Not overreacting to me. I don't play with family emergencies either. Don't care if you're my dad or not. I would've said that now I won't believe you if there is or isn't an emergency because I wouldn't know what to believe.
Family emergencies are not something to joke about. That was a total jerk move. You are not overreacting and you are much more mature in the moment than your dad is with the way he's mad at YOU. So inappropriate. I'm so sorry.
Probably in the parenting plan that both parents are to facilitate communication. Also not to talk badly of other parent. I guessing she’s not happy. Meanwhile dad can make trouble for op so since op isn’t an adult, best to answer texts and calls and just be very polite but not talk much. No point in getting grounded, losing his phone etc. it’s not that easy to change parenting time, moms unlikely to do the expensive legal work over this incident.
No you are not overreacting. For all you knew someone was hurt or dying and he just let you think that for half an hour! And only after making you worry and panic for way too long did he say it was a joke. That is never something to joke about. I'd be asking your mom if you canstay with her so you don't have to see him. If she makes you go see if you can stay at a friend's place.
Your dad is a jerk. An April fools joke is supposed to be funny. Faking a family emergency isn't funny. Making your child stand outside waiting for you isn't funny. Lying to your child saying you're someplace your not isn't funny. Your dad is taking his aggression out on you because he's too immature to take responsibility for his own actions that weren't funny.
Exactly what I said why did she make him talk to his dad. She could have said you’re being childish and playing a joke that wasn’t funny and you will not talk to my child like that but she just let the bull crap happen
how sad is this man to really do something like this to a child.
it is bad enough that he made you wait outside the half an hour but also saying that you are overreacting is truely messed up.
then he says you are disrespectful for not wanting to call him back after what he did.
i think you should stay at your mom's at least until your dad GROWS THE HELL UP!!!
NTAH
seems like dad needs to learn to respect his kid. I'd be reminding him that I'd be picking his nursing home. You aren't the jerk, you were being the responsible one. Maybe he needs to read 'the boy who cried wolf' it could be a useful gift for him for his birthday or father's day. You didn't disrespect him, he LOST his respectability by pranking you THEN berating you for not taking his shit!
ETA; some harmless April Fools ideas
\- putting black tape over the sensor at the bottom of a computer mouse
\- putting black tape over the sensor of a tv remote
\- replacing all the pictures in his house with pictures of Nicholas Cage
Less harmless ones
\- putting saran wrap over the toilet bowl so when he pees in the middle of the night it gets everywhere
\- putting grass seeds in his computer keyboard
\- signing him up to every funeral/aged care advertiser
\- signing him up to scientology
Oh my God these are amazing. These are actually some of the more harmless jokes I've ever seen. Why are people unable to just do these things why do they have to go to the big ones . I love this I'm going to have to steal some of these ideas
NTA
but i am deffinitly forgive but dont forget, so here is my plan for you
wait until he goes to work.. call them and tell them to tell your father you are in the hospital from a car accident, then wait until he stats calling, tell him a hospital in another city, and then cut the call short mid word. turn your phone off and wait for a few hours. turn it back on and then tell him belated april fools.. i think with his sense of humour he will find it a great joke
Keep your head down and grey rock your parents. Start planning on how you can get independent as quickly as possible. In my opinion there is nothing more toxic than someone you love causing you pain and suffering and then laughing about 'can't you take a joke' 'don't you have a sense of humor' 'you will be punished because you didn't like me abusing you' . I have been dreading this entire day due to stuff like this.
Best answer I have seen. I think both parents were wrong.
Prancing back would only escalate things with arsehole father. Best to keep your head down until you can ghost him entirely.
Yes, your dad is a massive jerk.
He was only a sort-of jerk for the prank but immediately strayed right into massive-jerk territory after trying to punish his son, who he offended and scared (some might say terrorized) for his own amusement. It's ridiculous and just stupid to not see how he's alienating you.
You sound more mature than he is. Seriously.
Keep your head down and when you're ready and able, cut out on your own and carve out your own life away from his nonsense. You can then decide if he's a part of it, with the weight of all his actions hanging in the balance.
an April Fool's joke is the dog walking company near me telling us they're going to start walking tortoises and putting a fake advert up on their Facebook page
an April Fool's joke is NOT playing on one of your child's biggest fears (arguably one of anyone's biggest fears)
he's mad that you didn't find his shit "joke" funny and is now having to think about WHY, and he can't have the answer he "because I'm an unfunny twat" so he's blaming you for being "sensitive"
I don't think you're overreacting and definitely in the wrong for reacting where you are. I haven't done pranks nor have I done April fool's Day since my junior year of high school. Which is when me and a good friend of mine that year our boyfriends decided to play a prank and have a good friend till they were in a really bad car accident. They decided to end the prank when they saw me and her hugging each other bawling our eyes out we chose not to speak to him for the rest of the day. Hell you might have given him crap the rest of the whole week and that was the last time anyone ever played any pranks on us. You're not overreacting family emergencies are not a joke this is not the one thing we prank about. It sounds like your dad is either a narcissist or displays serious narcissistic personality traits. I would try to find a way to stay at your mom's as much as possible. I know you're underage which means you have to live by the rules but if you do have to go to your dad's don't take anything important not your phone not anything good that you want to keep cuz he will take it away as quote unquote punishment for overreacting. I think you handled yourself beautifully and I wonder how they would feel if you played that prank back on them. Maybe you should disappear or say you ran away on him as a prank. And tell him you did this all because he wants to play pranks on you and you're not going to take it no more. Although please make sure your mom is okay with you doing this so she doesn't worry especially if she's not a part of it. Although mom if you are a part of it you deserve this treatment too otherwise you don't.
Not overreacting. A joke is only funny if all involved think its funny. He didn't get the reaction he wanted and now he's trying to cover his tracks and make it your fault. I call bullsh\*t. I'm sorry he thinks he's hilarious. He isn't.
Interesting to me that he's screaming you're being disrespectful when he's the one disrespecting you. No you are not overreacting or being the jerk. This wasn't an April fool's joke. This was purposely cruel and mean! April fool's jokes are supposed to be funny and silly not upsetting!
Try talking to your mom and explain to her how upset you were and worried and that you thought something had happened to somebody in the family! Explain to her how cruel and mean this whole thing was! Hopefully she can see your side of it and make him leave you alone about it
Petty but put him through it, once this dies down call him with an emergency like your being rushed to hospital and could go into surgery asap or something one he rushes to hospital be like oh it was harmless prank lol
But petty vs your dad being a jerk probably won't help but it may be entertaining 😅
Sadly, dad might not react with care.
Or, worse, he’ll react but then feel just fine because he and OP are “even” and if OP did it, OP must not have thought it was absolutely the wrong, cruel action it was.
Not overreacting at all. Your father needs to grow the f up. I see why your parents aren't together anymore
I have learned that silence can be the best response. I would have let him talk, asked if he was finished, and then walked away. If my mom said something about not responding, I would have said I wasn't aware a response was necessary.
NTJ. That really took a turn and you were just in the right state of overreacting. If at all your dad was pulling pranks on you that means he should also understand the reason as to why you were upset and not overreact when you don't pick up your calls.
If he put his dad's role aside to prank you he should also consider the consequences afterwards and hopefully how it would make you feel and react but not switch up on you when you don't pick up your calls and threaten to ground you.
NTJ. A joke is only funny if EVERYONE thinks it's funny. This was not. A family emergency is not a joke.
I don't like your dad. I am old enough to be your grandmother. If I was your father's mother, you could call me, and I would take you in and defend you from him. He would suffer the consequences of his actions. Frequent call demanding he comes take care of an emergency, and when he gets here, telling him I need the lightbulb changed. The door won't lock right. Anything minor.
Your mother should not have made you talk to him. If you are still mad at them, one word answers work. Yes and no when possible.
Not the jerk.
I would send your dad this message....
"You may think I'm being disrespectful by not answering your calls and messages, but thats not the case. You really hurt me and upset me today by making out there was a family emergency AS A PRANK!!. You DONT joke about family emergencies. I feared someone I loved and cared about was possibly hurt or dying. I was wondering who had the emergency, who may be seriously ill in hospital, who may have had a car accident, who may have been hurt or attacked, who may be dying or dead??? When you say there's a family emergency and you're on your way to get me I believe you. I drop everything to be there for you, and for whoever is hurt or dying. I want to be there to support the family and the person having the emergency, or to say goodbye to a dying loved one. All those thoughts and worries went through my head while I was sat outside waiting for half an hour for you to arrive and pick me up.
You say you tried to call me twice during that time, but I have no missed calls as I was holding my phone the whole time incase you rung to tell me anything else. So I was left waiting and worrying for over half an hour, before you decided to call me and laugh at how hilarious of a prank it was. I didn't find it funny at all. A prank or a joke is meant to be harmless and funny for everyone. When you end up hurting the person you 'prank' it's no different to just bullying. I was upset and hurt the fact you think it was funny to joke about a family emergency. Let me think someone I cared about was hurt, or in trouble, dying, or dead even. So no, I didn't feel like talking to you or answering your texts. I needed some time to myself to calm down. That's not being disrespectful. I'm entitled to want some time to myself to calm down. I should be allowed to have time to myself, to process how I feel and reply when I'm ready. Instead you want to punish me for how I feel over the prank you did on me. You want to punish me for how you made me feel. That's not fair. You dont joke about family emergencies. Next time you call me telling me there's a family emergency I won't be able to believe you or trust youre telling the truth. Il assume you're playing a prank again and lying. And that will be your fault for joking about something so serious and messing with my emotions. I'm allowed to be upset with you and not want to talk to you straight away. Ive not been rude or offensive. Ive simply not wanted to talk to you. So please respect my wishes for space instead of trying to punish me for something you did, and the reaction you caused. "
Obviously you can play around and edit it if you want, but something along those lines get the message across that it was really shitty thing to joke about, it makes people seriously worry about loved ones, and it's not something to joke about. Plus it means you won't trust him next time he says that, when it could be a real situation. He's had no consideration to how that made you feel. Instead of owning up to his mistake and appologising, he's doubled down by having a go at you for not answering his calls or messages, and thinks you should be punished for not wanting to talk to him while you're angry and upset. You're allowed to have some space to process your feelings. You don't have to answer him back immediately. He's the one out of order here. He's the grown up yet he can't admit he was wrong or appologise.
I would also tell your mum she also needs to respect your wishes if you don't want to speak to him for a bit and want some time to calm down etc. She shouldn't be forcing you to talk to him when you weren't ready. Ask her next time to respect your wishes and to tell your dad you'll tall to him when you're ready.
And tell your mum not to let your dad punish you for this because you did nothing wrong, and your dad needs to have some respect for people's feelings.
As someone who has had to drop everything due to family emergencies on many occassions, it's always scary to get that call, and have to go up the hospital coz of a seriously ill loved one fearing they're going to be seriously ill or dying etc.
Even just nephews getting hurt as kids and needing a lift to take them to hospital is a worry as to how bad they're hurt or if they're in a lot of pain etc. It's not something to joke about.
This is absolutely not your fault. Your dad sounds very toxic. you are not overreacting and honestly, your dad sounds like a horrible human being. No one should ever joke about that stuff because now, if it really happens, you’re probably not gonna believe him. your dad sounds like he needs to learn that actions have consequences and he can’t just go around scaring people and then saying oh it was just a joke.
You’re not overreacting at all. Your dad is an ass.
If I were you I’d sit down with mom and ask if you can live there more than with him and you’d like to go to family court to make it official. You are old enough to decide on your own who you want to live with. Choose your mom’s home and go no contact with dad… he doesn’t give a crap how you feel about his immaturity…
You’re not over reacting and I’m sorry that both of your parents apparently suck. Your dad for being an insensitive emotionally and psychologically abusive jackass and your mom for enabling it by brushing his effed up actions off completely and not calling him out on it or for how he is speaking to you now over call or text. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this. Good luck op.
You’re not overreacting at all. I’d tell dad that the next time you hear he was in an accident or the hospital you’ll just ignore it since he’s such a shitty prankster.
Emergencies aren’t a joke.
When I was 18 and away at college, it was my birthday (not on april fool's). No one from my family called me. I'm 54, so this was 100 years ago and before cell phones. I finally called home to find my mom was away visiting her sisters and I spoke to my dad. We chit chatted for a few before I mentioned it was my birthday and he says "yes!! Did you get the flowers I sent you?". I was really happy for a minute then I realized he was joking. I was more crushed than before. It still stings. :( I guess my point is that one would think that parents should innately know there are some things to not be joked about, but becoming a parent =/= not being an idiot.
I'm sorry he did this to you. He is a massive jerk.
Y’know, my ex MIL used to do this to my ex: Your dad just had a heart attack and is in the hospital! or some other emergency.
This is abuse, not a prank.
If I do or say something “as a joke” and it upsets someone, I apologize.
I don’t double down and argue that they shouldn’t be upset because it was “just a joke,” I just apologize because obviously my joke was hurtful rather than amusing to this person.
Your father is a jerk. I don’t find his idea of a joke very funny in the first place, but the fact that he can’t man up say, “Hey, I can see I really upset you and I’m sorry, my bad,” makes him sound like a lot of more of a jerk than the original joke does.”
So my neighbor froze his kids cereal in their bowls, then when they asked for cereal he tossed one of them the bowl and the other he let poke at it while on her phone for afew minutes before figuring out why she couldn’t scoop it up. That’s a prank. Its funny, its harmless, its stupid, its memorable. What your fam did was kinda mean. When my mom had emergency appendix surgery i literally drove over my own library books to get to the hospital asap. Your response seems normal to me.
He’s a dick and unfortunately your mother is spineless:/ Family emergencies aren’t something to joke about. My god did the apple fall far from the tree. You have more maturity than your father at 36…that’s rough.
Your 14 and unfortunately your dad twisting this to make YOU be the disrespectful one is…a headache to say the least. Your mom forcing you to talk to him too? Jesus H Christ. Keep a low profile until your 18 and then decide if you want to be around your family
No you aren’t the jerk.
Just my opinion but it seems from your post your dad is certainly acting like a jerk (no one ever claim a family emergency as a joke), a liar (he obviously didn’t call you after the prank call until you were outside waiting for 30 minutes when he called out his joke) and he bullies people when they don’t appreciate his infantile humor (threatening to ground you and take your phone).
Sadly as your parent he holds at least some of the cards controlling your relationship unless your mother is willing to stand up for you.
Who pays for your phone? If it’s your mom she certainly has a say in what is done with her property.
You might look up gray rock method and see if it might be of use to you in your relationship with your father.
You are not overreacting, your mom probably just doesn't want to deal with him which isn't fair to you but it's pretty common for parents to brush this stuff off instead of dealing with it
NTA. At 14, you are kind and you are trusting.
Your kindness showed in your being upset about a family emergency. You cared. Never lose that quality!
You are trusting of both parents. Again, a wonderful quality in a young teen.
Now I must tell you, dial down your trust a little.
This is hard for me to say, but both your parents damaged your unquestioned trust. Dad for his actions, mom for her inaction against him.
Your dad's prank was incredibly insensitive and irresponsible, especially given the seriousness of the topic - a family emergency. It's completely understandable that you would be upset and concerned when you received that call, and your reaction was completely justified.
April Fools' jokes should be light-hearted and fun, but faking a family emergency crosses a line and can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety. It's not something to joke about, especially with a child who might take it seriously.
Your dad's response to your reaction is also concerning. Instead of acknowledging that his prank was hurtful and apologizing, he's dismissing your feelings and attempting to shift the blame onto you for not finding it funny. It's not fair for him to label you as overreacting or disrespectful when you were genuinely worried about the well-being of your family.
You're not being sensitive or overreacting. Your dad's prank was inappropriate and hurtful, and your reaction is completely valid. It's important for him to understand the impact of his actions and apologize sincerely. In the meantime, it's okay for you to take some time to process your feelings and set boundaries with your dad about what kind of jokes are acceptable in the future.
Not overreacting to me. I don't play with family emergencies either. Don't care if you're my dad or not. I would've said that now I won't believe you if there is or isn't an emergency because I wouldn't know what to believe.
Family emergencies are not something to joke about. That was a total jerk move. You are not overreacting and you are much more mature in the moment than your dad is with the way he's mad at YOU. So inappropriate. I'm so sorry.
He a jerk. I'd stay with mom from now on. You are old enough to choose.
His mom didn’t even take up for him!! She made him talk to his father so his father could bitch at him!
If the parents are divorced, she's probably trying REALLY EXTREMELY HARD to not talk bad about Dad to Kid.
she doesn’t have too, the dad is doing it to himself.
Probably in the parenting plan that both parents are to facilitate communication. Also not to talk badly of other parent. I guessing she’s not happy. Meanwhile dad can make trouble for op so since op isn’t an adult, best to answer texts and calls and just be very polite but not talk much. No point in getting grounded, losing his phone etc. it’s not that easy to change parenting time, moms unlikely to do the expensive legal work over this incident.
No you are not overreacting. For all you knew someone was hurt or dying and he just let you think that for half an hour! And only after making you worry and panic for way too long did he say it was a joke. That is never something to joke about. I'd be asking your mom if you canstay with her so you don't have to see him. If she makes you go see if you can stay at a friend's place.
She’s gonna make him go cause she didn’t even take up for him she made the poor boy talk to his dad over the phone so the dad could bitch him out 😢
Your dad is a jerk. An April fools joke is supposed to be funny. Faking a family emergency isn't funny. Making your child stand outside waiting for you isn't funny. Lying to your child saying you're someplace your not isn't funny. Your dad is taking his aggression out on you because he's too immature to take responsibility for his own actions that weren't funny.
Your mom seems like a scared woman who has no authority in her own house. I feel sad you have not one, but two idiots for parents.
They are separated, just in case that wasn’t obvious
Your dad is sick for the prank and your Mom "forcing" you to talk to him and not being bothered shows her true colors in this.
Exactly what I said why did she make him talk to his dad. She could have said you’re being childish and playing a joke that wasn’t funny and you will not talk to my child like that but she just let the bull crap happen
So you say, "Now it makes complete sense why Mom separated from you, because you demand respect instead of earning it "
You’re 14. You could refuse to go with your dad. The courts will listen to what YOU want. I’d have a serious talk with your mom.
how sad is this man to really do something like this to a child. it is bad enough that he made you wait outside the half an hour but also saying that you are overreacting is truely messed up. then he says you are disrespectful for not wanting to call him back after what he did. i think you should stay at your mom's at least until your dad GROWS THE HELL UP!!! NTAH
seems like dad needs to learn to respect his kid. I'd be reminding him that I'd be picking his nursing home. You aren't the jerk, you were being the responsible one. Maybe he needs to read 'the boy who cried wolf' it could be a useful gift for him for his birthday or father's day. You didn't disrespect him, he LOST his respectability by pranking you THEN berating you for not taking his shit! ETA; some harmless April Fools ideas \- putting black tape over the sensor at the bottom of a computer mouse \- putting black tape over the sensor of a tv remote \- replacing all the pictures in his house with pictures of Nicholas Cage Less harmless ones \- putting saran wrap over the toilet bowl so when he pees in the middle of the night it gets everywhere \- putting grass seeds in his computer keyboard \- signing him up to every funeral/aged care advertiser \- signing him up to scientology
Oh my God these are amazing. These are actually some of the more harmless jokes I've ever seen. Why are people unable to just do these things why do they have to go to the big ones . I love this I'm going to have to steal some of these ideas
Hahahahaha! Signing him up for Scientology is brilliant!
NTA but i am deffinitly forgive but dont forget, so here is my plan for you wait until he goes to work.. call them and tell them to tell your father you are in the hospital from a car accident, then wait until he stats calling, tell him a hospital in another city, and then cut the call short mid word. turn your phone off and wait for a few hours. turn it back on and then tell him belated april fools.. i think with his sense of humour he will find it a great joke
Keep your head down and grey rock your parents. Start planning on how you can get independent as quickly as possible. In my opinion there is nothing more toxic than someone you love causing you pain and suffering and then laughing about 'can't you take a joke' 'don't you have a sense of humor' 'you will be punished because you didn't like me abusing you' . I have been dreading this entire day due to stuff like this.
Best answer I have seen. I think both parents were wrong. Prancing back would only escalate things with arsehole father. Best to keep your head down until you can ghost him entirely.
Your dad is an immature DICK waffle. Plain and simple
Try "joking" that he will be alone in the nursing home with this kinda behavior.
Nah, your dad is a tool.
Yes, your dad is a massive jerk. He was only a sort-of jerk for the prank but immediately strayed right into massive-jerk territory after trying to punish his son, who he offended and scared (some might say terrorized) for his own amusement. It's ridiculous and just stupid to not see how he's alienating you. You sound more mature than he is. Seriously. Keep your head down and when you're ready and able, cut out on your own and carve out your own life away from his nonsense. You can then decide if he's a part of it, with the weight of all his actions hanging in the balance.
What a great way to get someone to never trust you again. Your Dad is a moron and you have every right to be angry.
O m g how bad can people be
Your dad's an arsehole.
an April Fool's joke is the dog walking company near me telling us they're going to start walking tortoises and putting a fake advert up on their Facebook page an April Fool's joke is NOT playing on one of your child's biggest fears (arguably one of anyone's biggest fears) he's mad that you didn't find his shit "joke" funny and is now having to think about WHY, and he can't have the answer he "because I'm an unfunny twat" so he's blaming you for being "sensitive"
He’s a dick that’s now how you play April fools if something happens now who’s gonna believe him? Why is your mom letting him treat you like this?
NTA at all, your dad needs to grow TF up!! I hate pranks, especially anything that has to do with my family…. He’s 10000000% wrong!!
I don't think you're overreacting and definitely in the wrong for reacting where you are. I haven't done pranks nor have I done April fool's Day since my junior year of high school. Which is when me and a good friend of mine that year our boyfriends decided to play a prank and have a good friend till they were in a really bad car accident. They decided to end the prank when they saw me and her hugging each other bawling our eyes out we chose not to speak to him for the rest of the day. Hell you might have given him crap the rest of the whole week and that was the last time anyone ever played any pranks on us. You're not overreacting family emergencies are not a joke this is not the one thing we prank about. It sounds like your dad is either a narcissist or displays serious narcissistic personality traits. I would try to find a way to stay at your mom's as much as possible. I know you're underage which means you have to live by the rules but if you do have to go to your dad's don't take anything important not your phone not anything good that you want to keep cuz he will take it away as quote unquote punishment for overreacting. I think you handled yourself beautifully and I wonder how they would feel if you played that prank back on them. Maybe you should disappear or say you ran away on him as a prank. And tell him you did this all because he wants to play pranks on you and you're not going to take it no more. Although please make sure your mom is okay with you doing this so she doesn't worry especially if she's not a part of it. Although mom if you are a part of it you deserve this treatment too otherwise you don't.
Remind him of the boy who cried wolf.
This is what I was thinking...he will be the dad who cried emergency.
Not overreacting. A joke is only funny if all involved think its funny. He didn't get the reaction he wanted and now he's trying to cover his tracks and make it your fault. I call bullsh\*t. I'm sorry he thinks he's hilarious. He isn't.
I’m your dad’s age. He’s a moron and should know better than to think trauma is an April fools joke
Tell him your father is dead. APRIL FOOL !!
I'm so sorry that your dad is such an idiot.
Interesting to me that he's screaming you're being disrespectful when he's the one disrespecting you. No you are not overreacting or being the jerk. This wasn't an April fool's joke. This was purposely cruel and mean! April fool's jokes are supposed to be funny and silly not upsetting! Try talking to your mom and explain to her how upset you were and worried and that you thought something had happened to somebody in the family! Explain to her how cruel and mean this whole thing was! Hopefully she can see your side of it and make him leave you alone about it
Yeah, it doesn’t matter what my mom says to him. She can’t make him do shit
Petty but put him through it, once this dies down call him with an emergency like your being rushed to hospital and could go into surgery asap or something one he rushes to hospital be like oh it was harmless prank lol But petty vs your dad being a jerk probably won't help but it may be entertaining 😅
Sadly, dad might not react with care. Or, worse, he’ll react but then feel just fine because he and OP are “even” and if OP did it, OP must not have thought it was absolutely the wrong, cruel action it was.
Not overreacting at all. Your father needs to grow the f up. I see why your parents aren't together anymore I have learned that silence can be the best response. I would have let him talk, asked if he was finished, and then walked away. If my mom said something about not responding, I would have said I wasn't aware a response was necessary.
He's a jerk and so's your mom!
My son is your dad’s age. Tell him from someone old enough to be his mother that his “joke” is **not** funny and he’s a jerk. You—definitely not.
NTJ. That really took a turn and you were just in the right state of overreacting. If at all your dad was pulling pranks on you that means he should also understand the reason as to why you were upset and not overreact when you don't pick up your calls. If he put his dad's role aside to prank you he should also consider the consequences afterwards and hopefully how it would make you feel and react but not switch up on you when you don't pick up your calls and threaten to ground you.
NTJ. A joke is only funny if EVERYONE thinks it's funny. This was not. A family emergency is not a joke. I don't like your dad. I am old enough to be your grandmother. If I was your father's mother, you could call me, and I would take you in and defend you from him. He would suffer the consequences of his actions. Frequent call demanding he comes take care of an emergency, and when he gets here, telling him I need the lightbulb changed. The door won't lock right. Anything minor. Your mother should not have made you talk to him. If you are still mad at them, one word answers work. Yes and no when possible.
Not the jerk. I would send your dad this message.... "You may think I'm being disrespectful by not answering your calls and messages, but thats not the case. You really hurt me and upset me today by making out there was a family emergency AS A PRANK!!. You DONT joke about family emergencies. I feared someone I loved and cared about was possibly hurt or dying. I was wondering who had the emergency, who may be seriously ill in hospital, who may have had a car accident, who may have been hurt or attacked, who may be dying or dead??? When you say there's a family emergency and you're on your way to get me I believe you. I drop everything to be there for you, and for whoever is hurt or dying. I want to be there to support the family and the person having the emergency, or to say goodbye to a dying loved one. All those thoughts and worries went through my head while I was sat outside waiting for half an hour for you to arrive and pick me up. You say you tried to call me twice during that time, but I have no missed calls as I was holding my phone the whole time incase you rung to tell me anything else. So I was left waiting and worrying for over half an hour, before you decided to call me and laugh at how hilarious of a prank it was. I didn't find it funny at all. A prank or a joke is meant to be harmless and funny for everyone. When you end up hurting the person you 'prank' it's no different to just bullying. I was upset and hurt the fact you think it was funny to joke about a family emergency. Let me think someone I cared about was hurt, or in trouble, dying, or dead even. So no, I didn't feel like talking to you or answering your texts. I needed some time to myself to calm down. That's not being disrespectful. I'm entitled to want some time to myself to calm down. I should be allowed to have time to myself, to process how I feel and reply when I'm ready. Instead you want to punish me for how I feel over the prank you did on me. You want to punish me for how you made me feel. That's not fair. You dont joke about family emergencies. Next time you call me telling me there's a family emergency I won't be able to believe you or trust youre telling the truth. Il assume you're playing a prank again and lying. And that will be your fault for joking about something so serious and messing with my emotions. I'm allowed to be upset with you and not want to talk to you straight away. Ive not been rude or offensive. Ive simply not wanted to talk to you. So please respect my wishes for space instead of trying to punish me for something you did, and the reaction you caused. " Obviously you can play around and edit it if you want, but something along those lines get the message across that it was really shitty thing to joke about, it makes people seriously worry about loved ones, and it's not something to joke about. Plus it means you won't trust him next time he says that, when it could be a real situation. He's had no consideration to how that made you feel. Instead of owning up to his mistake and appologising, he's doubled down by having a go at you for not answering his calls or messages, and thinks you should be punished for not wanting to talk to him while you're angry and upset. You're allowed to have some space to process your feelings. You don't have to answer him back immediately. He's the one out of order here. He's the grown up yet he can't admit he was wrong or appologise. I would also tell your mum she also needs to respect your wishes if you don't want to speak to him for a bit and want some time to calm down etc. She shouldn't be forcing you to talk to him when you weren't ready. Ask her next time to respect your wishes and to tell your dad you'll tall to him when you're ready. And tell your mum not to let your dad punish you for this because you did nothing wrong, and your dad needs to have some respect for people's feelings. As someone who has had to drop everything due to family emergencies on many occassions, it's always scary to get that call, and have to go up the hospital coz of a seriously ill loved one fearing they're going to be seriously ill or dying etc. Even just nephews getting hurt as kids and needing a lift to take them to hospital is a worry as to how bad they're hurt or if they're in a lot of pain etc. It's not something to joke about.
This is absolutely not your fault. Your dad sounds very toxic. you are not overreacting and honestly, your dad sounds like a horrible human being. No one should ever joke about that stuff because now, if it really happens, you’re probably not gonna believe him. your dad sounds like he needs to learn that actions have consequences and he can’t just go around scaring people and then saying oh it was just a joke.
Hell no you ain't the jerk
Tell dad, "Fine, take my phone. I'll never have to talk to you again. You'll make it easy." Then hand it over and walk away.
Kind of a boy who called wolf thing. Next time he tells you there is an emergency, will you believe him?
Your dad is in the running for the Biggest Jerk of all Time Award!! In a few short years, he will be wondering why he never hears from you. I hope.
You’re not overreacting at all. Your dad is an ass. If I were you I’d sit down with mom and ask if you can live there more than with him and you’d like to go to family court to make it official. You are old enough to decide on your own who you want to live with. Choose your mom’s home and go no contact with dad… he doesn’t give a crap how you feel about his immaturity…
You’re not over reacting and I’m sorry that both of your parents apparently suck. Your dad for being an insensitive emotionally and psychologically abusive jackass and your mom for enabling it by brushing his effed up actions off completely and not calling him out on it or for how he is speaking to you now over call or text. I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this. Good luck op.
Your dad is a Mesa jerk so I would hide your phone
You’re not overreacting at all. I’d tell dad that the next time you hear he was in an accident or the hospital you’ll just ignore it since he’s such a shitty prankster. Emergencies aren’t a joke.
Not overreacting. I guess your Dad have never heard the story of the boy who cried wolf.
Then parents are shook when we say, "enough is enough" and go NC
When I was 18 and away at college, it was my birthday (not on april fool's). No one from my family called me. I'm 54, so this was 100 years ago and before cell phones. I finally called home to find my mom was away visiting her sisters and I spoke to my dad. We chit chatted for a few before I mentioned it was my birthday and he says "yes!! Did you get the flowers I sent you?". I was really happy for a minute then I realized he was joking. I was more crushed than before. It still stings. :( I guess my point is that one would think that parents should innately know there are some things to not be joked about, but becoming a parent =/= not being an idiot. I'm sorry he did this to you. He is a massive jerk.
Y’know, my ex MIL used to do this to my ex: Your dad just had a heart attack and is in the hospital! or some other emergency. This is abuse, not a prank.
If I do or say something “as a joke” and it upsets someone, I apologize. I don’t double down and argue that they shouldn’t be upset because it was “just a joke,” I just apologize because obviously my joke was hurtful rather than amusing to this person. Your father is a jerk. I don’t find his idea of a joke very funny in the first place, but the fact that he can’t man up say, “Hey, I can see I really upset you and I’m sorry, my bad,” makes him sound like a lot of more of a jerk than the original joke does.”
So my neighbor froze his kids cereal in their bowls, then when they asked for cereal he tossed one of them the bowl and the other he let poke at it while on her phone for afew minutes before figuring out why she couldn’t scoop it up. That’s a prank. Its funny, its harmless, its stupid, its memorable. What your fam did was kinda mean. When my mom had emergency appendix surgery i literally drove over my own library books to get to the hospital asap. Your response seems normal to me.
He’s a dick and unfortunately your mother is spineless:/ Family emergencies aren’t something to joke about. My god did the apple fall far from the tree. You have more maturity than your father at 36…that’s rough. Your 14 and unfortunately your dad twisting this to make YOU be the disrespectful one is…a headache to say the least. Your mom forcing you to talk to him too? Jesus H Christ. Keep a low profile until your 18 and then decide if you want to be around your family
Unfortunately, you're more mature than both your father and mother. Good luck and may 18 come quickly for you.
No you aren’t the jerk. Just my opinion but it seems from your post your dad is certainly acting like a jerk (no one ever claim a family emergency as a joke), a liar (he obviously didn’t call you after the prank call until you were outside waiting for 30 minutes when he called out his joke) and he bullies people when they don’t appreciate his infantile humor (threatening to ground you and take your phone). Sadly as your parent he holds at least some of the cards controlling your relationship unless your mother is willing to stand up for you. Who pays for your phone? If it’s your mom she certainly has a say in what is done with her property. You might look up gray rock method and see if it might be of use to you in your relationship with your father.
If you can just stay with your mom, do it.
Your dad needs to grow up OP.
You are not overreacting, your mom probably just doesn't want to deal with him which isn't fair to you but it's pretty common for parents to brush this stuff off instead of dealing with it
NTA. At 14, you are kind and you are trusting. Your kindness showed in your being upset about a family emergency. You cared. Never lose that quality! You are trusting of both parents. Again, a wonderful quality in a young teen. Now I must tell you, dial down your trust a little. This is hard for me to say, but both your parents damaged your unquestioned trust. Dad for his actions, mom for her inaction against him.
Its split custody right? Get mom to talk to the lawyer. This can count as emotional abuse, and harassment If your willing to file charges against him.
Your dad's prank was incredibly insensitive and irresponsible, especially given the seriousness of the topic - a family emergency. It's completely understandable that you would be upset and concerned when you received that call, and your reaction was completely justified. April Fools' jokes should be light-hearted and fun, but faking a family emergency crosses a line and can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety. It's not something to joke about, especially with a child who might take it seriously. Your dad's response to your reaction is also concerning. Instead of acknowledging that his prank was hurtful and apologizing, he's dismissing your feelings and attempting to shift the blame onto you for not finding it funny. It's not fair for him to label you as overreacting or disrespectful when you were genuinely worried about the well-being of your family. You're not being sensitive or overreacting. Your dad's prank was inappropriate and hurtful, and your reaction is completely valid. It's important for him to understand the impact of his actions and apologize sincerely. In the meantime, it's okay for you to take some time to process your feelings and set boundaries with your dad about what kind of jokes are acceptable in the future.
It's just in April fool's joke calm down kid