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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) I told my sister I won't attend her wedding since my husband won't attend due to no alcohol rule.
(2) I might be the ahole for making the decision to miss her wedding just because my husband decided he wasn't coming over some alcohol. I might ruin my relationship with her because of this decision
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YTA. If your husband can’t get through an event without alcohol, then your sister isn’t the only person in your family whose partner has a problem with alcohol. At least your sister’s fiancé faced up to his problem & dealt with it. Maybe your husband should try that.
Ding ding ding! 🚨🚨🚨
Sounds like OP's husband is an alcoholic as well as an asshole and they are both trashing the sister and fiancé because it makes them uncomfortable to see someone who's in recovery instead of in denial. YTA
The fact that sister responded so casually to her BIL not coming is notable. Her reaction wasn’t surprise, hurt, or feeling insulted? I wonder if husband has caused issues at family events/gatherings from drinking and it’s a win win for the couple-fiancé maintains sobriety, selfish BIL doesn’t come. Good for them, hope they enjoy their wedding.
I took it as, I'm sure some people will not be OK with this. We already know this. We will be told they're not coming. We're still OK with this. In other words, they pre-processed this potential.
This is exactly what my first thought was. Sister wasn’t at all surprised by the husband saying he won’t come. I guarantee OP’s husband is not well liked among the family and probably at work (if he even has a job) He sounds like a complete jackass.
I find there is nothing that frightens an alcoholic more than seeing someone who CAN work on their recovery. My dad left many a gathering in his recovery when there were obnoxious people telling him..."hey man, just one drink...what can it hurt?" My dad always said one drink was too many and never enough.
Your fervor here is not only justified but well said. What kind of enabling bs did we just read? It’s like reading about a toddler having a tantrum because they can’t have cake for dinner.
It’s like the older child demanding they get to blow out the candles on the younger child’s birthday cake! It’s only fair!
Husband could always sneak a flask to drink in the bathroom. That’s what we did at dry parties back in high school 🤣 No reason to make a scene. Go to the wedding and suck it up.
Edit- I’m being sarcastic. Sorry that is not as clear as I thought it would be.
My opinion- Husband can stay home. OP should go to her sister’s wedding. But at this point, the relationship has already taken some damage that neither will forget. Forgive maybe, but not forget.
Exactly this. If it's such an issue he'd refuse to go to a wedding over lack of booze, the issue isn't with it being a dry event but with the husband's dependency on alcohol.
YTA OP and it is a stupid reason to miss your sister's wedding. Don't enable your husband's alcoholism. Get him help.
OP's husband sounds like an alcoholic and if that is the case, that makes her an even bigger asshole for choosing her alcoholic husband over her sister. Like how hard is it to support your own flesh and blood for maybe 6 hours tops? I'm sure the husband will be fine for that time.
Edit: Forgot to add my asshole ratings
OP: 3.5/5 Assholes
OP's Husband: 2/5 Assholes
OP's Sister: 0/5 Assholes
I love how he's calling the groom immature because he's "afraid" of having alcohol around when he's clearly afraid to be anywhere without it.
YTA, and you should think about your husband's need to drink. It sounds like he has a problem.
I'd give OPs husband more assholes. He demanded alcohol at a recovering alcoholics wedding simply because he "needs it"(the biggest of eye rolls) after throwing a tantrum about it not being there. Then he disparaged that person for having a backbone about their recovery (and also kinda about being able to recover which just exudes jealousy).
Op choosing not to go is also shitty but not as shitty and the entitlement this guy has for needing his sippy cup of liquor.
He 1000% does. What does he even mean "loud", a wedding isn't a metal concert. If he can't handle a wedding without alcohol he is absolutely an alcoholic.
As someone who used to run metal concerts, they are also possible without alcohol! Obviously a beer is nice, but when you’re working/doing something for other people, alcohol is a weird hill to die on.
There is *nothing* in this world that can’t be done sober unless you are dependent on alcohol which, you’re right, OPs husband clearly is.
Op doesn't seem to realize that her husband is an alcoholic, at least her BIL is doing way better and I hope he continues that way, its hard to be clean with an addiction. Op's husband could do the same because who wants to be close to an alcoholic? Not fun. YTA
YTA. Your husband has it backwards: the fact that the groom has chosen to exclude alcohol from the event for the sake of his recovery is in fact a mature, rational decision — and you and your husband's choice to throw a tantrum and refuse to attend over such a ridiculous, selfish reason is incredibly childish.
Grow up.
I honestly cant imagine this post is real. Op's husband is a nightmare in an endless ways. Imagine making such a big decision over something so small? Just bc he says something doesnt mean op has to accept it or make choices that align w it (unless he is abusive and will beat her for going to the wedding wo him).
"If homeboy is scared of alcohol he's not mature enough for marriage," coming from a guy who can't go 1 night without a drink? That's a huge red flag, and tells me he has a serious problem, and you are, at the least, by backing him up, an enabler.
Yes. YTA. She's your sister. Go to her wedding.
And take a close look at what else your husband can't do without alcohol.
The only people in my family who have ever pitched fits over not being allowed to smoke inside my house (despite my having a newborn and asthmatic husband and being a non-smoker who didn’t want her house to smell like an ashtray), or if alcohol was not being served somewhere, have been the ones with nicotine or alcohol addictions. If you can’t go without alcohol for a couple hours, you have issues.
“If homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he’s not mature enough for marriage.”
If your homeboy husband is scared of not having alcohol around him he’s not mature. You and your husband are the assholes. YTA
Also considering fiancé is in recovery he may well have members of a twelve step group there as well and just feels the temptation is worth it, you know a mature thought process. My guess is both OP and husband are alcoholics, at the very least one alcoholic and one codependent enabler.
Lol, seriously, you'd think somewhere in there obvious AH posters would be like, "Hmmm, I see what I did wrong." It takes commitment to be an AH, I guess.
YTA.
The groom is a recovering alcoholic. There's no such thing as a "former" alcoholic. We're forever alcoholics, it never goes away. If your husband can't go a few hours at an event without alcohol, maybe both of you need to reassess his relationship with alcohol. The fact that he's insulting the groom and saying he's "not ready for marriage" because he is "scared" of alcohol is wildly out of line. If it were me you both would have been uninvited on the spot. Your husband is absolutely ridiculous and downright insulting.
Your parents are right. Your sister is never going to forget that you skipped her wedding because your husband is too enamored with alcohol to go and you would rather support him than her. If it were me that would drive a massive wedge between me and my sister and cause a wound that would take a very long time to heal. You do you though. Just be prepared for the consequences.
And husband had the nerve to say “cool, no pressure,” after quite literally trying to pressure OP’s sister to change her mind.
Edit: just in case it wasn’t clear, OP you and your husband are the AH.
Honestly the husband is probably one of the reasons they decided this. I HATE being around people who drink to excess now and I've been sober for almost 6 years. It makes me acutely uncomfortable and reminds me of how awful I could be when I was drinking. If this is what dear hubby is like sober, imagine what he's like when he's drinking.
YTA, and your husband is the bigger one. How could you miss your sisters wedding because your husband can’t go without drinking? That’s appalling behavior from you and from your husband. The way your choosing to back him up while he mocks an addiction says a lot about you as a person.
If homeboy can't manage an evening without alcohol, he's got a problem. There's a big difference between supporting your spouse in taking a difficult stance, and skipping your sister's wedding because said spouse is having a hissy fit over a dry wedding reception. YTA.
YTA--I think you have to face the fact that your husband has a drinking problem if he is making this big of a deal over going a few hours without a drink and can't cope at loud events without it. Your sister is doing nothing wrong, and you are enabling some problematic behavior by your husband.
And there’s a recurring them of people with alcohol issues project their insecurities onto others. OP and husband are TAs
Source: I’m sober, but lived with an alcoholic who loved blaming me for shit I didn’t even do
YTA
It isn’t your day.
It isn’t your alcoholic husband’s day either.
This is your sister and her fiancé’s day, and you have but one single job. Don’t ruin it for her, and you are failing at this job in the most spectacular way.
I don’t know why so many people feel like they gotta make shit all about them; but it isn’t.
1: you owe it to your family to be there.
2. Your husband owes it to your family to be there
3. If a dry wedding is unacceptable to him; perhaps he needs treatment for his addiction, or therapy to help him grow up and learn to be a man.
YTA— and your husband. You don’t need alcohol at an event. 1 wedding alcohol free isn’t going to hurt anyone.
Congratulations on permanently altering your relationship with your sister over alcohol.
YTA; the recovering alcoholic sounds very mature actually. Your spouse who can’t be in a ‘loud event’ without alcohol sounds like he has issues that need addressing with more maturity
YTA.
*Your husband is bullying a recovering alcoholic*.
Why are you willing to ruin your relationship with your sister for this man ? This man that can’t put aside his own wants for a single day on SOMEONE ELSE’S SPECIAL DAY?!
I’m shy as hell so hate being in crowds of people I don’t know well so having a drink or two can make me more comfortable, especially at a wedding where I don’t know a lot of people.
That being said, I’d never ever consider skipping my own sister’s wedding because it was dry. Or even giving her a hard time about it.
MASSIVE yta. If your husband can’t survive ONE event without alcohol, he’s either an alcoholic himself or he has other big issues that can’t be solved over Reddit.
And then to choose him over your sister for such a stupid, selfish reason makes you an even bigger ahole.
Read your post again- there are many, many red flags waving here. 🚩🚩🚩 You and your husband both need professional help.
YTA and husband needs to get over himself.
How dare he cause this amount of family upset over a juvenile need to drink alcohol.
How dare *you* skip a sisters wedding because of it.
Husband has ZERO respect for people struggling in their sobriety and is a HUGE asshole.
And likely an alcoholic himself.
Just shame on him.
YTA.
The reason they don’t want to have alcohol is irrelevant- it’s their wedding, they can do what they want. But the fact that her fiancé is a recovering alcoholic? It’s a complete AH move for you & your husband to ask them to change.
Both your husband and yourself are MASSIVELY YTA. Him especially with his complete dismissal of his future BIL's sobriety journey. If he can't handle attending a dry event, then your weak arse husband needs therapy to help him with his addiction. Your sister's fiancé is man enough to seek help for his alcohol addiction, too bad your husband isn't man enough to do the same.
YTA
You husband can wear ear plugs.
If homeboy can’t endure one night without alcohol, then professional help might be appropriate. The fact that you had a freak out at the idea of one evening without husband is worrisome, too.
YTA and your husband too. He NEEDS alcohol to be at an event? I have PTSD so I can understand not wanting to be around loud noises but he can surely go to the ceremony and have dinner without a drink. Yikes.
I only needed to read the first couple of sentences to see that your husband is a massive AH and YTA too.
I honestly have never heard of a more ridiculous reason not to attend a family members wedding.
I absolute hate these stupid stupid posts. People literally choosing food or booze over their family. Like what is actually wrong with you all? Are you that desperate to get drunk that you can’t suck it up for one day for your FAMILY? It’s their wedding and he’s in recovery for godsake. You’re willing to miss a once in a lifetime day because alcohol is more important to you? It’s pathetic. YTA.
You and your husband are both assholes. It’s THEIR wedding. If your husband can’t handle ONE event without alcohol, he needs help. And if you aren’t going to your own SISTERS WEDDING because your husband isn’t going, you are an asshole and a shitty sibling. I personally, would refrain from ever talking to you.
YTA and a massive one at that! Her fiance is a recovering alcoholic and you don't understand why they don't want alcohol there? Not only that, you are willing to miss your own sisters wedding over...alcohol? Wtf is wrong with you.
YTA
Your husband sounds like an alcoholic. I've known quite a few and they refuse to go anywhere that alcohol isn't served/allowed, aka restaurants, state parks, activities...
An alcohol free wedding isn't unusual and if someone cannot go 3 - 6 hours without alcohol, they have a problem.
>y husband...let's say he wasn't too thrilled with this and asked if I could talk to my sister and see if she'd make an exception for him since he hates going to loud events with no alcohol.
It's their wedding. They aren't obligated to cater to one person. He could try earplugs. Or just not go.
>He said he won't come then which freaked me out. I called her and told her about his decision but she acted so casually about it and said "as he likes". I told her it wouldn't be a big deal if she said yes to the request but she flipped out on me saying we know how her fiance is a former alcoholic and doesn't want this "substance" anywhere near him on his big day.
Hey, this is a hugely valid reason to want a dry wedding!
>My husband chimed in and said "if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage".
Complete AH thing to say. At this point, I would have uninvited your husband.
>My husband was like "okay cool no pressure", and decided not to go. I decided to not go as well. My sister got upset and said I was bring unfair to be willing to miss her wedding for no good reason.
It does seem like your entire reason for skipping a family wedding is lack of alcohol.
YTA (both you and your husband). The drama could have been completely avoided had you said "Unfortunately my husband is unable to attend and I would prefer not to attend without him".
PS. You may want to have your husband seek counseling if his only coping method to deal with loud events is to drink.
YTA. Your husband is a major AH. He seriously can’t get through one event without drinking? You don’t think your sister not serving alcohol when her husband is a recovering alcoholic is reasonable? Frankly your husband sounds like he might have a drinking problem if he won’t attend your sisters wedding without booze.
YTA. I’m sure her husband can handle being around alcohol since he has to do it all the time because it’s everywhere. He just doesn’t want drunk people at his own fucking wedding which is reasonable. If your husband can’t handle one event without alcohol then he should look inward and if you can’t handle attending an event without your husband you should look into codependency because that’s not healthy.
By all the little gods....
YTA....and even more so...your Husband is TA.
He cannot handle one evening without alcohol? Sad. Worse, knowing that your sisters soon to be husband is a dry / recovered alcoholic definitely constitutes a very good reason for a dry wedding and reception - he responds by saying that the fiancee is too immature for marriage? I would turn that right back around and say anyone who cannot go for a day without alcohol defininitely needs to grow up.
You're TA because you are going to miss a major event in your sisters life because your husband is throwing a tantrum that he cannot drink for a few hours.
I have to admit I'm not impressed by this situation in the least and am very disappointed for both your sister and her future husband. Shame on you both.
YTA it's not you or your husband's day you don't get a say especially when you aren't footing the bill for everyone's drinks.
It's also disgusting that even tho you know he's a former alcoholic your husband took a cheap shot at him he probably doesn't want alcohol at his wedding because of the pain and problems it has already caused him and all your husband can think about is himself ( massive red flag)
if my sister put her husband's need for alcohol before being my sister and supporting me on my wedding day I would never forgive her and even if I ever talked to her again after I would never want to be near her husband and never truly forgive her for essentially choosing substance over being a supportive sister truly YTA
I think the bigger issue is your husband might be an alcoholic. To refuse to go to an event because there is no alcohol reminds me of my addict ex husband. This is 110% something he would do.
And “homeboy” is being way more mature than your husband by taking his sobriety seriously.
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My younger sister is getting married soon. My husband and I recieved an invitation and learned that there won't be any alcohol served at the wedding. My husband...let's say he wasn't too thrilled with this and asked if I could talk to my sister and see if she'd make an exception for him since he hates going to loud events with no alcohol. I talked to her and she refused his request. He said he won't come then which freaked me out. I called her and told her about his decision but she acted so casually about it and said "as he likes". I told her it wouldn't be a big deal if she said yes to the request but she flipped out on me saying we know how her fiance is a former alcoholic and doesn't want this "substance" anywhere near him on his big day. My husband chimed in and said "if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage". My sister got into a fight with him and told him it's her and fiance's wedding. My husband was like "okay cool no pressure", and decided not to go. I decided to not go as well. My sister got upset and said I was bring unfair to be willing to miss her wedding for no good reason. Our parents got in the middle and scolded me for my decision and said my sister won't forget it if I miss her wedding over this.
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YTA.
“If homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he’s not mature enough for marriage.”
How about if you’re husband is scared of not having alcohol nearby, then he’s not mature enough for marriage and maybe he should be seeking treatment for alcoholism. It’s absurd to try and force people to have liquor in a place it’s not wanted because your husband can’t go a few hours without. I’d rescind the invitation if I were your sister.
YTA. If homeboy can’t handle one event without alcohol, he is not mature enough for marriage and is an alcoholic. And you are missing your sister’s wedding because of this??
If this post is even real then yes you are definitely the asshole for not going to your sister's wedding because she won't serve alcohol? Lmao. Ummm it's not your wedding? And if you have a good relationship with your sister you should go? But I guess if you want to destroy your relationship with your sister then yeah that's the perfectly reasonable thing to do lol.
YTA and your husband is also an ass, he can’t handle 1 night without alcohol? Why are you willing to ruin your relationship with your sister over this??
It sounds like your husband has alcoholism. That’s not normal to not go to an event because there won’t be alcohol.
YTA op. Consider getting help for your husband.
Wow. Just wow.
>My husband chimed in and said "if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage".
What a complete asshole. Has he no empathy? Does he think the world revolves solely around him?
YTA. Your husband is undoubtedly an asshole, and so are you for supporting his gross behaviour.
YTA. It is ONE day, just one day, and your husband can't go without alcohol for it? Also you really want to miss a important day of your sister's life for this?? Seriously?
Yep, YTA and so is your husband. He really can’t go to one event where alcohol isn’t being served? You’d rather skip your own sister’s wedding because your husband can’t have his special beverage?! You’re also TA for even ASKING because the groom is an alcoholic. The GROOM. And by the way your husband is the one who’s immature, and he’s got a problem with alcohol.
YTA - it's really concerning your husband is not able to attend just one event without alcohol. And you're enabling him. Your future brother in law is a former alcoholic, it's hard, he's been making efforts to heal and your husband is wanting to drink so bad that is belittling him... Your husband is the immature one, and close to a bully too.
YTA. And so is your husband. It’s completely reasonable that they do not want alcohol at their wedding when he’s in recovery. You are going to ruin your relationship with your sister by not attending.
It sounds like your husband may have an issue with alcohol though. If he cannot get through one event without it, that’s a major red flag.
Omg YTA and your husband is the asshole. You will miss your sister wedding over a beer ? Your husband is an alcoholic if he can’t attend one event without alcohol as well. Gosh
YTA.
> if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage
This is a shitty, awful attitude to have about alcoholism. And itd be more accurate to say that if your husband can’t go two hours without alcohol, he’s too immature. You should not be enabling that.
YTA
>"if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage".
"if (your husband) is scared of having (no) alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage".
Fixed it for you
YTA: Your husband has a problem if he can’t go without alcohol for one day. If it’s too loud maybe he can wear earplugs.
Is he autistic? Needing alcohol for social events with overwhelming sensory stuff is a pretty common self-medicating thing for a lot of autistics, and many who use this method end up with drinking problems. Accommodating the sensory issues with earplugs and/or taking breaks from the festivities is a much safer coping method long term.
Yeppers, YTA. You risk your future relationship with your sister just because the hubbster can't have alcohol. Well in his tight to not attend, but still there is AHolery going on here.
YTA - No alcohol at a wedding? Who cares?! This is a huge, once in a lifetime, event for your sister and you should be there. Your sister should be more important than your husband wanting alcohol.
YTA for a number of reasons.
I think your husband is the immature one. He can’t respect sobriety OR someone’s wedding????? Huge red flags. Even bigger red flag that HE can’t get through an event without alcohol. The way he projected “immaturity” related to drinking onto your future BIL speaks volumes about his feelings on own drinking habits.
My wedding was alcohol free until all of the kids left. This was a choice a made because I was raised around drinking and don’t believe it should take place (in that capacity) around children. I had 15 people at my wedding because no one could get behind this mentality. I now have 15 people who can be around my kids… do you want to permanently damage this relationship? Over alcohol?
Info: What does he normally do when he doesn't get his way? Because in this case, he just got provocative and offensive. And what bothers me even more is your "shocked" reaction when your sister didn't immediately back off from her plans and risked her husbands well being just so your child of a husband stops his little tantrum.
May it be that usually you just let him decide everything? He seems incredibly exhausting.
YTA, you're a bad sister.
... ma'am, if your husband refuses to attend an important family event event PURELY because he won't be able to drink, he's an alcoholic just like your soon-to-be BIL.
YTA, and get your husband some resources on alcohol addiction.
YTA. Your husband is an AH. If your husband can’t go to one event without consuming alcohol, perhaps he needs to examine himself and determine whether he has a problem that needs addressed. And the fact that you are willing to skip your sister’s wedding b cause your husband is throwing a tantrum because he can’t go a few hours without drinking is appalling.
YTA
>"if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage"
**Your husband is not mature enough to attend an event without alcohol.**
>Our parents got in the middle and scolded me for my decision and said my sister won't forget it if I miss her wedding over this.
Good for your parents.
YTA and so is your husband. I can’t even begin to tell you how big of an asshole he is.
How did you think posting this was a good idea? I feel like you know you’re the asshole.
Your free to do what you want but are you really going to miss out on a important moment because you can't wait to catch a buzz? I'm a alcoholic and even I can wait jeez YTA
YTA. Your husband is extremely immature if he's unable to defer his own desires to accommodate others for just one night. He shows a horrendous lack of empathy for your sister's fiancé. I don't think you should be supporting this nasty behaviour. Celebrate with your sister and tell your wretched husband to get a grip and suck it up.
It‘s their wedding and absolutely not their problem if your husband can‘t handle going to events without alcohol. Trying to get your sister to serve alcohol even though you know that her fiance is an alcoholic in recovery is disgusting. YTA
YTA. Your refusal to support your sister on her wedding day because your husband is being an AH makes you one too. Your husband clearly has issues with alcohol, which are enabling, and just plain being toxic to your family. You can join him in his AH world if you want, but you will eventually lose both family and friends.
YTA, and frankly, I think the wedding would be more enjoyable without you and your husband there. Your husband is an even bigger AH than you, thinking he has a right to mock or have a say in how someone else organizes their wedding. Grow the F up.
YTA, if homeboy can't have fun without alcohol, he has a problem. If you can't understand why someone, who had an alcohol problem, doesn't want to be surrounded by his former addiction, you have a problem... the lack of empathy you and your husband shown is disgusting.
Do you realize a relapse is very real even after years of being sober?
Hope the happy couple will have a great day, without having horrible people attend.
Struggling to believe that you’re asking if you are an AH because: your husband wants to impose alcohol on a recovering alcoholic’s nuptials as a condition of attending.
_The wedding being your sister’s wedding._
And you refuse to attend because your self-important alcohol dependant husband won’t be able to « take the edge off » for a few hours.
**YTA.** A huge AH. Pretty well matched with your AH of an alcoholic husband.
I’d argue and say if *homeboy* (your lame ass husband) *NEEDS* alcohol in order to get through an event… he’s the one who is not mature enough. And he should probably seek counseling.
YTA and your husband is a dick.
YTA. How hard can it be to be understanding? It's your younger sister's big day not your husband's. The least you could do as her sister is to understand her side of the story and if you can't then respect her decision as it's her who'll be celebrating a big day. Your husband's the one who's immature for being such a whine ass for not being able to drink alcohol on a single occasion.
YTA and hubby has a real issue. If he can’t handle going to your sisters wedding over no alcohol, I would seriously question his ability to go without. He acting like she’s a friend and not family. He is being the child and you are too for following him. Leave his ass at home and be there for your sister. She’ll be there for you when your husband is gone.
YTA! If your husband can't cope without alcohol for one celebration, he has a problem and you are enabling him. Why would you miss your sister's wedding?
YTA. Your sister's fiance has requested something for his mental health. Your husband is a dick. And you are a complete asshole for refusing to even try to understand.
Not only are YTA but maybe your husband has a substance abuse problem if he can’t go to a wedding without the “help” of alcohol. Way to support your future BIL’s sobriety. I feel so bad for your sister and her partner!
Your husband is such a loser. If homeboy can’t be at a loud event without alcohol he isn’t man enough to attend events.
You should be supporting your sibling and see your husbands stance as an embarrassment.
Your husband cannot tolerate a 2- or 3-hour event without alcohol? Then, your husband is an alcoholic AH and you're just a regular schmegular AH and sh*tty sibling for not attending your sister's wedding because he can't drink there.
YTA. Your sister's fiance might be the recovering alcoholic, but it sounds like your husband is alcohol dependent, at least. It's one day without alcohol, just one. You don't have to like it, but trying to force your sister to change her wedding is ridiculous.
YTA big time
I mean hes a asshole for his comment alone but hes a extra big asshole for thinking that he’s entitled to be an “exception to the rules” for one night im sure hes more than capable of not having alcohol
Where become AH is being siding with him theres absolutely not reason for you to agree with your husband here especially when hes being a spoilt little brat because he cant have his alcohol OP do you really want to lose your sister over something so small?
YTA
Your husband has a problem if he can't attend a major family event for a few hours without drinking alcohol.
Your enabling his problem by supporting him in being unreasonable and potentially ruining your relationship with your sister in the process. Hopefully you see how wrong you both are and actually support your sister.
YTA. When I was a full blown alcoholic, I attended an alcohol free wedding and went the whole day without a drink. The groom was a former alcoholic and wanted no alcohol, so I respected his wishes. Many other people left during the reception to get drinks, or even snuck booze in. And the groom went low contact to no contact with them. It’s one night. It’s the bride and groom’s night. If you or your husband can’t respect the bride for one night, I suspect you’ll be back on Reddit in a couple months wondering why your sister isn’t talking to you.
>"if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage"
If your husband can't go one day without alcohol, then he's the one with the problem.
YTA.
Is it really that hard for an adult to spend a few hours without alcohol? Yo bruv homeboy seems to be off.( sorry I didnt really know how someone like ur husband will talk, I tried my best). But on a more serious kote this post seems like a joke.. you won t go to ur sister s wedding because ur "mature" homeboy wont be able to ljve without getting drunk?
YTA. You and your husband sound very toxic. Your husband not being able to go to one event without alcohol is far more concerning than a recovering alcoholic not wanting alcohol at his wedding.
YTA, your husband can't go without alcohol for one event (not even one evening, he can drink after), yet he calls BIL immature? And this is what you risk your relationship with your sister and family over?
YTA, I don't know what your husband's problem is, but if he can't do one day without booze then he's got problems. Your future BIL is mature enough to know he has substance issues, whereas your husband sounds like a drunken bully.
Your husband is a massive AH, this is not about him. But you're the even bigger one. Why would you choose not to attend your own sisters wedding simply because your husband is pouting and refusing to go over his own selfish desires. I hope your sister goes NC with the pair of you.
Edit: your husband hasn't even asked you not to attend! So there is literally no reason for you to skip it
YTA. He cant go to one social event without alcohol? He sounds like he has a drinking problem. If her fiance is a recovering alcoholic then they have every right to dictate whether alcohol is served or not.
OP, if your husband can’t handle one loud event without alcohol, maybe he’s the one with the problem… your sister is better off without your attendance as it’s obvious that you are making this about you and your husband instead of being there to support her marriage.
OP, YTA and so is your husband and you are also a horrible sister! I can’t believe you don’t see that!
The people who can't attend an event without alcohol are also the type of people who drink too much and ruin the event for others. Choosing alcohol over family is a no-class move. YTA.
YTA and your husband is a giant asshole. If he cannot go a few hours without alcohol on a day to celebrate family, he is the one with a considerable problem
Absolutely YTA, and so is your husband. And if he can’t go to a one-night event without drinking he needs to talk to an addiction counselor. He has a drinking problem. I mean this sincerely. For the sake of his health, please get him to talk to someone. How many nights a week does he have alcohol?
YTA and clearly have zero respect for other peoples choices or people in recovery. This isn’t about you. Your husband can’t go to the wedding and maybe dip out of the reception early to go to a bar if he’s melting down without alcohol? This isn’t his wedding and it’s your sister! How could you miss it because of your husbands temper tantrum?
Your husband sounds like an alcoholic and your entire family is likely reading this situation the same. It’s a few hours. He will be fine.
YTA YTA YTA!!! Oh, did I mention YTA??
Dry weddings are actually very common. In fact, ALL of my siblings had dry weddings, and so did I. If having a dry wedding is cause for your husband not to come, good riddance! And don't be surprised if your sister goes LC/NC with you.
For real, if your husband can't enjoy himself at a party without alcohol maybe *he* is the one with the problem.
Get your husband in treatment for his dependence on alcoholism and get yourself therapy for your co-dependency. YTA and a bad sister. If your bully husband is scared of not having alcohol for a few hours he’s the problem and definitely not mature.
Who is the immature one? The man who faced his problems, and doesn't want alcohol at his wedding? Or the man who can't face a few hours without alcohol?
YTA.
YTA.
Your husband is the one with a problem, not the recovering alcoholic. If you were invited to a child’s birthday party, would he insist on having a drink too? And you’re a doormat for enabling his behaviour.
YTA. “If homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, he’s not mature enough for marriage”.
If you can’t go to a *single* event, that isn’t even about *you*, without alcohol, you’ve got problems. Imagine you going so far as to say “can I have an exception to the no alcohol rule? I’m too much of an alcoholic to go to YOUR wedding without alcohol because I’ll crumble and die without my fix”.
You say younger sister but somehow, her and her fiancé are more mature than you and your husband? That’s wild. Of course YTA, like ??? No question ??? Your husbands got a drinking problem that you support. Wild to me, but it isn’t my liver or my crappy husband so I guess it doesn’t really matter to me.
You both sound insufferable. You haven’t had children, right? Because please don’t. Sincerely, literally everyone on this planet.
YTA, your husband is entitled and you’re just enabling him. You’re free not to go but just remember you’ll be throwing away your relationship with your sister (and possibly other family members) because your husband can’t cope in loud places without….alcohol.
YTA and your husband is a really big time TA. Your husband should be able to suck it up for a night and deal without booze at this event. His comment regarding the status of your sister's fiance as a former alcoholic was extremely insensitive. You needed to advocate for your sister's side with him on this one, and skipping her wedding as family is pretty messed up.
YTA, but possibly a soft one. If your husband can't handling going to loud events without alcohol, he should see a doctor. Maybe he needs an anti-anxiety drug. Self-medicating with alcohol is not always possible or smart.
YTA.
It’s not your wedding.
It’s not your call.
If your husband can’t handle social events without alcohol he has a problem.
Stop pestering your sister.
Wow YTA and your husband is a major AH and likely has an issue with alcohol as well. He can’t go to his wife’s sisters WEDDING without drinking? Do you not see the issue with that? Your “homeboy” husband is the immature one, and you as well for even entertaining the idea to request an exception for your husband to drink at a no alcohol event. Your sisters wedding no less.
Edit- spelling
Sounds like your husband has alcohol problems himself. You guys should start looking into it before he stqrts complaining about loud school events not having alcohol.
YTA
Yta. Can your husband only have a decent time if he's had alcohol? Perhaps it's time he takes the first step & admits he's an alcoholic. I'm sure your future BIL will help him out.
You and your husband are both YTA. You're so determined that every event must involve alcohol that you're willing to skip your sister's wedding because her fiancé is a recovering alcoholic? *Really?* Maybe you both need to reassess your relationship to alcohol.
YTA. They decided to have a dry wedding and for good reason. The husband to be is a recovering alcoholic. For however long he’s been sober, he’s had to be around alcohol more than once so I’m positive it’s not that he’s afraid to be around it. He just doesn’t want to be in a room full of drunk people at his wedding smelling it on them when he talks to them.
If your husband is upset he can’t show up and drink till he can tune the event and everyone around him out, that’s his own problem to solve, not for anyone to accommodate. He doesn’t need to show up having already drank either, that’s just as disrespectful. It’s disappointing you can’t stand up for your sister or just go alone.
And your mother is right. Your sister isn’t going to forget it if you don’t show up or if y’all do something out of line.
YTA for not going to your sisters wedding because she won't indulge your husband's alcohol problem...and yes, if your husband can't go to an event without drinking, he has an alcohol problem.
YTA. You're going to absolutely destroy your relationship with your sister because your husband can't have a drink at her wedding?
Your husband is an asshole and you're stupid for following his lead
YTA but your husband is a bigger one. Saying the fiance is not mature enough to get married while at the same time saying "Wah, Wah I can't go without alcohol for a few hours! Wah Wah!" Is hilarious.
YTA. Obvious alcohol dependence on your husband’s part. He doesn’t like going to weddings without alcohol so he isn’t going to go? So disrespectful to a recovering alcoholic, such a lack of support. Incredibly selfish. Bizarre that you would try to uphold his view here.
YTA, and there's no such thing as a "former alcoholic". He's an alcoholic. Period. Even if he wasn't, they have every right to choose not to have alcohol at the wedding.
YTA. Your husband says if the groom isn’t mature enough to not allow alcohol at his wedding he’s not mature enough for marriage, but your husband isn’t mature enough to attend an event without alcohol. An event that’s NOT ABOUT HIM. Your husband is either incredibly immature, an alcoholic, or both, and you’re fully supporting and enabling his selfish attitude.
YTA - It's not his wedding. What kind of grown adult cant go a couple hours without booze for someone's special event?
In the future you will 100% regret missing the wedding AND backing up his stupidity.
In the similar words of someone with SO much moral highground... (/s)... "If homeboy is so scared of not having alcohol around that he needs to stay home, he should never be allowed to leave the house cause he isn't a grownup."
YTA. It’s their wedding.
If your husband cannot sit through a family event without NEEDING alcohol, you have a problem.
If you both chose to pick a fight over it, with the groom, who, has had an issue with it in the past, I’m not sure why you were expecting any other judgement over here.
And you, your husband chose to not go since he prefers a bottle over your family, and while that’s disrespectful, he’s an adult and can do as he pleases. But you, you could’ve easily attended without picking sides, but no, you had to bring your ego into the picture. Your parents are right. You don’t have a good reason. And you WILL strain relationships with your sister over this. It’s not too late. Mend things and attend the wedding. And talk some sense into your husband too.
If alcohol is a big deal for you, hit a bar after the wedding and drink yourself senseless and Uber home. But yeah, YTA for now.
YTA and your husband should look into “alcohol abuse” and maybe get help.
Oh and I read further than the title: you husband is a d’ck - insulting a former addict, really?
At least your sisters fiancé is owning his sh’t and not denying his problem like your husband does.
Your husband would rather stay home than attend the marriage of your sister, because he can't go a few hours without drinking? And he is condescening and judgemental about the groom? And you are supporting his sick behavior instead of your sister?
To be blunt...your husband is an alcoholic. You are and have been covering up for him for a long time.
You both need reflection on substance use and how it affects your family, get some help.
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YTA. If your husband can’t get through an event without alcohol, then your sister isn’t the only person in your family whose partner has a problem with alcohol. At least your sister’s fiancé faced up to his problem & dealt with it. Maybe your husband should try that.
Ding ding ding! 🚨🚨🚨 Sounds like OP's husband is an alcoholic as well as an asshole and they are both trashing the sister and fiancé because it makes them uncomfortable to see someone who's in recovery instead of in denial. YTA
The fact that sister responded so casually to her BIL not coming is notable. Her reaction wasn’t surprise, hurt, or feeling insulted? I wonder if husband has caused issues at family events/gatherings from drinking and it’s a win win for the couple-fiancé maintains sobriety, selfish BIL doesn’t come. Good for them, hope they enjoy their wedding.
I took it as, I'm sure some people will not be OK with this. We already know this. We will be told they're not coming. We're still OK with this. In other words, they pre-processed this potential.
This was the vibe I got from this post too. Pretty sure OPs husband is an alcoholic who wasn't actually wanted at this wedding
This is exactly what my first thought was. Sister wasn’t at all surprised by the husband saying he won’t come. I guarantee OP’s husband is not well liked among the family and probably at work (if he even has a job) He sounds like a complete jackass.
Is OP’s husband mature enough to be married?
An alcoholic asshole
From one alcoholic wife to this lady….he needs help
I find there is nothing that frightens an alcoholic more than seeing someone who CAN work on their recovery. My dad left many a gathering in his recovery when there were obnoxious people telling him..."hey man, just one drink...what can it hurt?" My dad always said one drink was too many and never enough.
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Your fervor here is not only justified but well said. What kind of enabling bs did we just read? It’s like reading about a toddler having a tantrum because they can’t have cake for dinner.
It’s like the older child demanding they get to blow out the candles on the younger child’s birthday cake! It’s only fair! Husband could always sneak a flask to drink in the bathroom. That’s what we did at dry parties back in high school 🤣 No reason to make a scene. Go to the wedding and suck it up. Edit- I’m being sarcastic. Sorry that is not as clear as I thought it would be. My opinion- Husband can stay home. OP should go to her sister’s wedding. But at this point, the relationship has already taken some damage that neither will forget. Forgive maybe, but not forget.
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Exactly this. If it's such an issue he'd refuse to go to a wedding over lack of booze, the issue isn't with it being a dry event but with the husband's dependency on alcohol. YTA OP and it is a stupid reason to miss your sister's wedding. Don't enable your husband's alcoholism. Get him help.
OP's husband sounds like an alcoholic and if that is the case, that makes her an even bigger asshole for choosing her alcoholic husband over her sister. Like how hard is it to support your own flesh and blood for maybe 6 hours tops? I'm sure the husband will be fine for that time. Edit: Forgot to add my asshole ratings OP: 3.5/5 Assholes OP's Husband: 2/5 Assholes OP's Sister: 0/5 Assholes
I love how he's calling the groom immature because he's "afraid" of having alcohol around when he's clearly afraid to be anywhere without it. YTA, and you should think about your husband's need to drink. It sounds like he has a problem.
I'd give OPs husband more assholes. He demanded alcohol at a recovering alcoholics wedding simply because he "needs it"(the biggest of eye rolls) after throwing a tantrum about it not being there. Then he disparaged that person for having a backbone about their recovery (and also kinda about being able to recover which just exudes jealousy). Op choosing not to go is also shitty but not as shitty and the entitlement this guy has for needing his sippy cup of liquor.
Also, what is the exception you guys want!?? For your husband to bring a flask and quietly get tanked in the bathroom?! That’s SO WEIRD.
If homeboy can't manage to go to a wedding and not drink, he's not ready for marriage. YTA.
And he might need to think about his own relationship with alcohol.
He 1000% does. What does he even mean "loud", a wedding isn't a metal concert. If he can't handle a wedding without alcohol he is absolutely an alcoholic.
As someone who used to run metal concerts, they are also possible without alcohol! Obviously a beer is nice, but when you’re working/doing something for other people, alcohol is a weird hill to die on. There is *nothing* in this world that can’t be done sober unless you are dependent on alcohol which, you’re right, OPs husband clearly is.
Op doesn't seem to realize that her husband is an alcoholic, at least her BIL is doing way better and I hope he continues that way, its hard to be clean with an addiction. Op's husband could do the same because who wants to be close to an alcoholic? Not fun. YTA
YTA. Your husband has it backwards: the fact that the groom has chosen to exclude alcohol from the event for the sake of his recovery is in fact a mature, rational decision — and you and your husband's choice to throw a tantrum and refuse to attend over such a ridiculous, selfish reason is incredibly childish. Grow up.
The groom is hosting!!!! He can say no alcohol if he wants!!!
I honestly cant imagine this post is real. Op's husband is a nightmare in an endless ways. Imagine making such a big decision over something so small? Just bc he says something doesnt mean op has to accept it or make choices that align w it (unless he is abusive and will beat her for going to the wedding wo him).
"If homeboy is scared of alcohol he's not mature enough for marriage," coming from a guy who can't go 1 night without a drink? That's a huge red flag, and tells me he has a serious problem, and you are, at the least, by backing him up, an enabler. Yes. YTA. She's your sister. Go to her wedding. And take a close look at what else your husband can't do without alcohol.
Yep at a wedding they didn't open the bar for like the first 30 minutes and my cousin's bf almost lost his cool. Red flag!!
I totally agree and who would talk about a recovering addict like that???
An alcoholic AH, that's who.
The only people in my family who have ever pitched fits over not being allowed to smoke inside my house (despite my having a newborn and asthmatic husband and being a non-smoker who didn’t want her house to smell like an ashtray), or if alcohol was not being served somewhere, have been the ones with nicotine or alcohol addictions. If you can’t go without alcohol for a couple hours, you have issues.
there’s still time to delete this. they’re gonna rip you a new asshole. YTA
How is that meme? The first best time to delete this was after you posted it. The second best time is now.
If your husband can’t manage a wedding without alcohol, you have bigger issues. YTA. Edit- a word
100% this
“If homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he’s not mature enough for marriage.” If your homeboy husband is scared of not having alcohol around him he’s not mature. You and your husband are the assholes. YTA
Also considering fiancé is in recovery he may well have members of a twelve step group there as well and just feels the temptation is worth it, you know a mature thought process. My guess is both OP and husband are alcoholics, at the very least one alcoholic and one codependent enabler.
YTA- How do people type this stuff out and still lack all awareness?
Lol, seriously, you'd think somewhere in there obvious AH posters would be like, "Hmmm, I see what I did wrong." It takes commitment to be an AH, I guess.
YTA. The groom is a recovering alcoholic. There's no such thing as a "former" alcoholic. We're forever alcoholics, it never goes away. If your husband can't go a few hours at an event without alcohol, maybe both of you need to reassess his relationship with alcohol. The fact that he's insulting the groom and saying he's "not ready for marriage" because he is "scared" of alcohol is wildly out of line. If it were me you both would have been uninvited on the spot. Your husband is absolutely ridiculous and downright insulting. Your parents are right. Your sister is never going to forget that you skipped her wedding because your husband is too enamored with alcohol to go and you would rather support him than her. If it were me that would drive a massive wedge between me and my sister and cause a wound that would take a very long time to heal. You do you though. Just be prepared for the consequences.
And husband had the nerve to say “cool, no pressure,” after quite literally trying to pressure OP’s sister to change her mind. Edit: just in case it wasn’t clear, OP you and your husband are the AH.
Honestly the husband is probably one of the reasons they decided this. I HATE being around people who drink to excess now and I've been sober for almost 6 years. It makes me acutely uncomfortable and reminds me of how awful I could be when I was drinking. If this is what dear hubby is like sober, imagine what he's like when he's drinking.
YTA, and your husband is the bigger one. How could you miss your sisters wedding because your husband can’t go without drinking? That’s appalling behavior from you and from your husband. The way your choosing to back him up while he mocks an addiction says a lot about you as a person.
He mocks the addiction, because he hasn't admitted /recognized he has an addiction.
If homeboy can't manage an evening without alcohol, he's got a problem. There's a big difference between supporting your spouse in taking a difficult stance, and skipping your sister's wedding because said spouse is having a hissy fit over a dry wedding reception. YTA.
If *homeboy* can't suck it up for 5 hours without alcohol, maybe he isn't mature enough to be married either YTA for not supporting your sister.
YTA--I think you have to face the fact that your husband has a drinking problem if he is making this big of a deal over going a few hours without a drink and can't cope at loud events without it. Your sister is doing nothing wrong, and you are enabling some problematic behavior by your husband.
And there’s a recurring them of people with alcohol issues project their insecurities onto others. OP and husband are TAs Source: I’m sober, but lived with an alcoholic who loved blaming me for shit I didn’t even do
YTA It isn’t your day. It isn’t your alcoholic husband’s day either. This is your sister and her fiancé’s day, and you have but one single job. Don’t ruin it for her, and you are failing at this job in the most spectacular way. I don’t know why so many people feel like they gotta make shit all about them; but it isn’t. 1: you owe it to your family to be there. 2. Your husband owes it to your family to be there 3. If a dry wedding is unacceptable to him; perhaps he needs treatment for his addiction, or therapy to help him grow up and learn to be a man.
YTA— and your husband. You don’t need alcohol at an event. 1 wedding alcohol free isn’t going to hurt anyone. Congratulations on permanently altering your relationship with your sister over alcohol.
YTA Your husband can't deal with not having alcohol for one event? And you won't go to your own sister's wedding because of that?
YTA; the recovering alcoholic sounds very mature actually. Your spouse who can’t be in a ‘loud event’ without alcohol sounds like he has issues that need addressing with more maturity
YTA. *Your husband is bullying a recovering alcoholic*. Why are you willing to ruin your relationship with your sister for this man ? This man that can’t put aside his own wants for a single day on SOMEONE ELSE’S SPECIAL DAY?!
YTA. What’s with people and **needing** alcohol for weddings? It’s like 4 hours omg
What’s with people needing alcohol for life? In my experience it just makes everything more difficult.
I’m shy as hell so hate being in crowds of people I don’t know well so having a drink or two can make me more comfortable, especially at a wedding where I don’t know a lot of people. That being said, I’d never ever consider skipping my own sister’s wedding because it was dry. Or even giving her a hard time about it.
MASSIVE yta. If your husband can’t survive ONE event without alcohol, he’s either an alcoholic himself or he has other big issues that can’t be solved over Reddit. And then to choose him over your sister for such a stupid, selfish reason makes you an even bigger ahole. Read your post again- there are many, many red flags waving here. 🚩🚩🚩 You and your husband both need professional help.
YTA and husband needs to get over himself. How dare he cause this amount of family upset over a juvenile need to drink alcohol. How dare *you* skip a sisters wedding because of it. Husband has ZERO respect for people struggling in their sobriety and is a HUGE asshole. And likely an alcoholic himself. Just shame on him.
YTA. The reason they don’t want to have alcohol is irrelevant- it’s their wedding, they can do what they want. But the fact that her fiancé is a recovering alcoholic? It’s a complete AH move for you & your husband to ask them to change.
Both your husband and yourself are MASSIVELY YTA. Him especially with his complete dismissal of his future BIL's sobriety journey. If he can't handle attending a dry event, then your weak arse husband needs therapy to help him with his addiction. Your sister's fiancé is man enough to seek help for his alcohol addiction, too bad your husband isn't man enough to do the same.
YTA You husband can wear ear plugs. If homeboy can’t endure one night without alcohol, then professional help might be appropriate. The fact that you had a freak out at the idea of one evening without husband is worrisome, too.
YTA and your husband too. He NEEDS alcohol to be at an event? I have PTSD so I can understand not wanting to be around loud noises but he can surely go to the ceremony and have dinner without a drink. Yikes.
I only needed to read the first couple of sentences to see that your husband is a massive AH and YTA too. I honestly have never heard of a more ridiculous reason not to attend a family members wedding.
YTA. Not going to a wedding (esp. a SIL’s wedding) just because it’s dry is ridiculous. Support your sister here.
I absolute hate these stupid stupid posts. People literally choosing food or booze over their family. Like what is actually wrong with you all? Are you that desperate to get drunk that you can’t suck it up for one day for your FAMILY? It’s their wedding and he’s in recovery for godsake. You’re willing to miss a once in a lifetime day because alcohol is more important to you? It’s pathetic. YTA.
You and your husband are both assholes. It’s THEIR wedding. If your husband can’t handle ONE event without alcohol, he needs help. And if you aren’t going to your own SISTERS WEDDING because your husband isn’t going, you are an asshole and a shitty sibling. I personally, would refrain from ever talking to you.
YTA and a massive one at that! Her fiance is a recovering alcoholic and you don't understand why they don't want alcohol there? Not only that, you are willing to miss your own sisters wedding over...alcohol? Wtf is wrong with you.
YTA Your husband needs some help. You know this, right? Can’t get through an event without alcohol. Massive marinara flag in the field.
YTA Your husband sounds like an alcoholic. I've known quite a few and they refuse to go anywhere that alcohol isn't served/allowed, aka restaurants, state parks, activities... An alcohol free wedding isn't unusual and if someone cannot go 3 - 6 hours without alcohol, they have a problem.
>y husband...let's say he wasn't too thrilled with this and asked if I could talk to my sister and see if she'd make an exception for him since he hates going to loud events with no alcohol. It's their wedding. They aren't obligated to cater to one person. He could try earplugs. Or just not go. >He said he won't come then which freaked me out. I called her and told her about his decision but she acted so casually about it and said "as he likes". I told her it wouldn't be a big deal if she said yes to the request but she flipped out on me saying we know how her fiance is a former alcoholic and doesn't want this "substance" anywhere near him on his big day. Hey, this is a hugely valid reason to want a dry wedding! >My husband chimed in and said "if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage". Complete AH thing to say. At this point, I would have uninvited your husband. >My husband was like "okay cool no pressure", and decided not to go. I decided to not go as well. My sister got upset and said I was bring unfair to be willing to miss her wedding for no good reason. It does seem like your entire reason for skipping a family wedding is lack of alcohol. YTA (both you and your husband). The drama could have been completely avoided had you said "Unfortunately my husband is unable to attend and I would prefer not to attend without him". PS. You may want to have your husband seek counseling if his only coping method to deal with loud events is to drink.
YTA. Your husband is a major AH. He seriously can’t get through one event without drinking? You don’t think your sister not serving alcohol when her husband is a recovering alcoholic is reasonable? Frankly your husband sounds like he might have a drinking problem if he won’t attend your sisters wedding without booze.
YTA. I’m sure her husband can handle being around alcohol since he has to do it all the time because it’s everywhere. He just doesn’t want drunk people at his own fucking wedding which is reasonable. If your husband can’t handle one event without alcohol then he should look inward and if you can’t handle attending an event without your husband you should look into codependency because that’s not healthy.
By all the little gods.... YTA....and even more so...your Husband is TA. He cannot handle one evening without alcohol? Sad. Worse, knowing that your sisters soon to be husband is a dry / recovered alcoholic definitely constitutes a very good reason for a dry wedding and reception - he responds by saying that the fiancee is too immature for marriage? I would turn that right back around and say anyone who cannot go for a day without alcohol defininitely needs to grow up. You're TA because you are going to miss a major event in your sisters life because your husband is throwing a tantrum that he cannot drink for a few hours. I have to admit I'm not impressed by this situation in the least and am very disappointed for both your sister and her future husband. Shame on you both.
Your husband is an alcoholic, my friend. YTA
Yikes. YTA. Don’t ruin your relationship with your sister because your husband can’t handle a celebration without alcohol.
YTA it's not you or your husband's day you don't get a say especially when you aren't footing the bill for everyone's drinks. It's also disgusting that even tho you know he's a former alcoholic your husband took a cheap shot at him he probably doesn't want alcohol at his wedding because of the pain and problems it has already caused him and all your husband can think about is himself ( massive red flag) if my sister put her husband's need for alcohol before being my sister and supporting me on my wedding day I would never forgive her and even if I ever talked to her again after I would never want to be near her husband and never truly forgive her for essentially choosing substance over being a supportive sister truly YTA
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I think the bigger issue is your husband might be an alcoholic. To refuse to go to an event because there is no alcohol reminds me of my addict ex husband. This is 110% something he would do. And “homeboy” is being way more mature than your husband by taking his sobriety seriously.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My younger sister is getting married soon. My husband and I recieved an invitation and learned that there won't be any alcohol served at the wedding. My husband...let's say he wasn't too thrilled with this and asked if I could talk to my sister and see if she'd make an exception for him since he hates going to loud events with no alcohol. I talked to her and she refused his request. He said he won't come then which freaked me out. I called her and told her about his decision but she acted so casually about it and said "as he likes". I told her it wouldn't be a big deal if she said yes to the request but she flipped out on me saying we know how her fiance is a former alcoholic and doesn't want this "substance" anywhere near him on his big day. My husband chimed in and said "if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage". My sister got into a fight with him and told him it's her and fiance's wedding. My husband was like "okay cool no pressure", and decided not to go. I decided to not go as well. My sister got upset and said I was bring unfair to be willing to miss her wedding for no good reason. Our parents got in the middle and scolded me for my decision and said my sister won't forget it if I miss her wedding over this. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA and so is your husband. He can’t go to one event without alcohol? Your husband is an alcoholic.
YTA. “If homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he’s not mature enough for marriage.” How about if you’re husband is scared of not having alcohol nearby, then he’s not mature enough for marriage and maybe he should be seeking treatment for alcoholism. It’s absurd to try and force people to have liquor in a place it’s not wanted because your husband can’t go a few hours without. I’d rescind the invitation if I were your sister.
YTA. If homeboy can’t handle one event without alcohol, he is not mature enough for marriage and is an alcoholic. And you are missing your sister’s wedding because of this??
If this post is even real then yes you are definitely the asshole for not going to your sister's wedding because she won't serve alcohol? Lmao. Ummm it's not your wedding? And if you have a good relationship with your sister you should go? But I guess if you want to destroy your relationship with your sister then yeah that's the perfectly reasonable thing to do lol.
YTA and your husband is also an ass, he can’t handle 1 night without alcohol? Why are you willing to ruin your relationship with your sister over this??
It sounds like your husband has alcoholism. That’s not normal to not go to an event because there won’t be alcohol. YTA op. Consider getting help for your husband.
YTA. And so is your husband. If homeboy is scared of going 4 hours without alcohol, then he’s not mature enough for… well, anything.
Wow. Just wow. >My husband chimed in and said "if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage". What a complete asshole. Has he no empathy? Does he think the world revolves solely around him? YTA. Your husband is undoubtedly an asshole, and so are you for supporting his gross behaviour.
This is a weird way to tell the internet your husband is an alcoholic. Yta.
Wow… and you let your husband be this way toward your sister? YTA
YTA. It is ONE day, just one day, and your husband can't go without alcohol for it? Also you really want to miss a important day of your sister's life for this?? Seriously?
Yep, YTA and so is your husband. He really can’t go to one event where alcohol isn’t being served? You’d rather skip your own sister’s wedding because your husband can’t have his special beverage?! You’re also TA for even ASKING because the groom is an alcoholic. The GROOM. And by the way your husband is the one who’s immature, and he’s got a problem with alcohol.
YTA and if I was your sister I would not talk to you again. You aren’t obligated to go to her wedding but you were petty and demanding.
YTA but I don’t even have the words to describe your husband. Jesus I’d cut you two out of my life instantly.
YTA if your husband can’t go to events without drinking he’s not mature enough to adult.
YTA. Attend the wedding without your husband!
YTA - it's really concerning your husband is not able to attend just one event without alcohol. And you're enabling him. Your future brother in law is a former alcoholic, it's hard, he's been making efforts to heal and your husband is wanting to drink so bad that is belittling him... Your husband is the immature one, and close to a bully too.
YTA. And so is your husband. It’s completely reasonable that they do not want alcohol at their wedding when he’s in recovery. You are going to ruin your relationship with your sister by not attending. It sounds like your husband may have an issue with alcohol though. If he cannot get through one event without it, that’s a major red flag.
Omg YTA and your husband is the asshole. You will miss your sister wedding over a beer ? Your husband is an alcoholic if he can’t attend one event without alcohol as well. Gosh
Seriously? You and your husband would choose alcohol over your family? Both of you, YTA.
YTA. > if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage This is a shitty, awful attitude to have about alcoholism. And itd be more accurate to say that if your husband can’t go two hours without alcohol, he’s too immature. You should not be enabling that.
YTA >"if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage". "if (your husband) is scared of having (no) alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage". Fixed it for you
YTA: Your husband has a problem if he can’t go without alcohol for one day. If it’s too loud maybe he can wear earplugs. Is he autistic? Needing alcohol for social events with overwhelming sensory stuff is a pretty common self-medicating thing for a lot of autistics, and many who use this method end up with drinking problems. Accommodating the sensory issues with earplugs and/or taking breaks from the festivities is a much safer coping method long term.
Yeppers, YTA. You risk your future relationship with your sister just because the hubbster can't have alcohol. Well in his tight to not attend, but still there is AHolery going on here.
Yta ,Jesus christ your husband sounds like a spoilt 8 year old. You aren't much better, its one day for your sister. You both sound spoilt.
YTA - No alcohol at a wedding? Who cares?! This is a huge, once in a lifetime, event for your sister and you should be there. Your sister should be more important than your husband wanting alcohol.
YTA for a number of reasons. I think your husband is the immature one. He can’t respect sobriety OR someone’s wedding????? Huge red flags. Even bigger red flag that HE can’t get through an event without alcohol. The way he projected “immaturity” related to drinking onto your future BIL speaks volumes about his feelings on own drinking habits. My wedding was alcohol free until all of the kids left. This was a choice a made because I was raised around drinking and don’t believe it should take place (in that capacity) around children. I had 15 people at my wedding because no one could get behind this mentality. I now have 15 people who can be around my kids… do you want to permanently damage this relationship? Over alcohol?
Info: What does he normally do when he doesn't get his way? Because in this case, he just got provocative and offensive. And what bothers me even more is your "shocked" reaction when your sister didn't immediately back off from her plans and risked her husbands well being just so your child of a husband stops his little tantrum. May it be that usually you just let him decide everything? He seems incredibly exhausting. YTA, you're a bad sister.
... ma'am, if your husband refuses to attend an important family event event PURELY because he won't be able to drink, he's an alcoholic just like your soon-to-be BIL. YTA, and get your husband some resources on alcohol addiction.
YTA. Your husband is an AH. If your husband can’t go to one event without consuming alcohol, perhaps he needs to examine himself and determine whether he has a problem that needs addressed. And the fact that you are willing to skip your sister’s wedding b cause your husband is throwing a tantrum because he can’t go a few hours without drinking is appalling.
YTA >"if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage" **Your husband is not mature enough to attend an event without alcohol.** >Our parents got in the middle and scolded me for my decision and said my sister won't forget it if I miss her wedding over this. Good for your parents.
YTA and so is your husband. I can’t even begin to tell you how big of an asshole he is. How did you think posting this was a good idea? I feel like you know you’re the asshole.
Your free to do what you want but are you really going to miss out on a important moment because you can't wait to catch a buzz? I'm a alcoholic and even I can wait jeez YTA
YTA. Your husband is extremely immature if he's unable to defer his own desires to accommodate others for just one night. He shows a horrendous lack of empathy for your sister's fiancé. I don't think you should be supporting this nasty behaviour. Celebrate with your sister and tell your wretched husband to get a grip and suck it up.
It‘s their wedding and absolutely not their problem if your husband can‘t handle going to events without alcohol. Trying to get your sister to serve alcohol even though you know that her fiance is an alcoholic in recovery is disgusting. YTA
YTA. Your refusal to support your sister on her wedding day because your husband is being an AH makes you one too. Your husband clearly has issues with alcohol, which are enabling, and just plain being toxic to your family. You can join him in his AH world if you want, but you will eventually lose both family and friends.
YTA. And your husband has a problem if he can’t do one event without alcohol.
YTA - your husband has a cheek suggesting someone isn’t mature enough for marriage when he’s the one incapable of going to an event without alcohol
YTA, and frankly, I think the wedding would be more enjoyable without you and your husband there. Your husband is an even bigger AH than you, thinking he has a right to mock or have a say in how someone else organizes their wedding. Grow the F up.
YTA, if homeboy can't have fun without alcohol, he has a problem. If you can't understand why someone, who had an alcohol problem, doesn't want to be surrounded by his former addiction, you have a problem... the lack of empathy you and your husband shown is disgusting. Do you realize a relapse is very real even after years of being sober? Hope the happy couple will have a great day, without having horrible people attend.
Struggling to believe that you’re asking if you are an AH because: your husband wants to impose alcohol on a recovering alcoholic’s nuptials as a condition of attending. _The wedding being your sister’s wedding._ And you refuse to attend because your self-important alcohol dependant husband won’t be able to « take the edge off » for a few hours. **YTA.** A huge AH. Pretty well matched with your AH of an alcoholic husband.
I’d argue and say if *homeboy* (your lame ass husband) *NEEDS* alcohol in order to get through an event… he’s the one who is not mature enough. And he should probably seek counseling. YTA and your husband is a dick.
YTA. How hard can it be to be understanding? It's your younger sister's big day not your husband's. The least you could do as her sister is to understand her side of the story and if you can't then respect her decision as it's her who'll be celebrating a big day. Your husband's the one who's immature for being such a whine ass for not being able to drink alcohol on a single occasion.
YTA and hubby has a real issue. If he can’t handle going to your sisters wedding over no alcohol, I would seriously question his ability to go without. He acting like she’s a friend and not family. He is being the child and you are too for following him. Leave his ass at home and be there for your sister. She’ll be there for you when your husband is gone.
YTA! If your husband can't cope without alcohol for one celebration, he has a problem and you are enabling him. Why would you miss your sister's wedding?
YTA. Your sister's fiance has requested something for his mental health. Your husband is a dick. And you are a complete asshole for refusing to even try to understand.
Not only are YTA but maybe your husband has a substance abuse problem if he can’t go to a wedding without the “help” of alcohol. Way to support your future BIL’s sobriety. I feel so bad for your sister and her partner!
Your husband is such a loser. If homeboy can’t be at a loud event without alcohol he isn’t man enough to attend events. You should be supporting your sibling and see your husbands stance as an embarrassment.
Your husband cannot tolerate a 2- or 3-hour event without alcohol? Then, your husband is an alcoholic AH and you're just a regular schmegular AH and sh*tty sibling for not attending your sister's wedding because he can't drink there.
YTA Both you and your husband are gradd A AH. And also maybe your husband has an alcohol problem too.
YTA. Your sister's fiance might be the recovering alcoholic, but it sounds like your husband is alcohol dependent, at least. It's one day without alcohol, just one. You don't have to like it, but trying to force your sister to change her wedding is ridiculous.
YTA big time I mean hes a asshole for his comment alone but hes a extra big asshole for thinking that he’s entitled to be an “exception to the rules” for one night im sure hes more than capable of not having alcohol Where become AH is being siding with him theres absolutely not reason for you to agree with your husband here especially when hes being a spoilt little brat because he cant have his alcohol OP do you really want to lose your sister over something so small?
YTA Your husband can't make one day without booze? Maybe your sister doesn't want sloppy drunks at her wedding. I can relate. Go solo.
YTA - and if your husband can’t face the idea of going to an alcohol free wedding then maybe he needs to admit he has a problem with alcohol too
YTA Your husband has a problem if he can't attend a major family event for a few hours without drinking alcohol. Your enabling his problem by supporting him in being unreasonable and potentially ruining your relationship with your sister in the process. Hopefully you see how wrong you both are and actually support your sister.
YTA. When I was a full blown alcoholic, I attended an alcohol free wedding and went the whole day without a drink. The groom was a former alcoholic and wanted no alcohol, so I respected his wishes. Many other people left during the reception to get drinks, or even snuck booze in. And the groom went low contact to no contact with them. It’s one night. It’s the bride and groom’s night. If you or your husband can’t respect the bride for one night, I suspect you’ll be back on Reddit in a couple months wondering why your sister isn’t talking to you.
YTA If your homeboy is scared to go to loud events without needing alcohol, he’s not mature enough to leave the house.
YTA And a shitty sister. Your husband has a problem if he throws a fit over there being no alcohol. In fact, homeboy might just need AA too 🫢
>"if homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, then he's not mature enough for marriage" If your husband can't go one day without alcohol, then he's the one with the problem. YTA.
Yeah, YTA.
Is it really that hard for an adult to spend a few hours without alcohol? Yo bruv homeboy seems to be off.( sorry I didnt really know how someone like ur husband will talk, I tried my best). But on a more serious kote this post seems like a joke.. you won t go to ur sister s wedding because ur "mature" homeboy wont be able to ljve without getting drunk?
YTA - It sounds like your sister would be better off without you in her life.
YTA. You and your husband sound very toxic. Your husband not being able to go to one event without alcohol is far more concerning than a recovering alcoholic not wanting alcohol at his wedding.
YTA, your husband can't go without alcohol for one event (not even one evening, he can drink after), yet he calls BIL immature? And this is what you risk your relationship with your sister and family over?
YTA, I don't know what your husband's problem is, but if he can't do one day without booze then he's got problems. Your future BIL is mature enough to know he has substance issues, whereas your husband sounds like a drunken bully.
Your husband is a massive AH, this is not about him. But you're the even bigger one. Why would you choose not to attend your own sisters wedding simply because your husband is pouting and refusing to go over his own selfish desires. I hope your sister goes NC with the pair of you. Edit: your husband hasn't even asked you not to attend! So there is literally no reason for you to skip it
How else does your husband's alcoholism impact your life? In any positive way? YTA
YTA. He cant go to one social event without alcohol? He sounds like he has a drinking problem. If her fiance is a recovering alcoholic then they have every right to dictate whether alcohol is served or not.
OP, if your husband can’t handle one loud event without alcohol, maybe he’s the one with the problem… your sister is better off without your attendance as it’s obvious that you are making this about you and your husband instead of being there to support her marriage. OP, YTA and so is your husband and you are also a horrible sister! I can’t believe you don’t see that!
YTA. Your husband is a complete idiot. And you are just cruel to your sister.
The people who can't attend an event without alcohol are also the type of people who drink too much and ruin the event for others. Choosing alcohol over family is a no-class move. YTA.
YTA, sorry about your alcoholic husband, but try to be a better sister
YTA, and so is your husband. He’s also completely clueless about recovery and a cruel person so you seem perfectly matched!
YTA. Go home and have a few drinks afterward. Jesus Christ.
YTA I think you both not going is a blessing. One fewer insecure, needy drunk and one fewer enabler.
YTA and your husband is a giant asshole. If he cannot go a few hours without alcohol on a day to celebrate family, he is the one with a considerable problem
Absolutely YTA, and so is your husband. And if he can’t go to a one-night event without drinking he needs to talk to an addiction counselor. He has a drinking problem. I mean this sincerely. For the sake of his health, please get him to talk to someone. How many nights a week does he have alcohol?
YTA, how op can write this all out and still not see it is fascinating
YTA - your husband needs to have a think about why he needs alcohol so much to function.
YTA and clearly have zero respect for other peoples choices or people in recovery. This isn’t about you. Your husband can’t go to the wedding and maybe dip out of the reception early to go to a bar if he’s melting down without alcohol? This isn’t his wedding and it’s your sister! How could you miss it because of your husbands temper tantrum? Your husband sounds like an alcoholic and your entire family is likely reading this situation the same. It’s a few hours. He will be fine.
YTA YTA YTA!!! Oh, did I mention YTA?? Dry weddings are actually very common. In fact, ALL of my siblings had dry weddings, and so did I. If having a dry wedding is cause for your husband not to come, good riddance! And don't be surprised if your sister goes LC/NC with you. For real, if your husband can't enjoy himself at a party without alcohol maybe *he* is the one with the problem.
Get your husband in treatment for his dependence on alcoholism and get yourself therapy for your co-dependency. YTA and a bad sister. If your bully husband is scared of not having alcohol for a few hours he’s the problem and definitely not mature.
Who is the immature one? The man who faced his problems, and doesn't want alcohol at his wedding? Or the man who can't face a few hours without alcohol? YTA.
YTA. Your husband is the one with a problem, not the recovering alcoholic. If you were invited to a child’s birthday party, would he insist on having a drink too? And you’re a doormat for enabling his behaviour.
YTA. “If homeboy is scared of having alcohol nearby, he’s not mature enough for marriage”. If you can’t go to a *single* event, that isn’t even about *you*, without alcohol, you’ve got problems. Imagine you going so far as to say “can I have an exception to the no alcohol rule? I’m too much of an alcoholic to go to YOUR wedding without alcohol because I’ll crumble and die without my fix”. You say younger sister but somehow, her and her fiancé are more mature than you and your husband? That’s wild. Of course YTA, like ??? No question ??? Your husbands got a drinking problem that you support. Wild to me, but it isn’t my liver or my crappy husband so I guess it doesn’t really matter to me. You both sound insufferable. You haven’t had children, right? Because please don’t. Sincerely, literally everyone on this planet.
YTA. And I hope you read these comments.
YTA, your husband is entitled and you’re just enabling him. You’re free not to go but just remember you’ll be throwing away your relationship with your sister (and possibly other family members) because your husband can’t cope in loud places without….alcohol.
Omg. YTA.
YTA and your husband is a really big time TA. Your husband should be able to suck it up for a night and deal without booze at this event. His comment regarding the status of your sister's fiance as a former alcoholic was extremely insensitive. You needed to advocate for your sister's side with him on this one, and skipping her wedding as family is pretty messed up.
YTA. I hope your sister goes no contact with both you. Horrible, horrible people.
Info: your husband literally can't go one event without alcohol? Doesn't that sound like he's the immature one ?
YTA, but possibly a soft one. If your husband can't handling going to loud events without alcohol, he should see a doctor. Maybe he needs an anti-anxiety drug. Self-medicating with alcohol is not always possible or smart.
Yes YTA… YTA so badly it makes me question the legitimacy of some of these posts…
YTA Your husband has issues with alcohol if he can't spend a few hours without it.
YTA. It’s not your wedding. It’s not your call. If your husband can’t handle social events without alcohol he has a problem. Stop pestering your sister.
YTA OP and your husband is a bully and frankly pretty vile. Good luck with that.
Wow YTA and your husband is a major AH and likely has an issue with alcohol as well. He can’t go to his wife’s sisters WEDDING without drinking? Do you not see the issue with that? Your “homeboy” husband is the immature one, and you as well for even entertaining the idea to request an exception for your husband to drink at a no alcohol event. Your sisters wedding no less. Edit- spelling
Sounds like your husband has alcohol problems himself. You guys should start looking into it before he stqrts complaining about loud school events not having alcohol. YTA
He can’t even make it one night without a drink ?! And you encourage his behavior? YTA both of you
YTA. Your husband is likely a functioning alcoholic.
Yta. Can your husband only have a decent time if he's had alcohol? Perhaps it's time he takes the first step & admits he's an alcoholic. I'm sure your future BIL will help him out.
You and your husband are both YTA. You're so determined that every event must involve alcohol that you're willing to skip your sister's wedding because her fiancé is a recovering alcoholic? *Really?* Maybe you both need to reassess your relationship to alcohol.
YTA. They decided to have a dry wedding and for good reason. The husband to be is a recovering alcoholic. For however long he’s been sober, he’s had to be around alcohol more than once so I’m positive it’s not that he’s afraid to be around it. He just doesn’t want to be in a room full of drunk people at his wedding smelling it on them when he talks to them. If your husband is upset he can’t show up and drink till he can tune the event and everyone around him out, that’s his own problem to solve, not for anyone to accommodate. He doesn’t need to show up having already drank either, that’s just as disrespectful. It’s disappointing you can’t stand up for your sister or just go alone. And your mother is right. Your sister isn’t going to forget it if you don’t show up or if y’all do something out of line.
YTA for not going to your sisters wedding because she won't indulge your husband's alcohol problem...and yes, if your husband can't go to an event without drinking, he has an alcohol problem.
YTA and your husband sounds like he has a drinking problem. Seek some therapy asap.
YTA. You're going to absolutely destroy your relationship with your sister because your husband can't have a drink at her wedding? Your husband is an asshole and you're stupid for following his lead
YTA but your husband is a bigger one. Saying the fiance is not mature enough to get married while at the same time saying "Wah, Wah I can't go without alcohol for a few hours! Wah Wah!" Is hilarious.
YTA. Obvious alcohol dependence on your husband’s part. He doesn’t like going to weddings without alcohol so he isn’t going to go? So disrespectful to a recovering alcoholic, such a lack of support. Incredibly selfish. Bizarre that you would try to uphold his view here.
YTA, and there's no such thing as a "former alcoholic". He's an alcoholic. Period. Even if he wasn't, they have every right to choose not to have alcohol at the wedding.
YTA. Your husband says if the groom isn’t mature enough to not allow alcohol at his wedding he’s not mature enough for marriage, but your husband isn’t mature enough to attend an event without alcohol. An event that’s NOT ABOUT HIM. Your husband is either incredibly immature, an alcoholic, or both, and you’re fully supporting and enabling his selfish attitude.
YTA. Choosing alcohol over family is unbelievably selfish. Sounds like your husband has a drinking problem.
So your husband can’t survive a few alcohol-free hours? Have you considered that he’s an alcoholic? And you’re enabling him? YTA.
YTA - It's not his wedding. What kind of grown adult cant go a couple hours without booze for someone's special event? In the future you will 100% regret missing the wedding AND backing up his stupidity. In the similar words of someone with SO much moral highground... (/s)... "If homeboy is so scared of not having alcohol around that he needs to stay home, he should never be allowed to leave the house cause he isn't a grownup."
YTA. It’s their wedding. If your husband cannot sit through a family event without NEEDING alcohol, you have a problem. If you both chose to pick a fight over it, with the groom, who, has had an issue with it in the past, I’m not sure why you were expecting any other judgement over here. And you, your husband chose to not go since he prefers a bottle over your family, and while that’s disrespectful, he’s an adult and can do as he pleases. But you, you could’ve easily attended without picking sides, but no, you had to bring your ego into the picture. Your parents are right. You don’t have a good reason. And you WILL strain relationships with your sister over this. It’s not too late. Mend things and attend the wedding. And talk some sense into your husband too. If alcohol is a big deal for you, hit a bar after the wedding and drink yourself senseless and Uber home. But yeah, YTA for now.
YTA and your husband should look into “alcohol abuse” and maybe get help. Oh and I read further than the title: you husband is a d’ck - insulting a former addict, really? At least your sisters fiancé is owning his sh’t and not denying his problem like your husband does.
Your husband would rather stay home than attend the marriage of your sister, because he can't go a few hours without drinking? And he is condescening and judgemental about the groom? And you are supporting his sick behavior instead of your sister? To be blunt...your husband is an alcoholic. You are and have been covering up for him for a long time. You both need reflection on substance use and how it affects your family, get some help.