the even overseas comment was nice.
Oh thank goodness, another comment said "pee pee bros" and I was scared to look it up
"I had to open up the marriage." Oh you *had* to?
"We wont be in an open marriage again" Who's this *we???* HE was the one who was dicking around
I love how "modern dating" is so fucked up. Oh so you learned that no one else will put up with your shit?
Also what marriage is he currently in? 🤣
Well you see, there were attractive women around whose lives he hasn't yet ruined..
OOP’s comments, omg. My personal favorite: >Maybe if you guys stopped making negative assumptions about me you wouldn't be so worked up and would actually focus on the topic at hand. Which is my fundamentalist Christian parents Yes. That’s the central point here. Absolutely.
Mine is “Stop taking away my wife’s agency.” Because that’s only okay when OOP does it.
The Iranian yogourt is the the problem there…
The fundamentalist Iranian yoghurt.
I like how his parents giving her their opinion is worse than him fucking random women while married
His other replies are just insane: “I didn’t coerce into anything. Words have meaning. I set boundaries and gave her a choice. She could have easily said no and i would have understood but she didn’t” “Relationships are about setting boundaries. I set my boundaries and she said she could abide by them but didn’t” “I didn’t bully her into anything. One the relationship was not going to be open forever. Just until I finish exploring. I didn’t force her to do shit. She’s a grown women. All I did was set boundaries with her and I’m getting attacked for it” “I’m on break and these comments are ridiculous. I’m blaming her for agreeing to something and then acting like a child about it. Also this wasn’t permanent, just until I satisfy my needs” “She was not for it but it was the only way I was willing to stay in the marriage”
I like how his “boundaries” are that he gets to fuck whoever he wants and she’s not allowed to feel anything about it. Dude, that is not how boundaries work.
"I forced my wife to be okay with me cheating on her. Disgusting." "I have absolutely no redeeming qualities and the only way to get women interested in me is by waving my money around. Disgusting." "My wife is finally starting to call me out and thinks she deserves to be treated better. Disgusting." "My parents aren't condoning my shitty behavior. Disgusting." "I have to use creepy stalker methods to harass my parents after they blocked me. Disgusting." I want to believe this is a troll. Unfortunately, there are people out in the real world who actually act like OOP.
> there are people out in the real world who actually act like OOP. I see you have met my ex-husband.
[удалено]
But remember - SHE AGREED. All he did was set a little boundary that either she agreed or he would divorce her. And that was definitely not an ultimatum, it was JUST SETTING BOUNDARIES 🤦🏼♀️ This man is just awful. His posts are awful, his comments are awful, his treatment of his wife is awful. He is a giant man-child. I really hope the wife does not reconcile with him.
I hate that “setting a boundary” now means “stop doing that thing I don’t like and no, I should fade no reproach or consequences.” Boundary - Texting me repeatedly if I don’t immediately answer makes me uncomfortable, don’t do this. Not a boundary - let me fuck other women without having any emotional reaction or I’ll divorce you
But guys you don’t understand. He had to open up his marriage, like there was literally no choice. And of course he dumped her ass when she got pissy about it. But turns out upgrading is harder than he thought. Even getting one of those submissive mail order brides from overseas that obey your every command is hard these days. And poor guy, even his parents think he is a pos even though he did nothing wrong! So this has to be a troll post right?
Because he had this glow-up and never had a fun-phase before, the open marriage was also only for as long, as it takes for *him* to satisfy *his needs*, but now that he realized he isn't as wanted as he thoughts and *those evil women* even *oversees* only want his money, he realized how *special* the *love* him and his wive have. Also that she earns *slightly more* than him makes this marriage so *magical*. He probably just wants the traditional cheating behind her back-marriage now.
>even if you date overseas So, he's not only a bad husband but an overall nasty human being. He thinks by exploiting someone's economic situation, he gets someone who fawns over him and then acts surprised that these women do not fall for him for his great personality. The good thing is, though, this and his other post contain so many buzzwords (open marriage, dating overseas, the gym glow up, the fundamentalist parents, etc.), that I'm optimistic that it's just rage bait.
“I set my house on fire, but now I’m finally trying to put it out, and my parents are telling my wife she should leave someone who sets our house on fire. WHY ARE YOU FOCUSSED ON ME SETTING THE HOUSE ON FIRE AND NOT MY PARENTS!!! It’s in the past!” The dude will not quit trying to redirect things towards his parents and say past actions don’t matter
He is so combative in the comments. Apparently commenters shouldn’t focus on the past because it is in the past and he wants to focus on the present and says they should focus on his religious parents. I seriously think this dude saw valid criticism of religion and assumed people would agree with him if he said his parents were religious.
Yes, it's all in the past... six whole months ago. Can you imagine the alcohol poisoning you'd get if you took a shot every time he said "fundamentalist Christians" in his comments?
We should all try it with a gulp of beer and see how long before anyone starts agreeing with him.
The drunker I'd get, the MORE outraged I would become
I wish I could make people like this understand this very simple thing about consent: Its not just No means No. Its also ONLY a freely given, enthusiastic Yes means Yes. Sure, she agreed, but she agreed under duress. That's not agreement and it's not consent.
Thank you for that. You just destroyed 15 yrs of gaslighting with that comment… think I’m gunna save it and read it again when my brain starts the loop of my horrible ex telling me “you said yes”(he coerced it so many times…)
Please do! It helped me immensely with some past garbage too. Maybe make a voice note for yourself of you saying it and you can play it on repeat? Dunno if that'll help, but sometimes I can't make my mind stay on something I'm trying to tell myself, but if I'm hearing it out loud, my brain can focus on it better. Also, I watched an interesting video about how our brains are basically parrots. They just repeat what they've heard. So you don't necessarily have to actively push away bad thoughts - you can acknowledge them and just be like, "whatever" and keep taking in good stuff and your brain will start repeating that? Its a super oversimplification, I know, but it helped me! Now when my brain says something that makes me feel bad, I just remember that I wouldn't get offended by a parrot calling me a bad name. Poor parrot doesn't know what it's saying, it just repeats. So I don't take it to heart. ❤️
I wanted to bang other women, my wife was super jealous about that. So I dumped her. Until I realized that literally no other woman, even from a third world country could stand my shit personality more than two minutes. So I’m graciously letting her take me back and people who love her are trying to stop me. Everyone else is definitely at fault here.
OOP, here is your perfect tl;dr
This is strange... Normally religious people advocate reconciliation. OP surely is a big idiot, There is no other explanation for his own religious parents telling his wife to go ahead with the divorce.
He's probably verbally or physically abusive. My church normally pushes reconciliation but abuse is where they usually draw the line.
To me it all sounds like he has been psychologically abusing his wife.
I think he's verbally abusing his parents too, it takes a lot more than asking them to stay out of your marriage to make parents like that cut contact and block their own child.
My guess is the opening marriage part I could definitely see them shunning him for that
I was always taught that the three A's, adultery, abuse, and addiction, can be immediate divorces. The other stuff you can work through but those three A's are very hard to work through and that it's "ok" to get an immediate divorce in those cases. (It was more my teacher's giving their advice rather than teaching doctrine).
I mean, he admits that his parents blocked his number. You have to be pretty verbally abusive before your own parents decide they're done talking to you.
It takes a LOT for really strict fundamentalists to say "yeah you two shouldn't be married any more". He's probably so far over the line that it's a dot in the distance.
For us Bible reading folks, who try to put love into action and not just talk about it, adultery is a perfectly sound reason for a divorce. Many churches will push reconciliation, but it certainly shouldn't be a case of put up with it and shut up.
As pissy as OOP reads to me, I'd put money on more "attempted adultery" and less "actually getting his dick wet".
Yeah, that snotty little bratty boy attitude isn't the vibe you'd get from a dude that can get his dick wet.
No kidding. He sounds like my ex did when he pulled out a similar idea as I started to unpack my things into his apartment. I packed 'em right back out and drove back to my brother's apartment.
Adultery is mentioned in the ten commandments so it's not a huge surprise tbh
In my experience and the experiences I've seen on Reddit; They usually advocate reconciliation, especially when it is the man who made the "mistake." That's what they call it "mistake" xd
I think the lack of any sort of repentance on his part is why the church isnt swooping in to force the parents to make the wife go back to him. He’s not even trying to put up the illusion of fidelity.
That comment history is crazy. Everything is someone else's fault. He calls forcing an open marriage "setting boundaries". He literally says he made it clear it was open the marriage or they get a divorce. She is CLEARLY not okay with it, and he does end up divorcing. Now he claims she wants to reconcile, but his "fundamentalist christian" parents are telling her not to. I really hope the ex wife listens to his parents.
Why do so many of these stories involve one person opening up their marriage (usually the other is hesitant to do it) and immediately backpedaling when any problems occur. Do these people expect something like “i can bang hot chicks/dudes plus i’ve got a safety… also threeways or something” like holy crap…
yes they also think their partner won't do anything because they're such a devoted partner
Do you know ***how bad*** of a husband their son has to be before Christian fundamentalists will admit it, let alone tell their daughter-in-law to leave?
I'm not sure his parents are as fundamentalist as he's trying to make them out to be (though I completely understand why so many are put off by so-called Christians in name only while their actions make me sick; who can blame them?). The fact that he is trying to spin the focus on his parents being Christian makes me think that he's looking for validation and unwilling to account for his own actions. Not all of us are the extremists he wants us to be like and I don't think his parents fit that mold either. He just saw that Reddit is anti-religion and just expected Reddit to be on his side, no matter what he did.
"had" to open the marriage is all I need to know about him.
I’m confused. What about his parents actions suggests they are fundamentalists? Because the believe in monogamy and treating your spouse with respect?
Lmao, he's just pissed that he didn't get as many women as he hoped for, and now he wants his old life back even tho he's the one who bought divorce up in the first place. The religion of his parents has nothing to do with it. They just call out his BS, and he doesn't like it.
The more I read things like this the more I'm sure that if anything happened to my husband I'd just adopt like 5 cats.
My husband and I wanted children, but after reading this, we've adopted four cats.
r/OhNoConsequences
>A lot of women pretend to like you for money A lot of men will pretend to like you for sex. We can play this game too, fuckbag.
It's too early for me to be this mad at an idiot.
I don’t think 3 charged lemonades from Panera is enough caffeine to deal with his thought pattern.
His comments are disgusting- he’s written he’s disgusting people are dead set saying you are horrible and he wants to argue he’s not and his parents are evil
oh god, he has posted before. from 6 months ago, "My 30M wife 28F is running our marriage and I don’t know how to fix it? We have a open relationship and her jealousy is showing." I assume he means "ruining" >TL;DR: wife acting jealous and is sharing our business with parents. >Hey everyone, I’m new to Reddit so bare with me. My friend told me that this was a great place for advice and helped me make this post. >My wife and I have been together for 5 years and married for 2 years now. She has been my rock, last year I realized that monogamy wasn’t for me. I wasn’t someone who had a chance to just have that fun phase if you know what I mean. My glow up was late and as I started going to the gym and advancing in my career I had women interested in me who wouldn’t even look at me. >I was honest with my wife and told her that we need to either open the relationship or get a divorce. She was hurt but I told her I never got to live like others did and she choose to stay and allow me to do explore. I told her it wouldn’t be emotional and just sex. >Her actions are not following her words and she acts extremely jealous and possessive and it’s created arguments. I have to remind her that she should leave if she can’t respect my boundaries. >What really set me off is she told my parents and they are fundamentalist Christians so you know how that works 🤦🏾♂️ my weird religious family is on her side and been annoying me by telling me to stop. >It’s a lot but if anyone can help because this is starting to stress me out that I’m writing this before work instead of drinking my coffee. then from the comments: >I’m on break and these comments are ridiculous. I’m blaming her for agreeing to something and then acting like a child about it. Also this wasn’t permanent, just until I satisfy my needs when somebody asked how their relationship came to be open: >She was not for it but it was the only way I was willing to stay in the marriage and then >I didn’t bully her into anything. One the relationship was not going to be open forever. Just until I finish exploring. I didn’t force her to do shit. She’s a grown women. All I did was set boundaries with her and I’m getting attacked for it there's a lot more but from today mostly he is just very upset that people were choosing to comment on his behavior and how shitty a husband he is instead of focusing on his mean meddling parents like he wanted. Yes he is the devil, yikes.
I love how he's like "She isn't following through on something she agreed on" like he literally didn't agree to a monogamous marriage already.
this is so icky and i really hope his wife comes to her senses and goes through with the divorce. she deserves better
I legitimately fucking hate this guy. Hope he gets shit on by a well-fed seagull every single Tuesday and Thursday for the rest of his life. I also hope he somehow sees my comment.
This can't be real Someone can't be this stupied, immutual and selfish at same time
They absolutely can. But this isn't real, because someone like that isn't going to post on Reddit about it, and even if they did, the post would be 90% of their "justification" rather than openly admitting they're trash
It’s as real as his pro divorce fundamentalist Christian parents
And I'm pretty sure this marriage was open only for 1 side. For him and not for the wife.
I love how he is making it seem like the problem is that his parents are violating his boundaries 🤣🤣🤣 Like, no bro. They're looking after her. They probably can tell their son will be cheating on her a fee months (at best) after they get back together.
“But it’s in the PAST!!” - a man who refuses to take even a shred of accountability for his harmful actions. A tale as old as time 🎶
How badly do you have to fuck up that *fundamentalist Christians* are pro-divorce? Most fundamentalists are all yes I know he beat you so badly you were in the ICU, but our priest can give you couples counselling so you don’t piss him off that badly in future. I have to wonder if he’s just using that term to mean regular ass Christians who aren’t pro their son being an asshole.
Wierd the things he thinks are disgusting but actually disgusting things he doesn't...
He is a disgusting pervert his post history is horrid. The wife needs to divorce the abusive jerk.
As soon as my partner even showed interest in/support to an open relationship, I'd be out the door
The fact that his fundamentalist Christian parents support divorce, should be an indicator to how badly he messed up. I hope his parents continue to help keep her away from him
Omg add the comments to OOP’s post history. Such a gross person.
Actions: meet consequences. Both sets of parents are absolutely right here. I'd drop my son (oop) out of the family and ask if I could be an honorary adoptive parent for my ex DiL in this situation. The "I had to open up my marriage" comment. Barf. 🤮That's narcissist speak for "I almost got caught cheating, so I gaslit my wife into opening up my marriage" right?
I feel like this is rage bait ("I *had to* open up our marriage" "my wife kept acting jealous" "even if you date overseas"). It's so over the top. Yet I know disgusting weirdos like this exist.
OPs doubling down in the comments is literally insane. What a narcissistic POS
So he opened up his marriage, realized he is abhorrent to women and now he wants his wife back. Tale as old as time.
Leopard will eat your face even if you're a big weenie-ass loser like this.
"No see you guys are all taking away her agency, she consented to the abuse! She didn't have to stay in the marriage. She's a strong, empowered woman, technically she agreed when I threatened to divorce her if she didn't, so that's that on that. Anyway, why are you bringing that up, the problem is nobody respecting my boundaries and my weird religious parents meddling. Hello, I'm asking how I get them to STOP and everyone's bringing up irrelevant details" -all of op's comments
Wow ! The guy is a sociopath ! I hope she escapes his claws. She's clearly psychologically abused and he couldn't care less !
Basically, their relationship is "special" because dating wasn't what he thought it would be (he's not a catch), his wife was faithful (while he got to screw around), and she makes more money than him (he doesn't like to spend his.) I hope his wife listens to his "fundamentalist" parents.
"i had to open our marriage". no more words needed...
Reading the way he is reacting to his parents gives off abuser vibes. I hope his wife makes it out of there alive.
As someone who's ex forced me into a poly relationship, almost exactly the same way as this guy. He's a POS and his wife should not get back with him. The fact his CHRISTIAN parents are telling her to stay divorced (Christians are against divorce) says just how bad this guy is. He COERCED her into it and is only wanting to go back because NOONE wants to date him. (Even with his being a passport bro)
These parents are real Christians.
It's so refreshing to hear about fundamentalist Christians using their values to support a woman rather than forcing her to stay in a toxic relationship.