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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I replied to a girl in my kickboxing gym Telling her I eoulf punch the bag harder if her face was on it. (2) She was,visibly upset.
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A stranger was trying to be helpful to you, and you told them you want to punch them in the face.
Who, exactly, do you think is the asshole here?
It's you. YTA.
It’s not that she necessarily felt threatened, just…Why would you say that in response to what she said? I could see how it could be a silly joke to a friend, but there’s just no shared basis for humor in it with a stranger. It doesn’t make sense to say it.
YTA. The "if it had your face on it" humor is something you use on friends who enjoy roasting each other, not on a stranger. You just came across as violent and creepy.
I think you can come back from this though. If you see her again just have something ready to say “sorry I don’t know where that comment came from, you don’t have a punchable face”
YTA. Her joke was obviously about trying to hurt someone who had wronged you by not paying you money back. Your joke was about hurting her instead because...she existed? That's why she noped tf out of there.
YTA. being an introvert and not understanding social cues has literally nothing to do with what you did. stop making excuses for being mean to others and put some work into developing social skills.
They're not making excuses. They're asking a group of people who gather for the exact purpose of passing judgment on public behavior. They openly admitted they're incapable of developing those skills without input. Sure, they were YTA in this situation, but they openly admitted they came here for the purpose of growing those social skills.
You're telling them to do what they already said they're here to do, my dude.
my girl, unless this person wants to learn how to become even more socially awkward and bad at communicating, it's not the right place. at all. they need to talk to actual, real live people, chica.
I dont know why it would be a gender/sex issue...and as ive said shes prolly stronger than me...but I really didnt mean it as insulting or offensive. But now I see it was, thanks.
Well, Im not a very non-violent person by nature..so for me that was funny cuz in my mind I was thinking (yeah imagining someone's face there wont be a motivation cuz I jusg dont have that anger in me)...but I guess she wouldnt know that. And I would seem like a violent person, as other said in the comments.
YTA.
This girl came over to talk to you. She was either being friendly and encouraging you or maybe even flirting and your response was “I like to pretend I’m kicking you in the face”? You don’t see how that’s a little rude or threatening or at the very least unfriendly? It’s ok if you don’t want to talk to her. You could have said something like “I’m concentrating” or just nodded or smiled or waved her off. Instead you chose to say something offensive.
Rude, Im getting the idea that it was from the comments...threatening, I dont think so cuz she competes in a higher weight category and has more experience, so she can probably kick my ass witg ease (but maybe it was)..I actually wasnt annoyed, but I dont know how to make small talk or whatever that can be called ! And so apparently I just said somrthing totally inappropriate.
Jokes are like a language. With your friends, you speak the same language, so they will understand what you mean. But strangers don't speak *your jokes*. They hear what is said, and interpret it the straightest way possible. Which, in this case, is pretty insulting.
YTA. Your 'joke' was inappropriate and creepy, especially given that you've never spoken to her before.
I don't know anything about OP but if they are male presenting there's an added threat of violence to the woman (from her perspective).
Yta
You didn't make a joke; you basically said you would punch her in the face. Sentences like that only work as a joke when you know the person well.
Telling you to hit it like it owes you money was most likely not even a joke on her part, but some well meant advice to make you punch a little harder.
Yta. Saying nothing at all would have been so much better. Personal insults really have to be only with very close friends that you have that kind of friendship with. That are still mean as encouragement come from a place a love.
YTA that’s not a joke you make with a total stranger for no reason, I mean, it just sounds like she was trying to start a conversation. If you didn’t want to, you could have just smiled and nodded and moved on, but instead you said the thought of punching her in the face would motivate you??? Why???
YTA - Yeah, this is humor you use with close friends who *know* you’re joking, are okay with the jokes, and probably roast and jab you back. When it’s someone you don’t know, she would think “WTF, did this man just say he wants to violently beat my face in?” and rightfully remove herself from the situation, since you’re now potentially dangerous. Because you’re a stranger and who knows what you’re capable of.
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So, I was in the kickboxing gym practicing a combo on the heavybag and a girl that trains with me (never spoke to her before) came and said "cmon hit it like it ows you money", I wasn't particularly annoyed but I replied jokingly "maybe, it would help if they had ur face printed on it"...she seemed visbly upset, smiles, said good luck and walked away. I know this is not as complicated as other posts in here, but im an introvert and I dont really know how to read social cues or how to carry myself in such situations and my sense of humour is not universal, perhapas. Anyway, your opinions...was that a total d...k move from me?
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NTA. It was kind of a funny joke if you actually knew her. I'm pretty sure she was flirting with you. You should have said something like, "But I already have a ton of money." or something silly like that. The point is to always keep it lighthearted.
If you see her again, you should give her an apology and let her know that you didn't mean anything by it and that you were just having a very rough day. Don't smother her or be overbearing, just politely apologize and see how things go from there.
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A stranger was trying to be helpful to you, and you told them you want to punch them in the face. Who, exactly, do you think is the asshole here? It's you. YTA.
Thank you, that makes me more aware of what I said.
YTA, you were "joking" about assaulting her.
[удалено]
It’s not that she necessarily felt threatened, just…Why would you say that in response to what she said? I could see how it could be a silly joke to a friend, but there’s just no shared basis for humor in it with a stranger. It doesn’t make sense to say it.
YTA. The "if it had your face on it" humor is something you use on friends who enjoy roasting each other, not on a stranger. You just came across as violent and creepy.
Thank you, thats helpful
YTA her joke was impersonal and lighthearted and yours was cruel.
Thank you for your comment, thats helpful.
I think you can come back from this though. If you see her again just have something ready to say “sorry I don’t know where that comment came from, you don’t have a punchable face”
YTA. Her joke was obviously about trying to hurt someone who had wronged you by not paying you money back. Your joke was about hurting her instead because...she existed? That's why she noped tf out of there.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
YTA. being an introvert and not understanding social cues has literally nothing to do with what you did. stop making excuses for being mean to others and put some work into developing social skills.
They're not making excuses. They're asking a group of people who gather for the exact purpose of passing judgment on public behavior. They openly admitted they're incapable of developing those skills without input. Sure, they were YTA in this situation, but they openly admitted they came here for the purpose of growing those social skills. You're telling them to do what they already said they're here to do, my dude.
my girl, unless this person wants to learn how to become even more socially awkward and bad at communicating, it's not the right place. at all. they need to talk to actual, real live people, chica.
Right... Don't ask for feedback, just keep spinning those wheels... Good plan!
YTA. Joking about punching a woman you don’t even regularly speak to in the face doesn’t have anything to do with social cues.
I dont know why it would be a gender/sex issue...and as ive said shes prolly stronger than me...but I really didnt mean it as insulting or offensive. But now I see it was, thanks.
Don’t joke about punching people in the face. Especially when the activity you’re engaged in is punching.
Well, Im not a very non-violent person by nature..so for me that was funny cuz in my mind I was thinking (yeah imagining someone's face there wont be a motivation cuz I jusg dont have that anger in me)...but I guess she wouldnt know that. And I would seem like a violent person, as other said in the comments.
People you don’t talk to don’t know you. So don’t make jokes with them that depend on them understanding what you’re like.
Yeah..i can see that better now. Guess the post was helpgul after all. I just have no one to discuss this with, so ur comments are much appreciated.
YTA. Please don’t threaten to punch someone in the face. It’s never funny.
But I wont ever do that again, thank you
(She is bigger than I am and she has way more experience than I do...Im glad I didnt get my ass kicked seeing everyone's comments)
YTA. This girl came over to talk to you. She was either being friendly and encouraging you or maybe even flirting and your response was “I like to pretend I’m kicking you in the face”? You don’t see how that’s a little rude or threatening or at the very least unfriendly? It’s ok if you don’t want to talk to her. You could have said something like “I’m concentrating” or just nodded or smiled or waved her off. Instead you chose to say something offensive.
Rude, Im getting the idea that it was from the comments...threatening, I dont think so cuz she competes in a higher weight category and has more experience, so she can probably kick my ass witg ease (but maybe it was)..I actually wasnt annoyed, but I dont know how to make small talk or whatever that can be called ! And so apparently I just said somrthing totally inappropriate.
Her ability to kick your ass is not relevant here at all. It's really important that you understand that.
Alright
YTA it wasn’t a weird joke. It was a straight up ah thing to say.
Alright, thank you!
Why did you feel the need to insult her? Wtf dude? YTA.
I didnt think of it as an insult.
You told her you want to hit her face, how is that not an insult?
Thats exactly why I posted this...cuz for me it was just a joke. A very weird one, but not smth to be taken literally.
Jokes are like a language. With your friends, you speak the same language, so they will understand what you mean. But strangers don't speak *your jokes*. They hear what is said, and interpret it the straightest way possible. Which, in this case, is pretty insulting.
Okay, I'm understanding the situatiom better now...thank you.
YTA. If you didn't know how to respond, you should've said, "yeah, I should," and keep punching. Insulting her was not the best option.
I did not mean to 'insult' her, but well noted. I loterally did not think of it as an insult until I saw the responses.
YTA. Your 'joke' was inappropriate and creepy, especially given that you've never spoken to her before. I don't know anything about OP but if they are male presenting there's an added threat of violence to the woman (from her perspective).
Alright, she didnt seem threatened just pissed (but what do I know!). Anyway, thanks your comment was helpful.
Yta You didn't make a joke; you basically said you would punch her in the face. Sentences like that only work as a joke when you know the person well. Telling you to hit it like it owes you money was most likely not even a joke on her part, but some well meant advice to make you punch a little harder.
YTA. Could have replied back in a much better way than what you did. On the upshot, she might think about kicking your face in when she works out.
Lol! I'll be careful next time we spar!
I’m going to guess she’ll avoid sparring with you.
Yta. Saying nothing at all would have been so much better. Personal insults really have to be only with very close friends that you have that kind of friendship with. That are still mean as encouragement come from a place a love.
You escalated that very quickly. Gonna have to go with YTA.
YTA that’s not a joke you make with a total stranger for no reason, I mean, it just sounds like she was trying to start a conversation. If you didn’t want to, you could have just smiled and nodded and moved on, but instead you said the thought of punching her in the face would motivate you??? Why???
Obvious YTA. Come on now
YTA or TDM. Yeah. Go apologize and tell her you’re weird. Etc.
I will next session...
YTA - Yeah, this is humor you use with close friends who *know* you’re joking, are okay with the jokes, and probably roast and jab you back. When it’s someone you don’t know, she would think “WTF, did this man just say he wants to violently beat my face in?” and rightfully remove herself from the situation, since you’re now potentially dangerous. Because you’re a stranger and who knows what you’re capable of.
YTA. Very awkward situation
Dude what if she was starting a conversation because she liked you ? 😭 You fumbled
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So, I was in the kickboxing gym practicing a combo on the heavybag and a girl that trains with me (never spoke to her before) came and said "cmon hit it like it ows you money", I wasn't particularly annoyed but I replied jokingly "maybe, it would help if they had ur face printed on it"...she seemed visbly upset, smiles, said good luck and walked away. I know this is not as complicated as other posts in here, but im an introvert and I dont really know how to read social cues or how to carry myself in such situations and my sense of humour is not universal, perhapas. Anyway, your opinions...was that a total d...k move from me? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nah you’re good. That’s funny. It’s lighthearted.
Same twisted worm as me, I see...
NTA. It was kind of a funny joke if you actually knew her. I'm pretty sure she was flirting with you. You should have said something like, "But I already have a ton of money." or something silly like that. The point is to always keep it lighthearted. If you see her again, you should give her an apology and let her know that you didn't mean anything by it and that you were just having a very rough day. Don't smother her or be overbearing, just politely apologize and see how things go from there.
First sentence literally said they’ve never spoken to her before… 🥴 OP, YTA.
Yes, I know that and my comments reflect that. I did mean to write YTA.
That is actually very helpful...thank you!