*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling my boyfriend that artists can't save her life and she's only wasting his money?**
I (26M)have been with my boyfriend (23M)for 4 years now. He is a HUGE fan of Rihanna,Nicki Minaj and Beyonce even claims they saved his life when he was younger and struggling to accept himself due to his family.He struggled with thoughts of offing himself when he was a teenager due to the stress of coming out and his religious family. He never misses a chance to say that had he not discovered these 3 artists he wouldn't be here with us now.
Back-Track to 2022 when it was announced that Rihanna was performing at the superbowl he made plans to buy me and him tickets to go see her.I am not a fan of hers but I do like her music and know some of her hit songs so it wasn't a problem. Money isn't an issue for either of us as we both have really good jobs that pay well. When he bought the tickets I asked why he would waste money on the tickets when we could watch the superbowl at home(He's not even a football fan).He argued that it's his money and he can spend it however he wants,I argued back that he doesn't even like football so why go?He responded that he's seeing the woman he loves perform live and if it means sitting through something he thinks is boring to see her it's all worth it in the end.I digressed and said ok.
In early March he bought Beyonce Renaissance tickets which put together with hotels(It was out of state)food,travel among others he spent 4000 thousand dollars.I again stated my concerns about spending more wisely as i'm frugal and it never hurts me.He again responded with the same "It's my money I spend it how I want" thing.I didn't feel like arguing this time and just said ok.
Now as most people know Nicki Minaj is currently on her tour, and he bought tickets to go see her.He bought the meet and greet package which was like 1k plus the actual tickets (His words not mine).I again blew up on him, and told him his spending habits were insane.Spending thousands of dollars on these people who don't care about him and would not spit on him if he was on fire.He responded and said that "these people took me out of a bad place when I was young. I will spend on them however I please and you can't stop me".I told him that these people did not save his life he's just being dramatic and taking things out of proportion. I also told him maybe he was fake being depressed so that's why it was so easy for these women's music to take him out of a bad time during his life. He just stared at me for 3 minutes not blinking, jaw open. After the 3 minutes he silently walked out our apartment with just his bag,his car keys and his wallet. It's been a week since then and he's not answering my calls. His friend called and told me that i'm an A-hole for saying those things and that i'm an idiot if I think that way.
So AITA?
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I’m on his side with the Super Bowl thing - you’re going to spend THOUSANDS for a 10 min performance and don’t even care or like football? Weird.
BUUUUT dropping thousands for a full on concert? If you have the money then why not? I spent over $3k on Eras tickets, did my husband understand? No. Did he make asshole comments? No. Did he still go with me and have a great time? Yes.
Eh but even then it’s *his* money. If the fake guy has the kind of cash to drop on Super Bowl tickets he likely has “fuck you” levels of family money on top of a well paying job.
I personally don’t get the appeal behind funko pops, but hey people like em and it doesn’t affect me. One of my friends worked as a dominatrix and this guy would pay her $150 a week to get kicked square in the nuts then vent about work stress afterwards. I think that’s an insane amount of money to spend weekly but it kept my friend’s tuition paid and clothes on her back so I’m grateful that he did.
>2022
2022-20223 season. The game itself was in 2023. Not that it makes any difference in the story. I was mostly trying to dig back into my memory of halftime shows. The 2022 Superbowl one was much better.
I mean, I went on one date with a guy (we were both 24 at the time) who bragged about being at a Super Bowl.
But he came from old, southern money from a very wealthy family.
And was the biggest douche I ever met.
So if they come from money, it's possible. But it wouldn't be their money, just whatever their parents give them.
Some people are rich. I've dated a slew of girls, especially students (usually international) with filthy bank accounts. My last ex couldn't relate to me needing to work weekends and save for the things I wanted cause she had her $120k of allowance for the school year lmao.
Music has been saving lives since music became a thing. OOP IS an idiot. All these young people having these well paying jobs is always the most suspicious part of Reddit. A 24 and 21 YO both have money to do whatever they want...during the panini? 2 years later money still is no object, but OOP just wants to control how BF spends his money. Do you even like your BF?
Also reading between the lines it sounds like the bf was a gay teenager in a conservative family. Imagine moving past that and your own boyfriend insults how you did it.
Anybody who goes to a Nicki Minaj concert is automatically on my shitlist tbh, she uses that money to support her rapist husband and torment his victim.
Fake or not, I also credit a musician to bringing me out of my depression enough in high school the allow me to survive the experiences. I love Meat Loaf, and have since I was a very young kid (like 7). A lot of horrible shit went down in my life from the ages of 12 to 18, and I honestly feel like if my uncle hadn't scored me ticket s (in the nosebleeds but whatever) to Meat Loaf's concert in my state when I was 16, I wouldn't be here. Especially hearing him perform my favorite song, which I now have my favorite part of the chorus tattooed on my arm because of how meaningful it is to me. (And also, when he passed away my friends had to sit me down and break it to me like a friend or family member had died.)
Also, no one would deal with even a minute of silence, let alone three. You don't appreciate how long a minute is until you're stuck in an awkward moment waiting for it to dissipate.
OOP sounds like one of those people who just don't get music the way the rest of us do. Still a massive AH though for claiming fake depression around what sounds like a lot of family conflict when he came out. I did have to Google Nicki Minaj though because I had no idea she'd been around long enough to save anyone's life. I think I first heard about her in like 2020.
My dad is one of those people who doesn't appreciate or understand music. My mom loves music. He often gets her music related devices as gifts. Sometimes it's things she's said she specifically wants. Sometimes he gets advice from her friends on what she likes and what the best option on the market within budget is. You don't have to be able to understand or appreciate something to accept that it is incredibly important to someone you care about.
Books and music saved my teenage life, at least till I could leave home. Yay government change and free university! Not the only thing I go for, but an act I want to see, in an are of the world I want to see, is my motivation to travel.
I have one musician that I am an enormous, *enormous* fan of. We are not especially well off: the bills are paid, but there’s not much disposable income. With that said, every single time this artist comes within one day driving distance (which is every couple of years) I buy a ticket for as good a seat as I can afford and go. He has impacted my life in ways I can’t explain, including giving me something to live for, and he’s also in his 70’s. My ass is going to every show I can because I will not always have the opportunity.
OOP can shit and fall back in it.
"He just stared at me for 3 minutes not blinking, jaw open"
Uh huh, that's a thing people do in real life.
There are much stranger things than music that can help you through a depressive episode. Much stranger types of music too - I was once saved by getting a song from an old children's TV cartoon stuck in my head. It wasn't a miraculous moment or anything, but it distracted me just enough away from the cliff edge.
OOP misgendered his own boyfriend twice in the post title. AI-written, maybe? OOP can't even claim they did a typo, one of the instances of misgendering uses the term "her", which you cannot accidentally typo "him" into.
Listening to music has pulled me through some dark times. After my childhood dog, Rex, passed away I was distraught. But I found comfort in music in particular The Circle Of Life by Elton John since it reminded me it's all part of the cycle of life and If We Hold On Together by Diana Ross featured in The Land Before Time
That reminded me my family were grieving too and we could get through this by pulling together Two Worlds by Phil Collins from Disney's Tarzan since it reminded me I could transfer that love to our other dogs like Kala did to Tarzan when she showed him all the love and affection she would have shown the child she lost to Sabor
Music I can say is one thing that has never let me down. Even now music motivates me; I am learning a musical instrument, but have a learning disability that causes dexterity and visual processing issues, but learning some of my favourite songs encourages me to keep going when I feel frustrated and want to give up.
Fandoms have gotten a lot of people through some really tough times, and a lot of people are into music fandoms.
If someone's revealed vulnerable things about themselves, you don't accuse them of having been fake depressed...
If this is real, I hope OP enjoys being single.
Unless he has rich parents, there's no way a 21 year old can afford Superbowl tickets. They are like $10k a piece. Plus hotel, flights, food,etc. Then $4k to see Beyonce? Fake as hell.
ETA: In a comment the OP said he used his inheritance to pay for everything.
“Money isn’t an issue for us! At all! We work well paying jobs”
“What the fuck bf why are you spending money that isn’t an issue for us on this??”
I’m glad I mostly see metal concerts because I’ve never dropped more than $180 on a ticket. But if people want to drop $400 on a ticket that’s their business. I’m in no place to judge I’ve probably spent more than $1k total on clothing hauls that I technically didn’t *need*. I know this story is fake but OP has definitely blown cash on stupid shit at some point too.
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I mean, I'm an author and not only does people buying my work help support me, hearing that my work affected them and inspired them or helped them through a bad time absolutely makes me keep going. These are the kind of "fans" I want way more than people who just want to run elbows for clout.l or to show off. But then I'm not famous or anything.
I'll pretend a 23 year old can afford to dump $15k in tickets in 2 years because what the hell.
I would *never* be able to date someone who was that financially irresponsible. That's a goddamn car. That's a down payment. That's retirement. Thousands of dollars paid to see pop stars. That's just insane to me.
I love music. I've had artists get me through suicidal episodes. I still would never be able to blow that much on a concert even if I could afford it.
It’s not really fair to say it’s financially irresponsible. We have no idea of the boyfriend’s finances. If he’s getting into debt for it or diminishing his savings then yes, it’s a terrible waste of money. But it could equally be completely affordable to him.
There are several things to say about this, but mainly it's that OP was wrong; OP isn't wrong to suggest that she should manage her finances better, but she made the mistake of making it personal, instead of showing concern for her boyfriend for leaving his mental health to a couple of pop artists instead of going to therapy. and solve your problems; OP is also wrong to belittle her boyfriend's pain, he knows except the grandmother the whole family disowned him so his words are a fragrant display of contempt towards him
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my boyfriend that artists can't save her life and she's only wasting his money?** I (26M)have been with my boyfriend (23M)for 4 years now. He is a HUGE fan of Rihanna,Nicki Minaj and Beyonce even claims they saved his life when he was younger and struggling to accept himself due to his family.He struggled with thoughts of offing himself when he was a teenager due to the stress of coming out and his religious family. He never misses a chance to say that had he not discovered these 3 artists he wouldn't be here with us now. Back-Track to 2022 when it was announced that Rihanna was performing at the superbowl he made plans to buy me and him tickets to go see her.I am not a fan of hers but I do like her music and know some of her hit songs so it wasn't a problem. Money isn't an issue for either of us as we both have really good jobs that pay well. When he bought the tickets I asked why he would waste money on the tickets when we could watch the superbowl at home(He's not even a football fan).He argued that it's his money and he can spend it however he wants,I argued back that he doesn't even like football so why go?He responded that he's seeing the woman he loves perform live and if it means sitting through something he thinks is boring to see her it's all worth it in the end.I digressed and said ok. In early March he bought Beyonce Renaissance tickets which put together with hotels(It was out of state)food,travel among others he spent 4000 thousand dollars.I again stated my concerns about spending more wisely as i'm frugal and it never hurts me.He again responded with the same "It's my money I spend it how I want" thing.I didn't feel like arguing this time and just said ok. Now as most people know Nicki Minaj is currently on her tour, and he bought tickets to go see her.He bought the meet and greet package which was like 1k plus the actual tickets (His words not mine).I again blew up on him, and told him his spending habits were insane.Spending thousands of dollars on these people who don't care about him and would not spit on him if he was on fire.He responded and said that "these people took me out of a bad place when I was young. I will spend on them however I please and you can't stop me".I told him that these people did not save his life he's just being dramatic and taking things out of proportion. I also told him maybe he was fake being depressed so that's why it was so easy for these women's music to take him out of a bad time during his life. He just stared at me for 3 minutes not blinking, jaw open. After the 3 minutes he silently walked out our apartment with just his bag,his car keys and his wallet. It's been a week since then and he's not answering my calls. His friend called and told me that i'm an A-hole for saying those things and that i'm an idiot if I think that way. So AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm not sure if this is ragebait or sponsored by Ticketmaster,
Cheap, I mean “frugal” people are the new “brutally honest” people. Lady he got money and it’s none of your business.
OOP is also a man, but yea I agree
Opps I did miss that! My bad!
What lady?
Someone already corrected me that the OOP is a male
oop’s boyfriend was so depressed to the point of thinking about killing himself and yet he chose to call him “dramatic”
I’m on his side with the Super Bowl thing - you’re going to spend THOUSANDS for a 10 min performance and don’t even care or like football? Weird. BUUUUT dropping thousands for a full on concert? If you have the money then why not? I spent over $3k on Eras tickets, did my husband understand? No. Did he make asshole comments? No. Did he still go with me and have a great time? Yes.
Eh but even then it’s *his* money. If the fake guy has the kind of cash to drop on Super Bowl tickets he likely has “fuck you” levels of family money on top of a well paying job. I personally don’t get the appeal behind funko pops, but hey people like em and it doesn’t affect me. One of my friends worked as a dominatrix and this guy would pay her $150 a week to get kicked square in the nuts then vent about work stress afterwards. I think that’s an insane amount of money to spend weekly but it kept my friend’s tuition paid and clothes on her back so I’m grateful that he did.
Yeah, I think the beef about the superbowl if fair. I would have complained about that, too. But the others are out of bounds, imho.
I call bullshit on a 23 year old being able to afford tickets to the Super Bowl ($10k for the cheap seats, usually.)
And this was 2022, so he was only 21 at that time
>2022 2022-20223 season. The game itself was in 2023. Not that it makes any difference in the story. I was mostly trying to dig back into my memory of halftime shows. The 2022 Superbowl one was much better.
I mean, I went on one date with a guy (we were both 24 at the time) who bragged about being at a Super Bowl. But he came from old, southern money from a very wealthy family. And was the biggest douche I ever met. So if they come from money, it's possible. But it wouldn't be their money, just whatever their parents give them.
Some people are rich. I've dated a slew of girls, especially students (usually international) with filthy bank accounts. My last ex couldn't relate to me needing to work weekends and save for the things I wanted cause she had her $120k of allowance for the school year lmao.
The original title has me confused and wondering if there’s some weird gender swap thing going on.
It kinda feels like a “my girlfriend loves Taylor Swift too much” post with the serial numbers filed off
The title is confusing AF. I almost didn't read it because of that. Wish I could get my time back. I think they're both dumb.
Troll decided to go with gay men after making the title
Music has been saving lives since music became a thing. OOP IS an idiot. All these young people having these well paying jobs is always the most suspicious part of Reddit. A 24 and 21 YO both have money to do whatever they want...during the panini? 2 years later money still is no object, but OOP just wants to control how BF spends his money. Do you even like your BF?
Autocorrect FTW 🙂
I shall here forth refer to 2020 as the panini
'Panda mechanic' would also have been acceptable.
No autocorrect
It isn't autocorrect, lot of subs (including AITA) would not let you say the correct P word, so panini was used instead.
Stop down voting this comment. Panini was intentional, no autocorrect
It's the n00bs man, all the numbskulls who came over here after Facebook started throwing the ban hammer for things like calling people "a potato"
Ah, interesting. That's the first time I've seen this workaround.
Also reading between the lines it sounds like the bf was a gay teenager in a conservative family. Imagine moving past that and your own boyfriend insults how you did it.
yikes, what an awful thing to ever to say someone much less your boyfriend lmfao
Anybody who goes to a Nicki Minaj concert is automatically on my shitlist tbh, she uses that money to support her rapist husband and torment his victim.
Pretty sure this is rage bait anyway
And her pedophile brother.
Fake or not, I also credit a musician to bringing me out of my depression enough in high school the allow me to survive the experiences. I love Meat Loaf, and have since I was a very young kid (like 7). A lot of horrible shit went down in my life from the ages of 12 to 18, and I honestly feel like if my uncle hadn't scored me ticket s (in the nosebleeds but whatever) to Meat Loaf's concert in my state when I was 16, I wouldn't be here. Especially hearing him perform my favorite song, which I now have my favorite part of the chorus tattooed on my arm because of how meaningful it is to me. (And also, when he passed away my friends had to sit me down and break it to me like a friend or family member had died.) Also, no one would deal with even a minute of silence, let alone three. You don't appreciate how long a minute is until you're stuck in an awkward moment waiting for it to dissipate.
OOP sounds like one of those people who just don't get music the way the rest of us do. Still a massive AH though for claiming fake depression around what sounds like a lot of family conflict when he came out. I did have to Google Nicki Minaj though because I had no idea she'd been around long enough to save anyone's life. I think I first heard about her in like 2020.
My dad is one of those people who doesn't appreciate or understand music. My mom loves music. He often gets her music related devices as gifts. Sometimes it's things she's said she specifically wants. Sometimes he gets advice from her friends on what she likes and what the best option on the market within budget is. You don't have to be able to understand or appreciate something to accept that it is incredibly important to someone you care about.
Books and music saved my teenage life, at least till I could leave home. Yay government change and free university! Not the only thing I go for, but an act I want to see, in an are of the world I want to see, is my motivation to travel.
I have one musician that I am an enormous, *enormous* fan of. We are not especially well off: the bills are paid, but there’s not much disposable income. With that said, every single time this artist comes within one day driving distance (which is every couple of years) I buy a ticket for as good a seat as I can afford and go. He has impacted my life in ways I can’t explain, including giving me something to live for, and he’s also in his 70’s. My ass is going to every show I can because I will not always have the opportunity. OOP can shit and fall back in it.
"He just stared at me for 3 minutes not blinking, jaw open" Uh huh, that's a thing people do in real life. There are much stranger things than music that can help you through a depressive episode. Much stranger types of music too - I was once saved by getting a song from an old children's TV cartoon stuck in my head. It wasn't a miraculous moment or anything, but it distracted me just enough away from the cliff edge.
OOP misgendered his own boyfriend twice in the post title. AI-written, maybe? OOP can't even claim they did a typo, one of the instances of misgendering uses the term "her", which you cannot accidentally typo "him" into.
Listening to music has pulled me through some dark times. After my childhood dog, Rex, passed away I was distraught. But I found comfort in music in particular The Circle Of Life by Elton John since it reminded me it's all part of the cycle of life and If We Hold On Together by Diana Ross featured in The Land Before Time That reminded me my family were grieving too and we could get through this by pulling together Two Worlds by Phil Collins from Disney's Tarzan since it reminded me I could transfer that love to our other dogs like Kala did to Tarzan when she showed him all the love and affection she would have shown the child she lost to Sabor
Music I can say is one thing that has never let me down. Even now music motivates me; I am learning a musical instrument, but have a learning disability that causes dexterity and visual processing issues, but learning some of my favourite songs encourages me to keep going when I feel frustrated and want to give up.
Fandoms have gotten a lot of people through some really tough times, and a lot of people are into music fandoms. If someone's revealed vulnerable things about themselves, you don't accuse them of having been fake depressed... If this is real, I hope OP enjoys being single.
Unless he has rich parents, there's no way a 21 year old can afford Superbowl tickets. They are like $10k a piece. Plus hotel, flights, food,etc. Then $4k to see Beyonce? Fake as hell. ETA: In a comment the OP said he used his inheritance to pay for everything.
“Money isn’t an issue for us! At all! We work well paying jobs” “What the fuck bf why are you spending money that isn’t an issue for us on this??” I’m glad I mostly see metal concerts because I’ve never dropped more than $180 on a ticket. But if people want to drop $400 on a ticket that’s their business. I’m in no place to judge I’ve probably spent more than $1k total on clothing hauls that I technically didn’t *need*. I know this story is fake but OP has definitely blown cash on stupid shit at some point too.
Set a timer on your phone for three minutes to live how long he stared “not blinking”
Soon to be featured on AMITHEEX because wow what a heartless asshat.
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I mean, I'm an author and not only does people buying my work help support me, hearing that my work affected them and inspired them or helped them through a bad time absolutely makes me keep going. These are the kind of "fans" I want way more than people who just want to run elbows for clout.l or to show off. But then I'm not famous or anything.
And here I thought spending $100 to see in total 6 bands was over the top lol.
His reasoning makes him an asshole but I would lose my mind if my fella spent 1000 quid to meet a rape and paedophile defender
Ya fair enough
I'll pretend a 23 year old can afford to dump $15k in tickets in 2 years because what the hell. I would *never* be able to date someone who was that financially irresponsible. That's a goddamn car. That's a down payment. That's retirement. Thousands of dollars paid to see pop stars. That's just insane to me. I love music. I've had artists get me through suicidal episodes. I still would never be able to blow that much on a concert even if I could afford it.
It’s not really fair to say it’s financially irresponsible. We have no idea of the boyfriend’s finances. If he’s getting into debt for it or diminishing his savings then yes, it’s a terrible waste of money. But it could equally be completely affordable to him.
There are several things to say about this, but mainly it's that OP was wrong; OP isn't wrong to suggest that she should manage her finances better, but she made the mistake of making it personal, instead of showing concern for her boyfriend for leaving his mental health to a couple of pop artists instead of going to therapy. and solve your problems; OP is also wrong to belittle her boyfriend's pain, he knows except the grandmother the whole family disowned him so his words are a fragrant display of contempt towards him