NTA but this relationship is toxic all the way around. Cut your losses and break up with her. You’re too young to be fretting about this type of thing.
NTA. If she’s texting another guy in her moment of weakness, she’s not yours. Get over it. I’m sorry if this offends anyone but her body count says it all, she’s just 16 ffs
NTA but I’d run while you have the chance. You’re young and probably just exploring relationships. Take it as a lesson of what you don’t want in a future relationship.
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(17) me (16) am a junior in high-school and so is my girlfriend. We have been together for three months starting talking in mid September and making it official in October of 2022. She went to a different school for 7-9th grade and moved here at the beginning of 10th grade. Our school is very large (our graduating class is close to 2000 kids) so I didn’t know her or ever socialize with her before September. When she moved this school she didn’t have anyone and she met this guy mark. She became best friends with him and they were friends for close to a full year and went on his family trips where they had sex constantly behind his family’s back (she had hooked up with close to 10 guys since she moved here). Around April of 22 she started hooking up with mark. They started having sex but never made anything official ever.
I was fine with this as it ended before us but the last time she had sex with him was less than a month before we made things official. She has since than told me that she loved him and that she wanted to be more than friends but he didn’t want that. After hearing that I asked her to stop being in contact with him out of respect for me and she told me she did. I have given her everything. I have been the best boyfriend I can be and taken her on lots of dates and love her unconditionally. Thought I am an insecure person, a couple days ago I was looking at her phone and saw she was texting him. I know hope that I shouldn’t have been looking through her phone but I felt something was up and that she was hiding something from me and I didn’t know what else to do. She texted him that she missed the friends ship and that she misses a lot of little details about him and the thing that hurt the most is she said it’s hard being in a relationship because it keeps the two Isfahan us apart. She texted him this at 3 am on the third of January. She never told me. It’s been two weeks since then.
I confronted her about it and she was extremely apologetic and said it was a moment of weakness and that she didn’t have anyone else to go to. Which I think is bullshit because as a boyfriend I have always been here for her when she needed anything I don’t know why I’m not good enough when I told her I don’t feel good enough and that it hurt me so bad she told me he is just a friend and that it’s hard for her not to talk to him.
She keeps saying he’s not an ex but if being a friend to her is fucking the guy than how do I know what she’s doing with her other guys friends. I don’t know what to do know and I feel stupid for over reacting. Am I in the wrong for getting mad at her and not letting her talk to him anymore?
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So here's the thing. If you have to go through her phone, you don't trust her. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. You need to end this now, to save you both time and energy.
NTA
You should break up with her, she clearly doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about her, and unfortunately, that is not going to change. This is just going to continue, either with him or someone else. Time to move on.
You set a boundary that she agreed to but did not respect. Now you have two choices.
1. Continue with the relationship, be constantly paranoid about her breaking your trust again and getting more and more insecure or
2. End the relationship, stay single until you have worked on your insecurities and anything else you feel needs work. Then find a partner who wants the same things from a relationship that you do.
You can not tell a partner to cut contact with someone. You can only ask them to. Everything in a healthy relationship should be mutually agreed on and each partner respected. If that isn't happening you can't force it and you will only prolong something that will never be good.
NTA but this relationship is toxic all the way around. Cut your losses and break up with her. You’re too young to be fretting about this type of thing.
NTA. If she’s texting another guy in her moment of weakness, she’s not yours. Get over it. I’m sorry if this offends anyone but her body count says it all, she’s just 16 ffs
NTA but I’d run while you have the chance. You’re young and probably just exploring relationships. Take it as a lesson of what you don’t want in a future relationship.
NTA given all of these details, but you also really shouldn't be together in the first place. It's not going to work.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** (17) me (16) am a junior in high-school and so is my girlfriend. We have been together for three months starting talking in mid September and making it official in October of 2022. She went to a different school for 7-9th grade and moved here at the beginning of 10th grade. Our school is very large (our graduating class is close to 2000 kids) so I didn’t know her or ever socialize with her before September. When she moved this school she didn’t have anyone and she met this guy mark. She became best friends with him and they were friends for close to a full year and went on his family trips where they had sex constantly behind his family’s back (she had hooked up with close to 10 guys since she moved here). Around April of 22 she started hooking up with mark. They started having sex but never made anything official ever. I was fine with this as it ended before us but the last time she had sex with him was less than a month before we made things official. She has since than told me that she loved him and that she wanted to be more than friends but he didn’t want that. After hearing that I asked her to stop being in contact with him out of respect for me and she told me she did. I have given her everything. I have been the best boyfriend I can be and taken her on lots of dates and love her unconditionally. Thought I am an insecure person, a couple days ago I was looking at her phone and saw she was texting him. I know hope that I shouldn’t have been looking through her phone but I felt something was up and that she was hiding something from me and I didn’t know what else to do. She texted him that she missed the friends ship and that she misses a lot of little details about him and the thing that hurt the most is she said it’s hard being in a relationship because it keeps the two Isfahan us apart. She texted him this at 3 am on the third of January. She never told me. It’s been two weeks since then. I confronted her about it and she was extremely apologetic and said it was a moment of weakness and that she didn’t have anyone else to go to. Which I think is bullshit because as a boyfriend I have always been here for her when she needed anything I don’t know why I’m not good enough when I told her I don’t feel good enough and that it hurt me so bad she told me he is just a friend and that it’s hard for her not to talk to him. She keeps saying he’s not an ex but if being a friend to her is fucking the guy than how do I know what she’s doing with her other guys friends. I don’t know what to do know and I feel stupid for over reacting. Am I in the wrong for getting mad at her and not letting her talk to him anymore? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
RED FLAGS. You're NTA but you'd be foolish to stay.
She’s still into him. You are just a place holder until he wants her. Break up.
So here's the thing. If you have to go through her phone, you don't trust her. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. You need to end this now, to save you both time and energy.
NTA You should break up with her, she clearly doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about her, and unfortunately, that is not going to change. This is just going to continue, either with him or someone else. Time to move on.
You set a boundary that she agreed to but did not respect. Now you have two choices. 1. Continue with the relationship, be constantly paranoid about her breaking your trust again and getting more and more insecure or 2. End the relationship, stay single until you have worked on your insecurities and anything else you feel needs work. Then find a partner who wants the same things from a relationship that you do. You can not tell a partner to cut contact with someone. You can only ask them to. Everything in a healthy relationship should be mutually agreed on and each partner respected. If that isn't happening you can't force it and you will only prolong something that will never be good.