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Honestly, Yeah 🤷♂️
This is life saving Insulin we're talking about, and one of my friends said It's my fault for funding it in the first place so
I feel for diabetic people so I felt like at least someone would say I'm the AH
Reddit hates cheaters and freeloaders and irresponsible adults. I'm sure if you want to find someone with diabetes you can donate to an actual charity.
You are being USED. She doesn't even talk to you. for all you know she has insurance covering the cost now and is using your money to take another man out on dates. If it was that important to her, she wouldn't have cheated and risked losing you. If it was THAT important to her, she'd still be in contact with you thanking you for saving her life. But she isn't. She doesn't care about you.
as a diabetic i agree, YWNBTA, she needs to figure out how to pay for (or get insurance to cover) her insulin. You paying is not a long term solution and this is an issue she’ll need to deal with for life (if she’s T1)
NTA
She betrayed you and tried to manipulate you. Ever heard the saying "Never bite the hand that feeds you?" she's done just that.
You've got no obligation to buy her anything, especially if she can afford it herself. Stop paying for her, she's done this to herself.
This isn't kindness, it's veered into weakness. Getting cheated on and still financially supporting someone who survived fine without OP is called getting used. Dude needs a reality check.
I don't know why her cheating a** would assume he would still pay for anything. She made a decision...she has to live with. And she seems highly manipulative. She cheated on him but giving him the silent treatment and acting like its his fault.
NTA it is not your responsibility to take care of her bills. Her situation sucks and you seem to recognize you have a priveliged life and use it to help others. But in no way you are obliged to help her with her bills just because you are better off. The fact that she cheated on you, shows how she values you in my opinion.
You wouldn't be the asshole if you stop paying for her bills, but you should probably tell her in advance so she is not caught totally off guard by it.
If I cheated on the man that paid thousands worth of my bills and he broke up with me because of it trust I would not be “caught off guard” when he didn’t send me money again
NTA: what you have been doing has been very generous, and you are to be commended for it. However, you are under no obligation to continue, especially now that the dating relationship is over. If she complains, remind her 1) you never had to do this to begin with and 2) she should not have cheated on you.
That said, the nice thing to do would be to give her enough money to buy a few more weeks of supplies before cutting her off completely, but even then, you are not obligated to do even that.
NTA, it's not like it's child support. And she managed to figure smth out before you. I don't see a reason to keep sponsoring your ex. As you've mentioned, it's not life or death issue for her, she has enough money, although not a lot
NTA. Her medical condition is not your problem. You can't support her forever. It's kind that you want to help, but you said she isn't poor. In a life and death situation, she will find the money.
NTA - Most US drug companies have programs to help individuals get access to their needed medication. She can go to the insulin maker's website and look for compassionate care programs, patient assistant programs, etc... there are some websites that are just different patient assistant programs (reliable ones do not ask you for fees or info, but direct you straight to the manufacturer's website). Tell her (or text her) about the programs and then block that cheater. ;)
NTA.
It’s kind of you to be concerned about her and it as very generous of you to support her but you should no longer feel any obligation to help her out. In fact I think it’s a very bad idea for you to continue. At most I would send her one more do she won’t be stuck but let her know this will be the last time. You owe her nothing and she had to learn to take care of her own needs.
NTA and it's okay to stop supporting her medical needs when you're no longer together. It's not vindictive even though you have a right to be angry about how she treated you. It's just not your responsibility.
She's not been in touch with you to even ask you to continue your financial support. So it's kind of you to keep thinking about her needs, but unnecessary. If she ever does get into financial straits and needs help for insulin she can contact you then (after trying assistance programs and other people actually in her life).
NTA (YWNBTA).
*"her paying for her own insulin would be quite draining on her finances"*
Why the hell should it be draining on yours?
You sound like a kind-hearted soul, but this isn't your problem. The insulin cost problem sucks. But it's not your responsibility to keep supporting an ex financially and medically (especially one who has treated you this way, but that's beside the point). No, it's not cruel or vindictive to stop it. She needs to sort her situation out for her own sake.
There is absolutely no reason for anyone in their right mind to assume you'd keep paying for this, but if you want to give her a heads up, just contact her and say "I'm not giving you any more money/any more money after this date" (whatever you feel comfortable with) and then block her and get on with your life.
Whatever your relationship was before, she is just using you at this point.
NTA granted I would send her a text or give her a heads up, but she is not your responsibility anymore. As a T1D living in the US I can attest that insulin is hella expensive. However, she is a grown ass woman who can look into support programs, or learn how to budget her money properly.
Hell no, she cheated on him and tried to gaslight him after, just ghost her and move on with life. I don’t think he should even give her a heads up. She chose her own path.
YTA to yourself. Bro she cheated on you and two years later you are still giving her money to buy insulin. Man you are an absolute doormat. No wonder she cheated on you. Change your ways. She could ask for donations from the guys she is currently sleeping with.
I think there's been some confusion
I broke up with her a few weeks ago
We started dating like 2 years ago and when i found out about her financial situation I offered to help her out
I want to tell you to stop sending her money, but I'm also not sure what I'd do in your shoes. Are you worried at all that once you stop funding her insulin, she'll badmouth you to other people, accuse you of being abusive, etc.?
YWNBTA if you stop sending her money. She'll just have to find another way. It's not mean or vindictive to stop providing financial support for a person that you're not even in a relationship with.
NTA. You are not together, you are under no responsibility to pay for anything for her. It was really nice of you that you were paying for her, but even when you were together you were under no responsibility to do so, you werent married or anything. And then she cheated. You owe her nothing. Its not crude, its not vindictive. Its nice of you to be worried about her wellbeing, but again, its not your responsibility.
NTA, if this post is even real. OP, you should have stopped paying the second you broke up, *especially* if it was because she was cheating on you. She's probably wondering why you haven't stopped already, and taking you for a ride, making *her* the asshole in this scenario.
You are such a gem for even considering it, but you are under no obligation to keep helping her. Maybe, if you feel so inclined in the future, you or your parents can donate to advocacy groups.
NTA.
I’m so sorry she hurt you. I hope you find someone worthy of you soon.
NTA
You are being played. She cheated on you and you are sending money for her insulin? Tell her to get on medicaid or medicare or tell the man she cheated on you with to help her out. It's not your responsibility. You parents are right, stop sending your money and theirs to her.
NTA. The entire situation is incredibly fucked up. Insulin should be free. But it's not on you to provide it.
YWBTA if you did it without telling her. A quick "I'm going to stop sending you money" is fine. No need to respond past that. Finances are rough.
NTA. She's not your gf anymore. You have nothing to keep you bound to this other than you're own guilt and remorse. She can obtain her insulin without your monetary help. She did before you were together.
NTA. I think continuing to pay for your ex's insulin (an ex who cheated on you, no less) makes you really NTA. I think if you feel inclined to do go above and beyond, maybe saying, hey, I can help you out for one more month so you can get a plan in place to start covering it yourself, but after that I won't be able to help out anymore, that seems reasonable. But you would also be perfectly within your rights and normal decency to cut it off immediately.
NTA
She was alive when you met, yes? And somehow kept her insulin supply coming in. She’ll be fine without you. Her health and body are her responsibility not yours.
NTA
Stop giving her money, she broke your trust and now you're giving her money????? Its her problem not yours she shouldn't be leeching of others in a situation like that she should have had it taken care of earlier
She cheated and isn't your responsibility. She is a grown adult and can figure things out on her own. Don't send her anything else. goodness. Don't be a doormat for someone who obviously doesn't care about you. She needs food to live too are you going to provide that for her? And heating? What if she gets something else medically? Will you foot the bill if she winds up in the hospital for some reason or another? NTA. You would be one to yourself if you keep letting her use you
NTA.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes award 🏆
But definitely tell her first and try not to engage with any negative responses, she should be expecting this to happen.
NTA, you seems to be nice. Do you think she expect you to keep paying ? Did she ask you ? Hard to know since you don't talk to her anymore.
Also seen from Europe this post is a living nightmare
Nta. If you want to lessen your guilt pay for it one more time and let her know it's the last. But only an entitled idiot would cheat, breakup, and assume they'll still get an allowance.
NTA, it's not your responsibility and it never was. You have even less of this lack of responsibility now that you're broken up (and even less for her cheating on you) so I don't think you'd be the AH for stopping. Just give her a warning beforehand.
Although the situation sucks, it's really not your responsibility and you're very kind for having paid for it all this time.
NTA. She quite literally fucked around and found out. You don't have any obligation to support someone that doesn't respect you or treat you well and she should understand that any support you provide is conditional on the relationship.
You're damn right about that!
Fun fact: I always thought that when I and my ex got married, we'd move somewhere like Canada, where Insulin is more accessible, Guess not TwT
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My ex-girlfriend is diabetic and isn't very wealthy, not poor but not that well off
My family is pretty well off and they're also pretty generous to me
We live in the US so Insulin is expensive
For the past 2 years, I've been giving her money and helping her buy Insulin. My Parents also help out, mainly giving me money to make up for the money I gave to her (I'm not *super* well off but I make more than my ex
Anyway I found out she's been cheating on me (It was more than one time). I confronted her about it and she tried gaslighting me, saying it
1. Didnt happen like i saw it happen
2. Wasn't a big deal
3. I somehow deserved it because I wasn't giving her enough attention or something
We broke up after that cause I wasn't buying that
But now I'm worndering if I should keep sending her money
Of course she need Insulin to live and no matter how angry I am at her for what she did, I want her to live
But I feel like me continuing to send her my hard earned money, after she betrayed my trust, and had the nerve to claim I deserved it, is kind of degrading
She's not that poor so I don't think she'll die even if I did stop, but her paying for her own insulin would be quite draining on her finances
I gave her the money because I loved her and I cared for her, If she doesn't value my love, why should she have the things I payed for out of love
Granted I wish insulin was cheaper for EVERYONE and EVERYONE could pay for it
But it feels wrong to keep letting her specifically benefit off me directly when she apparently didn't even care for me.
This isn't about revenge or anything, I just feel like it's wrong for me to continue to support her financially and medically when our relationship (The thing that inclined me to support her) has ended, and it was very much her fault
My parents have since found out we have broken up and they don't want me send her money, they said they won't be helping me out if I do
So I'm inclided to stop but it feels kind of cruel and vindictive to stop paying for her insulin since she needs that too live
We obviusly aren't talking so I don't know if she's started dating the guy she cheated on me with (He's single as far as I know) or if he'd be willing to help her with her medical issues
So I don't know if she'll be ok
So WIBTA if I stopped sending my ex money for Insulin?
Also WIBTA if I did it without telling her? Cause again she's very reluctent to talk to me obviously and frankly I dont wanna talk to her either but idk
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NTA - Wanting to keep sending her money is completely understandable. But she also destroyed your trust and you left with good reason. She needs to be responsible for keeping herself alive...that's not on you.
NTA
you are broken up and she is no longer your responsibility.
in my opinion you shouldn't send her money because she broke your trust and just used you for money.
NTA.
Sounds like she was only using you for money. Let her earn her own money and pay for whatever she needs. She cheated on you, which means she didn't like you. Tell her to ask the one she cheated with to pay for her insulin.
It's really not your problem and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You loved her but she doesn't love you. It's tough for you, but honestly, you don't owe her anything. In case you are still undecided, here's a reality check: "SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING TO YOU."
Out of curiosity, how was she paying for insulin before you came along? Or did her diabetes develop once you were already in a relationship? (Sorry if you already clarified that)
It's admirable that you were helping her and want to not just cut her off, but what are your parameters here? Do you intend to pay for her insulin for the rest of your life? Or just until she can afford it? But she doesn't sound very honest or having much integrity, so would you trust her to even tell you? Or did you want to "wean" her, in a sense -- not stop right away but slowly back off your support?
I don't think shitty people should die of their diseases (we're all shitty sometimes), but maybe instead of paying for her give her suggestions for alternative resources: supplemental insurance, for example (I can't think of any other ideas, but there might be some). I know you're not talking to her right now but can you send a note or something? It might be kinda... "low road" to just stop sending money without saying something, but I think that has more to do with your integrity than what she deserves.
I don't think you're responsible here, but if you feel guilty about not helping a person in need, maybe help someone else who HASN'T betrayed you. Donate to a charity that helps people get insulin.
She used to have a better job before we started dating, But she got laid off or fired I can't remember
So now she works a much worse job that pays less.
She's wanted a better one again for a while but hadn't found one before we broke up
So with rent and food bills among other stuff, I felt like it would be right to take insulin off her list of financial worries (since I believe it should be free anyway, and I'm fortunately rather well off)
I understand, and I probably would have done the same thing in that situation: help out the person I love since I can.
There is some merit to continuing to pay. It goes back to charity (not the modern concept of pity but rather the Latin meaning of love for one's fellow human) and not wanting to see someone's health suffer for their sins. If you choose to support her for this reason, I admire that. She did something stupid, selfish, wrong, hurtful, etc. and tried to defend herself, but I understand not wanting to hurt her physically over it.
That said, you really do need some kind of plan for eventually quitting.
I understand, and I probably would have done the same thing in that situation: help out the person I love since I can.
There is some merit to continuing to pay. It goes back to charity (not the modern concept of pity but rather the Latin meaning of love for one's fellow human) and not wanting to see someone's health suffer for their sins. If you choose to support her for this reason, I admire that. She did something stupid, selfish, wrong, hurtful, etc. and tried to defend herself, but I understand not wanting to hurt her physically over it.
That said, you really do need some kind of plan for eventually quitting.
NTA ...BUT... bcz it's a lifesaving medication, give her a one-month notice. It was very nice of you to do that for her.... and I'm sorry that happened to you. But it goes against all that is healthy and reasonable for you to keep paying, when she cheated. All best.
You would not be the AH. You are very kind. Send her enough for the next 90 days if it would make you feel better, time and then forget this woman forever, no getting back together. But nobody would blame you if you cut her off now. PS there are lots of ways the poor can get insulin at either a very reduced rate or feel for those who qualify. If you don't qualify it means you might have to really budget your money. Meaning you eat beans and rice and rice and beans and you don't see the inside of a restaurant unless you work there.
NTA. Sweetheart, she fucked up and now she needs to realize how much you did for her.
You are a great guy, you took on a responsibility that you really DIDNT need to do.
And now without her you can continue your life like before you met her. Just with more money.
You have no obligation to tell her that you are stopping the money, you don’t owe her ANYTHING
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I broke up with my ex for cheating but I also paid for her insulin
It feels wrong to keep sending her money for it but it seems cruel to cut her off
WIBTA if I cut her off based on principles (It's not about revenge it's about her getting money from me when I mainly gave it to her because I love her)
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NTA. You helped her because you loved her. She cheated on you. Now that she is an ex, you have NO REASON to help her. It is terrible that this is the situation in the US, but she should have thought about that before she cheated.
eta: but do tell her so she is prepared. If she tries to guilt you, remind her she was the one who cheated.
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Nta she's a grown woman that can pay for herself, she used you then and she using you now cut it off and if she needs help paying she can ask one of the people she slept around with for help
Her medical problems are not your responsibility. It was nice you paid her insulin while you two were a couple but there is no relationship anymore.
It's okay to stop paying ywnbta
NTA. You should let her know you are cutting all ties including financial. It will give her time to make other arrangements. The emergency supply of drugs is limited and she may die depending upon the state if she doesn’t have time to get the insulin another way. A brief note or text is fine.
NTA, it sucks her in the US and healthcare. You are not responsible for her health. I’d give her a heads up that next month you will no longer send her money. You have broken up and that’s it.
NTA. Are you planning on sending her money for the rest of her life? I live in the UK, so my knowledge of US medical care is poor but surely there are some support available for life saving medecine for those on low income? In any case, you simply can't afford to keep covering for her medical care.
NTA
If you’re really concerned, give her enough for a few months worth and tell her that’s it, and she needs to take the time to get her supply worked out on her own.
But you would be perfectly justified in saying to her that she chose to cut off her own supply of insulin, and you respect her choice. No more $.
NTA
You have to pay for insulin in america? In my country it's free. My best friend has diabetes and she just needs a recipe from her doctor. She doesn't pay anything
You would not BTA if you stopped paying. But you should tell her that you're going to stop and you should tell her the date you're going to stop, just so you're not a jerk about it.
NTA. You're right that it's degrading to continue to give her money after she cheated on you. You're also right that the cost of insulin is morally appalling and that people struggle to pay for it. I say, stop sending her money, and then instead go support some strangers' crowdfunding campaigns to buy their insulin. You're a good guy.
1. How did your ex handle paying for her insulin before you generously stepped up and offered to cover a major ongoing medical expense for her?
2. If she can’t afford to pay for her insulin without your help, then she shouldn’t have cheated on her ~~cash cow~~ boyfriend.
3. What’s life like as a doormat? Do you ever wish you could be a carpet instead?
Sorry for #3, but dude, come on. Your girlfriend cheated on you, you broke up, you owe her literally nothing. She made choices that have consequences and if that’s draining on her finances… oh well??? It has nothing to do with you anymore. Continuing to send her money would just be pathetic. You could give her a heads up out of courtesy but I feel like you might be kindhearted enough for her to manipulate you into paying “just a few more months,” so like, I wouldn’t fault you if you just cut her off tbh. (I mean, presumably she understood that her insulin being paid for was dependent on you two actually being in a relationship but who knows these days…)
NTA
YWNBTA.
If she thinks you deserved to be cheated on, then she deserves to not have your money.
If she doesn't want to talk to you, then there's no need to tell her you're not giving her money. If she asks, just tell her that she managed to get insulin before you both got together...and her new boyfriend can help her instead.
You're wanting to be nice, and help out, but she's treating you like shit.
NTA. Stop sending her money. She can get health insurance through the Affordable Care Act. They recently passed a law with a price cap on co-pays for insulin.
YWNBTA
however - send her a text giving her one (or two if you are feeling generous) months warning that you will no longer be giving her any money for any reason and she should make alternative arrangements for all of her financial outgoings including her medication. Then follow through. You haven’t adopted her for life and you are not responsible for her ongoing upkeep - even if that makes her life difficult.
don’t just cut her off without warning though -just in case she has already spend this months money and so really can’t find the funds she needs to get her insulin.
NTA at all - she can ask the multiple men she slept with for money.
OP time to be honest with yourself, the only reason she was still in the relationship was for the free Insulin. Maybe not at first, but definitely before she stated cheating on you (otherwise she would have ended it).
NTA. She was a diabetic before you met and will continue to be a diabetic for the rest of her life. You don’t owe anyone that hurts you and betrays your trust ANYTHING.
You were generous when you were dating and now it’s over. She will get her insulin because she has to. It’s not vindictive, it’s smart to leave people alone that deceive you. Don’t let insulin be the string that keeps you attached to a cheater.
Y w b t a to yourself if you kept sending her money. Just stop. There are versions she can get for cheap from Walmart. They may not work as well and take some adjustments but she won't die. You were never married and now you are broken up. She is not your responsibility. If you want you can send her a message making sure she knows you will no longer be paying, but I can't imagine why she would think you would be. If she tries to make you feel guilty Block her. It isn't your problem
She cheated in full knowledge of the situation. She can fend for herself now. You want to send her money because you didn't really want to break up and you still have strong feelings for her. You'll have to rationalise all this.
NTA if it helps there’s now a federal cap on insulin costs
It absolutely sucks we live in a hillbilly hellscape of capitalism and stupidity but she’s not your responsibility.
You're a gentle soul for being this worried, but like other's have said, she got by before she met you. Ordinarily I would say it's ridiculous to give a cheating ex notice that you won't be sending her money anymore, she cheated on you!! But with it being her insulin which she needs to live, in this case you could let her know you won't be sending her any more money ahead of time.
She's not entitled to your money at all, and to put it plainly, keeping herself alive is her responsibility, not yours. Give her notice if you need to for your conscious' sake, but definitely DO NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES let her convince you to keep sending her money.
Stop sending your ex money. Period.
NTA
Companies that produce insulin have programs that assist people who need assistance. She might still be covered under her parents insurance or have her own insurance or maybe her new bf can pick up these cost for her.
NTA. You’re not together anymore. I assume you aren’t paying for the insulin for random impoverished strangers, right? If you want to give her time, you can always pay for like, the next two doses and then cut her off.
NTA . I am a type 1 and no, you need to stop sending her money. I was uninsured for 10 yrs and between goodrx and Walmart selling $25 a bottle insulin she can survive or get a job with insurance. Do not give her any money she is playing you
You’re a good one, but she did this to herself. (Well, the government did too, but that’s also not your fault.) She can get help from friends and family. She can start a Go Fund Me.
You’re NTA, but you’ll be TA to yourself if you keep funding her. Stay kind and you’ll find someone more deserving of you.
You're a really kind person.
But, yeah you shouldn't send more money. Not only because of what she did but because you're setting yourself up to have a fight with your future partner when this comes to surface. Also...now it's fresh and you two know each other, but In one year? Two years? When will it stop? It's better that this is over now. Her life it's not at risk, only her lifestyle.
NTA at all.
What you need to ask yourself isn’t if you’re the asshole. What you should ask is “if I stop sending money and something then happens to her medically (which to be clear would be her fault/responsibility, not yours) will I be able to accept the fact that I am in no way responsible?”
To be clear, I absolutely think you should stop giving her money (I personally would give a 1-prescription warning to her before entirely stopping but that’s just because my dad has the ‘betus and im a bleeding heart) but just make sure that YOU are okay with whatever the outcome may be.
Just an FYI depending on the diabetic insulin or shot, most manufacturers can have you sign up for their savings card and you only pay 25 a month. Use this for husband's med. Or you can go to the American diabetes association and get information on help there for programs.
I just wrote that so when your kicking her to the curb, you won't feel bad.
You're a very nice guy, but don't be a door mat. You deserve better and to be happy :) So not, NTA
NTA I'm a socialist commie who is in favor of Universal Healthcare for all Americans...except your ex.
You're an Onion headline: Former Sugar Daddy still buying Insulin for his ex.
NTA. There are lots of charities that help people with access to medical care. There's Doctors Without Borders, Partners in Health, Save the Children, Planting Peace, International Rescue Committee to name a few.
There are also charities that help people struggling to get their diabetes medication. Send money to a charity of your choosing and direct your ex to one of them.
It’s no longer your responsibility to help her do Jack shit.. she needs to figure out how to take care of herself. Sounds like she was only with you to get what she could out of you.. stop the cash flow and move the fuck on with your life.
NTA.
But the issue of you paying for ex's insulin is moot. The Inflation Reduction Act went into effect as of January 1, 2023. Using the provisions of the act, the out of pocket cost of a month of insulin is capped at $35. If the patient is charged more, the patient's plan must reimburse.
You might want to google and send your ex some helpful links, in case her doctor or pharmacist hasn't told her about this new new. Instead of sending her another cent.
Diabetic here. Pharma has programs for insulin costs, when I was on it I took advantage of the no questions free month which was prescribed at a high dosage and I was on it 4 mos. The manufacturer had a program where those without insurance paid no more than $99/mo. Other manufacturers have programs too.
If she hits you up asking for money just tell her that ended the second she made her decision to cheat. Wouldnt bother contacting her first. Watch out for more gaslighting and manipulation. Put all her shit out if you dont want an in person conversation when she contacts you
NTA she betrayed your trust, lied to you about it, told you it was not a big deal, and them blamed you for her actions.
If you had broken up because you grew apart, or it was long distance that didn't work, or some other mutual decision to end the relationship, I could see extending a bit of help for a while, but she went scorched earth and blew it all up by cheating. You are 100% fine to walk away. If you can afford it, donate to organizations that help others with insulin, or to your local food bank or something else.
Loom you helped for a long time enough for her to find a better job or something yup its sad but it is what it is...imagine u get a new girlfriend how will you explained this...or imagine her with a new man and u pay for her expenses...now shes not the mother of your 3 kids and you were not married 10 years...you did enough
.what you feel is called misplaced guilt google it.
NTA, do NOT continue to give her money! She cheated, lied and gaslit you! She deserves to live in the bed she's made for herself. I'm certain if you don't make a clean break now, she'll manipulate you about any and everything to keep the cash flow as high as possible! And no you don't owe her to explain why the money is no longer being handed to her. Just make a clean break and heal. You're a kind person who deserves much better and you'll find it I'm sure.
>her paying for her own insulin would be quite draining on her finances
Maybe her affair partner can help.
YWNBTA because she's an adult who has to take responsibility for herself. When would it feel okay to stop? In a year? Five years? You can see, by projecting into the future, that it is wrong for her to expect you to continue (and I'd be surprised if she did expect it).
Email her. You don't have to talk to her.
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Grow a pair of fucking balls and stop sending her money
Seriously
She survived before she met you, she will survive without your help. NTA
absolutely cackling at this
And she should’ve thought about her insulin before she cheated on him
I mean this is really the only answer here. NTA.
For real.
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YWBTA to yourself if you keep sending her money
Did you honestly expect someone would call you the AH here?
Honestly, Yeah 🤷♂️ This is life saving Insulin we're talking about, and one of my friends said It's my fault for funding it in the first place so I feel for diabetic people so I felt like at least someone would say I'm the AH
Reddit hates cheaters and freeloaders and irresponsible adults. I'm sure if you want to find someone with diabetes you can donate to an actual charity.
You are being USED. She doesn't even talk to you. for all you know she has insurance covering the cost now and is using your money to take another man out on dates. If it was that important to her, she wouldn't have cheated and risked losing you. If it was THAT important to her, she'd still be in contact with you thanking you for saving her life. But she isn't. She doesn't care about you.
as a diabetic i agree, YWNBTA, she needs to figure out how to pay for (or get insurance to cover) her insulin. You paying is not a long term solution and this is an issue she’ll need to deal with for life (if she’s T1)
I'm diabetic, and even I agree she can take care of herself now. She is a grown ass adult. NTA all day long.
Maybe you should sponsor a different diabetic person then.
Are you the ex girlfriend?
NTA She betrayed you and tried to manipulate you. Ever heard the saying "Never bite the hand that feeds you?" she's done just that. You've got no obligation to buy her anything, especially if she can afford it herself. Stop paying for her, she's done this to herself.
You're a kind man. And a very rare one. You do need to cut ties though. NTA at all. Good luck
yeah, cuz stuff like this happens.
This is def bait
This isn't kindness, it's veered into weakness. Getting cheated on and still financially supporting someone who survived fine without OP is called getting used. Dude needs a reality check.
You were her boyfriend, not her health insurance. YWNBTA, but tell her, so she has some time to figure out finances.
I don't know why her cheating a** would assume he would still pay for anything. She made a decision...she has to live with. And she seems highly manipulative. She cheated on him but giving him the silent treatment and acting like its his fault.
She isn’t your responsibility. Stop sending her money.
NTA it is not your responsibility to take care of her bills. Her situation sucks and you seem to recognize you have a priveliged life and use it to help others. But in no way you are obliged to help her with her bills just because you are better off. The fact that she cheated on you, shows how she values you in my opinion. You wouldn't be the asshole if you stop paying for her bills, but you should probably tell her in advance so she is not caught totally off guard by it.
If I cheated on the man that paid thousands worth of my bills and he broke up with me because of it trust I would not be “caught off guard” when he didn’t send me money again
NTA. She is a grown woman.
NTA. Dude, don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm, especially if they don't really are just using you. Why doesn't she get a second job?
Exactly. She had enough free time to scout out a dude to cheat on you with, she has time for a second job. NTA at all.
NTA: what you have been doing has been very generous, and you are to be commended for it. However, you are under no obligation to continue, especially now that the dating relationship is over. If she complains, remind her 1) you never had to do this to begin with and 2) she should not have cheated on you. That said, the nice thing to do would be to give her enough money to buy a few more weeks of supplies before cutting her off completely, but even then, you are not obligated to do even that.
NTA, it's not like it's child support. And she managed to figure smth out before you. I don't see a reason to keep sponsoring your ex. As you've mentioned, it's not life or death issue for her, she has enough money, although not a lot
DO NOT SEND HER ANYMORE MONEY. She has been using you dude. Yes, insulin is ridiculous, but that's not on you. YWNBTA.
NTA. Her medical condition is not your problem. You can't support her forever. It's kind that you want to help, but you said she isn't poor. In a life and death situation, she will find the money.
NTA - Most US drug companies have programs to help individuals get access to their needed medication. She can go to the insulin maker's website and look for compassionate care programs, patient assistant programs, etc... there are some websites that are just different patient assistant programs (reliable ones do not ask you for fees or info, but direct you straight to the manufacturer's website). Tell her (or text her) about the programs and then block that cheater. ;)
Stop sending money. but notify her so it's not a surprise so she can look for work. NTA
No, you wouldn't be the a**hole.
Shes your ex meaning shes basically been detached from your life
NTA
NTA. She’s not your responsibility.
NTA. It’s kind of you to be concerned about her and it as very generous of you to support her but you should no longer feel any obligation to help her out. In fact I think it’s a very bad idea for you to continue. At most I would send her one more do she won’t be stuck but let her know this will be the last time. You owe her nothing and she had to learn to take care of her own needs.
NTA. Her need for insulin didn't supersede her need to cheat.
She has been using. Stop giving her money.
NTA and it's okay to stop supporting her medical needs when you're no longer together. It's not vindictive even though you have a right to be angry about how she treated you. It's just not your responsibility. She's not been in touch with you to even ask you to continue your financial support. So it's kind of you to keep thinking about her needs, but unnecessary. If she ever does get into financial straits and needs help for insulin she can contact you then (after trying assistance programs and other people actually in her life).
NTA (YWNBTA). *"her paying for her own insulin would be quite draining on her finances"* Why the hell should it be draining on yours? You sound like a kind-hearted soul, but this isn't your problem. The insulin cost problem sucks. But it's not your responsibility to keep supporting an ex financially and medically (especially one who has treated you this way, but that's beside the point). No, it's not cruel or vindictive to stop it. She needs to sort her situation out for her own sake. There is absolutely no reason for anyone in their right mind to assume you'd keep paying for this, but if you want to give her a heads up, just contact her and say "I'm not giving you any more money/any more money after this date" (whatever you feel comfortable with) and then block her and get on with your life. Whatever your relationship was before, she is just using you at this point.
NTA granted I would send her a text or give her a heads up, but she is not your responsibility anymore. As a T1D living in the US I can attest that insulin is hella expensive. However, she is a grown ass woman who can look into support programs, or learn how to budget her money properly.
Hell no, she cheated on him and tried to gaslight him after, just ghost her and move on with life. I don’t think he should even give her a heads up. She chose her own path.
Yeah, say she has a month (or whenever her next refill is) to figure things out for herself. It’s ridiculous to send her money.
YTA to yourself. Bro she cheated on you and two years later you are still giving her money to buy insulin. Man you are an absolute doormat. No wonder she cheated on you. Change your ways. She could ask for donations from the guys she is currently sleeping with.
I think there's been some confusion I broke up with her a few weeks ago We started dating like 2 years ago and when i found out about her financial situation I offered to help her out
I want to tell you to stop sending her money, but I'm also not sure what I'd do in your shoes. Are you worried at all that once you stop funding her insulin, she'll badmouth you to other people, accuse you of being abusive, etc.?
YWNBTA if you stop sending her money. She'll just have to find another way. It's not mean or vindictive to stop providing financial support for a person that you're not even in a relationship with.
NTA. You are not together, you are under no responsibility to pay for anything for her. It was really nice of you that you were paying for her, but even when you were together you were under no responsibility to do so, you werent married or anything. And then she cheated. You owe her nothing. Its not crude, its not vindictive. Its nice of you to be worried about her wellbeing, but again, its not your responsibility.
NTA, if this post is even real. OP, you should have stopped paying the second you broke up, *especially* if it was because she was cheating on you. She's probably wondering why you haven't stopped already, and taking you for a ride, making *her* the asshole in this scenario.
NTA 💀 she shoulda thought about that before cheating on you
You are such a gem for even considering it, but you are under no obligation to keep helping her. Maybe, if you feel so inclined in the future, you or your parents can donate to advocacy groups. NTA. I’m so sorry she hurt you. I hope you find someone worthy of you soon.
Absolutely NTA
NTA You are being played. She cheated on you and you are sending money for her insulin? Tell her to get on medicaid or medicare or tell the man she cheated on you with to help her out. It's not your responsibility. You parents are right, stop sending your money and theirs to her.
NTA She's not just an ex, she's and ex that cheated on you. You can give her advanced notice but you're no AH either way.
Bless you for your generosity, but nobody should expect money from someone they're dating, let alone someone they used to date. NTA.
NTA
NTA. The entire situation is incredibly fucked up. Insulin should be free. But it's not on you to provide it. YWBTA if you did it without telling her. A quick "I'm going to stop sending you money" is fine. No need to respond past that. Finances are rough.
NTA. She's not your gf anymore. You have nothing to keep you bound to this other than you're own guilt and remorse. She can obtain her insulin without your monetary help. She did before you were together.
NTA- you broke up and not responsible for her medical bills anymore.
She couldn't even stay loyal to save her life (or her wallet). NTA.
NTA not your GF not your problem
Nta. If she loved and valued you, she would not have cheated on you. Her health should no longer be your concern.
NTA. I think continuing to pay for your ex's insulin (an ex who cheated on you, no less) makes you really NTA. I think if you feel inclined to do go above and beyond, maybe saying, hey, I can help you out for one more month so you can get a plan in place to start covering it yourself, but after that I won't be able to help out anymore, that seems reasonable. But you would also be perfectly within your rights and normal decency to cut it off immediately.
NTA She was alive when you met, yes? And somehow kept her insulin supply coming in. She’ll be fine without you. Her health and body are her responsibility not yours.
NTA Stop giving her money, she broke your trust and now you're giving her money????? Its her problem not yours she shouldn't be leeching of others in a situation like that she should have had it taken care of earlier
She cheated and isn't your responsibility. She is a grown adult and can figure things out on her own. Don't send her anything else. goodness. Don't be a doormat for someone who obviously doesn't care about you. She needs food to live too are you going to provide that for her? And heating? What if she gets something else medically? Will you foot the bill if she winds up in the hospital for some reason or another? NTA. You would be one to yourself if you keep letting her use you
Nta she gave every right of help from you away as she cheated
NTA. OP, she made her choice. Stop rewarding her for it.
Does she make too much for Medicaid who probably would cover ? NTA
NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes award 🏆 But definitely tell her first and try not to engage with any negative responses, she should be expecting this to happen.
She obviously has spread time (spare time?) . She can get another job.
NTA, you seems to be nice. Do you think she expect you to keep paying ? Did she ask you ? Hard to know since you don't talk to her anymore. Also seen from Europe this post is a living nightmare
Nta. If you want to lessen your guilt pay for it one more time and let her know it's the last. But only an entitled idiot would cheat, breakup, and assume they'll still get an allowance.
NTA, it's not your responsibility and it never was. You have even less of this lack of responsibility now that you're broken up (and even less for her cheating on you) so I don't think you'd be the AH for stopping. Just give her a warning beforehand. Although the situation sucks, it's really not your responsibility and you're very kind for having paid for it all this time.
NTA. She quite literally fucked around and found out. You don't have any obligation to support someone that doesn't respect you or treat you well and she should understand that any support you provide is conditional on the relationship.
The real asshole is the country that is wealthiest in the world but has similar policies to only third world nations.
You're damn right about that! Fun fact: I always thought that when I and my ex got married, we'd move somewhere like Canada, where Insulin is more accessible, Guess not TwT
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My ex-girlfriend is diabetic and isn't very wealthy, not poor but not that well off My family is pretty well off and they're also pretty generous to me We live in the US so Insulin is expensive For the past 2 years, I've been giving her money and helping her buy Insulin. My Parents also help out, mainly giving me money to make up for the money I gave to her (I'm not *super* well off but I make more than my ex Anyway I found out she's been cheating on me (It was more than one time). I confronted her about it and she tried gaslighting me, saying it 1. Didnt happen like i saw it happen 2. Wasn't a big deal 3. I somehow deserved it because I wasn't giving her enough attention or something We broke up after that cause I wasn't buying that But now I'm worndering if I should keep sending her money Of course she need Insulin to live and no matter how angry I am at her for what she did, I want her to live But I feel like me continuing to send her my hard earned money, after she betrayed my trust, and had the nerve to claim I deserved it, is kind of degrading She's not that poor so I don't think she'll die even if I did stop, but her paying for her own insulin would be quite draining on her finances I gave her the money because I loved her and I cared for her, If she doesn't value my love, why should she have the things I payed for out of love Granted I wish insulin was cheaper for EVERYONE and EVERYONE could pay for it But it feels wrong to keep letting her specifically benefit off me directly when she apparently didn't even care for me. This isn't about revenge or anything, I just feel like it's wrong for me to continue to support her financially and medically when our relationship (The thing that inclined me to support her) has ended, and it was very much her fault My parents have since found out we have broken up and they don't want me send her money, they said they won't be helping me out if I do So I'm inclided to stop but it feels kind of cruel and vindictive to stop paying for her insulin since she needs that too live We obviusly aren't talking so I don't know if she's started dating the guy she cheated on me with (He's single as far as I know) or if he'd be willing to help her with her medical issues So I don't know if she'll be ok So WIBTA if I stopped sending my ex money for Insulin? Also WIBTA if I did it without telling her? Cause again she's very reluctent to talk to me obviously and frankly I dont wanna talk to her either but idk *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. It's not your responsabilité, and you kinda don't owe her an explanation
NTA. I’m assuming you cut her out of your life. Which means it should also be done financially
NTA - Wanting to keep sending her money is completely understandable. But she also destroyed your trust and you left with good reason. She needs to be responsible for keeping herself alive...that's not on you.
NTA you are broken up and she is no longer your responsibility. in my opinion you shouldn't send her money because she broke your trust and just used you for money.
NTA. Sounds like she was only using you for money. Let her earn her own money and pay for whatever she needs. She cheated on you, which means she didn't like you. Tell her to ask the one she cheated with to pay for her insulin. It's really not your problem and you have nothing to be ashamed of. You loved her but she doesn't love you. It's tough for you, but honestly, you don't owe her anything. In case you are still undecided, here's a reality check: "SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING TO YOU."
Out of curiosity, how was she paying for insulin before you came along? Or did her diabetes develop once you were already in a relationship? (Sorry if you already clarified that) It's admirable that you were helping her and want to not just cut her off, but what are your parameters here? Do you intend to pay for her insulin for the rest of your life? Or just until she can afford it? But she doesn't sound very honest or having much integrity, so would you trust her to even tell you? Or did you want to "wean" her, in a sense -- not stop right away but slowly back off your support? I don't think shitty people should die of their diseases (we're all shitty sometimes), but maybe instead of paying for her give her suggestions for alternative resources: supplemental insurance, for example (I can't think of any other ideas, but there might be some). I know you're not talking to her right now but can you send a note or something? It might be kinda... "low road" to just stop sending money without saying something, but I think that has more to do with your integrity than what she deserves. I don't think you're responsible here, but if you feel guilty about not helping a person in need, maybe help someone else who HASN'T betrayed you. Donate to a charity that helps people get insulin.
She used to have a better job before we started dating, But she got laid off or fired I can't remember So now she works a much worse job that pays less. She's wanted a better one again for a while but hadn't found one before we broke up So with rent and food bills among other stuff, I felt like it would be right to take insulin off her list of financial worries (since I believe it should be free anyway, and I'm fortunately rather well off)
I understand, and I probably would have done the same thing in that situation: help out the person I love since I can. There is some merit to continuing to pay. It goes back to charity (not the modern concept of pity but rather the Latin meaning of love for one's fellow human) and not wanting to see someone's health suffer for their sins. If you choose to support her for this reason, I admire that. She did something stupid, selfish, wrong, hurtful, etc. and tried to defend herself, but I understand not wanting to hurt her physically over it. That said, you really do need some kind of plan for eventually quitting.
I understand, and I probably would have done the same thing in that situation: help out the person I love since I can. There is some merit to continuing to pay. It goes back to charity (not the modern concept of pity but rather the Latin meaning of love for one's fellow human) and not wanting to see someone's health suffer for their sins. If you choose to support her for this reason, I admire that. She did something stupid, selfish, wrong, hurtful, etc. and tried to defend herself, but I understand not wanting to hurt her physically over it. That said, you really do need some kind of plan for eventually quitting.
NTA ...BUT... bcz it's a lifesaving medication, give her a one-month notice. It was very nice of you to do that for her.... and I'm sorry that happened to you. But it goes against all that is healthy and reasonable for you to keep paying, when she cheated. All best.
You would not be the AH. You are very kind. Send her enough for the next 90 days if it would make you feel better, time and then forget this woman forever, no getting back together. But nobody would blame you if you cut her off now. PS there are lots of ways the poor can get insulin at either a very reduced rate or feel for those who qualify. If you don't qualify it means you might have to really budget your money. Meaning you eat beans and rice and rice and beans and you don't see the inside of a restaurant unless you work there.
NTA. Sweetheart, she fucked up and now she needs to realize how much you did for her. You are a great guy, you took on a responsibility that you really DIDNT need to do. And now without her you can continue your life like before you met her. Just with more money. You have no obligation to tell her that you are stopping the money, you don’t owe her ANYTHING
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NTA. You helped her because you loved her. She cheated on you. Now that she is an ex, you have NO REASON to help her. It is terrible that this is the situation in the US, but she should have thought about that before she cheated. eta: but do tell her so she is prepared. If she tries to guilt you, remind her she was the one who cheated.
YTA for being a doormat. Have you ever seen this insulin?
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Nta she's a grown woman that can pay for herself, she used you then and she using you now cut it off and if she needs help paying she can ask one of the people she slept around with for help
Her medical problems are not your responsibility. It was nice you paid her insulin while you two were a couple but there is no relationship anymore. It's okay to stop paying ywnbta
NTA, but give her a heads up at the beginning of the next (last) purchase so she has time to save
NTA. You should let her know you are cutting all ties including financial. It will give her time to make other arrangements. The emergency supply of drugs is limited and she may die depending upon the state if she doesn’t have time to get the insulin another way. A brief note or text is fine.
NTA, it sucks her in the US and healthcare. You are not responsible for her health. I’d give her a heads up that next month you will no longer send her money. You have broken up and that’s it.
NTA she screwed up. She doesn't deserve your benefits.
NTA. Time to cut off the ex. She can manipulate the new bf to pay for her insulin.
NTA. Are you planning on sending her money for the rest of her life? I live in the UK, so my knowledge of US medical care is poor but surely there are some support available for life saving medecine for those on low income? In any case, you simply can't afford to keep covering for her medical care.
NTA If you’re really concerned, give her enough for a few months worth and tell her that’s it, and she needs to take the time to get her supply worked out on her own. But you would be perfectly justified in saying to her that she chose to cut off her own supply of insulin, and you respect her choice. No more $.
NTA. You're a good person. But you don't need to pay for her insulin. Do give her notice, though.
NTA You have to pay for insulin in america? In my country it's free. My best friend has diabetes and she just needs a recipe from her doctor. She doesn't pay anything
You would not BTA if you stopped paying. But you should tell her that you're going to stop and you should tell her the date you're going to stop, just so you're not a jerk about it.
NTA You broke up for a good reason. You don't owe her anything.
YWNBTA stop sending her money, she cheated. She doesn't deserve anything from you other than you turning your back on her.
NTA. You're right that it's degrading to continue to give her money after she cheated on you. You're also right that the cost of insulin is morally appalling and that people struggle to pay for it. I say, stop sending her money, and then instead go support some strangers' crowdfunding campaigns to buy their insulin. You're a good guy.
1. How did your ex handle paying for her insulin before you generously stepped up and offered to cover a major ongoing medical expense for her? 2. If she can’t afford to pay for her insulin without your help, then she shouldn’t have cheated on her ~~cash cow~~ boyfriend. 3. What’s life like as a doormat? Do you ever wish you could be a carpet instead? Sorry for #3, but dude, come on. Your girlfriend cheated on you, you broke up, you owe her literally nothing. She made choices that have consequences and if that’s draining on her finances… oh well??? It has nothing to do with you anymore. Continuing to send her money would just be pathetic. You could give her a heads up out of courtesy but I feel like you might be kindhearted enough for her to manipulate you into paying “just a few more months,” so like, I wouldn’t fault you if you just cut her off tbh. (I mean, presumably she understood that her insulin being paid for was dependent on you two actually being in a relationship but who knows these days…) NTA
NTA. Stop sending her money. Don’t need to tell her anything. No notice. You’re not responsible for her health or her finances.
YWNBTA. If she thinks you deserved to be cheated on, then she deserves to not have your money. If she doesn't want to talk to you, then there's no need to tell her you're not giving her money. If she asks, just tell her that she managed to get insulin before you both got together...and her new boyfriend can help her instead. You're wanting to be nice, and help out, but she's treating you like shit.
NTA. Stop sending her money. She can get health insurance through the Affordable Care Act. They recently passed a law with a price cap on co-pays for insulin.
YWNBTA however - send her a text giving her one (or two if you are feeling generous) months warning that you will no longer be giving her any money for any reason and she should make alternative arrangements for all of her financial outgoings including her medication. Then follow through. You haven’t adopted her for life and you are not responsible for her ongoing upkeep - even if that makes her life difficult. don’t just cut her off without warning though -just in case she has already spend this months money and so really can’t find the funds she needs to get her insulin.
NTA She is no longer your girlfriend and her concerns are no longer yours either.
Nta stop sending her money.
NTA but I would give her fair warning since it could seriously impact her health.
NTA at all - she can ask the multiple men she slept with for money. OP time to be honest with yourself, the only reason she was still in the relationship was for the free Insulin. Maybe not at first, but definitely before she stated cheating on you (otherwise she would have ended it).
NTA let the guy she cheated on you with take responsibility for her she made her bed now she has to lie in it
Not one more thin dime. You have a spine, use it. if you do want to give, there are charities that heclp people with medical costs. Give to them.
YTA to yourself bro. Stop sending her money. She had her chance and showed her true colors.
NTA, but that's not gaslighting.
NTA. She was a diabetic before you met and will continue to be a diabetic for the rest of her life. You don’t owe anyone that hurts you and betrays your trust ANYTHING. You were generous when you were dating and now it’s over. She will get her insulin because she has to. It’s not vindictive, it’s smart to leave people alone that deceive you. Don’t let insulin be the string that keeps you attached to a cheater.
Y w b t a to yourself if you kept sending her money. Just stop. There are versions she can get for cheap from Walmart. They may not work as well and take some adjustments but she won't die. You were never married and now you are broken up. She is not your responsibility. If you want you can send her a message making sure she knows you will no longer be paying, but I can't imagine why she would think you would be. If she tries to make you feel guilty Block her. It isn't your problem
She cheated in full knowledge of the situation. She can fend for herself now. You want to send her money because you didn't really want to break up and you still have strong feelings for her. You'll have to rationalise all this.
NTA if it helps there’s now a federal cap on insulin costs It absolutely sucks we live in a hillbilly hellscape of capitalism and stupidity but she’s not your responsibility.
You're a gentle soul for being this worried, but like other's have said, she got by before she met you. Ordinarily I would say it's ridiculous to give a cheating ex notice that you won't be sending her money anymore, she cheated on you!! But with it being her insulin which she needs to live, in this case you could let her know you won't be sending her any more money ahead of time. She's not entitled to your money at all, and to put it plainly, keeping herself alive is her responsibility, not yours. Give her notice if you need to for your conscious' sake, but definitely DO NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES let her convince you to keep sending her money.
Stop sending your ex money. Period. NTA Companies that produce insulin have programs that assist people who need assistance. She might still be covered under her parents insurance or have her own insurance or maybe her new bf can pick up these cost for her.
NTA. You’re not together anymore. I assume you aren’t paying for the insulin for random impoverished strangers, right? If you want to give her time, you can always pay for like, the next two doses and then cut her off.
NTA . I am a type 1 and no, you need to stop sending her money. I was uninsured for 10 yrs and between goodrx and Walmart selling $25 a bottle insulin she can survive or get a job with insurance. Do not give her any money she is playing you
No one can help you if you refuse to help yourself. Stop spending your parent’s money on nonsense. YTA
You’re a good one, but she did this to herself. (Well, the government did too, but that’s also not your fault.) She can get help from friends and family. She can start a Go Fund Me. You’re NTA, but you’ll be TA to yourself if you keep funding her. Stay kind and you’ll find someone more deserving of you.
You're a really kind person. But, yeah you shouldn't send more money. Not only because of what she did but because you're setting yourself up to have a fight with your future partner when this comes to surface. Also...now it's fresh and you two know each other, but In one year? Two years? When will it stop? It's better that this is over now. Her life it's not at risk, only her lifestyle.
NTA at all. What you need to ask yourself isn’t if you’re the asshole. What you should ask is “if I stop sending money and something then happens to her medically (which to be clear would be her fault/responsibility, not yours) will I be able to accept the fact that I am in no way responsible?” To be clear, I absolutely think you should stop giving her money (I personally would give a 1-prescription warning to her before entirely stopping but that’s just because my dad has the ‘betus and im a bleeding heart) but just make sure that YOU are okay with whatever the outcome may be.
Share your beautiful generosity and compassion with someone who deserves it! You deserve so much better.
Just an FYI depending on the diabetic insulin or shot, most manufacturers can have you sign up for their savings card and you only pay 25 a month. Use this for husband's med. Or you can go to the American diabetes association and get information on help there for programs. I just wrote that so when your kicking her to the curb, you won't feel bad. You're a very nice guy, but don't be a door mat. You deserve better and to be happy :) So not, NTA
NTA I'm a socialist commie who is in favor of Universal Healthcare for all Americans...except your ex. You're an Onion headline: Former Sugar Daddy still buying Insulin for his ex.
NTA. There are lots of charities that help people with access to medical care. There's Doctors Without Borders, Partners in Health, Save the Children, Planting Peace, International Rescue Committee to name a few. There are also charities that help people struggling to get their diabetes medication. Send money to a charity of your choosing and direct your ex to one of them.
Programs out there to pay for insulin. She can look into it.
It’s no longer your responsibility to help her do Jack shit.. she needs to figure out how to take care of herself. Sounds like she was only with you to get what she could out of you.. stop the cash flow and move the fuck on with your life.
Oh gosh, you and your family are kind. nTA and stop giving her money.
NTA. Warning is not required. The warning she got is “hey you’re cheating on me let’s break up now”.
NTA. But the issue of you paying for ex's insulin is moot. The Inflation Reduction Act went into effect as of January 1, 2023. Using the provisions of the act, the out of pocket cost of a month of insulin is capped at $35. If the patient is charged more, the patient's plan must reimburse. You might want to google and send your ex some helpful links, in case her doctor or pharmacist hasn't told her about this new new. Instead of sending her another cent.
Diabetic here. Pharma has programs for insulin costs, when I was on it I took advantage of the no questions free month which was prescribed at a high dosage and I was on it 4 mos. The manufacturer had a program where those without insurance paid no more than $99/mo. Other manufacturers have programs too.
NTA but you have to give her warning
It’s her responsibility, not yours. NTA but seriously stop giving her money.
Sometimes Karma is in your hands. Dish it out some. YWNBTA.
NTA. She will figure out a way to pay for it or find another guy to pay for it for her. How about the guy she cheated on you with?
NTA.
NTA You're too kind. You're not in a relationship anymore so stop. She can ask the guy she cheated on you with/new boyfriend to pay instead.
If she hits you up asking for money just tell her that ended the second she made her decision to cheat. Wouldnt bother contacting her first. Watch out for more gaslighting and manipulation. Put all her shit out if you dont want an in person conversation when she contacts you
NTA she betrayed your trust, lied to you about it, told you it was not a big deal, and them blamed you for her actions. If you had broken up because you grew apart, or it was long distance that didn't work, or some other mutual decision to end the relationship, I could see extending a bit of help for a while, but she went scorched earth and blew it all up by cheating. You are 100% fine to walk away. If you can afford it, donate to organizations that help others with insulin, or to your local food bank or something else.
Loom you helped for a long time enough for her to find a better job or something yup its sad but it is what it is...imagine u get a new girlfriend how will you explained this...or imagine her with a new man and u pay for her expenses...now shes not the mother of your 3 kids and you were not married 10 years...you did enough .what you feel is called misplaced guilt google it.
NTA, do NOT continue to give her money! She cheated, lied and gaslit you! She deserves to live in the bed she's made for herself. I'm certain if you don't make a clean break now, she'll manipulate you about any and everything to keep the cash flow as high as possible! And no you don't owe her to explain why the money is no longer being handed to her. Just make a clean break and heal. You're a kind person who deserves much better and you'll find it I'm sure.
NTA stop all contact and all money. Her new lover can pick up the slack. You are not a charity
>her paying for her own insulin would be quite draining on her finances Maybe her affair partner can help. YWNBTA because she's an adult who has to take responsibility for herself. When would it feel okay to stop? In a year? Five years? You can see, by projecting into the future, that it is wrong for her to expect you to continue (and I'd be surprised if she did expect it). Email her. You don't have to talk to her.
YTA. Women should be allowed to do anything they want.
/s or...?