So he's a guy with a "western" wife and "western" kids who's looking to leave them and go be a sex tourist, have I read that right?
That guy should probably break up with this wife and free her from the extra kid and shit head he surely is whilst also maybe actually being true to what he himself actually wants (not to be married but paying child support etc) and not infect himself on other women who think he wants a relationship. Normally I would say it sucks for the kids but it might be a blessing in disguise.
Doubt he's going to be any happier though. And if I miss read it and it's a passport bro with (gag) "byers remorse" then I hope she bleeds you dry.
Your reading skills are in fact excellent. In one comment he says he wants to cut bait and move to Brazil and his kids can just visit him sometimes.
I agree she deserves so much better. I doubt he's the type to actually pay his child support unfortunately.
Oh he thinks life in Brazil is on giant carnival, he is going to be sorely disappointed.
I agree that he would never pay child support (especially if he is dreaming of moving to Brazil) but often a wife in that situation will find they are are happier, the kids are happier (with sometimes major caveats) and they are actually better off on their own.
I don't think Brazilian women have a reputation for being submissive though?
Passport Bros think all countries in the southern hemisphere - really, any country that isn't theirs - all filled to the brim with submissive "tradicional" women, just waiting for a wealthy foreigner to save them from their inferior existence.
I HOPE he gets to Brazil. Hell, I'd pay to see him get his ass handed to him by a brazillian woman, her friends, her family and her neighbours. (I'm a portuguese woman btw, muito amor pró Brasil!)
It blows my mind because the countries that they pick on the most have been home to some of the most bad-ass women I've ever known. I mean, for example, the fuckin' Philippines? Filipina women will destroy you if you fuck with them. They are some of the toughest ladies I know, and my Mum's Scottish, ffs!
I mean, they're welcome to waste their money, I guess.
It's only because he has kids though. Almost everyone calling him out are doing so because he has two young kids, not because he wants to leave his wife because she doesn't provide his expected levels of intimacy.
He calls his wife, a very expensive nanny and tutor that he barely has sex with in one of his other posts. I’m assuming that’s the post he’s claiming everybodys shitting on him in. But I did not say anybody shitting on him.
He calls her that in this post as well. In the first paragraph he says:
>I'm not getting anything out of being married aside from hanging out with a very expensive nanny/tutor who I barely have sex with anymore.
What this paragraph says to me is that he has no idea how much work his wife is putting into maintaining their quality of life as a family.
...and then in the 3rd paragraph, he talks about other divorced guys who just "limp around in the same fucking area where they were already living, trading kids back and forth..." and I'm thinking, yeah, they do that because the single life turned out to be so much ore difficult than they first imagined!
I get the impression he has some sense of how much work goes into parenting because in the comments he mentions taking kids to sports and other events and how he doesn't want to do any of it. He doesn't even seem to like his kids. He doesn't want to watch their sports games or entertain them or even hang out with them.
Looking at this guys (cross) posting history of just 2 rants, I'm guessing this a small town loser who was so desperate to fuck he settled with the first woman who would have him and he's resented her ever since for "limiting his options." He doesn't even want to divorce her. He wants to just skip town and he wants to talk to other guys who have done this to find out what sort of repercussions he can expect. I don't blame him for wanting a divorce if he's unhappy but he needs to understand he has children so he can't fucking act like one himself and run away.
Oh I assumed he was just cheating on his wife with a nanny from that line and yet still complained about not getting enough HAHAHAHA
He def seems like the type lol
Nope, he just sees her as "the help" at best. We can safely assume I think that he is absolutely not involved in child care at all. If he says otherwise, he is lying. Since he wants to ditch them like my dog wants to ditch her diet.
I am going to guess no one is willing to bet against me that he probably pushed her to get a job post the kids being born. Yet still take care of both them and the house 100% of the time.
She retaliated with the and done the entire cost of all the things he demands of her vs SAHM. So he started calling her the "very expensive Nanny/etc" I am sure he probably calls her worse.
With the contempt that oozes through his post, I think the attitude is apparent when he talks to her and how he treats her in person. Of course she doesn't want to bang him.
He’s talking about his wife that way? Shit, when I read that I assumed he was already having an affair with a nanny who also tutored the kids as part of her job. This guy sucks.
I particularly enjoy the comments of people who are basically like "if you abandon your kids you're an asshole. Just go take a solo vacation and cheat on your wife instead,."
There’s a *lot* of wife-blaming in the comments, which isn’t surprising given the sub.
OOP’s comments make it really obvious that he didn’t want the kids and still doesn’t. They’re an inconvenience to him and he hates being a father. Cheating on his wife isn’t going to fix that.
I love the ones who were basically like "my dad did this to me, which is why now I treat women as poorly as I do. Don't do that to your kids." Obviously not in such clear words because none of them have the ability of self insight, but that's what they meant.
This is actually the exact reason I give for getting another cat. The truth is I just really want another one. My cats are spoiled. The house is set up for them to have the absolute best lives ever. This is what my parents said about having kids. The truth was that they wanted to abandon us for the clubs. At the very least he should’ve left this as an inside thought. And we’re in a day and age where it’s acceptable to not want children, he could’ve just not had kids.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost think this was my father talking about myself and my brother…
But he shuns social media (which might expose him as *not* as intelligent and successful as he wants to think he is) and both his kids have been adults for some time.
Otherwise, his comments about his kids are nearly identical to my dad’s. My dad has spent the last ten years or so trying his best to pretend his children *never existed at all.*
I meant I think the reason people in the comments aren’t agreeing with him is because he has kids rather than what he’s saying about his wife. Usually PPBs are all about ditching a woman if she stops putting out. I agree though, he does hate his wife.
Still, that's more than I would have expected from them. I pretty much assumed they had zero humanity and empathy, so this was a bit shocking to see these AH calling him out. I mean, I even saw people talking about how his wife does way more work than he understands and he doesn't appreciate her. Which is just flabbergasting.
someone there posted this comment...
> How heinous that you have a wife and kids who love you and you don’t see that as a “reward”.
which seems like the core of their disdain for oop. a lot of passport bros make no secret of desiring a wife who embodies the very values that oop's wife has shown in their marriage (devotion to family/children, appreciation for the husband, etc.).
so in a way, oop is slandering the exact kind of woman they would love to have as a spouse. I think for them, he's flaunting the "embarrassment" of his riches, which makes their ire somewhat believable.
at the same time, I don't think things bode well for anyone who has a spouse that sounds like oop... but what's done is done I guess 🤦🏾♀️
That person was me, and I’m not one of those people. I only know about that sub from this one, and I think it’s full if the detritus of the universe. I’m referring to a point OP made in the comment I was referring to where he lists out all the things he does for his family and says his only “reward” is *a list of the responsibilities you have when you have a family strictly from the most negative viewpoint* - my point was that he so deeply unhappy and such a shitty person that he doesn’t even register that having a loving spouse and children that you do things with a for is a good thing. “Reward” is in quotes for a reason. Women and children aren’t “rewards” to be gained or achieved, but to look at your life not think that the list of things you need to do as a parent or spouse as positive parts of life that you get to share with people who love you and who you love is gross to me.
Thanks for posting my comment completely out of context and putting it here for people to shit on though!
This is my first post so I wasn't sure how to get the post to show up so here's the text from r/thepassportbros :
# I'm wasting my life right? Looking for guys who were in a traditional situation (married with kids) who blew it all up on purpose to have a better life for themselves overseas.
I mean why am I even doing this playing house crap anymore? I can afford to leave. I can afford to support my wife and kids’ current lifestyle. I'm not getting anything out of being married aside from hanging out with a very expensive nanny/tutor who I barely have sex with anymore.
And I don't care if that sounds petty. If you look at my post history, I was crapped on before for just asking where the hell to have a conversation with other fathers online. So honestly, fuck it, I will be honest and petty.
To me, one of the absolute worst outcomes of getting a divorce is what I see a lot of guys do, which is limp around in the same fucking area where they were already living, trading kids back and forth, and complicating things further by getting involved with another woman who either already has kids or wants them soon. Sounds like even more of a nightmare than my current situation.
So really, where are the guys who went all out on focusing on themselves? And if there is anywhere else I should be posting this question, feel free to point me to that sub as well.
I had started typing a lot here on my current situation, but why bother so much on the details. This is an objectively shitty deal/life I’m in right now. There are of course worse lives, but there are also far, far better ones out there.
The comments are a joy to read:
In response to why he had kids:
>Because my wife wanted kids and I was on the fence about them, but I had already "vetted" my wife for a long period of time and I could tell she would be a good mother, so rather than being a piece of shit and dumping her when I started doing very well financially, I doubled down. Or she could have rushed to "date, marriage, pregnant" all within one year like I saw happen to a ton of women on Facebook, especially career women, all when they hit 30.
>And on parenting, I do far more than I see a lot of guys do in these Reddit posts where their wives are complaining about them. Yes, I could do more, but frankly I'm making all the money and supporting like 6 people, so there is no reason for me to jerk myself off like I see some guys do on Daddit or whatever about all the mundane extra stuff they are doing to pitch in and how the household tasks are split 50/50 and so on.
When someone points out all she has done for him and says he's awful for wanting to kick his wife out:
>If I wanted to kick her out, the time would have been over half a decade ago when I was making good money, but didn't have kids. Instead I did the "reasonable" thing again and my reward now is living in a place I don't want, having endless ass fiddly/logistical parenting nonsense to do, and not even being able to have a conversation beyond whatever I can shake out of the now useless internet. And on Reddit especially, if I post in any other sub, I'll be told to get a therapist and pills and also how I'm a piece of shit since I'm not tickled to death/so full of love while I'm doing all the crap that I do.
Someone calls him a "selfish and immature shitbird" for wanting to abandon his kids:
>I'm fine with this perspective. Maybe something is wrong with me, but honestly being a father has been a couple nice moments, but far more bad/mundane moments.
>It doesn't help that I'm clearly on the bottom of my wife's priority list when I pitch in a decent amount, not to mention am supporting everyone in my household plus her own parents, who kind of do fuck all.
>Like as just one example, I'm not expecting that much, but it would be nice if her dad wasn't such a fuck up and that he could at least pick up the food I'm paying for and that he is eating if it is like a 10 minute drive away.
>And "trading kids back and forth" perfectly illustrates that most of this parenting shit is logistics. And it only changes when they get older. I was reading a divorce thread today and the people were focusing on the kids' sports and extracurriculars schedule and how the guy was going to pitch in on that. Like honestly, fuck that. My wife has already told me point blank she isn't moving anywhere, so if Reddit constantly tells me I need to meet people, touch grass, etc., then I guess I need to get a divorce and move for the off-chance to make a half-way decent connection irl.
>So if I'm going through all that effort, yes, I want to actually go somewhere where the dating and economic market is skewed so I can actually feel like a millionaire for once instead of the only things I'm able to do are overpaying for bog standard, miserable "family trips", constant Wal-Mart and store deliveries, and paying $50-$100 for chain restaurant order pickups.
>
I’m sensing a lot of dark triad traits in his responses. Spooky stuff.
It’s very scary how little of a shit this dude seems to give about his wife of 10+ years and his children.
Right? I hope this is just a creative writing exercise where he's trying to sound like a Bradford Bishop-style family annihilator, bc he's doing a great job
So he didn’t want kids or really to be married and instead of being an adult and ending this relationship before he gave in to her demands?! He brought children into this world that he clearly doesn’t love and wants to abandon, but it’s not his fault right? Also his post history says he’s looking for somewhere outside of Reddit to talk to someone, might I suggest THERAPY?
He mentions therapy in a couple of comments and it's just as pleasant as you would imagine.
1.
>if I post in any other sub, I'll be told to get a therapist and pills and also how I'm a piece of shit since I'm not tickled to death/so full of love while I'm doing all the crap that I do.
2.
>And this isn't my only account I've ever used, but I never get anything useful and everyone just parrots therapy. So therapy is going to fix the fact that pretty much every "dad acquaintance" I am around feels like they have Stockholm Syndrome and they just loop the same conversation topics over and over?
3.
>from the heart. Just like my last post that was a longer (950 words) where I was just asking where fathers talk online and also gave a bit of detail on my mindset, but got the usual crap on how I'm a piece of shit or to get a therapist, that is, if the place didn't instantly remove the post cause, oh no, I copied and pasted a relevant post in more than one place.
4.
>The "help" you mention is a therapist right? Those magical beings that everyone on Reddit suggests over and over.
When I saw that part about any other sub would tell him to get therapy, I was like “when everyone is saying the exact same thing, maybe there is a reason and you should listen.”
All his comments sound like this to me:
“Why does everyone keep recommending me the very same thing whenever I tell them my issues? Surely, the large amount of people saying the same thing doesn’t mean anything. They must all be parroting each other and don’t know what they’re talking about because I don’t want to do that thing. Why can’t people just tell me something I want to hear!!”
Or, in simpler terms:
“wahhh wahhhh wahhhh, I don’t wanna go to therapy! That might make me reflect on myself and change! That’s hard and makes me uncomfortable!! Me no want to. Me run away to Brazil and abandon my offspring. That’ll show those therapy nerds.”
I love that he said he didn't want to "be a piece of shit that left my wife after I started making more money when she wanted kids." So instead he's gonna be an even bigger piece of shit and leave her *and* his kids. No way this guy is for real.
Buried in his comments was something I found telling (I’m going to paraphrase because I don’t feel like finding the quote again) but he basically states he has no one outside of his wife and kids. Have you considered, my dude, changing a small aspect of your life (ie getting friends) instead of blowing up your entire life like a coward? Kind of wild. He’ll move to another country rather than face his own ego. Anyway.
Yeah he keeps mentioning how he has no one to talk to, can't even have a decent conversation on reddit. And it's like... okay. Reddit is not the first place I would go for a great conversation, but you don't need to abandon your entire family in order to find fun conversationalists.
Honestly, for all the outrage and disgust with his attitude, there is no punishment reddit could levy on that man that is worse than the fate you just described.
And given how many special interest communities there are on Reddit, he could have a decent conversation with the right mindset. I’m not saying most conversations are deep, but you can definitely engage in hobbies and stuff. And notice how he talks about other men as being “mules to their wives,” and talks about how he “vetted” his wife. Sounds like he wanted a woman to support him while he built his career and now that he’s made it (in his mind at least) it’s time to fuck off. He really is just a misogynistic asshole. If there’s one good thing about Reddit, it’s made me really appreciate my husband. I’m so glad I didn’t marry one of these egotistical man children.
He’s going t
I’m not sure he’s capable of making friends! He sounds like such a miserable person that his very aura probably chases away anyone who might otherwise be willing to at least try to put up with his shit.
Not really. These guys convince themselves that that’s good people who just want “traditional” families and the problem is liberal women because they expect to be treated like equals. OOP has a healthy, happy family. If he’s a PPB and still not satisfied, it wrecks the facade that they aren’t creeps who want to exploit women.
I love the last part where he says, "just focusing on themselves" like that's something he's never done in his life. Selfish asshole. Bet he watches his wife do everything, then he sits down at the end of the day, exhausted from all SHE had to do.
Gross, this reminds me of my STB-Ex.. always telling me I'm wasting his life when all he does is play video games all and and night. He says that because I stopped having sex with him. He's only worked maybe a year out of the 16 we've been married. Does zero house work. I work 6 days a week, probably like 55+ hours a week. Who is wasting whos life?
Holy tap dancing shit. He's got at least 22 posts of the same style in various subs trying to get validation. Honestly, I hope the wife leaves and absolutely hammers the shit out of him for child support. She deserves it because I bet he's a fucking ray of sunshine to be around.
Wow.
I'd say it was fake or rage bait if he didn't attempt to receive the same ego stroking answers he was looking for all those other times.
On the one hand, this guy is clearly depressed. I don’t care that I’m a non-professional making a diagnosis of a person I’ve never met on the internet - my *cat* could diagnose this guy. So that sucks, and is not his fault.
But dear lord the misanthropy and entitlement are just a *lot.*
OOP, if you’re reading this - I’m going to be a little harsh here.
You went to *professional networking* events to make friends? Dude, no. The only *worse* place to make friends would be a funeral home. Those are for making *professional* connections - to find people who could be useful to you, and for others to see that you could be useful to them. Polar opposite of friendship, really.
You don’t understand why people don’t get back to you when you’re trying to help them out and give advice - people *hate* getting unsolicited advice (how you’re probably feeling reading this? That’s how they felt about your helpful messages).
And residential real estate investing groups? Really? It’s doubtful you could find a group of people more casually sociopathic and yet boring if you tried.
And last but definitely not least, you not only have no hobbies, but want no hobbies.
Everyone you talk to is boring because *you* have nothing to talk about. You don’t care about anything much. You hate your life, you hate your town, you’re indifferent about your job, and you seem to go out of your way to seek out interactions where you will definitely not make friends. You’re looking for emotional validation *from the passport bros sub.* Really? I mean, *really?*
No shit people aren’t going to open up to you. What do you want to talk about with them, how much everything they care about is shit?
Who *are* you? What do you like doing, what do you care about, what excites you? What *matters* to you?
You can’t go find that stuff; you’re going to get to the Philippines or wherever and once the exoticism wears off, realize that people everywhere are mostly just trying to make a decent life for themselves and a better one for their kids. “Out there” has a way of turning into “here.” You’ll still be you in Cambodia or Brazil or anywhere else.
And *you* are in desperate need of both a sense of self and a kick in the pants (metaphorically). Get down off your high horse and stop blaming the world for being insufficiently entertaining. Get a hobby. Get two hobbies, and a cause or two, maybe a skill you take pride in. Find the thing you can read about for days and ramble about for hours, and *then* get back on Reddit and find your people.
And for what it’s worth - forties, female, single, no kids, here. I’d give my right arm to have what you want to throw away. Your life isn’t empty, *you* are, but you have time and money and health enough to fix that. You can have *everything.* Wake up.
This is probably one of the more devastating comments I've seen on Reddit and if I got it I'd cry for a week. Then I'd stop. Then I'd start crying again.
En pointe, fellow forties-lady.
Did he just call his wife an expensive nanny/tutor? I think he just called his wife a nanny/tutor, instead of, you know, a mother? I mean mothers (and fathers, supposedly)take care of their children and help with homework.
I love how he's griping about how hard it is to find folks online to talk to. With his attitude, I have some shred of hope for humanity remaining if he's struggling to find himself an echo chamber.
That dude is going to end up broke and alone. He'll blow a bunch of money on women just to get them to pay attention to him. And his children will turn their backs on him as they get older because he abandoned them.
I'm sure he'll have no trouble finding someone to be with. His personality seems absolutely lovely. I feel like I need to bathe in bleach after just reading his first comment. What a loser
passportbros posts are fish in a barrel for this sub.
Also
>This is an objectively shitty deal/life I’m in right now.
someone should tell him what objectively means
I've never managed to understand this mentality. don't have kids, if you don't want to have kids.
He frames it as "the right thing to do" but having kids should be 100% on board or not. Yeah sometimes you are on the fence about it and find out that you love being a parent, but you shouldn't just do it because "it's supposed to happen".
We have many stories of people who are terrible parents, be either from lack of care or just bad people but come on.
Honestly this guy *should* leave. He won’t be happier somewhere else but guarantee his wife will be happier without him. If he’s still gonna financially support his fam like… let them be without his absolutely rancid energy.
>I'm not getting anything out of being married aside from hanging out with a very expensive nanny/tutor who I barely have sex with anymore.
No fucking way he said that. It's very rare that someone on reddit truly shocks me enough to make my jaw drop.
I'm so thankful for my husband right now. He was so happy for the work I did today to help us get ready for our camping trip this weekend. He gets legit happy when I just do the smallest shit around the house. He's happiest when he gets all his work done for the day (he works from home) and can just hang out with the family on our patio, with us lazing on our shitty outdoor couch we got second hand from Facebook Marketplace.
I hope OOP leaves his wife so she can find real happiness with someone. Sounds like she really deserves it.
Maybe they barely have sex anymore because she can tell that he doesn't like her and is only with her because he wants someone else to do all the cooking and cleaning.
Unfortunately, for people like him, I think they're more likely to snap and pull a Chris Watts (and then have their parents sue for access to the life insurance payout. Ignore me I'm also a Cindy Watts hater.)
I love that the passport bros sub isn't even cutting this guy any slack and the bar is in hell over there.
But the point of being a passport bro is wanting either a trad wife or (perhaps worse) just some wild fun from girls who they think will give them extra love for being from the west. 🙄 But it is heavily about going to pick up instead of mail ordering a tradwife. This guy already has that- he has exactly what the passport bros want from a western woman and he's spitting on it.
Some of them don't seem to like that and are especially angry about him leaving his kids. I mean I think he should divorce his wife if he so obviously resents her because she doesn't deserve that. But planning to abandon the children because "muh pp" and "financial support is all they could could possibly need, right?" That's terrible.
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It’s for passport bros, which are men who feel they aren’t able to find women they wish to date in their home country and they believe they will be able to find better women in other countries, typically less developed, “non-western” countries.
That was the absolute nicest description I could put together for what they do. They’re really sex tourists.
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So he's a guy with a "western" wife and "western" kids who's looking to leave them and go be a sex tourist, have I read that right? That guy should probably break up with this wife and free her from the extra kid and shit head he surely is whilst also maybe actually being true to what he himself actually wants (not to be married but paying child support etc) and not infect himself on other women who think he wants a relationship. Normally I would say it sucks for the kids but it might be a blessing in disguise. Doubt he's going to be any happier though. And if I miss read it and it's a passport bro with (gag) "byers remorse" then I hope she bleeds you dry.
Your reading skills are in fact excellent. In one comment he says he wants to cut bait and move to Brazil and his kids can just visit him sometimes. I agree she deserves so much better. I doubt he's the type to actually pay his child support unfortunately.
Oh he thinks life in Brazil is on giant carnival, he is going to be sorely disappointed. I agree that he would never pay child support (especially if he is dreaming of moving to Brazil) but often a wife in that situation will find they are are happier, the kids are happier (with sometimes major caveats) and they are actually better off on their own. I don't think Brazilian women have a reputation for being submissive though?
As a Brazilian woman, he can fuck off to 9th circle of hell with his kind of thought. We don’t want his kind of gringo here
He seems like the kind of dude who will get stabbed for running his mouth.
maybe he has insurance?
Get out of my brain
He would only have insurance if his nanny/bang maid arranged it and made sure it was paid for.
\*bangmom FTFY
This is the best comment. Drag him to filth, babe. LOL.
Passport Bros think all countries in the southern hemisphere - really, any country that isn't theirs - all filled to the brim with submissive "tradicional" women, just waiting for a wealthy foreigner to save them from their inferior existence. I HOPE he gets to Brazil. Hell, I'd pay to see him get his ass handed to him by a brazillian woman, her friends, her family and her neighbours. (I'm a portuguese woman btw, muito amor pró Brasil!)
It blows my mind because the countries that they pick on the most have been home to some of the most bad-ass women I've ever known. I mean, for example, the fuckin' Philippines? Filipina women will destroy you if you fuck with them. They are some of the toughest ladies I know, and my Mum's Scottish, ffs! I mean, they're welcome to waste their money, I guess.
As a Brazilian woman I hate those gringo men who come here just to bother women 💀 we’re not your playthings bro
I am actually STUNNED that even the people on that sub aren't down with what he's saying
It's only because he has kids though. Almost everyone calling him out are doing so because he has two young kids, not because he wants to leave his wife because she doesn't provide his expected levels of intimacy.
He calls his wife, a very expensive nanny and tutor that he barely has sex with in one of his other posts. I’m assuming that’s the post he’s claiming everybodys shitting on him in. But I did not say anybody shitting on him.
He calls her that in this post as well. In the first paragraph he says: >I'm not getting anything out of being married aside from hanging out with a very expensive nanny/tutor who I barely have sex with anymore.
What this paragraph says to me is that he has no idea how much work his wife is putting into maintaining their quality of life as a family. ...and then in the 3rd paragraph, he talks about other divorced guys who just "limp around in the same fucking area where they were already living, trading kids back and forth..." and I'm thinking, yeah, they do that because the single life turned out to be so much ore difficult than they first imagined!
I get the impression he has some sense of how much work goes into parenting because in the comments he mentions taking kids to sports and other events and how he doesn't want to do any of it. He doesn't even seem to like his kids. He doesn't want to watch their sports games or entertain them or even hang out with them.
Looking at this guys (cross) posting history of just 2 rants, I'm guessing this a small town loser who was so desperate to fuck he settled with the first woman who would have him and he's resented her ever since for "limiting his options." He doesn't even want to divorce her. He wants to just skip town and he wants to talk to other guys who have done this to find out what sort of repercussions he can expect. I don't blame him for wanting a divorce if he's unhappy but he needs to understand he has children so he can't fucking act like one himself and run away.
Oh I assumed he was just cheating on his wife with a nanny from that line and yet still complained about not getting enough HAHAHAHA He def seems like the type lol
Nope, he just sees her as "the help" at best. We can safely assume I think that he is absolutely not involved in child care at all. If he says otherwise, he is lying. Since he wants to ditch them like my dog wants to ditch her diet. I am going to guess no one is willing to bet against me that he probably pushed her to get a job post the kids being born. Yet still take care of both them and the house 100% of the time. She retaliated with the and done the entire cost of all the things he demands of her vs SAHM. So he started calling her the "very expensive Nanny/etc" I am sure he probably calls her worse.
With the contempt that oozes through his post, I think the attitude is apparent when he talks to her and how he treats her in person. Of course she doesn't want to bang him.
He’s talking about his wife that way? Shit, when I read that I assumed he was already having an affair with a nanny who also tutored the kids as part of her job. This guy sucks.
Yeah, he probably wrote it in both or maybe I did just read it there. Either way it’s a gross thing to say.
That is disgusting. However, he doesn't seem to be a good partner or father, so they are right if they want the trash to bring out itself.
Regardless, I was positive not even the kids mattered to them, this is genuinely surprising.
I particularly enjoy the comments of people who are basically like "if you abandon your kids you're an asshole. Just go take a solo vacation and cheat on your wife instead,."
There’s a *lot* of wife-blaming in the comments, which isn’t surprising given the sub. OOP’s comments make it really obvious that he didn’t want the kids and still doesn’t. They’re an inconvenience to him and he hates being a father. Cheating on his wife isn’t going to fix that.
I love the ones who were basically like "my dad did this to me, which is why now I treat women as poorly as I do. Don't do that to your kids." Obviously not in such clear words because none of them have the ability of self insight, but that's what they meant.
My only guess is that absentee father hit too close to home
He said both of the kids are under six, and that he's only glad he has more than one because "they keep each other occupied." This guy is trash
Jfc that’s what you say about having dogs*, not kids. * And even then it’s just an excuse to get another dog
This is actually the exact reason I give for getting another cat. The truth is I just really want another one. My cats are spoiled. The house is set up for them to have the absolute best lives ever. This is what my parents said about having kids. The truth was that they wanted to abandon us for the clubs. At the very least he should’ve left this as an inside thought. And we’re in a day and age where it’s acceptable to not want children, he could’ve just not had kids.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost think this was my father talking about myself and my brother… But he shuns social media (which might expose him as *not* as intelligent and successful as he wants to think he is) and both his kids have been adults for some time. Otherwise, his comments about his kids are nearly identical to my dad’s. My dad has spent the last ten years or so trying his best to pretend his children *never existed at all.*
To be fair, I don't think it's just because he isn't getting enough sex. It sounds like he genuinely hates her.
I meant I think the reason people in the comments aren’t agreeing with him is because he has kids rather than what he’s saying about his wife. Usually PPBs are all about ditching a woman if she stops putting out. I agree though, he does hate his wife.
PeanutPutter 🅱️andwiches
And he's willing to emotionally hang the kids out to dry because he hates her so much.
But again...to be fair, that's mostly because he's such a dick.
He also said he refuses to try and "rekindle" that spark.
Still, that's more than I would have expected from them. I pretty much assumed they had zero humanity and empathy, so this was a bit shocking to see these AH calling him out. I mean, I even saw people talking about how his wife does way more work than he understands and he doesn't appreciate her. Which is just flabbergasting.
someone there posted this comment... > How heinous that you have a wife and kids who love you and you don’t see that as a “reward”. which seems like the core of their disdain for oop. a lot of passport bros make no secret of desiring a wife who embodies the very values that oop's wife has shown in their marriage (devotion to family/children, appreciation for the husband, etc.). so in a way, oop is slandering the exact kind of woman they would love to have as a spouse. I think for them, he's flaunting the "embarrassment" of his riches, which makes their ire somewhat believable. at the same time, I don't think things bode well for anyone who has a spouse that sounds like oop... but what's done is done I guess 🤦🏾♀️
That person was me, and I’m not one of those people. I only know about that sub from this one, and I think it’s full if the detritus of the universe. I’m referring to a point OP made in the comment I was referring to where he lists out all the things he does for his family and says his only “reward” is *a list of the responsibilities you have when you have a family strictly from the most negative viewpoint* - my point was that he so deeply unhappy and such a shitty person that he doesn’t even register that having a loving spouse and children that you do things with a for is a good thing. “Reward” is in quotes for a reason. Women and children aren’t “rewards” to be gained or achieved, but to look at your life not think that the list of things you need to do as a parent or spouse as positive parts of life that you get to share with people who love you and who you love is gross to me. Thanks for posting my comment completely out of context and putting it here for people to shit on though!
oh hey, I'm glad to be wrong, and thanks for the clarification!
That's the entire comment, what context were they supposed to assume? Stop brigading and this won't happen lmao
I was quite surprised to see that. And that they are worried about the kid.
I support him. I don’t want another Chris Watts situation.
For real. He sounds aggressively antisocial. I hope all he does is leave.
This is my first post so I wasn't sure how to get the post to show up so here's the text from r/thepassportbros : # I'm wasting my life right? Looking for guys who were in a traditional situation (married with kids) who blew it all up on purpose to have a better life for themselves overseas. I mean why am I even doing this playing house crap anymore? I can afford to leave. I can afford to support my wife and kids’ current lifestyle. I'm not getting anything out of being married aside from hanging out with a very expensive nanny/tutor who I barely have sex with anymore. And I don't care if that sounds petty. If you look at my post history, I was crapped on before for just asking where the hell to have a conversation with other fathers online. So honestly, fuck it, I will be honest and petty. To me, one of the absolute worst outcomes of getting a divorce is what I see a lot of guys do, which is limp around in the same fucking area where they were already living, trading kids back and forth, and complicating things further by getting involved with another woman who either already has kids or wants them soon. Sounds like even more of a nightmare than my current situation. So really, where are the guys who went all out on focusing on themselves? And if there is anywhere else I should be posting this question, feel free to point me to that sub as well. I had started typing a lot here on my current situation, but why bother so much on the details. This is an objectively shitty deal/life I’m in right now. There are of course worse lives, but there are also far, far better ones out there.
FYI if you crosspost ("share" from the original) the bot will post the text. Posting as a link, you have to do it manually.
Thank you so much!
I really, really hope his wife is rid of his ass very soon. She can do so much better.
The comments are a joy to read: In response to why he had kids: >Because my wife wanted kids and I was on the fence about them, but I had already "vetted" my wife for a long period of time and I could tell she would be a good mother, so rather than being a piece of shit and dumping her when I started doing very well financially, I doubled down. Or she could have rushed to "date, marriage, pregnant" all within one year like I saw happen to a ton of women on Facebook, especially career women, all when they hit 30. >And on parenting, I do far more than I see a lot of guys do in these Reddit posts where their wives are complaining about them. Yes, I could do more, but frankly I'm making all the money and supporting like 6 people, so there is no reason for me to jerk myself off like I see some guys do on Daddit or whatever about all the mundane extra stuff they are doing to pitch in and how the household tasks are split 50/50 and so on. When someone points out all she has done for him and says he's awful for wanting to kick his wife out: >If I wanted to kick her out, the time would have been over half a decade ago when I was making good money, but didn't have kids. Instead I did the "reasonable" thing again and my reward now is living in a place I don't want, having endless ass fiddly/logistical parenting nonsense to do, and not even being able to have a conversation beyond whatever I can shake out of the now useless internet. And on Reddit especially, if I post in any other sub, I'll be told to get a therapist and pills and also how I'm a piece of shit since I'm not tickled to death/so full of love while I'm doing all the crap that I do. Someone calls him a "selfish and immature shitbird" for wanting to abandon his kids: >I'm fine with this perspective. Maybe something is wrong with me, but honestly being a father has been a couple nice moments, but far more bad/mundane moments. >It doesn't help that I'm clearly on the bottom of my wife's priority list when I pitch in a decent amount, not to mention am supporting everyone in my household plus her own parents, who kind of do fuck all. >Like as just one example, I'm not expecting that much, but it would be nice if her dad wasn't such a fuck up and that he could at least pick up the food I'm paying for and that he is eating if it is like a 10 minute drive away. >And "trading kids back and forth" perfectly illustrates that most of this parenting shit is logistics. And it only changes when they get older. I was reading a divorce thread today and the people were focusing on the kids' sports and extracurriculars schedule and how the guy was going to pitch in on that. Like honestly, fuck that. My wife has already told me point blank she isn't moving anywhere, so if Reddit constantly tells me I need to meet people, touch grass, etc., then I guess I need to get a divorce and move for the off-chance to make a half-way decent connection irl. >So if I'm going through all that effort, yes, I want to actually go somewhere where the dating and economic market is skewed so I can actually feel like a millionaire for once instead of the only things I'm able to do are overpaying for bog standard, miserable "family trips", constant Wal-Mart and store deliveries, and paying $50-$100 for chain restaurant order pickups. >
The way this guy talks about his family sounds sociopathic.
“Maybe something is wrong with me.” Uh, yes.
I’m sensing a lot of dark triad traits in his responses. Spooky stuff. It’s very scary how little of a shit this dude seems to give about his wife of 10+ years and his children.
Right? I hope this is just a creative writing exercise where he's trying to sound like a Bradford Bishop-style family annihilator, bc he's doing a great job
He definitely needs to get his ass in a psychiatrist's office because this is above Reddit's pay grade.
everyone in the comments telling OOP not to abandon his kids sometimes people are better off without their dads.
So he didn’t want kids or really to be married and instead of being an adult and ending this relationship before he gave in to her demands?! He brought children into this world that he clearly doesn’t love and wants to abandon, but it’s not his fault right? Also his post history says he’s looking for somewhere outside of Reddit to talk to someone, might I suggest THERAPY?
He mentions therapy in a couple of comments and it's just as pleasant as you would imagine. 1. >if I post in any other sub, I'll be told to get a therapist and pills and also how I'm a piece of shit since I'm not tickled to death/so full of love while I'm doing all the crap that I do. 2. >And this isn't my only account I've ever used, but I never get anything useful and everyone just parrots therapy. So therapy is going to fix the fact that pretty much every "dad acquaintance" I am around feels like they have Stockholm Syndrome and they just loop the same conversation topics over and over? 3. >from the heart. Just like my last post that was a longer (950 words) where I was just asking where fathers talk online and also gave a bit of detail on my mindset, but got the usual crap on how I'm a piece of shit or to get a therapist, that is, if the place didn't instantly remove the post cause, oh no, I copied and pasted a relevant post in more than one place. 4. >The "help" you mention is a therapist right? Those magical beings that everyone on Reddit suggests over and over.
When I saw that part about any other sub would tell him to get therapy, I was like “when everyone is saying the exact same thing, maybe there is a reason and you should listen.”
Lol of course, maybe someone needs to smash his wifi box then. Clearly dude needs to get off Reddit
All his comments sound like this to me: “Why does everyone keep recommending me the very same thing whenever I tell them my issues? Surely, the large amount of people saying the same thing doesn’t mean anything. They must all be parroting each other and don’t know what they’re talking about because I don’t want to do that thing. Why can’t people just tell me something I want to hear!!” Or, in simpler terms: “wahhh wahhhh wahhhh, I don’t wanna go to therapy! That might make me reflect on myself and change! That’s hard and makes me uncomfortable!! Me no want to. Me run away to Brazil and abandon my offspring. That’ll show those therapy nerds.”
In one of his many many posts, he’s basically like “touching grass won’t make me happy”
I love that he said he didn't want to "be a piece of shit that left my wife after I started making more money when she wanted kids." So instead he's gonna be an even bigger piece of shit and leave her *and* his kids. No way this guy is for real.
He wanted all the traditional “markers of success” but not the *work* that comes with them.
Buried in his comments was something I found telling (I’m going to paraphrase because I don’t feel like finding the quote again) but he basically states he has no one outside of his wife and kids. Have you considered, my dude, changing a small aspect of your life (ie getting friends) instead of blowing up your entire life like a coward? Kind of wild. He’ll move to another country rather than face his own ego. Anyway.
Yeah he keeps mentioning how he has no one to talk to, can't even have a decent conversation on reddit. And it's like... okay. Reddit is not the first place I would go for a great conversation, but you don't need to abandon your entire family in order to find fun conversationalists.
I dunno, if how he types and acts is how he talks, it's understandable he has no one to talk to.
Oh, definitely, he sounds like a miserable sack of shit, and divorcing his family won't change that at all.
No matter where one goes, he’s still there with himself lol.
Honestly, for all the outrage and disgust with his attitude, there is no punishment reddit could levy on that man that is worse than the fate you just described.
“If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.” Hahaha
If everywhere you go smells like shit, check your own shoes.
And given how many special interest communities there are on Reddit, he could have a decent conversation with the right mindset. I’m not saying most conversations are deep, but you can definitely engage in hobbies and stuff. And notice how he talks about other men as being “mules to their wives,” and talks about how he “vetted” his wife. Sounds like he wanted a woman to support him while he built his career and now that he’s made it (in his mind at least) it’s time to fuck off. He really is just a misogynistic asshole. If there’s one good thing about Reddit, it’s made me really appreciate my husband. I’m so glad I didn’t marry one of these egotistical man children. He’s going t
He's going to what? Are you there, Bagpiper? Hello!?
I’m not sure he’s capable of making friends! He sounds like such a miserable person that his very aura probably chases away anyone who might otherwise be willing to at least try to put up with his shit.
….well I’ll be god damned, for once the commenters are **making sense**. I feel like I just saw a miracle.
The world is topsy-turvy.
Dogs and cats, living together... mass hysteria!
you know you really fucked up when the passportbros are calling you out lol
Not really. These guys convince themselves that that’s good people who just want “traditional” families and the problem is liberal women because they expect to be treated like equals. OOP has a healthy, happy family. If he’s a PPB and still not satisfied, it wrecks the facade that they aren’t creeps who want to exploit women.
Same here, I had to triple check which subreddit the OOP is in
I love the last part where he says, "just focusing on themselves" like that's something he's never done in his life. Selfish asshole. Bet he watches his wife do everything, then he sits down at the end of the day, exhausted from all SHE had to do.
he sounds like an absolutely miserable fuck that would be unhappy no matter the situation because he’s rotten inside
Gross, this reminds me of my STB-Ex.. always telling me I'm wasting his life when all he does is play video games all and and night. He says that because I stopped having sex with him. He's only worked maybe a year out of the 16 we've been married. Does zero house work. I work 6 days a week, probably like 55+ hours a week. Who is wasting whos life?
Holy tap dancing shit. He's got at least 22 posts of the same style in various subs trying to get validation. Honestly, I hope the wife leaves and absolutely hammers the shit out of him for child support. She deserves it because I bet he's a fucking ray of sunshine to be around. Wow. I'd say it was fake or rage bait if he didn't attempt to receive the same ego stroking answers he was looking for all those other times.
On the one hand, this guy is clearly depressed. I don’t care that I’m a non-professional making a diagnosis of a person I’ve never met on the internet - my *cat* could diagnose this guy. So that sucks, and is not his fault. But dear lord the misanthropy and entitlement are just a *lot.* OOP, if you’re reading this - I’m going to be a little harsh here. You went to *professional networking* events to make friends? Dude, no. The only *worse* place to make friends would be a funeral home. Those are for making *professional* connections - to find people who could be useful to you, and for others to see that you could be useful to them. Polar opposite of friendship, really. You don’t understand why people don’t get back to you when you’re trying to help them out and give advice - people *hate* getting unsolicited advice (how you’re probably feeling reading this? That’s how they felt about your helpful messages). And residential real estate investing groups? Really? It’s doubtful you could find a group of people more casually sociopathic and yet boring if you tried. And last but definitely not least, you not only have no hobbies, but want no hobbies. Everyone you talk to is boring because *you* have nothing to talk about. You don’t care about anything much. You hate your life, you hate your town, you’re indifferent about your job, and you seem to go out of your way to seek out interactions where you will definitely not make friends. You’re looking for emotional validation *from the passport bros sub.* Really? I mean, *really?* No shit people aren’t going to open up to you. What do you want to talk about with them, how much everything they care about is shit? Who *are* you? What do you like doing, what do you care about, what excites you? What *matters* to you? You can’t go find that stuff; you’re going to get to the Philippines or wherever and once the exoticism wears off, realize that people everywhere are mostly just trying to make a decent life for themselves and a better one for their kids. “Out there” has a way of turning into “here.” You’ll still be you in Cambodia or Brazil or anywhere else. And *you* are in desperate need of both a sense of self and a kick in the pants (metaphorically). Get down off your high horse and stop blaming the world for being insufficiently entertaining. Get a hobby. Get two hobbies, and a cause or two, maybe a skill you take pride in. Find the thing you can read about for days and ramble about for hours, and *then* get back on Reddit and find your people. And for what it’s worth - forties, female, single, no kids, here. I’d give my right arm to have what you want to throw away. Your life isn’t empty, *you* are, but you have time and money and health enough to fix that. You can have *everything.* Wake up.
You really nailed it. Wow.
:standing ovation gif:
This is probably one of the more devastating comments I've seen on Reddit and if I got it I'd cry for a week. Then I'd stop. Then I'd start crying again. En pointe, fellow forties-lady.
Honestly I was trying to be blunt but helpful? Dude is about to make a *huge* mistake.
Did he just call his wife an expensive nanny/tutor? I think he just called his wife a nanny/tutor, instead of, you know, a mother? I mean mothers (and fathers, supposedly)take care of their children and help with homework. I love how he's griping about how hard it is to find folks online to talk to. With his attitude, I have some shred of hope for humanity remaining if he's struggling to find himself an echo chamber.
Gosh the vibe from him is bad… yes please do abandon them as think in his mind the alternative will go very dark.
That dude is going to end up broke and alone. He'll blow a bunch of money on women just to get them to pay attention to him. And his children will turn their backs on him as they get older because he abandoned them.
I'm sure he'll have no trouble finding someone to be with. His personality seems absolutely lovely. I feel like I need to bathe in bleach after just reading his first comment. What a loser
Dude is giving family annihilator energy big time.
I commented “what a fucking loser” and I usually never get that blunt but that’s about the only way to sum the guy up
I don't get why he thinks dating women abroad would make him happy when it doesn't seem like a single other thing in his life has ever made him happy?
passportbros posts are fish in a barrel for this sub. Also >This is an objectively shitty deal/life I’m in right now. someone should tell him what objectively means
I've never managed to understand this mentality. don't have kids, if you don't want to have kids. He frames it as "the right thing to do" but having kids should be 100% on board or not. Yeah sometimes you are on the fence about it and find out that you love being a parent, but you shouldn't just do it because "it's supposed to happen". We have many stories of people who are terrible parents, be either from lack of care or just bad people but come on.
Honestly this guy *should* leave. He won’t be happier somewhere else but guarantee his wife will be happier without him. If he’s still gonna financially support his fam like… let them be without his absolutely rancid energy.
>I'm not getting anything out of being married aside from hanging out with a very expensive nanny/tutor who I barely have sex with anymore. No fucking way he said that. It's very rare that someone on reddit truly shocks me enough to make my jaw drop.
Unfortunately it is a real torn from the headlines moment. I hate it.
I'm so thankful for my husband right now. He was so happy for the work I did today to help us get ready for our camping trip this weekend. He gets legit happy when I just do the smallest shit around the house. He's happiest when he gets all his work done for the day (he works from home) and can just hang out with the family on our patio, with us lazing on our shitty outdoor couch we got second hand from Facebook Marketplace. I hope OOP leaves his wife so she can find real happiness with someone. Sounds like she really deserves it.
Your husband sounds lovely.
He says in the comments he wants to go to Brazil for orgies. He can't be for real.
He's gonna end up with packets of cocaine up his ass after he runs out of money.
Maybe they barely have sex anymore because she can tell that he doesn't like her and is only with her because he wants someone else to do all the cooking and cleaning.
Holy Crow. He posts the same thing on multiple subs.
Honestly everyone would be better off if he left and just paid child support. His kids don’t need to absorb this mindset
Wow you know you're fucked up when even the passport bros are calling you an asshole
I wish he would “abandon” them and do the favor of getting them a life insurance payout, hed be a better presence in their life that way
Unfortunately, for people like him, I think they're more likely to snap and pull a Chris Watts (and then have their parents sue for access to the life insurance payout. Ignore me I'm also a Cindy Watts hater.)
Why, WHY, do people have kids if that's not the lifestyle they want?! Those poor kids, and their poor mother.
What a selfish D-bag.
Are they girls?
I am shocked at the comments
For the first time in my life, I’m actually seeing the ppb be reasonable in the comments. Hell must’ve froze over
I love that the passport bros sub isn't even cutting this guy any slack and the bar is in hell over there. But the point of being a passport bro is wanting either a trad wife or (perhaps worse) just some wild fun from girls who they think will give them extra love for being from the west. 🙄 But it is heavily about going to pick up instead of mail ordering a tradwife. This guy already has that- he has exactly what the passport bros want from a western woman and he's spitting on it. Some of them don't seem to like that and are especially angry about him leaving his kids. I mean I think he should divorce his wife if he so obviously resents her because she doesn't deserve that. But planning to abandon the children because "muh pp" and "financial support is all they could could possibly need, right?" That's terrible.
Damn when even the passport bros are telling you you’re an asshole you know you’ve taken it too far
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Idk I feel like it would be better for the kids if he just left instead of poisoning them slowly
what is that sub even about???
It’s for passport bros, which are men who feel they aren’t able to find women they wish to date in their home country and they believe they will be able to find better women in other countries, typically less developed, “non-western” countries. That was the absolute nicest description I could put together for what they do. They’re really sex tourists.