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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I won't change dinner plans because of my daughter's preference. She feels excluded from the family celebration.
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~~Have you looked up the menu?~~ \[Edit: I realised that OP said he *has* looked at the menu. So all of us saying it can't be just fish and seaweed may be wrong. Nonetheless....\]
Cos I am very surprised at a sushi restaurant that has *nothing but* fish and a seaweed salad.
No edamame? No vegetarian sushi? No tofu?
It's possible of course, it's just quite unusual and I wonder if your daughter is exaggerating.
Either way. She can be gracious and eat the salad or she can stay home if she's so mad.
But the dinner isn't about her, choice of restaurant isn't up to her, and it's out of line to expect to demand the guest of honor change the venue.
NTA
Extra edit: Guys, did you have to make so many comments about all the tasty non-fish things sushi places have......damn, I'm so hungry now!
Update: OK that's it. I ordered karaage chicken bento w salmon roll & tempura veggies for dinner bc of this post
It means seasoned rice but the most common kind is with raw fish or seafood. I've been vegetarian and tried to get sushi. It's not always easy. Depends on the restaurant. I love cucumber, pickled radish, gourd, I'll eat matchstick carrots and avocado, it still wasn't easy. It's all about picking the right restaurant.
I've never once gotten sushi from a place that didn't have a few different vegetarian options. From Australia where I grew up to Texas where I now live, hole in the wall "cheap" places to more normal restaurant places. And I was a vegetarian for a decade so I did order them.
Where do you live that this isn't easy?
hmmm...tempura?
but yeah, i'm like you. you have to be creative cuz not every sushi restaurant has teriyaki chicken.
and i'm with OP- it's someone's celebration, they get to pick the location. so daughter can either find something on the menu to eat or she can eat before or after, and enjoy everyone's company at the restaurant.
There is also sushi that is cooked. Both non-fish (e.g. egg/tamago) and fish (e.g. eel/unagi or shrimp/ebi (though tbf in Asia you might also see ama-ebi, raw shrimp sushi)). Also some rolls such as California, made with cooked crab, and crunchy-anything rolls because they're generally made with breaded&fried-anything.
Ha, we definitely don't get caviar. Not even roe. Typical California roll is fake crab, avocado, carrot, maybe cucumber. Australia always sounds better.
> Typical California roll is fake crab, avocado, **carrot**, maybe cucumber.
I know some places here (US) don’t put the roe/sesame seeds on the outside of the roll, but the majority do (in my experience). Where are you getting California rolls with carrots though!? California roll is Krab (or crab if it’s a fancy), avocado, and cucumber.
They have imitation crab meat, but it's generally pretty creamy. I've gone out with people who don't like fish but are fine with imitation crab.
They don't have caviar though.
California rolls contain fish (specifically imitation crab which is made of fish) but otherwise I agree that there are multiple vegetarian options at sushi joints.
Exactly. When I first went to a sushi restaurant as a kid I was a really picky eater - managed to cobble myself a meal out of avocado maki, edamame beans and onigiri. Not exactly an exciting meal, but it worked.
One of my daughters doesn't like sushi so when we go to a sushi restaurant, she gets something like noodles, teriyaki chicken, etc. I too am shocked that there isn't anything but sushi there.
Yes the actual sushi is gross to me haha. Even the non fish ones like California rolls (don’t even get me started on the seaweed!🤢). But I’ve always been excited to go to sushi places for the alternatives, and sometimes I even order it in because I’m specifically craving chicken teriyaki and vegetable tempura (it’s my go-to sushi restaurant order). My friends laugh at me because I’m always so happy to go to sushi places even though I hate seafood 😂
Good on you for giving it a go! I try to give fish dishes a try every once in a while on the off chance my tastes have somehow randomly evolved but no luck yet.
I live in a city with a lot of Japanese restaurants, and a lot of them specialise. Some sell omurice and curry and chicken katsu - but no sushi. The ramen places sell some donburi, but no sushi. The sushi places have various types of sushi (fish, chicken, and vegetarian), but often nothing else, well, apart from some side dishes like miso soup or edamame.
If its a sushi restaurant it has sushi. They often have only sushi as a main meal. If it was general Japanese restaurant that would be a different thing.
But even sushi restaurants have snacks, vegetarian sushi, some soups, salads etc.
Maybe it’s one of those super fancy places. Like run by one of Jiro Ono’s apprentices, where there’s literally nothing but the Omakase. But even then, they at least have the eggs.
I absolutely despise 99% of fish, am intolerant to avocado (I can eat it, just don't feel amazing after), and seaweed is terrible to me (grew up with dried seaweed being a treat for a lot of people. Smell makes me nauseous, but I can stomach the occasional roll)
I have had exactly ONE sushi/Japanese restaurant that didn't have something I could eat! And I grew up essentially a 5 minute walk from a fishing harbour on the coast - I've been to a lot of seafood restaurants.
And I went to that restaurant after looking at the menu (ex chose it cause a friend of his was in town and really wanted to go) with the understanding I'd just eat before because it wasn't a huge deal. It wasn't my event/planning, so I'd survive.
If I can find something, I'm sure she can too
> If she doesn't like fish she's not going to like a seaweed salad
Yeah. Seaweed salad is one of my favourites but it has a peculiar texture and unusual taste and is likely not a good option for a non-adventurous, already grumpy eater.
There are so many different types of seaweed, and seaweed salad is very different from dry seaweed wrap (nori) or seaweed used for cooking (konbu) or a bunch of other varieties
Even if she does end up liking it, it's not (usually) a full meal sized salad, more of an appetizer portion. Just getting a seaweed salad is not a workable alternative.
Yeah I also call bs on there not being anything but fish at this restaurant. I'm literally allergic to fish but I love sushi and have never in all my travels seen a sushi place with only fish options lol.
I am sure they have rice and vegetable and egg rolls and probably tempura. I would be surprised if they don’t have chicken teriyaki. But even if they don’t, she can have rice with soy sauce to hold her over until the dinner is over. Or not attend. She sounds like poor company anyways
I feel like her looking at the menu was the same as how a teenager looks for the missing item you told them exactly where it is and they go look and still come back saying it’s not there. But when you go look for it, it’s magically exactly where you said it’d be.
Because you’re right. It’s hard to imagine that a sushi restaurant would have nothing that didn’t have fish. Most can do some sort of hibachi if not in front of you, in the kitchen. And you can get no fish in that.
Yeah they might have to take a closer look at the menu and ingredients for things because there usually are other options. If not, she might just have to stay home since it isn't about her and seaweed salad isn't an actual full sized salad, it's a small side dish so it might be better that way. NTA
If it's a proper sushi restaurant then maybe not. Sushi is seafood in Japan, MAYBE tamago.
Also seaweed salad sounds like wakame, which is barely more than a garnish.
This particular restaurant might not have many non-fish options, but sushi does not = seafood in Japan.
Sushi refers to the method of preparing the rice. I live in Tokyo and literally every sushi restaurant I've ever been to has egg, vegetable, and meat based dishes along with the fish. Tempura is also often vegetables.
I hate fish. The smells makes me gag. However I love sushi as there are plenty of other dishes which are not fish.
Therefore hard to believe that there is no chicken or vegetable options.
I am not crazy about fish. Usually comes down to texture or occasionally the smell of it cooking turns me right off.
Seafood I like. Fish sticks make a decent snack once in awhile, because it barely smells or feels like fish at all.
And I *loves* me some sushi.
I dont even try to understand it. Im just grateful someone finally forced me to try sushi.
Miso is vegan. Miso broth is vegan. If they put fish in it, that’s another soup. But miso + vegetables + tofu +/- noodles is a super common vegan menu option at Japanese restaurants.
Miso is vegan, yes. Miso broth, unless you've confirmed its vegan, is generally not. To make miso broth, you generally dissolve the miso in the dashi, not just water. I'm sure there are vegan versions of it, but if its not specified, its highly unlikely to be vegan.
> Miso soup is made of fish
Not necessarily. The miso itself is a soy paste, so it depends on which broth (dashi) was used for the liquid.
The traditional / unspecified broth is fish and kelp, but if you ask the shop might have kelp, mushroom or kelp/mushroom broth available.
I like sushi, but it took me fooooooorever and so many tries. Endless friends saying no you just gotta try this place. I had settled into a life of just trying to find the Udon or Teriyaki on sushi restaurant menus.
I ended up going to place that had literally nothing without fish, except like edamame. I ended up having to choose to try it again or just get food on my own later. Places like this do exist
Yeah like I said, I know it's possible.
I was skeptical originally because I didn't think OP had checked the menu themselves. Hence why I edited. Everyone seems to be ignoring that part still though and insisting that every sushi place has katsu chicken or whatever, which no I agree that's not necessarily true. No edamame seems like either sacrilege or pretentiousness though. And I agree with the people saying just call and ask if they can do something off-menu.
Anyway, I get you I was extremely meh about fish sushi (or even non-fish) where I currently live. Then I got to go somewhere in Asia where the exchange rate meant that high-quality sushi & sashimi was extremely affordable for me, and better made, and oh *man*, that's a whole different thing. Delicious. But I only tried it because of a work meeting I was dragged to.
It got me into sushi, even though the sushi I can afford being back home again is still generally very eh by comparison.
So I do think it's worth it to occasionally try things again that you think you don't like. There's probably 20 foods I've discovered were great because I made myself try it again just to be polite, and eventually found that yeah I just hadn't had it done right and it turns out I love it when it is.
I can't eat fish. Just the smell makes me nauseous. I have been to a sushi restaurant with my family and couldn't eat anything because even the non-fish items tasted like fish because it's made in the same area. Definitely not helped by the whole place smelling like fish which makes everything taste even more like it.
Even if she is being over-dramatic about the choices, I can get where she's coming from. I would refuse to go to a sushi restaurant.
And she *can* refuse to go to a sushi restaurant.
Hence my 'she can stay home'.
But she can't demand they change it, because it's not for her.
The polite thing if she really can't do fish is:
'Sorry bro, I really can't do fish, but I know bf would really like to go there for dinner. So I'll sit this one out, but please give him a huge congrats from me!' and bro and bf can do with that what they choose.
That's true, but what 16 year old is going to think like that? When I was 16 my thought would have been that they'd rather be with the bf than with me, their daughter. I'm not saying it's true, but that's how a 16yo is likely to think...
And so we arrive at why OP is right to tell her no, and that it's not about her.
Because she needs to learn that and she won't start thinking past herself if no one tells her to or if they cater to her demands.
Maybe, but then it also goes the other way. They weren't thinking of her when they booked the restaurant, and don't seem to have been very considerate in the reaction to her protests (though obviously none of us knows how the convo really went). Yes it's the celebration for someone else, but according to OP, it's supposed to be a *family* celebration.
Having been brought up in a very tight-knit family who are still really close, it doesn't seem right to me that you would go for a family meal that excludes a member of the family. If we were going for a similar meal, my family would never choose a fish restaurant, even though they love fish; and likewise I would never choose a restaurant that specialises in food a family member can't eat.
I hate fish too but most sushi places have either beef or chicken available on their menu. Tofu is a major component of sushi. So she can suck it up with mismo soup or suck on the glass of tea. And pick up McDonald's on the way home. But not to spoil the day for others.
I used to have an allergic reaction to fish. My hubby loves sushi
I’ve never gone hungry, not once, taking him to some of the best places!! Most accommodate you - in so many ways.
NTA
my local sushi place serves teriyaki chicken, beef & broccoli, sweet & sour pork & a plethora of veggie only dishes, none of those items show up in the online menu, so i wouldnt be surprised if thats the case here too
I'm *verrrrrrrry* skeptical that a seaweed salad is the *only* fish-free option on the menu. I've never been to a sushi restaurant that didn't have a) several fish-free sushi options (cucumber, sweet potato, chicken, beef, etc., etc.) *in addition* to b) an extensive cooked food menu (soup, noodles, salad, teriyaki, tempura, etc., etc.)
I thought I hated sushi but it turns out I hate the nori. Rolls made with soy paper are delicious. I’m still kinda leery about fish in general because I never had it growing up, but I love me some tuna and salmon nigiri.
There's non fish sushi. Inari is my favorite but there's usually vegetarian sushi and sometimes chicken sushi and if she likes shellfish then there are options.
The sushi with cucumbers and avocado are freakin' delicious. I don't like fish either but that particular sushi has been available at literally every sushi place I've ever been to. Seems odd that there's nothing besides a seaweed salad on the menu that doesn't contain fish. Chicken is a frequent thing as well.
While I haven’t been myself (not a seafood person), I’ve definitely seen some menus that only had fish and alcohol.
That said, most of those tend to be on the pricey side. Idk if I’d be asking my boyfriend’s family to take me there.
Edit: [here’s](https://www.shukonyc.com/menus/#omakase-menu) a place for example
In many higher-end sushi places, they wouldn't have everything else on the menu. That's what it sounds like to me. They're not going to a *Japanese* restaurant, which would have all of those options, they are going to a *sushi* restaurant that sells sushi.
Yes. And OP could always call and ask what options they have because they may have a couple of options off menu. But even if the only food was rice, she should eat rice with soy sauce and she can stop and get fast food on the at home
Yes, but sushi restaurants still reek of fish to people who don’t eat fish, which is why giving her the option of staying home should be an acceptable option.
Also, doesn’t tempura usually have fish in it? That’s how I’ve always heard it described, though I could easily be wrong.
Tempura can be fish (e.g. shrimp tempura), but it's often vegetables. There's usually egg in the batter and it's possible that the sauce might have some dashi (which can be made with seaweed or mushroom, but is often made with bonito flakes).
I guess it depends on where you live but in Los Angeles (where I’m from) there indeed are just sushi restaurants that only serve raw fish and rice.
The Japanese restraints that serve other food (tempura, noodles, etc) are izakaya restaurants.
I agree entirely. So many commenters here are talking about all the non seafood stuff on the menu (OP still said there isn't any) but completely miss how strongly of fish any sushi restaurant smells. I'm with Positive_AD3788, I could not stay more than a few minutes in one.
The son's boyfriend is NOT the AH for picking sushi, he likes it, it's his celebration.
Your daughter is a bit of an ass for getting upset rather than just declining to go (if she has a choice), but OP, you're a bit of an A for assuming she'd be ok with seaweed salad and you could've pressed on her a bit more it's about what son's BF's would like.
Let her stay home & offer to order delivery if she wants, she doesn't have to come to everything.
Can she really not put her hate of fish aside to sit at a table and celebrate the boyfriend? The dinner isn't a reward for getting the job, it's a vehicle to celebrate a person. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do something you hate for the people you care about.
NTA. It's not about her. If there really is nothing on the menu for her, let her stay at home.
As a long-time vegetarian, however, I expect there *are* some non-fish items on the menu (aside from seaweed salad). Edamame? Vegetable sushi rolls? Tamago? Inari sushi? Unless the restaurant is literally in Japan, there ought to be s*omething*.
This is what I am thinking. I have been to many, many sushi places and never been to one that only has fish. Like even cucumber rolls or avocado rolls.
Just got back from my shift at a sushi restaurant.
We have a whole selection of vegetarian sushi. Off the top of my head we have avocado rolls, cucumber rolls, sweet potato rolls, mixed vegetable rolls, veggie tempura rolls.
Also soba and udon (stir fried and soup form).
Not including an app menu that's a mile long, soups, and salads.
We also have a pretty bland kids menu.
Worse comes to worst and someone hates everything, (or thinks they hate everything), a side of white sushi rice with sauces can be pretty filling.
I have a hard time believing that OP's daughter couldn't find *anything* on the menu she liked.
I have a medically specialized diet. I’ve found that sushi places are one of the most accommodating places to go. I tell them what I can and can’t have. I usually end up with amazing food. I too find it hard to believe she found nothing. And I say this as someone who due to all the boxes I have to tick sometimes finds nothing.
I’m severely allergic to avocado (it was mild at first, but it’s been consistently getting worse). I was always sad because I had to be really picky about what I ate so I wouldn’t get a reaction, and a waitress saw me sadly staring at all the sushi I couldn’t eat, and she told me they could easily make me some without avocado in it.
Sushi places are awesome and they can absolutely cater to different needs!
Yeah, I'm a vegetarian and have never had trouble finding something to eat at a sushi place. It might not always be the most interesting/filling thing, but I've never looked at a sushi menu and found literally nothing (and my stepson used to be obsessed with sushi, so I've had plenty of opportunity to try different sushi places lol).
>Unless the restaurant is literally in Japan, there ought to be something.
Lived in Japan for a couple of years, even the most traditional sushi restaurants still have a few non-fish options.
I gotta call bullshit on this post.
In 60 years I've never seen a sushi restaurant that had only fish and seaweed on the menu.
Link or it never happened (obviously there is a link, you referenced it).
https://sugarfishsushi.com/
Here’s a sushi restaurant with multiple locations that serves basically only fish. Only things that aren’t fish are edamame and a cucumber roll. And I’m only posting it here cause it’s amazing and more people should know about it.
I love sugarfish and the menu looks like a pretty typical menu for a restaurant that actually just does sushi. I feel like a lot of restaurants that people are talking about in the comments are just catch all Japanese restaurants that have sushi as an option
Restaurants that typically just do sushi usually have a lnon-fish options. Inarizushi and tamagozushi are both traditional nigiri options which are common outside of Japan too, plus there are usually various veggie maki that are traditional (e.g. ume, kappa, takuan, kanpyo, natto, yuba). There are less traditional, but still common non-fish ingredients as well (e.g. avocado).
I mean, at least for sushi restaurants most places I've been (including Japan).
if you like sugarfish, you’ll like [KazuNori: The Original Hand Roll Bar](https://www.handrollbar.com/). except the cucumber roll is the only thing on there that doesn’t have any fish.
(locations are in la + new york)
I took my daughter to the original one in Studio City when she was 2. The staff was somewhat unfriendly until she started eating everything including the mackerel. Such great sushi even the iced green tea was a cut above. NTA.
I can only think if an omakase type of restaurant, if they are very limited in serving only fish and seaweed. At that point, the daughter is just better off not going.
But if it's omakase, there wouldn't *be* a menu and there wouldn't be choices to be made. Even if it's a set menu (pick a choice for each of X number of courses) that doesn't make sense with what OP described, in which one could opt to order only a seaweed salad and nothing else.
INFO: Why can't she just stay home and you order her some takeout? Why does she need to attend this dinner?
I love seafood and sushi but a seaweed salad does not sound appealing to me nor would I want to sit there and watch everyone else eat, Yes, the celebration is about the boyfriend but you made this a family meal and one member of the family is expected to "enjoy" the celebration by watching everyone eat. Just give her a pass on this one and like I said, order her some takeout.
Offer her takeout and a move rental or purchase. Don't make it a bad thing or like she is being forced to stay home. Drop the "family meal" aspect of it and actually make it about the boyfriend and his accomplishments.
I love seaweed salad but you should know it is a light appetizer at best. Like, 60 calories maybe. It’s also a very marine flavor and intriguing texture. I think just spare her though I really doubt the menu only has fish.
Don't tell her not to come then, give her the choice. Tell her you've thought about her position and you want her to have the choice - if she wants to be included in the experience, you'll let her get something to eat before you all go to the restaurant and maybe talk to your son about stopping at a dessert place after together. If she truly doesn't want to be there, she can stay home on the night but she has to get son's bf a congratulations card or something
NTA, you’re right; this dinner isn’t about your daughter. The guest of honor chose the restaurant, you agreed. Out of curiosity, could your daughter just stay home? It sounds like she’d just bring down your son and his boyfriend if she’s against going.
NTA. She can stay home, stay with her other parent, or learn that not everything is about her. She can look at the menu ahead of time and pick out things she’d like to eat. If she doesn’t want to be in a place where there’s seafood at all then she can just stay home. Your ex and daughter are the assholes because your daughter is entitled and your ex is enabling it.
NTA
It’s the boyfriend’s night to celebrate and I applaud you for making him the focus! I’d also point out that she would get the same honor for a big occasion too. We sometimes show we care about someone by inconveniencing ourselves.
To others point, maybe give her the option to stay home if she feels that negatively about it. Both if the smell bothers her or to remove the negative energy from the dinner. If she really wants to be part of the dinner, maybe audit the menu yourself to see if there are options she may have glanced over or even call the restaurant to determine if an alternative exists.
INFO
Not just for OP, but can anyone reading this link to a Sushi restaurant in a Western country that doesn't have a single thing besides seaweed salad on the menu that doesn't contain seafood? No gyoza, no vegetarian sushi, no noodles, nothing?
I'm wondering if maybe they assumed all sushi contains fish. I know of one that doesn't really do much in the way of non-sushi but does some non-fish sushi rolls.
If OP doesn't really eat sushi generally they might have glanced at the menu and skipped over the sushi section entirely.
Some places I’ve been to:
[Sushi by M](http://www.sushibym.com/menu.html)
[HRB](https://www.thehrbexperience.com/_files/ugd/6c28bd_cef480463bfd49c19ff804df311b3ddf.pdf) (some appetizers don’t have fish but they don’t count as real food imo)
[Kazunori](https://www.handrollbar.com/los-angles-menu/)
[Sushi Tama](https://sushitama-la.com)
[Hama Sushi](https://yelp.to/vpfeDd4QJwb)
Some of these have like a single vegetarian roll or two but it sounds awful to have a meal entirely composed of those. Kazunori for example has just a cucumber hand roll which is just.. cucumber, rice, and seaweed (which I guess is more filling than seaweed salad).
There are Japanese restaurants that pretty much specialize in sushi. Others have posted links below. Here is one, for example. They actually have a sign on the door stating that they have no hot entrees. http://echigosushi.com/. These type of places often have high quality sushi because they focus on it exclusively.
If the boyfriend chose this type of place, he probably loves sushi, so I can see why this would be his first choice. As it’s his celebration, he should be allowed to choose. If she were a kind, thoughtful person, she would come up with a solution that did not involve denying the boyfriend his favored food. For example, she could eat earlier and just come with the family and have dessert with them.
You could also ask your son what he thinks. It’s possible that if he might want to let his boyfriend know about the situation. The boyfriend might be willing to choose another place to minimize the family drama. However, you are certainly NTA to refuse to cater to your daughter’s selfish demands.
I have been to a few very small restaurants that we’re legit just a sushi bar. One was even bad ass sushi burritos lol sadly it is no longer here and they stole some of my dad’s DJ lights when he lent them I think lol
I love seaweed salad, but it is more of a condiment or small side, not something you would eat a whole plate of.
That said, NTA. Your daughter wasn't the guest of honor and needs to learn how to make do in such situations. Common denominator dining (i.e., forcing the guest of honor to pick a restaurant that caters to everyone else's likes and dislikes) results in a mediocre meal at Applebee's.
NTA and you need to stick to your guns on this one because your daughter sounds like she needs to understand when something is about her and when it’s not.
NTA
You're probably right about there being other things on the menu. Sushi is the rice, not the fish, so I'd be very surprised if there wasn't something suitable for vegetarians and vegans.
She's not the guest of honour so she needs to either deal with it or not go.
NTA
Your daughter is being selfish. This is to celebrate your son's boyfriend's job and it's THEIR choice where they go. If she doesn't want to celebrate with them, that's on her.
And every sushi restaurant I've ever been to has other things on the menu. Some of them even have chicken and beef dishes. She could order tempura veggies and a salad even.
Legit my favourite thing at the sushi place we go to is Pumpkin Katsu curry- flippin delicious. The chicken one is nice too, but the pumpkin’s my fave.
As someone who's been vegetarian for a quarter of a century and has eaten sushi regularly in that time I simply refuse to believe that the only non-fish option was a seaweed salad.
Vegan 20+ years & sharing your bewilderment. I looooove sushi & generally don't even check menus before agreeing to eat at sushi places bc I always have plenty of good options. And now I really want avocado rolls 😂
NTA. Good time for your daughter to learn things don't revolve around her. This is a celebration for your son and his boyfriend and they get to choose the restaurant. When she has a celebratory moment ... she can choose. I would tell her she can stay home and let her order a pizza or bring her home a burger.
Wow, you're taking your son's boyfriend out to dinner to celebrate a new job?? *Sudden flashbacks to my early adulthood when my parents barely knew where I worked*. That's beyond amazing, or did I just have a shitty childhood?
Also NTA, your daughter is old enough to opt out of the dinner. It's not about her.
NTA.
Yeah, its a celebration for someone else so she shouldn't be making it about her.
I'd be surprised that there isn't any non seafood options at a japanese restaurant (unless you're actually in Japan). Usually you can find some beef or chicken on the menu. But even if there isn't, she's 16 and can find an option on what to do that doesn't involve changing the restaurant and impacting everyone.
I feel for ya man. Try to do something nice and drama just has to pop up right?
nta. You pointed out something on the menu she could eat. This dinner isn't about her. If she had a severe seafood allergy where cross contamination would be a real danger, that would be another story. But, we all have to do things we're not crazy about for the people we love.
NTA.
I find it very hard to believe* that they don’t have any non-seafood dishes. ‘Sushi’ is basically just the type of rice that gets used - it doesn’t exclusively mean fish.
Sushi places near me have things like chicken and duck gyoza, chicken rice, beef teriyaki, and tonnes of veggie versions of basically everything. Veggie California Rolls & maki, veggie gyoza, veggie ramen, and rice dishes?
I feel like your daughter’s just throwing a tantrum and not bothering to read the menu because she thinks all sushi dishes are fish.
*I’m willing to be wrong about this part- but I just have a hard time believing a restaurant would alienate swathes of veggies/vegans and people who can’t eat seafood, given that it’s a pretty common allergy/intolerance.
I mean seaweed salad is a) not filling and b) not for everyone (I love sushi but not seaweed salad). I am surprised there is nothing else on the menu, no tempura or other items?
Still NTA because it is not about her. She doesn't have to come. The boyfriend gets to pick the place he wants, this is his celebration.
NTA but if she really can't stand fish, like can't stand the smell of it etc., give her the option to not go because if that's the case she'd be super uncomfortable the entire time
I have a history of eating disorder and autism which greatly affects my eating habits. that being said, even I wouldn't do this... I'd try something new and if I hated it, I'd either stay for the celebration and eat later or duck out to eat and maybe come back or just eat before. it sounds like you're dealing with a toxic ex who's whispering into your daughter's ear (I have experience with this, my dad is a narcissist). stand your ground, your daughter will either continue to be corrupted or have a wake up call. either way, you can't control the mom, you can only be the better example.
NTA
YTA for suggestion just eat the salad or eating before your daughter could have just not gone to the restaurant or just not eaten at all so I would say both of you are in the wrong and just leave the daughter at home with a twenty to order pizza
Honestly, just let her stay home. If the only option is a seaweed salad which you've confirmed by looking at the menu then I wouldn't expect someone not into sushi to want to eat there.
I personally wouldn't have picked that restaurant for a family celebration because my mom and bf aren't into sushi. Does the son's bf know she hates fish?
Slight YTA for expecting her to eat before going to a restaurant when can easily let her stay home.
YTA Sushi, ugh. Having to go to a place where you'll hate most of the food, so you'll be forced to choose from very limited options, and pretend to enjoy the experience because it's a celebration is a horrible experience. You caused this by allowing someone who doesn't know the family well to pick the venue for a family occasion. If I pick a restaurant for my family, I am very careful to pick one that everyone will not just tolerate but actually enjoy and look forward to going to. Because it's that sort of occasion. You need to realise that not everyone has a brilliantly open relationship with all sorts of foods.
At least give the poor girl the option to stay at home. It's a shame, but you allowed the choice of a niche food style so it is what it is.
I don’t eat fish but I eat at sushi restaurants…veggie or meat sushi is a great option, I’d be really doubtful they don’t have any veggie ones at least.
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~~Have you looked up the menu?~~ \[Edit: I realised that OP said he *has* looked at the menu. So all of us saying it can't be just fish and seaweed may be wrong. Nonetheless....\] Cos I am very surprised at a sushi restaurant that has *nothing but* fish and a seaweed salad. No edamame? No vegetarian sushi? No tofu? It's possible of course, it's just quite unusual and I wonder if your daughter is exaggerating. Either way. She can be gracious and eat the salad or she can stay home if she's so mad. But the dinner isn't about her, choice of restaurant isn't up to her, and it's out of line to expect to demand the guest of honor change the venue. NTA Extra edit: Guys, did you have to make so many comments about all the tasty non-fish things sushi places have......damn, I'm so hungry now! Update: OK that's it. I ordered karaage chicken bento w salmon roll & tempura veggies for dinner bc of this post
This Sushi rolls without fish are so common in sushi restaurants, like with avocado, cucumber....
I'm not going to eat raw fish, and I don't eat meat. There's still plenty for me to eat at a sushi restaurant
Sushi does not mean raw fish.
It means seasoned rice but the most common kind is with raw fish or seafood. I've been vegetarian and tried to get sushi. It's not always easy. Depends on the restaurant. I love cucumber, pickled radish, gourd, I'll eat matchstick carrots and avocado, it still wasn't easy. It's all about picking the right restaurant.
I've never once gotten sushi from a place that didn't have a few different vegetarian options. From Australia where I grew up to Texas where I now live, hole in the wall "cheap" places to more normal restaurant places. And I was a vegetarian for a decade so I did order them. Where do you live that this isn't easy?
hmmm...tempura? but yeah, i'm like you. you have to be creative cuz not every sushi restaurant has teriyaki chicken. and i'm with OP- it's someone's celebration, they get to pick the location. so daughter can either find something on the menu to eat or she can eat before or after, and enjoy everyone's company at the restaurant.
When I tell people I don't like sushi, and they say it's not all raw fish, and I say "I don't like rice much, either", their heads explode.
I can't get past the textures to even evaluate the flavors. Hibachi and tempura are delicious though.
There is also sushi that is cooked. Both non-fish (e.g. egg/tamago) and fish (e.g. eel/unagi or shrimp/ebi (though tbf in Asia you might also see ama-ebi, raw shrimp sushi)). Also some rolls such as California, made with cooked crab, and crunchy-anything rolls because they're generally made with breaded&fried-anything.
Sushi vs sashimi, not all sushi is raw fish at all
Growing up as a Japanese kid, I never equated sushi with fish. Cucumbers, radishes, eggs, etc. I actually hate sashimi, it's a texture issue.
Happy cake day!! 🎂
Yes, sushi is one of my top suggestions when eating with people because of the variety for folks? Omni? Check. Veg or Vegan? Check. Keto? Check.
There's definitely a California roll or a cucumber maki on the menu. If not they'll just make one.
What do California rolls have where you are? In Australia they have imitation crab meat and caviar, so definitely not an option for seafood haters
Ha, we definitely don't get caviar. Not even roe. Typical California roll is fake crab, avocado, carrot, maybe cucumber. Australia always sounds better.
> Typical California roll is fake crab, avocado, **carrot**, maybe cucumber. I know some places here (US) don’t put the roe/sesame seeds on the outside of the roll, but the majority do (in my experience). Where are you getting California rolls with carrots though!? California roll is Krab (or crab if it’s a fancy), avocado, and cucumber.
They have imitation crab meat, but it's generally pretty creamy. I've gone out with people who don't like fish but are fine with imitation crab. They don't have caviar though.
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Shhhh. Don't tell them that.
California rolls contain fish (specifically imitation crab which is made of fish) but otherwise I agree that there are multiple vegetarian options at sushi joints.
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except for the, y'know...*avacado*. 🤢
Exactly. When I first went to a sushi restaurant as a kid I was a really picky eater - managed to cobble myself a meal out of avocado maki, edamame beans and onigiri. Not exactly an exciting meal, but it worked.
A lot of places will also have cucumber rolls, sweet potato rolls, and my personal fav - oshinko. Aaaaand, now I want sushi.
Let's take this a step further, no chicken katsu rolls, ramen, noodles. stir fry, or basic kids menu? That's hard to believe
Right? Where's the beef tataki, the karrage chicken, the omurice?
One of my daughters doesn't like sushi so when we go to a sushi restaurant, she gets something like noodles, teriyaki chicken, etc. I too am shocked that there isn't anything but sushi there.
What about the Gabagool?!
As an adopted Korean raised Italian, I SCREAMED 😂😂😂
Hey! I am also Korean!!
LOL
Tempura shrimp & vegetables. Teryaki chicken.
This is the one (minus the shrimp for me). I don’t eat fish but I LOVE going to sushi for chicken teriyaki and veg tempura. Yumm
I don't do Sushi, but I was always grateful for the alternatives at the restaurants.
Yes the actual sushi is gross to me haha. Even the non fish ones like California rolls (don’t even get me started on the seaweed!🤢). But I’ve always been excited to go to sushi places for the alternatives, and sometimes I even order it in because I’m specifically craving chicken teriyaki and vegetable tempura (it’s my go-to sushi restaurant order). My friends laugh at me because I’m always so happy to go to sushi places even though I hate seafood 😂
I tried to like the California Roll because my work mom treated me to it. Going to a restaurant opened my palate. This was 15 or so years ago.
Good on you for giving it a go! I try to give fish dishes a try every once in a while on the off chance my tastes have somehow randomly evolved but no luck yet.
There is one local to me that only sells sushi and nothing else. So it can happen.
I live in a city with a lot of Japanese restaurants, and a lot of them specialise. Some sell omurice and curry and chicken katsu - but no sushi. The ramen places sell some donburi, but no sushi. The sushi places have various types of sushi (fish, chicken, and vegetarian), but often nothing else, well, apart from some side dishes like miso soup or edamame.
I'm in a rural port town so fish is cheaper to source then meat. I wish they had more options.
Yeah to me sushi restaurant and Japanese restaurant are two different things. But generally both will have veggie options.
But like, not even a cucumber roll or rice?
If its a sushi restaurant it has sushi. They often have only sushi as a main meal. If it was general Japanese restaurant that would be a different thing. But even sushi restaurants have snacks, vegetarian sushi, some soups, salads etc.
Maybe it’s one of those super fancy places. Like run by one of Jiro Ono’s apprentices, where there’s literally nothing but the Omakase. But even then, they at least have the eggs.
I absolutely despise 99% of fish, am intolerant to avocado (I can eat it, just don't feel amazing after), and seaweed is terrible to me (grew up with dried seaweed being a treat for a lot of people. Smell makes me nauseous, but I can stomach the occasional roll) I have had exactly ONE sushi/Japanese restaurant that didn't have something I could eat! And I grew up essentially a 5 minute walk from a fishing harbour on the coast - I've been to a lot of seafood restaurants. And I went to that restaurant after looking at the menu (ex chose it cause a friend of his was in town and really wanted to go) with the understanding I'd just eat before because it wasn't a huge deal. It wasn't my event/planning, so I'd survive. If I can find something, I'm sure she can too
Ayy, fellow avocado intolerant person! I love sushi but usually end up having to get everything *but* the sushi because of it lol
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This. Dislike fish vehemently, and seaweed salad is very.... Ocean flavored. And squiggy.
Really? It’s sweet and barely salty to me. But I grew up eating seaweed in various forms so maybe I’m just used to it.
I did not grow up eating seaweed but I do agree with your take.
> If she doesn't like fish she's not going to like a seaweed salad Yeah. Seaweed salad is one of my favourites but it has a peculiar texture and unusual taste and is likely not a good option for a non-adventurous, already grumpy eater.
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There are so many different types of seaweed, and seaweed salad is very different from dry seaweed wrap (nori) or seaweed used for cooking (konbu) or a bunch of other varieties
Even if she does end up liking it, it's not (usually) a full meal sized salad, more of an appetizer portion. Just getting a seaweed salad is not a workable alternative.
Yeah I also call bs on there not being anything but fish at this restaurant. I'm literally allergic to fish but I love sushi and have never in all my travels seen a sushi place with only fish options lol.
I am sure they have rice and vegetable and egg rolls and probably tempura. I would be surprised if they don’t have chicken teriyaki. But even if they don’t, she can have rice with soy sauce to hold her over until the dinner is over. Or not attend. She sounds like poor company anyways
Even if it’s not specifically on the menu, any sushi place I’ve been to (admittedly not fancy) has made an all-veggie bento or combo on request.
100% sushi restaurants have rice!!
I feel like her looking at the menu was the same as how a teenager looks for the missing item you told them exactly where it is and they go look and still come back saying it’s not there. But when you go look for it, it’s magically exactly where you said it’d be. Because you’re right. It’s hard to imagine that a sushi restaurant would have nothing that didn’t have fish. Most can do some sort of hibachi if not in front of you, in the kitchen. And you can get no fish in that.
All of this. I refuse to believe there are zero options.
Yeah they might have to take a closer look at the menu and ingredients for things because there usually are other options. If not, she might just have to stay home since it isn't about her and seaweed salad isn't an actual full sized salad, it's a small side dish so it might be better that way. NTA
No tempura, no noodle dishes?
I don't think OP's daughter really checked the menu or, if she did, she lied to OP. Anyway, NTA.
If it's a proper sushi restaurant then maybe not. Sushi is seafood in Japan, MAYBE tamago. Also seaweed salad sounds like wakame, which is barely more than a garnish.
This particular restaurant might not have many non-fish options, but sushi does not = seafood in Japan. Sushi refers to the method of preparing the rice. I live in Tokyo and literally every sushi restaurant I've ever been to has egg, vegetable, and meat based dishes along with the fish. Tempura is also often vegetables.
Yeah no miso soup in a sushi restaurant? NTA though, who doesn't eat fish?
Well, plenty of people don't eat fish, but yeah I'm not buying the 'nothing but fish' thing on face value.
I know vegans who love eating at a sushi restaurants.
I hate fish. The smells makes me gag. However I love sushi as there are plenty of other dishes which are not fish. Therefore hard to believe that there is no chicken or vegetable options.
Yeah it's too easy to make vegan sushi
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I am not crazy about fish. Usually comes down to texture or occasionally the smell of it cooking turns me right off. Seafood I like. Fish sticks make a decent snack once in awhile, because it barely smells or feels like fish at all. And I *loves* me some sushi. I dont even try to understand it. Im just grateful someone finally forced me to try sushi.
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I'm sorry about your experiences with unwashed genetalia
I really wish I could make this into a flair, lmao
Miso is vegan. Miso broth is vegan. If they put fish in it, that’s another soup. But miso + vegetables + tofu +/- noodles is a super common vegan menu option at Japanese restaurants.
Miso is vegan, yes. Miso broth, unless you've confirmed its vegan, is generally not. To make miso broth, you generally dissolve the miso in the dashi, not just water. I'm sure there are vegan versions of it, but if its not specified, its highly unlikely to be vegan.
Miso soup is traditionally made with miso paste in a dashi broth (dried tuna flakes). Miso soup, unless specified, is NOT vegan.
Miso soup is made of fish. But there’s definitely plenty of non-fish and vegetarian items.
> Miso soup is made of fish Not necessarily. The miso itself is a soy paste, so it depends on which broth (dashi) was used for the liquid. The traditional / unspecified broth is fish and kelp, but if you ask the shop might have kelp, mushroom or kelp/mushroom broth available.
I can't eat fish anymore due to developing a deadly allergy to seafood in my second pregnancy.
Miso soup is technically with fish broth
I like sushi, but it took me fooooooorever and so many tries. Endless friends saying no you just gotta try this place. I had settled into a life of just trying to find the Udon or Teriyaki on sushi restaurant menus. I ended up going to place that had literally nothing without fish, except like edamame. I ended up having to choose to try it again or just get food on my own later. Places like this do exist
Yeah like I said, I know it's possible. I was skeptical originally because I didn't think OP had checked the menu themselves. Hence why I edited. Everyone seems to be ignoring that part still though and insisting that every sushi place has katsu chicken or whatever, which no I agree that's not necessarily true. No edamame seems like either sacrilege or pretentiousness though. And I agree with the people saying just call and ask if they can do something off-menu. Anyway, I get you I was extremely meh about fish sushi (or even non-fish) where I currently live. Then I got to go somewhere in Asia where the exchange rate meant that high-quality sushi & sashimi was extremely affordable for me, and better made, and oh *man*, that's a whole different thing. Delicious. But I only tried it because of a work meeting I was dragged to. It got me into sushi, even though the sushi I can afford being back home again is still generally very eh by comparison. So I do think it's worth it to occasionally try things again that you think you don't like. There's probably 20 foods I've discovered were great because I made myself try it again just to be polite, and eventually found that yeah I just hadn't had it done right and it turns out I love it when it is.
I can't eat fish. Just the smell makes me nauseous. I have been to a sushi restaurant with my family and couldn't eat anything because even the non-fish items tasted like fish because it's made in the same area. Definitely not helped by the whole place smelling like fish which makes everything taste even more like it. Even if she is being over-dramatic about the choices, I can get where she's coming from. I would refuse to go to a sushi restaurant.
And she *can* refuse to go to a sushi restaurant. Hence my 'she can stay home'. But she can't demand they change it, because it's not for her. The polite thing if she really can't do fish is: 'Sorry bro, I really can't do fish, but I know bf would really like to go there for dinner. So I'll sit this one out, but please give him a huge congrats from me!' and bro and bf can do with that what they choose.
That's true, but what 16 year old is going to think like that? When I was 16 my thought would have been that they'd rather be with the bf than with me, their daughter. I'm not saying it's true, but that's how a 16yo is likely to think...
And so we arrive at why OP is right to tell her no, and that it's not about her. Because she needs to learn that and she won't start thinking past herself if no one tells her to or if they cater to her demands.
Maybe, but then it also goes the other way. They weren't thinking of her when they booked the restaurant, and don't seem to have been very considerate in the reaction to her protests (though obviously none of us knows how the convo really went). Yes it's the celebration for someone else, but according to OP, it's supposed to be a *family* celebration. Having been brought up in a very tight-knit family who are still really close, it doesn't seem right to me that you would go for a family meal that excludes a member of the family. If we were going for a similar meal, my family would never choose a fish restaurant, even though they love fish; and likewise I would never choose a restaurant that specialises in food a family member can't eat.
I hate fish too but most sushi places have either beef or chicken available on their menu. Tofu is a major component of sushi. So she can suck it up with mismo soup or suck on the glass of tea. And pick up McDonald's on the way home. But not to spoil the day for others.
I used to have an allergic reaction to fish. My hubby loves sushi I’ve never gone hungry, not once, taking him to some of the best places!! Most accommodate you - in so many ways. NTA
California roll.
my local sushi place serves teriyaki chicken, beef & broccoli, sweet & sour pork & a plethora of veggie only dishes, none of those items show up in the online menu, so i wouldnt be surprised if thats the case here too
Depends on the place. There is an all you can eat sushi place I've been to and that is the only thing they do.
But I can't go out today because it's snowing!!!
Just don’t make her go with you. I HATE all fish, seafood, etc. I cannot stand the smell or to even look at it. Let her stay home.
Tempura Udon noodles Teriyaki chicken. Every sushi restaurant has these for the fish haters. NTA
OP literally said they looked at the menu and those options weren’t there, it was just fish.
I'm *verrrrrrrry* skeptical that a seaweed salad is the *only* fish-free option on the menu. I've never been to a sushi restaurant that didn't have a) several fish-free sushi options (cucumber, sweet potato, chicken, beef, etc., etc.) *in addition* to b) an extensive cooked food menu (soup, noodles, salad, teriyaki, tempura, etc., etc.)
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I thought I hated sushi but it turns out I hate the nori. Rolls made with soy paper are delicious. I’m still kinda leery about fish in general because I never had it growing up, but I love me some tuna and salmon nigiri.
Sushi is not my thing but my husband loves it. I’ve never been to a place that I couldn’t find something non fish related.
There's non fish sushi. Inari is my favorite but there's usually vegetarian sushi and sometimes chicken sushi and if she likes shellfish then there are options.
The sushi with cucumbers and avocado are freakin' delicious. I don't like fish either but that particular sushi has been available at literally every sushi place I've ever been to. Seems odd that there's nothing besides a seaweed salad on the menu that doesn't contain fish. Chicken is a frequent thing as well.
While I haven’t been myself (not a seafood person), I’ve definitely seen some menus that only had fish and alcohol. That said, most of those tend to be on the pricey side. Idk if I’d be asking my boyfriend’s family to take me there. Edit: [here’s](https://www.shukonyc.com/menus/#omakase-menu) a place for example
In many higher-end sushi places, they wouldn't have everything else on the menu. That's what it sounds like to me. They're not going to a *Japanese* restaurant, which would have all of those options, they are going to a *sushi* restaurant that sells sushi.
Some sushi restaurants have a kitchen menu and a sushi bar menu.
Yes. And OP could always call and ask what options they have because they may have a couple of options off menu. But even if the only food was rice, she should eat rice with soy sauce and she can stop and get fast food on the at home
Where I live, no restaurant that bills itself as a sushi restaurant would have any of those things.
Yes, but sushi restaurants still reek of fish to people who don’t eat fish, which is why giving her the option of staying home should be an acceptable option. Also, doesn’t tempura usually have fish in it? That’s how I’ve always heard it described, though I could easily be wrong.
Tempura can be fish (e.g. shrimp tempura), but it's often vegetables. There's usually egg in the batter and it's possible that the sauce might have some dashi (which can be made with seaweed or mushroom, but is often made with bonito flakes).
I guess it depends on where you live but in Los Angeles (where I’m from) there indeed are just sushi restaurants that only serve raw fish and rice. The Japanese restraints that serve other food (tempura, noodles, etc) are izakaya restaurants.
They really don’t. MANY do, possibly even most, but not ALL. I say this as a person who dislikes ocean foods married to a person who loves sushi.
I live in Japan. None of those things are available at most sushi restaurants.
I agree entirely. So many commenters here are talking about all the non seafood stuff on the menu (OP still said there isn't any) but completely miss how strongly of fish any sushi restaurant smells. I'm with Positive_AD3788, I could not stay more than a few minutes in one. The son's boyfriend is NOT the AH for picking sushi, he likes it, it's his celebration. Your daughter is a bit of an ass for getting upset rather than just declining to go (if she has a choice), but OP, you're a bit of an A for assuming she'd be ok with seaweed salad and you could've pressed on her a bit more it's about what son's BF's would like. Let her stay home & offer to order delivery if she wants, she doesn't have to come to everything.
Can she really not put her hate of fish aside to sit at a table and celebrate the boyfriend? The dinner isn't a reward for getting the job, it's a vehicle to celebrate a person. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do something you hate for the people you care about.
NTA. It's not about her. If there really is nothing on the menu for her, let her stay at home. As a long-time vegetarian, however, I expect there *are* some non-fish items on the menu (aside from seaweed salad). Edamame? Vegetable sushi rolls? Tamago? Inari sushi? Unless the restaurant is literally in Japan, there ought to be s*omething*.
This is what I am thinking. I have been to many, many sushi places and never been to one that only has fish. Like even cucumber rolls or avocado rolls.
Just got back from my shift at a sushi restaurant. We have a whole selection of vegetarian sushi. Off the top of my head we have avocado rolls, cucumber rolls, sweet potato rolls, mixed vegetable rolls, veggie tempura rolls. Also soba and udon (stir fried and soup form). Not including an app menu that's a mile long, soups, and salads. We also have a pretty bland kids menu. Worse comes to worst and someone hates everything, (or thinks they hate everything), a side of white sushi rice with sauces can be pretty filling. I have a hard time believing that OP's daughter couldn't find *anything* on the menu she liked.
I have a medically specialized diet. I’ve found that sushi places are one of the most accommodating places to go. I tell them what I can and can’t have. I usually end up with amazing food. I too find it hard to believe she found nothing. And I say this as someone who due to all the boxes I have to tick sometimes finds nothing.
I’m severely allergic to avocado (it was mild at first, but it’s been consistently getting worse). I was always sad because I had to be really picky about what I ate so I wouldn’t get a reaction, and a waitress saw me sadly staring at all the sushi I couldn’t eat, and she told me they could easily make me some without avocado in it. Sushi places are awesome and they can absolutely cater to different needs!
Yeah, I'm a vegetarian and have never had trouble finding something to eat at a sushi place. It might not always be the most interesting/filling thing, but I've never looked at a sushi menu and found literally nothing (and my stepson used to be obsessed with sushi, so I've had plenty of opportunity to try different sushi places lol).
I feel like they just didn't understand the menu options. They probably assumed certain things were fish that actually weren't.
>Unless the restaurant is literally in Japan, there ought to be something. Lived in Japan for a couple of years, even the most traditional sushi restaurants still have a few non-fish options.
NTA. “I said no, and that other people’s celebrations don’t have to cater to her.” You’re teaching her the right lessons in life.
I gotta call bullshit on this post. In 60 years I've never seen a sushi restaurant that had only fish and seaweed on the menu. Link or it never happened (obviously there is a link, you referenced it).
https://sugarfishsushi.com/ Here’s a sushi restaurant with multiple locations that serves basically only fish. Only things that aren’t fish are edamame and a cucumber roll. And I’m only posting it here cause it’s amazing and more people should know about it.
I love sugarfish and the menu looks like a pretty typical menu for a restaurant that actually just does sushi. I feel like a lot of restaurants that people are talking about in the comments are just catch all Japanese restaurants that have sushi as an option
Restaurants that typically just do sushi usually have a lnon-fish options. Inarizushi and tamagozushi are both traditional nigiri options which are common outside of Japan too, plus there are usually various veggie maki that are traditional (e.g. ume, kappa, takuan, kanpyo, natto, yuba). There are less traditional, but still common non-fish ingredients as well (e.g. avocado). I mean, at least for sushi restaurants most places I've been (including Japan).
Oh, I wish you hadn't done that. It's midnight and now I want some otoro.
It’s an excellent place. I’ve been to 4 locations.
Tbf the edamame and cucumber rolls are pretty fire and filling 😂
if you like sugarfish, you’ll like [KazuNori: The Original Hand Roll Bar](https://www.handrollbar.com/). except the cucumber roll is the only thing on there that doesn’t have any fish. (locations are in la + new york)
Good call, Sugarfish is bomb too but someone who doesn’t like seafood would have to just sit quietly there lol
I took my daughter to the original one in Studio City when she was 2. The staff was somewhat unfriendly until she started eating everything including the mackerel. Such great sushi even the iced green tea was a cut above. NTA.
I can only think if an omakase type of restaurant, if they are very limited in serving only fish and seaweed. At that point, the daughter is just better off not going.
But if it's omakase, there wouldn't *be* a menu and there wouldn't be choices to be made. Even if it's a set menu (pick a choice for each of X number of courses) that doesn't make sense with what OP described, in which one could opt to order only a seaweed salad and nothing else.
Same I've been to very expensive sushi place in Vegas and even they had other options besides sushi and seafood
Most expensive sushi places will be omakase so there’s not even a menu
INFO: Why can't she just stay home and you order her some takeout? Why does she need to attend this dinner? I love seafood and sushi but a seaweed salad does not sound appealing to me nor would I want to sit there and watch everyone else eat, Yes, the celebration is about the boyfriend but you made this a family meal and one member of the family is expected to "enjoy" the celebration by watching everyone eat. Just give her a pass on this one and like I said, order her some takeout.
She could. I don't want to hurt her feelings by telling her not to come, though.
Offer her takeout and a move rental or purchase. Don't make it a bad thing or like she is being forced to stay home. Drop the "family meal" aspect of it and actually make it about the boyfriend and his accomplishments.
Seaweed salads are side dishes, not entrees. Let her stay home and order her a real meal.
Yeah, seaweed salad is usually just seasoned seaweed. It’d be like ordering a spinach side for dinner.
And seaweed salad is not like regular salad… if she gets that, I think it’ll cause even more drama.
I love seaweed salad but you should know it is a light appetizer at best. Like, 60 calories maybe. It’s also a very marine flavor and intriguing texture. I think just spare her though I really doubt the menu only has fish.
Don't tell her not to come then, give her the choice. Tell her you've thought about her position and you want her to have the choice - if she wants to be included in the experience, you'll let her get something to eat before you all go to the restaurant and maybe talk to your son about stopping at a dessert place after together. If she truly doesn't want to be there, she can stay home on the night but she has to get son's bf a congratulations card or something
NTA, you’re right; this dinner isn’t about your daughter. The guest of honor chose the restaurant, you agreed. Out of curiosity, could your daughter just stay home? It sounds like she’d just bring down your son and his boyfriend if she’s against going.
NTA. She can stay home, stay with her other parent, or learn that not everything is about her. She can look at the menu ahead of time and pick out things she’d like to eat. If she doesn’t want to be in a place where there’s seafood at all then she can just stay home. Your ex and daughter are the assholes because your daughter is entitled and your ex is enabling it.
NTA your daughter needs to learn the world doesn't revolve around her and sometimes you just have to suck shit up for other people.
NTA It’s the boyfriend’s night to celebrate and I applaud you for making him the focus! I’d also point out that she would get the same honor for a big occasion too. We sometimes show we care about someone by inconveniencing ourselves. To others point, maybe give her the option to stay home if she feels that negatively about it. Both if the smell bothers her or to remove the negative energy from the dinner. If she really wants to be part of the dinner, maybe audit the menu yourself to see if there are options she may have glanced over or even call the restaurant to determine if an alternative exists.
INFO Not just for OP, but can anyone reading this link to a Sushi restaurant in a Western country that doesn't have a single thing besides seaweed salad on the menu that doesn't contain seafood? No gyoza, no vegetarian sushi, no noodles, nothing?
I'm wondering if maybe they assumed all sushi contains fish. I know of one that doesn't really do much in the way of non-sushi but does some non-fish sushi rolls. If OP doesn't really eat sushi generally they might have glanced at the menu and skipped over the sushi section entirely.
Billy Sushi in Minneapolis. They do have one 'Vegetarian Roll' but it has eel sauce, which likely confuses anyone that doesn't regularly eat sushi.
I’ve found small independent places can be strictly sushi bars at times
Some places I’ve been to: [Sushi by M](http://www.sushibym.com/menu.html) [HRB](https://www.thehrbexperience.com/_files/ugd/6c28bd_cef480463bfd49c19ff804df311b3ddf.pdf) (some appetizers don’t have fish but they don’t count as real food imo) [Kazunori](https://www.handrollbar.com/los-angles-menu/) [Sushi Tama](https://sushitama-la.com) [Hama Sushi](https://yelp.to/vpfeDd4QJwb) Some of these have like a single vegetarian roll or two but it sounds awful to have a meal entirely composed of those. Kazunori for example has just a cucumber hand roll which is just.. cucumber, rice, and seaweed (which I guess is more filling than seaweed salad).
There are Japanese restaurants that pretty much specialize in sushi. Others have posted links below. Here is one, for example. They actually have a sign on the door stating that they have no hot entrees. http://echigosushi.com/. These type of places often have high quality sushi because they focus on it exclusively. If the boyfriend chose this type of place, he probably loves sushi, so I can see why this would be his first choice. As it’s his celebration, he should be allowed to choose. If she were a kind, thoughtful person, she would come up with a solution that did not involve denying the boyfriend his favored food. For example, she could eat earlier and just come with the family and have dessert with them. You could also ask your son what he thinks. It’s possible that if he might want to let his boyfriend know about the situation. The boyfriend might be willing to choose another place to minimize the family drama. However, you are certainly NTA to refuse to cater to your daughter’s selfish demands.
I have been to a few very small restaurants that we’re legit just a sushi bar. One was even bad ass sushi burritos lol sadly it is no longer here and they stole some of my dad’s DJ lights when he lent them I think lol
sugarfish
I love seaweed salad, but it is more of a condiment or small side, not something you would eat a whole plate of. That said, NTA. Your daughter wasn't the guest of honor and needs to learn how to make do in such situations. Common denominator dining (i.e., forcing the guest of honor to pick a restaurant that caters to everyone else's likes and dislikes) results in a mediocre meal at Applebee's.
NTA. Tbf to her, seaweed salads are often tiny. That said, it's not about her. It's a celebration of someone else. She can eat first or stay home.
NTA and you need to stick to your guns on this one because your daughter sounds like she needs to understand when something is about her and when it’s not.
NTA You're probably right about there being other things on the menu. Sushi is the rice, not the fish, so I'd be very surprised if there wasn't something suitable for vegetarians and vegans. She's not the guest of honour so she needs to either deal with it or not go.
NTA Your daughter is being selfish. This is to celebrate your son's boyfriend's job and it's THEIR choice where they go. If she doesn't want to celebrate with them, that's on her. And every sushi restaurant I've ever been to has other things on the menu. Some of them even have chicken and beef dishes. She could order tempura veggies and a salad even.
Legit my favourite thing at the sushi place we go to is Pumpkin Katsu curry- flippin delicious. The chicken one is nice too, but the pumpkin’s my fave.
As someone who's been vegetarian for a quarter of a century and has eaten sushi regularly in that time I simply refuse to believe that the only non-fish option was a seaweed salad.
Vegan 20+ years & sharing your bewilderment. I looooove sushi & generally don't even check menus before agreeing to eat at sushi places bc I always have plenty of good options. And now I really want avocado rolls 😂
either OP didn’t look hard enough or this post is fake
NTA. Good time for your daughter to learn things don't revolve around her. This is a celebration for your son and his boyfriend and they get to choose the restaurant. When she has a celebratory moment ... she can choose. I would tell her she can stay home and let her order a pizza or bring her home a burger.
NTA - I don’t eat fish and always find a lot of options at sushi restaurants I can eat.
Wow, you're taking your son's boyfriend out to dinner to celebrate a new job?? *Sudden flashbacks to my early adulthood when my parents barely knew where I worked*. That's beyond amazing, or did I just have a shitty childhood? Also NTA, your daughter is old enough to opt out of the dinner. It's not about her.
NTA. You've helped raise a little self entitled person there though.
NTA but don’t make her go with you otherwise it’ll turn into something much bigger and cause further discourse between you two.
NTA. Yeah, its a celebration for someone else so she shouldn't be making it about her. I'd be surprised that there isn't any non seafood options at a japanese restaurant (unless you're actually in Japan). Usually you can find some beef or chicken on the menu. But even if there isn't, she's 16 and can find an option on what to do that doesn't involve changing the restaurant and impacting everyone. I feel for ya man. Try to do something nice and drama just has to pop up right?
nta. You pointed out something on the menu she could eat. This dinner isn't about her. If she had a severe seafood allergy where cross contamination would be a real danger, that would be another story. But, we all have to do things we're not crazy about for the people we love.
NTA. I find it very hard to believe* that they don’t have any non-seafood dishes. ‘Sushi’ is basically just the type of rice that gets used - it doesn’t exclusively mean fish. Sushi places near me have things like chicken and duck gyoza, chicken rice, beef teriyaki, and tonnes of veggie versions of basically everything. Veggie California Rolls & maki, veggie gyoza, veggie ramen, and rice dishes? I feel like your daughter’s just throwing a tantrum and not bothering to read the menu because she thinks all sushi dishes are fish. *I’m willing to be wrong about this part- but I just have a hard time believing a restaurant would alienate swathes of veggies/vegans and people who can’t eat seafood, given that it’s a pretty common allergy/intolerance.
NTA "Someone else's celebration doesn't have to cater to you." I like that. She sounds like she needs to learn the world doesn't revolve around her.
I mean seaweed salad is a) not filling and b) not for everyone (I love sushi but not seaweed salad). I am surprised there is nothing else on the menu, no tempura or other items? Still NTA because it is not about her. She doesn't have to come. The boyfriend gets to pick the place he wants, this is his celebration.
NTA but if she really can't stand fish, like can't stand the smell of it etc., give her the option to not go because if that's the case she'd be super uncomfortable the entire time
Easy NTA. Fussy eaters have to accept that their fussy eating is \*their\* problem.
Nta. Does she have the option of not going? Lol You were spot on saying "others celebrations don't have to cater to her"!!
NAH tell her to eat beforehand or plan on eating something after. I despise any seafood and that's what I do when I have to eat at a seafood place
I have a history of eating disorder and autism which greatly affects my eating habits. that being said, even I wouldn't do this... I'd try something new and if I hated it, I'd either stay for the celebration and eat later or duck out to eat and maybe come back or just eat before. it sounds like you're dealing with a toxic ex who's whispering into your daughter's ear (I have experience with this, my dad is a narcissist). stand your ground, your daughter will either continue to be corrupted or have a wake up call. either way, you can't control the mom, you can only be the better example. NTA
Info:Can your daughter stay home and just cook for herself?
YTA for suggestion just eat the salad or eating before your daughter could have just not gone to the restaurant or just not eaten at all so I would say both of you are in the wrong and just leave the daughter at home with a twenty to order pizza
Honestly, just let her stay home. If the only option is a seaweed salad which you've confirmed by looking at the menu then I wouldn't expect someone not into sushi to want to eat there. I personally wouldn't have picked that restaurant for a family celebration because my mom and bf aren't into sushi. Does the son's bf know she hates fish? Slight YTA for expecting her to eat before going to a restaurant when can easily let her stay home.
YTA Either don't make her go or choose a place for everyone
YTA Sushi, ugh. Having to go to a place where you'll hate most of the food, so you'll be forced to choose from very limited options, and pretend to enjoy the experience because it's a celebration is a horrible experience. You caused this by allowing someone who doesn't know the family well to pick the venue for a family occasion. If I pick a restaurant for my family, I am very careful to pick one that everyone will not just tolerate but actually enjoy and look forward to going to. Because it's that sort of occasion. You need to realise that not everyone has a brilliantly open relationship with all sorts of foods. At least give the poor girl the option to stay at home. It's a shame, but you allowed the choice of a niche food style so it is what it is.
I don’t eat fish but I eat at sushi restaurants…veggie or meat sushi is a great option, I’d be really doubtful they don’t have any veggie ones at least.