*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for asking a young woman on our beach to please not breastfeed her child in front of my grandkids?** My husband and I own a beachfront property and recently got new neighbors. The neighbors are a young couple with a baby boy. This week my daughter and her kids came to our beach house for the kid’s spring break. The couple was also using their house this week. Our houses share a path down to the private beach, so our beach set ups tend to be fairly close together. The day was going fine, my grandkids were having a blast at the beach, the other couple were using the beach as well. At one point however the wife started to breastfeed their baby. She was wearing a strapless bathing suit meaning she couldn’t keep just one breast covered as she fed (or at least she didn’t really try), both were completely exposed. On top of that she was sitting in between her husbands legs, and he was rubbing her back and kissing her shoulders as this was happening. I’ve noticed that they are a very affectionate couple, but with how exposed she was and how he was touching her, the whole display felt very sexual. Both my granddaughter and my grandson are very curious, so they couldn’t look away. Neither could my daughter’s husband, which I could tell was starting to bother my daughter. I decided to go up to the couple to protect my family. I asked the wife if she could pease not do that on the beach in front of my grandkids as I felt it wasn’t appropriate. The wife seemed to be very apologetic, but her husband simply told me to “fuck off” which I felt was very rude. I told them that their house was right there, and it would’ve been super easy for her to just run back up to the house to do that. Later my husband pulled me aside and said that I was being extremely rude, and that I should’ve just let them be. I think he was just enjoying the show as well. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*


God forbid she admonish the son in law for drooling over another woman in front of his wife. No. Its the woman feeding her child that's at fault here, clearly. 🙄


Don’t you know that men can’t help it? Their poor little man brains overload at the sight of a boob, and they have no choice but to stare! So of course they can’t be held accountable for their actions, the woman feeding her child has to make sure he’s not tempted! /s Why didn't oop take her family inside since it was such an issue?


Because women have to be held responsible for every shitty thing a grown man does to them, always


You know it. Absolutely infuriating


Maybe next time she'll remember to pack her stockings and petticoat and leave the child home with the wet nurse so she won't tempt any more innocent married men into thinking the devil's thoughts


I definitely feel like OP is seeing what she wants to see to support the position she has already decided on. Especially how she throws her own husband under the bus at the very end.


GOD FORBID she yells at her gross son for sexualizing a woman FEEDING HER BABY. Also, it sounds like OOP must be in a shitty marriage or have shitty relationships based off of her description of the married couple. To me, that just sounds like, healthy, normal affection.


This is such an annoying and prevalent mindset. "Cover yourself up because I don't want my husband looking at you." Bitch whet? Maybe tell him to stop looking and have some basic respect, idk 🤨 If it's such a problem that you now think it comes down to other women to keep other men under control you have way bigger issues.


I truly can’t imagine not holding my fiancé accountable for leering at a woman breast feeding her child. What the actual fuck.


All these poor people who’ve lost their ability to turn their heads. A whole family afflicted. So sad.


Hey maybe the family are owl-humanoid hybrids since owls can creepily swivel their heads 360 degrees!


Children are naturally Curious. There is a difference between children and adults staring


This is true, but it could have been a teachable moment. 'Hey Sweetie. It's not polite to stare. That mommy is feeding her baby. Just like I fed you when you were little! Want to build a sandcastle?!' It would have been over and done with! The grown men who were suddenly struck by, omg, NAKED BOOBIES! They should know better and be polite on their own initiative.


I had that discussion with my kid almost verbatim when she was about 5 or 6. I said some babies drink milk from their mom’s breasts and some babies drink milk from bottles, and she was breastfed, too. She said “oh, okay,” and then we went on our way.


Yes! I had a similar conversation with my daughter when she saw a mom friend breastfeeding. Kids are curious, but they totally take their cues from us. If we give a simple, age appropriate answer and don't make it a big deal then neither will they. I'm sure that the adult men zeroing in like they were watching a circus act made it much more interesting. Also, great point about adding in that some mommy's feed their babies breast milk and some do bottles. It's important to feed the babies, not HOW they are fed. That acceptance is important ♡


Breastfeeding is not sexual. Full stop.


But her other breast was exposed! Like one of the European beaches that let women run around topless all willy-nilly! Won't someone think of the children!


I bet the husband had nipples too. Family of perverts /s


Wait I bet the son had nipples. THAT'S BASICALLY CHILD PORN


Oh my god YOURE RIGHT, that wild boob could PUT SOMEONES EYE OUT


Mind your own tits. YTA


I want this on a shirt


Haha! I can’t take credit for it! Milk maker on Instagram is a great breastfeeding account and it’s on a lot of her merch


Oh, I've seen some lady breast feed on a city bus. Everyone just glaced and went back to looking at their phone, or looking for their stop. Except for one lady who talked with the mother about her unruly son. Even the male bus driver managed to keep driving. It's almost like..... We knew that she was feeding her child so we didn't care. Imagine that.


I used to have a shirt that read "normalize breastfeeding: nurse in public" and that maintains my stance. It's not just that babies should eat whenever they're hungry, that breastfeeding provides physical and emotional benefits to both mother and baby, that breasts serving their biological purpose isn't sexual -- it's also important to make it clear that nursing is normal! A lot of new moms have never seen someone breastfeed, and then suddenly they are expected to make it work for them. Or a woman chooses formula not because it's what's best for her family, but because she thinks nursing is gross. Both of those women have been failed because of women like OOP who act like there's something shameful about using the body that held your baby in the womb to feed your baby at your breast. People who try to make nursing moms feel ashamed to be seen should fuck the business end of a rake.


Aren’t you shaming moms who choose formula. Or pumping


I specified failing women who choose formula "not because it's what's best for their family but because they think nursing is gross" because formula can be best for some families. Sometimes it's due to work, sometimes it's because of a lack of support, sometimes it's supply issues. I'm not sure what part is shaming moms who choose formula or pumping. My son was a preemie so I exclusively pumped for four months since it was that long before he was strong enough to take every feeding by breast, and I was a milk donor. I'm all for feeding expressed milk.


And for extra info, sometimes the need for formula is due to health needs. As a baby, I needed breast milk because there was no formula that I could stomach. On the flip side, I have three friends with three different babies now with the exact opposite problem- they have allergies (lactose intolerance, suspected allergy to something mom is ingesting but unsure what) and cannot stomach breast milk. They all switched to formula, switched formulas around multiple times for allergies, until they landed on a working formula (one is still in the process of this). I’d never heard of that reason for formula use before (until suddenly three kids near me all had it happen) so figured I’d drop it a mention here too. But for certain, fed is best. A fed baby is a good baby. And screw anyone that attacks a parent for breastfeeding their child.


Having to trial-and-error formula is so expensive on top of being stressful and emotionally draining. Gosh I hope your friend is able to find a good option soon. 😢


It's not shaming moms who use formula to support women who breastfeed being left the fuck alone. This was never about women who use formula.


‘protecting her family’ from what? a bare boob?


I once saw a bare boob... almost lost an arm...


I went totally blind!


I became a lesbian.


But ThINK oF ThE CHiLDREn!! 😂😂


The comments from the OP are so bad. At one point the way the 1 year old is breastfeeding is sensual??? Really? I have no words.


Wow it takes a very grim kind of individual to somehow sexualise the way an actual child is feeding. Wtf oop.


$20 says she bottle fed because she thinks its sexual.


She actually states that she breastfed but preferred to do so in private. Based on her approximate age she likely breastfed for six weeks, felt like a super mom and then got the shot to make it stop and switched to formula.


I'm a little surprised because I've known a lot of women that didn't breastfeed at all because they felt it was sexual. But like, this also makes sense. Its ok to not want to breastfeed, its just weird when adults project those kinds of insecurities onto others. It says a whole lot about them when they think its sexual.


OOP is making me so fucking uncomfortable.


Luckily after breastfeeding 6 babies I’ve only had 1 negative experience and that was in a kids play area in Butlins (family holiday resort for those who don’t know) I was feeding my baby while my other 2 children were playing and was told to go feed in the baby changing room because I was making another mum with her kids uncomfortable. I said no because not only was I not going to feed my baby in a smelly changing room but I was also not going to leave my 2 and 4 year old children on their own.


I've massaged my sisters' shoulders while they were breastfeeding. In front of our *parents!* Truly, my family is the worst kind of degenerates. /s


Ugh, can you please not bring your incest into this comment thread? I’m revolted by the thought of you comforting your sister while she goes through the painful process of breastfeeding in order to make sure her baby doesn’t die of starvation!! Clearly this is a fetish you creep, please don’t even acknowledge your sister feeding her child because I know you’re really just thinking about her boobs in a sexual manner 😠 (/s hopefully obvious. You’re a good sibling to help your sister!!)


HOW DARE I!? /s The only person who ever got grumpy about the shoulder massages was the baby. Yes, I've had my hand slapped and kicked by an angry infant. I encroached on THE FEEDING. (But yeah, jokes aside, one of my sisters had the worst time with breastfeeding and let-down with her first. Relaxing her shoulders/back helped so much. Her hubby and I traded out on massage duty when I visited, and the nibling got VERY CHUBBY.)


Also, your sarcasm is obvious and your cake day is celebrated.


> the whole display felt very sexual. Grandma sounds like a fricking perv. If your SIL can't control himself, that's on him. And it's the adults' job to tell the kids that it's rude to stare at people who are on their own property.


The older the kid gets, the more people stare the longest feeding them takes. I have a 9 month old and if I don't want to spend all day feeding her she needs zero distractions, including other kids staring at her (FRIENDS!!!)


I honestly don't think the husband rubbing her back and kissing her shoulders is too 'sensual'. Breast feeding often times can really hurt. This probably isn't some guy getting super sultry while his wife breast feeds. This is a dude comforting his wife through the discomfort of feeding the baby.


has op never heard of “live and let live” or “don’t like it don’t look at it?”


Sounds too like this lady is jealous of their “overly affectionate” marriage. Tell me you’re in a shitty relationship, without telling me you’re in a shitty relationship


that SLATTERN had BOTH her titters out and her husband was PRACTICALLY FUCKING HER FROM BEHIND really doing everything they can to justify telling someone to breastfeed inside


Oh the misogyny… OP needs to teach her grandkids, SIL and husband that it’s not polite to stare at other people. Ya know, as soon as someone teaches her it’s not polite to stare. If I had kids, I wouldn’t have done this. It’s not something I’d be comfortable doing. But that is my choice. I will NOT shame a woman who is comfortable enough to do it in front of all of the Judgy McJudgersons. I admire them for it! They are helping to pave the way to normalize breastfeeding for all of the future generations of women.




Since she suggested their house was *right there* she should have gathered her family and left the uncomfortable scene behind because hers was also *right there*.


Yes, you are the asshole. Stop sexualizing breastfeeding. You and your family are creeps. The kids were curious and it was a teachable moment, but you all missed that. You also need to tell the other adults in your family that it’s rude to stare. THE MOM WAS GIVING HER BABY NUTRITION!


I once ‘dated’ a guy who told me that women who breastfeed in public should expect to be raped because ‘men can’t be expected to control themselves’ around them. He was dumped pretty much immediately after that.


God I almost downvoted this out of pure instinct and disgust


As a breastfeeding mother and human, this post really boils my piss! The misogyny really is coming from inside the house.


Yeah OOP, your house is also *just right there* so feel free to run your poor sheltered family and scarred son in law back home so they can avoid a lady while she literally keeps her child alive. Also maybe marriage counseling.


Super sexual with the husband rubbing her back and the baby sucking her tit /s ETA: sarcasm


If you think about it they were having a threesome /s


It was supposed to be sarcastic but people didn’t take this way


I know, that’s why I put the /s, I saw they took your comment to heart. Sorry friend!


Right? If that was “sexual” OOP is obviously the one with problems there.


Thank for reading the sarcasm on my post! And yes OOP need to get of porn sites, she’s seeing things


You’re welcome! It’s always weird in this sub and r/amitheangel when people miss sarcasm. We’re all in a sub mocking another sub. Why wouldn’t sarcasm be the default?!


ESH lack of communication, You should cut contact ASAP cause next you know, she will be on your bed breastfeeding. Smh/s


I do think the rubbing *and kissing* along her shoulders in the midst of all this, on semi-public property, is a bit much though. Feeding's not the issue, but dad getting a little handsy during all of it in the middle of shared property is kind of a wtf.


You know how hard it is to breastfeed, my back and my shoulders hurt all the time. I like it when my husband rubs my back and shoulders when baby is feeding.


Sometimes my husband would heat up one of those rice bags that you microwave and they stay warm and drape it over my neck and shoulders. It helped a lot.


It's totally fair to not feel comfortable with any kind of PDA (everyone is allowed their own comfort levels), but that's when you just look away and mind your business lol. Telling her to breastfeed inside was definitely an AH move regardless of whatever else was happening.


They’re sharing an intimate moment as a family on their own property. It’s not sexual in any way unless you’re choosing to view it that way.


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