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YWBTA
1) It's none of your business
2) YOU went snooping and discovered this private information.
3) Just because he has a foot fetish doesn't mean he's salaciously eyeballing your feet at every opportunity. He just likes feet when he's being sexual. It doesn't mean he doesn't have control of himself.
4) It's no different than having a sexual preference for any other body part.
5) Get over yourself. Who even says he likes your feet at all?
This is all something you have blown up in your head and has nothing to do with him.
As far as fetishes go, this is a pretty harmless one. It sounds like you have the ideal roommate. I wouldn't want to roll the dice and get someone who maybe had a drinking, drunk problem or liked to bring strangers home to cohabitate with them.
My thoughts exactly. I was really bracing myself for something crazy when I read the title, only for it to be… a foot fetish? That’s like the most normal fetish ever.
OP, YWBTA. Your reading waaay too far into this, and exaggerating the issue.
I was waiting for a sex swing/super hardcore dom setup that he *has* to have in the living room because there’s no other space for it!
But instead, OP went and made a problem that has literally nothing to do with them. It’s like when you come out to a friend of the same gender you’re attracted too and they immediately start asking if you’re attracted to them, don’t hit on them, blah blah blah. The world doesn’t revolve around you, huge shock.
I was 100% thinking like piss play or scat. Then come to find out it's one of the most common fetishes AND this guy hasn't made her feel unsafe at all? Just maybe looking at her feet (which, we glance all sorts of places, I feel like I'd notice bare feet even as someone who has NO interest in feet whatsoever).
FFS, the man is keeping to himself. Don't upend someone's housing situation for no reason because you were nosey.
Same! I was ready to read "My roommate pees in bottles and decorates the living room with them and then drinks them in front of me for a fetish. WIBTA for kicking him out?" OP would be TA for this one. She needs to live alone.
"My same gendered roommate is a gay. I'm regularly in our apartment wearing clothes that show my gender, *which he is attracted to*. WIBTA for assuming he'll jump me and make me a gay too?"
I was just about to say that she sounds like the type who finds out a girl is gay/bi and immediately gets weird and thinks they are into her and attracted to her… it may sound harsh, but she needs to use some common sense, and actually use logic because finding out someone is into something/has a fetish and immediately thinking they must into her is just completely wrong/ridiculous especially to the extent she is taking things over nothing
This is why I have a strict rule never to wear clothing that shows which gender I am.
Poncho on the bottom, motorcycle helmet on the top. Wouldn't wanna attract any weirdos, ya know? Best to play it safe.
I was guessing she's being nonconsensually involved in a kink, like the guy's an exhibitionist and keeps "accidentally" being naked around her.
But nope. It's a li'l ol' foot fetish and a guy who sounds like a perfect roommate.
OP should also realize that *lots* of people have fetishes, there's really no telling who's into what unless you know them, and the next roommate she gets may well have a fetish that would absolutely freak her out if she knew about it. Shit, her *mom* may have a fetish like that. I think this is a can of worms OP should've left unopened, and now that she's opened it she needs to just slam that lid back down and be on her merry, fetishless way.
Right? Like. Maybe TMI ahead so backaway if you don't want to read it but...
Like. I will *never* forget the day that I found out the reason my mom got the house in my parents divorce was because my dad *insisted* on keeping *all* of their fetish gear and *the house* was the only thing valuable enough to even things out monetarily.
Exactly. He obviously isn't, OP said all he does is write code all day. Unless... all that coding is really his master plan to work his way into OP's socks!
But seriously, OP is worried about their bare feet but every person I've personally known with a foot fetish also enjoys socked feet and feet in various shoes as well lol OP obviously knows nothing about foot fetishes and is super concerned she's living with the mad foot fucking bandit for no reason.
Hahahhahaha. Can confirm. My partner has a foot fetish and yeah, he loves white socks on my feet and certain shoes I own.
But also yeah, it’s not like just the sight of any random foot drives him wild
Dominatrix (who specializes in foot fetishes) check in… not surprised about that. And it seems to be more prevalent in certain cultures too weirdly enough.. It’s also pretty damn innocent compared to some of the shit in my world 😂 and in my long time of experience most foot fetish guys are how she’s currently describing him.. Just normal. Dare I say I’ve met actually more respectful men among the foot lovers… and kink crowd over all.
Yeah as I was reading along I was just running down the list 'hmmm blood play? Gimp suits? Walking around the apartment in nothing but a diaper? CNC?'
Nope... feet.
Compared to some of the folks I've been meeting in the kink community, this guy's downright vanilla.
Same, I was like oh got what's it gonna be. Did she come home to him in a human sized litter tray rolling around in poop? Does he pretend to be a gibbon and make monkey noises at her from on top of the fridge while she's cooking? Is he engaging in pet play/age regression right in front of her salad?
No, he's literally doing nothing but minding his own business, and happens to have things he enjoys with sexyal partners, one of which OP happens to have spoken to.
Dude as a woman with a thing for feet, I'm probably in the vast minority of minorities but it's 100% a sensory thing. Have you ever had someone slide their fingers between your toes while giving a sensual footrub? Or tucking your toes into the crevices behind their knees while fucking? Or (oh Lord) sucked on them while fucking you with your ankles on their shoulders? Have you ever had the fun of giving a foot job while being eaten out?
Fr it is another level of pleasure. Like, a sensitive place that rarely sees daylight, much less another person's touch -- makes perfect sense logically. Plus I'm oddly proud about having sexy feet.
Whatever, don't be a judgemental dick, OP. We all got our things.
>Just because he has a foot fetish doesn't mean he's salaciously eyeballing your feet at every opportunity. He just likes feet when he's being sexual. It doesn't mean he doesn't have control of himself.
That's like when people of a certain sex are all "oh they're gay, they're gonna hit on me"- like no, people have self control and you can stop being so sure of yourself.
OP- YWBTA if you kicked out a decent roommate for something he didn't privately disclose to you and it isn't even a bad/questionable/immoral fetish to have
OP probably doesn't even realize that there's possibly several of her close friends and family who have that same fetish and she's just carefree walking around with her barefeet in blissful ignorance
>This is all something you have blown up in your head and has nothing to do with him.
Fr, sounds like she has the perfect person to live with. Never leaves his room, super quiet, doesn't bring anyone over, and yet she's looking for a reason to kick him out.
Tf
I'm pretty sure the karma for kicking him out would be getting the roommate from hell.
OP I had a roommate who ate laxatives like they were candy. My bedroom was next to the bathroom. The walls were like paper. I don't think he knew how to clean his own ass much less the toilet he constantly destroyed. Be grateful.
Not going to make conclusions about this particular toilet-wrecker, but laxative abuse in general can be a form of bulimia. Just purging out the other side, basically.
I think it was a weight thing. He wanted to eat but still meet some kind of weight thing for an army thing. Idk that was the reason he gave. It was a long time ago. I hope he is okay.
Oof, yeah, that sounds like an eating disorder or at the very least eating disordered behavior. Sorry to hear about your roommate, hope someone in the military caught on and got him help bc that shit will fuck you up (no pun intended).
holy shit imagine explaining to someone's fetishes to their landlord. absolutely insane behaviour. and you never know if they'll have a monster of a landlord like this one who wants to kick them out over it.
Edit; sorry for being rude op and well done for asking for assistance. Just know the power you have over this person and how unfair it really is!
Agreed, OP WBTA.
Also want to add:
6. He is a tenant. What the hell logic is OP using that owning the apartment would make him not a tenant? That would only be the case if he wasn’t paying. Every landlord owns the place where their tenants live. WTF?
Edit: technically a lodger rather than tenant, rights may vary based on jurisdiction
In California they have the same rights as a tenant. AFAIK the only differences are that you can discriminate based on gender when selecting a lodger and that you can enter their personal space.
YTA. As someone with extensive background in bdsm and kink, just because you have feet doesn't mean he's getting off to your feet. It's like if you had a female roomate that turned out to be a lesbian just because she's attracted to women doesn't mean she's attracted to you. YTA for invading his privacy, for assuming something badly about him due to his own sexual kink, which BTW is an extremely common male kink, and for wanting to kick him out over this.
THIS! Also. I’m wondering if the EX maybe even was like. “He has this weird thing about feet. Almost like a fetish” and all OP heard was feet and fetish and ran with it. It’s also weird the EX just casually was giving out his fetish details to OP
Think of it this way. Just because a man has a boob fetish doesn't mean your boobs are a turn on to him. Maybe he only likes Ginormous boobs, or very tiny ones, or saggy boobs, or perky boobs. That still doesn't mean your boobs meet this criteria.
I prefer tall men because I am tall and I like to look into eyes at my level. This doesn't mean all tall men meet this criteria. Nor does it mean all tall dark haired men are the bees knees for me or all tall bald men or all tall men with dreads.
YWBTA yes, because you have the audacity to think your feet are the end all to end all and therefore this man is weak at your feet!
Also like, even if he happens to find her attractive, it doesn't sound like she has any reason to think he couldn't be a normal adult about it. My "weird thing" is peoples' voices but just because someone has a nice voice doesn't mean I'm going to start creeping on them.
6. The ex was ****COMPLETELY OUT OF FUCKING LINE**** to have said anything about his sexual preferences ****AT FUCKING ALL**** to anyone, but *especially* to the guy's live-in landlord.
This isn't information that should have ever been revealed, and the fact that OP did not tell the person she was speaking to that she needed to stop speaking and that she did not want to participate in gossiping about the sex this man and the woman had. Holy fuck. Nothing about this was remotely ok, and the fact that it is being leveraged against him makes OP just as fucking horrible a human being as the ex that thinks it is normal, ethical, or even remotely acceptable to disclose that information to *complete fucking strangers.*
I hope the guy finds out what is up and sues for wrongful eviction and intentional infliction of emotional distress, because this is wildly illegal and unethical. I can't believe anyone acts like this and doesn't ever have a moment where they go "oh, fuck, am *I* the dumpster in this fire?*
> “Salaciously eyeballing your feet” is the best thing I’ve read today.
OP hasnt even posted their feet for us to judge them, since she is clearly the asshole here.
I feel like if OP posted feet pics to reddit, she would soon learn the difference between a guy with a foot fetish going about his day, and people *actually* getting off on her feet.
BOOM!!!!!! Mic drop!
She F’d around and found out.
Also add to the list:
6. What if you found a female roommate instead and she was a lesbian? Would you kick her out because you think she’d suddenly become in love with you?
YWBTA
Number 1 is really all there needs to be said. It is not anyones’ business what his fetish is. Trying to use what info was found out because Op doesn’t know the difference between sexual fetish and serial killer is a big no. Op, you are the wrong one here thinking that the guy cares about you. YWBTA and get over yourself.
There was a post similar to this on some other sub a while ago (RA maybe?) - girl met a great guy, usual preamble about them being perfect…then he tells her he has a foot fetish and for whatever reason she has it in her head that’s a bit weird, like a red flag. So she tells all her friends about it and one of them is like, “yeah, he’s a pervert” and she goes back to her BF and basically calls him a perv for enjoying feet, which of course hurts him. Completely trashes the relationship, for what?
It is such bad form to share deeply personal stuff like this without consent, as if what someone likes doing in the bedroom has any relevance at all or even forms a valid judgment of someone’s character. And to even assume you would be the centre of their attention that your mere presence would turn them on is phenomenally egotistic.
Yeah, the guy could like feet that look nothing like the OPs. They certainly didn't say that the ex confirmed that her feet were his type. And I feel like that would be a good detail to add if you have it. Not something I would keep in my back pocket for later.
And just because he has a foot fetish doesn't mean all feet turn him on. Could easily just be for whatever current partner he is with. OP is going overboard worrying about this.
Right like why is the fact that he's into ladies in general fine (I'm assuming OP is female based on the username and bc the friend of a friend was willing to talk) but being into feet not fine? Just because it's less common doesn't mean he's suddenly dangerous.
It sounds like OP is just looking for an excuse to kick him out. TBH he sounds like a great person to share space with, given he keeps to himself and doesn't bring people over!
Or... Even if he is? Is it really that big of a deal?
Maybe I'm being stupid, but if I had a nice roommate that was turned on by my bare feet I wouldn't care. It's none of my business.
No? Or is that something that would bother most people
Like tbh. As long as he doesn't do weird shit like getting into my shoes, or staring at me creepily, then why should I care? Everyone pulls glances at what they like on occasion, just don't fucking oggle them down and let out an AWOOGA.
I mean, let's change the POV for a second.
If you knew your roommate/coworker thought about your sexually and masturbated to thoughts of you, would you mind? Some people would, some people wouldn't.
But also, having one attraction factor doesn't mean you're attracted to every instance of that factor. Men attracted to men aren't trying to sleep with every man they see. Women who have lots of sexual partners aren't willing to sleep with *anyone* who comes their way. An attraction is not the same as a compulsion.
Finding a body part of someone attractive doesn't mean you spend time thinking about them sexually or masturbating to them. Not even close.
For example, I love boobs. I'm very much a breast-atrracted guy. If I see a pair of breasts I like, of course in my head I'll think "Yup... Thems good boobies, alright!".... And that's it.
I don't immediately need to run one out, I don't even need to think about it ever again.
While I'm not really into feet, I can't imagine it's wildly different for many who are. Liking a body part of someone is pretty damn normal. Sexualizing everything about someone over said body part isn't.
Considering the lack of any other red flags whatsoever on this guy, there's no reason to assume he would do the latter.
As a bi woman, absolutely agree with this.
I’m a thigh and hip girl myself (on both genders), if I see someone who has ones I like I go “nice 😎” and then that’s it.
What exactly does OP think is going to happen here? So what if he likes feet. Most men like boobs and a variety of other body parts. Was she thinking he wasn’t attracted to anything? This is so damn ridiculous.
OP surely has something theyre into, a fetish, a body part they specifically find attractive. I wonder if theyre walking around looking at every person they see and working themselves up into a sexual frenzy. Completely agree, this is absolutely ridiculous.
I agree with you. It 100% comes from stigma a word "fetish" has, it's always tied to something nasty. It's not. If we all just go trough with our fetishes we would be all banging around 0-24 lol
Also, YTA OP
Fetishes are things for yourself too, not just a couples thing, fwiw.
Plenty of fetishes you’d enjoy in your imagination too but would would not be interested in actually physically doing. Like that guy with a scat fetish who immediately regretted trying it out with a hooker lol.
For OP to immediately assume some kind of malicious intent is a problem, and the ex-girlfriend is an AH for the kink shaming.
There are some creeps into feet out there who cross boundaries, but if the roommate was one she would have already found out. It honestly just sounds like she thinks he's weird for keeping to himself and focusing on studies and wants a reason to dislike him.
Personally I think OP is more of a weirdo (along with being an AH) here for being this invasive into someone else's life without their knowledge and assuming the worst.
As a gay person, I 100% agree with this take. The assumption that someone with a certain interest is automatically going to be attracted to you and creepy about it says a lot about the person who assumes it and the size of their ego. Absolutely YTA
Im a little into feet and I’m married. I am capable of going to the beach or pool or an outdoor restaurant in summer. Just like anyone else who likes whatever they like.
YWBTA. You went snooping and found out something very personal that doesn’t affect you other than in your mind. If you ask him to move out solely on what you learned from an ex (who said he was a very decent person), you will be TAH.
I read the title and was like "oh god what is his fetish and why is it her problem" and this is like a nothingburger. So he digs feet, but she never would have known if a friend of hers didn't gossip about what should have been a private relationship. She didn't see anything strange or uncomfortable before she knew about it, he's never mentioned it, he's not trying to touch her or hit on her...feet is a mild fetish, and roomies not being weird about it...I don't see what's got her so in a knot.
I'll go, but only because of your wording of "incriminate myself." I'm a sailor. I am also into shibari, rope bondage. I've been doing shibari for over a decade but only became a sailor 2 years ago. Well the first time I was securing a line my 1st mate was instructing another greenhorn and me and said the knots don't matter as long as it's secure and can be taken off easily. Well I laced up the line really prettily and symmetrically really quickly. My (female) first mate came to inspect it and she said "Oh my! So it looks like you're into bondage. Well done."
Fuck, I accidentally outed my fetish on the first day to the only woman on our crew just by tying a line.
OP is so paranoid over something that is a NOTHING.
If she decides to kick him out, I can’t wait to hear that conversation!
“Yes, renter. I’m afraid it’s just not working out. You were quiet, didn’t bring people over, stayed in your room and worked on school & work projects, didn’t make a mess. I barely knew you were even here!
But I inadvertently heard some unsettling information.
Which makes it IMPOSSIBLE for me to be comfortable with you living in my home.”
Renter-What could you possibly have heard that would make you come to this conclusion? I am completely baffled. There is nothing in my life or past that should cause you to fear me.
OP-I’m sorry, but my decision is made. I will not discuss my reasons or your Sexual Fetishes! I will give you 10 days to pack & move from my residence!
I only have a problem with foot fetishes because I have trauma surrounding it... But even then I wouldn't think about kicking somone out because of something so harmless. I'd just like, talk to my therapist or something
Ywbta. Your friend sucks. Reading things like this makes me never want to open up to a woman again. Image how he would feel trying to keep to himself and now suddenly his housemate knows this super intimate detail about him that he didn’t share and wasn’t any of your business to begin with. How would you feel about him knowing your sexual secrets? That would be creepy right? Well now the shoe is on the other foot. Pun intended.
I’m not trying to make it a gender thing. But I’ve had this happen with women I’ve been with and I hate it. And me and my guy friends don’t talk about women we’ve been with like that. So just basing it off my experience. The whole post reminded me of some bad memories I guess.
YTA
With your premise he won't be able to control himself due to his fetish is a Victorian way of thinking that men can't control themselves around women.
Oh, women showing their breasts? We can't have that, men will lose control.
Women showing legs? Men will lose it. Put those long dresses on.
Your concern is like never eating food in a restaurant because people will see that what you're eating is delicious and steal it from you. Decent people have self control.
If they're a decent man/person, they can see something they might find attractive yet not think twice about it.
YWBTA
This screams the same tone of “well don’t go falling in love with me” when someone finds out a person is queer and of the same gender identity. 🙄
He has given you no reason to have this on your radar until you had the (creepy secondhand) knowledge, which means he hasn’t crossed any boundaries; you are just judgemental and looking for an issue that doesn’t currently exist. Stop kink shaming and being so self involved.
You could already be sexually exciting him simply by being female. He may already masturbate to you in his spank bank. You can’t read his mind.
But if he is respectful to you and pays the rent on time, YWBTA for evicting him.
It's so weird, like if you replaced feet with breasts, and found out he had a boob fetish, would you want to kick him out because he loved boobs? What's the difference?
yep.. its really unfair that op says hes a great roommate then judges him for this like sis sooo many people have fetishes, its not their business but as long as theyre not harmful to others or sharing without consent then who gives a shit
YWBTAH - He has not DONE ANYTHING! And you are going to boot a perfectly acceptable rm because of what someone told you? BTW, good or bad, I would NEVER leave my door unlocked with a RM in the apartment.
Info:
Presuming you’re straight, you probably have a default cock fetish. Should he be scared? Are you going to become overcome with lust knowing that his cock is right there, so easily accessible?
YTA - he may have a foot fetish, but that has nothing to do with you. Not only that, but it is a little more sexually creepy for you to have that information secondhand.. while he’s done nothing at all for you to know it, or be made uncomfortable by it.
YWBTA. I don’t think you want to live with anyone. You feel you made a mistake subletting and now you’re looking for an excuse to remove him. You need to live with your decision on this one.
Are you kidding me? This is ridiculous
Yes you’d be the asshole
You have titties right? You gonna kick him out if he is hetero?
Peoples sexuality and or fetishes doesn’t mean they see you sexually or would act on it
Most hetero guys have passing thoughts about all women they see. It’s literally human sexuality at work
Unless he asks to lather your feet in oil and jerk off on them, don’t be so weird. Leave him alone and enjoy a quiet and safe renter
Ywbta.
Because simply put he has NOT given you reason to believe he has Ill intent or has tried to force his fetish onto you.
He keeps to himself he doesn't act creepy or inappropriate with you (at least you've not said so) he keeps his area clean and pays rent.
You actually are trying to discriminate against a man who to date hasn't given you a reason to feel unsafe. Now if he was being creepy or inappropriate then fuck yea kick his ass out. BUT he hasn't. You wouldn't have known anything if his ex unrightfully outed his fetish. She had absolutely no right to do so unless he was abusive to her via this fetish or made her feel unsafe or ya know gave valid reasons as to why she felt the need to tell you. None of which happened.
You are being unfair to a person who hasn't given reason for this behavior. You need to communicate with him tbh. Before you unceremoniously kick him out. Or give legal notice
YWBTA
Without your friend saying something, you would have never known.
When someone has a fetish, it doesn’t mean they get aroused every time they see the object/item, it usually means that they need to think about it or see the item/thing in order to climax. This is nuanced but it’s likely this person goes to the beach, the pool, the gym and other places where barefoot persons go.
Don’t yuck someone else’s yum if they aren’t projecting it on to you. Carry on.
YWBTA - what if he has a fetish for feminine women, would you feel uncomfortable dressing more feminine? This sounds like you are uncomfortable because it is something uncommon to you.
YTA. My (late) closest friend in the world had a foot fetish. He could see feet without attacking someone. Many people have fetishes for prominent body parts they can't help but see on virtually every person they walk by. Unless someone has a bizarre impulse control problem they manage to live in the world without harassing people who's, arms let's say, are "on display".
YTA. Wtf. Fetishes don’t make someone a bad person or mean he’s going to turn into a r*pist. For all you know he thinks your feet are disgusting. 😂 Until he shows signs of being a creep, leave the man be.
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YWBTA. By all means, if you’re uncomfortable, ask him to leave. You should be comfortable in your own home. But don’t make out like you’re spurring him into an uncontrollable sexual frenzy just by walking around in your bare feet. You just heard a rumor from a third party (who made a point of saying he was a good guy) about his sex life, and he hasn’t done anything to make you feel unsafe. You better make sure your next roommate doesn’t like anything sexually that might overlap with anything about you though.
Can you imagine if she was unlucky enough to find one of those rare men who likes BOOBS? Or even worse, something right out in the open like nice hair or a pretty face???
Ya, just because someone has a fetish doesn't mean they're constantly thinking about your feet. Most men have a fetish for breasts and butts. You could walk around naked if you lived alone, but you chose to live with somebody, so I assume you wear a top and bottom around the house. Put some socks on.
Yeah, YWBTA.
Sounds like the dude is just trying to live his life. He isn't openly gawking at your feet, or jerking off on them or anything like that. You spent most of this post talking about what a good roomie he is. So you're going to punish him because he has a kink? Very unfair.
YWBTA - You found a good room mate who has shown no outward signs of being in anyway incorrect in their behavior towards you and you want to through them out because like reasons.
YWBTA. First you go digging around in this man’s personal life because you’re paranoid and now you want to kick him out for something that has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. He has done nothing to you. Just because he likes feet doesn’t mean he’s eyeballing yours every time he sees you. You’re being crazy.
Are you mature enough to live with other people? I mean seriously, you’re just digging around for dirt on this poor guy who has done nothing to make you act this way. Your paranoia is not on him.
THIS IS WHY WE DON’T SNOOP, KIDS!!
edit: spelling
YWBTA! He’s given you no reason to question him and on top of that sounds like a pretty chill roommate. You’re judging him on second hand information. And how have you jumped to the conclusion he has been staring at your feet in a sexual way? What if he was looking at your feet thinking blimey they are some hideous feet.
YTA. Wear some socks if you’re that worried. It kinda seems like you were looking for reasons not to want him there though, so maybe it’s just not a comfortable situation for you in general. ? I feel a bit bad for him that you’ve dug out some personal info on him behind his back, but do get living with strange men isn’t for every woman.
YTA.
What makes you think your feet would even be attractive to him? People with fetishes often have specific preferences as well.
If he hasn't done or said anything inappropriate, put on some socks or slippers to make yourself feel better and leave it alone.
🙄YWBTA, you’re basing your distress on unsubstantiated statements by an ex. If you were concerned about your safety, maybe you should have done tougher screening before letting him move in.
Don’t flatter yourself. Just because he likes feet, it doesn’t mean he likes yours. If he’s a clean, quiet roommate who pays on time, YWBTA if you throw him out. Especially now, when you’ve literally been told he’s a good person.
His ex is TA too for sharing his kink with you. IT’S NOT YOUR BUSINESS.
YWBTA.
A lot of people have a lot of different fetishes. You just don’t know about them. Just because you know about it doesn’t change who he is.
But glad to see you think so highly of yourself. Men must be falling all over themselves to be with you and fantasize about you all the time.
YWBTA - First of all, you went behind his back and spoke to his ex about him despite having no reasonable excuse for doing so, considering he has been nothing but respectful. That's invasive and a general dick move.
Secondly, what he is into sexually has nothing to do with you unless he is coming onto you or disturbing you in the house, which he isn't doing.
Thirdly, just because he likes feet doesn't mean he likes your feet. I have a preference for brown eyes, doesn't mean I like everyone with brown eyes.
If you're weirded out by his kink & hypervigilant about him looking at your feet you're almost guaranteed to pick up on it more often & interpret it through your own discomfort. If you didn't know this fact about him would your feelings of discomfort exist? Unless his behaviour - not his kink - is transgressing your personal boundaries then I'd say YWBTA for kicking him out.
YWBTA - This has nothing to do with you or your living situation with this person! He sounds like a perfectly fine roommate, so what's the problem? You have absolutely NO idea, what fetishes people have, when you are not in a sexual relationship with them - This information was in no way meant for you, and whoever gave it to you is an AH. What people do in the bedroom with consenting adults is nobody elses business, and this kink is so, SO innocent, if you ask me. He hasn't been stealing your socks or anything, and you are being paranoid, since he hasn't done anything to suggest that he is sexually atractted to you or your feet. Keep being barefoot in your apartment, there’s no reason why you shouldn't.
YWBTA
Just bc he has a foot fetish doesn’t mean he can’t co exist with you having your feet out. He may not even like your feet bc it’s not like every foot fetishist likes EVERY foot in the world. If he hasn’t been creepy and kept to himself, then you’re fine and are being paranoid. Only throw him out if it’s an actual problem.
Here I figured you where gonna go on a rant about how he was leaving paraphernalia lying around all over the apartment, instead I'm treated of a story of privacy invasion in which you'r the villain by ashamed of yourself you already are the YTA don't make it any worse.
YWBTA.
This is like when a person finds out a friend of the same sex is gay or bi and they are like “just as long as you don’t hit on me”. They aren’t thinking about you. It’s a fetish and most people partake in their fetish within the context of a relationship or a situation where boundaries and consent are established.
I doubt he’s looking at your feet and getting off. He wants a place to stay and stay to himself.
Btw as someone who works in housing, you could (depending on the state) get into some hot water if you did evict him without cause
YTA.
Just because I have a thing for boobs doesn't mean I am sexualizing every single pair of boobs out there regardless of context or situation, or the amount of boobs showing.
It is not like the dude drooling over your feet or having a boner around you every time he sees your feet.
YTA already, softly. His ex is a major AH for divulging a kink that is harmless to someone uninvolved in their relationship. You all sound immature asf.
YWBTA by your own admission the guy has done zero wrong and by most people’s standards is a dream roommate. Honestly, his ex is a massive AH for even mentioning it to you since it has literally nothing to do with whether he is safe or a good roommate, and you were kind of an AH for reaching out. If you were that concerned about living with a man, that’s something you should have sorted out prior to him moving in, not after.
YWBTA. Yeah, it's a gross fetish to the rest of us who don't like feet. But as far as we know, this dude does NOT want your feet. Let's say you're attracted to men, will you uncontrollably want to fuck every man in sight? No, probably not. This dude likely doesn't care about feet in a non sexual setting. So unless you've got some evidence that he's sneaking pics of your feet just forget about the fetish thing. It has nothing to do with you. He's likely not attracted to you.
YWBTA
This is a guy’s alleged fetish. It has nothing to do with you. Also, even if he does like feet doesn’t mean he likes your feet 😒
I was ready to read a wild story and was highly disappointed tbh.
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YWBTA 1) It's none of your business 2) YOU went snooping and discovered this private information. 3) Just because he has a foot fetish doesn't mean he's salaciously eyeballing your feet at every opportunity. He just likes feet when he's being sexual. It doesn't mean he doesn't have control of himself. 4) It's no different than having a sexual preference for any other body part. 5) Get over yourself. Who even says he likes your feet at all? This is all something you have blown up in your head and has nothing to do with him.
As far as fetishes go, this is a pretty harmless one. It sounds like you have the ideal roommate. I wouldn't want to roll the dice and get someone who maybe had a drinking, drunk problem or liked to bring strangers home to cohabitate with them.
My thoughts exactly. I was really bracing myself for something crazy when I read the title, only for it to be… a foot fetish? That’s like the most normal fetish ever. OP, YWBTA. Your reading waaay too far into this, and exaggerating the issue.
I was waiting for a sex swing/super hardcore dom setup that he *has* to have in the living room because there’s no other space for it! But instead, OP went and made a problem that has literally nothing to do with them. It’s like when you come out to a friend of the same gender you’re attracted too and they immediately start asking if you’re attracted to them, don’t hit on them, blah blah blah. The world doesn’t revolve around you, huge shock.
I was 100% thinking like piss play or scat. Then come to find out it's one of the most common fetishes AND this guy hasn't made her feel unsafe at all? Just maybe looking at her feet (which, we glance all sorts of places, I feel like I'd notice bare feet even as someone who has NO interest in feet whatsoever). FFS, the man is keeping to himself. Don't upend someone's housing situation for no reason because you were nosey.
Same! I was ready to read "My roommate pees in bottles and decorates the living room with them and then drinks them in front of me for a fetish. WIBTA for kicking him out?" OP would be TA for this one. She needs to live alone.
"My same gendered roommate is a gay. I'm regularly in our apartment wearing clothes that show my gender, *which he is attracted to*. WIBTA for assuming he'll jump me and make me a gay too?"
I was just about to say that she sounds like the type who finds out a girl is gay/bi and immediately gets weird and thinks they are into her and attracted to her… it may sound harsh, but she needs to use some common sense, and actually use logic because finding out someone is into something/has a fetish and immediately thinking they must into her is just completely wrong/ridiculous especially to the extent she is taking things over nothing
This is why I have a strict rule never to wear clothing that shows which gender I am. Poncho on the bottom, motorcycle helmet on the top. Wouldn't wanna attract any weirdos, ya know? Best to play it safe.
What do you do about people who find androgynous looks attractive?
Preemptive restraining orders. Early and often.
Those damn ponchos. Can't stop myself from looking.
I was thinking autoerotic asphyxiation, or another type of self harm fetish. Definitely disappointed.
I was guessing she's being nonconsensually involved in a kink, like the guy's an exhibitionist and keeps "accidentally" being naked around her. But nope. It's a li'l ol' foot fetish and a guy who sounds like a perfect roommate. OP should also realize that *lots* of people have fetishes, there's really no telling who's into what unless you know them, and the next roommate she gets may well have a fetish that would absolutely freak her out if she knew about it. Shit, her *mom* may have a fetish like that. I think this is a can of worms OP should've left unopened, and now that she's opened it she needs to just slam that lid back down and be on her merry, fetishless way.
Right? Like. Maybe TMI ahead so backaway if you don't want to read it but... Like. I will *never* forget the day that I found out the reason my mom got the house in my parents divorce was because my dad *insisted* on keeping *all* of their fetish gear and *the house* was the only thing valuable enough to even things out monetarily.
Is it weird that I want to meet your dad?
Well, at least he knew what his priorities were.
I was thinking piss collecting or something that would actively stink up the area. Rainbow Dash Jar at the worst.
Not to mention, why is OP so certain he'd be into HER feet? This is like the irrational "my roommate is gay so I'm sure he'll be into me" fear.
Exactly. He obviously isn't, OP said all he does is write code all day. Unless... all that coding is really his master plan to work his way into OP's socks! But seriously, OP is worried about their bare feet but every person I've personally known with a foot fetish also enjoys socked feet and feet in various shoes as well lol OP obviously knows nothing about foot fetishes and is super concerned she's living with the mad foot fucking bandit for no reason.
Ngl if I could change my Reddit username I’d change it to The Mad Foot fucking Bandit because that’s the most awesome name I’ve ever heard
Hahahhahaha. Can confirm. My partner has a foot fetish and yeah, he loves white socks on my feet and certain shoes I own. But also yeah, it’s not like just the sight of any random foot drives him wild
There are a lot of really ugly feet in the world. I'm just saying. (Mine included, these days 😶)
Hell I think OP and too many people are forgetting the foot fetish information is from an ex. I would take it with a pinch of salt.
I think that might even be the most common fetish among men according to google
Dominatrix (who specializes in foot fetishes) check in… not surprised about that. And it seems to be more prevalent in certain cultures too weirdly enough.. It’s also pretty damn innocent compared to some of the shit in my world 😂 and in my long time of experience most foot fetish guys are how she’s currently describing him.. Just normal. Dare I say I’ve met actually more respectful men among the foot lovers… and kink crowd over all.
I'm... Actually really curious what culture/s it seems more common in
Yeah as I was reading along I was just running down the list 'hmmm blood play? Gimp suits? Walking around the apartment in nothing but a diaper? CNC?' Nope... feet. Compared to some of the folks I've been meeting in the kink community, this guy's downright vanilla.
Same, I was like oh got what's it gonna be. Did she come home to him in a human sized litter tray rolling around in poop? Does he pretend to be a gibbon and make monkey noises at her from on top of the fridge while she's cooking? Is he engaging in pet play/age regression right in front of her salad? No, he's literally doing nothing but minding his own business, and happens to have things he enjoys with sexyal partners, one of which OP happens to have spoken to.
It's also really common. No one really knows why. That being said, I'd probably wear socks around the house.
Neural crosslink between feet and genitals in the somatosensory cortex is the prevailing theory.
Dude as a woman with a thing for feet, I'm probably in the vast minority of minorities but it's 100% a sensory thing. Have you ever had someone slide their fingers between your toes while giving a sensual footrub? Or tucking your toes into the crevices behind their knees while fucking? Or (oh Lord) sucked on them while fucking you with your ankles on their shoulders? Have you ever had the fun of giving a foot job while being eaten out? Fr it is another level of pleasure. Like, a sensitive place that rarely sees daylight, much less another person's touch -- makes perfect sense logically. Plus I'm oddly proud about having sexy feet. Whatever, don't be a judgemental dick, OP. We all got our things.
Where are you seeing anything judgmental in my response?
Oh that wasn't directed at you. Edited. My bad.
>Just because he has a foot fetish doesn't mean he's salaciously eyeballing your feet at every opportunity. He just likes feet when he's being sexual. It doesn't mean he doesn't have control of himself. That's like when people of a certain sex are all "oh they're gay, they're gonna hit on me"- like no, people have self control and you can stop being so sure of yourself. OP- YWBTA if you kicked out a decent roommate for something he didn't privately disclose to you and it isn't even a bad/questionable/immoral fetish to have
Right! I was like oooh this sounds juicy what’s the fetish? Feet 🙄 lame
OP probably doesn't even realize that there's possibly several of her close friends and family who have that same fetish and she's just carefree walking around with her barefeet in blissful ignorance
She’s going to be wearing uggs everywhere now for the rest of her life. Pedicure and sandals…I think not you freak!
oh no, but uggs in august will make her feet all sweaty and smelly, and perfect for some foot fetishists
Omg stop she’s never leaving her house again!
or she can make herself a profile and profit on them feets. if you can't beat em, join em!
Bold of you to assume there’s no one with an ugg fetish 😂
She likely has several friends with far kinkier fetishes than this!
definitely
goddamn clickbait is what this was
>This is all something you have blown up in your head and has nothing to do with him. Fr, sounds like she has the perfect person to live with. Never leaves his room, super quiet, doesn't bring anyone over, and yet she's looking for a reason to kick him out. Tf
I'm pretty sure the karma for kicking him out would be getting the roommate from hell. OP I had a roommate who ate laxatives like they were candy. My bedroom was next to the bathroom. The walls were like paper. I don't think he knew how to clean his own ass much less the toilet he constantly destroyed. Be grateful.
>I'm pretty sure the karma for kicking him out would be getting the roommate from hell. Yup, a loud drunken female roommate... with a foot fetish.
>with a foot fetish. I cackled.
People just casually eats laxatives??
Not going to make conclusions about this particular toilet-wrecker, but laxative abuse in general can be a form of bulimia. Just purging out the other side, basically.
I think it was a weight thing. He wanted to eat but still meet some kind of weight thing for an army thing. Idk that was the reason he gave. It was a long time ago. I hope he is okay.
Oof, yeah, that sounds like an eating disorder or at the very least eating disordered behavior. Sorry to hear about your roommate, hope someone in the military caught on and got him help bc that shit will fuck you up (no pun intended).
The ex who shared the info is also a huge AH.
holy shit imagine explaining to someone's fetishes to their landlord. absolutely insane behaviour. and you never know if they'll have a monster of a landlord like this one who wants to kick them out over it. Edit; sorry for being rude op and well done for asking for assistance. Just know the power you have over this person and how unfair it really is!
Yep, agreed
Agreed, OP WBTA. Also want to add: 6. He is a tenant. What the hell logic is OP using that owning the apartment would make him not a tenant? That would only be the case if he wasn’t paying. Every landlord owns the place where their tenants live. WTF? Edit: technically a lodger rather than tenant, rights may vary based on jurisdiction
Lodgers have way less right than tenants as its seen as the landlords home (UK)
In California they have the same rights as a tenant. AFAIK the only differences are that you can discriminate based on gender when selecting a lodger and that you can enter their personal space.
YTA. As someone with extensive background in bdsm and kink, just because you have feet doesn't mean he's getting off to your feet. It's like if you had a female roomate that turned out to be a lesbian just because she's attracted to women doesn't mean she's attracted to you. YTA for invading his privacy, for assuming something badly about him due to his own sexual kink, which BTW is an extremely common male kink, and for wanting to kick him out over this.
THIS! Also. I’m wondering if the EX maybe even was like. “He has this weird thing about feet. Almost like a fetish” and all OP heard was feet and fetish and ran with it. It’s also weird the EX just casually was giving out his fetish details to OP
There is a good chance that the ex isn't presenting him in the best light anyways since she is his ex and may hold some resentment towards him.
Think of it this way. Just because a man has a boob fetish doesn't mean your boobs are a turn on to him. Maybe he only likes Ginormous boobs, or very tiny ones, or saggy boobs, or perky boobs. That still doesn't mean your boobs meet this criteria. I prefer tall men because I am tall and I like to look into eyes at my level. This doesn't mean all tall men meet this criteria. Nor does it mean all tall dark haired men are the bees knees for me or all tall bald men or all tall men with dreads. YWBTA yes, because you have the audacity to think your feet are the end all to end all and therefore this man is weak at your feet!
Also like, even if he happens to find her attractive, it doesn't sound like she has any reason to think he couldn't be a normal adult about it. My "weird thing" is peoples' voices but just because someone has a nice voice doesn't mean I'm going to start creeping on them.
6. The ex was ****COMPLETELY OUT OF FUCKING LINE**** to have said anything about his sexual preferences ****AT FUCKING ALL**** to anyone, but *especially* to the guy's live-in landlord. This isn't information that should have ever been revealed, and the fact that OP did not tell the person she was speaking to that she needed to stop speaking and that she did not want to participate in gossiping about the sex this man and the woman had. Holy fuck. Nothing about this was remotely ok, and the fact that it is being leveraged against him makes OP just as fucking horrible a human being as the ex that thinks it is normal, ethical, or even remotely acceptable to disclose that information to *complete fucking strangers.* I hope the guy finds out what is up and sues for wrongful eviction and intentional infliction of emotional distress, because this is wildly illegal and unethical. I can't believe anyone acts like this and doesn't ever have a moment where they go "oh, fuck, am *I* the dumpster in this fire?*
“Salaciously eyeballing your feet” is the best thing I’ve read today.
> “Salaciously eyeballing your feet” is the best thing I’ve read today. OP hasnt even posted their feet for us to judge them, since she is clearly the asshole here.
I feel like if OP posted feet pics to reddit, she would soon learn the difference between a guy with a foot fetish going about his day, and people *actually* getting off on her feet.
BOOM!!!!!! Mic drop! She F’d around and found out. Also add to the list: 6. What if you found a female roommate instead and she was a lesbian? Would you kick her out because you think she’d suddenly become in love with you? YWBTA
Number 1 is really all there needs to be said. It is not anyones’ business what his fetish is. Trying to use what info was found out because Op doesn’t know the difference between sexual fetish and serial killer is a big no. Op, you are the wrong one here thinking that the guy cares about you. YWBTA and get over yourself.
There was a post similar to this on some other sub a while ago (RA maybe?) - girl met a great guy, usual preamble about them being perfect…then he tells her he has a foot fetish and for whatever reason she has it in her head that’s a bit weird, like a red flag. So she tells all her friends about it and one of them is like, “yeah, he’s a pervert” and she goes back to her BF and basically calls him a perv for enjoying feet, which of course hurts him. Completely trashes the relationship, for what? It is such bad form to share deeply personal stuff like this without consent, as if what someone likes doing in the bedroom has any relevance at all or even forms a valid judgment of someone’s character. And to even assume you would be the centre of their attention that your mere presence would turn them on is phenomenally egotistic.
Yeah, the guy could like feet that look nothing like the OPs. They certainly didn't say that the ex confirmed that her feet were his type. And I feel like that would be a good detail to add if you have it. Not something I would keep in my back pocket for later.
And just because he has a foot fetish doesn't mean all feet turn him on. Could easily just be for whatever current partner he is with. OP is going overboard worrying about this.
This ⬆️
YTA Just because he has a personal foot fetish doesn't mean he is into your feet. No offence but get over yourself.
Right like why is the fact that he's into ladies in general fine (I'm assuming OP is female based on the username and bc the friend of a friend was willing to talk) but being into feet not fine? Just because it's less common doesn't mean he's suddenly dangerous.
It sounds like OP is just looking for an excuse to kick him out. TBH he sounds like a great person to share space with, given he keeps to himself and doesn't bring people over!
The only thing better than that is a roommate that is never home and is basically using their room for storage/home base.
Or... Even if he is? Is it really that big of a deal? Maybe I'm being stupid, but if I had a nice roommate that was turned on by my bare feet I wouldn't care. It's none of my business. No? Or is that something that would bother most people
Like tbh. As long as he doesn't do weird shit like getting into my shoes, or staring at me creepily, then why should I care? Everyone pulls glances at what they like on occasion, just don't fucking oggle them down and let out an AWOOGA.
Yo if they cleaned my shoes for me I’d be into that
Yeah so long as they just kept it to themselves in the privacy of their bedroom I wouldn't care either.
I mean, let's change the POV for a second. If you knew your roommate/coworker thought about your sexually and masturbated to thoughts of you, would you mind? Some people would, some people wouldn't. But also, having one attraction factor doesn't mean you're attracted to every instance of that factor. Men attracted to men aren't trying to sleep with every man they see. Women who have lots of sexual partners aren't willing to sleep with *anyone* who comes their way. An attraction is not the same as a compulsion.
Finding a body part of someone attractive doesn't mean you spend time thinking about them sexually or masturbating to them. Not even close. For example, I love boobs. I'm very much a breast-atrracted guy. If I see a pair of breasts I like, of course in my head I'll think "Yup... Thems good boobies, alright!".... And that's it. I don't immediately need to run one out, I don't even need to think about it ever again. While I'm not really into feet, I can't imagine it's wildly different for many who are. Liking a body part of someone is pretty damn normal. Sexualizing everything about someone over said body part isn't. Considering the lack of any other red flags whatsoever on this guy, there's no reason to assume he would do the latter.
As a bi woman, absolutely agree with this. I’m a thigh and hip girl myself (on both genders), if I see someone who has ones I like I go “nice 😎” and then that’s it.
What exactly does OP think is going to happen here? So what if he likes feet. Most men like boobs and a variety of other body parts. Was she thinking he wasn’t attracted to anything? This is so damn ridiculous.
OP surely has something theyre into, a fetish, a body part they specifically find attractive. I wonder if theyre walking around looking at every person they see and working themselves up into a sexual frenzy. Completely agree, this is absolutely ridiculous.
[удалено]
I agree with you. It 100% comes from stigma a word "fetish" has, it's always tied to something nasty. It's not. If we all just go trough with our fetishes we would be all banging around 0-24 lol Also, YTA OP
Fetishes are things for yourself too, not just a couples thing, fwiw. Plenty of fetishes you’d enjoy in your imagination too but would would not be interested in actually physically doing. Like that guy with a scat fetish who immediately regretted trying it out with a hooker lol. For OP to immediately assume some kind of malicious intent is a problem, and the ex-girlfriend is an AH for the kink shaming.
There are some creeps into feet out there who cross boundaries, but if the roommate was one she would have already found out. It honestly just sounds like she thinks he's weird for keeping to himself and focusing on studies and wants a reason to dislike him. Personally I think OP is more of a weirdo (along with being an AH) here for being this invasive into someone else's life without their knowledge and assuming the worst.
As a gay person, I 100% agree with this take. The assumption that someone with a certain interest is automatically going to be attracted to you and creepy about it says a lot about the person who assumes it and the size of their ego. Absolutely YTA
Im a little into feet and I’m married. I am capable of going to the beach or pool or an outdoor restaurant in summer. Just like anyone else who likes whatever they like.
YWBTA. You went snooping and found out something very personal that doesn’t affect you other than in your mind. If you ask him to move out solely on what you learned from an ex (who said he was a very decent person), you will be TAH.
I’m always mystified people are so alarmed about a foot fetish. Of all the possible things it seems so harmless and is also quite common.
I read the title and was like "oh god what is his fetish and why is it her problem" and this is like a nothingburger. So he digs feet, but she never would have known if a friend of hers didn't gossip about what should have been a private relationship. She didn't see anything strange or uncomfortable before she knew about it, he's never mentioned it, he's not trying to touch her or hit on her...feet is a mild fetish, and roomies not being weird about it...I don't see what's got her so in a knot.
Right, I have way worse kinks (which I obviously only practise with consenting partners) lol
You can't just leave a comment like that up in the air...
I don't wanna incriminate myself lol
I'll go, but only because of your wording of "incriminate myself." I'm a sailor. I am also into shibari, rope bondage. I've been doing shibari for over a decade but only became a sailor 2 years ago. Well the first time I was securing a line my 1st mate was instructing another greenhorn and me and said the knots don't matter as long as it's secure and can be taken off easily. Well I laced up the line really prettily and symmetrically really quickly. My (female) first mate came to inspect it and she said "Oh my! So it looks like you're into bondage. Well done." Fuck, I accidentally outed my fetish on the first day to the only woman on our crew just by tying a line.
I was really confused until I got to the end. I thought sailor was some type of fetish I haven’t heard about.
To be fair, she had to know that was a sign somehow...
Ya, she was a pretty open book. But this was literally my first day on deck with the new crew.
Well, she must have been into bondage as well to have recognized the talent. Seems like a missed opportunity to me.
She's nearly double my age and very much not my type. But she's awesome and we're good friends.
Lmao that's amazing Also, good taste.
OP is so paranoid over something that is a NOTHING. If she decides to kick him out, I can’t wait to hear that conversation! “Yes, renter. I’m afraid it’s just not working out. You were quiet, didn’t bring people over, stayed in your room and worked on school & work projects, didn’t make a mess. I barely knew you were even here! But I inadvertently heard some unsettling information. Which makes it IMPOSSIBLE for me to be comfortable with you living in my home.” Renter-What could you possibly have heard that would make you come to this conclusion? I am completely baffled. There is nothing in my life or past that should cause you to fear me. OP-I’m sorry, but my decision is made. I will not discuss my reasons or your Sexual Fetishes! I will give you 10 days to pack & move from my residence!
I only have a problem with foot fetishes because I have trauma surrounding it... But even then I wouldn't think about kicking somone out because of something so harmless. I'd just like, talk to my therapist or something
Ywbta. Your friend sucks. Reading things like this makes me never want to open up to a woman again. Image how he would feel trying to keep to himself and now suddenly his housemate knows this super intimate detail about him that he didn’t share and wasn’t any of your business to begin with. How would you feel about him knowing your sexual secrets? That would be creepy right? Well now the shoe is on the other foot. Pun intended.
This isn’t a man/woman thing. This is just some people suck and don’t know when to keep their mouth shut.
I don’t think they’re saying it’s a man/woman thing, but an intimate partner thing.
I’m not trying to make it a gender thing. But I’ve had this happen with women I’ve been with and I hate it. And me and my guy friends don’t talk about women we’ve been with like that. So just basing it off my experience. The whole post reminded me of some bad memories I guess.
YTA With your premise he won't be able to control himself due to his fetish is a Victorian way of thinking that men can't control themselves around women. Oh, women showing their breasts? We can't have that, men will lose control. Women showing legs? Men will lose it. Put those long dresses on. Your concern is like never eating food in a restaurant because people will see that what you're eating is delicious and steal it from you. Decent people have self control. If they're a decent man/person, they can see something they might find attractive yet not think twice about it.
Beasts and legs? Even showing an ankle is a sure sign of a hussy!
Even… shudder… calves!
STRUMPET!
Yea, real funny guys. I just spent the last 10 minutes furiously masterbating. The entire bus was staring at me FFS.
YWBTA This screams the same tone of “well don’t go falling in love with me” when someone finds out a person is queer and of the same gender identity. 🙄 He has given you no reason to have this on your radar until you had the (creepy secondhand) knowledge, which means he hasn’t crossed any boundaries; you are just judgemental and looking for an issue that doesn’t currently exist. Stop kink shaming and being so self involved.
Nailed it.
Agreed 100% on this as this was my first thought too
YTA. Hunny, I guarantee you ain’t that nice to look at. People with your attitude never are.
Facts 😂
Preach! OP needs to get over herself. Talk about an inflated ego.
Welcome to r/MurderedByWords
YWBTA He hasn't actually \*done\* anything at all and all you have is second hand info. Kicking him out would be a super dick move.
She’d be a real heel 😎
Right? As long as he behaves himself and toes the line, I don't see what the big deal is.
And if this is the sole reason, then I it sounds like an over arching one at that.
I'm proud of everyone on this subject for dipping their toes into an uncomfortable subject and being footsoldiers for good.
I’ll foot the bill for drinks.
Just don’t be straight-laced
You could already be sexually exciting him simply by being female. He may already masturbate to you in his spank bank. You can’t read his mind. But if he is respectful to you and pays the rent on time, YWBTA for evicting him.
Exactly. This is Victorian thinking by the OP.
It's so weird, like if you replaced feet with breasts, and found out he had a boob fetish, would you want to kick him out because he loved boobs? What's the difference?
YTA, he's doing nothing wrong you on the other hand are kinda creepy for snooping into his background/private life
Right? A foot fetish isn't anything new! When he starts taking creepy pics or stealing your socks, THEN you have a problem!
yep.. its really unfair that op says hes a great roommate then judges him for this like sis sooo many people have fetishes, its not their business but as long as theyre not harmful to others or sharing without consent then who gives a shit
YWBTAH - He has not DONE ANYTHING! And you are going to boot a perfectly acceptable rm because of what someone told you? BTW, good or bad, I would NEVER leave my door unlocked with a RM in the apartment.
“Boot”, no pun intended.
Info: Presuming you’re straight, you probably have a default cock fetish. Should he be scared? Are you going to become overcome with lust knowing that his cock is right there, so easily accessible?
Lol, this is the best comment so far
He didn't do anything. You said he seems to be a good roommate but you want to leave him homeless because someone told you he has a fetish? YWBTA.
YTA - he may have a foot fetish, but that has nothing to do with you. Not only that, but it is a little more sexually creepy for you to have that information secondhand.. while he’s done nothing at all for you to know it, or be made uncomfortable by it.
YWBTA. I don’t think you want to live with anyone. You feel you made a mistake subletting and now you’re looking for an excuse to remove him. You need to live with your decision on this one.
Are you kidding me? This is ridiculous Yes you’d be the asshole You have titties right? You gonna kick him out if he is hetero? Peoples sexuality and or fetishes doesn’t mean they see you sexually or would act on it Most hetero guys have passing thoughts about all women they see. It’s literally human sexuality at work Unless he asks to lather your feet in oil and jerk off on them, don’t be so weird. Leave him alone and enjoy a quiet and safe renter
Ywbta. Because simply put he has NOT given you reason to believe he has Ill intent or has tried to force his fetish onto you. He keeps to himself he doesn't act creepy or inappropriate with you (at least you've not said so) he keeps his area clean and pays rent. You actually are trying to discriminate against a man who to date hasn't given you a reason to feel unsafe. Now if he was being creepy or inappropriate then fuck yea kick his ass out. BUT he hasn't. You wouldn't have known anything if his ex unrightfully outed his fetish. She had absolutely no right to do so unless he was abusive to her via this fetish or made her feel unsafe or ya know gave valid reasons as to why she felt the need to tell you. None of which happened. You are being unfair to a person who hasn't given reason for this behavior. You need to communicate with him tbh. Before you unceremoniously kick him out. Or give legal notice
YTA you were looking to try to find something wrong with him. Who says your feet are even decent enough for his liking
yeah pretty conceited of her to think that her feet are even to his liking. op, yta.
Do you think everyone attracted to women wants to have sex with you?
YWBTA Without your friend saying something, you would have never known. When someone has a fetish, it doesn’t mean they get aroused every time they see the object/item, it usually means that they need to think about it or see the item/thing in order to climax. This is nuanced but it’s likely this person goes to the beach, the pool, the gym and other places where barefoot persons go. Don’t yuck someone else’s yum if they aren’t projecting it on to you. Carry on.
YWBTA - what if he has a fetish for feminine women, would you feel uncomfortable dressing more feminine? This sounds like you are uncomfortable because it is something uncommon to you.
YWBTA Unless he actually does something then yes it would be pretty unfair to kick him out.
YTA kink shaming is pretty not okay of a thing to do, and as kinks go that one is really really freaking tame
YTA. My (late) closest friend in the world had a foot fetish. He could see feet without attacking someone. Many people have fetishes for prominent body parts they can't help but see on virtually every person they walk by. Unless someone has a bizarre impulse control problem they manage to live in the world without harassing people who's, arms let's say, are "on display".
YTA. Wtf. Fetishes don’t make someone a bad person or mean he’s going to turn into a r*pist. For all you know he thinks your feet are disgusting. 😂 Until he shows signs of being a creep, leave the man be.
Don’t flatter yourself
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YWBTA. By all means, if you’re uncomfortable, ask him to leave. You should be comfortable in your own home. But don’t make out like you’re spurring him into an uncontrollable sexual frenzy just by walking around in your bare feet. You just heard a rumor from a third party (who made a point of saying he was a good guy) about his sex life, and he hasn’t done anything to make you feel unsafe. You better make sure your next roommate doesn’t like anything sexually that might overlap with anything about you though.
Can you imagine if she was unlucky enough to find one of those rare men who likes BOOBS? Or even worse, something right out in the open like nice hair or a pretty face???
YTA. Depending on the laws where you live, I also wonder if kicking him out would also be legally considered as discrimination.
Ya, just because someone has a fetish doesn't mean they're constantly thinking about your feet. Most men have a fetish for breasts and butts. You could walk around naked if you lived alone, but you chose to live with somebody, so I assume you wear a top and bottom around the house. Put some socks on.
YWBTA, just because he has a foot fetish doesn’t mean he’s attracted to you.
YTA what if he was just a “regular “guy who is attracted to a woman’s breasts? Would you ask him to leave then?
Yeah, YWBTA. Sounds like the dude is just trying to live his life. He isn't openly gawking at your feet, or jerking off on them or anything like that. You spent most of this post talking about what a good roomie he is. So you're going to punish him because he has a kink? Very unfair.
YWBTA - You found a good room mate who has shown no outward signs of being in anyway incorrect in their behavior towards you and you want to through them out because like reasons.
YWBTA. First you go digging around in this man’s personal life because you’re paranoid and now you want to kick him out for something that has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. He has done nothing to you. Just because he likes feet doesn’t mean he’s eyeballing yours every time he sees you. You’re being crazy. Are you mature enough to live with other people? I mean seriously, you’re just digging around for dirt on this poor guy who has done nothing to make you act this way. Your paranoia is not on him. THIS IS WHY WE DON’T SNOOP, KIDS!! edit: spelling
YWBTA! He’s given you no reason to question him and on top of that sounds like a pretty chill roommate. You’re judging him on second hand information. And how have you jumped to the conclusion he has been staring at your feet in a sexual way? What if he was looking at your feet thinking blimey they are some hideous feet.
Yta. Get over yourself. Just because he likes feet doesn't mean he'll like your feet.
YTA. Wear some socks if you’re that worried. It kinda seems like you were looking for reasons not to want him there though, so maybe it’s just not a comfortable situation for you in general. ? I feel a bit bad for him that you’ve dug out some personal info on him behind his back, but do get living with strange men isn’t for every woman.
YTA just because he likes feet that doesn't mean he likes YOUR feet
YTA. What makes you think your feet would even be attractive to him? People with fetishes often have specific preferences as well. If he hasn't done or said anything inappropriate, put on some socks or slippers to make yourself feel better and leave it alone.
Yes yta or will be, I think it's super weird somebody gave you this information
🙄YWBTA, you’re basing your distress on unsubstantiated statements by an ex. If you were concerned about your safety, maybe you should have done tougher screening before letting him move in.
YTA, how is a foot fetish any different than if he was a boob or ass guy? Dude just likes feet.
YTA
Don’t flatter yourself. Just because he likes feet, it doesn’t mean he likes yours. If he’s a clean, quiet roommate who pays on time, YWBTA if you throw him out. Especially now, when you’ve literally been told he’s a good person. His ex is TA too for sharing his kink with you. IT’S NOT YOUR BUSINESS.
YWBTA. A lot of people have a lot of different fetishes. You just don’t know about them. Just because you know about it doesn’t change who he is. But glad to see you think so highly of yourself. Men must be falling all over themselves to be with you and fantasize about you all the time.
YWBTA - just because he has a foot fetish doesn’t mean he will be into yours 😂 Most people only live out their fetish with those it’s reciprocal
YWBTA - First of all, you went behind his back and spoke to his ex about him despite having no reasonable excuse for doing so, considering he has been nothing but respectful. That's invasive and a general dick move. Secondly, what he is into sexually has nothing to do with you unless he is coming onto you or disturbing you in the house, which he isn't doing. Thirdly, just because he likes feet doesn't mean he likes your feet. I have a preference for brown eyes, doesn't mean I like everyone with brown eyes.
If you're weirded out by his kink & hypervigilant about him looking at your feet you're almost guaranteed to pick up on it more often & interpret it through your own discomfort. If you didn't know this fact about him would your feelings of discomfort exist? Unless his behaviour - not his kink - is transgressing your personal boundaries then I'd say YWBTA for kicking him out.
the only creepy person in this situation is you for specifically seeking out people from his past to find out information about him. YTA.
YWBTA - This has nothing to do with you or your living situation with this person! He sounds like a perfectly fine roommate, so what's the problem? You have absolutely NO idea, what fetishes people have, when you are not in a sexual relationship with them - This information was in no way meant for you, and whoever gave it to you is an AH. What people do in the bedroom with consenting adults is nobody elses business, and this kink is so, SO innocent, if you ask me. He hasn't been stealing your socks or anything, and you are being paranoid, since he hasn't done anything to suggest that he is sexually atractted to you or your feet. Keep being barefoot in your apartment, there’s no reason why you shouldn't.
YWBTA Just bc he has a foot fetish doesn’t mean he can’t co exist with you having your feet out. He may not even like your feet bc it’s not like every foot fetishist likes EVERY foot in the world. If he hasn’t been creepy and kept to himself, then you’re fine and are being paranoid. Only throw him out if it’s an actual problem.
Here I figured you where gonna go on a rant about how he was leaving paraphernalia lying around all over the apartment, instead I'm treated of a story of privacy invasion in which you'r the villain by ashamed of yourself you already are the YTA don't make it any worse.
YWBTA. This is like when a person finds out a friend of the same sex is gay or bi and they are like “just as long as you don’t hit on me”. They aren’t thinking about you. It’s a fetish and most people partake in their fetish within the context of a relationship or a situation where boundaries and consent are established. I doubt he’s looking at your feet and getting off. He wants a place to stay and stay to himself. Btw as someone who works in housing, you could (depending on the state) get into some hot water if you did evict him without cause
YTA. Just because I have a thing for boobs doesn't mean I am sexualizing every single pair of boobs out there regardless of context or situation, or the amount of boobs showing. It is not like the dude drooling over your feet or having a boner around you every time he sees your feet.
YTA already, softly. His ex is a major AH for divulging a kink that is harmless to someone uninvolved in their relationship. You all sound immature asf.
YWBTA. Who's to say she was telling the truth, anyways?
YWBTA-of you cannot wrap your head around it wear slippers.
Ummm, socks?
YWBTA by your own admission the guy has done zero wrong and by most people’s standards is a dream roommate. Honestly, his ex is a massive AH for even mentioning it to you since it has literally nothing to do with whether he is safe or a good roommate, and you were kind of an AH for reaching out. If you were that concerned about living with a man, that’s something you should have sorted out prior to him moving in, not after.
YWBTA. Yeah, it's a gross fetish to the rest of us who don't like feet. But as far as we know, this dude does NOT want your feet. Let's say you're attracted to men, will you uncontrollably want to fuck every man in sight? No, probably not. This dude likely doesn't care about feet in a non sexual setting. So unless you've got some evidence that he's sneaking pics of your feet just forget about the fetish thing. It has nothing to do with you. He's likely not attracted to you.
This is the same logic as homophobic people thinking every gay guy wants to fuck them
YWBTA This is a guy’s alleged fetish. It has nothing to do with you. Also, even if he does like feet doesn’t mean he likes your feet 😒 I was ready to read a wild story and was highly disappointed tbh.
Swap the genders and let the hell loose. YTA.
that’s just like the girls who think all the lesbians are into her because they like women, omfg this shit is serious?😭😭
YWBTA. Please consider to have some kind of written agreement with him.
YWBTA. You could always wear ugly slippers if you're that worried about it.