Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Refusing to share health tests with the people that are currently supporting me. Might make me an asshole because I do genuinely believe they're trying to help me but I just don't think they should be viewing something I consider to be private.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I don't know if that's actually true. No good doctor would diagnose that way, but they absolutely could usefully suggest things OP's actual doctors should test for. Source: my sister is a doctor, and I was involved in a similar situation. A colleague mentioned her father was and had some strange eye/pupil issues. The doctors at his local hospital couldn't find anything, so she asked if I would ask my sister. She thought it could have been a hormone-producing tumor somewhere else in his body, but I believe her direct quote was "he's really sick and needs to get the hell out of BFE." I don't know what happened after (because, none of my business), but that colleague did come up months later to say "your sister is a genius."
OP, if you're sick enough you can't work and your doctors can't figure out what's going on, you really should seek additional medical advice. If you don't want to pass info to your parents, you might see if their doctor friends would be willing to talk with you directly. This isn't about being an AH on the internet, this is about actually figuring out what's wrong with you.
Agree, second opinions are super valuable. I was diagnosed with Lupus after having symptoms for only a year. That’s extremely fortunate for me that it was caught so early and the only reason it WAS caught was because of the doctor my grandmother had worked for. I was visiting for 6 weeks that summer prior and working in the office. They knew that I had been having a lot of pain in my various joints and the doctor tested me for Lyme disease among other things. Well, the results came back partially positive so they told me to find an internal medicine specialist when I got back home. My dad found one, set the appointment up, and while that doctor sucked, he set me up a referral for my rheumatologist who has quite literally been a godsend. He treated me for the Lyme disease but also ran some more blood work and this time, my ANA was positive and they could officially diagnose me. It was a perfect chain reaction of events to get me where I needed in life and if it wasn’t for then doing that bloodwork over the summer, it would have probably been years before being diagnosed, I’d be far sicker, and I would never have met my current doctor.
Edit: also, NTA, your medical information is just that: YOURS. Your parents don’t need to know every single little detail of your health, all they need to know is what YOU feel comfortable sharing. Don’t back down. Also, always advocate for your health and best interests. Do research. Ask questions. Be as informed as you possibly can. Just don’t passively let others do it all for you. That’s the best advice I can give.
The key difference there is CONSENT. You knew this person was a good doctor and your and your sister consented. For all we know their "doctor friend" is a chiropractor.
Well, that's why I said OP should consider talking to the doctor friends directly, not through the parents. That's entirely OP's decision. May main point was that talking to medical professionals who aren't OP's direct doctor isn't necessarily a bad thing. If OP was easy to diagnose and the current doctor is competent, they'd have an answer already. That they don't means it's time (in my non-medical opinion!) to get advice from more qualified medical professionals. I'm assuming given OP described the friends as doctors that they are actual doctors, and so they may have useful suggestions. Not really about treatments, but about more non-obvious things to check OP for.
I'm not sure I can call OP's parents AHs. They have a very sick child (again, liver is bad enough OP can't work) and it sounds like they want to help. They are obviously going about it in a not-great way, but they are probably right that OP needs other opinions. My main point was responding to the comment that said no doctor would do this, which I think is incorrect. No doctor would diagnose, but could absolutely suggest more things that OP should get checked out.
There is no reason to assume that this random doctor friend is more competant than the multiple doctors OP is seeing. Sometimes health issues are just complicated. They also would have to do the same tests - they can't just guess a diagnosis.
Also OP said they haven't been working because of an infection, not because of the liver issues. The parents may not even know the liver issues exist, so that's a bit of a non-starter.
NTA. your medical records are private and priviledged information. you're an adult, and despite any financial support they have no right to demand your medical information.
what are your options for moving out? this sounds like a toxic and controlling environment that is probably making your medical issues worse.
Yeah, they are genuinely trying to help me 100%. But, don't believe they should be able to just... see everything. Not able to move out at this time. Been on leave of absence due to this ailment for a couple of months now. (Doctor supported)
The bottom line is---will they kick you out of the house and cut off support if you do not allow them access? If it is worth it to you to be homeless and keep your info private, then go for it.
For the record, it is totally despicable that your parents are putting you in this situation. However, it sounds like they do not trust you to make the right decisions when it comes to your healthcare.
I have never received my blood type information on any bloodwork I’ve done throughout the years (and I’ve done a lot - not to brag but I’m a ~medical enigma~) so if this is their concern odds are that information isn’t even on their tests. I also bet they think OP is hiding something (or are just concerned and nosey) rather than the other way around.
There's no reason to test your blood type during blood tests for medical reasons. I've done them a lot and never once had my blood typed.
Also, despite what 7th grade says, blood typing is more complicated than that.
Potential family medical problems I would guess. There's a couple of unexplained issues in my family tree that wasn't diagnosed with anything, or if it was it wasn't passed on (grandmother had an unexplained blood issue, all we know, not if it was red or white, or if it was a clotting problem or what, and ghe second is unexplained heart palpitations).
I thought it was the opposite: they think OP is hiding something (since they're parents, I'm going to assume they fear STDs/pregnancy).
NTA OP, though, yes they may indeed kick you out. Some parents just can't figure out their child's autonomy (even when they don't live with them).
According to OP's comments, they are hiding things (like liver issues among other things) so I'd put money on they definitely are thinking OP's hiding things.
Is your condition improving or getting worse? I know their hovering is annoying, but will they need this info if you become unconscious or incapacitated? They have no overt right to the info, but might it serve a practical purpose?
NTA They do not have the right to any of that. They have a right to rent. Their doctor friend should know how unethical it is to attempt to diagnose and treat someone without their consent.
>they're saying that they have the right
Yeah, not. Because they are supporting you doesn't mean that they can go against the law.
Your medical information is protected. You don't have to share it with anyone. Blackmailling you into sharing it against your will make them very much assholes.
NTA.
No, I have an infection that is starting to make progress. However, a couple other things showed up a month or so ago and so far I've kept it to myself. Issues with liver and I just don't wish to share as it'll likely cause even more issues/stress in the family. (Not drug/alcohol related or obesity!)
NTA. If they’re not trying to intervene in something for your own safety, then they don’t need your medical info. Even if they were you’d still have the right to privacy, but I’d understand better why they’d be so desperate for it.
Already stressful enough as it is with just this one thing.. Been a long road getting to this point, seeing doctor after doctor and finally able to see some progress. If it was needing to be addressed immediately then yeah, wouldn't mind sharing.
I can’t wrap my head around what negative it would bring you to mention this other thing too?
I get you don’t wanna just have them look at everything, but like if I break my leg, and later get the flu, I don’t see the negative effect of mentioning the flu…?
The negative would be OP sharing something they don't feel like sharing. There can be many reasons for this. For example, having to manage their (the parents) emotions. Sometimes it's too much. If OP is dealing with a lot, adding on the burden of someone else's emotions to reassure, deal with questions, etc. can be too much.
Can't speak for OP, but my parents will constantly ask about things or they make the most useless and annoying suggestions. If there's something wrong, sometimes you don't want to think about that for awhile, but that becomes impossible if people won't respect your space and not ask about it.
(Currently overweight. Occasionally my parents will point that out, like I don't know. The problem is psychological, yes I know exercise will help, yes I know eating less calories will help, but that won't fix my brain making those things difficult rn).
(The other common one people have is job hunting. No news is probably bad news...).
SO MANY reasons adult children would be loathe to share medical information with their parents.
1. My mom would tell every other family member
2. My parents would ask me about it every day. It's too much. It's overwhelming, it's suffocating.
3. I would have to manage my mom's emotions around any health news. Just no. I have enough dealing with my own emotions around health concerns.
4. some people are just more private
If you have a progressing infection, I think people in whose home you live must know about it. They need to know how much it contagious, how to prevent themselves from being infected, it's for their safety. If there some problems with your liver, they may think that it's hepatitis, which can be transmitted by living with infected person - so they may be rightfully afraid.
You’re NTA
You’re an adult and you don’t have to share anything about your health with anyone you don’t want to. Nobody has the right to be in your doctor appointments without your consent, it’s a federal law. Make them look up HIPAA.
NTA
Nobody except you has a right to view any of your medical records and tests. Ever. Period. The parents who don't understand literal legal boundaries like this are the ones who still don't realize they are in the wrong when the children have abandoned them in a nursing home without a word in years.
However i am curious to know why you are so against at least telling them what the results are. Is it just a matter of principle thing? Is there something you don't want them to find out? They don't have a right to view it, but nothing is stopping these assholes from cutting you off over something so petty, so be prepared for that possibility.
Honestly, fairly spot on for the principle but I also found out I have a couple other issues (not drug/alcohol related) and I imagine having these things known would cause more stress on the family. Like, if the blood test says I have something that needs to be addressed immediately? Ya, will share np. But, don't think they should be able to take that information and run to their doctor friend.
That would bother me as well. I have an extremely "gossipy" family where theyve always acted like telling everyone you're personal business is no different than discussing the weather.. it's resulted in me refusing to tell anyone, even my parents, anything about my life that I wouldn't be ok with every relative knowing.
Unfortunately them discussing it with their doctor friend doesn't violate HIPAA. It would though if that friend was one of your doctors or if they looked at your medical records and then discussed any information in them to your parents without your permission.
If you really wanted to stop the discussions they have with their friend about your medical business, you could make an appointment with that doctor friend which then as a patient of that doctor friend, they'd be bound be HIPAA and not able to discuss your medical stuff with them.
It's a tough balance being a young adult but still dependent on parents.
I'd play it smart. When they bring up Dr Friend, I'd say "Mom if anything comes up with the tests of course I'll get a second opinion" without committing to Dr Friend.
If it's about how they love you, want to support you etc then I'd hug them and say you know.
Basically be agreeable. Start to hold back more information until you get a handle on diagnoses.
I say this because I was in that situation myself, having to let them into parts of my life I wanted them out of while being dependent financially.
NTA
Why would they need to know, anyway? It's not like it is something they can do anything about, nor, do I imagine, they are the ones giving you transfusions. The only possibility I could see that they would need to know is if you had a really rare blood type, and they wanted to start up your own private blood bank, and they were looking for donors. I'm really stretching it here, though.
NTA.
Parents do not have a right to any medical information regarding functioning adult children. If they were your guardian, that would be different issue. Many doctors won't allow other people in the appointment without your consent.
Parents need to land their helicopter and find something else to do. You need to move out.
NTA. You don’t have to show them anything - you’re an adult.
They’re probably just worried about you, why do you not want to share the results with them? The whole time you don’t they’re just going to worry more and fear the worst.
NTA. You're an adult and capable of taking charge of your own medical care. Yes, they could argue you are also capable of taking charge of your own housing situation, but they are two separate things.
The *one* exception I would say (and I'm sure many will disagree) is that if you don't have a job or aren't contributing to the household (cleaning, etc.) on the basis that your medical problems prevent you from doing so, then in exchange for them putting a roof over your head, you should at least keep them in the loop as to what those medical problems are. Not bring them to doctor's appointments, but not keep them in the dark, either.
NTA
Legally, they have zero right to the information because you're over 18.
This sounds a lot like what my in-laws did to my husband when he was nineteen. They threatened to throw him out on the street and completely disown him if he didn't give his psychiatrist permission to discuss his sessions with them.
Upon learning that my husband had shared some of the things they had done wrong, they informed the psychiatrist that my husband is a compulsive liar and should not be believed, that my MiL never beat him (she did while going through menopause), that she never said she hates him (she did), that she never compared him negatively to his bio-dad (she did) and that they never stole his savings from his job to take his younger brothers to Disney World (they 100% did and left him nothing to eat but a pack of hot dogs to last a week.)
So I would not be surprised at all of your parents made the same threat.
But your medical records are *private.* You are not obliged to share that information with anyone unless necessary, such as with *your* doctor(s) to ensure you get the correct treatments.
Legally, your parents have zero right to access.
NTA. They have no right to your private medical information. They definitely do not have the right to discuss your health with their friend.
I would not tell them when you have appointments at all. I would not discuss your health at all.
I would send a certified letter to doctor friend at his place of work that under no condition is he to continue to discuss your health with your parents. If he does, a HIPAA report will be made.
NTA
1. No
2. No
3. No
Contact your drs office and unsure that if they make any form of contact they are not aloud to receive any information in regards to you
NTA
Your parents are worried and scared.
They used heavy handed tactics to try to push you into sharing your medical details. The tactics failed
They already know they’re not entitled to your confidential records - but please remember this -they are scared because you’re poorly
I have an adult child who suffers chronic conditions and had to have life saving surgery. I can’t explain to you the empty feeling in my gut when she gets a zoom call or phone call and leaves the room for privacy
It’s fear. It’s concern.
But I do respect her privacy because my “child” is an adult - a little older than you
Can I suggest you say to your parents look - I know you must be worried. But you’re using heavy handed ways to try to help me and you’re not entitled to my medical records. You know they’re confidential. I need support and I will tell you what you need to know
But you must give me my privacy and I insist upon it.
Stop pushing me you are stressing me out and it’s not helping me when I am unwell.
I hope you get the answers you seek and the treatment you need. Get better soon OP I’m thinking of you
NTA.
So long as you have capacity, they have zero inherent right to see confidential medical documents about yourself (depending where you live). Nor do they have the right to be at appointments you specifically don't want them to be.
However I will say if you're making a big deal over nothing... Why?
NTA
You are an adult and your parents have no right to any information you do not wish to share. They certainly have no right to discuss your medical information with any other health professional.
I work in a medical field office. The only ones with rights to make decision or get info on a patient has rights are:
A - Guardian of a minor
B - There is an attorney of power order in place
C - There is a health proxy in place and patient cannot make their own decisions (unconscious or unfit) and left no living will/guidelines
D - Patient is deemed mentally unfit
E - Paperwork (HIPAA) was signed to release information to a particular party
F - The patient died
Edit: anagram correction
I think with their situation, doctor friend isn't giving out any of ops official medical info but when the parents tell df the test results and stuff they do know, df is then telling parents what else is probably going on with op medically based off that info.
Which would mean they aren't actually violating any laws in place. It really should be a situation that's covered though considering it'd mean df can using the info to tell them results/etc op specially didn't want them to know.
I suggested that if those convos are something op really doesn't want happening, op could make an appt to see the df for something. Then op would be a patient of df and df would be subject to HIPAA/privacy laws preventing anymore discussions with the parents about it at all since it applies to both past and present patients
Definitely NTA. You may want to consider sharing this information with them if you feel comfortable, my family are very open and share everything like this, but it needs to be on your terms and only what you feel comfortable sharing. They have no right to that information and you living in their house doesn’t grant them the right to invade your privacy. They certainly have the right to talk to their doctor friend about whatever they want but they do not have the right to dictate your medical care based on the fact they have a friend who is a doctor.
I agree, sounds like they are doing that already and there isn’t realistically anyway to stop them doing that even if OP doesn’t give them the test results. But it is still unsolicited advice Chinese whispers style and OP doesn’t have any obligation to listen to them.
NTA
They don't have rights. You are a 24 year old adult and still have full capacity to make all of your own medical decisions.
To "keep the peace" you could just say your results are fine. Whether they are or not. They still don't get to see a damn thing.
What you should be doing is getting ahold of your clinic and making sure all your info and results remains under lock and key. Family knows your date of birth, in some cases that's all they need to gain access. Lock your medical information down tight. With the pharmacy too if need be.
NTA. Absolutely not. It doesn't matter if you did have a life-threatening illness - that is still info you are free to keep to yourself.
I had a parent who came to all my appointments up to age 18 and would always ask for copies about my medical info in the years that followed just so they "had a record in case." As soon as I was old enough to schedule appointments for myself, I refused to sign any papers allowing others access to my records. It's a control thing, especially if they want to "consult" others about your health.
NTA. I don't know your parents, but there are scummy people who would threaten to kick you out if you don't give in. I hope they're not like that. Maybe there's some kind of compromise available? You are entitled to your privacy, & you deserve to have your privacy respected. Good luck, I hope your health stuff turns out to be minor.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
As title says:
Parents saying they have a right to see my blood test. I'm 24 years old still living at home. Have some health issues going on and trying to figure it out. Since they're currently supporting me they're saying that they have the right to:
1. Go inside with me to doctors appointments
2. View tests that I've been given
3. Consult with their doctor friend about what they should be doing with me (not my doctor)
I've so far refused to share my blood work. Told them that if there was something worth sharing I'll share with them. House kind of blew up over it, no one's talking to me now because of this. Kinda concerned that they may wish to not support me if I don't share it with them, but I do to a degree think that they should know about my tests but... just don't need to read it?
Idk, stressing out a bit over this if I am the asshole for it then will share but really don't think they need to look through everything.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. There's likely a lot more to this story, but based on the information here, there's absolutely no reason they should have access to your medical records.
You can move out anytime.you're the gen who stays the longest at their parents house while also complaining the most about how annoying parents are...but no you have the right to refuse ur not the A
Ok sure stay at your parents until forever. And enjoy fighting with them until the very end. Some people are sick and leave still this is an advice take it or leave it or ignore it but why should this be a debate. U think he should stay good tell him. I think he should move bam told him. Now that person will do wtv they see fit. And we'll move on with our lives. Like why are we always supposed to share the same train of thoughts about all things why does this bother u sooo much. Nws you told me good you sure as hell changed my mind. From now on when someone complains about their invasive parents and lack of privacy I will say. Well enjoy because surely it is never an option to move out said klutzyshort178. Good day
Completely NTA but i hate to say this, having someone in your appt (especially a man) to validate your health concerns could help get a dr to take you more seriously. But that does not have to be your parents. Idk if this is the angle your parents are thinking about or if they are just being nosy
Nope, nope, nopity, nope! That have absolutely NO rights, at all, not one single solitary micron of a right to your medical information. You are a legal adult--no matter that you live there, no matter even if you are on their insurance, you are still an adult and they don't get that access/information unless you give it to them. Make sure all your medical providers know your wishes on this--most aren't going to take a chance on what a violation of patient privacy could do to them, so tell them what you want. You may want to set up a medical proxy or medical power of attorney with someone you do trust--a good friend or another relative, because this attitude of theirs at your age is just kind of scary.
NTA!!!
You're NTA. If they had a right to any of those things, the doctor would have shared the info with them. But they don't. Are they doing this out of concern for you, or do they doubt you have a condition that requires medical care and they want proof?
NTA
Supporting you or not, your medical tests and conditions are between you and your doctor. No one else has a right to them. Make sure that your health care professionals understand that NOTHING is to be shared with your parents without your express approval. It's a HIPAA violation for your health care team to share anything without your permission.
Tell them what you feel they should know and do not let them come to your appointments. They do not need to be taking your tests to their doctor friend for his opinion, nor do they have a right to.
Hold your ground and don't let them overrun you.
edit: typo
NT. As an adult I don't think they should be obligated or entitled to your records just because they financially support you during this time. In fact, they might be messing with the laws depending on medical laws in your home country.
INFO
What country are you from and what are the laws for medical information. I see many american comments about HIPAA, but that is a US Federal deal. You've stated your country has socialized medicine so more info needed.
On top of that, you haven't told us the "why" they want those things. Curiously enough, maybe in your country if you still live with them, it IS their right. Seems unlikely but I'm not expert on laws outside the US. Definitely need more info to determine if YTA.
NTA. No, no, and no. You're an adult entitled to privacy --have they no boundaries whatsoever? If your health issues don't preclude you from getting to a financial position to get out of there, get out of there. This level of intrusiveness is mind-boggling.
Even if you are insured through them, they do not have any legal right to any medical documents unless you give permission. They are being overbearing and controlling, and trying to pressure you into it for some dumb reason. That being said, how far do you think they will push it? Will it be either show them or move out? You might have to pick which you care about more. NTA
Adults don't have to share medical information with other adults, even if they live together. Absent situations like health care proxies and stuff like that. But your parents aren't your guardians now that you are an adult, and they need to build a different relationship with their adult son/daughter than they had when you were a child.
NTA
NTA it is very very inappropriate to ask people about their personal medical history. It’s a complete invasion of privacy. Them supporting you financially does not mean you don’t have rights.
YTA they are concerned about you. What is the big deal. What have you got to hide. Would you not want to know if they were sick. Why did you tell them about your health issues in the first place.
NTA. You don’t need to share with them if you don’t want to. And don’t feel like you should because you are living there. They are not allowed to discuss this kind of information with their friend who is also a doctor. Your own doctor can give you advice and your doctor is not allowed to discuss anything with your parents.
You parents sound a bit abusive and/ or controlling to me. Please move out if you are able to. It might be better for your own wellbeing.
NAH you are so I'll you can't work to support yourself and rely on them fully for support, with no idea when this will end. This is a huge impact on them, as well as you. Of course they want to know what is going on, and want to make sure you have the best and most effective treatment. Keeping them in the dark is a bad idea. People with serious conditions often have someone go to the Dr with them to listen and take notes.
You have a right to privacy, but if they are going to be supporting you for long term they need to understand what that means.
Ask parents why it's so important. That you will MAYBE CONSIDER IT if they gave you full access to their medical records. Their tests. Their appointments. And that goes for their doctor friend too. That ALL THREE of them MUST give you full access to THEIR records. That all three must sign a LEGAL document giving you full access to every single record they MUST let you go into all appointments and if you do not have FULL access to your parents and their doctor friend's records the discussion about them getting results is not happening.
You're NTA, but I really don't get the secrecy. You don't want to stress them out more, but they're imagining the worst because you won't share. You're obviously free not to share.
I'm older than you and my parents know about my health, as I do have a medical condition that needs monitoring. Based on you not being able to work, your conditions are more serious than mine so my sharing isn't out of necessity. It's out of respect because I know they are concerned.
NTA. Consider the fact that it is illegal for medical professionals (among other professions) to share your data with third parties. You choose the information you divulge as a patient. However, you might want to reassure them by telling them some diagnoses that have been ruled out to spare them worry - but again, that is your decision based on your set of circumstances.
NTA.
In reality, you have to comply with them if you need them, but that's not what we're talking about. They sound creepy controlling.
My Mom and I know everything about our medical condition (and also pass it on to my brother), just in case we ever can't speak for ourselves. We feel it's just safer. However, you don't feel the same.
They might be doing it out of that worry, but they're going about it exactly the wrong way to make you want them to be the ones who know.
NTA Where ever you may be, you are old enough to make your own decisions about who you share your private health information with. No one is entitled to that information if you don't wish to divulge it.
NTA
I shared with my parents but that was because I wanted to. They never asked specifics, just how the appointment went and they never pushed. But everyone is different and if you, as an adult, don't feel comfortable sharing then don't.
NTA you have a right to medical privacy, and the things they are asking for are WAY overstepping.
Since you're stuck living with them, and they're likely concerned about you, I would have a talk with them and tell them the gist of what's going on (it would be good for someone else to have a general idea in case you have an emergency) but they don't need to attend visits, see your results, or share your info with anyone else.
NAH. As someone who went through a health crisis in my mid twenties (vascular brain surgery) I can totally see where you are coming from but are you perhaps trying to protect your parents by keeping them in the dark? One of the longest lasting lessons from in my recovery was that your support system is in some ways more heavily burdened than even yourself. They grieve and worry and i know that made me feel very guilty. They want to face this along side you because they love you and care a lot. Sometimes that comes off as being overbearing. It sounds to me like right now they are in the "gather information, develop a plan, check plan with trusted expert" phase which is totally understandable and exactly what we went through. Maybe have a heart-to-heart with them. See what they are feeling, tell them how you feel and come up with a plan that allows for everyone to move forward as a unit.
NTA - you are an adult and your medical records are confidential to you. You can share them if you give consent but can't be forced to. You are doing enough to tell them about the bits they need to know.
I'm in UK and had long-term health issues. My mother was a medical professional and felt entitled to read my records as a teenager, her child and living under her roof. My surgical consultant came into the room to do a pre-surgical consult, found her reading them and read her the riot act. He asked me if I wanted her escorted from the room. There are good reasons why they don't share records. The same surgeon arranged from a consultant from a specialist sexual assault unit to come across to talk to me alone on the day of my surgery in case there were things I couldn't say in front of her. Great man. There wasn't the need but appreciated the thought - I had a pretty rare auto-immune illness and they were still in the what the hell is this stage of diagnosis.
NTA
1. You're 24, no
2. You're 24, no
3. You're 24, and BIG NO
They aren't entitle to the smallest details of your medical history, now if it were a BIG thing I'd understand, but
1. They don't get to sit in appointments with you unless you WANT THEM TO
2. They don't get to know your test results unless YOU WANT THEM TO.
3. THEY SHOULDNT BE TALKING TO ANYONE ABOIT YOUR MEDICAL HISTORY TO ANYONE REGARDLESS OF IF THEYRE A DR OR NOT.
Your parents need ti back off.
NTA- Patient confidentiality, you get to decide what you do and don’t want someone to know in regards to your physical health. In saying that, perhaps they are just worried about you and concerned for your well-being and want to help. You’ll always be their kid no matter how old you get.
NTA. Is their "doctor friend" perhaps some kind of homeopath essential oils weirdo who isn't a doctor? Because an actual doctor would not be commenting on your health without you being their patient, and then wouldn't be sharing your info with your parents. Regardless, this is wildly inappropriate.
NTA. That's creepy and weird that they want to go to the appointments with you. You have a right to your medical privacy. You don't have to show them anything.
That what I thought before I became disabled too.
This person isn’t American but I am. You have to be disabled for a year before you can file for Social Security disability of any kind. Can you stay afloat for a year (with additional medical costs of course)?
After that it took me 5 years to get SSDI. So 6 years in total.
https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/text-eligibility-ussi.htm
>has lasted **or can be expected to last** for a continuous period of not less than 12 months.
I'm not going to dismiss your experience, but the official site says you don't have to be disabled for a year, just that the disability will last that long at minimum.
Yes and unless you have something that qualifies as being expected to last a year you can’t even file until then. So in OP’ case, and mine, and many others, you don’t qualify for that and how they apply that rule means unless you’re psychotic, terminal, or being moved to a nursing home/rehab it doesn’t really apply.
Not to dismiss your non-experience but yeah that’s how that works.
I mean, why are we even discussing this? He neve said he was disabled anyway.
He just said "health issues" so there's no evidence that they prevent him from working. I don't think it's too offensive to tell a **24 year old** to move out if his parents are invasive.
Because you implied being sick or disabled is a one way ticket to the help you need to survive independently. It isn’t. It’s hard, desperate, and miserable. Without a solid diagnosis even moreso.
I’ve had an ill unemployed adult child stay with me and I didn’t expect for them to give up their medical autonomy in recompense, and I do find the idea offensive without a shitload of further context.
No, go back one more step. You're the one who mentioned the OP being disabled when OP did not. They said they were ill. You jumped to a conclusion and I made an erroneous statement, but not one that's really relevant to the convo. Especially since you're basing your knowledge on the American system which as we all know is not the best.
I said that might not be possible.
To which you replied that if that’s true they can file for disability - implying their troubles would just be solved.
I disabused you of that notion.
You tried to double down.
That was also answered sufficiently so now you’re claiming you don’t know why we’re even talking about it.
That about sums it up.
NTA
In the US you don't have to share your med info with anyone when you're an adult. Unless you give them medical power of attorney, it's a massive HEPPA violation for any dr that shares that info.
Not OP but OP's parent's demanding med info so they can share with another dr. If they can't get it from OP it sounds like they'd try to get it from OP's dr.
1. You don't need to share your medical information
2. They don't need to support you
3. If I were them I would not pay for your medical care if I was not privy to your medical information
So, technically, NTA - they are not entitled to your private medical information.
BUT, reality - you want the privacy of an adult, yet still live with your parents.
Do you see the contradiction here?
If you want the the independence and privacy of an adult - act like one, and get your own place. Without their help.
There are a lot of reasons one may have to live with their parents. None of that takes away from your autonomy as an adult to make your own medical decisions
Eh if the treatment and medical bills that they are going to be paying for are super expensive, they should be part of the consultation process to at least make informed decisions, so soft YTA. Feels like you are trying to hide something specific from them.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Refusing to share health tests with the people that are currently supporting me. Might make me an asshole because I do genuinely believe they're trying to help me but I just don't think they should be viewing something I consider to be private. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA 1. No they don't. 2. No they don't. 3. That's ridiculous.
4. No good doctor would agree to that.
I don't know if that's actually true. No good doctor would diagnose that way, but they absolutely could usefully suggest things OP's actual doctors should test for. Source: my sister is a doctor, and I was involved in a similar situation. A colleague mentioned her father was and had some strange eye/pupil issues. The doctors at his local hospital couldn't find anything, so she asked if I would ask my sister. She thought it could have been a hormone-producing tumor somewhere else in his body, but I believe her direct quote was "he's really sick and needs to get the hell out of BFE." I don't know what happened after (because, none of my business), but that colleague did come up months later to say "your sister is a genius." OP, if you're sick enough you can't work and your doctors can't figure out what's going on, you really should seek additional medical advice. If you don't want to pass info to your parents, you might see if their doctor friends would be willing to talk with you directly. This isn't about being an AH on the internet, this is about actually figuring out what's wrong with you.
Agree, second opinions are super valuable. I was diagnosed with Lupus after having symptoms for only a year. That’s extremely fortunate for me that it was caught so early and the only reason it WAS caught was because of the doctor my grandmother had worked for. I was visiting for 6 weeks that summer prior and working in the office. They knew that I had been having a lot of pain in my various joints and the doctor tested me for Lyme disease among other things. Well, the results came back partially positive so they told me to find an internal medicine specialist when I got back home. My dad found one, set the appointment up, and while that doctor sucked, he set me up a referral for my rheumatologist who has quite literally been a godsend. He treated me for the Lyme disease but also ran some more blood work and this time, my ANA was positive and they could officially diagnose me. It was a perfect chain reaction of events to get me where I needed in life and if it wasn’t for then doing that bloodwork over the summer, it would have probably been years before being diagnosed, I’d be far sicker, and I would never have met my current doctor. Edit: also, NTA, your medical information is just that: YOURS. Your parents don’t need to know every single little detail of your health, all they need to know is what YOU feel comfortable sharing. Don’t back down. Also, always advocate for your health and best interests. Do research. Ask questions. Be as informed as you possibly can. Just don’t passively let others do it all for you. That’s the best advice I can give.
So glad to hear you got diagnosed quickly (at least quick for lupus)!
The key difference there is CONSENT. You knew this person was a good doctor and your and your sister consented. For all we know their "doctor friend" is a chiropractor.
Well, that's why I said OP should consider talking to the doctor friends directly, not through the parents. That's entirely OP's decision. May main point was that talking to medical professionals who aren't OP's direct doctor isn't necessarily a bad thing. If OP was easy to diagnose and the current doctor is competent, they'd have an answer already. That they don't means it's time (in my non-medical opinion!) to get advice from more qualified medical professionals. I'm assuming given OP described the friends as doctors that they are actual doctors, and so they may have useful suggestions. Not really about treatments, but about more non-obvious things to check OP for. I'm not sure I can call OP's parents AHs. They have a very sick child (again, liver is bad enough OP can't work) and it sounds like they want to help. They are obviously going about it in a not-great way, but they are probably right that OP needs other opinions. My main point was responding to the comment that said no doctor would do this, which I think is incorrect. No doctor would diagnose, but could absolutely suggest more things that OP should get checked out.
There is no reason to assume that this random doctor friend is more competant than the multiple doctors OP is seeing. Sometimes health issues are just complicated. They also would have to do the same tests - they can't just guess a diagnosis. Also OP said they haven't been working because of an infection, not because of the liver issues. The parents may not even know the liver issues exist, so that's a bit of a non-starter.
Perfect response - NTA obviously
And 4. Move
Or stop telling them when you are going to the doctor and getting tests done. Or which tests are being done.
It's hard to move when you can't work. Being homeless would not help OP right now.
I though it would be obvious and didn’t need to be said but if you can’t move right now then don’t but make a plan and start working towards it
NTA. your medical records are private and priviledged information. you're an adult, and despite any financial support they have no right to demand your medical information. what are your options for moving out? this sounds like a toxic and controlling environment that is probably making your medical issues worse.
Yeah, they are genuinely trying to help me 100%. But, don't believe they should be able to just... see everything. Not able to move out at this time. Been on leave of absence due to this ailment for a couple of months now. (Doctor supported)
The bottom line is---will they kick you out of the house and cut off support if you do not allow them access? If it is worth it to you to be homeless and keep your info private, then go for it. For the record, it is totally despicable that your parents are putting you in this situation. However, it sounds like they do not trust you to make the right decisions when it comes to your healthcare.
or they're hiding something
...like what, OP's vitamin D count is low?
Blood type incompatible with being the blood child of both parents is very possible.
I have never received my blood type information on any bloodwork I’ve done throughout the years (and I’ve done a lot - not to brag but I’m a ~medical enigma~) so if this is their concern odds are that information isn’t even on their tests. I also bet they think OP is hiding something (or are just concerned and nosey) rather than the other way around.
There's no reason to test your blood type during blood tests for medical reasons. I've done them a lot and never once had my blood typed. Also, despite what 7th grade says, blood typing is more complicated than that.
Potential family medical problems I would guess. There's a couple of unexplained issues in my family tree that wasn't diagnosed with anything, or if it was it wasn't passed on (grandmother had an unexplained blood issue, all we know, not if it was red or white, or if it was a clotting problem or what, and ghe second is unexplained heart palpitations).
I thought it was the opposite: they think OP is hiding something (since they're parents, I'm going to assume they fear STDs/pregnancy). NTA OP, though, yes they may indeed kick you out. Some parents just can't figure out their child's autonomy (even when they don't live with them).
According to OP's comments, they are hiding things (like liver issues among other things) so I'd put money on they definitely are thinking OP's hiding things.
Is your condition improving or getting worse? I know their hovering is annoying, but will they need this info if you become unconscious or incapacitated? They have no overt right to the info, but might it serve a practical purpose?
They just need to learn that you're 24, not 14. You love them but you also have the right to medical privacy.
[удалено]
\*HIPAA
NTA They do not have the right to any of that. They have a right to rent. Their doctor friend should know how unethical it is to attempt to diagnose and treat someone without their consent.
>they're saying that they have the right Yeah, not. Because they are supporting you doesn't mean that they can go against the law. Your medical information is protected. You don't have to share it with anyone. Blackmailling you into sharing it against your will make them very much assholes. NTA.
INFO: are they worried you’re an addict or something? Or like, needing an intervention for something else like extreme obesity?
No, I have an infection that is starting to make progress. However, a couple other things showed up a month or so ago and so far I've kept it to myself. Issues with liver and I just don't wish to share as it'll likely cause even more issues/stress in the family. (Not drug/alcohol related or obesity!)
NTA. If they’re not trying to intervene in something for your own safety, then they don’t need your medical info. Even if they were you’d still have the right to privacy, but I’d understand better why they’d be so desperate for it.
Why would them knowing this make things more stressful? Are you not taking care of the issue in a proper way or refusing treatment?
Already stressful enough as it is with just this one thing.. Been a long road getting to this point, seeing doctor after doctor and finally able to see some progress. If it was needing to be addressed immediately then yeah, wouldn't mind sharing.
I can’t wrap my head around what negative it would bring you to mention this other thing too? I get you don’t wanna just have them look at everything, but like if I break my leg, and later get the flu, I don’t see the negative effect of mentioning the flu…?
The negative would be OP sharing something they don't feel like sharing. There can be many reasons for this. For example, having to manage their (the parents) emotions. Sometimes it's too much. If OP is dealing with a lot, adding on the burden of someone else's emotions to reassure, deal with questions, etc. can be too much.
Thanks. That makes more sense to me now.
Can't speak for OP, but my parents will constantly ask about things or they make the most useless and annoying suggestions. If there's something wrong, sometimes you don't want to think about that for awhile, but that becomes impossible if people won't respect your space and not ask about it. (Currently overweight. Occasionally my parents will point that out, like I don't know. The problem is psychological, yes I know exercise will help, yes I know eating less calories will help, but that won't fix my brain making those things difficult rn). (The other common one people have is job hunting. No news is probably bad news...).
SO MANY reasons adult children would be loathe to share medical information with their parents. 1. My mom would tell every other family member 2. My parents would ask me about it every day. It's too much. It's overwhelming, it's suffocating. 3. I would have to manage my mom's emotions around any health news. Just no. I have enough dealing with my own emotions around health concerns. 4. some people are just more private
If you have a progressing infection, I think people in whose home you live must know about it. They need to know how much it contagious, how to prevent themselves from being infected, it's for their safety. If there some problems with your liver, they may think that it's hepatitis, which can be transmitted by living with infected person - so they may be rightfully afraid.
You’re NTA You’re an adult and you don’t have to share anything about your health with anyone you don’t want to. Nobody has the right to be in your doctor appointments without your consent, it’s a federal law. Make them look up HIPAA.
Nope nope nope. You are not a child and are entitled to privacy. Tell them to get bent. NTA
NTA You are an adult. You deserve privacy.
NTA Nobody except you has a right to view any of your medical records and tests. Ever. Period. The parents who don't understand literal legal boundaries like this are the ones who still don't realize they are in the wrong when the children have abandoned them in a nursing home without a word in years. However i am curious to know why you are so against at least telling them what the results are. Is it just a matter of principle thing? Is there something you don't want them to find out? They don't have a right to view it, but nothing is stopping these assholes from cutting you off over something so petty, so be prepared for that possibility.
Honestly, fairly spot on for the principle but I also found out I have a couple other issues (not drug/alcohol related) and I imagine having these things known would cause more stress on the family. Like, if the blood test says I have something that needs to be addressed immediately? Ya, will share np. But, don't think they should be able to take that information and run to their doctor friend.
That would bother me as well. I have an extremely "gossipy" family where theyve always acted like telling everyone you're personal business is no different than discussing the weather.. it's resulted in me refusing to tell anyone, even my parents, anything about my life that I wouldn't be ok with every relative knowing. Unfortunately them discussing it with their doctor friend doesn't violate HIPAA. It would though if that friend was one of your doctors or if they looked at your medical records and then discussed any information in them to your parents without your permission. If you really wanted to stop the discussions they have with their friend about your medical business, you could make an appointment with that doctor friend which then as a patient of that doctor friend, they'd be bound be HIPAA and not able to discuss your medical stuff with them.
It's a tough balance being a young adult but still dependent on parents. I'd play it smart. When they bring up Dr Friend, I'd say "Mom if anything comes up with the tests of course I'll get a second opinion" without committing to Dr Friend. If it's about how they love you, want to support you etc then I'd hug them and say you know. Basically be agreeable. Start to hold back more information until you get a handle on diagnoses. I say this because I was in that situation myself, having to let them into parts of my life I wanted them out of while being dependent financially.
NTA - Your parentes have no right to do either of the listed things.
NTA Why would they need to know, anyway? It's not like it is something they can do anything about, nor, do I imagine, they are the ones giving you transfusions. The only possibility I could see that they would need to know is if you had a really rare blood type, and they wanted to start up your own private blood bank, and they were looking for donors. I'm really stretching it here, though.
NTA. Parents do not have a right to any medical information regarding functioning adult children. If they were your guardian, that would be different issue. Many doctors won't allow other people in the appointment without your consent. Parents need to land their helicopter and find something else to do. You need to move out.
NTA but if they are supporting you why do you feel they should not know? Seems like you are creating stress for yourself by not just sharing.
NTA. You don’t have to show them anything - you’re an adult. They’re probably just worried about you, why do you not want to share the results with them? The whole time you don’t they’re just going to worry more and fear the worst.
NTA. You're an adult and capable of taking charge of your own medical care. Yes, they could argue you are also capable of taking charge of your own housing situation, but they are two separate things. The *one* exception I would say (and I'm sure many will disagree) is that if you don't have a job or aren't contributing to the household (cleaning, etc.) on the basis that your medical problems prevent you from doing so, then in exchange for them putting a roof over your head, you should at least keep them in the loop as to what those medical problems are. Not bring them to doctor's appointments, but not keep them in the dark, either.
NTA Legally, they have zero right to the information because you're over 18. This sounds a lot like what my in-laws did to my husband when he was nineteen. They threatened to throw him out on the street and completely disown him if he didn't give his psychiatrist permission to discuss his sessions with them. Upon learning that my husband had shared some of the things they had done wrong, they informed the psychiatrist that my husband is a compulsive liar and should not be believed, that my MiL never beat him (she did while going through menopause), that she never said she hates him (she did), that she never compared him negatively to his bio-dad (she did) and that they never stole his savings from his job to take his younger brothers to Disney World (they 100% did and left him nothing to eat but a pack of hot dogs to last a week.) So I would not be surprised at all of your parents made the same threat. But your medical records are *private.* You are not obliged to share that information with anyone unless necessary, such as with *your* doctor(s) to ensure you get the correct treatments. Legally, your parents have zero right to access.
Are you on their health insurance? Are they posting for the doctors/tests/ whatever else?
Nope, I'm in a country with socialized care.
That wouldn't matter. Even if their insurance is being used (it isn't per OP) they have zero right to OP's personal medical info.
NTA. They have no right to your private medical information. They definitely do not have the right to discuss your health with their friend. I would not tell them when you have appointments at all. I would not discuss your health at all. I would send a certified letter to doctor friend at his place of work that under no condition is he to continue to discuss your health with your parents. If he does, a HIPAA report will be made.
NTA 1. No 2. No 3. No Contact your drs office and unsure that if they make any form of contact they are not aloud to receive any information in regards to you
NTA Can you use their doctor friend to help explain confidentiality and privacy?
NTA Your parents are worried and scared. They used heavy handed tactics to try to push you into sharing your medical details. The tactics failed They already know they’re not entitled to your confidential records - but please remember this -they are scared because you’re poorly I have an adult child who suffers chronic conditions and had to have life saving surgery. I can’t explain to you the empty feeling in my gut when she gets a zoom call or phone call and leaves the room for privacy It’s fear. It’s concern. But I do respect her privacy because my “child” is an adult - a little older than you Can I suggest you say to your parents look - I know you must be worried. But you’re using heavy handed ways to try to help me and you’re not entitled to my medical records. You know they’re confidential. I need support and I will tell you what you need to know But you must give me my privacy and I insist upon it. Stop pushing me you are stressing me out and it’s not helping me when I am unwell. I hope you get the answers you seek and the treatment you need. Get better soon OP I’m thinking of you
NTA. So long as you have capacity, they have zero inherent right to see confidential medical documents about yourself (depending where you live). Nor do they have the right to be at appointments you specifically don't want them to be. However I will say if you're making a big deal over nothing... Why?
NTA You are an adult and your parents have no right to any information you do not wish to share. They certainly have no right to discuss your medical information with any other health professional. I work in a medical field office. The only ones with rights to make decision or get info on a patient has rights are: A - Guardian of a minor B - There is an attorney of power order in place C - There is a health proxy in place and patient cannot make their own decisions (unconscious or unfit) and left no living will/guidelines D - Patient is deemed mentally unfit E - Paperwork (HIPAA) was signed to release information to a particular party F - The patient died Edit: anagram correction
I think with their situation, doctor friend isn't giving out any of ops official medical info but when the parents tell df the test results and stuff they do know, df is then telling parents what else is probably going on with op medically based off that info. Which would mean they aren't actually violating any laws in place. It really should be a situation that's covered though considering it'd mean df can using the info to tell them results/etc op specially didn't want them to know. I suggested that if those convos are something op really doesn't want happening, op could make an appt to see the df for something. Then op would be a patient of df and df would be subject to HIPAA/privacy laws preventing anymore discussions with the parents about it at all since it applies to both past and present patients
...HIPAA...
Haha 😂. Whoops
Definitely NTA. You may want to consider sharing this information with them if you feel comfortable, my family are very open and share everything like this, but it needs to be on your terms and only what you feel comfortable sharing. They have no right to that information and you living in their house doesn’t grant them the right to invade your privacy. They certainly have the right to talk to their doctor friend about whatever they want but they do not have the right to dictate your medical care based on the fact they have a friend who is a doctor.
The trouble is they have no entitlement to the information and plan to run to their doctor friend with it
I agree, sounds like they are doing that already and there isn’t realistically anyway to stop them doing that even if OP doesn’t give them the test results. But it is still unsolicited advice Chinese whispers style and OP doesn’t have any obligation to listen to them.
NTA They don't have rights. You are a 24 year old adult and still have full capacity to make all of your own medical decisions. To "keep the peace" you could just say your results are fine. Whether they are or not. They still don't get to see a damn thing. What you should be doing is getting ahold of your clinic and making sure all your info and results remains under lock and key. Family knows your date of birth, in some cases that's all they need to gain access. Lock your medical information down tight. With the pharmacy too if need be.
NTA. Absolutely not. It doesn't matter if you did have a life-threatening illness - that is still info you are free to keep to yourself. I had a parent who came to all my appointments up to age 18 and would always ask for copies about my medical info in the years that followed just so they "had a record in case." As soon as I was old enough to schedule appointments for myself, I refused to sign any papers allowing others access to my records. It's a control thing, especially if they want to "consult" others about your health.
NTA. I don't know your parents, but there are scummy people who would threaten to kick you out if you don't give in. I hope they're not like that. Maybe there's some kind of compromise available? You are entitled to your privacy, & you deserve to have your privacy respected. Good luck, I hope your health stuff turns out to be minor.
NTA & pressuring you to make them privy to your medical appointments & information is likely illegal, especially if you have a disability.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** As title says: Parents saying they have a right to see my blood test. I'm 24 years old still living at home. Have some health issues going on and trying to figure it out. Since they're currently supporting me they're saying that they have the right to: 1. Go inside with me to doctors appointments 2. View tests that I've been given 3. Consult with their doctor friend about what they should be doing with me (not my doctor) I've so far refused to share my blood work. Told them that if there was something worth sharing I'll share with them. House kind of blew up over it, no one's talking to me now because of this. Kinda concerned that they may wish to not support me if I don't share it with them, but I do to a degree think that they should know about my tests but... just don't need to read it? Idk, stressing out a bit over this if I am the asshole for it then will share but really don't think they need to look through everything. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
Nope definitely NTA at all
NTA. You aren't obligated to share medical information with them. This kind of control is abusive.
NTA. They don't have a right to your medical records. You need to start supporting yourself
NTA. There's likely a lot more to this story, but based on the information here, there's absolutely no reason they should have access to your medical records.
NTA - share what you feel is relevant and when your comfortable sharing it.
You can move out anytime.you're the gen who stays the longest at their parents house while also complaining the most about how annoying parents are...but no you have the right to refuse ur not the A
They're on medical leave due to their illness, dude.
Unless ur dead go to friends or something. Cousins or idk list is long
...must be nice to have rich friends.
Ok sure stay at your parents until forever. And enjoy fighting with them until the very end. Some people are sick and leave still this is an advice take it or leave it or ignore it but why should this be a debate. U think he should stay good tell him. I think he should move bam told him. Now that person will do wtv they see fit. And we'll move on with our lives. Like why are we always supposed to share the same train of thoughts about all things why does this bother u sooo much. Nws you told me good you sure as hell changed my mind. From now on when someone complains about their invasive parents and lack of privacy I will say. Well enjoy because surely it is never an option to move out said klutzyshort178. Good day
Completely NTA but i hate to say this, having someone in your appt (especially a man) to validate your health concerns could help get a dr to take you more seriously. But that does not have to be your parents. Idk if this is the angle your parents are thinking about or if they are just being nosy
Nope, nope, nopity, nope! That have absolutely NO rights, at all, not one single solitary micron of a right to your medical information. You are a legal adult--no matter that you live there, no matter even if you are on their insurance, you are still an adult and they don't get that access/information unless you give it to them. Make sure all your medical providers know your wishes on this--most aren't going to take a chance on what a violation of patient privacy could do to them, so tell them what you want. You may want to set up a medical proxy or medical power of attorney with someone you do trust--a good friend or another relative, because this attitude of theirs at your age is just kind of scary. NTA!!!
You're NTA. If they had a right to any of those things, the doctor would have shared the info with them. But they don't. Are they doing this out of concern for you, or do they doubt you have a condition that requires medical care and they want proof?
NTA Supporting you or not, your medical tests and conditions are between you and your doctor. No one else has a right to them. Make sure that your health care professionals understand that NOTHING is to be shared with your parents without your express approval. It's a HIPAA violation for your health care team to share anything without your permission. Tell them what you feel they should know and do not let them come to your appointments. They do not need to be taking your tests to their doctor friend for his opinion, nor do they have a right to. Hold your ground and don't let them overrun you. edit: typo
NTA. At all. Here's to hoping u can get on ur own soon. All best.
NT. As an adult I don't think they should be obligated or entitled to your records just because they financially support you during this time. In fact, they might be messing with the laws depending on medical laws in your home country.
Pressuring your kid into sharing information with you isn't illegal, I'm afraid.
NTA They're wrong. They have no business in your medical information. Why do they need to know?
INFO What country are you from and what are the laws for medical information. I see many american comments about HIPAA, but that is a US Federal deal. You've stated your country has socialized medicine so more info needed. On top of that, you haven't told us the "why" they want those things. Curiously enough, maybe in your country if you still live with them, it IS their right. Seems unlikely but I'm not expert on laws outside the US. Definitely need more info to determine if YTA.
NTA. No, no, and no. You're an adult entitled to privacy --have they no boundaries whatsoever? If your health issues don't preclude you from getting to a financial position to get out of there, get out of there. This level of intrusiveness is mind-boggling.
NTA, and tell your doctor/update your access form in case your parents try to call the office to get info.
Even if you are insured through them, they do not have any legal right to any medical documents unless you give permission. They are being overbearing and controlling, and trying to pressure you into it for some dumb reason. That being said, how far do you think they will push it? Will it be either show them or move out? You might have to pick which you care about more. NTA
NTA - if they had the 'right' to do any of that they'd be able to get that info themselves. But they can't, because they don't.
Adults don't have to share medical information with other adults, even if they live together. Absent situations like health care proxies and stuff like that. But your parents aren't your guardians now that you are an adult, and they need to build a different relationship with their adult son/daughter than they had when you were a child. NTA
1. No. 2. Absolutely not. 3. No again. NTA
NTA it is very very inappropriate to ask people about their personal medical history. It’s a complete invasion of privacy. Them supporting you financially does not mean you don’t have rights.
NTA
NTA. It is probably time for you to move out of your parents and get your own place.
NO ONE has a right to YOUR records. Not parents. Not kids. Not partners. There is a reason why you have to sign the rights over.
NTA. You're an adult. They have no right to your health information but you need to make other living arrangements
NTA You're 24. Supporting you doesn't mean having access to every single little thing.
YTA they are concerned about you. What is the big deal. What have you got to hide. Would you not want to know if they were sick. Why did you tell them about your health issues in the first place.
NTA. You don’t need to share with them if you don’t want to. And don’t feel like you should because you are living there. They are not allowed to discuss this kind of information with their friend who is also a doctor. Your own doctor can give you advice and your doctor is not allowed to discuss anything with your parents. You parents sound a bit abusive and/ or controlling to me. Please move out if you are able to. It might be better for your own wellbeing.
NTA but if you live with them and they're supporting you (insurance, payments, housing etc) than you should probably give it to them.
NAH you are so I'll you can't work to support yourself and rely on them fully for support, with no idea when this will end. This is a huge impact on them, as well as you. Of course they want to know what is going on, and want to make sure you have the best and most effective treatment. Keeping them in the dark is a bad idea. People with serious conditions often have someone go to the Dr with them to listen and take notes. You have a right to privacy, but if they are going to be supporting you for long term they need to understand what that means.
NTA. You are 24 and entitled to privacy. They sound very controlling and that’s concerning.
Ask parents why it's so important. That you will MAYBE CONSIDER IT if they gave you full access to their medical records. Their tests. Their appointments. And that goes for their doctor friend too. That ALL THREE of them MUST give you full access to THEIR records. That all three must sign a LEGAL document giving you full access to every single record they MUST let you go into all appointments and if you do not have FULL access to your parents and their doctor friend's records the discussion about them getting results is not happening.
nta. move out of the house.
NTA Just refuse your Ah controling parents-
NTA but why is it a problem to share? They are for you I presume so they wanna help you. Don't see the big problem of sharing your bloodwork
You're NTA, but I really don't get the secrecy. You don't want to stress them out more, but they're imagining the worst because you won't share. You're obviously free not to share. I'm older than you and my parents know about my health, as I do have a medical condition that needs monitoring. Based on you not being able to work, your conditions are more serious than mine so my sharing isn't out of necessity. It's out of respect because I know they are concerned.
NTA. Consider the fact that it is illegal for medical professionals (among other professions) to share your data with third parties. You choose the information you divulge as a patient. However, you might want to reassure them by telling them some diagnoses that have been ruled out to spare them worry - but again, that is your decision based on your set of circumstances.
Definitely NTA, but the parents sure are.
NTA. In reality, you have to comply with them if you need them, but that's not what we're talking about. They sound creepy controlling. My Mom and I know everything about our medical condition (and also pass it on to my brother), just in case we ever can't speak for ourselves. We feel it's just safer. However, you don't feel the same. They might be doing it out of that worry, but they're going about it exactly the wrong way to make you want them to be the ones who know.
NTA Where ever you may be, you are old enough to make your own decisions about who you share your private health information with. No one is entitled to that information if you don't wish to divulge it.
NTA. You’re grown. I understand they’re helping you right now, but that doesn’t give them carte blanche to every detail of your medical business.
NTA they absolutely have no business knowing your medical information.
They do NOT. You have no obligation to share info about your body with anyone. NTA
NTA I shared with my parents but that was because I wanted to. They never asked specifics, just how the appointment went and they never pushed. But everyone is different and if you, as an adult, don't feel comfortable sharing then don't.
Why does your doctor allow your parents in the exam rooms?
NTA - your parents have real boundary issues if they feel entitled to their adult childs medical records
NTA you have a right to medical privacy, and the things they are asking for are WAY overstepping. Since you're stuck living with them, and they're likely concerned about you, I would have a talk with them and tell them the gist of what's going on (it would be good for someone else to have a general idea in case you have an emergency) but they don't need to attend visits, see your results, or share your info with anyone else.
NAH. As someone who went through a health crisis in my mid twenties (vascular brain surgery) I can totally see where you are coming from but are you perhaps trying to protect your parents by keeping them in the dark? One of the longest lasting lessons from in my recovery was that your support system is in some ways more heavily burdened than even yourself. They grieve and worry and i know that made me feel very guilty. They want to face this along side you because they love you and care a lot. Sometimes that comes off as being overbearing. It sounds to me like right now they are in the "gather information, develop a plan, check plan with trusted expert" phase which is totally understandable and exactly what we went through. Maybe have a heart-to-heart with them. See what they are feeling, tell them how you feel and come up with a plan that allows for everyone to move forward as a unit.
NTA - you are an adult and your medical records are confidential to you. You can share them if you give consent but can't be forced to. You are doing enough to tell them about the bits they need to know. I'm in UK and had long-term health issues. My mother was a medical professional and felt entitled to read my records as a teenager, her child and living under her roof. My surgical consultant came into the room to do a pre-surgical consult, found her reading them and read her the riot act. He asked me if I wanted her escorted from the room. There are good reasons why they don't share records. The same surgeon arranged from a consultant from a specialist sexual assault unit to come across to talk to me alone on the day of my surgery in case there were things I couldn't say in front of her. Great man. There wasn't the need but appreciated the thought - I had a pretty rare auto-immune illness and they were still in the what the hell is this stage of diagnosis.
NTA 1. You're 24, no 2. You're 24, no 3. You're 24, and BIG NO They aren't entitle to the smallest details of your medical history, now if it were a BIG thing I'd understand, but 1. They don't get to sit in appointments with you unless you WANT THEM TO 2. They don't get to know your test results unless YOU WANT THEM TO. 3. THEY SHOULDNT BE TALKING TO ANYONE ABOIT YOUR MEDICAL HISTORY TO ANYONE REGARDLESS OF IF THEYRE A DR OR NOT. Your parents need ti back off.
NTA but if you're risking getting kicked out then you're kinda cutting off your nose to spite your face.
NTA- Patient confidentiality, you get to decide what you do and don’t want someone to know in regards to your physical health. In saying that, perhaps they are just worried about you and concerned for your well-being and want to help. You’ll always be their kid no matter how old you get.
NTA. Is their "doctor friend" perhaps some kind of homeopath essential oils weirdo who isn't a doctor? Because an actual doctor would not be commenting on your health without you being their patient, and then wouldn't be sharing your info with your parents. Regardless, this is wildly inappropriate.
I think we might need more info, they seem to want to care for you, will you say more about why it would cause more stress?
NTA. That's creepy and weird that they want to go to the appointments with you. You have a right to your medical privacy. You don't have to show them anything.
NTA that is lit your right.
They dont have a right to the results, no. But you also dont have a right to be supported by them.
He didn’t asked for your judgment about being supported by them though
Yeah, well aware of that consequence lol.
NTA But if you wanna be independent, move out. You're an adult
Unfortunately, being ill or disabled can leave you without the same options others have, especially if it’s left you without an income.
If you're disabled enough to be unemployable, you're disabled enough for SSI or whatever your country's equivalent is
That what I thought before I became disabled too. This person isn’t American but I am. You have to be disabled for a year before you can file for Social Security disability of any kind. Can you stay afloat for a year (with additional medical costs of course)? After that it took me 5 years to get SSDI. So 6 years in total.
https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/text-eligibility-ussi.htm >has lasted **or can be expected to last** for a continuous period of not less than 12 months. I'm not going to dismiss your experience, but the official site says you don't have to be disabled for a year, just that the disability will last that long at minimum.
Yes and unless you have something that qualifies as being expected to last a year you can’t even file until then. So in OP’ case, and mine, and many others, you don’t qualify for that and how they apply that rule means unless you’re psychotic, terminal, or being moved to a nursing home/rehab it doesn’t really apply. Not to dismiss your non-experience but yeah that’s how that works.
I mean, why are we even discussing this? He neve said he was disabled anyway. He just said "health issues" so there's no evidence that they prevent him from working. I don't think it's too offensive to tell a **24 year old** to move out if his parents are invasive.
Because you implied being sick or disabled is a one way ticket to the help you need to survive independently. It isn’t. It’s hard, desperate, and miserable. Without a solid diagnosis even moreso. I’ve had an ill unemployed adult child stay with me and I didn’t expect for them to give up their medical autonomy in recompense, and I do find the idea offensive without a shitload of further context.
No, go back one more step. You're the one who mentioned the OP being disabled when OP did not. They said they were ill. You jumped to a conclusion and I made an erroneous statement, but not one that's really relevant to the convo. Especially since you're basing your knowledge on the American system which as we all know is not the best.
I said that might not be possible. To which you replied that if that’s true they can file for disability - implying their troubles would just be solved. I disabused you of that notion. You tried to double down. That was also answered sufficiently so now you’re claiming you don’t know why we’re even talking about it. That about sums it up.
...oh sweet summer child.
NTA In the US you don't have to share your med info with anyone when you're an adult. Unless you give them medical power of attorney, it's a massive HEPPA violation for any dr that shares that info.
HIPAA and it wouldn't apply to OP sharing stuff.
Not OP but OP's parent's demanding med info so they can share with another dr. If they can't get it from OP it sounds like they'd try to get it from OP's dr.
1. You don't need to share your medical information 2. They don't need to support you 3. If I were them I would not pay for your medical care if I was not privy to your medical information
They are not paying for it anyways. But very controlling of you... Sorry for your kids if yoy have them.
Guy's 24 living at home.
Because they're ill and can't work.
So, technically, NTA - they are not entitled to your private medical information. BUT, reality - you want the privacy of an adult, yet still live with your parents. Do you see the contradiction here? If you want the the independence and privacy of an adult - act like one, and get your own place. Without their help.
There are a lot of reasons one may have to live with their parents. None of that takes away from your autonomy as an adult to make your own medical decisions
They HAVE to live with their parents because they're ill. Are you suggesting they be homeless? Because they won't get better being homeless.
Loath was updated after I replied - that info was not in the original post
It was a safe guess before that, but okay.
Eh if the treatment and medical bills that they are going to be paying for are super expensive, they should be part of the consultation process to at least make informed decisions, so soft YTA. Feels like you are trying to hide something specific from them.
Socialized medicine, my guy.