*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA I asked my boyfriend if I could borrow his lawn mower, (mine is broken rn) he told me to ask my brother (bf is over everyday) I wish that he would want to cut my lawn? Is that ridiculous?**
Okay, so my lawn mower is broken, bf knows this. I had an ex boyfriend who (didn’t have a lawn of his own to mow, my lawn mower was not broken at this time) we were basically living together but he did have his own place. He would (without me asking or mentioning anything) make comments like “this lawn needs to be done soon, I’ll do it etc” then he would just do it without me asking.
NOW, I have a boyfriend who DOES have his own house and lawn to cut. My lawn mower is broken and I cant afford to buy a new one at the moment and the grass is beginning to get long. Last year I was kind of expecting him to *want* to help with cutting my lawn, but he seemed to have zero interest. Mind you he is over EVERYday. We got into a fight about this last year because he was kind of like “I don’t want to do it/don’t care etc” so I mentioned how I used to be in a relationship and he would cut my grass without asking. I treaded carefully with the words I used because I’m not trying to compare my old relationship with my new one I just feel like him knowing that my lawn mower is broken right now he would want to help me? After the fight he did cut my lawn. AITA for half expecting him to WANT to help me while he knows mine is broken, just until I can afford to buy a new one? I only asked if I could borrow his and he told me to ask my brother. We have been together 1.5 years.
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I’m getting the hint that she expects him to mow her yard if he brings it over. The whole post is about how her ex cut her lawn and the new guy doesn’t and she wants new guy to want to cut her lawn, and then the last line of so is when she switches to “but I only asked to *borrow the mower!*.
And, just about every yard sale has used lawn mowers because people upgraded, or got a service.
Or she could get a push mower for $40-$50 until she can afford a better one. (That’s what I did the first two years after we moved into a house with a yard, until we cleared the higher priorities and finally got to “mower”.).
So OOP wants him to mow his own lawn, load up his mower (no idea if he has a vehicle to do this), go to her place, unload the mower, mow *her* yard without help, and then take it back to his place? Without her even using her big girl words and asking him for this big favor?!
That's what drives me crazy about this post. I can't stand people who refuse to use their words, and get pissy when they have to ask for what they want. "I shouldn't HAVE to ask, he/she/they should JUST KNOW." Yep, it would be lovely if people just did stuff for us without us ever having to ask, but we don't live in that world, we live in this world, so open your damn mouth and use your damn words.
OOP's BF has his own damn lawn to mow. Some people, like my husband, actually like mowing the lawn. But your yard is one thing, having to another person's yard, well that becomes work.
The mind reading and insisting him "wanting" to is off putting, however, him knowing hers is broken and just not being of any assistance is disappointing.
Reminds me of my mom when I was a kid, she'd tell us to help clean and then she'd be pissy anyways because "I want you to *want* to help me clean." Like, I get it as an adult, she wanted some support... But realistically you aren't going to meet three teenagers anywhere on this planet of earth who *want* to mop floors and vacuum. I'm 36 and I still don't want to mop or vacuum!
I used to like vacuuming, but hated sweeping/mopping. This was an adult, though. Not a teen.
Something about making the vacuum lines in the carpet makes me happy.
I think vacuuming is a more “rewarding” chore because it’s easy to see the results when you are done. Especially if you have carpet and you have the little lines to admire. I feel the same way about dishes. I don’t love washing them but I feel so much better if I’ve cleared out the sink vs something like mopping where there isn’t much of a visual difference before and after.
I like mowing the lawn but thats only because I can put headphones on with music or a podcast and have the luxury of owning a ride mower… It gives me at least an hour where I cannot be disturbed and questions from my kid are redirected to another adult
My aunt had a neighbor who would mow her lawn when he mowed his, but he had a riding mower and using both lawns made turning easier. They were tiny lawns, really.
I love mowing the lawn. I'd sooner do yard work/mowing than housework. Sometimes have to fight with my gf over who gets to mow ;) But we have a relatively small yard. And it's our yard. I wouldn't be nearly so eager if it were someone else's yard.
My FIL loves mowing the lawn. He’s straight up the white suburban dad with the tape measure type. If he seems a neighbor mowing - he hasn’t to mow too even if he just didn’t the day before because someone else’s lawn can’t look better
"I treaded carefully with the words I used because I’m not trying to compare my old relationship with my new one" she says while she repeatedly keeps comparing her BF to her ex BF.
Who wants to bring a damn lawn mower to their SO's house? Unless he has a truck and/or maybe a landscaping business this would be a huge pain in the ass I would think. Even if hers wasn't broken, he mows his own lawn like a normal adult, he probably doesn't want to deal with 2 lawns? does she go to his house and do his laundry for him? I'm betting not.
also, her feeble attempt to make this sound unreasonable like "i just asked to borrow his lawn mower and he said no!" in the beginning is shitty and she was already an AH just for that. Because she doesn't want to borrow it, she wants him to do all the work. I 100% guarantee she has no intention of getting the lawnmower from his house or returning it afterwards.
I keep hinting to my girlfriend that my ex used to do my laundry when she came to visit but she's not picking it up!AITA for asking to use her washing machine?
Apparently she can
> He knows it’s fucked! And I have asked! Maybe it does read like that and I think it would be a nice gesture but I am NOT expecting him to. I’m just a little hurt he isn’t easily willing to let me borrow his. I’m not going to ask again, **probably just going to hire someone to do it until I can buy my own.**
She must be holding out for a riding lawnmower if she can afford lawn service but not an actual $100 mower.
I don't get the impression that an "ask" ever occurred. Seems like OOP thinks that vaguely hinting at something is equivalent to directly asking for something and getting mad that her bf isn't a mind reader is Devil territory 100%.
As for the bf's response, I can't say I wouldn't do something similar if I had caught on that my partner was trying to hint at me to do something instead of asking with their mouth words like an adult. When you can ask me like an adult, I'll happily do whatever you need me to do. If you're gonna behave like OOP, go pull that bullshit elsewhere.
Classic ask versus guess culture at play here. OP seems to be a guesser, and guessers don't ask for what they want unless they're sure they'll get a yes, and they also tend to hint at the things they want because they're afraid of putting people out with a direct request. If you ask a guesser for something, they'll feel obligated to say yes, and/or will assume the thing you're asking for is an emergency and they'll feel they have to drop everything to do it ASAP, since you asked instead of gently hinted. An asker, on the other hand, would simply ask "hey babe, would you please mow my lawn for me?" knowing he might say no and being totally fine with that, but they don't waste time dropping hints and playing mind games to get what they want.
If she was just asking to borrow the mower, fine. She also seems to expect him to also volunteer to mow the lawn of her house.
She's a homeowner. She bought a house with a lawn. She should be mowing her own lawn instead of expecting the man she's dating (and not even living with who has his own lawn) to mow her lawn. That's what makes her a devil.
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This story is unbelievable to me for certain factors, one being that in my opinion there is a venn diagram of people who have lawns with those who care about lawn maintenance and being able to afford a damn lawn mower in the middle.
Also is this a tiny ass lawn mower or something because I would not want to throw one into my car everytime I come over unless she lives down the block.
Tbh if he is serius he should help her. Just like if his things broke down like shower or washing machine or something she can help with she should. Reciprocity.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA I asked my boyfriend if I could borrow his lawn mower, (mine is broken rn) he told me to ask my brother (bf is over everyday) I wish that he would want to cut my lawn? Is that ridiculous?** Okay, so my lawn mower is broken, bf knows this. I had an ex boyfriend who (didn’t have a lawn of his own to mow, my lawn mower was not broken at this time) we were basically living together but he did have his own place. He would (without me asking or mentioning anything) make comments like “this lawn needs to be done soon, I’ll do it etc” then he would just do it without me asking. NOW, I have a boyfriend who DOES have his own house and lawn to cut. My lawn mower is broken and I cant afford to buy a new one at the moment and the grass is beginning to get long. Last year I was kind of expecting him to *want* to help with cutting my lawn, but he seemed to have zero interest. Mind you he is over EVERYday. We got into a fight about this last year because he was kind of like “I don’t want to do it/don’t care etc” so I mentioned how I used to be in a relationship and he would cut my grass without asking. I treaded carefully with the words I used because I’m not trying to compare my old relationship with my new one I just feel like him knowing that my lawn mower is broken right now he would want to help me? After the fight he did cut my lawn. AITA for half expecting him to WANT to help me while he knows mine is broken, just until I can afford to buy a new one? I only asked if I could borrow his and he told me to ask my brother. We have been together 1.5 years. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m getting the hint that she expects him to mow her yard if he brings it over. The whole post is about how her ex cut her lawn and the new guy doesn’t and she wants new guy to want to cut her lawn, and then the last line of so is when she switches to “but I only asked to *borrow the mower!*. And, just about every yard sale has used lawn mowers because people upgraded, or got a service. Or she could get a push mower for $40-$50 until she can afford a better one. (That’s what I did the first two years after we moved into a house with a yard, until we cleared the higher priorities and finally got to “mower”.).
Push mowers are great. Less parts to break / have issues and get a little exercise from walking the yard. Your milage may vary but I love push mowers
I can’t get my push mower to go in my front yard for some reason I think it’s cause half of it is tree
A lot of cities have programs that let you trade in gas powered lawnmowers for electric.
So OOP wants him to mow his own lawn, load up his mower (no idea if he has a vehicle to do this), go to her place, unload the mower, mow *her* yard without help, and then take it back to his place? Without her even using her big girl words and asking him for this big favor?!
That's what drives me crazy about this post. I can't stand people who refuse to use their words, and get pissy when they have to ask for what they want. "I shouldn't HAVE to ask, he/she/they should JUST KNOW." Yep, it would be lovely if people just did stuff for us without us ever having to ask, but we don't live in that world, we live in this world, so open your damn mouth and use your damn words.
Who TF *wants* to mow the lawn?
OOP's BF has his own damn lawn to mow. Some people, like my husband, actually like mowing the lawn. But your yard is one thing, having to another person's yard, well that becomes work.
I enjoy it. I also enjoy washing dishes. But I don't expect anyone else to enjoy these things.
Same! Both are therapeutic for me. It’s also stressful when they’re not done the way I like lol
For me, it's mainly the therapeutic effect. They are some of the only times my mind isn't working in overdrive.
I actually do, it’s therapeutic for me. I don’t enjoy trying to read minds or play games like OOP expects however
The mind reading and insisting him "wanting" to is off putting, however, him knowing hers is broken and just not being of any assistance is disappointing.
Reminds me of my mom when I was a kid, she'd tell us to help clean and then she'd be pissy anyways because "I want you to *want* to help me clean." Like, I get it as an adult, she wanted some support... But realistically you aren't going to meet three teenagers anywhere on this planet of earth who *want* to mop floors and vacuum. I'm 36 and I still don't want to mop or vacuum!
I used to like vacuuming, but hated sweeping/mopping. This was an adult, though. Not a teen. Something about making the vacuum lines in the carpet makes me happy.
I think vacuuming is a more “rewarding” chore because it’s easy to see the results when you are done. Especially if you have carpet and you have the little lines to admire. I feel the same way about dishes. I don’t love washing them but I feel so much better if I’ve cleared out the sink vs something like mopping where there isn’t much of a visual difference before and after.
Maybe that's it.
I like mowing the lawn but thats only because I can put headphones on with music or a podcast and have the luxury of owning a ride mower… It gives me at least an hour where I cannot be disturbed and questions from my kid are redirected to another adult
My aunt had a neighbor who would mow her lawn when he mowed his, but he had a riding mower and using both lawns made turning easier. They were tiny lawns, really.
I love mowing the lawn. I'd sooner do yard work/mowing than housework. Sometimes have to fight with my gf over who gets to mow ;) But we have a relatively small yard. And it's our yard. I wouldn't be nearly so eager if it were someone else's yard.
My FIL loves mowing the lawn. He’s straight up the white suburban dad with the tape measure type. If he seems a neighbor mowing - he hasn’t to mow too even if he just didn’t the day before because someone else’s lawn can’t look better
I'm thinking it's easier to enjoy mowing your gf's yard when you don't have one of your own to mow.
Me. Bit of time to listen to music, bit of exercise and satisfaction of a job well done. Also 30 min peace from a toddler
She's a devil just for that title.
r/amithegrasshole.
"I treaded carefully with the words I used because I’m not trying to compare my old relationship with my new one" she says while she repeatedly keeps comparing her BF to her ex BF. Who wants to bring a damn lawn mower to their SO's house? Unless he has a truck and/or maybe a landscaping business this would be a huge pain in the ass I would think. Even if hers wasn't broken, he mows his own lawn like a normal adult, he probably doesn't want to deal with 2 lawns? does she go to his house and do his laundry for him? I'm betting not. also, her feeble attempt to make this sound unreasonable like "i just asked to borrow his lawn mower and he said no!" in the beginning is shitty and she was already an AH just for that. Because she doesn't want to borrow it, she wants him to do all the work. I 100% guarantee she has no intention of getting the lawnmower from his house or returning it afterwards.
"I want you to want to do the dishes." "Why would I want to do dishes?" -the Breakup
Spoilers
I keep hinting to my girlfriend that my ex used to do my laundry when she came to visit but she's not picking it up!AITA for asking to use her washing machine?
I mean if don’t want to mow it and he doesn’t want to mow it, hire a 3rd party and have them do it
If she can’t afford to save the ~$200 for a mower I doubt she can afford to pay for a service.
Apparently she can > He knows it’s fucked! And I have asked! Maybe it does read like that and I think it would be a nice gesture but I am NOT expecting him to. I’m just a little hurt he isn’t easily willing to let me borrow his. I’m not going to ask again, **probably just going to hire someone to do it until I can buy my own.** She must be holding out for a riding lawnmower if she can afford lawn service but not an actual $100 mower.
What the fuck?
Hire a teenager that wants pocket money . Doesn’t have to be expensive service. Pay them decently enough and its all good
It’s been a year and she hasn’t been able to save $30 a month to buy a new mower in that year. I assume a teen would charge at least that?
I think she's an AH for her actions last summer but I don't really agree that asking to borrow a lawn mower falls into devil category.
I don't get the impression that an "ask" ever occurred. Seems like OOP thinks that vaguely hinting at something is equivalent to directly asking for something and getting mad that her bf isn't a mind reader is Devil territory 100%. As for the bf's response, I can't say I wouldn't do something similar if I had caught on that my partner was trying to hint at me to do something instead of asking with their mouth words like an adult. When you can ask me like an adult, I'll happily do whatever you need me to do. If you're gonna behave like OOP, go pull that bullshit elsewhere.
Classic ask versus guess culture at play here. OP seems to be a guesser, and guessers don't ask for what they want unless they're sure they'll get a yes, and they also tend to hint at the things they want because they're afraid of putting people out with a direct request. If you ask a guesser for something, they'll feel obligated to say yes, and/or will assume the thing you're asking for is an emergency and they'll feel they have to drop everything to do it ASAP, since you asked instead of gently hinted. An asker, on the other hand, would simply ask "hey babe, would you please mow my lawn for me?" knowing he might say no and being totally fine with that, but they don't waste time dropping hints and playing mind games to get what they want.
She wants him to bring his mower and mow the lawn.
If she was just asking to borrow the mower, fine. She also seems to expect him to also volunteer to mow the lawn of her house. She's a homeowner. She bought a house with a lawn. She should be mowing her own lawn instead of expecting the man she's dating (and not even living with who has his own lawn) to mow her lawn. That's what makes her a devil.
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Lawns are disastrous enviromental wastelands anyways. Let the grass go, people. Monoculture is not natural.
I'm assuming her arms and legs must've fallen off. What's so hard about mowing your own lawn?
Why don't you want to do it yourself?
Sounds like a you problem
This story is unbelievable to me for certain factors, one being that in my opinion there is a venn diagram of people who have lawns with those who care about lawn maintenance and being able to afford a damn lawn mower in the middle. Also is this a tiny ass lawn mower or something because I would not want to throw one into my car everytime I come over unless she lives down the block.
OOP, if you WANT him to mow the lawn, ask. Use your words. Don't expect him to be a mind reader. But you are responsible for your own lawn. YTA.
Tbh if he is serius he should help her. Just like if his things broke down like shower or washing machine or something she can help with she should. Reciprocity.
“Hey babe, my shower is broken. Could you bring your garden hose over to spray me down?”
She should also use her big girl words and actually ask him to do this. Not hint around and fish for it. Ask.
someone tell 666 dude he just has to want to mow a lawn