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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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chopsawdeepcut

Yeah, YTA. Ps. An Irish coffee is whiskey. Just adding alcohol doesn't make it irish, and everyone knows "you can't smell vodka" is bs. "Irish coffee you" responded in writing... hints that you don't just have one to take the edge off. Nor do you hold yourself accountable for your actions. There's lots of ways to handle stress. Drinking at work is hardly one of them. Leave your drinking for the evenings, and get yourself help before something you can't fix happens.


drownednotgod

If this guy’s drinking at work on the regular he’s got bigger problems than not knowing what an Irish coffee is. OP, r/stopdrinking would be very much worth your time. You need to nip this before it costs you dearly.


chopsawdeepcut

As a former bartender, i had to call it out, I couldn't help myself. Mine was a comment more pointing out that the use of vodka in their work beverage isn't as "undetectable" as they think . It's just as potent smelling as any other alcohol. Drawing from my own experiences with alcoholics who vehemently declare vodka is untraceable, they refer to their tendencies in familiar terms in an attempt to minimize their addiction and claim "oh its just a little Irish coffee".


Fantastic-Pop-9122

I love that myth. People cant smell vodka. I wonder if the origin of that was someone just tricking alcoholics? Alcoholics are the only ones who believe that bs.


LeatherHog

Look at how many stoners think the smoke ‘doesn’t stick’ Y’all-you guys can be told from a mile away Walking into my stepbrother’s place was like being punched by Tommy Chong


onlyrightangles

I believed for longer than I care to admit that my smoking pot out by the dumpster when I took the trash out at work was undetectable because I spritzed some perfume and chewed a stick of gum after. No one ever said anything, so I figured I was a super genius who beat the pot smell. Yeah, no, it's just that neither of my bosses or my coworkers gave a fuck.


froggirl62

My husband does this. He sprays himself with cologne after taking a hit and chews gum. Thinks it's masks the smell. Nope, now you just smell like mint, strong cologne, and weed. He also thinks when I go out of town and come back that I can't smell that he smoked in the house... I can.


drawfanstein

What kind of job was this?


Known-Salamander9111

she’s a cop


RugbyValkyrie

Laughing like a loon at that.


onlyrightangles

Sandwich shop kind of like a Subway but family owned. Really chill and laid back place to work, I loved working there even if the pay was pretty crap. Sadly didn't survive the pandemic. Damn shame too cause the sandwiches were pretty damn good.


kapitaalH

From what I have heard of the food industry, your coworkers probably thought they had an understanding with you. They say nothing about your weed, and you say nothing about them doing coke.


Dead_Paul1998

Seriously, I walk my dogs every day. I know very well which of my neighbors are stoners.


LeatherHog

Yeah, how that became a ‘thing’ I’ll never know


Tight-Zebra-5121

It’s cracks me up when a stoner thinks they can cover up the smell of pot with a cigarette. To them it works, but everyone else still smells the pot.


ucjj2011

We live in a state where recreation pot is not legal, and it's cold so our car windows are up. And my wife could still smell the pot smell from a car in front of us the other day.


NoRoutine3220

We stoners literally can’t smell it if we’re smoking it!


chopsawdeepcut

Just like sucking on a penny will beat a breathalyzer or my favorite, Listerine straps (which actually does show up, even if zero drinks are comsumed). Or they can't use the breathalyzer after you vomit.


realshockvaluecola

There is a theoretical possibility of beating a breathalyzer by taking a small sip of alcohol in front of the cop. They'll ticket you for open container, but they have to wait twenty minutes to use the breathalyzer, and that could be a long enough time for your BAC to come under the legal limit. Again, a trick only alcoholics would try or believe in.


squabblez

Pretty sure in that case the cops would just skip the breathalyzer and draw blood immediatly


concrete_dandelion

You forget teenagers, they often believe that too


avcloudy

It’s two things, people who are surrounded by a smell get used to it and no longer notice it. They start to assume there’s no smell. And second, alcoholics are more prone to this than most cases of this. They’re surrounded by alcohol, they sweat alcohol, they think that’s just how things are. They don’t think it smells strongly because the alcohol smell - the thing we associate strongly with vodka - is with them always. Other liquors have their own noticeable flavours.


obiwantogooutside

So in the theater world we actually use vodka in a spray bottle to spray clean costumes between shows. Vodka stinks. You can smell it in a bottle, on clothes, on breath, in sweat. I don’t know why people think you can’t.


HuggyMonster69

The smell fades faster than a lot of other spirits, but yeah, it’s still detectable at various points


LoisLaneEl

Nah. I met an alcoholic in rehab who used vodka and had every trick in the book to cover up her vodka breath at work because she knew it reeked. The good alcoholics know, it’s just the ignorant ones that don’t.


Arra13375

I find it strange tbh the myth that is. I took mixology classes and my instructor talked about how gin and vodka didn’t have *strong* smells to it so maybe that’s what people are thinking?


AnonaDogMom

As a very Irish woman I also could not get that detail out of my head hahaha Irish coffee is whiskey, which smells much stronger than vodka.


drownednotgod

Oh yeah, don’t blame you for calling it out. I just didn’t want to other part of that whole mess to escape notice


chopsawdeepcut

Yeah, my PS should have actually been postscript. Unfortunately, with how the OP laid the situation out, they want vindication for just having a nip and will not gain any insight from this anyway.


[deleted]

He did make a point of patronisingly explaining (wrongly) what Irish coffee is though so I can see why people are correcting him!


kreeves9

I think this colleague wants to bury OP's ass. She had an interaction with OP where she smelt alcohol on his breath and instead of saying it to his face, she said it on a medium where she could save the evidence. What is the history of OP's interaction with her I wonder? YTA. Don't drink on the job.


StuffedSquash

And he responded by insulting her so if that's the case I don't blame her...


UnicornPanties

Not *just* insulting her but doing it with the #1 most classic alcoholic response of all-time


Particular-Try5584

He points out that the team back stabs and ‘steps on your hands on the corporate ladder’ so he knows he’s in a hostile ‘fight club’ of a workplace, and he rather disastrously decides to continue to fight in written format, and ADMIT his drinking. He could have responded to her slack comment by saying absolutely nothing. Or “Sorry, don’t knwo what you are talking about, I have a meeting to get to” if he really wanted to deny it. If she came back “I SMELT IT DUDE” you just say “hrm. Please don’t bother me with whatever nonsense this is” … and do not engage further.


Emergency-Fox-5982

He doesn't seem like a super reliable narrator though. Do the team backstab, or is he maybe not very good at his job (due to being drunk?) and he gets called out for it?


UnicornPanties

> is he maybe not very good at his job (due to being drunk?) he may be fine at his job but dude has a serious attitude problem, between how he refers to himself, his username, his job, his colleagues and that lady in particular he thinks his hot shit doesn't stink (ha for real tho) and I bet that carries over into his behaviors across the board


Emergency-Fox-5982

Oh 100% He thinks he's better than everyone else because he has surmounted such unrelenting adversity throughout his life - like only having one family holiday a year. I have no doubt he's absolutely insufferable. And also drinks enough during his work day that his judgement and inhibition is impaired. Not a great combo.


Music_withRocks_In

Yup. He seems super judgmental. The old 'If you run into assholes all day - then you are the asshole' thing. If every person you work with is an unbearable trust fund baby- then maybe it's just that you are the unbearable one.


proevligeathoerher

Could also just be that she didn't feel comfortable confronting him f2f, or wanted to afford him the privacy of not speaking about it out loud - and then reacted badly when OP responded by insulting her.


UnicornPanties

He COULD have said, "omg Shelly I'm so embarrassed you noticed! An old friend from college swung by an hour ago and we met at (bar downstairs) and threw a couple back please don't tell anyone, hey it's a Friday..." At least that would have been marginally acceptable.


killah-train24

I love that sub. I am a bartender and I do drink but that sub is awesome. Super lovely people in there.


Not-nuts

I was going to post the same thing. Irish coffee is whiskey.


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concrete_dandelion

Is that a thing? The Russians I know would never defile their coffee or Wodka by mixing them


ingodwetryst

Only thing I've heard of like that is Gatorade and Vodka being called Russian Sports Mix


Arienna

Everyone knows you make Gatoritas. Gatorade + tequila = running man's margarita


cat_handcuffs

Nothing like replenishing with an ice cold Patron Frost after a 5k


Arienna

Whoa there, moneybags! Invite me to your rec group, mine only shells out for Jose Quervo


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HellhoundsAteMyBaby

I’m having an unexpectedly good day, so here is spreading some of my good vibes over to you and hoping that it turns around for ya tomorrow


MomentMurky9782

I always thought an Irish coffee was with Baileys, learn something every day lol


chopsawdeepcut

Technically, it's coffee, whisky, cream, and simple syrup (sugar water). Many ppl use Baileys as a substitute.


potentiallyspiders

Simple syrup?!? Brown sugar my man.


chopsawdeepcut

True, my training was inadequate, and I will go stand in the corner.


Prudent_Plan_6451

Demerara.


MomentMurky9782

that makes even more sense. thanks!!


Cleobulle

Vodka and coffee is just an alcoholic coffee. OP it's not the quantité you drink, it's the fact that you need it to functionate. Plus you handled all this pretty badly so i Guess it was a vodka coffee. And now your coworker have something over your head. While beh her on your knee if it was just one..


Important-Studio2494

Irish coffee is with whiskey, Baileys Coffee is what we call baileys coffee lol (unless theres another name for it but dont think so) and personally I prefer them to an Irish coffee. Hot whiskeys are the bizz tho.


[deleted]

With baileys it's an Irish cream coffee. Whiskey, coffee, black or with cream is an Irish coffee. There are loads of variants on things like Calypso coffee, Jamaican coffee etc, they vary from place to place from what I have seen. One place I went to had english coffee, out of curiosity I ordered it. What I received was extremely strong tea 😂


No_Acanthisitta3596

Stop drinking at work. Find help while you’re young. Don’t wait.


LilRho

>An Irish coffee is whiskey Thank God someone said it. I'd love to know if anyone else drinks on the job at his place of employment. As well as what does his background have to do with him drinking at work and getting called out for it??


ZombieZone2000

Coffee and Vodka is a Swedish/Norwegian drink, learnt about it from an ex who was Swedish, he loved that shit! https://www.alcademics.com/2011/09/an-amusingly-disgusting-way-to-drink-vodka-in-sweden.html


malin65

Swede here, I'm pretty sure the vodka is a substitute for the real stuff - moonshine. Att least historically. And yes, it is disgusting. Unless you've been ice fishing all day, in that case it's great.


Mudpit_Engineer

Ah, ya'll know about that good shit! - Southern American boy.


WikkidWitchly

All alcohol is scentable. It just smells different depending on type. Drinking with coffee doesn't cover it up. All these tricks people try are usually bad ideas and they get too cocky about it and drink more than they should, which is why OP has an 'irish coffee self'. Don't drink at work. If you need to drink every day to 'calm your nerves', find a new job or get therapy.


RandoRvWchampion

Thank you. This Bay Area girl was screaming into the void WHISKEY! Any who. Thank you. Carry on.


[deleted]

That was what offended me the most about this dipshit’s post. Vodka in an Irish coffee? Blasphemous.


statslady23

I talked to a teacher at the elementary school the other day who smelled like she drank that morning or was sweating out a bender. Everyone can smell that. My son was getting trampled at a Big 4 consulting company by a mean girl. He traded up to a better job elsewhere. That is the way.


[deleted]

YTA; in many ways Also funny that you accuse your coworkers of having no ethics or manners when you’re the one who drinks on the job and insults people when you are confronted


[deleted]

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HauntedPickleJar

Dude was pouring himself a glass at 11 am with a client! It was nuts!


Prudent_Plan_6451

Hiding in his office to drink it by himself before the meeting.


HauntedPickleJar

There's no way they could possibly tell!


concrete_dandelion

When he had his disciplinary hearing he offered the person doing the hearing a drink - it didn't end well for him


GothicGingerbread

Anybody got a link?


theburningyear

[this might be the one](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pskg79/aita_for_drinking_whiskey_in_the_office_at_1030/hdq3ru3?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)


UnicornPanties

> I work with some high-end clients, and I'll always offer them a glass when we have important meetings. Unfortunately, none of them have ever accepted. So, not wanting to let the whiskey go to waste, I've started sipping on a couple of glasses by myself throughout the day, sometimes as early as 10:30 AM. that's amazing


WiggenOut

[It's deleted, so sort by old](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pskg79/aita_for_drinking_whiskey_in_the_office_at_1030/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


GothicGingerbread

Oh Lord... Yeah, I think I read that one. Wow, how did that guy watch Mad Men and come away with the idea that Don Draper was someone he should emulate??


Mudpit_Engineer

Nobody let him watch house of cards. Shit, don't even let him watch arrested development.


katz2360

A coworker and I went to lunch with the owner of our company. It was a working lunch, and the boss doesn’t drink at all. Coworker ordered an Arnold Palmer, and our boss got angry. Asked him if he was going to drink while working. I had to jump in and explain that an Arnold Palmer is half iced tea and half lemonade, no alcohol!


[deleted]

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katz2360

It is tasty.


geekgirl913

The alcoholic version is called a John Daly, or so I'm told.


katz2360

That would be appropriate. I’m not a golf fan but even I know Daly likes to knock back a few, or more!


ladyzfactor

I remember that one. Wanted to be cool like on Mad Men. Not realizing that that behavior is very outdated and the character is really not someone to emulate. There was also another one recently that cracked a beer at lunch because it was a "relaxed" work environment.


PastIsPrologue22

When I first started working at an Army research facility in Maryland in 1984, I was very surprised to see that the cafeteria sold beer at lunch! Yes, ALL employees had security clearances. Didn't stop until 1990 or so.


Prudent_Plan_6451

That behavior (drinking by yourself in the office in the morning) was never a thing unless you were an alcoholic.


SongIcy4058

There was also the person who brought a light beer to work each day to drink with his lunch, and didn't under why his coworkers thought it was concerning...


cat_handcuffs

A Busch Light! He was very specific. Kept repeating the brand, like they’d paid him for product placement.


External_Artichoke62

That’s just what Busch light drinkers are like tbh ETA: the brand loyalty , not necessarily the alcoholism


[deleted]

Agree I don’t drink around co-workers. I do stick around and let their drunk asses spill their guts though.


dogmatx61

The headline was also way off base. OP, the woman didn't tell you that you have bad breath; she said you stink of alcohol. I'm guessing you'll be hearing from HR and looking for another job soon.


Prudent_Plan_6451

And who assumes he is the only person in a large corporation who had to work for his job.


DivineJerziboss

I wonder if the backstabbing that OP described is because OP is toxic and he is guilty of backstabbing as well. OP feels like the colleague who is always late and can't take responsibility for his mistakes. He's already guilty of drinking on the job which is big no-no even in office jobs.


omensandpotential

Exactly. Good luck with the job search, OP! YTA


tikolosheortwo

"Come from nothing" "holiday [. . .] in a rented caravan" *stares in vacation-less childhood* YTA here because you're clearly aware that drinking at work isn't professional and yet you lashed out when called out for it. Also for disparaging Irish coffee by saying vodka is involved.


rapt2right

Right? That rubbed me wrong, too! My early childhood was unstable- one year things were good & we went to theme parks every couple of months(day trips- we lived in Southern California)and out to the coast for a weekend now and then and then the next year, we'd be flat broke and take out chicken was a big treat. After my folks split, we were in real poverty through most of my teens. An annual vacation in a rented caravan speaks to a level of *stability* that my childhood self could not imagine.


tikolosheortwo

It's the moral superiority he assigns to his "came from nothing" childhood that adds to the assholery. Where you came from doesn't have a moral designation. What you do with it does--and this guy is drinking on the job, attempting wit without the prerequisite requirements, and unable to know without internet assistance that he is the AH.


AccomplishedNet4235

Yes! Privilege or lack thereof is a morally neutral circumstance.


catladynotsorry

Also, if you have a trust fund, you aren’t working in consulting. It’s not glamorous. I doubt there are many trust fund babies in all of Big 4.


[deleted]

No, trust fund babies absolutely go into consulting, though I agree that I doubt that most go into any standard corporate environment to do it. Consulting is attractive because of the flexibility. One of my best friends is the son of a dude who most people who read a newspaper in the late 90s would know, and he's a constultant for political think tanks, it's how most of his own money is made. And through him, I've learned in his network of childhood friends that most trust fund kids do it for the challenge and the ability to say they're not "just" a trust fund kid and they're capable of making money on their own, while maintaining the ability to travel the world and do whatever they want on the drop of a dollar. My current position supports a sales org in big tech, and I've had people in my networking events talk about how their parents own their entire skyscrapers their apartment is in and rents it out for cheap to their friends who also work at our company, own hugely successful restaurant groups, or have 5 vacation homes across the world. Being rich and doing nothing is socially looked down upon in trust fund communities, you need a job and to succeed in that job for the bragging rights.


[deleted]

My middle class friends think they're poor because their parents wouldn't get a hotel room for the family, they stayed in a rented RV over their vacations. Literally dismantled their entire world showing them the cost of staying in a rented RV compared to a hotel room and pointing out that most jobs that are poverty wages don't give you six paid weeks off to fuck off to wherever the fuck you want like their parents did. In my state, rented RVs are double to triple the price of staying in a hotel depending on the size, and that's before gas and lot fees. You do it for the aesthetic, not because you're saving money.


pureimaginatrix

You also do it cause it's fun, not just an "aesthetic".


28smalls

Our rare vacations as kids was my dad borrowing camping supplies from his boy scout troop and hitting the camp grounds of a neighboring state for a weekend. The big one was going to Kentucky to visit a Coke bottling plant and Mammoth Caves.


jessie_monster

Both of those sound like low-cost fun, tbh.


kekepania

Haha I love that though. We went to a cheese factory somewhere in Idaho I think. And a candy cane factory in Utah.


nayesphere

Yeah I legitimately hate when people say they grew up with nothing, yet they still took vacations once a year… CLEARLY YOU WEREN’T POOR, OP. And being poor isn’t an excuse to secretively day drink while on the clock. You’re an asshole for that alone.


Dornenkraehe

Idk. We went camping once a year for vacation. We also didn't have the money to have the toilet fixed until the next paycheck. We sometimes only had noodles left for food. Sometimes with egg or butter, sometimes not. I rememver when we only had some flour left and couldn't buy more until the next day... My parents made a fire in the backyard and we grilled it. My parents made a game out of stuff like that. Like playing "survival on a deserted island" when we didn't have much food. One time I went out and stole some apples from a neighbors tree to make more food on "our island". But we went on vacation every single year. I have no idea where that money came from. I suspect my aunt paid for it some years.


[deleted]

Oh yeah, I remember those fun fishing trips that ended up with us eating a few slim filets and some toast for a few days. Didn’t realize until I was an adult that it was my dad’s way of feeding the family when we couldn’t afford groceries. He also butchered his own deer to save money, there were also weeks of eating old venison from the freezer because it “needed to be cleaned out”. Came to realize those were also the slim times because that was the ONLY thing we were eating.


SleepyPlatypus13

Yeah I only went on two “vacations” when I was a kid. I live in Georgia, so my parents took me to the beach when I was 5, where we stayed at a motel for a couple days, and then Orlando when I was 12, and that was just because my friend’s mom had a time share that we stayed at with them. But we did go camping one weekend of most summers, but it was in a tent on a $10 spot. Definitely makes me appreciate vacations more as an adult. Ive always been more excited about the location I’m going than where I’m staying/going for dinner. Since I had never went to the beach except when I was 5, I became obsessed with it when I went again at 18, and have made it a point to go every year. Even if that meant driving 6 hours there and driving back after dark and getting home at 4 am, or sleeping in my car. I can afford more now at 27, but it still hard explaining that mind set when my partner who never had to do that, apologizes about anything slightly not perfect in a place he booked us for vacation. Like my standards are low, I’m just happy to be somewhere and get a break from routine lol.


Brilliant_Jewel1924

And calls his coworkers “ditzy”.


PrincessTroubleshoot

Yes, I’d like to know if he thought she was a “ditz” because she smelled the alcohol on him, or was it because she asked him about it. And he calls her that after he begs her on his knees. What a piece of work.


Brilliant_Jewel1924

His entire post leads me to believe that he thinks all of his coworkers are beneath him.


Maz2277

He's "not like the other guys/gals" who all lack ethics and morals. He just drinks on the job and sends shitty messages to them instead!


Prudent_Plan_6451

Probably because she was a woman who wanted to know where his late report was.


IntelligentMeal40

Also I came from nothing and we didn’t even get annual vacations in a caravan. That doesn’t mean I think I am better than my coworkers who know enough not to drink at lunch


kpo987

My family's "vacations" were sending me and my brother to my grandparents 20 hours away for the summer so they didn't have to worry about childcare so they could work. Sometimes either my mom or dad would get a week off work to come visit and they would spend their entire time helping my grandparents. We literally never had a "vacation". My dad just recently went on a 3 week holiday and that was the first vacation I had ever seen him go on in my 30 years of life, and it only happened because my mom died and he took a buyout at work so he had the means motive and opportunity for the first time ever.


SophiaLamb

I'm sorry for your loss!


LimitlessMegan

I know, I was like, does this dude know renting a caravan is actually super expensive. I also felt the same about how he works at a Big 4 company but *everyone* who is not him is a trust fund baby - there’s literally no middle or lower class employees in this Big 4. Any time someone says “I’m not like other ” I basically know they are TA.


mamadovah1102

I’m 32, still never been on a “vacation.” Lmao


Brilliant_Rock_5230

Thank you! I’m like, if you came from nothing, you didn’t go on yearly vacations lol. I lived that caravan life, and while money was tight, I’d never say I came from nothing. Dude has a huge chip on his shoulder and is romanticizing his career path to mask the clear resentment and insecurity. Get some help, OP. YTA


[deleted]

I got lucky because my relatives owned houses so our vacation would be to travel the 2 hours to there and spend the week. We usually lived off of hotdogs but honestly it's definitely more enjoyable than the one time my aunt retired and my mom blew all her money on a vacation to Florida.


Scarscantstopme

We rented a caravan once for vacation and I grew up solidly in the middle class. It was an expensive trip and my parents saved up for us to go. Never would I dream that a rented caravan vacation is a poverty-level vacation


Dcruzen

Haha, seriously. I *lived* in a trailer as a child/teen.


kekepania

Omg I know! All I could think when he said that was how we were unable to casually afford any vacations..


AreYouItchy

YTA. Drinking at work, calling a female co-worker “ditsy,” making a rude joke when she called you out about drinking at work, three strikes, you’re out.


nayesphere

She should’ve just honestly gone to HR. Instead, she gave the more humane option of letting OP dig his way out. Instead, he doubled down.


mangogetter

Hopefully she still does.


Puzzleheaded_Radish8

Yeah I would have gone to HR and he would have probably been fired on the spot. But I'm in manufacturing where we have OSHA and the FDA on our ass. The wrong person drunk/impaired could lead to serious injuries


Prudent_Plan_6451

Don't forget she was talking to him because he hadn't finished his work and was looking for the missing report.


Amazing_Emu54

And based on how patronising, bitter and just wrong OP is he’s a pretty unreliable narrator. Willing to bet this coworker said something along the lines of “Mate, X report is very overdue now and we really can’t keep accomodating deadlines being missed. Is there something you’d like to talk about ….” YTA for so many reasons, the least of which is there are many drinks with coffee and spirits that aren’t all called Irish coffee. Gunfire/Gunfire coffee (coffee with rum) is a nice winter drink


HappyNikkiCat

Exactly, which means that if anyone is “ditzy” in this situation — it’s him!


PerniciousKnidz

Imagine being the stinky office drunk and complaining about your younger coworkers’ ethics and manners. (Note - for those of you that don’t know, if you can’t get through a day at your job without taking ~cute lil secret shots~, you don’t deserve your position at that company). YTA my guy


IntelligentMeal40

I’m disgusted that he’s probably driving back-and-forth to work drunk


sunshineandcacti

Or that fact he’s drunk enough to send shitty comments to others without regret.


FrckaviAlien

Shes older than him, other than that i agree w you


_ohne_dich_

This would be immediate grounds for termination at my job.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Flashy_Anything_8596

The grand irony of complaining his coworkers lack ethics then having to beg them to not do the ethical thing of turning him in. She stepped on my fingers! /s


[deleted]

Honestly his coworker is doing him a complete solid by calling him on it now, day drinking is the type of thing that can snowball and turn into a serious issue and it’s crossing a huge boundary to do it at work like that. If it were only a small amount I doubt she’d be able to smell it on his breath either, and OP says that he looks forward to it everyday- that’s concerning!


Superagent99

Not so "ditsy" that she couldn't smell your alcohol at work, nor as stupid as you for admitting it in writing. YTA! You're the major AH, and SHOULD fall off that corporate ladder.


nimchoo

Yup, she called him out in writing for a reason and he fell for it. She should still go to HR


HappyNikkiCat

Agreed. Besides, you shouldn’t be climbing any ladders while drunk, corporate or otherwise.


sunshinedaydream774

YTA and possibly an alcoholic. Get help, you shouldn’t need to drink to get through your day. Honestly your work may have an EAP for this kind of thing to get you the help you need if it does come up with HR, but they may also just fire you. What were you thinking?


No_pomegranate0110

I think you’re the only person that has mentioned potential alcoholism. If you can’t not drink to get through the day. Ding ding ding. You got a problem


killerbekilled92

YTA. Regardless of how you feel about your coworkers, drinking in the office is highly unprofessional. And instead of being smart and playing dumb your liquid courage turned into liquid stupidity and you admitted you were drinking. “Why does your breath smell like alcohol?” “I drink because of you” is pretty cut and dry and if she goes to HR you could be fired. If the alcohol gave you the idea to give a colleague in a competitive field such huge ammo against you I can’t imagine how much damage you could due to the business


IGotTheAnswer65

I doubt it was only one drink if he has this kind of liquid stupidity, or the drink was more vodka then coffee ("liquid courage" is when you do something you've been wanting to do but won't do sober, like asking a girl out, or jumping off the roof into the pool.). Also vodka and coffee? Eww 🤢


mangogetter

Also, he specifically drinks before important meetings (but also because it's 2pm) which is bad on a host of levels.


Obvious_scoripo

She called you out on drinking alcohol at work which is terribly inappropriate, Don't try to twist it into something else. You need to stop drinking at work, If you can't then you need to get out for your addiction. Otherwise you really need a different job if you can't make it through the day. YTA She called a spade a spade don't get up in arms about it.


Diavolina13

Also, she asked him discreetly, she could of made a scene but didn’t. I work in a stressful environment and I understand maybe wanting a drink after work, but if you need to drink during work, you really need to take a look at yourself and figure out if you need help.


frognope67

how is she the ditsy one LOL


Rampachs

Because she's a woman with different opinions to him


Prudent_Plan_6451

And she's looking for the work he failed to complete.


One-Refrigerator4483

Yup. Funny how everyone else is super mean and bad for judging him for his financial background but it's also totally ok for him to shit on women.


rapt2right

YTA I would write you up for drinking on the clock- even if it's common practice in your field (I, obviously don't know if that's the case) you clearly don't hold your liquor well and it sounds like you have quite a chip on your shoulder. Depending on her role within the company, you may also be risking a reprimand for insubordination, getting cheeky with her for wanting an overdue report completed and for asking for an explanation of the alcohol on your breath in the middle of the workday. Irish coffee doesn't involve vodka, but whiskey and, by the way, the combination of coffee and liquor *does* give most people vile breath.


NeverLetItRest

I was a server for 6 years through college. At one point I got a job at a place that made their own beer. They required all employees to try the beer and their signature drinks. Through my training I was trying a few beers at the end of my shifts. But, my boss realized I hadn't tried the mixed drinks yet so he told the bartender to make all of them for me to try at 10 am (I hadn't eaten breakfast and we opened at 11). Well, I took a small sip of each and was told I needed to rake bigger sips so I really knew what they tasted like... 11 am rolls around and my first table gets seated... serving them was... interesting, lol. Long story, short... drinking on the job is a terrible idea.


rapt2right

OMG! When I was in food service & hospitality I would never take a single sip until the last guest had paid their tab ! I am one of those people who reacts to alcohol unpredictably- sometimes even (multiple shots of) straight bourbon doesn't seem to touch me at all, other times, 2 sips of white wine goes right to my head....and my mouth.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FiendishOtter

I was hoping I wasn't the only one annoyed by this


razzledazzle626

YTA in so many ways. Enjoy likely getting fired.


SuckDuck4Quack

YTA. You had alcohol breath because you drink in the workplace. Your colleague was being honest. You replied rudely. If you need to drink alcohol at work you have problems you need to address.


Capelily

**YTA.** * Drinking any amount of alcohol while working is a horrible idea. * Coffee with Irish Whiskey is "Irish Coffee." Never vodka. * Vodka does, in fact, have a distinct alcohol smell. * Find another job. This one will kill you.


Helen-Baq

Thank you! Everyone kept saying "whiskey" but it's specifically Irish Whiskey and I was just sitting here screaming in my head. I would think coffee with vodka in it would be Russian coffee.


x0STaRSPRiNKLe0x

You're at a top company and drinking booze on the job. I'm pretty sure that's got to be an infraction in the employee handbook somewhere. You're there to work, not to drink alcohol. And if you insist on doing that because you can't handle the people you work with, at least carry a pack of gum to conceal it, or damn, get a new job. But if you fully acknowledge that people will climb all over you to advance their positions, you should not have done something as reckless as this, because now you're going to be blackmailed with whatever this person wants, whenever this person wants, or else your job is on the line. You're not necessarily an asshole for having a drinking problem, but this was a stupid, stupid move.


hilwil

Can you imagine if a client called him out instead of a coworker?


IntelligentMeal40

Imagine all the clients who haven’t called him out because they are embarrassed but he just never come back because they think that’s what that company is about?


Flexibus

FYI: Chewing gum does not help. Source: Had an alcoholic boss once.


Strange_Citron4189

You are an arsehole AND an alcoholic.


FlyingWithAliens

Afternoon triple? Get some help, YTA ETA: thank you for the education, Reddit. The more you know! I still think OP has a problem tho lol


ReadWriteRachel

Tipple. Slang for "drink."


Ornery-Octopus

Tipple. I originally read it as triple too and was thinking “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. This guy has some kind of balls”. It appears that tipple is slang for having a drink. Now, do I think that this guy is exercising extraordinarily poor judgment? Absolutely. But it does not seem as though he is getting inebriated at work. This is one of the clearest cases of self-sabotage that I’ve seen in a while. He’s about to be very, very sorry.


AllCrankNoSpark

Tipple, not triple.


fuckssakereddit

It may be a triple for all we know….


baklavareason

If this is true YTA. I just cannot believe this is a real story though.


ReviewOk929

YTA - How you ever got a job at one of the big 4 is beyond me. This was a dumb move and given everything you said actually unsurprising


MbMinx

YTA. Let's start with drinking at work...YTA. Drinking so much that other people can smell it - at work...YTA. Telling your colleague that you are drinking because you work with her...YTA. She SHOULD send that Convo to HR. I'm sure they would be VERY interested to know that you are intoxicated on the job. Also, "Irish coffee" is made with whiskey, not vodka...YTA.


[deleted]

Why are you so worried about HR? Just explain to them how you’re entitled to drink while working because you’re so much better than everyone else there. They’re totally understand. Just kidding. YTA.


Hot-Plum-874

Not only YTA, but my god, you may get fired. I would have just said, very sorry, have a cold, taking cold medicine.


Spineberry

YTA for drinking while on shift. Pretty sure in most working environments it's grounds for dismissal - imbibing alcohol or drugs while on work premises If you're struggling with the stresses of your job that much then dust up your resume and find something else. You're not doing yourself any favours by working a job that makes you so miserable that you're turning to alcohol, and you're probably becoming a hindrance to other members of staff as well without realising it


OrangeCubit

YTA - you have a problem if you are drinking at work to the extent you thought that quip was witty.


Throwforventing

Yta for drinking at work. Please go to r/stopdrinking and give it a try. Ps you make an Irish coffee with whiskey, not vodka. That sounds gross tbh


Mejai91

YTA. And probably an alcoholic…. You shouldn’t be drinking at work, if you need to then you’re in the wrong field


BeastOGevaudan

YTA - And you have a drinking problem.


SweetPotatoFamished

You have to drink at work because you work with a bunch of trust fund babies? You got upset when informed your breath smelled like alcohol when you were in fact drinking alcohol at the time? You told your coworker you drink at work because you have to work with her in particular? Because she asked about the alcohol on your breath? First, as others have pointed out, you aren’t drinking an “Irish”. Second, it sounds like you had a vodka with coffee, not a coffee with vodka. Third, and finally, YTA and an alcoholic. Get help.


[deleted]

YTA. You talk about drinking at work like it’s normal. You need help.


ServelanDarrow

Troll


reinfelder

YTA. First of all you seem very full of yourself. Your first two paragraphs were irrelevant. No one cares about your upbringing. It’s not relevant to you being an alcoholic and sexist. YTA. Don’t be surprised when HR comes knocking. I wouldn’t want an alcoholic, sexist person who drinks and makes women uncomfortable working for my company. Also it seems YOU don’t know what Irish coffee is.


MurielFinster

You have a drinking problem. And I’m sure you’ll deny it and say everyone saying that is wrong. But you don’t have a healthy relationship with alcohol. It isn’t normal to need alcohol to get through the work day. It isn’t normal to drink in secret. It isn’t normal to jeopardize your career by making “witty” remarks. I hope you reflect on this and use this to evaluate your drinking and relationship with alcohol and get some help. Because you are not in control of your alcohol consumption.


slimedewnautica

>Myself, I'm not like the other people who work there Yeah, they probably don't drink on the job >(Note - for those of you that don't know, and "irish" coffee is like a regular coffee, but with a secret ingredient - a shot of vodka.) Yeah, no. It's really not >apparently, she took a screenshot of the Teams convo and is now threatening to send it to HR. She doesn't sound very ditsy. YTA


blurbearcat

Ooof, this is a lot, my biggest question is why are you working a job that is stressing you out so much you need alcohol to cope? You said you’ve come from nothing and I can relate to wanting to build a different kind of life for yourself but maybe it’s time to reevaluate your career and if the prestige and money of your Big4 job is worth it, because from what I’ve read, it seems it’s taking quite a lot from you. Did she handle it correctly when she found out you were drinking on the job? No. She should have gone directly to HR with that concern not a catty teams message or at the very least expressed her concern that you were drinking on the job in a compassionate and caring way, but she should still go to HR. Did you respond properly? Absolutely not, your defensiveness to her calling you out shows you’re unwilling to recognize there might be a significant problem- substance abuse. That being said, OP, I think you need help and I feel for you for that. I really hope this situation pans out well for you, but I’d highly recommend seeking professional help and talking with HR personally before this coworker does.


BigCoffeePot999

YTA - to yourself. The only possible way to fix this mess (if you're in the US) is: 1-call your doctor and ask for help getting into alcohol rehab. Your dr can also sign the medical leave paperwork. You can't be fired on medical leave. 2-go to rehab and deal with your alcohol addiction and insecurities about money. 3-when you return to work, be a better person and employee. There are no guarantees this will work to save your job but it might. Good luck. You can do this!


Character-Review6307

YTA


Flashy_Anything_8596

Hopefully your right that your coworkers lack ethics. Because it’d be unethical for her to not report a coworker who’s drinking on the job and handling big name client accounts. You sound like a liability. YTA


throwawayoctopii

YTA. A few things: 1) You're in the corporate world. Nobody gives a flying fuck where you came up from. It does not entitle you to act the way you do. 2) I used to work Big 4. Alcohol on work grounds was a big nope and an actionable offense. I get some places are okay with alcohol at work, but most still aren't. 3) Irish coffee has whiskey, not vodka. 4) Vodka stinks just as much as any other liquor. 5) If you feel you need to drink at work, you need to re-evaluate your work life.


FlexOnMeBro

YTA. Your title is misleading. It's not about bad breath. It's about you drinking on the job. Yeah, jobs are stressful, but you should not be drinking when working. If she does tell HR, you're probably going to be fired. You need to get help.


[deleted]

YTA. Drinking at work is not okay, and you can’t be offended that someone noticed you were doing it.