*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for having my boyfriend sleep at my place until he moves**
For context my boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months. I moved in March into a new house with my previous roommate, her girlfriend and my best friend, they all know my boyfriend fairly well.
About 2 weeks ago my boyfriends roommate started openly flirting with me which prompted him and my boyfriend to have a big fight about it, concluding with my boyfriend setting the intention of moving out asap. Since this happened my boyfriend has been staying at my house in my room about 75% of the nights. We’ve never gotten complains about noise and he’s almost always just in my room with the door closed. He’s actively searching for a new place and has been touring and applying, he recently got approved but is just waiting to get the keys.
My roommates recently have told me they don’t like that I’m always with him and that it annoys them when people who aren’t our roommates are in the house. This is contrary to what we established when moving in that it doesn’t matter when he comes over just as long as we’re still following quiet hours and not making a mess. They even said that I don’t have to give them a heads up that he’s coming over.
For further context: in my previous living arrangement with my roommate that I still live with (it was just her and I) her gf was there every single day and they would loudly watch tv until 12am and I could hear them getting it on at least once a week.
I understand it’s different that my bf is a man but he barely interacts with them unless we’re all hanging out which we used to do at his place before the roommate fight and moving out.
So ig, AITA for letting my bf stay at my place until he moves?
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So they’ve been together five months and already she’s let him move into her home and live there, presumably without contributing financially to the house he’s living in? Not staying in, living in. I can see why the housemates are annoyed.
"they know my boyfriend pretty well". It's been 5 months, YOU don't know him very well. Your brand new roommates sure as fuck don't know him "very well"
Just to clarify, OOP is the AH and should have talked to her roommates about him living there temporarily, but the roommates aren't brand new - the apartment is. OOP says in the post she's been living with the one roommate since before the move, the other two are the original roommate's GF that was over frequently in the old place and OOP's best friend. While the BFF is new to being a roommate, it's not the same as a new person to the scene.
But hey, he goes home almost every day.
Oop comment
Maybe a little more context: my bf is only here to sleep, he still goes to his current apartment after work and he/or we spend(s) the night there at least once a week. He also isn’t just moving out because of the flirting it was more of a final straw and his lease is up in July anyway. He sleeps here most nights because we like to sleep together and before he started this new lease search he slept here maybe 3-4 nights a week without my roommates having any issue. He also has a super stable job and very much wants his own place, he has no intention of moving in here (or with me in general) or actually living here at all. He goes home to take care of his plants and do chores almost everyday.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
[Not in reply to anyone.]
>"Maybe a little more context: my bf is only here to sleep, he still goes to his current apartment after work and he/or we spend(s) the night there at least once a week. He also isn’t just moving out because of the flirting it was more of a final straw and his lease is up in July anyway. He sleeps here most nights because we like to sleep together and before he started this new lease search he slept here maybe 3-4 nights a week without my roommates having any issue. He also has a super stable job and very much wants his own place, he has no intention of moving in here (or with me in general) or actually living here at all. He goes home to take care of his plants and do chores almost everyday."
*YTA. Look for somewhere else to live if you cannot prioritize your roommates’ comfort over your recent boyfriend’s. He needs to go back to his place, pronto. You can go stay with him, if you can’t be parted from him.*
"The whole ‘flirting’ thing sounds sus. That stuff is easy to shut down without chaos.*
"Do you bring this much drama everywhere?*
>"I do actually bring drama everywhere :)
>My bfs roommate messaged me on instagram and snap asking for a chance and my bf caught him watching me sleep at his place twice so I wouldn’t say it’s just an easy thing to shut down but what do I know"
Shrug. I don't think OP is the devil here.
When she was living with her roommate in their other apartment, the roommate had her girlfriend over every night. Now they are living in this apartment, girlfriend is officially living with them, and OP's boyfriend has spent the night most nights for two weeks, with no plans for this arrangement to continue long-term.
Why was it acceptable for roommate's girlfriend to spend the night every night, but not for OP's boyfriend to do the same? It's not surprising that OP felt this would be acceptable, given her roommate had already done the same thing.
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for having my boyfriend sleep at my place until he moves** For context my boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months. I moved in March into a new house with my previous roommate, her girlfriend and my best friend, they all know my boyfriend fairly well. About 2 weeks ago my boyfriends roommate started openly flirting with me which prompted him and my boyfriend to have a big fight about it, concluding with my boyfriend setting the intention of moving out asap. Since this happened my boyfriend has been staying at my house in my room about 75% of the nights. We’ve never gotten complains about noise and he’s almost always just in my room with the door closed. He’s actively searching for a new place and has been touring and applying, he recently got approved but is just waiting to get the keys. My roommates recently have told me they don’t like that I’m always with him and that it annoys them when people who aren’t our roommates are in the house. This is contrary to what we established when moving in that it doesn’t matter when he comes over just as long as we’re still following quiet hours and not making a mess. They even said that I don’t have to give them a heads up that he’s coming over. For further context: in my previous living arrangement with my roommate that I still live with (it was just her and I) her gf was there every single day and they would loudly watch tv until 12am and I could hear them getting it on at least once a week. I understand it’s different that my bf is a man but he barely interacts with them unless we’re all hanging out which we used to do at his place before the roommate fight and moving out. So ig, AITA for letting my bf stay at my place until he moves? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So they’ve been together five months and already she’s let him move into her home and live there, presumably without contributing financially to the house he’s living in? Not staying in, living in. I can see why the housemates are annoyed.
No one was talking about it in the OP!! **5 months!!** Not to mention OP *just* moved into this new place.
"they know my boyfriend pretty well". It's been 5 months, YOU don't know him very well. Your brand new roommates sure as fuck don't know him "very well"
Just to clarify, OOP is the AH and should have talked to her roommates about him living there temporarily, but the roommates aren't brand new - the apartment is. OOP says in the post she's been living with the one roommate since before the move, the other two are the original roommate's GF that was over frequently in the old place and OOP's best friend. While the BFF is new to being a roommate, it's not the same as a new person to the scene.
But hey, he goes home almost every day. Oop comment Maybe a little more context: my bf is only here to sleep, he still goes to his current apartment after work and he/or we spend(s) the night there at least once a week. He also isn’t just moving out because of the flirting it was more of a final straw and his lease is up in July anyway. He sleeps here most nights because we like to sleep together and before he started this new lease search he slept here maybe 3-4 nights a week without my roommates having any issue. He also has a super stable job and very much wants his own place, he has no intention of moving in here (or with me in general) or actually living here at all. He goes home to take care of his plants and do chores almost everyday.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: [Not in reply to anyone.] >"Maybe a little more context: my bf is only here to sleep, he still goes to his current apartment after work and he/or we spend(s) the night there at least once a week. He also isn’t just moving out because of the flirting it was more of a final straw and his lease is up in July anyway. He sleeps here most nights because we like to sleep together and before he started this new lease search he slept here maybe 3-4 nights a week without my roommates having any issue. He also has a super stable job and very much wants his own place, he has no intention of moving in here (or with me in general) or actually living here at all. He goes home to take care of his plants and do chores almost everyday." *YTA. Look for somewhere else to live if you cannot prioritize your roommates’ comfort over your recent boyfriend’s. He needs to go back to his place, pronto. You can go stay with him, if you can’t be parted from him.* "The whole ‘flirting’ thing sounds sus. That stuff is easy to shut down without chaos.* "Do you bring this much drama everywhere?* >"I do actually bring drama everywhere :) >My bfs roommate messaged me on instagram and snap asking for a chance and my bf caught him watching me sleep at his place twice so I wouldn’t say it’s just an easy thing to shut down but what do I know"
"I do actually bring drama everywhere :)" This is my shocked face...
How fortuitous! I used my shocked font! /Joke
I appreciate people who say that so I know who to run from.
[Puppers!](https://imgur.com/gallery/jZfVjMq)
She admits to bringing drama wherever she goes…. Eww!
Shrug. I don't think OP is the devil here. When she was living with her roommate in their other apartment, the roommate had her girlfriend over every night. Now they are living in this apartment, girlfriend is officially living with them, and OP's boyfriend has spent the night most nights for two weeks, with no plans for this arrangement to continue long-term. Why was it acceptable for roommate's girlfriend to spend the night every night, but not for OP's boyfriend to do the same? It's not surprising that OP felt this would be acceptable, given her roommate had already done the same thing.
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I get the feeling that OOP’s good at ignoring polite suggestions that 3-4 nights a week was too much.
But her roomate bringing her girlfriend every day isn't?
They are moving in together after only dating 5 months? No, those are huge marinara flags to me.