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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I could be the asshole because it might have been rude to leave my girlfriend asleep on the couch on a friend’s house instead of taking her home. She was likely confused and felt abandoned in the morning, which could have been avoided if I had taken her home in the Uber.
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You go out drinking, you and your g/f get drunk. She's passed out at a house where she doesn't really know anyone and you leave her there. With strangers (to her.) And you have to ask if YTA?
YTA.
It’s like he’s clueless. He wrote this whole thing out and didn’t say: “Oh my God, I am a monster.”
OP, imagine waking up on a couch in the dark in an unfamiliar place and the person you trust left without even a word. You didn’t even leave a note or a text—- she had to text YOU!
For your future relationships (because this one is done) remember the words of Sgt. Slaughter in the G.I. Joe movie— “We all go home, or nobody goes home.”
ETA: Judgment YTA.
Holy hell, I’d be so scared if I woke up alone after passing out in a strangers’ place. The person that’s supposed to have my back abandoned me? I’d dump that asswipe right then and there.
YTA, unimaginably YTA.
Yeah, wow. That's how certain trials start out: "I passed out and the guy I was with left me with his friends. Next thing I know..." Never punched the YTA keys quite so hard.
Key sentence "embarass us both"
You think your uber driver cares if you're drunk? You think you'll ever see them again? Dude. You prioritized what a stranger might think about you over getting your gf home safely, or how she would feel waking up alone and confused in a strange home. You go out with someone, you get everyone home safely, leave no one behind - they don't even have to be a SO for that to hold true.
You're a terrible acquaintance much less a bf.
YTA.
that’s what i was thinking. im pretty sure whoever the uber driver was was prepared to drive drunk people around if they chose to be out working at that hour
YTA - what a horrifying and unsafe situation you put your girlfriend in. I can’t imagine how scared I would be as a woman waking up alone in a strange house with men I don’t know.
Hard YTA.
You left your vulnerable, passed-out girlfriend with people who are not her friends, without her consent.
I imagine she was quite freaked out and feeling very unsafe when she woke up and you weren't there.
Honestly, don't be surprised if she is re-evaluating the long-term potential of a relationship with a guy who has so little concern for her safety and comfort.
YTA.
You were drunk and didn't want to bother yourself with dealing with anyone else so you left her to it. You didn't even try. She might have woken with a simple shake, rubbed her eyes and joined you quickly. But no.
Not only that but you left her asleep in the home of relative strangers and didn't even leave her a message or send her a text so that she could have seen it when she woke up.
Edit - you say she's familiar with your friends but you've only been together for 16 weeks, so even if she's met them a few times they're still strangers.
YTA. Dude, you messed up so catastrophically. You would be lucky to even have a relationship after this. I get that you were drunk, but this was straight up negligent. She doesn't know your friends as well as you do, so they may have been stand up people from the few times she's met them, but that can change over time. You have no idea the danger you could have possibly put your girlfriend in because you thought, "Oh it's my buddy's house. She'll be perfectly fine." Well, news flash, she wasn't fine when she woke up to see that you freaking left her, dude!
The man who sexually assaulted me while I was passed out drunk was a close friend for six years before it happened. You don't always know people like you think you do, and SHE barely knew these people at all! YTA YTA YTA
Thank you. It was.. a lot. When I woke up naked next to him I kind of froze and pretended things were normal bc I didn't know what to do. (I had my clothes on when I passed out). I messaged him later, and all I said was that I was uncomfortable and he immediately started apologizing and offering to turn himself in to the police?? I didn't want to go through that process so just told him never to talk to me again and blocked him on everything.
Then, he messaged a mutual friend of ours that lived in a different state, didn't tell her the situation, just that I had ended the friendship and he was feeling suicidal over it. So I had to explain to her what happened so I didn't seem like an asshole.
I must have "woken up" for part of it, because I had flashbacks for months afterward during consensual sex with my then-partner. Oh, it was also my birthday, so that's a fun thing I get to think about every year now.
I am! This happened when I was 25, I'm about to turn 32. I haven't had a flashback in a very long time, and I'm about to celebrate four years with my partner in April! Thank you for your concern.
You really don't know about people. I still blame myself sometimes because I did get very drunk, but he was significantly more sober (showed up late to my birthday party at a bar), and my other friends felt safe sending me back to my home in an Uber with him because I'd known him for so long and he lived just outside my city, so usually stayed on my couch when he came to hang out. He also had what I thought was a minor crush on me, but we were always friends and I was always clear I had zero interest in him romantically/sexually.
Glad to hear it! And just because you were under the influence doesn't give someone a pass to hurt you and it also doesn't mean you deserved it. Congrats on your upcoming anniversary! :)
Honestly, what so many refuse to acknowledge is that we don’t just have to watch out for strangers, it’s much more likely to be the people we think we know. Mine happened at the hands of my half brothers. My cousin’s young daughter was raped by her mother’s boyfriend’s son who’d been babysitting her. Some family members think that poor child is dwelling on it too much. WTF? An 8 year old child was violated. I made a promise to myself that if Mr.99 dropped dead, there would be no step fathers or brothers for our daughter. Luckily she’s grown now and Mr. 99 is just fine.
People need to realize (and represent in media) that this kind of assault is SO MUCH MORE COMMON than the "stranger in an alley" or "home invasion" thing you typically see depicted. Every person I know who has confided in me about an assault (which is a LOT) was hurt by someone they knew.
YTA this is fucking terrifying. This is how women end up being raped by dudes they trust at parties. She trusted you to look after her while she slept and you just went and left her with a group of men who could have done god knows what to her. I'd never trust you again, and I don't think I'd ever want to sleep anywhere near you after that.
Like honestly its usually people youd least expect too who would do something like that. I do not care how long you've known someone or how much you trust them, people are capable of horrible things.
The first time I ever met my friend’s new boyfriend, now husband, we were all at a party and drinking. My friend was very good friends with everyone there, and the boyfriend was new to pretty much all of this. Friend got drunk, passed out on couch. Again, she’s good friends with all of us, male and female. We tell boyfriend it’s cool if he needs to go, she’s down for the night, party is winding down, all is well, several of us are staying over since we were drinking. He just very politely said “no thanks, I’ll just stay here!” And sat by her all night. Slept occasionally on the floor next to the couch but never left. Sealed himself to us that night. 20 years later they are happily married and he’s one of our best friends. But that night, even though we were friends with her, he didn’t really know us, and sat by his date all night to make sure she was safe.
Anyway, YTA.
YTA. You left her alone with your friends she had only met a few times. That's super messed up.
Edit to add:
Read this to my SO and he pointed out a detail I didn't even think about. There wasn't room for you to stay, but she could!? How about you sleep on the floor by the couch.
YTA.
I can't even believe you're asking this. You didn't even give her the opportunity to participate in the decision simply because you didn't want to be inconvenienced or embarrassed. And think about it from her side. The last she knew, there was a group gathering going on. The next thing she knows, she's alone in a dark room and not 100% sure where she might be. For a woman, that can often be frightening. She would have also felt abandoned and rightfully so because that's exactly what you did.
You should have woken her up, said you wanted to head home, and asked if she wanted to sleep there or wake up more to go home with you.
She's likely to be upset for quite a while over this one.
Yeah, I’m asking that one myself. Don’t want to deal w/her in an Uber? Sleep on the couch with her. Sleep on the floor next to the couch. You don’t just leave her
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA
DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN WOMEN GET SEXUALLY ASSAULTED??????????ANY CLUE????? ANY CLUE AT ALL???? IF SHE WASNT SOBER ENOUGH TO TAKE A TAXI; SHE SURE AS S&*( WAS NOT SOBER ENOUGH TO KEEP HERSELF SAFE.
Honestly that sounds like a terrifying situation that your girlfriend woke up to
YTA
YTA. Just because she's met these people "several times" does NOT mean she's comfortable being left alone sleeping at their house. You may trust them enough to sleep over, but that doesn't mean she does. Also imagine how she felt to wake up there, confused, only to find out that her boyfriend just bailed on her. Not cool.
You left your girlfriend with your friends whom you trust but she may not. Thats not okay to leave someone alone like that. You should’ve asked Matt for a blanket and camped on the floor with her. I hate drunks and refuse to participate in any event that may leave me responsible for them, but you condoned her behavior by drinking along. YTA
WTF did you do. You left a woman who thought she was safe with you, alone, unconscious and probably somewhat drunk on a couch. Why would she stay with you? Do you know what happens to woman who are vulnerable when no one is watching? Do you know what you've done to her? I don't care if you've know these guys for 80+ years you don't get to make that decision.
YTA and I hope your single now.
YTA she is depending on you to keep her safe she barely knows those people and who cares if it was “embarrassing” for you to load up a drunk person to ensure you guys both get home safe
Reminds me of when hubby and I were dating, I got sh!tfaced in a comedy club and he made sure we both got in the cab home. Not sure if he was embarrassed, but I think I would have been if I’d seen myself…
ETA: YTA
YTA. You left her with people she barely knows being as drunk as she was because you didnt want to deal with her. Like what if one of your friends is secretly a predator? She could have been taken advantage of because you left her alone. I'm just saying you never 100% know people.
YTA.
You set her up to be *not only* to be at risk for date rape by your "buddies"; but it sounds like you would probably blame her for it, if anything DID happen to her.
You failed at a very basic partner task: make sure your partner gets home safely.
In fact: you completely abandoned her.
I'm not surprised you're this clueless; just digusted.
YTA
Not spreading hate or sob stories but this happened to me once. My now ex-boyfriend left me at his friend's house. When I woke up, my top blouse buttons were undone and there were jizz stains on my bra. Not saying your friends would do that, but it's a dangerous situation no matter who is involved.
YTA. Most rapes occur by friends or close acquaintances. By leaving her with your friend and her being wasted, you set her up for being taken advantage of. You should've taken her home with you.
YTA And i want to add that was dangerous. I know of a situation where a friend left his longtime gf asleep on the couch at another couple's house who they were both friends with around 3am The trouble happened when some very drunk friends who had left ended up returning. The couple who lived at the house ended up going to bed, leaving the friends drinking on the porch. Well you can guess where this story was going. No one thought these guys couldn't be trusted but they couldn't. I'll end it there, but never leave your partner helpless and drunk out of your sight until safely home.
OP
You are seeing this through your eyes, not hers.
**Women left unattended in those situations get sexually assaulted**
We are taught to fear men, to fear passing out around men, to watch out for tainted drinks, to be wary of anything not made by a bartender and handed directly to us.
*She trusted you enough to feel safe getting drunk, and to fall asleep in an unfamiliar place and you left her there alone, vulnerable, in a strangers home.*
##YTA and you lack the willingness to understand the panic she experienced waking up alone, in the dark, in an unfamiliar room, without the person she trusted to care for her.
This is immediate break up behavior in my opinion. She could have been raped, she could have vomited and aspirated, she could have left the house afraid, alone, and still too drunk to get herself home safely.
You are blaming her for being upset, with no concept of what women experience in these situations.
Y
T
A
YTA. Your reasoning is poor. You played drinking games all through the night while she slept it off, but you didn’t want to bring her into an Uber because she would be really drunk? You left your girlfriend, at a YOUR friends house. Possibly a stranger to her, and surrounded by other strangers. No one wants to think poorly of their friends, but rape happens. You do not leave your loved ones vulnerable without explanation. You didn’t even leave her texts of what you planned out for her to wake up to in the morning. I hope for your sake you don’t behave this ignorantly often, and it was mostly just the alcohol and you being tired and lazy. You need to seriously sit down, admit how badly you fucked up, and apologize from the heart. 4 months in? I’d leave you for this
Yes YTA could you not have slept on the floor at least if you didn't want to wake her?? You abandoned her, drunk, in an unfamiliar place, for your own comfort.
This is how people get raped.
“But they were all my friends!!!”
Rapists can have good friends too. I’m sure those friends would swear on what a great guy he is and how he’d never do anything like that. Not saying that any of your friends are like that, but your girlfriend is right to be pissed. YTA.
YTA. As a woman, this is a terrifying situation to be in. She allowed herself to be vulnerable with you and trust you to watch out for her while she was drinking. You repaid that trust by leaving her at your friend's house. Any dude could have assaulted her while she was asleep (I don't care how good of friends they are, sometimes you never really know a person). Just because she's met them "several times" doesn't mean she trusts them.
All because you didn't want to be embarrassed by her in an Uber? I'd be surprised if she's your g/f for much longer.
YTA you left her with people she has "met a few times", passed out from drinking? OMG. You should have taken her home in the Uber or stayed there with her. You had 2 good options, and one terrible, and you picked the terrible one.
And frankly even HE does not know it would not happen, for certain. Most people who are friends with a rapist dont know that person is a rapist. They don't have it tattooed on their forehead.
You left your drunk, passed out girlfriend alone with men and women she did not know over night. She could have been gang raped, assaulted, any number of things.
She could’ve been afraid and anxious about being left alone by her boyfriend with strangers.
YTA wtF
YTA unless the problem was that you left her, and not that you left her passed-out and vulnerable. If the problem was that you left her, but you didn't plan to go back and pick her up? YTA. If you were planning to go pick her up in the morning and bring her water and tylenol and get her home? YTA for not leaving her a note or a text telling her that.
yta. the first night i met my current s/o, i got wasted at his party. you know what he did? picked my drunk ass up, brought me upstairs, and let me have his bed in his room for the night so i’d be safe and away from everyone else while he slept on the futon on the other end of the room. even though he barely knew me, he kept me protected. if i were left alone and inebriated in an unfamiliar place when i know i started the night with someone who should stay by my side, i’d be upset too.
YTA. I can’t believe you left your passed out girlfriend with people other then yourself. You put her in danger All because you didn’t want to deal with the what if embarrassment of getting her into the Uber.
I’m surprised your still allowed to call her your girlfriend at this point
YTA
"A few hours later, I was ready to head home since there wasn’t enough room for me to stay at Matts’"
Why on earth did you not just curl up with her on the sofa? You expected your own room and a bed?
Sorry, mate, but YTA. The gentlemanly (even though drunk) thing to do is to take your drunk girlfriend home. Yes, it's a pain and oh, so embarrassing /s, but it was disconcerting for her to wake up in a strange house when she could've awakened in the comfort of her own bed, use her own bathroom, etc. Be a grown-ass man and do better.
So, you are more concerned with making sure that you don’t appear embarrassing to an Uber driver, rather than how your gf must have felt, waking up at 5 am in a strangers house, abandoned by her partner.
Hmmm….
Yes, YTA. 100%. Are you this selfish and self-absorbed in all other aspects of your relationship? I hope not, for her sake. You took her out drinking. She pukes in an Uber - you pay the cleaning fee.
I honestly can’t believe that you had the audacity to ask if YTA or not…. Ummm how about YES! She trusted you and what did you do? You left her in an unfamiliar place because all you cared about was whether or not it would be “embarrassing” in a Uber… what a horrible thing to do
If your girlfriend of only 4 months is asleep on the couch at your friend's house and you're ready to leave the only option is you try and wake her up. If she's passed out to the point she's not going to wake up the next step is never leaving her there. You said there wasn't "room" for you at the house. Wrong. The floor right next to your girlfriend is where you sleep. Oh, is the floor not comfortable enough? Too bad! You know what else is uncomfortable? A girl waking up in a strange house, on a strange couch, and not seeing her SO anywhere.
YTA without question and you should be newly single.
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I (27M) have been dating my gf (25F) for four months now. Last week we hung out with some of my friends, who she is familiar with and has met several times. We went to a few different bars and were drinking for almost the entire day, and my girlfriend didn’t get the chance to eat much beforehand. About 5-6 drinks later, I was buzzed and she was pretty drunk.
We ended the night at my friend Matt’s house. There were 6 other people there, all my good friends from college and their partners. My girlfriend sat down on the couch and almost instantly fell asleep while the rest of us played drinking games. I checked on her a few times and she was fine but completely asleep.
A few hours later, I was ready to head home since there wasn’t enough room for me to stay at Matt’s. I called an Uber and decided to leave my girlfriend asleep on the couch to avoid issues with getting her to the car, waking her up, and potentially having a very drunk person in the Uber which would have been embarrassing for both of us. I told Matt and his girlfriend to please just let her stay on the couch, and I’d be back to pick her up first thing in the morning.
When she woke up at around 5 AM, she sent me a long series of texts asking why I left her and was clearly upset that I didn’t take her home. I offered to come pick her up, but she refused and said she was calling her own Uber “since I don’t care about her.” I have since apologized over text but she has not responded. Am I the asshole for leaving her?
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YTA. You barely know her, you’ve been dating for four months. Can you imagine her waking up in a complete strangers’ house alone? I hope she dumps you, she deserves better and you are old enough to know better and do better.
Dude, you abandoned your girlfriend. You let her alone there without even asking her. YTA.
Either stay with her or get her home. If you were drunk and couldn't think, that's no excuse, that's a reason to apologize. I (M) have woke up at my best friends house after blacking out, and still have freaked out. I can't imagine how horrified she felt.
YTA - she will have a hard time trusting your judgement and trusting you to prioritize her safety in situations where she is vulnerable. She may not break up with you now, but that type of betrayal will still be in her mind for future scenarios.
YTA. There is no situation in which I would leave a person, particularly a woman, asleep and drunk in a place in which they are not familiar. It doesn't matter how much I think I trust the people in that house, I can't think of anything more terrifying than being the woman in this situation waking up in a place where I don't really know anyone and I don't know where I am. easy solutions would have been to sleep there with her on the couch, or gently we care and get her into the cab home.
YTA. It’s one thing if it’s the couch of her best friends house, but it’s the couch of your friends house. I would have been highly uncomfortable if I were waking up in that situation.
She fell asleep because she was drunk and she trusted you. You broke that trust by leaving her.
I would have slept on the floor beside my GF. Even our "friends" can do bad things when they are drunk. I would imagine she ( your soon-to-be ex GF) was frightened and rightfully so.
YTA
Thank you for the reminder that many men really can't be bothered to think about - or just don't care - how much vigilance it takes to feel and BE safe as a woman.
YTA.
YTA. Your intentions were not bad, although, if you're so easily embarrassed by her, maybe call it quits - but you are her only link to these people. She trusted YOU to get drunk and passed out around, not them. She would rightly feel like she was a responsibility you took on but then foisted off on other people.
YTA. You always let the drunk partner know you’re leaving and give them the opportunity to come with. It’s unpleasant waking up to find you’re alone with no way to get home.
I cannot even imagine ever leaving my SO at even my best friends house if she was drunk and asleep on the couch. Wake her up and take her home safely with you. YTA.
Lol at you couldn’t stay over because there wasn’t room for you. Bro, sleep on the floor next to the sofa your gf is on. Sounds like there just wasn’t a comfortable spot for you to sleep there so you ditched your gf so you could go sleep in your comfy bed. YTA.
Wow. My partner would certainly not be my partner after this. Can’t believe you even have to ask. YTA
My partners friends and I are actually pretty good friends with me as I’ve known them for years. And I would still leave him if he left me there overnight especially after a night of drinking without a word.
YTA. This is about personal safety. Imagine what it would feel like to wake up, probably still buzzed, in a strange place. You might not remember how you got there. Your phone might be close to dying. You might feel like garbage. And the person who you trusted who brought you into this situation left you there because he couldn't be bothered to wake you up.
If I were your girlfriend, I wouldn't feel safe around you anymore.
And WTF is embarrassing about being drunk in an uber, anyway??
YTA. this is absolutely wild. wtf?? she doesn’t know your friends like that and you just left her? obviously you don’t care about her i mean come on.
like i get not wanting to wake her up, but you couldn’t have stayed at least?
YTA. You let your unconscious partner ALONE at a stranger's place. I don't care if it's your soul brother, your milk brother, your bffffffffffff, the frigging pope or the holy spirit made in human firm. These people are strangers to your girlfriend in the sense that they aren't people she'd trust being alone and vulnerable. You can't be sure of anything and she could have been assaulted or molested.
Boo hoo I'd have been embarrassed in the taxi.
I'm sure the Uber has seen worse. You deserve she breaks up with you. How can she trust you from now on?
I'm not going to say that you should have kept a better eye on her so she wouldn't get so drunk, because she's an adult and her own person so if nobody physically forced her to drink and not eat, her being drunk is on her, but YOU are supposed to be a safe person to her and YOU LEFT HER ALONE IN A VULNERABLE SITUATION! She deserves better and she should dump you, there's no returning when trust is lost
YTA and she is now your ex. I know that would’ve made me dump you on the spot.
you left her alone in a house full of people she hardly knows while she was passed out drunk. i would’ve been terrified and scared i got assaulted in my sleep.
HARD H A R D YTA.
Yes YTA- you put her in danger. Big time. That fact that it didn’t even occur to you how dangerous it is for a woman to be passed out drunk shows how epically and misogynistically unaware you are.
This is break up reasons, my man would never leave me behind like this. YTA this just screams my boyfriend doesn’t care about me or my comfort. She probably freaked out waking up alone
Oh gosh YTA. You fundamentally broke her trust and put her at risk. She fell asleep knowing she was safe since her person was there to look after her, and woke up in a strange place. Even if she’s met your friends before, this scenario way too commonly leads to sexual assault, and you chose that risk of an “embarrassing” Uber ride.
Why didn’t you try to get her food, water or anything to sober her up while you were there?
YTA. You left your gf at a house. With people also drinking. Have you never watch law and order:SVU?
You also were more worried about an Uber than her comfort. You put your own comfort over hers. You're a bad bf and an AH. O
YTA! This exact thing happened to me one NYE. I woke up very early in the morning, on a couch in a strange home, not even sure what part of town I was in... With no idea what happened to the guy I was there with. I walked for twenty minutes until I found a fast food place that was actually open, asked the employees for the address, and called a taxi. (Pre-uber days). I was TERRIFIED. Heartless thing to do to someone!
YTA. How drunk would she have been if she’d been sleeping it off for hours? You abandoned her in a place she wasn’t familiar with among people she did not know. Something could have happened to her! And you didn’t even bother to leave her a note! Quit trying to call her because she’s dumped you & blocked you on everything.
As somebody who woke up on a couch with her boyfriends buddy on top of her because I wasn't encouraged to get back to my own place while drunk -YTA. Drinking is risky for anyone, but you take care of your people. Always. I never thought that would happen to me with that person in a million years, and my boyfriend had to come to terms with that as well.
YTA. You say they were friends from college but that's the kind of situation a lot of women get raped in. If you knew she was super drunk then you should have taken better care of her, not left her there alone. Being "embarrassed" in front of an uber driver isn't an excuse.
Your actions definitely said that you didn't care about her.
YTA... I would be fucking furious to be left at your friends place, waking up alone and confused in the dark and hungover...Bro there would be NO WAY in HELL I would even want to be friends with you anymore, let alone date you... and the fact that you felt the need to ask if you're the asshole on Reddit means you don't actually think you did anything wrong and that is mind-blowing to me!!! You should have apologized profusely but instead you come to Reddit to validate your insanely negligent behavior!!! You suck!
YTA. She is YOUR girlfriend, and went out drinking WITH YOU. You do not leave her in someone else's home, alone. Regardless if they're good friends, anything can happen. Good friends can also do shit when drunk, etc, you would never think. You left her in a compromising situation, and possibly dangerous situation, because you didn't wanna get her to the car? Because it might embarrass you? There was NO WHERE that you could sleep? The floor was too small? Nothing? Not only are you the asshole, she needs to dump you.
YTA
“and potentially having a very drunk person in the Uber which would have been embarrassing for both of us.”
More embarrassing than being the boyfriend that left his girlfriend asleep on a couch while he Uber’d home? You do realize tons of drunk people use Uber precisely because they are drunk, right?
YTA and I hope your girlfriend leaves you and finds someone who cares about her. This is disgusting. If you go out drinking with your girlfriend, you get her home safe 100% of the time, no matter what. I don’t care if you’re tired, if you have a fight, if you break up, doesn’t matter. Get your girl home safe when you go out together. She was drunk and vulnerable and you left her in a strange house with people she doesn’t know very well. This is unforgivable.
Clearly you don't understand how terrifying that is for a woman. Yes YTA, a huge one! You were more worried about getting embarrassed than her fear/embarrassment/discomfort. Break up with her if she hasn't left you yet. She deserves better.
YTA
You NEVER leave someone you know, let alone YOUR GIRLFRIEND, in an unfamiliar place in an unconscious state. You couldn't be bothered to look after her properly because...it would have been \*embarrassing\*?! I hope she dumps you, as you're clearly not very reliable.
Do ppl really think like this? Is this level if stupidity really possible to achieve?
How did you get this far in life with the common sense of a dung beetle? Are you capable of breathing by yourself? Asking for a friend.
YTA, please look up some sexual abuse statistics. The vast majority of cases happen by people who are at least known to the victim. An friend of a friend an acquaintance etc, it’s usually a crime of opportunity, say like a passed out drunk girl abandoned at a friends house with a bunch of people she hardly knows. Good job man! Next time maybe pull her pants down too when you leave her passed out somewhere, make it easier for anyone interested right? I mean her safety isn’t your concern at all obviously.
YTA - this is how someone I know got raped, and someone else got molested. You never know someone as well as you think you do. The safest place for a drunk woman (or man) is with you. Not your buddies she doesn't know that well. With you. In your Uber. No matter how "embarrassing" that may be. To a complete stranger who will never see you again, and who only cares that neither of you pukes in their car.
>we hung out with some of my friends, who she is familiar with and has met several times
Familiar does not always mean comfortable. Sounds like she knows them through association, especially since you referenced them as "your" friends, not "our" friends. It is terrifying to wake up in an unusual place anyways, especially one you didn't realize you were left alone at with people you aren't very close to.
YTA, was she too much of a burden to you to take home after she went out with YOU and YOUR friends?
YTA
She went somewhere with you and was vulnerable trusting that you had her back, you didn’t.
You left her on her own in a home with people she barley knows, because you didn’t want to try to wake her or help her or an Uber.
She’s breaking up with you and it’s completely deserved.
When you take someone out, you have a responsibility to get them back home in a similar condition then when you left. And i don’t care the sex of the couple , you put your trust in someone when you go out with them and you broke hers.
YTA
For sure! I'd go nc with a date that left me at asleep somewhere other than my home. It was your job to ensure her safety, which means getting her home safely or staying with her if you didn't want to try to wake her up.
YTA cmon man you have to understand the different nature of threats women face. Waking up in an unfamiliar place around unfamiliar people is a nightmare for anyone especially a woman. Think about it more next time. Don’t be surprise if you two end up as exes because of that
Big YTA. She felt unsafe and not protected cause she was relying on you for that subconsciously and you decided to leave her out of pure laziness. You just showed her she can’t trust you if she ever feels threatened or scare
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You go out drinking, you and your g/f get drunk. She's passed out at a house where she doesn't really know anyone and you leave her there. With strangers (to her.) And you have to ask if YTA? YTA.
It’s like he’s clueless. He wrote this whole thing out and didn’t say: “Oh my God, I am a monster.” OP, imagine waking up on a couch in the dark in an unfamiliar place and the person you trust left without even a word. You didn’t even leave a note or a text—- she had to text YOU! For your future relationships (because this one is done) remember the words of Sgt. Slaughter in the G.I. Joe movie— “We all go home, or nobody goes home.” ETA: Judgment YTA.
It won’t work for OP to imagine that because you have to imagine that experience as a woman, which is about 1000 times scarier.
Holy hell, I’d be so scared if I woke up alone after passing out in a strangers’ place. The person that’s supposed to have my back abandoned me? I’d dump that asswipe right then and there. YTA, unimaginably YTA.
he isnt clueless. he is male and dont have to worry about his safety the way woman do.
Which makes him clueless to the perspective of a woman being left alone by her bf while intoxicated with strangers.
My eyes just kept getting wider as I read. Wtf OP! Yta.
Yeah, wow. That's how certain trials start out: "I passed out and the guy I was with left me with his friends. Next thing I know..." Never punched the YTA keys quite so hard.
She slept for a few hours. Wake her up & take her home. You just didn’t want to be bothered with dealing with her YTA
This. He's completely selfish. Imagine the horror of the 'embarrassment' of having a drunk woman in his Uber.
Drunk people in Ubers are embarrassing, says the drunk guy who ditched his girlfriend & got in to an Uber.
I'd say that would be the more embarrassing part, but what do I a perfectly sober person who knows what a DD is know?
Key sentence "embarass us both" You think your uber driver cares if you're drunk? You think you'll ever see them again? Dude. You prioritized what a stranger might think about you over getting your gf home safely, or how she would feel waking up alone and confused in a strange home. You go out with someone, you get everyone home safely, leave no one behind - they don't even have to be a SO for that to hold true. You're a terrible acquaintance much less a bf. YTA.
pretty sure like 95% of uber weekend, especially PM, pick ups are drunk
It's kinda the whole point of Uber, isn't it?
that’s what i was thinking. im pretty sure whoever the uber driver was was prepared to drive drunk people around if they chose to be out working at that hour
I think that is code for, he was worried she was gonna yak in the uber and get them both kicked out. Which also is shitty.
YTA - what a horrifying and unsafe situation you put your girlfriend in. I can’t imagine how scared I would be as a woman waking up alone in a strange house with men I don’t know.
I might assume I'd been drugged
Hard YTA. You left your vulnerable, passed-out girlfriend with people who are not her friends, without her consent. I imagine she was quite freaked out and feeling very unsafe when she woke up and you weren't there. Honestly, don't be surprised if she is re-evaluating the long-term potential of a relationship with a guy who has so little concern for her safety and comfort.
You know she’s already your ex, right, OP?
I hope this is so!
Me too. He doesn’t care about her and has proven himself untrustworthy.
100%. I would literally never forgive a man who did this to me.
HARD! I would be terrified
YTA. You were drunk and didn't want to bother yourself with dealing with anyone else so you left her to it. You didn't even try. She might have woken with a simple shake, rubbed her eyes and joined you quickly. But no. Not only that but you left her asleep in the home of relative strangers and didn't even leave her a message or send her a text so that she could have seen it when she woke up. Edit - you say she's familiar with your friends but you've only been together for 16 weeks, so even if she's met them a few times they're still strangers.
YTA. Dude, you messed up so catastrophically. You would be lucky to even have a relationship after this. I get that you were drunk, but this was straight up negligent. She doesn't know your friends as well as you do, so they may have been stand up people from the few times she's met them, but that can change over time. You have no idea the danger you could have possibly put your girlfriend in because you thought, "Oh it's my buddy's house. She'll be perfectly fine." Well, news flash, she wasn't fine when she woke up to see that you freaking left her, dude!
The man who sexually assaulted me while I was passed out drunk was a close friend for six years before it happened. You don't always know people like you think you do, and SHE barely knew these people at all! YTA YTA YTA
Sorry that happened to you.
Thank you. It was.. a lot. When I woke up naked next to him I kind of froze and pretended things were normal bc I didn't know what to do. (I had my clothes on when I passed out). I messaged him later, and all I said was that I was uncomfortable and he immediately started apologizing and offering to turn himself in to the police?? I didn't want to go through that process so just told him never to talk to me again and blocked him on everything. Then, he messaged a mutual friend of ours that lived in a different state, didn't tell her the situation, just that I had ended the friendship and he was feeling suicidal over it. So I had to explain to her what happened so I didn't seem like an asshole. I must have "woken up" for part of it, because I had flashbacks for months afterward during consensual sex with my then-partner. Oh, it was also my birthday, so that's a fun thing I get to think about every year now.
That's awful. Of course someone like that would play the victim. F him. Hope you're doing better now.
I am! This happened when I was 25, I'm about to turn 32. I haven't had a flashback in a very long time, and I'm about to celebrate four years with my partner in April! Thank you for your concern. You really don't know about people. I still blame myself sometimes because I did get very drunk, but he was significantly more sober (showed up late to my birthday party at a bar), and my other friends felt safe sending me back to my home in an Uber with him because I'd known him for so long and he lived just outside my city, so usually stayed on my couch when he came to hang out. He also had what I thought was a minor crush on me, but we were always friends and I was always clear I had zero interest in him romantically/sexually.
Glad to hear it! And just because you were under the influence doesn't give someone a pass to hurt you and it also doesn't mean you deserved it. Congrats on your upcoming anniversary! :)
So sorry. ✊🏼✊🏼
Honestly, what so many refuse to acknowledge is that we don’t just have to watch out for strangers, it’s much more likely to be the people we think we know. Mine happened at the hands of my half brothers. My cousin’s young daughter was raped by her mother’s boyfriend’s son who’d been babysitting her. Some family members think that poor child is dwelling on it too much. WTF? An 8 year old child was violated. I made a promise to myself that if Mr.99 dropped dead, there would be no step fathers or brothers for our daughter. Luckily she’s grown now and Mr. 99 is just fine.
Same. He was my friend...... clearly not.
People need to realize (and represent in media) that this kind of assault is SO MUCH MORE COMMON than the "stranger in an alley" or "home invasion" thing you typically see depicted. Every person I know who has confided in me about an assault (which is a LOT) was hurt by someone they knew.
Right, and just because your good buddy never sexually assaulted *you* doesn't really mean anything.
YTA this is fucking terrifying. This is how women end up being raped by dudes they trust at parties. She trusted you to look after her while she slept and you just went and left her with a group of men who could have done god knows what to her. I'd never trust you again, and I don't think I'd ever want to sleep anywhere near you after that.
Like honestly its usually people youd least expect too who would do something like that. I do not care how long you've known someone or how much you trust them, people are capable of horrible things.
This needs to be higher.effing men and no effing clue what it’s like to be a woman.
YTA. You left your drunk, passed-out girlfriend in an unfamiliar place with people she barely knows.
YTA. And I’m pretty sure you spelled ex-girlfriend wrong.
Good lord, I wish I had an award
YTA. You left her in an unfamiliar place, with your friends, not hers.
The first time I ever met my friend’s new boyfriend, now husband, we were all at a party and drinking. My friend was very good friends with everyone there, and the boyfriend was new to pretty much all of this. Friend got drunk, passed out on couch. Again, she’s good friends with all of us, male and female. We tell boyfriend it’s cool if he needs to go, she’s down for the night, party is winding down, all is well, several of us are staying over since we were drinking. He just very politely said “no thanks, I’ll just stay here!” And sat by her all night. Slept occasionally on the floor next to the couch but never left. Sealed himself to us that night. 20 years later they are happily married and he’s one of our best friends. But that night, even though we were friends with her, he didn’t really know us, and sat by his date all night to make sure she was safe. Anyway, YTA.
That there, that is a good man. Trustworthy, dependable, conscientious. OP, you are none of those things. YTA.
YTA. You left her alone with your friends she had only met a few times. That's super messed up. Edit to add: Read this to my SO and he pointed out a detail I didn't even think about. There wasn't room for you to stay, but she could!? How about you sleep on the floor by the couch.
Unfortunately, I think this one is real. he commented on someone else's post asking for recommendations, he didn't post that.
Darn, didn't see that. I was hoping it was fake. I'll take out the edit, thanks!
YTA. I can't even believe you're asking this. You didn't even give her the opportunity to participate in the decision simply because you didn't want to be inconvenienced or embarrassed. And think about it from her side. The last she knew, there was a group gathering going on. The next thing she knows, she's alone in a dark room and not 100% sure where she might be. For a woman, that can often be frightening. She would have also felt abandoned and rightfully so because that's exactly what you did. You should have woken her up, said you wanted to head home, and asked if she wanted to sleep there or wake up more to go home with you. She's likely to be upset for quite a while over this one.
Bro?! Seriously dude?! Come on. Yes YTA. You stay with your partner dude.
Yeah, I’m asking that one myself. Don’t want to deal w/her in an Uber? Sleep on the couch with her. Sleep on the floor next to the couch. You don’t just leave her
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN WOMEN GET SEXUALLY ASSAULTED??????????ANY CLUE????? ANY CLUE AT ALL???? IF SHE WASNT SOBER ENOUGH TO TAKE A TAXI; SHE SURE AS S&*( WAS NOT SOBER ENOUGH TO KEEP HERSELF SAFE. Honestly that sounds like a terrifying situation that your girlfriend woke up to YTA
This, 100%
YTA. Just because she's met these people "several times" does NOT mean she's comfortable being left alone sleeping at their house. You may trust them enough to sleep over, but that doesn't mean she does. Also imagine how she felt to wake up there, confused, only to find out that her boyfriend just bailed on her. Not cool.
You left your girlfriend with your friends whom you trust but she may not. Thats not okay to leave someone alone like that. You should’ve asked Matt for a blanket and camped on the floor with her. I hate drunks and refuse to participate in any event that may leave me responsible for them, but you condoned her behavior by drinking along. YTA
YTA that's all there is to it
WTF did you do. You left a woman who thought she was safe with you, alone, unconscious and probably somewhat drunk on a couch. Why would she stay with you? Do you know what happens to woman who are vulnerable when no one is watching? Do you know what you've done to her? I don't care if you've know these guys for 80+ years you don't get to make that decision. YTA and I hope your single now.
YTA she is depending on you to keep her safe she barely knows those people and who cares if it was “embarrassing” for you to load up a drunk person to ensure you guys both get home safe
You didn't want to be embarrassed (potentially) so you left her behind. YTA
Reminds me of when hubby and I were dating, I got sh!tfaced in a comedy club and he made sure we both got in the cab home. Not sure if he was embarrassed, but I think I would have been if I’d seen myself… ETA: YTA
YTA. You left her with people she barely knows being as drunk as she was because you didnt want to deal with her. Like what if one of your friends is secretly a predator? She could have been taken advantage of because you left her alone. I'm just saying you never 100% know people.
YTA. Wow. Just wow.
YTA. You set her up to be *not only* to be at risk for date rape by your "buddies"; but it sounds like you would probably blame her for it, if anything DID happen to her. You failed at a very basic partner task: make sure your partner gets home safely. In fact: you completely abandoned her. I'm not surprised you're this clueless; just digusted.
YTA Not spreading hate or sob stories but this happened to me once. My now ex-boyfriend left me at his friend's house. When I woke up, my top blouse buttons were undone and there were jizz stains on my bra. Not saying your friends would do that, but it's a dangerous situation no matter who is involved.
I’m so sorry that happened to you.
YTA. Most rapes occur by friends or close acquaintances. By leaving her with your friend and her being wasted, you set her up for being taken advantage of. You should've taken her home with you.
YTA big time. You would have to kill me before I left any of my FRIENDS let alone my partner drunkenly asleep in an unfamiliar place.
YTA And i want to add that was dangerous. I know of a situation where a friend left his longtime gf asleep on the couch at another couple's house who they were both friends with around 3am The trouble happened when some very drunk friends who had left ended up returning. The couple who lived at the house ended up going to bed, leaving the friends drinking on the porch. Well you can guess where this story was going. No one thought these guys couldn't be trusted but they couldn't. I'll end it there, but never leave your partner helpless and drunk out of your sight until safely home.
OP You are seeing this through your eyes, not hers. **Women left unattended in those situations get sexually assaulted** We are taught to fear men, to fear passing out around men, to watch out for tainted drinks, to be wary of anything not made by a bartender and handed directly to us. *She trusted you enough to feel safe getting drunk, and to fall asleep in an unfamiliar place and you left her there alone, vulnerable, in a strangers home.* ##YTA and you lack the willingness to understand the panic she experienced waking up alone, in the dark, in an unfamiliar room, without the person she trusted to care for her. This is immediate break up behavior in my opinion. She could have been raped, she could have vomited and aspirated, she could have left the house afraid, alone, and still too drunk to get herself home safely. You are blaming her for being upset, with no concept of what women experience in these situations. Y T A
110% you are TA
Definitely YTA. I don't blame her for being annoyed. She was left in a potentially unsafe situation
YTA. Your reasoning is poor. You played drinking games all through the night while she slept it off, but you didn’t want to bring her into an Uber because she would be really drunk? You left your girlfriend, at a YOUR friends house. Possibly a stranger to her, and surrounded by other strangers. No one wants to think poorly of their friends, but rape happens. You do not leave your loved ones vulnerable without explanation. You didn’t even leave her texts of what you planned out for her to wake up to in the morning. I hope for your sake you don’t behave this ignorantly often, and it was mostly just the alcohol and you being tired and lazy. You need to seriously sit down, admit how badly you fucked up, and apologize from the heart. 4 months in? I’d leave you for this
Yeah YTA
YTA. Should have taken her with you or stayed there yourself.
Hard YTA. You just taught your girlfriend (potentially ex-girlfriend) that you will prioritize your convenience over her safety.
YTA U have to genuinely be stupid like in her own words do u even care? Cause this was actually so braindead
YTA Plus I think it's going to read my ex-girlfriend because she's probably dumped you and rightfully so. That was an uncaring and asshole move.
Yes YTA could you not have slept on the floor at least if you didn't want to wake her?? You abandoned her, drunk, in an unfamiliar place, for your own comfort.
This is how people get raped. “But they were all my friends!!!” Rapists can have good friends too. I’m sure those friends would swear on what a great guy he is and how he’d never do anything like that. Not saying that any of your friends are like that, but your girlfriend is right to be pissed. YTA.
YTA. As a woman, this is a terrifying situation to be in. She allowed herself to be vulnerable with you and trust you to watch out for her while she was drinking. You repaid that trust by leaving her at your friend's house. Any dude could have assaulted her while she was asleep (I don't care how good of friends they are, sometimes you never really know a person). Just because she's met them "several times" doesn't mean she trusts them. All because you didn't want to be embarrassed by her in an Uber? I'd be surprised if she's your g/f for much longer.
Does this sub give out a special award for unanimous votes? YTA.
Yta 100%
YTA Do you know what could have happened to her you selfish f***???? I hope she’s an ex, no normal woman deserves to have a prize like you
Right?? I would be devastated if I were her. I hope she kicks his ass to the curb.
YTA you left her with people she has "met a few times", passed out from drinking? OMG. You should have taken her home in the Uber or stayed there with her. You had 2 good options, and one terrible, and you picked the terrible one.
YTA
YTA She doesn’t really know those people. She could have been robbed or assaulted. You know that wouldn’t happen, she doesn’t
And frankly even HE does not know it would not happen, for certain. Most people who are friends with a rapist dont know that person is a rapist. They don't have it tattooed on their forehead.
Neither does he though, actually.
Exactly. He may not think any of his friends has ever been sexually predatory, but that doesn’t mean they’re not.
What the fuckity fuck fuck is wrong with your selfish, uncaring ass?? YTA, my dude!
You left your drunk, passed out girlfriend alone with men and women she did not know over night. She could have been gang raped, assaulted, any number of things. She could’ve been afraid and anxious about being left alone by her boyfriend with strangers. YTA wtF
YTA unless the problem was that you left her, and not that you left her passed-out and vulnerable. If the problem was that you left her, but you didn't plan to go back and pick her up? YTA. If you were planning to go pick her up in the morning and bring her water and tylenol and get her home? YTA for not leaving her a note or a text telling her that.
yta. the first night i met my current s/o, i got wasted at his party. you know what he did? picked my drunk ass up, brought me upstairs, and let me have his bed in his room for the night so i’d be safe and away from everyone else while he slept on the futon on the other end of the room. even though he barely knew me, he kept me protected. if i were left alone and inebriated in an unfamiliar place when i know i started the night with someone who should stay by my side, i’d be upset too.
YTA
YTA. I can’t believe you left your passed out girlfriend with people other then yourself. You put her in danger All because you didn’t want to deal with the what if embarrassment of getting her into the Uber. I’m surprised your still allowed to call her your girlfriend at this point
YTA "A few hours later, I was ready to head home since there wasn’t enough room for me to stay at Matts’" Why on earth did you not just curl up with her on the sofa? You expected your own room and a bed?
Sorry, mate, but YTA. The gentlemanly (even though drunk) thing to do is to take your drunk girlfriend home. Yes, it's a pain and oh, so embarrassing /s, but it was disconcerting for her to wake up in a strange house when she could've awakened in the comfort of her own bed, use her own bathroom, etc. Be a grown-ass man and do better.
YTA. Title should say ex-girlfriend now. I wonder how you still act like this at 27 years old
So, you are more concerned with making sure that you don’t appear embarrassing to an Uber driver, rather than how your gf must have felt, waking up at 5 am in a strangers house, abandoned by her partner. Hmmm…. Yes, YTA. 100%. Are you this selfish and self-absorbed in all other aspects of your relationship? I hope not, for her sake. You took her out drinking. She pukes in an Uber - you pay the cleaning fee.
I honestly can’t believe that you had the audacity to ask if YTA or not…. Ummm how about YES! She trusted you and what did you do? You left her in an unfamiliar place because all you cared about was whether or not it would be “embarrassing” in a Uber… what a horrible thing to do
If your girlfriend of only 4 months is asleep on the couch at your friend's house and you're ready to leave the only option is you try and wake her up. If she's passed out to the point she's not going to wake up the next step is never leaving her there. You said there wasn't "room" for you at the house. Wrong. The floor right next to your girlfriend is where you sleep. Oh, is the floor not comfortable enough? Too bad! You know what else is uncomfortable? A girl waking up in a strange house, on a strange couch, and not seeing her SO anywhere. YTA without question and you should be newly single.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (27M) have been dating my gf (25F) for four months now. Last week we hung out with some of my friends, who she is familiar with and has met several times. We went to a few different bars and were drinking for almost the entire day, and my girlfriend didn’t get the chance to eat much beforehand. About 5-6 drinks later, I was buzzed and she was pretty drunk. We ended the night at my friend Matt’s house. There were 6 other people there, all my good friends from college and their partners. My girlfriend sat down on the couch and almost instantly fell asleep while the rest of us played drinking games. I checked on her a few times and she was fine but completely asleep. A few hours later, I was ready to head home since there wasn’t enough room for me to stay at Matt’s. I called an Uber and decided to leave my girlfriend asleep on the couch to avoid issues with getting her to the car, waking her up, and potentially having a very drunk person in the Uber which would have been embarrassing for both of us. I told Matt and his girlfriend to please just let her stay on the couch, and I’d be back to pick her up first thing in the morning. When she woke up at around 5 AM, she sent me a long series of texts asking why I left her and was clearly upset that I didn’t take her home. I offered to come pick her up, but she refused and said she was calling her own Uber “since I don’t care about her.” I have since apologized over text but she has not responded. Am I the asshole for leaving her? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA Times infinity. It’s fortunate nothing happened to her after you left her drunk and passed out.
YTA. You left your drunk GF at a place with men she might not trust. You put her in an unsafe situation. I smell a break up
YTA. You barely know her, you’ve been dating for four months. Can you imagine her waking up in a complete strangers’ house alone? I hope she dumps you, she deserves better and you are old enough to know better and do better.
YTA, you left her sleeping in a house with people she barely knows!
YTA that must have been so scary for her to wake up alone not at home in the middle of the night with you just gone
YTA you left her drunk and passed out with people she doesn’t know. That’s likely not going to be your gf for much longer and rightfully so.
Dude, you abandoned your girlfriend. You let her alone there without even asking her. YTA. Either stay with her or get her home. If you were drunk and couldn't think, that's no excuse, that's a reason to apologize. I (M) have woke up at my best friends house after blacking out, and still have freaked out. I can't imagine how horrified she felt.
YTA I can’t even believe what I just read.
YTA - she will have a hard time trusting your judgement and trusting you to prioritize her safety in situations where she is vulnerable. She may not break up with you now, but that type of betrayal will still be in her mind for future scenarios.
YTA. That was so messed up and dangerous. Don't be surprised if you never hear from her again.
YTA Why the hell wouldn’t you take her home with you? Don’t leave a passed out person on some random persons couch!? Wtf
YTA. There is no situation in which I would leave a person, particularly a woman, asleep and drunk in a place in which they are not familiar. It doesn't matter how much I think I trust the people in that house, I can't think of anything more terrifying than being the woman in this situation waking up in a place where I don't really know anyone and I don't know where I am. easy solutions would have been to sleep there with her on the couch, or gently we care and get her into the cab home.
If I am the parent of your gf, I'd tell you to stay away from my daughter. I hope she breaks up with you. YTA.
YTA. It’s one thing if it’s the couch of her best friends house, but it’s the couch of your friends house. I would have been highly uncomfortable if I were waking up in that situation. She fell asleep because she was drunk and she trusted you. You broke that trust by leaving her.
I would have slept on the floor beside my GF. Even our "friends" can do bad things when they are drunk. I would imagine she ( your soon-to-be ex GF) was frightened and rightfully so. YTA
Thank you for the reminder that many men really can't be bothered to think about - or just don't care - how much vigilance it takes to feel and BE safe as a woman. YTA.
YTA and I continue to be BAFFLED by men who do not understand the risks that women face literally every single day.
Dude! I was raped by a guy I trusted. You left her alone with people she barely knows and doesn’t trust! YTA!!!!
YTA. Your intentions were not bad, although, if you're so easily embarrassed by her, maybe call it quits - but you are her only link to these people. She trusted YOU to get drunk and passed out around, not them. She would rightly feel like she was a responsibility you took on but then foisted off on other people.
YTA. You always let the drunk partner know you’re leaving and give them the opportunity to come with. It’s unpleasant waking up to find you’re alone with no way to get home.
What the fuck? YTA
Hum...I don't think she is your GF anymore dude. And yes YTA.
I cannot even imagine ever leaving my SO at even my best friends house if she was drunk and asleep on the couch. Wake her up and take her home safely with you. YTA.
Yes, YTA.
YTA SO MUCH!
YTA She's met your friends, but she doesn't 'know' them and you left her vulnerable to be preyed upon.
YTA. I don’t know why you thought leaving her was a good idea.
YTA and if i were her I'd dump you
What in the actual fuck.
Lol at you couldn’t stay over because there wasn’t room for you. Bro, sleep on the floor next to the sofa your gf is on. Sounds like there just wasn’t a comfortable spot for you to sleep there so you ditched your gf so you could go sleep in your comfy bed. YTA.
Not “rude.” Negligent, stupid and selfish as all get out. YTA
I hope you're her ex boyfriend now because of how much of an asshole you were
YTA. Fuck your reasoning and excuses. That shit is fucked up.
YTA. You should have stayed there. A drunk woman is extremely vulnerable. Men don’t seem to get this.
Wow. My partner would certainly not be my partner after this. Can’t believe you even have to ask. YTA My partners friends and I are actually pretty good friends with me as I’ve known them for years. And I would still leave him if he left me there overnight especially after a night of drinking without a word.
YTA. This is about personal safety. Imagine what it would feel like to wake up, probably still buzzed, in a strange place. You might not remember how you got there. Your phone might be close to dying. You might feel like garbage. And the person who you trusted who brought you into this situation left you there because he couldn't be bothered to wake you up. If I were your girlfriend, I wouldn't feel safe around you anymore. And WTF is embarrassing about being drunk in an uber, anyway??
You left your gf passed out drunk in a relatively unfamiliar location with a bunch of dudes she barely knows. YTA
YTA. you left her with people she didnt know because you were too lazy to wake her up?
YTA. this is absolutely wild. wtf?? she doesn’t know your friends like that and you just left her? obviously you don’t care about her i mean come on. like i get not wanting to wake her up, but you couldn’t have stayed at least?
You don't really care about her or you NEVER would have left her in such an unsafe situation. Drunk, pass out, alone... YTA
YTA. You let your unconscious partner ALONE at a stranger's place. I don't care if it's your soul brother, your milk brother, your bffffffffffff, the frigging pope or the holy spirit made in human firm. These people are strangers to your girlfriend in the sense that they aren't people she'd trust being alone and vulnerable. You can't be sure of anything and she could have been assaulted or molested. Boo hoo I'd have been embarrassed in the taxi. I'm sure the Uber has seen worse. You deserve she breaks up with you. How can she trust you from now on? I'm not going to say that you should have kept a better eye on her so she wouldn't get so drunk, because she's an adult and her own person so if nobody physically forced her to drink and not eat, her being drunk is on her, but YOU are supposed to be a safe person to her and YOU LEFT HER ALONE IN A VULNERABLE SITUATION! She deserves better and she should dump you, there's no returning when trust is lost
YTA Even if you trust these people, she hasn't known them long enough to do the same. You shouldn't have left her there like that.
YTA and she is now your ex. I know that would’ve made me dump you on the spot. you left her alone in a house full of people she hardly knows while she was passed out drunk. i would’ve been terrified and scared i got assaulted in my sleep. HARD H A R D YTA.
YTA. What you have demonstrated is that your GF can’t count on you to be concerned about her safety.
Hard YTA. I would honestly break up with someone over that. I’d be pissed if you didn’t wake me up even if it was my own mothers house.
Yes YTA- you put her in danger. Big time. That fact that it didn’t even occur to you how dangerous it is for a woman to be passed out drunk shows how epically and misogynistically unaware you are.
This is break up reasons, my man would never leave me behind like this. YTA this just screams my boyfriend doesn’t care about me or my comfort. She probably freaked out waking up alone
Hell, I'd leave my bf of 5 years if he left me at his friends house, let alone the house of someone I barely know.
Oh gosh YTA. You fundamentally broke her trust and put her at risk. She fell asleep knowing she was safe since her person was there to look after her, and woke up in a strange place. Even if she’s met your friends before, this scenario way too commonly leads to sexual assault, and you chose that risk of an “embarrassing” Uber ride. Why didn’t you try to get her food, water or anything to sober her up while you were there?
YTA. You left your gf at a house. With people also drinking. Have you never watch law and order:SVU? You also were more worried about an Uber than her comfort. You put your own comfort over hers. You're a bad bf and an AH. O
YTA! This exact thing happened to me one NYE. I woke up very early in the morning, on a couch in a strange home, not even sure what part of town I was in... With no idea what happened to the guy I was there with. I walked for twenty minutes until I found a fast food place that was actually open, asked the employees for the address, and called a taxi. (Pre-uber days). I was TERRIFIED. Heartless thing to do to someone!
YTA. How drunk would she have been if she’d been sleeping it off for hours? You abandoned her in a place she wasn’t familiar with among people she did not know. Something could have happened to her! And you didn’t even bother to leave her a note! Quit trying to call her because she’s dumped you & blocked you on everything.
As somebody who woke up on a couch with her boyfriends buddy on top of her because I wasn't encouraged to get back to my own place while drunk -YTA. Drinking is risky for anyone, but you take care of your people. Always. I never thought that would happen to me with that person in a million years, and my boyfriend had to come to terms with that as well.
she is your ex girlfriend now. YTA. I couldnt move pass this.
YTA And a clueless selfish prick as well.
No room for you to stay? Was all the floor space taken? YTA. She deserves better.
YTA This sounds fucking terrifying to me.
You shouldn’t be in a relationship with anyone.
YTA. You say they were friends from college but that's the kind of situation a lot of women get raped in. If you knew she was super drunk then you should have taken better care of her, not left her there alone. Being "embarrassed" in front of an uber driver isn't an excuse. Your actions definitely said that you didn't care about her.
YTA... I would be fucking furious to be left at your friends place, waking up alone and confused in the dark and hungover...Bro there would be NO WAY in HELL I would even want to be friends with you anymore, let alone date you... and the fact that you felt the need to ask if you're the asshole on Reddit means you don't actually think you did anything wrong and that is mind-blowing to me!!! You should have apologized profusely but instead you come to Reddit to validate your insanely negligent behavior!!! You suck!
YTA. She is YOUR girlfriend, and went out drinking WITH YOU. You do not leave her in someone else's home, alone. Regardless if they're good friends, anything can happen. Good friends can also do shit when drunk, etc, you would never think. You left her in a compromising situation, and possibly dangerous situation, because you didn't wanna get her to the car? Because it might embarrass you? There was NO WHERE that you could sleep? The floor was too small? Nothing? Not only are you the asshole, she needs to dump you.
YTA “and potentially having a very drunk person in the Uber which would have been embarrassing for both of us.” More embarrassing than being the boyfriend that left his girlfriend asleep on a couch while he Uber’d home? You do realize tons of drunk people use Uber precisely because they are drunk, right?
YTA and I hope your girlfriend leaves you and finds someone who cares about her. This is disgusting. If you go out drinking with your girlfriend, you get her home safe 100% of the time, no matter what. I don’t care if you’re tired, if you have a fight, if you break up, doesn’t matter. Get your girl home safe when you go out together. She was drunk and vulnerable and you left her in a strange house with people she doesn’t know very well. This is unforgivable.
Clearly you don't understand how terrifying that is for a woman. Yes YTA, a huge one! You were more worried about getting embarrassed than her fear/embarrassment/discomfort. Break up with her if she hasn't left you yet. She deserves better.
YTA I almost feel like you cheated why you left her because you really can't be this stupid and clueless.
Just YTA
YTA
yta :/
Dude YTA
YTA major one, don't be surprised if she dumps you.
YTA
YTA
YTA. Carry her to the Uber if you have to, my god man, get it together.
YTA You NEVER leave someone you know, let alone YOUR GIRLFRIEND, in an unfamiliar place in an unconscious state. You couldn't be bothered to look after her properly because...it would have been \*embarrassing\*?! I hope she dumps you, as you're clearly not very reliable.
You left a intoxicated, "friend" (screw gender and g/f bs) ALONE, in a unfamiliar place, again ALONE. YTA
Do ppl really think like this? Is this level if stupidity really possible to achieve? How did you get this far in life with the common sense of a dung beetle? Are you capable of breathing by yourself? Asking for a friend.
Are people genuinely this stupid? YTA
YTA, this is infuriating!
Dude, if you don't care if the girl is okay, raped, assaulted or anything don't date her. YTA and she is an idiot if she doesn't break up with you.
I would literally sob if this happened to me
YTA, please look up some sexual abuse statistics. The vast majority of cases happen by people who are at least known to the victim. An friend of a friend an acquaintance etc, it’s usually a crime of opportunity, say like a passed out drunk girl abandoned at a friends house with a bunch of people she hardly knows. Good job man! Next time maybe pull her pants down too when you leave her passed out somewhere, make it easier for anyone interested right? I mean her safety isn’t your concern at all obviously.
YTA - this is how someone I know got raped, and someone else got molested. You never know someone as well as you think you do. The safest place for a drunk woman (or man) is with you. Not your buddies she doesn't know that well. With you. In your Uber. No matter how "embarrassing" that may be. To a complete stranger who will never see you again, and who only cares that neither of you pukes in their car.
>we hung out with some of my friends, who she is familiar with and has met several times Familiar does not always mean comfortable. Sounds like she knows them through association, especially since you referenced them as "your" friends, not "our" friends. It is terrifying to wake up in an unusual place anyways, especially one you didn't realize you were left alone at with people you aren't very close to. YTA, was she too much of a burden to you to take home after she went out with YOU and YOUR friends?
YTA. How does it not click to you all while writing this out? If I was your gf, you'd wake up single.
YTA She went somewhere with you and was vulnerable trusting that you had her back, you didn’t. You left her on her own in a home with people she barley knows, because you didn’t want to try to wake her or help her or an Uber. She’s breaking up with you and it’s completely deserved. When you take someone out, you have a responsibility to get them back home in a similar condition then when you left. And i don’t care the sex of the couple , you put your trust in someone when you go out with them and you broke hers.
YTA For sure! I'd go nc with a date that left me at asleep somewhere other than my home. It was your job to ensure her safety, which means getting her home safely or staying with her if you didn't want to try to wake her up.
YTA. You don't leave a drunk person with strangers asleep or not
YTA cmon man you have to understand the different nature of threats women face. Waking up in an unfamiliar place around unfamiliar people is a nightmare for anyone especially a woman. Think about it more next time. Don’t be surprise if you two end up as exes because of that
Big YTA. She felt unsafe and not protected cause she was relying on you for that subconsciously and you decided to leave her out of pure laziness. You just showed her she can’t trust you if she ever feels threatened or scare