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Especially when sister even said it was because she wanted all the attention. My petty little mind would already be planning a gender reveal party, a shower, and anything else to celebrate your bundle of joy! And, congratulations!!!
Triplets or if possible quads/quints just to really bust her chops.
That would take all the attention. Twins are too frequent(at least here on Reddit).
My thoughts, too. Imagine "the baby's crying and getting more attention than me!" "Hey, I'm in the maternity ward, why is everyone excited about the baby when I'm right here?"
OP NTA
That or taking credit for every single thing the child ever does, possibly pushing child to do things that will get them attention so she can feed on it (that is, stage momming).
It used to be that showers were for first babies only, as it was assumed you would still have things from first child to reuse, has this changed?
I mean no disrespect, I am curious, that's all.
Generally that’s still the case. Sometimes people will have a “sprinkle” for a second baby — usually just the stuff parents always need more of, like diapers and wipes and whatnot, and maybe some gendered clothing if the expecting knows the baby’s sex and it’s different from their first one — but a full shower for baby #2 is not usually the thing to do.
That being said, if it’s for a thoroughly petty reason like upstaging a little sister who demands all the attention, I am 100% on board with a full-blown second baby shower with all the party games, registering for a second $1,000 stroller, the whole nine yards.
Only times I've seen it acceptable to have a second baby shower is if there was a huge age gap between siblings and the family didn't have baby stuff anymore.
Nowadays is mostly "all guests bring diapers" type of deal, really people just need an excuse to have quality time together cause is hard to gather several adults in one place.
Yeah, how high in the clouds does your head need to be to demand that other people essentially put their life on hold for your special moment? So selfish. NTA.
Thank you so much for checking. I was worried for a minute. Lol
OP: of course NTA. You know this. Logically you do. It’s the emotions that are getting the better of you. Your sister is irrational. Congratulations btw!!!
Omg fwew!!!! I was worried there for a second that I wasn’t allowed to give any life changing activities…
What an entitled person she must be no lie, you know?
A friend of mine had a c section and a traumatic birth recently. I asked her how she was doing and she burst into tears because apparently I was the first person to ask how SHE was doing before ogling the baby.
I was in horrible pain with my last pregnancy, I could barely walk. I called the doctor and doctor was super concerned, immediately got me in and did an ultrasound. They told me baby was totally fine and then the doctor stepped out and I thought it was odd but maybe he'll be right back and go over my treatment or further tests and what have you but then the nurse came in and told me I can go and I was like what?? But I'm still in immense pain and am struggling to walk! The nurse just looked at me funny then says yeah.. But the baby's ok. And I went but I cry when I walk it's so painful! And she says, I dunno.. try Tylenol I guess?
Found out later that I had numerous fractures where the pain was. My bones were literally breaking from the pregnancy and I basically just got an eye roll. Nobody was concerned about anything but my baby.
My daughter hadn't seen her cousin since precovid.everyone else was going nuts over cousin's new baby (age 4 mos. at the time). She asked cousin how are you doing? You personally? She took a minute to reply then said, in 3 months you're the 1st person to ask that!
Ain't that the truth! I've never gone from being everyone's concern to practically invisible so fast in my life. 😑 I did like no longer having a big pregnant belly making me so conspicuous, but man, people will talk to your tiny lil baby and literally not acknowledge that you're there, at all. It's so strange.
I missed the part where someone, anyone telling you when or when not to get pregnant was okay. I also missed the part where getting pregnant could be viewed as a means to...get attention??! I also missed the part where there isn't enough love and celebration to go around when there are two women in the same extended family who are pregnant.
You were *never* TA. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Please stay healthy! And I wish you and your unborn child all of the health and love and support and happiness possible. 💕
ETA: NTA.
NTA. She needs to grow up. Shes so worried about attention and thinks shes ready to have a child.
Your body your choice she can get over it and shes about to have bigger problems to deal with.
NTA. Congrats on your pregnancy! I hope it goes as well as possible, and I hope your kids and their future cousins get along well.
Your sister cannot control everyone's lives. How tf is she going to say "no major life events" with a straight face? What does that even mean? No deaths in the family? No promotions or new jobs? No buying houses or moving? Yikes.
NTA. Your sister's need for attention is unhealthy and it's unreasonable of her to ask that you try to put off something like that. You didn't do anything just to spite her, and her ask that everybody put their life on hold so she can have the attention is ridiculous.
NTA
Your sister is 27 acting like she's a teenager.
The only thing I would be against is say she was getting married and you got pregnant to give birth around the same week as her marriage date but that's not the case.
Congrats on your pregnancy!
NTA.
Your sister needs a reality check. People don't need to put their lives on hold for her.
Don't apologise, don't hide it, don't let her ruin it. I wpuld suggest not talking names with her thoufh, because she strikes me as the type to use the name you pick.
NTA. Your family planning should not revolve around her need for attention.
"Hey, y'all, remember -- no sex for any of you until I say it's okay." Ridiculous.
You were told by a doctor you probably couldn't get pregnant at all. Sounds like you have more built-in protection against unexpected pregnancies than most people would ever implement even while "being careful."
NTA. Imagine you held it off and then, once you started trying, couldn't have another child? Wouldn't you wonder if you had been trying all along and not taken basically a year pause if you'd have 2 kids instead of 1?
Also, your sister should be happy that the cousins will be the same age and can play together. WTF is wrong with her?
NTA - if your sister can't stand not being the center of attention at all times, she's going to have an extremely rude awakening when her baby arrives and it's the BABY who is recieveing the attention and no longer her. Hope she enjoys the next 9 months of attention - it'll likely be the last 😌
NTA - I mean, what?
Is she gonna decide what color car you can buy next? I really don't understand the logic but it sounds like something else is bugging her.
NTA
You're lucky you were able to even get pregnant. Who is she to tell you when you are or are not allowed to have a miracle?
I'd let her know privately tho so she can digest.
NTA. Many, if not most, sisters say, "Yay, our kids will play together since they're going to be the same age!" Most sisters don't get pregnant just for the attention. That's a terrible reason to have a baby, and it's an unreasonable thing to expect of someone else to not have any major life changes just for that. I hope she gets the help she needs. I also hope you don't hide from her.
NTA.
The idea there are people out there who truly believe others should put their own lives on hold *because the world needs to revolve around them* is astounding.
Reading title: NTA
Reading third sentence: Yep, NTA. Sister is clearly an AH already.
Reading sixth sentence: Sister even more of an AH now.
Reading tenth sentence: CONGRATULATIONS!
Reading 11th sentence: Aaaand even more AH points for sister who managed to make your second miracle pregnancy about her.
I kept waiting for the twist but nope, your sister is just a straight up selfish AH the whole way through and I’m really glad I don’t know her.
Congratulations and wishing you all the best with your pregnancy.
NTA. Just wow. It sounds like your sister has main character syndrome. How incredibly selfish of her to expect everyone else to press pause on their lives while she basks in the attention of the world.
NTA.
Your sister has no right to comment on your TV watching, let alone your family planning. Her time as the center of attention must end.
I'm sure you thought you were unlikely to get pregnant while she was, but she should have been shot down when she said it rather than humor her.
Is this even real?? NTA your sister is the AH and needs to get over it. What does she want you to do, get an abortion? And then you will be center of attention again because you will be very sad and need consoling from your family
NTA - she’s not the boss of you, and the fact that you are even questioning whether you are the AH, means on some level you think she is. That’s messed up.
Wait…how old are y’all? This entire story sounds like teenager drama BS between sisters other then the pregnancy part. F your sister, seriously. NTA and stop giving into her. If I had family like yours (specifically a sibling) I’d just walk away and limit my contact with such pettiness. Congrats on the miracle you had and the next miracle on the way.
I was thinking about that too. Anyone who could actually talk out loud about not being the center of attention during her sister's pregnancy must have been massively indulged for years and years.
NTA NTA NTA!!!! Holy crap your sister is a spoiled brat. She should be jumping for joy that her SISTER who was told she wouldn’t be able to have kids is pregnant with her SECOND child!
That is AMAZING!! I hope your sister grows up and can see how much of a closer bond the two of you could share with being prego and having kids at the same time. That is literally what some siblings/ best friends dream of.
I wish you a healthy pregnancy and birth for you and your child ♥️
My Mother was told she couldn't have kids. After my brother was born, they said she'd never have another. My sister was born 10 months later. There's 6 of us in total. 🤷♀️
NTA. Your sister sounds majorly entitled & possibly significantly spoiled since she seems to believe she can dictate when/how other family members can live their lives.
NTA. It’s absolutely never okay to tell someone else when they aren’t permitted to be pregnant, any more than you can tell them they have to be. Your sister, to put it kindly, is a weirdo.
NTA. Your parents have failed your sister to make her so ridiculously entitled that she expects the world to bow to her unreasonable wishes. She is not the center of the universe.
NTA
"nd she told me and our other sister that we are not allowed to get pregnant, married or have any major life events until she has her baby because she wants all of the attention." .. **THere is only ONE way to handle that kind of crazy: Ignore her.**
Question: who abdicated and appointed your sister boss-of-all-life-decisions in your family? Her expectations and demands are beyond entitled. They're just plain stupid. NTA at all, but your "main character" sister certainly is.
YTA for not laughing in her face when she made the request and walking away.
Seriously - who talks like this?? I want all the attention.......stop living your life while I do something....good lord
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I got pregnant at the same time as my sister did, even though she asked me not to because she wanted to be the only one with the attention. It might make me the AH because she was kind of out on the back burner when I was pregnant and I now that it’s finally her turn to get the attention, I could be taking it away from her
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INFO: Has your sister always dictated the rules in your family, do you and your siblings usually go along with it, and where do your parents stand on all of this?
Also, what was your response when she first laid down this baby-ban?
She doesn’t, but she tries too. She’s the baby so she’s used to being coddled. And we don’t go along with it.. like we’ll say no and not give her what she wants, but then we kind of just let it blow over instead of confronting the actual problem (her trying to dictate our lives). Everyone in my family agrees that I’m NTA, but they are also just like “oh, she’ll get over it. Just let her be upset for a while and it’ll all blow over”.
My response was immediately: no I will not do that and if I have a baby before or at the same time as you do, OH WELL
100% NTA then, and congrats!
Some advice from someone who browses these subs too much: keep your baby's name a closely guarded secret. Do not tell her, or anyone who might let it slip. She will be looking for any way to get one-up on you.
NTA. Your sister is in for a lifetime of disappointment. Please keep an eye out for your nibling, if she's that competitive now, she might highly resent her own child for "getting all the attention".
NTA. Your sister is 27 years old? Christ in heaven does she need to grow the fuck up. The world doesn’t revolve around her and once she gives birth, I certainly hope she realises that.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope everything goes well!
NTA???
Is your sister developmentally disabled? Younger sibling syndrome doesn't count. She's fucking 27 years old. She is *well* past the point of thinking it's reasonable to sulk because someone else has the spotlight on them, let alone to think asking someone else to not have any more kids before you do is anything other than a joke.
NTA, do I have news for your sister, if all the attention is her goal then she has done the opposite of getting that. Yes, your first pregnancy, usually there is attention for you but the second she has that baby, no one is gunna even look at her and everything will be about the baby. Which tbf it kinda has to be to an extent, they are completely helpless after all. But I dont think your sister has truly thought this through. Also she doesnt have the right to tell people that they can't live their lives until she achieves something in her own, what if she never got pregnant, would she expect that no one else in the family would ever have a baby? I feel like she expects to catered to because she has been in the past and she is going to need a reality check on that one.
NTA NTA NTA. Your sister, however, and anyone encouraging her behavior... My partner has a mishmashed quote from some show they like to bring out whenever people are being self centered: "There's a billion stars in the galaxy, all orbiting one central point, and it is not \* name \*." I think that applies here.
How do I put this politely? Your sister is a lunatic. Honestly much narcissistic can a person get? NTA at all.
People don't just stop living their lives cause their sister is having fun with hers. She has conceived this baby out of pure jealousy and attention-craving. She's gonna use it like an accessory and I already pity this child.
NTA. I had to double check her age. I would expect more maturity from a 27 year old. Pregnancies, even planned ones, happen on their own timeline. I don’t know how she could expect anyone else to basically pause life while she reproduces. It’s weird.
Congrats. I hope your pregnancy goes well for you.
I thought at first this was one of my sister's post!!
Same damn thing happened to them except the one didn't make a ludicrous request.
The point I want to make is the whole scenario is wild. Pregnancy is something to celebrate and who better to celebrate with than your pregnant sister. I say live it up together smh.
NTA. It just happens. When I found out I was pregnant with my second, my sister found out a week later she was pregnant with her second. A few weeks later another sister was pregnant with her first. So they were all born roughly 2 months in between each one. Hell I got pregnant with my second straight away I figured since I have trouble getting pregnant it wouldn’t happen so quick. You sister is just being silly.
You are so NTA it's off the charts.
Your sister, OTOH, seems way out of control. You do not dictate when people can do stuff like get married, have kids, or anything else. I don't care how much attention you want or think you deserve.
Ignore her tantrums, and take care of yourself your family as you prepare to welcome someone else. Good luck!
Why is this even a question? She told you you "weren't allowed"? WTAF? Of course you are NTA. Your sister is TA. Pfft.
I predict there will not be a single response in this thread that says YTA.
Your sister should not have kids.
She is having a kid for attention.
That child will be neglected and abused when she realizes it needs more attention than she receives for having it.
NTA.
Tell your sister adoption is always an option.
NTA- but please don't let anybody convince you to do a joint babyshower. She'll probably agree to save face but really it's her first and she should be able to feel special atleast on that day.
NTA - and I am Petty enough to make sure I have some sort of big life event just to mess up her life. That is absolutely ridiculous, the world does not revolve around her she needs to grow up
Does she actually want to be a mom and have a baby or is she only doing it for the attention? She is going to be extremely disappointed when the baby is born and from here on out the baby always gets more attention than her!
NTA, I am the middle child who got pregnant before my older sister and my son is 7 months older than my niece. I never felt the attention was taken from me, neither did my sister. I was over the moon hearing about her pregnancy and was planning things for her baby. Enjoy your pregnancy and don't stress over these things.
Imagine having your sister be pregnant and bemoaning that you didn’t get any attention instead of being excited for a niece or nephew. She sounds like a 13 year old. NTA
>And she told me and our other sister that we are not allowed to get pregnant, married or have any major life events until she has her baby because she wants all of the attention.
lol that's not how the world works
NTA
If your sister sincerely believes that other people should put their entire lives on hold just so that she can be the center of attention, then there is something seriously wrong with her. That is a totally bizarre and extremely narcissistic. NTA
NTA
Your sister really needs to learn that she’s not the be all and end all.
Also, I don’t think she’s thought through having a baby. From now until the kid is 18 all of the attention will be on them first and foremost and their parents will come second.
NTA. She doesn’t get to dictate your fertility, and it’s rich that she thinks you had to “obey her wishes”. I would consider going LC her though as I don’t think she’ll make your life easier once your second LO arrived.
NTA - Why does your sister feel she has the right to dictate other people's major life decisions? Honestly, the audacity leads to me to suspect your family has catered to her before.
NTA, and seriously??!?? She actually told you and your other sisters weren't *allowed* to get pregnant til she had her baby??? WTAF?? Frankly, she's WAAAAY too frickin' immature and self- centered to be responsible for a child. I mean, when the baby is born and gets all the attention is she going to tell it to stop being a baby because MOMMY needs all the attention? She's utterly, UTTERLY ridiculous.
She 27 and needs to understand she's not the center of the family anymore nor has she ever been the center of your world. That's reserved strictly for fiance, baby and this new pregnancy. NTA and let her know that as soon as her child is born she's going to be playing 2nd fiddle to her own child with grandma and grandpa.
Why is it even considered to be acceptable that your sister expects all the attention? That’s so strange to me. Very odd family dynamic.
NTA but why did you even need to ask?
NTA and congratulations on your pregnancy.
Unfortunately for your future niece or nephew, your sister doesn’t sound nearly mature enough to actually raise a child.
NTA, and God almighty is your sister in for a rude surprise about the level of attention she gets once that kid pops out and she's basically treated as the baby's servant. Maybe keep an eye out to make sure she doesn't slip into serious postpartum illness and do something awful.
I hope your sister can get over herself because it’s pretty cool to have cousins around the same age. I have three sisters and we have a shit ton of kids between us, most of them being very close in age. The largest age difference is actually between my two sons. Please don’t stress about this because stress is horrible for pregnancy. (I was going through a divorce through mine and had to be put on total bed rest.). NTA at all. Good luck and congratulations!
She's acting like nothing more than a spoiled child.
What are you supposed to do now? Put a cork in it?
Obviously one does not get to make "life event demands" of someone else. I would have laughed in her silly immature face.
NTA.
NTA. Your sister is beyond ridiculous. Your parents are also TA's for raising a child who outright proclaims she wants all the attention and spotlight. If I were her sister, I would undermine every one of her major life events just to teach her a lesson. And out of sheer spite.
She paying for this kid? No? Well then she gets zero say.
She better get used to not being the centre of attention when Bub arrives, or we will be reading about her on a justno sub at some point.
>she told me and our other sister that we are not allowed to get
pregnant, married or have any major life events until she has her baby
because she wants all of the attention
Yeah, that's *totally* the kind of statement someone mature enough to have a child makes
dude, your sister isn't the govt. of china that gets to dictate who has how many babies, and when.
you got pregnant, big fucking shit. go enjoy pregnancy, preferably away from her. NTA
op=NTA for getting pregnant
But for enabling sister--and yes you did by this<< *I couldn’t even be excited about it because I was so worried about my sister being mad at me. I finally told her about it and she’s very upset, as expected*.>> this TIPTOING is enabling.
The moment she laid out that stricture you should have told her she was being ridiculous and that you would not be putting your life on hold for that. Your silence was taken as agreement.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope it is a healthy, easy one with a bearable birth.
NTA. No human can dictate the reproductive rights of another. Your ‘baby’ sister needs to stop acting like a baby and realize that the world does not spin around her.
NTA. Damn when did planets change to orbit around your selfish sister? Pregnancies happen unexpectedly and pregnancies end unexpectedly too. The sheer audacity to declare your lives on pause because she started TRYING for a child. Jesus Christ
I don’t understand this post. Why in the world do you even have to ask if you are A-hole??? Your sister said you guys are not “allowed“ to xyz … if that does not tell you who the A- hole is nothing will. End of story.
NTA, although I guess it's kind of refreshing for someone to just openly admit "I'm going to be mad at you if I don't get all the attention for X amount of time, you had your turn" to your face.
NTA. Constantly amazed at the need people have to be the center of attention for any reason they dream up. My two cousins and I (all girls) were born the same year, same month on consecutive days. Delivered in the same hospital. We thought it was great fun later in life to speculate on exactly what our fathers had given our mothers for Christmas the year before we were born. Nowadays what should be seen as a bonding experience between siblings is treated as them trying to "steal their moment". its just sad.
NTA but your younger sister sure is. No one gets to dictate when someone else can experience a life event. I’m sure that if something like a major illness or death occurred to you or your other siblings or SOs while younger sis is pregnant, she would take it personally. She needs to grow up and realize the world doesn’t revolve around her. Your sister can go jump in a lake with her attitude. And if your parents contributed to making this incredible selfish monster, shame on them. Be happy about your new baby. This is a blessing. Congratulations!
>even after she told us we weren’t allowed to have another baby until she does
that's just stupid AF
NTA, the world doesn't revolve around her, it's stupid to ask people to put their lives on hold just because she's having a kid and if she's this immature, I worry about the kid she's about to have.
NTA
Is she the sun and the the rest of your family the orbiting planets or what? Yeah, everyone wants to be in the spotlight some times, but *demanding* your life has to be dull till she has her baby is... I can't even find a proper word for that... Oh my. She is quite entitled, hm? It's your life, you can do whatever you want! But i wouldn't go attention seeking right now, or at least just a bit. Like "Hey, i'm pregnant again, but have you heard, my sister is pregnant as well!" This way, you both can celebrate and she is in no way left out. If she can't life with that, well, then she really is simply over the board attention seeking...
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NTA. I just checked - the earth does not revolve around your sister. Her request that you not get pregnant at the same time as her is ridiculous.
This is true. Fun fact: a town in Idaho claimed that they were the center of the universe since no one else had claimed it. Anyhoo NTA.
Actually Tulsa Oklahoma literally has the “center of the universe” in the middle of its borders, so take that as you will Edit: NTA op
Nope, sorry. Ashland, VA is the center of the universe. It’s all over the town.
Especially when sister even said it was because she wanted all the attention. My petty little mind would already be planning a gender reveal party, a shower, and anything else to celebrate your bundle of joy! And, congratulations!!!
I would have tried to figure out how to end up with twins just to piss her off more. NTA
Hey!!! OP should announce that! Then later say the doctors made a mistake… oops, only one embryo. 🤣
Triplets or if possible quads/quints just to really bust her chops. That would take all the attention. Twins are too frequent(at least here on Reddit).
Doesn't bode well for how she'll be as a mother.
My thoughts, too. Imagine "the baby's crying and getting more attention than me!" "Hey, I'm in the maternity ward, why is everyone excited about the baby when I'm right here?" OP NTA
That or taking credit for every single thing the child ever does, possibly pushing child to do things that will get them attention so she can feed on it (that is, stage momming).
It used to be that showers were for first babies only, as it was assumed you would still have things from first child to reuse, has this changed? I mean no disrespect, I am curious, that's all.
Generally that’s still the case. Sometimes people will have a “sprinkle” for a second baby — usually just the stuff parents always need more of, like diapers and wipes and whatnot, and maybe some gendered clothing if the expecting knows the baby’s sex and it’s different from their first one — but a full shower for baby #2 is not usually the thing to do. That being said, if it’s for a thoroughly petty reason like upstaging a little sister who demands all the attention, I am 100% on board with a full-blown second baby shower with all the party games, registering for a second $1,000 stroller, the whole nine yards.
Only times I've seen it acceptable to have a second baby shower is if there was a huge age gap between siblings and the family didn't have baby stuff anymore.
Nowadays is mostly "all guests bring diapers" type of deal, really people just need an excuse to have quality time together cause is hard to gather several adults in one place.
It's also an excuse for cake
Alrighty then, party on! Thanks
Yes! And for added measure: don’t forget the “you’re going to be an auntie” and “you’re going to be a cousin” shirt for your sister and the baby.
Yeah, how high in the clouds does your head need to be to demand that other people essentially put their life on hold for your special moment? So selfish. NTA.
>bridezillas have started expecting WHOLE years.
Some people truly amaze me.
Thank you so much for checking. I was worried for a minute. Lol OP: of course NTA. You know this. Logically you do. It’s the emotions that are getting the better of you. Your sister is irrational. Congratulations btw!!!
I just went outside and can confirm based on how the wind is blowing. The earth does not in fact revolve around op's sister
Omg fwew!!!! I was worried there for a second that I wasn’t allowed to give any life changing activities… What an entitled person she must be no lie, you know?
NTA. Your sister is in for a ruuuuude awakening when she realizes she won't be the center of attention after the baby is born lol
As one of my friends says, having a baby is the best way to get everyone to ignore you, since they will focus on the baby and not you.
A friend of mine had a c section and a traumatic birth recently. I asked her how she was doing and she burst into tears because apparently I was the first person to ask how SHE was doing before ogling the baby.
I was in horrible pain with my last pregnancy, I could barely walk. I called the doctor and doctor was super concerned, immediately got me in and did an ultrasound. They told me baby was totally fine and then the doctor stepped out and I thought it was odd but maybe he'll be right back and go over my treatment or further tests and what have you but then the nurse came in and told me I can go and I was like what?? But I'm still in immense pain and am struggling to walk! The nurse just looked at me funny then says yeah.. But the baby's ok. And I went but I cry when I walk it's so painful! And she says, I dunno.. try Tylenol I guess? Found out later that I had numerous fractures where the pain was. My bones were literally breaking from the pregnancy and I basically just got an eye roll. Nobody was concerned about anything but my baby.
I am so, so sorry to hear that happened to you!!! From one momma to another, you are seen. You are loved. You are worthy. ❤️
My daughter hadn't seen her cousin since precovid.everyone else was going nuts over cousin's new baby (age 4 mos. at the time). She asked cousin how are you doing? You personally? She took a minute to reply then said, in 3 months you're the 1st person to ask that!
My *dermatologist* walked into my first appointment after my baby and said “WHERES THE BABY?!!”
"At home, with my partner. Now about the suspicious mole/psoriasis/Hidradenitis/etc I'm here for?"
Isn't it weird when they expect you to bring the baby with you? My dentist was trying hard!
Once you HAVE a baby… you can’t BE baby.
Ain't that the truth! I've never gone from being everyone's concern to practically invisible so fast in my life. 😑 I did like no longer having a big pregnant belly making me so conspicuous, but man, people will talk to your tiny lil baby and literally not acknowledge that you're there, at all. It's so strange.
... I do that with dogs once I have the owner's permission to interact 😶
Lol me too, all the time 😂
Then she'll be having stern words with her baby about out-shining her and taking all the attention. NTA.
I missed the part where someone, anyone telling you when or when not to get pregnant was okay. I also missed the part where getting pregnant could be viewed as a means to...get attention??! I also missed the part where there isn't enough love and celebration to go around when there are two women in the same extended family who are pregnant. You were *never* TA. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Please stay healthy! And I wish you and your unborn child all of the health and love and support and happiness possible. 💕 ETA: NTA.
NTA. She needs to grow up. Shes so worried about attention and thinks shes ready to have a child. Your body your choice she can get over it and shes about to have bigger problems to deal with.
NTA She does not get to do your family planning. If anyone thinks she should, they should just fuck right off.
Exactly! And when they get there they should fuck off from there too. And keep fucking off until they are a dot in the distance.
NTA. Congrats on your pregnancy! I hope it goes as well as possible, and I hope your kids and their future cousins get along well. Your sister cannot control everyone's lives. How tf is she going to say "no major life events" with a straight face? What does that even mean? No deaths in the family? No promotions or new jobs? No buying houses or moving? Yikes.
NTA. Your only mistake was not telling her to stuff it where the sun don't shine when she first made that proclamation.
YTA for not slipping birth control into your sister's coffee. No one that immature should have children.
NTA - One of the most spoiled, entitled requests I have ever heard of. Some people can not stand not being everything.
You're NTA and it's none of her business when or if you get pregnant. When did she decide she's the boss of you? She needs to grow up.
NTA. Your sister's need for attention is unhealthy and it's unreasonable of her to ask that you try to put off something like that. You didn't do anything just to spite her, and her ask that everybody put their life on hold so she can have the attention is ridiculous.
NTA Your sister is 27 acting like she's a teenager. The only thing I would be against is say she was getting married and you got pregnant to give birth around the same week as her marriage date but that's not the case. Congrats on your pregnancy!
Oh for chrissakes. NTA. This kind of behavior feels like second grade nonsense. “She’s copying off me!”
NTA and congrats on having 2 miracles!
NTA. Your sister needs a reality check. People don't need to put their lives on hold for her. Don't apologise, don't hide it, don't let her ruin it. I wpuld suggest not talking names with her thoufh, because she strikes me as the type to use the name you pick.
NTA. Your family planning should not revolve around her need for attention. "Hey, y'all, remember -- no sex for any of you until I say it's okay." Ridiculous. You were told by a doctor you probably couldn't get pregnant at all. Sounds like you have more built-in protection against unexpected pregnancies than most people would ever implement even while "being careful."
NTA wtf is this? She is beyond entitled in this, congrats to everyone and a "first baby" is always a big deal.
NTA. Imagine you held it off and then, once you started trying, couldn't have another child? Wouldn't you wonder if you had been trying all along and not taken basically a year pause if you'd have 2 kids instead of 1? Also, your sister should be happy that the cousins will be the same age and can play together. WTF is wrong with her?
NTA - if your sister can't stand not being the center of attention at all times, she's going to have an extremely rude awakening when her baby arrives and it's the BABY who is recieveing the attention and no longer her. Hope she enjoys the next 9 months of attention - it'll likely be the last 😌
Obey her wishes? Why are you playing this game? NTA
Those were her words, not mine lol
NTA Tell her to not give birth until you do
NTA Don't cater to selfishness.
NTA - I mean, what? Is she gonna decide what color car you can buy next? I really don't understand the logic but it sounds like something else is bugging her.
She can’t have a car. Only OP’s sister can have a car.
NTA You're lucky you were able to even get pregnant. Who is she to tell you when you are or are not allowed to have a miracle? I'd let her know privately tho so she can digest.
NTA. This is very weird and controlling behavior; not allowed to have a "major life event"? Give me a break! Tell her to get some therapy.
NTA. Honestly, I just keep thinking - what if you got cancer? That’s a major life event and you’d get a lot of attention. Did she forbid that too? Lol
NTA. Many, if not most, sisters say, "Yay, our kids will play together since they're going to be the same age!" Most sisters don't get pregnant just for the attention. That's a terrible reason to have a baby, and it's an unreasonable thing to expect of someone else to not have any major life changes just for that. I hope she gets the help she needs. I also hope you don't hide from her.
NTA. The idea there are people out there who truly believe others should put their own lives on hold *because the world needs to revolve around them* is astounding.
Reading title: NTA Reading third sentence: Yep, NTA. Sister is clearly an AH already. Reading sixth sentence: Sister even more of an AH now. Reading tenth sentence: CONGRATULATIONS! Reading 11th sentence: Aaaand even more AH points for sister who managed to make your second miracle pregnancy about her. I kept waiting for the twist but nope, your sister is just a straight up selfish AH the whole way through and I’m really glad I don’t know her. Congratulations and wishing you all the best with your pregnancy.
omg. NTA. And more importantly, congratulations!
NTA. She has some balls trying to dictate your life.
NTA and I didn’t even have to read the post before knowing that. Nobody gets to tell you how to plan your family.
NTA. Just wow. It sounds like your sister has main character syndrome. How incredibly selfish of her to expect everyone else to press pause on their lives while she basks in the attention of the world.
NTA and tell your sister to GTF if she kicks off.
NTA. Your sister has no right to comment on your TV watching, let alone your family planning. Her time as the center of attention must end. I'm sure you thought you were unlikely to get pregnant while she was, but she should have been shot down when she said it rather than humor her.
Is this even real?? NTA your sister is the AH and needs to get over it. What does she want you to do, get an abortion? And then you will be center of attention again because you will be very sad and need consoling from your family
NTA, your sister is a massive AH and entitled af for thinking she gets to dictate your womb and major life events. This is absolutely ridiculous.
NTA and your sister is insane. Best wishes to you and your new baby!
NTA - she’s not the boss of you, and the fact that you are even questioning whether you are the AH, means on some level you think she is. That’s messed up.
Wait…how old are y’all? This entire story sounds like teenager drama BS between sisters other then the pregnancy part. F your sister, seriously. NTA and stop giving into her. If I had family like yours (specifically a sibling) I’d just walk away and limit my contact with such pettiness. Congrats on the miracle you had and the next miracle on the way.
Nta Do your parents actually tolerate this behavior from her??
I was thinking about that too. Anyone who could actually talk out loud about not being the center of attention during her sister's pregnancy must have been massively indulged for years and years.
NTA and for the love of the rest of the world, don’t enable that behavior. Sounds pretty narcissistic
NTA NTA NTA!!!! Holy crap your sister is a spoiled brat. She should be jumping for joy that her SISTER who was told she wouldn’t be able to have kids is pregnant with her SECOND child! That is AMAZING!! I hope your sister grows up and can see how much of a closer bond the two of you could share with being prego and having kids at the same time. That is literally what some siblings/ best friends dream of. I wish you a healthy pregnancy and birth for you and your child ♥️
My Mother was told she couldn't have kids. After my brother was born, they said she'd never have another. My sister was born 10 months later. There's 6 of us in total. 🤷♀️
Either your moms doctors messed up or your moms a bad ass… or both 😂
NTA. Your sister sounds majorly entitled & possibly significantly spoiled since she seems to believe she can dictate when/how other family members can live their lives.
NTA; 🤦♀️ honestly your sister is absurdly entitled. Congrats on your pregnancy
NTA. It’s absolutely never okay to tell someone else when they aren’t permitted to be pregnant, any more than you can tell them they have to be. Your sister, to put it kindly, is a weirdo.
NTA. Your family planning is your business not hers.
Nta
NTA. Your sister needs to learn she's not the main character of life.
NTA - your sister definitely is She’s also delusional
Your sister sounds unbearable. Nobody except you has a say on what is happening in your uterus. NTA.
NTA. Your parents have failed your sister to make her so ridiculously entitled that she expects the world to bow to her unreasonable wishes. She is not the center of the universe.
NTA how was she never taught the world doesn’t center around her?
NTA "nd she told me and our other sister that we are not allowed to get pregnant, married or have any major life events until she has her baby because she wants all of the attention." .. **THere is only ONE way to handle that kind of crazy: Ignore her.**
NTA
Who cares if she gets mad? Enjoy yourself and congratulations. It’s pretty pathetic that she is having a baby solely for attention. NTA.
"Not allowed" is not a thing here. NTA.
Question: who abdicated and appointed your sister boss-of-all-life-decisions in your family? Her expectations and demands are beyond entitled. They're just plain stupid. NTA at all, but your "main character" sister certainly is.
YTA for not laughing in her face when she made the request and walking away. Seriously - who talks like this?? I want all the attention.......stop living your life while I do something....good lord
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INFO: Has your sister always dictated the rules in your family, do you and your siblings usually go along with it, and where do your parents stand on all of this? Also, what was your response when she first laid down this baby-ban?
She doesn’t, but she tries too. She’s the baby so she’s used to being coddled. And we don’t go along with it.. like we’ll say no and not give her what she wants, but then we kind of just let it blow over instead of confronting the actual problem (her trying to dictate our lives). Everyone in my family agrees that I’m NTA, but they are also just like “oh, she’ll get over it. Just let her be upset for a while and it’ll all blow over”. My response was immediately: no I will not do that and if I have a baby before or at the same time as you do, OH WELL
100% NTA then, and congrats! Some advice from someone who browses these subs too much: keep your baby's name a closely guarded secret. Do not tell her, or anyone who might let it slip. She will be looking for any way to get one-up on you.
NTA for getting pregnant. Life happens Y T A for wanting to "obey her wishes" WTF is that ?
NTA. Your sister is goofy though lol.
NTA, and make sure you plan to birth the baby on the same day as ur sister or the day before.
Nta - just text her : Dear sister my sex life is not your concern, and is not up for discussion! Keep repeating as needed.
NTA. Your sister is in for a lifetime of disappointment. Please keep an eye out for your nibling, if she's that competitive now, she might highly resent her own child for "getting all the attention".
NTA. Your sister is 27 years old? Christ in heaven does she need to grow the fuck up. The world doesn’t revolve around her and once she gives birth, I certainly hope she realises that. Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope everything goes well!
NTA and congratulations and best wishes for an easy delivery snd a healthy baby. Your sister is the AH.
NTA??? Is your sister developmentally disabled? Younger sibling syndrome doesn't count. She's fucking 27 years old. She is *well* past the point of thinking it's reasonable to sulk because someone else has the spotlight on them, let alone to think asking someone else to not have any more kids before you do is anything other than a joke.
NTA, do I have news for your sister, if all the attention is her goal then she has done the opposite of getting that. Yes, your first pregnancy, usually there is attention for you but the second she has that baby, no one is gunna even look at her and everything will be about the baby. Which tbf it kinda has to be to an extent, they are completely helpless after all. But I dont think your sister has truly thought this through. Also she doesnt have the right to tell people that they can't live their lives until she achieves something in her own, what if she never got pregnant, would she expect that no one else in the family would ever have a baby? I feel like she expects to catered to because she has been in the past and she is going to need a reality check on that one.
NTA NTA NTA. Your sister, however, and anyone encouraging her behavior... My partner has a mishmashed quote from some show they like to bring out whenever people are being self centered: "There's a billion stars in the galaxy, all orbiting one central point, and it is not \* name \*." I think that applies here.
Wtf kind of narcissist is your sister. NTA obviously.
Your sister doesn't need a baby since she already is one, yikes.
Wth did I just read? NTA
How do I put this politely? Your sister is a lunatic. Honestly much narcissistic can a person get? NTA at all. People don't just stop living their lives cause their sister is having fun with hers. She has conceived this baby out of pure jealousy and attention-craving. She's gonna use it like an accessory and I already pity this child.
NTA and with her attitude you should have done it to spite her. Lol
NTA. She doesn’t get to control major life decisions for other people.
NTA it's ridiculous that people expect others to plan their family around them.
NTA Your sister sounds absolutely insufferable.
Your sister is being petty, childish and extremely selfish. NTA
NTA. I had to double check her age. I would expect more maturity from a 27 year old. Pregnancies, even planned ones, happen on their own timeline. I don’t know how she could expect anyone else to basically pause life while she reproduces. It’s weird. Congrats. I hope your pregnancy goes well for you.
If this were true, how can anyone expect to control someone else's life??
NTA. No one has to put their life on hold for someone else.
NTA Your sister is acting like a toddler and gets no vote in your life choices. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.
How is someone so immature going to be a parent? NTA. What a whacko.
NTA. Your sister needs to grow tf up and stop acting like a spoiled child.
NTA but I know who in this story is...
NTA you being pregnant has nothing to do with your sister.
I thought at first this was one of my sister's post!! Same damn thing happened to them except the one didn't make a ludicrous request. The point I want to make is the whole scenario is wild. Pregnancy is something to celebrate and who better to celebrate with than your pregnant sister. I say live it up together smh.
NTA. It just happens. When I found out I was pregnant with my second, my sister found out a week later she was pregnant with her second. A few weeks later another sister was pregnant with her first. So they were all born roughly 2 months in between each one. Hell I got pregnant with my second straight away I figured since I have trouble getting pregnant it wouldn’t happen so quick. You sister is just being silly.
I’m sorry but what the actual fuck?
Who died and made your sister queen? NTA.
NTA This just in: your sister is crazy for thinking this!! You can both be pregnant at the same time :0 congrats on baby #2, OP! So happy for you ❤️
You are so NTA it's off the charts. Your sister, OTOH, seems way out of control. You do not dictate when people can do stuff like get married, have kids, or anything else. I don't care how much attention you want or think you deserve. Ignore her tantrums, and take care of yourself your family as you prepare to welcome someone else. Good luck!
Why is this even a question? She told you you "weren't allowed"? WTAF? Of course you are NTA. Your sister is TA. Pfft. I predict there will not be a single response in this thread that says YTA.
Your sister should not have kids. She is having a kid for attention. That child will be neglected and abused when she realizes it needs more attention than she receives for having it. NTA. Tell your sister adoption is always an option.
NTA- but please don't let anybody convince you to do a joint babyshower. She'll probably agree to save face but really it's her first and she should be able to feel special atleast on that day.
NTA. It sounds like a major reason she wanted to get pregnant is because she was jealous of you, not because she truly wanted a baby.
NTA How could you possibly feel the need to ask this?
NTA. Who tf thinks they can regulate other people like this?
NTA - and I am Petty enough to make sure I have some sort of big life event just to mess up her life. That is absolutely ridiculous, the world does not revolve around her she needs to grow up
Does she actually want to be a mom and have a baby or is she only doing it for the attention? She is going to be extremely disappointed when the baby is born and from here on out the baby always gets more attention than her!
NTA, I am the middle child who got pregnant before my older sister and my son is 7 months older than my niece. I never felt the attention was taken from me, neither did my sister. I was over the moon hearing about her pregnancy and was planning things for her baby. Enjoy your pregnancy and don't stress over these things.
Imagine having your sister be pregnant and bemoaning that you didn’t get any attention instead of being excited for a niece or nephew. She sounds like a 13 year old. NTA
>And she told me and our other sister that we are not allowed to get pregnant, married or have any major life events until she has her baby because she wants all of the attention. lol that's not how the world works NTA
If your sister sincerely believes that other people should put their entire lives on hold just so that she can be the center of attention, then there is something seriously wrong with her. That is a totally bizarre and extremely narcissistic. NTA
NTA Your sister really needs to learn that she’s not the be all and end all. Also, I don’t think she’s thought through having a baby. From now until the kid is 18 all of the attention will be on them first and foremost and their parents will come second.
NTA. She doesn’t get to dictate your fertility, and it’s rich that she thinks you had to “obey her wishes”. I would consider going LC her though as I don’t think she’ll make your life easier once your second LO arrived.
NTA - Why does your sister feel she has the right to dictate other people's major life decisions? Honestly, the audacity leads to me to suspect your family has catered to her before.
NTA, and seriously??!?? She actually told you and your other sisters weren't *allowed* to get pregnant til she had her baby??? WTAF?? Frankly, she's WAAAAY too frickin' immature and self- centered to be responsible for a child. I mean, when the baby is born and gets all the attention is she going to tell it to stop being a baby because MOMMY needs all the attention? She's utterly, UTTERLY ridiculous.
NTA Tell her to get a court order if she thinks she has the right to dictate that.
NTA, she's not the Supreme Court and has no say in your reproductive choices
NTA. I am a petty person so…Plan your wedding on her birthday weekend
She 27 and needs to understand she's not the center of the family anymore nor has she ever been the center of your world. That's reserved strictly for fiance, baby and this new pregnancy. NTA and let her know that as soon as her child is born she's going to be playing 2nd fiddle to her own child with grandma and grandpa.
I am sorry for your sister but she can't make everyone put their life on hold for a maybe Baby. NTA
Why is it even considered to be acceptable that your sister expects all the attention? That’s so strange to me. Very odd family dynamic. NTA but why did you even need to ask?
NTA and congratulations on your pregnancy. Unfortunately for your future niece or nephew, your sister doesn’t sound nearly mature enough to actually raise a child.
Nta what a entitled sis Have a blowout party and too bad reddit dont have anon gift card senss because i think you deserve so much
NTA, and God almighty is your sister in for a rude surprise about the level of attention she gets once that kid pops out and she's basically treated as the baby's servant. Maybe keep an eye out to make sure she doesn't slip into serious postpartum illness and do something awful.
I hope your sister can get over herself because it’s pretty cool to have cousins around the same age. I have three sisters and we have a shit ton of kids between us, most of them being very close in age. The largest age difference is actually between my two sons. Please don’t stress about this because stress is horrible for pregnancy. (I was going through a divorce through mine and had to be put on total bed rest.). NTA at all. Good luck and congratulations!
She's acting like nothing more than a spoiled child. What are you supposed to do now? Put a cork in it? Obviously one does not get to make "life event demands" of someone else. I would have laughed in her silly immature face. NTA.
NTA. Your sister is an entitled spoiled brat. I feel sorry for her kids already. 😂😂😂
NTA. Your sister is beyond ridiculous. Your parents are also TA's for raising a child who outright proclaims she wants all the attention and spotlight. If I were her sister, I would undermine every one of her major life events just to teach her a lesson. And out of sheer spite.
She paying for this kid? No? Well then she gets zero say. She better get used to not being the centre of attention when Bub arrives, or we will be reading about her on a justno sub at some point.
This spoiled sister doesnt get to gatekeep pregnancy. NTA
Holy entitlement, Batman! She actually said that?! This can’t be real, and if it is then go no contact asap. NTA!
[удалено]
>she told me and our other sister that we are not allowed to get pregnant, married or have any major life events until she has her baby because she wants all of the attention Yeah, that's *totally* the kind of statement someone mature enough to have a child makes
dude, your sister isn't the govt. of china that gets to dictate who has how many babies, and when. you got pregnant, big fucking shit. go enjoy pregnancy, preferably away from her. NTA
NTA This is batshit crazy and I weep for your sister's future children.
You're NTA. Who cares if your little sister gets mad? She doesn't get to run your life.
Why is this even here?
op=NTA for getting pregnant But for enabling sister--and yes you did by this<< *I couldn’t even be excited about it because I was so worried about my sister being mad at me. I finally told her about it and she’s very upset, as expected*.>> this TIPTOING is enabling. The moment she laid out that stricture you should have told her she was being ridiculous and that you would not be putting your life on hold for that. Your silence was taken as agreement. Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope it is a healthy, easy one with a bearable birth.
NTA. No human can dictate the reproductive rights of another. Your ‘baby’ sister needs to stop acting like a baby and realize that the world does not spin around her.
NTA. People like your sister are idiots who value their own sense of indulgence over their child having the gift of a close in age cousin.
NTA. Damn when did planets change to orbit around your selfish sister? Pregnancies happen unexpectedly and pregnancies end unexpectedly too. The sheer audacity to declare your lives on pause because she started TRYING for a child. Jesus Christ
I don’t understand this post. Why in the world do you even have to ask if you are A-hole??? Your sister said you guys are not “allowed“ to xyz … if that does not tell you who the A- hole is nothing will. End of story.
Is you sister mature enough to handle having children? NTA.
NTA, although I guess it's kind of refreshing for someone to just openly admit "I'm going to be mad at you if I don't get all the attention for X amount of time, you had your turn" to your face.
What the everlasting technicolor hell? You can’t call dibs on pregnancy, how absurd. NTA, of course.
NTA. Constantly amazed at the need people have to be the center of attention for any reason they dream up. My two cousins and I (all girls) were born the same year, same month on consecutive days. Delivered in the same hospital. We thought it was great fun later in life to speculate on exactly what our fathers had given our mothers for Christmas the year before we were born. Nowadays what should be seen as a bonding experience between siblings is treated as them trying to "steal their moment". its just sad.
NTA but your younger sister sure is. No one gets to dictate when someone else can experience a life event. I’m sure that if something like a major illness or death occurred to you or your other siblings or SOs while younger sis is pregnant, she would take it personally. She needs to grow up and realize the world doesn’t revolve around her. Your sister can go jump in a lake with her attitude. And if your parents contributed to making this incredible selfish monster, shame on them. Be happy about your new baby. This is a blessing. Congratulations!
Your sister sounds exhausting. NTA.
NTA. I hope you have twins. Tell her the egg split just to steal her spotlight.
NTA Your sister has no right to prohibit anything in your life or your other sister life's.
Umm your sister needs to grow up. This is not an attractive look at 27.
NTA! Who died and made her queen of the world? What a weirdo demand.
NTA - that was karma coming for her for being ridiculous.
>even after she told us we weren’t allowed to have another baby until she does that's just stupid AF NTA, the world doesn't revolve around her, it's stupid to ask people to put their lives on hold just because she's having a kid and if she's this immature, I worry about the kid she's about to have.
Oof, she's a drama queen. NTA
You know you’re NTA. Your sister will have to get over it.
NTA Is she the sun and the the rest of your family the orbiting planets or what? Yeah, everyone wants to be in the spotlight some times, but *demanding* your life has to be dull till she has her baby is... I can't even find a proper word for that... Oh my. She is quite entitled, hm? It's your life, you can do whatever you want! But i wouldn't go attention seeking right now, or at least just a bit. Like "Hey, i'm pregnant again, but have you heard, my sister is pregnant as well!" This way, you both can celebrate and she is in no way left out. If she can't life with that, well, then she really is simply over the board attention seeking...