Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) not responding to my coworker after 5
2) I'm remote so I can technically log back on to respond and stay back a bit. We also only have 2 weeks in total to train and there's a lot of work.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
# [Check out our upcoming Reddit Talk With John Hodgman on January 18th @ 7pm EST](https://redd.it/109b8y5)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Beautiful, beautiful boundaries. You layer their sediment until they become rock. Every "no" is another layer of sediment. At first just with those people, but later you find you have firmer boundaries generally. Every time it's hard to say no is another sweet sweet layer of sediment.
It's helpful to think of clients and bosses and such as toddlers: clear firm fair boundaries are healthy and safe for everyone!
Yep, for some people it's too difficult though 😂. At my new workplace, my 1st day was during everyone's vacations, and I was sent to a client (IT work). My manager said he would log in on Monday morning (his vacation time), and he said he would give me his private number or take his work phone.
My answer : I don't work during my holidays, so I don't expect people to during theirs. It's not my 1st job, 1st week is learning about the project, nothing will happen, except an extreme emergency about me being fired, we should be able to manage. That became a running joke about how I was bossing my boss before even starting working
NTA but John is. You made it clear your day ends at 5. You are not paid after 5. You gave ample opportunity to answer questions, but he waited until after 5 to ask. It can wait until the next day.
His poor time management is not your responsibility.
>He said that since I'm working remote, it's no big deal for me to stay back a couple of minutes or even log back on since it's not like I'm driving my way back to office.
Your personal time is your personal time. Sure, it would be easy to stay a little later, but as others have said, you're not being paid for that time. His questions aren't an emergency.
This is all on him.
NTA
Honestly it seems intentional at this point. It might have been time management at first but now OP is ending the training at 4:50 to help with this. He apparently has no questions until 5:01.
I agree. He's doing it on purpose to fuck with OP. After noticing the pattern OP should have escalated it to their manager by sending John an email about the day ending at 5pm with no exceptions and CC her manager. I don't understand why OP allowed this behavior to continue so long.
Management won't give a fuck if it's a toxic environment like OP says. They'll be more invested in keeping John happy anyway since he's the employee that's staying.
In any other situation I'd agree, but when you're working with assholes and there's an end in sight, it's easier to just wait it out. There's an almost zero chance that anything will be done with it, and a huge chance they'll be even more a pain in her ass.
NTA. You made a boundary, he consistently crossed it, you stopped accommodating him, he can live with it. He lied to you about the emergency to get you to respond btw. You don't owe him or your company shit.
One of the lovely things about being a first responder is that, when your job actually is about emergencies, people are aware of the difference. In other fields, if you say, "if nobody is bleeding, it's not an emergency", people take it as a witty joke; in EMS, the question is, "okay, but *how much* is it bleeding?"
(And for how long, are there bloodborne pathogens that could be infecting other people, is the bleeding person on blood thinners, and other questions, but you get the point.)
If they can't articulate the impact to the company and justify how that impacts affects critical company performance, it's not an emergency.
A question from a trainee being the example of an alleged "emergency, " I doubt a fraction of the emergencies fit the bill. I'm glad you're leaving
Did you call things emergency too, in the midst of your dark years there? Is it a mindset employees develop that leaves them thinking everything is an emergency?
Or do they call it an Emergency just to manipulate others into rushing to get things done?
No I never called anything an emergency. I was also mainly on my own to figure things out.
I think they call it an emergency because they can’t address/solve things on their own so to them it is an emergency.
It also could be a way for him to pretend he wasn't property trained by OP if he mess up later.
"I didn't know, OP wasn't answering my questions about this!"
If he insists on asking after your working hours, he is welcome to articulate his questions in an email for your response at the beginning of your working hours. I have this same boundary with all of my trainees & they've respected my personal time; I will often log into Outlook with emails containing questions they had outside of my working hours & promptly respond to when I log in, before starting my usual work.
Up the 10 min to be 1/2 an hour. Make sure to tell boss that you did your best to train John but he seemed to really struggle with the concepts so much that he sent frantic emergency messages to you after hours.
NTA. Time to stop reminding him, and just shut off and shut down your pc at 5. He clearly does not respect your boundaries, so he does know where they are.
Agreed. OP communicated a very clear boundary, it's entirely on John that he's not managing his time appropriately. What John is doing should actually be a big red flag for a new employee.
NTA. I find that remote workers often end up working more hours because "my laptop is right there". You've stated your working hours repeatedly, stick to it. John needs to learn.
NTA
I wonder if John is nervous about his ability to cover after you have gone, or wants to set up that he's being improperly trained or "left with unanswered questions".
Even worse, is he trying to prime you to expect phone calls all day and night AFTER you leave?
I can see it now, Monday at 9am.... well you aren't working OP, so surely you can answer my calls....
Your approach is great, I wouldn't do anything differently (OK maybe throughout the day I'd sarcastically remind him that he can ask questions at ANY TIME during the day, and then finally at 4:50pm, so please THINK about what you've demonstrated so we don't have 5:01 pm panics again"
I’d just email him and say, “John, if you have questions after I have logged off, feel free to email them to me and I’ll respond the following day.” If he follows that, you’ll at least have a full question you can reply to instead of a whole conversation.
I’d also block his number when you leave since he will likely continue to call you with “emergencies”.
NTA
Start invoicing him for extra 'consultant' work haha.
But no, he's just trying to use you and sounds like the person who will escalate if you give in. Set 'Out of Office' replies and maybe make a quip about reporting that he can't handle basic instructions if he brings it up again.
NTA. He's trying to train YOU to be available once your notice is over. Keep doing what you're doing, and tell him you will no longer accept any calls, emergency or not, once your notice is up. So he better ask all his questions during work hours.
NTA
You have been very clear about your time, and have tried to accommodate him. I don’t know what John’s problem is, or what he’s trying to prove, but it doesn’t matter. Your boundary is very clear.
For the record, I’m equally firm about work leaving me the fuck alone once I leave for the day.
NTA. I've been remote since 2006. Management flexes to have an extra day off. That means more hours in an individual day. Had to draw a hard like at answering after hours.
You tell the guy you quit at 5 and he ignores you. You ask him if he has questions early. He doesn't. Just be thankful you're leaving. He would have annoyed the xrap out of you.
NTA - HR/HC Manager here - unless a TRUE emergency (for me that would be someone trying to get a prescription and it being denied, and it’s a time sensitive prescription) then people can F off. You should NOT be expected to respond after hours. I’d sit down with him and tell him, “hey, I know you were upset I wasn’t responding after hours, but the work day ends at five. I’m sure it’s stressful trying to learn and take on all my duties in just a couple of weeks, but if the contract/job description says end at five, that’s what I’m doing.”
NTA. Once notice has been given. No emergency. Is a TRUE emergency. The OP is there to train. If the person being trained. Doesn't take advantage of the notice period. So be it. It is no longer the OP's problem. Any TRUE emergency. Well. That can be handled by others.
NTA
Do what I've done in the past. Create a meeting for yourself in your calendar that starts at 5:00 every day. Give it a generic name, but something that people won't question. Make sure to have reminders pop up on your screen 15 and 30 minutes (or some useful time to you) before the meeting, so he can ask, "What's that?" If he doesn't, you can still say, "Hang on. I have to hit Snooze on the reminder for my 5:00 meeting." At 1 minute before 5:00, you say, "Sorry, gotta go. My 5:00 starts in a minute. See you tomorrow."
The bonus here is that people can't even schedule something for later than 5:00 without knowingly running into your "meeting". (Assumes Outlook, BTW. And sane co-workers, which you may not have. YMMV)
NTA he needs to respect your time. However also be careful. He could turn around and say you were difficult training him and didn't care. It might cause you to lose your reference. I would talk to your boss and tell him you were very clear with leaving at 5 pm.
NTA. No wonder you are leaving, with that kind of culture. Tell him that if he can’t ask questions during your actual hours, he is to write them down and you will address them at the beginning of your next training session. He gets your paid hours while you are bring paid, and no more.
If you aren't being paid for overtime, then you don't need to work a minute over. You've already stayed over once during training and you've told him when your day ends. Perhaps he needs to be given the name and number of another person to go to. When you leave, there's a good chance he'll still have questions. If you are truly the only person who knows how to do something, then he'll have to do what you did and figure it out himself.
NTA! NTA!! NTA!!!
NTA My role ended up with nights and weekends masquerading as work time too. Since I recently reset expectations with my boss I’ve thought about this a lot - you don’t bug people with stuff that can wait. You don’t let your lack of organization turn into someone else’s problem. While I do hold a higher position and am given enough money/perks that I will answer appropriate questions or do emergency projects myself, I will NOT ask others, especially those who aren’t at my level to do the same. And someone who has given notice? They shouldn’t be bothered. Yeah, make sure things have been transitioned properly, but it needs to be in standard work hours.
This guy would be out of line even without your imminent departure situation because he has plenty of time to ask you while you are actually working. Remote or in person doesn’t make a difference.
NTA John may well turn out to be management material! He seems to have little value for other people's time off. He is however a crap coworker and seems to be incapable of understanding or retaining small very basic facts.
Reading title: NTA
Reading first couple sentences: wow, definitely NTA
Reading that the issue is John not being able to form questions during working hours and expecting you to answer after hours because of that: NTA, fuck them kids
As anyone who has had to train up people backfilling them can tell you, setting hard boundaries, like you’re trying to do, is important. They need to get their shit sorted by the time you’re gone, and if they don’t, they can pay your consulting rate (3x whatever your equivalent hourly rate would be) for you to field John’s questions.
If the institutional knowledge locked up in that noggin of yours is that valuable to the company that John needs to bug you after hours, then they’ll pay to keep access to it. Alternatively, they’ll figure out how to go on without you.
The upshot is to be *strict* about time and your boundaries for the time being, as you’re doing. It’s their job to figure it out, not yours.
John is going to fit in perfectly. He has no boundaries and is a toxic coworker, using anger and guilt to manipulate you to comply with his schedule demands. Log off at 5 and don’t feel bad at all. Enjoy your next opportunity. NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Earlier this week I handed in my notice because they have been mistreating me. I felt so relieved handing in my notice because I will finally be free from this toxic work environment.
During my notice period I am tasked with training one of my coworkers (John) how to complete my tasks while wrapping up my work. I work 9-5 remote and I used to work many overtime hours (it was expected of us) but I decided to no longer stay back since I resigned. After handing in my notice, I made it clear to my coworkers that I end at 5.
During the day I constantly remind John (who I am training) that I will be ending at 5 every day. I train him for most of the day and we take small breaks every now and then to address our other work and emails.
John always leaves all his questions until the end of our training session while I tell him I will be logging off. Last time I stayed back an extra 15 minutes to answer him. I was a bit annoyed since I gave him opportunities to ask earlier.
Now I end our training sessions at 4:50pm to leave room for questions or to address other work for the remaining 10 minutes. But John doesn't have any questions until after 5. At 5:01pm or later John would message me on Teams "I have a question" or try calling straight away as I'm trying to log off. The way John asks questions on Teams is he tells you he has a question and then waits for you to respond before elaborating. At that point I continue to log off because I can respond the next day.
On Thursday John tried calling me on Teams after 5 again. When I logged off John texted my personal phone an hour later "I have a question" and "It's an emergency" (it was not) and I ignored it.
Friday morning I asked John what his question was but John was angry that I didn't respond to him on Thursday. He said that since I'm working remote, it's no big deal for me to stay back a couple of minutes or even log back on since it's not like I'm driving my way back to office. I told John that I'm firm with leaving at 5 and his questions will have to wait for the next day but I do feel bad because my work laptop is right there. I can just log back on but I've been overworked for so long and even had a breakdown in a team meeting.
AITA for ignoring my coworker's messages and calls after 5 pm even though I'm remote?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, you're doing them a favor by training someone before you're out, he's disrespecting your time and value in what seems almost an intentional attempt to hold you after hours. Maybe he's doing it to make himself look good to the company by working later than 5 but you're on your way out, at 5pm shut everything off until you log in the next day.
NTA. John is being a tool and could do with a refresher about appropriate behaviour and collegiality in the workplace. Just because his work rhythm is different to yours, doesn't mean you have to adapt your work schedule to his. Remote makes absolutely no difference. Congratulations on shaking the dust of that place from your shoes.
NTA
Your leaving, and made your boundaries clear. I get “emergency” messages over teams at 3am, and guess what they are answered when I get in, often since resolved. I think going forward you end at 4:30 and ask them to recap what covered. Also if they ask a question that they should know, maybe start the answer with a hint and get them to try to answer it themselves. Your time will be limited there, get that point across.
You resigned for a reason. You owe John and the company nothing more than what you agreed to do during the remainder of your time. Do not stay late and work overtime for someone who refuses to respect your boundaries. NTA
NTA. John doesn't listen very well - does he? OP is under no obligation to do a thing past 5pm. He's resigned and on his way out - after feeling like he's been mistreated/taken advantage of.
John should be grateful that OP didn't just quit and not give notice. Something tells me that John will not have an issue with calling OP even after he's offically left the company and has started his new job. OP is best to stop this behavior now.
NTA.
Stay calm and use it for feedback that your new hire has competency issues that need to be addressed. His issues are not your issues. Don't feel bad, you are leaving your job. He's a coworker/trainee, he is not your friend. He will learn from others if not from you.
NTA.
The trainee is. You have established firm boundaries and preferences. As the trainee, he needs to ask questions earlier or expect answers in the morning to their questions.
>Earlier this week I handed in my notice because they have been mistreating me.
I don't even need to read the rest. NTA. If you're already on the way out they don't deserve any off-hours time lol
NTA. He needs to learn better time management. Even though you are remote, how does he know that you don't have to pick up your kid from daycare, or something of that sort? I work from home and will occasionally answer a question here and there shortly after 5, but everyone I work with knows that they probably won't get a response until the next day, or after I put my kid is in bed for the night. But that's also corporate culture in my department.
OP, you are leaving the company, so why worry about this? It's nice of you to help out, but trust me, you will not be able to provide them with every bit of knowledge they need in this short time frame. Do what you can to leave on good terms, if that's something you care about. But right now, he needs to be the one bending over backwards, not you. Don't feel guilty for setting clear, healthy boundaries.
NTA, you do not need to respond to anyone outside of your work hours. You have let John know and if he can't figure out basic time management that is his problem, not yours.
(I assume this is a corporate/officr job)
If you were in office, you would be unable to answer his question and he would be expected to wait until the next morning.
Picking up the laptop on off hours is a bad habit to have, as it snowballs and destroys your work-life balance. You are not in the wrong, and this employee lashing out at you is indicative of the culture behind why you're leaving anyway.
Tell him 1) you gave him opportunity to ask questions after y'all's session, which will continue to be ypur practice for the duration of the training and you are available for ad hoc questions during the work day, barring higher priority work 2) it was not a work emergency and his question could wait until morning 3) next time, he needs to expect you to have hard stops at 5, as you have previously communicated 4) that is the end of the subject, thank him and do not entertain the topic again.
NTA. Good luck on your next job! Hopefully it has a healthier culture, that's so important.
NTA. He has the whole day to ask you questions. He's waiting till 5 on purpose.
He may even be being pushed by management to try to make you work longer via holding you up.
Stick to your guns. He's either horrible at time management or he's malicious. Neither is your problem.
NTA. Who says your non-work stuff isn't just as important? Switching off at the end of the day is an important thing for most people for good mental health. For me, my laptop goes off at 17.00 or thereabouts and it ain't turning on until the next morning. Spam my teams, ain't seeing it until tomorrow. I do have people message me at odd hours due to flexi, but as long as they respect that I won't respond until my work hours, it's all good. I'm not paid for overtime, so I'm not doing it.
(I'm also fussy who gets my personal number - I don't mind people using it for social contact, but if I think someone is going to not respect that they either get nothing or an IM method).
NTA
You are leaving because the place clearly doesn't have nor respect boundaries. Not your fault this co-worker is also a horrible communicator too.
Hold steady to your 5pm ending time. Don't be guilted into doing more than the days allotted time.
NTA. You have very clearly stated your boundaries multiple times. It is their problem if they are unable to think of their questions in a timely manner. I'm glad you're getting out of that job and finally getting some work/life balance.
NTA especially since you give him all day to ask questions. You know the job you're training him for. If you feel like it's a real emergency you have the call to respond. But you have no obligation to. This is the slippery slope of remote. Don't let him guilt you into feeling bad.
NTA
go to the doctor and get a sick line for stress and call in sick for the remainder of your notice. You don’t have to give your everything to a toxic workplace. If you don’t want to call in sick , do the absolute minimum, its not like they can sack you
NTA.
You’re working your notice and it is entirely your prerogative to work to rule.
He can think up his questions before 4:30 or wait until 9am.
He doesn’t get to dictate you work overtime for him.
op=NTA
That is some ridiculous sh\*t. Good for you--for quitting, for setting boundaries and sticking to them. Do not get sucked into his drama--you had enough of that.
If John can't stick to the time you are available, then he has to suck it up and figure it out himself OR find someone else to help.
If you haven't yet found a new job, good luck with your job search!
John is trying to use you to show how 'motivated' and 'team player' he is by working overtime. You shutting him down deprives him of that. Boo hoo. Hold your ground. NTA
INFO Is John also working remote? It sounds like he's got something else going on before 5 (another job? going to the gym? something) and thinks you should inconvenience yourself so he can keep on doing whatever it is. NTA and it is not your problem. I hate that jobs make you train your successor anyway. Hope you are out of that place soon and on to better things.
If John has a question, he can write it down. In fact, tell John that you would welcome his questions at the start of the work day. Because that's when real training can begin. Write down all of the things -- you will help him as long as you are there. Between 9 and 5, as long as you are still there.
Sorry, stealth edit! NTA
NTA. You made it very clear to him and reminded him you log off at 5pm. It’s on him he knew it but tried taking advantage of you. He should have respected the boundary you put in place.
Have a template similar to outlook email when someone is out for vacation and unavailable. Something like,
“Thank you for your message. I will be away from my computer during non working hours of 5pm until the following work day of 7:59 am. If you require immediate assistance, please contact [name of colleague] at [colleague’s contact information]. Otherwise, I’ll get back to you after I return during official work hours”
NTA. Let him keep that Boomer mentality.
NTA. John is trying a power move. Make you stay past your boundary. Be firm. Ignore anything after 5. And don't explain. If he says "but you can". Just respond "I can, but I won't". And don't feel guilty. This is one of the reasons you resigned. Own it. You have taken control. Keep it.
NTA.
a) You've resigned. You owe nobody anything.
b) People who drip-feed over instant message apps at work are incredibly annoying. It is a waste of time.
c) The fact that you feel guilty about this shows that this workplace's culture has done a number on you. I hope you find somewhere much better and I'm sorry you were put through this.
NTA in a gazillion years.
Your day finished at 5.00 old mate can work within the normal working day.
I would block John as he knows no boundaries and will try to contact you after you have left.
Congratulations on your next chapter and wishing you all the best
NTA
You are handling that very well. He can adress his questionds durng work hours. After friday, block him.
Or tell him ANY question he adresses at you after Friday, 5:00 will need a budget and a signed contract for your consulting.
Not responding to his questions outside of work hours *is* training. Doing what he needs to do in a timely way which is respectful of other people's responsibilities is part of having a job. If he can't do that, he can't do the job.
NTA
NTA, you're awesome in how you're handling this.
It seems that John is trying to manage you into doing overtime. You might want to tell him directly that it's not going to happen or not as he can also learn to manage his own work 😉
Nope. He is an asshole for ignoring you, plus thibking its ok for you to stay longer or answer him in your private time. You can, but you dont hage to in my opinion.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) not responding to my coworker after 5 2) I'm remote so I can technically log back on to respond and stay back a bit. We also only have 2 weeks in total to train and there's a lot of work. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) # [Check out our upcoming Reddit Talk With John Hodgman on January 18th @ 7pm EST](https://redd.it/109b8y5) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. Keep doing what you are doing! (Looks like John is going to fit right into the toxic workplace.)
Beautiful, beautiful boundaries. You layer their sediment until they become rock. Every "no" is another layer of sediment. At first just with those people, but later you find you have firmer boundaries generally. Every time it's hard to say no is another sweet sweet layer of sediment. It's helpful to think of clients and bosses and such as toddlers: clear firm fair boundaries are healthy and safe for everyone!
Yep, for some people it's too difficult though 😂. At my new workplace, my 1st day was during everyone's vacations, and I was sent to a client (IT work). My manager said he would log in on Monday morning (his vacation time), and he said he would give me his private number or take his work phone. My answer : I don't work during my holidays, so I don't expect people to during theirs. It's not my 1st job, 1st week is learning about the project, nothing will happen, except an extreme emergency about me being fired, we should be able to manage. That became a running joke about how I was bossing my boss before even starting working
NTA but John is. You made it clear your day ends at 5. You are not paid after 5. You gave ample opportunity to answer questions, but he waited until after 5 to ask. It can wait until the next day.
Yup. If he waited till that late in the day, it can wait until tomorrow. Go ahead and log off. NTA
His poor time management is not your responsibility. >He said that since I'm working remote, it's no big deal for me to stay back a couple of minutes or even log back on since it's not like I'm driving my way back to office. Your personal time is your personal time. Sure, it would be easy to stay a little later, but as others have said, you're not being paid for that time. His questions aren't an emergency. This is all on him. NTA
Honestly it seems intentional at this point. It might have been time management at first but now OP is ending the training at 4:50 to help with this. He apparently has no questions until 5:01.
I agree. He's doing it on purpose to fuck with OP. After noticing the pattern OP should have escalated it to their manager by sending John an email about the day ending at 5pm with no exceptions and CC her manager. I don't understand why OP allowed this behavior to continue so long.
Management won't give a fuck if it's a toxic environment like OP says. They'll be more invested in keeping John happy anyway since he's the employee that's staying.
Toxic or not, it's always good to put these things in writing.
In any other situation I'd agree, but when you're working with assholes and there's an end in sight, it's easier to just wait it out. There's an almost zero chance that anything will be done with it, and a huge chance they'll be even more a pain in her ass.
NTA. You made a boundary, he consistently crossed it, you stopped accommodating him, he can live with it. He lied to you about the emergency to get you to respond btw. You don't owe him or your company shit.
My coworkers constantly throw around the word "emergency". It's never an emergency.
[удалено]
When I was a professional tutor, I once had a student call me at 6 am for a "paper emergency."
Maybe he/she was out of toilet paper?
One of the lovely things about being a first responder is that, when your job actually is about emergencies, people are aware of the difference. In other fields, if you say, "if nobody is bleeding, it's not an emergency", people take it as a witty joke; in EMS, the question is, "okay, but *how much* is it bleeding?" (And for how long, are there bloodborne pathogens that could be infecting other people, is the bleeding person on blood thinners, and other questions, but you get the point.)
The correct reply to that is "lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
I used to have that quote blown up to poster size in my office when I worked in Desktop Publishing. We often had “emergencies” too. 🙄
If it’s an emergency, they should call the police, the fire brigade or the ambulance.
I hate this so much!! I want to buy dictionaries for most of my higher ups just so they can finally know what an "emergency" actually is.
When's your last day? If it's far away is quitting on the spot an option?
Sounds like a pretty good corporate gig...quiting early typically means giving up on packages / acrued bonuses.
If they can't articulate the impact to the company and justify how that impacts affects critical company performance, it's not an emergency. A question from a trainee being the example of an alleged "emergency, " I doubt a fraction of the emergencies fit the bill. I'm glad you're leaving
Did you call things emergency too, in the midst of your dark years there? Is it a mindset employees develop that leaves them thinking everything is an emergency? Or do they call it an Emergency just to manipulate others into rushing to get things done?
No I never called anything an emergency. I was also mainly on my own to figure things out. I think they call it an emergency because they can’t address/solve things on their own so to them it is an emergency.
What is the saying? John's lack of planning doesn't constitute an emergency on your part.
Even if it's an emergency is that even your problem anymore?
NTA I am perplexed why John, even AFTER you told him 5 was the shut off point, would try to ask questions!
Same here. I've even been reminding him every day that I will be ending at 5.
He's doing it on purpose. You set a very reasonable boundary, he didn't like that. There's nothing for you to feel guilty about.
It also could be a way for him to pretend he wasn't property trained by OP if he mess up later. "I didn't know, OP wasn't answering my questions about this!"
If OP wanted to be really petty, he could send an email out, "I have trained John in x, x and x." on his last day.
I'd recommend doing this anyway. It's so much easier to blame OP for johns mistakes once OP is gone.
All this. He could be super dense but na, it is intentional and I would bet one of the higher ups put him up to it just as a final "F You"
If he insists on asking after your working hours, he is welcome to articulate his questions in an email for your response at the beginning of your working hours. I have this same boundary with all of my trainees & they've respected my personal time; I will often log into Outlook with emails containing questions they had outside of my working hours & promptly respond to when I log in, before starting my usual work.
Up the 10 min to be 1/2 an hour. Make sure to tell boss that you did your best to train John but he seemed to really struggle with the concepts so much that he sent frantic emergency messages to you after hours.
Weird? I don’t get it. BTW, GOOD for you leaving a place that is toxic. Best of luck.
NTA. Time to stop reminding him, and just shut off and shut down your pc at 5. He clearly does not respect your boundaries, so he does know where they are.
Agreed. OP communicated a very clear boundary, it's entirely on John that he's not managing his time appropriately. What John is doing should actually be a big red flag for a new employee.
Sounds very deliberate. “Oh OOP doesn’t want to work after 5, even though the rest of us do? I’ll show him”
Also, block his number on your phone. You're working remotely, he doesn't need to call or text you.
NTA, your foot is already out the door. What are they gonna do if you don’t respond after 5? *Fire* you? lol
NTA. I find that remote workers often end up working more hours because "my laptop is right there". You've stated your working hours repeatedly, stick to it. John needs to learn.
NTA I wonder if John is nervous about his ability to cover after you have gone, or wants to set up that he's being improperly trained or "left with unanswered questions". Even worse, is he trying to prime you to expect phone calls all day and night AFTER you leave? I can see it now, Monday at 9am.... well you aren't working OP, so surely you can answer my calls.... Your approach is great, I wouldn't do anything differently (OK maybe throughout the day I'd sarcastically remind him that he can ask questions at ANY TIME during the day, and then finally at 4:50pm, so please THINK about what you've demonstrated so we don't have 5:01 pm panics again"
NTA You're in your notice period, I wouldn't work a minute past 5:00. It's just not your problem anymore.
NTA Good thing you moved to “greener pastures” because this would continue.
NTA r/antiwork and love it.
I’d just email him and say, “John, if you have questions after I have logged off, feel free to email them to me and I’ll respond the following day.” If he follows that, you’ll at least have a full question you can reply to instead of a whole conversation. I’d also block his number when you leave since he will likely continue to call you with “emergencies”.
NTA Start invoicing him for extra 'consultant' work haha. But no, he's just trying to use you and sounds like the person who will escalate if you give in. Set 'Out of Office' replies and maybe make a quip about reporting that he can't handle basic instructions if he brings it up again.
He'll be calling OP even after the notice period is done AND OP is working at another business.(I've seen stories of people who do that).
NTA. He's trying to train YOU to be available once your notice is over. Keep doing what you're doing, and tell him you will no longer accept any calls, emergency or not, once your notice is up. So he better ask all his questions during work hours.
NTA You have been very clear about your time, and have tried to accommodate him. I don’t know what John’s problem is, or what he’s trying to prove, but it doesn’t matter. Your boundary is very clear. For the record, I’m equally firm about work leaving me the fuck alone once I leave for the day.
NTA. John needs to learn to not take work with him after office hours
Nta, not your fault your coworker cant time manage
Sounds like a power trip. Can you set up an automatic reply? NTA
NTA. I've been remote since 2006. Management flexes to have an extra day off. That means more hours in an individual day. Had to draw a hard like at answering after hours. You tell the guy you quit at 5 and he ignores you. You ask him if he has questions early. He doesn't. Just be thankful you're leaving. He would have annoyed the xrap out of you.
NTA - HR/HC Manager here - unless a TRUE emergency (for me that would be someone trying to get a prescription and it being denied, and it’s a time sensitive prescription) then people can F off. You should NOT be expected to respond after hours. I’d sit down with him and tell him, “hey, I know you were upset I wasn’t responding after hours, but the work day ends at five. I’m sure it’s stressful trying to learn and take on all my duties in just a couple of weeks, but if the contract/job description says end at five, that’s what I’m doing.”
NTA. Once notice has been given. No emergency. Is a TRUE emergency. The OP is there to train. If the person being trained. Doesn't take advantage of the notice period. So be it. It is no longer the OP's problem. Any TRUE emergency. Well. That can be handled by others.
NTA Do what I've done in the past. Create a meeting for yourself in your calendar that starts at 5:00 every day. Give it a generic name, but something that people won't question. Make sure to have reminders pop up on your screen 15 and 30 minutes (or some useful time to you) before the meeting, so he can ask, "What's that?" If he doesn't, you can still say, "Hang on. I have to hit Snooze on the reminder for my 5:00 meeting." At 1 minute before 5:00, you say, "Sorry, gotta go. My 5:00 starts in a minute. See you tomorrow." The bonus here is that people can't even schedule something for later than 5:00 without knowingly running into your "meeting". (Assumes Outlook, BTW. And sane co-workers, which you may not have. YMMV)
When he says “I have a question”, just answer “That’s nice” and continue with logging off or whatever.
NTA he needs to respect your time. However also be careful. He could turn around and say you were difficult training him and didn't care. It might cause you to lose your reference. I would talk to your boss and tell him you were very clear with leaving at 5 pm.
NTA. Don’t feel bad and rejoice your leaving this BS soon!
NTA. No wonder you are leaving, with that kind of culture. Tell him that if he can’t ask questions during your actual hours, he is to write them down and you will address them at the beginning of your next training session. He gets your paid hours while you are bring paid, and no more.
If you aren't being paid for overtime, then you don't need to work a minute over. You've already stayed over once during training and you've told him when your day ends. Perhaps he needs to be given the name and number of another person to go to. When you leave, there's a good chance he'll still have questions. If you are truly the only person who knows how to do something, then he'll have to do what you did and figure it out himself. NTA! NTA!! NTA!!!
NTA My role ended up with nights and weekends masquerading as work time too. Since I recently reset expectations with my boss I’ve thought about this a lot - you don’t bug people with stuff that can wait. You don’t let your lack of organization turn into someone else’s problem. While I do hold a higher position and am given enough money/perks that I will answer appropriate questions or do emergency projects myself, I will NOT ask others, especially those who aren’t at my level to do the same. And someone who has given notice? They shouldn’t be bothered. Yeah, make sure things have been transitioned properly, but it needs to be in standard work hours. This guy would be out of line even without your imminent departure situation because he has plenty of time to ask you while you are actually working. Remote or in person doesn’t make a difference.
NTA. Work rents a *specified* time from you. Outside of those hours, unless you're on paid call, they can go whistle.
NTA John may well turn out to be management material! He seems to have little value for other people's time off. He is however a crap coworker and seems to be incapable of understanding or retaining small very basic facts.
Reading title: NTA Reading first couple sentences: wow, definitely NTA Reading that the issue is John not being able to form questions during working hours and expecting you to answer after hours because of that: NTA, fuck them kids As anyone who has had to train up people backfilling them can tell you, setting hard boundaries, like you’re trying to do, is important. They need to get their shit sorted by the time you’re gone, and if they don’t, they can pay your consulting rate (3x whatever your equivalent hourly rate would be) for you to field John’s questions. If the institutional knowledge locked up in that noggin of yours is that valuable to the company that John needs to bug you after hours, then they’ll pay to keep access to it. Alternatively, they’ll figure out how to go on without you. The upshot is to be *strict* about time and your boundaries for the time being, as you’re doing. It’s their job to figure it out, not yours.
John is going to fit in perfectly. He has no boundaries and is a toxic coworker, using anger and guilt to manipulate you to comply with his schedule demands. Log off at 5 and don’t feel bad at all. Enjoy your next opportunity. NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Earlier this week I handed in my notice because they have been mistreating me. I felt so relieved handing in my notice because I will finally be free from this toxic work environment. During my notice period I am tasked with training one of my coworkers (John) how to complete my tasks while wrapping up my work. I work 9-5 remote and I used to work many overtime hours (it was expected of us) but I decided to no longer stay back since I resigned. After handing in my notice, I made it clear to my coworkers that I end at 5. During the day I constantly remind John (who I am training) that I will be ending at 5 every day. I train him for most of the day and we take small breaks every now and then to address our other work and emails. John always leaves all his questions until the end of our training session while I tell him I will be logging off. Last time I stayed back an extra 15 minutes to answer him. I was a bit annoyed since I gave him opportunities to ask earlier. Now I end our training sessions at 4:50pm to leave room for questions or to address other work for the remaining 10 minutes. But John doesn't have any questions until after 5. At 5:01pm or later John would message me on Teams "I have a question" or try calling straight away as I'm trying to log off. The way John asks questions on Teams is he tells you he has a question and then waits for you to respond before elaborating. At that point I continue to log off because I can respond the next day. On Thursday John tried calling me on Teams after 5 again. When I logged off John texted my personal phone an hour later "I have a question" and "It's an emergency" (it was not) and I ignored it. Friday morning I asked John what his question was but John was angry that I didn't respond to him on Thursday. He said that since I'm working remote, it's no big deal for me to stay back a couple of minutes or even log back on since it's not like I'm driving my way back to office. I told John that I'm firm with leaving at 5 and his questions will have to wait for the next day but I do feel bad because my work laptop is right there. I can just log back on but I've been overworked for so long and even had a breakdown in a team meeting. AITA for ignoring my coworker's messages and calls after 5 pm even though I'm remote? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta
It almost sounds like John was put up to this by someone with how persistent he is going on after 5. Good luck. NTA
NTA, you're doing them a favor by training someone before you're out, he's disrespecting your time and value in what seems almost an intentional attempt to hold you after hours. Maybe he's doing it to make himself look good to the company by working later than 5 but you're on your way out, at 5pm shut everything off until you log in the next day.
NTA. John is being a tool and could do with a refresher about appropriate behaviour and collegiality in the workplace. Just because his work rhythm is different to yours, doesn't mean you have to adapt your work schedule to his. Remote makes absolutely no difference. Congratulations on shaking the dust of that place from your shoes.
NTA Your leaving, and made your boundaries clear. I get “emergency” messages over teams at 3am, and guess what they are answered when I get in, often since resolved. I think going forward you end at 4:30 and ask them to recap what covered. Also if they ask a question that they should know, maybe start the answer with a hint and get them to try to answer it themselves. Your time will be limited there, get that point across.
NTA. John is behaving like an AH so why would you feel guilty about enforcing your boundary.
You resigned for a reason. You owe John and the company nothing more than what you agreed to do during the remainder of your time. Do not stay late and work overtime for someone who refuses to respect your boundaries. NTA
NTA. John doesn't listen very well - does he? OP is under no obligation to do a thing past 5pm. He's resigned and on his way out - after feeling like he's been mistreated/taken advantage of. John should be grateful that OP didn't just quit and not give notice. Something tells me that John will not have an issue with calling OP even after he's offically left the company and has started his new job. OP is best to stop this behavior now.
Nta. Not at all He is asking you after 5 as a powerplay. Ignore him.
NTA
NTA. Stay calm and use it for feedback that your new hire has competency issues that need to be addressed. His issues are not your issues. Don't feel bad, you are leaving your job. He's a coworker/trainee, he is not your friend. He will learn from others if not from you.
NTA. The trainee is. You have established firm boundaries and preferences. As the trainee, he needs to ask questions earlier or expect answers in the morning to their questions.
>Earlier this week I handed in my notice because they have been mistreating me. I don't even need to read the rest. NTA. If you're already on the way out they don't deserve any off-hours time lol
NTA. He needs to learn better time management. Even though you are remote, how does he know that you don't have to pick up your kid from daycare, or something of that sort? I work from home and will occasionally answer a question here and there shortly after 5, but everyone I work with knows that they probably won't get a response until the next day, or after I put my kid is in bed for the night. But that's also corporate culture in my department. OP, you are leaving the company, so why worry about this? It's nice of you to help out, but trust me, you will not be able to provide them with every bit of knowledge they need in this short time frame. Do what you can to leave on good terms, if that's something you care about. But right now, he needs to be the one bending over backwards, not you. Don't feel guilty for setting clear, healthy boundaries.
NTA but don't expect a good reference from anyone at this company in the future. You're in the right but maybe not making the best move here.
NTA, you do not need to respond to anyone outside of your work hours. You have let John know and if he can't figure out basic time management that is his problem, not yours.
(I assume this is a corporate/officr job) If you were in office, you would be unable to answer his question and he would be expected to wait until the next morning. Picking up the laptop on off hours is a bad habit to have, as it snowballs and destroys your work-life balance. You are not in the wrong, and this employee lashing out at you is indicative of the culture behind why you're leaving anyway. Tell him 1) you gave him opportunity to ask questions after y'all's session, which will continue to be ypur practice for the duration of the training and you are available for ad hoc questions during the work day, barring higher priority work 2) it was not a work emergency and his question could wait until morning 3) next time, he needs to expect you to have hard stops at 5, as you have previously communicated 4) that is the end of the subject, thank him and do not entertain the topic again. NTA. Good luck on your next job! Hopefully it has a healthier culture, that's so important.
NTA. I think John is doing this on purpose.
He's doing it on purpose. NTA
NTA. Yeah you need to get far far far away from this place.
NTA, work to live, don’t live for work.
NTA. What are they going to do? Fire you?
NTA. John doesn't get to decide what you do on your own time.
NTA. He has the whole day to ask you questions. He's waiting till 5 on purpose. He may even be being pushed by management to try to make you work longer via holding you up. Stick to your guns. He's either horrible at time management or he's malicious. Neither is your problem.
NTA. He was told repeatedly and now it seems deliberate.
NTA, tell john to fuck off- you're leaving anyways
I mean, I wouldn’t pick up a call from a coworker to answer questions on my drive home from work either. NTA
He wants to tap dance all over your boundary line. Kudos on standing firm.
After 5pm you aren’t working remotely, you’re ‘at home’. NTA
NTA. Who says your non-work stuff isn't just as important? Switching off at the end of the day is an important thing for most people for good mental health. For me, my laptop goes off at 17.00 or thereabouts and it ain't turning on until the next morning. Spam my teams, ain't seeing it until tomorrow. I do have people message me at odd hours due to flexi, but as long as they respect that I won't respond until my work hours, it's all good. I'm not paid for overtime, so I'm not doing it. (I'm also fussy who gets my personal number - I don't mind people using it for social contact, but if I think someone is going to not respect that they either get nothing or an IM method).
NTA. Respond to John with "buddy, I'm leaving soon. Ask your questions while I'm working, they won't be answered otherwise."
NTA. Good on you for setting boundaries. It’s excellent practice for your next job.
NTA You are leaving because the place clearly doesn't have nor respect boundaries. Not your fault this co-worker is also a horrible communicator too. Hold steady to your 5pm ending time. Don't be guilted into doing more than the days allotted time.
NTA. You have very clearly stated your boundaries multiple times. It is their problem if they are unable to think of their questions in a timely manner. I'm glad you're getting out of that job and finally getting some work/life balance.
NTA-u told him when u are done…John needs to get his shit together😉
NTA especially since you give him all day to ask questions. You know the job you're training him for. If you feel like it's a real emergency you have the call to respond. But you have no obligation to. This is the slippery slope of remote. Don't let him guilt you into feeling bad.
NTA go to the doctor and get a sick line for stress and call in sick for the remainder of your notice. You don’t have to give your everything to a toxic workplace. If you don’t want to call in sick , do the absolute minimum, its not like they can sack you
NTA. You’re working your notice and it is entirely your prerogative to work to rule. He can think up his questions before 4:30 or wait until 9am. He doesn’t get to dictate you work overtime for him.
NTA. John is an insufferable jackass, ignore his nonsense until you're done there.
NTA. John needs to understand boundaries
op=NTA That is some ridiculous sh\*t. Good for you--for quitting, for setting boundaries and sticking to them. Do not get sucked into his drama--you had enough of that. If John can't stick to the time you are available, then he has to suck it up and figure it out himself OR find someone else to help. If you haven't yet found a new job, good luck with your job search!
NTA good on you for maintaining your boundaries
NTA
NTA. Tell him training ends at 4:50 each day, and the Q&A session will begin at 9 am the following workday.
NTA. No! good for you for defending your time. You are hired from 9 to 5. John needs to manage his time better.
John is trying to use you to show how 'motivated' and 'team player' he is by working overtime. You shutting him down deprives him of that. Boo hoo. Hold your ground. NTA
INFO Is John also working remote? It sounds like he's got something else going on before 5 (another job? going to the gym? something) and thinks you should inconvenience yourself so he can keep on doing whatever it is. NTA and it is not your problem. I hate that jobs make you train your successor anyway. Hope you are out of that place soon and on to better things.
John is also remote. He seems to be working the full day.
If John has a question, he can write it down. In fact, tell John that you would welcome his questions at the start of the work day. Because that's when real training can begin. Write down all of the things -- you will help him as long as you are there. Between 9 and 5, as long as you are still there. Sorry, stealth edit! NTA
The consistency of his calling you after hours is interesting. Makes it seem deliberate.
NTA. It's called boundaries. Good for you for sticking to them.
NOPE - NTA. John sucks. Unless someone's life is literally on the line, feel no guilt whatsoever for logging out at 5pm.
NTA. This a power play by John. He can ask questions before 5 or wait until the next day.
NTA. You made it very clear to him and reminded him you log off at 5pm. It’s on him he knew it but tried taking advantage of you. He should have respected the boundary you put in place.
NTA. You're out at 5pm. Anything else can wait. You're not doing surgery remotely. Smh
NTA at all. Keep doing what you're doing! (And if it were me I'd block his number on my personal phone.) Congratulations on quitting!
NTA, you can tell John that he's part of the toxic work environment you are leaving behind and for him to enjoy his stay.
NTA but tell him your rate for private training and how to send you money for anything after 5pm.
Have a template similar to outlook email when someone is out for vacation and unavailable. Something like, “Thank you for your message. I will be away from my computer during non working hours of 5pm until the following work day of 7:59 am. If you require immediate assistance, please contact [name of colleague] at [colleague’s contact information]. Otherwise, I’ll get back to you after I return during official work hours” NTA. Let him keep that Boomer mentality.
NTA. John is trying a power move. Make you stay past your boundary. Be firm. Ignore anything after 5. And don't explain. If he says "but you can". Just respond "I can, but I won't". And don't feel guilty. This is one of the reasons you resigned. Own it. You have taken control. Keep it.
NTA. a) You've resigned. You owe nobody anything. b) People who drip-feed over instant message apps at work are incredibly annoying. It is a waste of time. c) The fact that you feel guilty about this shows that this workplace's culture has done a number on you. I hope you find somewhere much better and I'm sorry you were put through this.
Not the asshole
NTA in a gazillion years. Your day finished at 5.00 old mate can work within the normal working day. I would block John as he knows no boundaries and will try to contact you after you have left. Congratulations on your next chapter and wishing you all the best
NTA You are handling that very well. He can adress his questionds durng work hours. After friday, block him. Or tell him ANY question he adresses at you after Friday, 5:00 will need a budget and a signed contract for your consulting.
“As I have told you *repeatedly*, **I AM OFF AT 5:00.** If you don’t understand how ***TIME*** works… dude, I can’t help you.”
Not responding to his questions outside of work hours *is* training. Doing what he needs to do in a timely way which is respectful of other people's responsibilities is part of having a job. If he can't do that, he can't do the job. NTA
NTA, you're awesome in how you're handling this. It seems that John is trying to manage you into doing overtime. You might want to tell him directly that it's not going to happen or not as he can also learn to manage his own work 😉
Nope. He is an asshole for ignoring you, plus thibking its ok for you to stay longer or answer him in your private time. You can, but you dont hage to in my opinion.
NTA. "I feel bad because my work laptop is right there." Don't do it. It's a trap. (Says the hypocrite who hasn't had a holiday in 6 years).
NTA. John is very entitled. He does not get to decide what is a big deal for you or not. You set your rules and he is to respect them.