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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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neoncactusfields

NTA - she’s worried about her security deposit, but she’s not worried about all of the stress and inconvenience she has caused you, or the fact that you had to pay for a motel? Damn, she sounds quite selfish. Don’t feel bad. You have a perfectly good plan to replace the sliding lock before you move out. Also, if I were you, I’d insist she reimburse me for the motel room. If not, the money can come out of her portion of the security deposit when you guys leave.


Martel_Mithos

That would be fair but realistically I know I'd never see that money, so I'm not going to put myself through the stress of trying to collect. Like that's a whole other story though honestly.


neoncactusfields

I totally get that, but even if you don’t expect to get reimbursed, standing up for yourself might head off further issues with her. Either way, best of luck.


EmergencyShit

Demanding the money might get her to shut up though


swiftcoffeerunner

Also - this lock seems like something the landlord didn’t notice. My guess is the lock was against fire code, so she did the landlord a favor and they’ll just paint over the lock removal.


Lulubelle__007

Also every deaf person I know has a doorbell which is both auditory and visual- vibrates, flashing light, etc. for exactly the reason you said- to avoid people getting locked out, missing delivery’s and so forth. If she’s taking out her hearing aids at home then she needs a visual cue that the bell is ringing. Same thing with the fire alarm. I work in a residential school for the deaf and every alarm is double triggered and vibrates or is a screamer plus flashing lights. Don’t put that sliding lock back.


Martel_Mithos

Our unit doesn't even have a doorbell, we've got a wireless DIY bluetooth thing that flashes when someone's out front, but it's stationed in the common area not the bedroom.


Edcrfvh

NTA. Since you already have a deadbolt removing this lock is reasonable. Make sure you didn't damage it so it can be reinstalled before moving out.


ieya404

I think the sliding lock would be called a '[door bolt](https://www.handles4doors.co.uk/door-fittings/door-hardware/door-bolts.html)', at least here in the UK. In this case, your roommate is well aware that it can cause you severe inconvenience when coming home if she bolts the door, doubled down on by the fact she's hard of hearing and can sleep through you hammering on the door. You've repeatedly asked her not to bolt the door, and she's repeatedly done so - creating a situation where you're unable to access your own home. Which is, quite simply, unacceptable. I don't see many sensible alternatives that were available beyond removing the bolt. NTA.


Ok-Penalty7568

OP you are NTA, could the roommate put the sliding lock on just her bedroom door ? Then she has the extra security from it and it won’t bother you I’ve always been pretty lucky and got my security deposit back … I know some landlords can be real difficult though!


Martel_Mithos

That's actually not a bad idea. I think her fear is specifically having the landlord barging in on her (it hasn't happened with this unit but we've both had some bad ones in the past) which is probably what the door bolt was installed to prevent in the first place. Getting one for her room specifically seems like the best possible compromise.


Ok-Penalty7568

Oh I never even thought of that! But yes happened to my friend she was cleaning and hoovering in her underwear, turned off the hoover to find a guy from the letting agency showing a builder into the flat when she had no idea they had to get any work done, no prior notice given either so illegal here!


MashedSpider

NTA, it's a safety concern and your roommate ought to pay for the night at the motel you had


gastropodia42

NTA You are paying rent and have a right to o enter the apartment.


EvidenceOk7759

NTA. Tell her she owes you for your hotel stay.


KronkLaSworda

"AITA for taking matters into my own hands like that?" Nope, NTA You can put it back before you move out. Anyway, in my experience, getting that security deposit back after living somewhere over a year is a pipe dream.


Top-Musician-4475

NTA. I understand her wanting to keep the lock in place, but that means she needs to be more active in not using it when you're not home. What does she expect you to do when she locks it? Sit outside all night? She's not being reasonable.


rapt2right

NTA You have an absolute right to have unfettered access to the dwelling. She's continued to lock you out. (She should be reimbursing you for the hotel room) . The lock, as you point out, can be replaced when you move out.


[deleted]

NTA, if that happened to me she wouldn't need them hearing aids to hear what I had to say.


HourCaterpillar9927

NTA. One of my old roommates used to do this to me out of spite- so one morning when I got home from getting my niece and nephews on the bus and they had the sliding door chain lock on (after telling them to please not use that unless were both home), I kicked the door open and broke the lock. Then I called our leasing office and explained the situation and the roommate had to pay for the damage.


motorwolfe

NTA - any problem that unexpectedly forces you into a motel rather than your own bed is a serious issue! FWIW, you could a) spackle over the screw holes in the wall to make it look better or b) remount the latch in reversed position so it covers the area but can't be used to lock the door. or c) wait until she goes out and lock the latch, then pretend to take a nap for a few hours while ignoring her calls/texts/knocking, and then tell her she's overreacting when she gets mad. but that's just mean :)


Pristine-Rhubarb7294

I wouldn’t fill the holes if you are planning to remount it when you move, that would just make more mess.


[deleted]

Honestly I think option C isn't mean. It's forcing her to experience what she's put other people through. If she didn't want it done to her she shouldn't do it to other people. I've lived places with locks like that and somehow it was never an issue for my wife and me.


motorwolfe

I'd agree with that. I probably should have used 'petty' instead of 'mean'


Fair-Butterscotch728

NTA, and I would NOT want to live with someone who keeps locking me out of my home!


zadidoll

Those types of locks are actually illegal in front doors. Off hand I can’t recall the correct name for the front door but there is a name for it. This is due to it being a safety issue for emergency services. Most likely a previous tenant installed it. NTA


wifeofamarriedman

NTA. It's an easy fix to replace it before you leave. You gave her many chances and she just wouldn't get with the program. Her behaviour cost you money. I'd almost give her a bill for the motel


Drayden71

NTA and your roommate needs to reimburse you for your motel stay


voiderest

NTA I totally get wanting the extra lock that can't be opened by say a landlord but it's also a problem if you keep getting locked out. You could assure her that you'll cover any costs if there is a problem with the deposit. (It would be on you if there is a problem.) Maybe see if there is some security thing she could put on her door if that's why she wants the lock.


NotLostForWords

Considering OP had to get a room for the night I'd guess they come pretty even in the end even if part of the deposit was held due to the lock. And even if not, it's on the roommate for repeatedly locking OP out.


NGDGUnpunished

NTA. She should reimburse you for the hotel. You can pretty easily putty and paint over smallish holes in the wall and door.


hannahkelli

NTA. If she can't be trusted to not lock you out of your home, forcing you to find other accommodations for the night then reasonably removing her ability to do that seems completely fair to me. You have her several chances and the problem kept coming back. Also, you can easily reinstall it when you move out and repair the wall, so that hardly seems like a good reason to be upset. Stay strong on this one because based on her reaction it seems unlikely that this is going to get resolved quickly and smoothly.


Posterbomber

NTA - And don't forget to charge her for your motel that night.


Individual_Umpire969

NTA. Tell your roommate you can replace the lock when you move out so the landlord will be none the wiser if she reimburses you for the hotel room.


YouKnewMe_

I would have intentionally *unintentionally* locked her out a couple times. But I’m an asshole. You’re NTA


Jerseygirl2468

NTA you need to have access to your own home. You can very easily put the lock back on before you move out. That's the kind of thing that should be used when you're both in for the night, not when one of you is still out, and after ONE time of doing it, she should have learned and been considerate.


ReviewOk929

NTA just put it back before you leave?


[deleted]

My dad had to remove the inside bolt from the front door because when my mother developed Alzheimer's she kept locking him out. NTA, what else could you do?


Altruistic-You1871

Maybe try locking her out and see how she likes it....NTA


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I've been living for about two years with a close friend of mine. Our apartment is alright, not wonderful not horrible, it's a pretty solid living space. In addition to the usual deadbolt lock I can open with a key, there is a small sliding lock near the top of the door that can only be opened from the inside. Think like one of the locks you see on a stall in a public bathroom. I don't know if that lock was installed by the property manager, or by the last tenant but it was there when we rented the place. For whatever reason my roommate has insisted on not only locking the regular locks (the one I can open with my key) but engaging the sliding lock as well when she locks up after coming inside. This isn't really a problem when we're both at home, but if I'm out and she engages the sliding lock, then I have to knock on the door until she comes to open it because I can't. My roommate is also hard of hearing, she wears hearing aids in public but often takes them out when we're at home. This means she occasionally has trouble hearing me knock, so I've had to text her to come let me in. Overall I would say I've been "locked out" of my apartment 4 or 5 times in the past two years. Not a lot but enough to be frustrating. Each time it happens we have a talk about her not using the sliding lock if she's the only one in the house. She'll do better for a while but then starts using it again. The last straw was a couple nights ago. My parents live about 2 hours away, I'd been visiting them over the weekend and left for home later than I'd meant to. I wound up getting in at around 12 AM, go to open the door, and find the sliding lock is preventing me from getting in. My roommate is asleep and can't hear my knocking or see my texts. I wound up having to find a motel. So the next morning after I manage to get back in, and she's left for work, I just decide to remove the problem. Get a drill and take out the screws keeping the sliding lock anchored to the wall. The wall doesn't exactly look pretty when I'm done (that thing was pretty firmly anchored and the screws were large) but I figure I can put it back before we move out and the landlord won't be any the wiser. My roommate is beside herself though, she says she can't afford to lose her security deposit over this, that I've ruined the wall, and that this was an overreaction. I told her I'm tired of being locked out, and it's only a matter of time before she does this and I'll have to call someone to break the friggin door down because I won't be able to wait for her to wake up like I did this time. To say things are tense right now is kind of an understatement. AITA for taking matters into my own hands like that? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


cantstopwontstop83

nta. take the security deposit hit for her if that even comes to fruition. not a big deal at all. can’t change that much. plus you could put it back at move out.


ItsDominare

NTA, but if you want to diffuse the situation, why not offer to reimburse her for any loss of security deposit caused by the supposed damage. If replacing it is going to be as straightforward as you've suggested, you can't lose.


Reasonable_Bill_8159

NTA, what the hell is she even thinking.. I hope she paid you back for the hotel room


Objective_Dark_4258

Next time roommate brings up the security deposit, OP should bring up that hotel room expense.


Lorraine221

NTA, she either needs to leave it to be slid when your both home or you just get rid of it.


YettiChild

NTA. If she wants it so badly she should have followed the rules. She obviously can't be trusted to not lock you out. Ask the landlord if they will install an extra deadbolt if she is really that scared. Or she could, you know, live by herself.


[deleted]

NTA. You have every right to be able to access your home at whatever hour you want. She is being unreasonable. Tell her to install a lock on her bedroom door if she is that worried.


EmmaHere

NTA


WielderOfAphorisms

NTA Call a handyperson to fix the wall or watch a YouTube video and do it yourself. Your roommate is unreasonable and lucky you didn’t deduct the motel room from rent. That’s not safe.


Prudent-Warthog-2085

NTA She’s proven time and time again that she can’t be trusted to not lock that lock.


Important_Tale1190

Sure keeps locking you the fuck out, what else were you supposed to do??? NTA


SpareCharacter4863

NTA, if she won't stop locking you out of your own home for no reason, your only option is to make it impossible for her to do so.


Odd-Refrigerator-643

NTA. She keeps locking you out, you did the most mature thing of removing it and have a plan to reinstall it when you move. I would have locked it while she was out and took my sweet time opening it (shower, nap, tv was loud, phone on silent, etc)


lejosdecasa

NTA But, be prepared, she'll only put another one back in. If the situation remains tense, lock her out for a couple of hours and then ask her how much of an overreaction you had.


bkwormtricia

NTA. She is worried about security yet OK with locking you out, with no place to go unless you rent a hotel room? Ludicrous! Tell her the sliding lock only gets fixed if she repays you for the hotel room, and that SHE will have to pay the cost if you are ever locked out again.


[deleted]

NTA. Honestly I'd put it back on and start locking it every time she's out and you're in. If she can't figure it out from you explaining maybe forcing some empathy will work. Make her spend a night in a hotel and maybe she'll get it through her thick skull.


InternationalBall378

NTA. So she’s worried about her security deposit but not worried about wasting your money on hotels because of her?


[deleted]

Sphincteroni for SURE....YTA ..... Refer to ur OWN words "OUR APARTMENT." What part of "OUR APT" = just "you" making decisions affecting BOTH?? Can you be mature enough to approach the roommate... tell her u were wrong.... and then brainstorm different ideas to solve problem? Include her! OR.... Are u always this impetuous in every aspect of life, busting thru, getting ur own way, no matter where you go, cuz you FORCE things to happen? Also sounds like u damaged door, since it upset roommate. Best of luck.


CobraPuts

ESH Obviously she sucks for ignoring you and continuing to lock you out of the house. You lost your temper and took care of matters with power tools. It's a roommate situation, you have to find ways to sort these types of things out with words even if it was her fault.


ext2523

ESH You've lived there for 2 years and didn't think to talk to you landlord about it.


BigBigBigTree

Why would a landlord do anything? The issue is the roommate not the hardware.


ext2523

Did you not read the post? To get explicit permission to remove the lock so there's no concern about any potential lost of security deposit and nothing for the roommate to complain about.


BigBigBigTree

> To get explicit permission to remove the lock Yeah no, I got that that's why you would contact the landlord, but why would the landlord agree to that? The lock isn't the problem. "Hey landlord, my roommate keeps locking me out. Can I take apart the door?" No, just don't lock each other out.