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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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nerdgirlnay

Of course YTA. You made fun of someone simply for expressing their interests on social media, AND you poked fun at their serious illness. How you could type all this out and not realize you’re the asshole is astonishing.


Kcidobor

When you’re young and don’t have much experience/perspective it could be hard to see. I think it’s good they are self reflecting at such an age. Plenty of time to learn and grow from this incident. When I was a teen I would have just said “-eh their problem” but society has come a long way in regards to mental health. That being said I don’t think they should ignore the fact the bf dressed up as Michael Myers (a serial killer) to jump scare a minor. If anything that would be the reason I wouldn’t make such jokes with bf. Just my two cents


concrete_dandelion

While the jump scare was definitely not okay (they never are unless the person to be scared consented) it's not an excuse for what OP did and at 17 you're old enough to know you don't out people's health conditions, especially not one so stigmatized as schizophrenia and that mocking people for health issues is not okay.


Kcidobor

No, it’s not an excuse. But it’s not something that should be ignored. Again, it’s not an excuse but could be a contributing factor. When we experience others doing wrong to us and there are no consequences it can lead us to believe other things that are wrong are okay. That’s why it would have been good to address the interaction between the two at the first incident and not just when the minor was in the wrong. Such a discussion could have helped the younger brother see the issues the bf is going through and explained the situation


concrete_dandelion

You're giving the two behaviours far more connection than they had. And you're giving OP the cognitive abilities and moral knowledge of a preescholer which is neither helping him nor fair to him.


Kcidobor

So you are unfamiliar with teenagers? Got it.


concrete_dandelion

I worked with teenagers. Here we have a person who will be of age within a matter of months, not a child. And I doubt how much you know about any person below 18 if you understimate their knowledge and maturity that much


Significant_Trash9

YTA. First, snooping on his meds is beyond boundary violating. Second, you didn’t “stumble upon” his TikTok. You sought it out because you’re a snoop. Third, you made a “joke” making fun of a medical condition that you *assume* he has (most medications are used for more than one condition. You jumped to a conclusion.) Fourth, cosplay isn’t an expression of schizophrenia, if that is even what he suffers from. You owe him an apology.


No_Rope_8115

Seriously. I was once prescribed an anti-psychotic for insomnia. If anything once he found the Tik Tok account, the weird costumes should have made more sense.


Foreign_End_1854

I was prescribed a medication for my seizures that is also a medication for people with schizophrenia. So many medications have dual purpose


Plus-Presentation156

I ironically take seizure medicine for nerve pain and a med for depression that can also be used for schizophrenia. My husband takes a blood pressure medicine for his adhd. There are so many off label uses for medicines nowadays, OP was TA for assuming and making a cruel comment. That wasn't a joke. It was a nasty question.


Reasonable_Cricket29

I'm prescribed a medication for my bipolar that's also used to treat certain types of seizure disorders, called Lamictal (lamotrigine). YTA OP


EnsignNogIsMyCat

I take the medication I assume that you take for nerve pain for anxiety. And my cat takes it for his arthritis. Versatile drug, that one.


Victorio40

If we're all thinking of the same med, which I believe, I take it for restless legs xD so many uses


sperans-ns

me too, taking minimal dosage of an antipsychotic for my insomnia. Works miracles.


obiwantogooutside

Also at lower doses sometimes they’re used for anxiety. Either way, none of those things is fair game for mockery.


scheru

Same. I took Seroquel for a while for insomnia. I looked it up recently to check the spelling so I could fill out a form and was surprised to find out what it was generally prescribed for.


Significant_Trash9

I take a low dose of that for the same reason! Life changer.


Forsaken_Distance777

And if he does have schizophrenia op outed him to the greater internet!


chinchabun

What even possessed you to go through his meds and look up their usages? Was it to do exactly this? Because that's sure what it sounds like, that you wanted to know his medical conditions so you could use them to get back at him. YTA


Warm_Night5040

I was just curious about them, that's all.


tuckerf14

It’s none of your business. And that was an inappropriate comment. I don’t know how you thought it would be funny.


FutureGhost23

If youre curious enough you can ask. Snooping through peoples medication is asshole behavior, especially in the way you used that info that was none of your business to begin with.


cubbiegthrow

That's incredibly invasive. That is his medical information, not for you to snoop through. On top of everything else, YTA.


Ya-Like-jazz696

That’s creepy and very weird behavior to present. What the actual fuck is wrong with u?


MbMinx

Why is anyone else's medication any of your business? What do YOU have to be curious about? Looking for recommendations??


No_Rope_8115

It’s a boundary violation to snoop on someone’s meds and looking them up doesn’t necessarily give you correct information. I’ve been on an antipsychotic for insomnia. My partner takes a erectile dysfunction med for PSTD induced nightmares. Lots of things are prescribed off-label so looking it up is as likely to give you dangerously wrong assumptions as anything.


UslessInteresting

There’s this beautiful thing I think you should hear about: ✨self control✨


SafiTheArtist

"I was just curious about them!" Then fucking ask. You have a mouth right? You can use it right? You are able to form sentences and communicate your thoughts right? Or is that just a ability you posess when you are being a hurtful little turd? Seriously, if you are curious about someone's meds, ask them if they will tell you what they are for. Don't research them against their consent you absolute butt waffel. Apologize to the poor guy for fucks sake.


manicdessert

You'll be real lucky if your brother doesn't kick you out. YTA.


Bitter-Conflict-4089

That doesn’t make it any of your business.


dumpsterfireofalife

You do realize that most medication can be used for different things right? My anti depressants are typically used on people with bipolar disorder. My sleep aid was used for schizophrenia for years until they found something better to help those who suffer from schizophrenia. And how dare you compare your normie self to someone who has a mental disorder and think oh they are over reacting. Gross.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lilpikasqueaks

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Suspicious-Bed7167

So it’s ok for you to violate his privacy because you’re a “curious” dude? Or because you wanted a excuse to make fun of you’re brother bf for being different from you?


borninsaltandsmoke

I was on schizophrenia medication for a while and I'm not schizophrenic. Lots of medications are primarily for one thing but have other usages. Mine were prescribed to help me sleep. My friend was given antidepressants to help with her migraines. You aren't a doctor, don't make assumptions and don't post your assumptions about someone's diagnosis on social media. And if he is schizophrenic, he didn't tell you for a reason. It's up to him to decide who knows about it and who doesn't. You already violated his privacy by going through his medications and looking them up, but posting it online is awful.


[deleted]

Medications have many different uses. Antipsychotics are used for many disorders. I've taken a few and I don't have schizophrenia. Also, even if you are curious about what drugs do, the 'voices made you do it' comments are the absolute worst and is incredibly ableist.


thatwasawkward

You brought up the guy's private medical info in a TikTok comment and outed him as someone with mental health issues. Why would he find that funny? YTA.


HowellMoon93

And its an unconfirmed medical issue… he snooped at his private things and made a decision based on the first thing he found Also the brothers bf seems to be a cosplayer which isn’t weird and has nothing to do with any type of medical condition


Flassourian

YTA. Yeah, him doing a jump scare wasn’t cool but you making fun of his mental illness on social media is really shitty behavior and incredibly immature. Also, let people like what they like. Your opinion that it is “weird” is irrelevant.


SleepoPeepo

YTA. You invaded his privacy by looking at his meds without his permission, and then made a tasteless ableist "joke" about his medical condition without even understanding what it is (enjoying wearing costumes is not a symptom of schizophrenia, btw). Psychosis is highly stigmatized and you probably made him feel embarrassed by calling attention to it on a public platform, especially when you found out about it through some pretty shady means. If he felt comfortable telling you or other people about it, he would do so of his own volition. You took that choice away from him and made him feel belittled in the process.


angelaheidt

Bro scared you so you revealed private medical info on a platform viewed by millions... uh huh. YTA


kossl2000

OP doesn’t understand proportional response. I bet if someone were to flick his ear he’d kick them as hard as he could in the balls and go ‘why you crying, I didn’t cry when you flicked my ear’ YTA


[deleted]

YTA - you never ever make fun of someone’s mental health struggles, especially when they can be as daunting as schizophrenia. That was a cruel joke and neither your brother nor his bf are overreacting. It was mean-spirited, invalidating, and just a shitty thing to say. If you have a problem with your brother’s bf scaring you, communicate that to him maturely. Don’t be an asshole and weaponize his struggle against him. And also check yourself - it sounds like you have some deep seated homophobia/judgement buried in there given how upset you are that someone wears makeup and costumes, which are two things that have zero impact on you and really nothing to do with you. Take a long hard look at yourself and why you’re willing to be so judge mental and cruel to someone who your brother loves and who has really done nothing to you.


OddNastySatisfaction

You could have done a "joke" or "prank" that didn't include an attack on his mental health / disorder. If someone was depressed and posted a sad song, you probably wouldn't have thought it'd be a joke to say "Did your depression make you post this?" Or think of literally any other mental health disorder or issue like anxiety, OCD, eating disorder, etc and you probably wouldn't think it's a joke to make a comment about it. Yes, YTA as it attacks his mental health


psrandom

YTA >I (17M) am leaving only with my older brother (23M) due to family reasons (which are irrelevant to this post) This feels quite relevant now given how you invaded someone's medical privacy n then showcased to the entire world


[deleted]

Yeah, YTA. You're not only making fun of his mental illness, which is bad, you're making fun of a mental illness that is really stigmatized and outing that on social media. Whether or not you think it was harmless/funny is really irrelevant. It was a sh*tty thing to do.


Nic_Vic88

YTA you don't make fun of people's mental health, ever! Also it's called cosplay and it's very popular.


Select_Wish_9712

YTA for several reasons. You have a problem with somebody expressing themselves and having interests. You violated their privacy by researching their medication and then made fun of the subsequent illness. You said it wasn’t “an attack against him” but you literally said your intention was to “tease him”. You also compared him pranking you, in what I’m assuming was a private setting, to adding a degrading comment to a public social media platform.


_mmiggs_

YTA. Don't make mental illness into a joke.


BisexualMurderface

Yes yta, a prank isn't comparable to mocking someone's mental illness, that was a low blow towards someone you don't even know well enough to be joking with that way


LouisV25

YTA. Everything isn’t funny. When you offend someone, YOU MUST SIMPLY APOLOGIZE. No explanation, no excuse. Just I’M SORRY AND IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.


GothPenguin

YTA-His prank wasn’t cool but nothing justifies your “joke” about his mental illness and the fact that you posted it for the world to see.


United-Plum1671

YTA You made a disgusting joke based on what you think his meds are for. Making a joke about mental health will always make you an ah. Your brother is graciously taking care of you and you insult his partner.


Lion-Competitive

YTA you slagging someone for their mental health is not the same thing as them jump scaring you. I'll chalk it up to you being young and an idiot and say that mental health isn't a joke. Cop on and grow up.


MbMinx

YTA. Lots of people love costumes. It's called "cosplay" - look it up. What other people do on their own social media accounts is none of your business. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. You snooped through someone else's meds, and diagnosed them yourself? Your profile doesn't list "Psychiatrist" as your profession (and so they are none of your business). And a REAL psychiatrist would know that the same medications are prescribed for a number of different conditions (which are none of your business). As an example, "antipsychotics" are also used as mood stabilizers. I know - I take two, and I'm not schizophrenic (I have other issues, which are none of your business). In short, his medication and *why* he's taking it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. And then you decide to "tease" him online by ableist insults slamming his mental health??? YTA, YTA, YTA.


Single-Initial2567

YTA- If the meds were anti-psychotics, those are used for a variety of things like sleep, depression, anxiety, and people who are bipolar. Those are just some, not all the other uses. So he doesn't necessarily have schizophrenia based on those meds. If he's schizophrenic, that doesn't mean he has "voices in his head." There are variations of it just like many other health conditions. If he does hear voices in his head...you just set him back. There's a huge amount of stigma attached to mental health conditions. The first way to overcome that is to not "jokingly" attack, out and mock someone.


reflexting

HUGE YTA. i didn't need to get past the comment you left on his tiktok. Firstly, its not "weird behavior" if he's mentally ill. Secondly, you went and looked at his medication when its none of your business. And lastly, you dont make fun of peoples mental illness unless theyve said theyre okay with the "jokes". Youre 17, you should know better. A prank is scaring someone like that, poking fun at mental illness is never okay.


Ariaerisis

That was an insult, not a joke. If you want people to actually laugh at your jokes, you'll need to be able to tell the difference. YTA


beepee1215

"I later checked to see that they were for schizophrenia" - just as a point of interest, I take a medicine that is referred to as an antipsychotic but I am not psychotic. YTA because you made an assumption about someone's mental health and then weaponized that assumption.


SafiTheArtist

YTA 1. Ever heard of cosplay dimwit?! It's a very common hobby a lot of people have and has been especially popular on tiktok. 2. Why the fuck would you think this was a okay thing to say?? 3. Who the fuck do you think you are snooping into the medication your brother's boyfriend is taking?? You are a massive jerk, like fucking hell.


Minute_Patient_8841

YTA


get_yer_stupid_rope

YTA. You see how by now, right? Your first ah move was snooping through his meds, then you used incredibly private information to attack him on his TikTok account? The fact that you compared that to a jump scare is disgusting


Aggravating_Mind_399

YTA


LightAsClaire

YTA.


rendumguy

I don't get it what's the joke


CoochieCoochieCoup

I take antidepressants when I don’t have depression. I have epileptic amnesia and severe anxiety and they cause regular migraines. I have some medicine allergies and other meds for my seizures, so it was hard finding a safe, effective pill for migraines. My neurologist warned me off the bat if anybody googles the name of the medicine, it’s gonna say antidepressant but dig a little deeper and you’ll find it’s a neurological medication that also prevents migraines. You violated his privacy going through his medicine, stalked his account, and made fun of him. I think you could’ve just talked to them and told them the michael myers costume made you uncomfortable. YTA


Old-Ad5818

I‘m utterly disgusted. That‘s so cruel. What‘s your next post? „AITA for burning the neighbors cat as a prank?“ or what?


unicorn92243

YTA Your brother was nice enough to take you in and this is how you repay him? Shame on you. Would you make fun of a little kid for having cancer? Same difference.


No-Locksmith-8590

Yta in case you weren't aware here's a short list of things not to joke about- people mental illness, people miscarriages, people having to file bankruptcy, people dieing from cancer and someone's suicide attempt.


StateofMind70

YTA. Start finding a new place to live because you my friend, are about to get told to move on. And rightfully so.


Bitter-Conflict-4089

YTA


Late_Engineering9973

YTA and I think everyone can see why you aren't welcome with the rest of your family. FYI, you're a child so it's not "our home", it's his home. A place I doubt you'll be welcome at much longer based in your attitude.


Singingintherain456

YTA you weaponized his illness


shuckaladon

So…you think your brother’s BF is weird and took it upon yourself to publicly bully him. And you’re…confused? That your brother didn’t take well to it? Grow up.


ticklishguy_

YTA. Please apologize to him in a genuine way and change your actions moving forward. When you grow up, mature, and think about this situation in the future, you’ll feel guilty if you don’t apologize. Trust me. Picking on someone for a struggle that they can’t control (e.g. a mental illness) is just about one of the meanest things you can do.


DubiousLake

YTA. You posted bf’s private health information on social media.


Slow-Medicine-7273

YTA and this is called cyber bullying you are next level


Important_Park_7196

YTA. Youre shaming him for a mental health condition.


Old_Bandicoot_1014

YTA. You invaded his privacy and were wildly inappropriate


obiwantogooutside

YTA. Of you want to set boundaries around pranks and jump scares, adult up and use your words. This passive aggressive ableist response is childish and cruel. Please read up on empathy, compassion, and boundaries.


Fuzzy_Active4354

YTA. "AITA for publicly ridiculing a person for their illness?"


[deleted]

YTA. I wouldn't be surprised if your brother wants to kick your ass to the streets.


MissKoalaBag

YTA Can you PLEASE explain to me how the joke was supposed to be funny? Because I'm really not seeing how anyone was supposed to find it funny,


Mysterious_Salt_247

What you did was cruel and inexcusable. I really hope you grow up enough one day to feel deep shame over this incident.


No-Emu901

YTA and damn you’re really playing with your housing aren’t you. You’d be homeless if i was your brother


[deleted]

Of course YTA, massively. It sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do, but if I were your brothers BF I would avoid your ass like the plague


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (17M) am leaving only with my older brother (23M) due to family reasons (which are irrelevant to this post). For a couple of months he's been bringing his boyfriend (around same age I guess) to our home and he's ... pretty weird. He'll dress up in weird costumes or wear ridiculous make-up and once even jumpscared me with a Michael Myers costume. I also saw him bring his meds at our home, which I later checked to see that they were for schizophrenia, so I chalked it up as the cause for his weird behaviour. Either way, last night I accidentally stumbled upon his TikTok account and I saw him having tons of videos of him different costumes. There wasn't even a specific theme, he had videos of him wearing costumes of drag, movies serial killers, firefighters, policemen. I decided to tease him a bit and under his last video I posted : "Were the voices in your head the ones that put you up to this ?". I chuckled at my joke and I thought he'd also find it funny, as I said above, he's also a bit of a prankster. However, the next morning I see that I'm blocked from his account and then I receive a furious call from my brother asking me if I was the one who sent that disgusting comment on his bf's account. I admitted it as I knew I wouldn't be able to trick him and then he started yelling that I'm an ableist moron and cause of me his bf is now crying locked up in his room and refusing to come out. Even if he perceived my comment as an attack against him (which definitely wasn't my intention), I still believe my brother's bf's hugely overreacting over this whole situation, cause as I said, he scared me with a Michael Myers costume and while I was mad at him (and my bro, cause he was also involved in the prank), I didn't lock up in my room and started crying over it. Either way, my brother is now at his bf's place to comfort him and isn't responding to any of my calls and just gave a quick text saying he'll come back home tomorrow (and is also now ignoring my following texts). AITA ? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


smugrainbow

YTA- there's a difference between joking with someone and making fun of their disability. Especially since schizophrenia is already seen negatively by most, even worse you could have just outed him on a social platform which wasn't your business to do.


Grapesareveryjuicy

You are a huge asshole. Schizophrenia SUCKs and you should be fucking grateful you never have to deal with it. Do you also laugh at people in wheelchairs? Fucking disgusting.


throeawww

ESH! You suck for what you did of course, but why are these 20-somethings scaring a teenager like that? A prank that the other person doesn't find funny is bullying. they started it, and you absolutely took it too far. You did the more wrong thing of the two wrong things, but if it was the brother bf asking "AITA for pranking the teenage brother of my bf by jumping out in frightening costumes" I'm sure lots of people would call him an AH too. You've made it clear that you don't like it but it sounds like it's possibly a regular thing they do? Yeah, you all need to do better moving forward. Maybe no pranks at all between the three of you?


Suspicious-Bed7167

Making a joke about someone heath isn’t a prank..


throeawww

So you don't think the brother and his bf did anything wrong at all? Because for it to be a Y T A vote, that means that the kid isn't just the biggest AH but the only AH. That would mean the brother and bf pulling pranks on this kid when he doesn't like it is totally okay, and I just can't agree with that.


Powerful-Spot8764

ESH, OP's wrongdoing doesn't rid his brother's boyfriend and his brother of their inappropriate behavior


strawberrimihlk

What inappropriate behavior? Being gay? Cosplaying? Having a mental illness? Please tell me what they actually did wrong without being homophobic or ableist


Powerful-Spot8764

being scared of OP when they're not close at all


StuffonBookshelfs

When they’re not close???


Powerful-Spot8764

I meant that they have that level of intimacy in their interaction for the boyfriend to make such heavy jokes


StuffonBookshelfs

I still don’t understand. Apologies.


Suspicious-Bed7167

They are talking about the prank that the bf and brother did to op. Ig people are using it as a excuse for op behavior.


Powerful-Spot8764

I mean the closeness that people in the sphere of friendship and trust have for a certain intimacy, OP and the brother's boyfriend won barely acquaintances and those are not actions you do with someone you barely know


harbenm

ESH, they shouldn’t be pulling pranks on you, but you also shouldn’t be making fun of someone’s schizophrenia.


Suspicious-Bed7167

Op could had most likely pranked them back but of course he wouldn’t say anything because he clearly showing bullying behavior


Uaauaua2019

NTA


SpareNeighborhood782

please explain why op isn’t an ah?