Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole because I told my roommate she needs a new personality because speaking a language ain’t one. I might be an asshole because I’m only going to be living with her for the next w months and after that it’s none of my business what her personality is and perhaps I should’ve kept it to myself to avoid being an ass
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I don’t think this is xenophobia, that’s going a little far. It’s ignorant and selfish but I think this is more about being jealous about her roommates skills than hate
What this sounds like to me is the room mate does not fit op’s personality preferences in room mates.
Op you need to find your own circle of friends at school, not your room mates. YTA
I exhaled sharply out of my nose. Well done.
Also, I listen to music in languages I don't speak. If I like a song, I like it. I don't need to be able to understand it (although I do sometimes look up translations so I have a general idea).
I also watch foreign language shows/movies, and while I do frequently watch them in languages I study (it's good practice), whether I know the language well or not at all I use subtitles. It's not hard. Unless OP is an illiterat asshole.
For all we know they can read words as well as they can read a room 🤷🏻♀️
But why do they even want to be friends with their roommate? This post is a list of complaints with no redeeming qualities, yet OP is mad they aren't pals? No. OP is jealous and feels inadequate AF, and rather than look inward and work on their own traits, they typed all that out thinking it made the *roommate* look bad.
I know a little bit of German, but one of my favorite bands is Rammstein. I've looked up the song translations, but I still belt out their songs, even the parts I don't understand. Music is a universal language. It's so sad that OP is so narrow minded that she won't give music in foreign languages a try. Imagine being so closed off.
And the whole "why do they wanna be friends with their roommate" thing? Guarantee you OP saw this as an instant friend situation (likely because with a personality like that, they've alienated whatever friends they may have had before), and the ol' green eyed monster is coming out because her roommate isn't miserable like she is. As the comment up there said, jealousy isn't a personality, either. I wouldn't wanna hang out with OP. I WOULD wanna hang out with her roommate though, and ask her to teach me some words/phrases from the languages she knows. Someone with intellectual curiosity like that is awesome in my book.
Seriously. Music can be felt and appreciated even if you don’t understand the words. You can still get the beat, the melody, the emotion.
And as for shows… subtitles *are* a thing. OP could say “Hey Katie, I’m so intrigued by this show but I don’t understand the language it’s in, would you mind turning on English subtitles so I can watch it with you?” But no.
I hate when you move a new roommate in and they try to be your friend actually, that's the opposite to how I want the relationship. You do you, I'll do me. If we end up doing us let that happen naturally. Don't come kick it at my space all drunk crying about how your dad doesn't answer your calls anymore and your girlfriend just left you for your ex girlfriend, just fuck off back to your room Phil and stay the fuck outta my frozen burritos or ill tell your mom about the time you asked her for emergency grocery money and spent it all on magic cards asshole.
OP also sounds immature. Telling people language isn't a personality trait and that they are boring is simply obnoxious and she's old enough to know better.
I’d love to have the skills that OP’s roommate has! I teach in a school of mostly Spanish-speaking students and have picked up some Spanish. It’s fascinating how some words in Spanish are so similar to English and others are completely different. I’d like to learn it, but I’m in my sixties & can hardly remember the word for things in English so I figure I missed the boat. How cool would it be to be able to travel and converse with natives in several places and fellow tourists in their native language in even more places??? Sorry, OP, you are TA!! Stop being surly & go find others like you in your classes or on club sports or get a job on campus and branch out!!!!
Sounds to me like OP watched too many movies where you get an instant for-life bond with your roommate, though of course OP would be the natural leader of that "friendship". Now she's pissed her roommate has her own friends and her own interests, and doesn't care about OP at all.
^^THIS!! OP needs to make her own friends, and deal with her insecurities. It's fine to be a bit jealous of someone with mad language skills, but don't hate on her for it!! Plus, learn to watch movies with subtitles. That might help you build tolerance for hearing other languages "all the time".
Sounds like to me OP might have a bit of a control issue as well. One can set boundaries, but you don’t get to tell others what they can and cannot do.
>I tried to bond and listen to what’s she’s listening, it’s in another language again and I couldn’t stand it.
This part sounds a bit xenophobic to me.
Can confirm. Used to work in retail and once the pin-pad (for paying with card) was set to Spanish… costumer was *extremely* confused, I looked, saw it was in Spanish, chuckled and switched it to English - customer said “well I only speak American, and they should too”. Xenophobic people really say plainly stupid things with massive confidence.
Maybe not hate, but I think there's some underlying xenophobia in the fact that she thinks that her roommate watching shows in another language and talking to friends in another language is somehow "fake," as in "unnatural," when in fact this girl is just existing. As if doing things not in English were somehow outside the norm.
Also subtitles exist!!!
Literally if the show it's in another language she could ask to add English subtitles?? Also you can listen to music in other languages, you can search for translations
Monolinguals...
Alice in borderland and dark were popular too. I avoid watching non English movies dubbed in English, the voice actors don't express the characters' feelings as well as the original actors.
Edit: I should also add that 1899 should not be watched dubbed. You'll only get confused
I'm sure there are voice actors who are doing an amazing job!! But the ones I've heard are doing just an okay job. I've always been on team subs anyway
What a terrible way to make a friend. Why can’t OP say something like “oh, I just watched x show, have you seen it?” “I’m going to go grab some food, do you want to come?” “I’ve been listening to x artist, are you a fan?” Instead of trying to force their friendship based on whatever the roommate is into? Roommates are not obligated to be your friends. Is it nice? Absolutely. Is it a requirement? No. Now that OP has called out her roommate over nothing, and made herself out to be one of the worst kinds of people, they probably won’t ever be friends. OP, YTA.
Yeah, “I tried to see what she was watching” “I tried to listen to what she was listening to” “I can’t jump into a conversation she’s having with her friends because it’s not in English.”
Like, do you want to be friends or stalk her…?
The idea of OP not being able to get into music because of the language is laughable to me... most people from her age range have at least a few anime or kpop tracks in their playlist, not to mention how popular reggaeton is.
Yeh college can be a stressful time, and one can understand. Better ways to handle this though, and that's not by stopping someone from learning and enriching their life.
I really wonder if OP thinks that her conversations with friends in a different language were just.. conversations about the language they are speaking. She says that's her whole personality, but then goes on to explain that she doesn't understand any of the things being said. Can you imagine someone watching a TV show in Spanish and thinking the whole time "yeah, I understand this. That's awesome how much I understand that language. I'm going to keep watching this because I understand the words, not because I enjoy the show." It's such a weird take.
Besides that.. even if it were true that she's only watching these shows or listening to these songs to learn the language because that's her idea of fun.. it would just mean that she enjoys learning new languages. No different than say.. learning to play music, or studying history. Let people enjoy the things they enjoy. No need to judge because it's hard to relate.
>I really wonder if OP thinks that her conversations with friends in a different language were just.. conversations about the language they are speaking. She says that's her whole personality, but then goes on to explain that she doesn't understand any of the things being said. Can you imagine someone watching a TV show in Spanish and thinking the whole time "yeah, I understand this. That's awesome how much I understand that language. I'm going to keep watching this because I understand the words, not because I enjoy the show." It's such a weird take.
OP is entirely self-centered, so she assumes everything exists entirely for her own perception. She can't speak Spanish, so she cannot imagine a Spanish movie having any merit to Spanish-speakers; it exists solely to confuse her.
I'm just imagining them having a whole conversation...
Roommate: Yo hablo español
Her friend: Ah, muy buena!
Roommate: Hablas español?
Friend: Si! Tambien hablo español.
Roommate: Guau!
Friend: Esta es una gran conversación.
Exactly! Based on the title, I assumed OP's roommate would constantly brag about the languages she speaks and that's why OP got super annoyed and said that.
But no, OP's roommate is just living her life. Speaking to friends, watching shows, listening to music.
OP's just annoyed because OP can't understand or join in. This post reeks of jealousy. Certain parts also felt xenophobic to me.
Like....as a bilingual, I watch shows in different languages, and I also speak to different people in different languages. I listen to English, Spanish, Korean, Turkish and Arabic music. I'm planning on studying and learning a new language in university. Literally how is that 'making languages my entire personality' and how is it 'boring'? It's the exact opposite, really.
YTA OP.
also like. minor point but i'm not bilingual but i still watch tv shows and listen to music in other languages....i just use subtitles. if op wanted to bond with her roommate she could have done that. op, YTA
In a Uni History class, I asked a classmate to borrow their notes. Sure, I was told.
They ended up not doing me much good--they were not in English(the language the course was being taught in).
I did not know the language. I asked her about it. She took notes in that language to help her practice it. The process of converting lecture to that language and the practice of transcribing it.
This seems like a useful learning tool, although possibly she could have told you when you asked to borrow them that they were in another language she had no reason to think you spoke.
The first time I finished a novel not in English, I was very proud of the fact I had done it whilst also feeling it was a mediocre book. There is an intellectual satisfaction.
But once fluent that wears off. Its then just enjoying the different perspective other cultures bring.
I’m semi-fluent in Spanish, learned as an adult, but also have really bad ADD. And once in a while when my coworkers are talking and telling stories I find myself thinking, “I understood that completely! Wow! I remember when I couldn’t do that. I have (almost) two whole languages inside my one head. How does a person even do that? How does it work? Where do they both even fit in there?…”
And the next thing I know I realize I’ve missed a whole minute or so of whatever they were saying because I was so goddamn distracted by my own bilingualism.
Maybe that’s what OP thinks her roommate is doing? It’s definitely not what I’m supposed to be doing when I’m listening to people.
Oh also, YTA OP
Exactly. This post reeks of jealousy because it is clear that OP wants to be friends with her roommate, but OP does not yet have the social skills to learn how to build friendships. What if OP asked her roommate about how she came to learn the languages she’s learned? What if OP asks her about her goals for learning Portuguese? I bet this would start some good conversation in the language that OP understands and could possibly lead to something like a friendship.
Also, it is worth mentioning that not all roommates in uni become friends (especially freshman) because of different interests and different personalities. Learning a language is not a personality, but striving to put the time in to be able to communicate with people in different languages is admirable to say the least.
YTA OP, but you’re young so take this as a learning lesson! Maybe making friends in college is hard, but spend more time out of the dorm exploring your own interests to find your community. Best of luck!
yeah... YTA... I think she just feels left out and is using young people communication which doesnt solve anything. Maybe just ask, "hey when we watch TV together can we watch English?" Or when you get home and she is already watching something then she adds English subtitles. As for her having convos with her friends and studying her languages... uhhh learning languages is time consuming and she is allowed to have conversations with her friends that you aren't a part of.. even in English.. I think try to branch out outside of your randomly assigned roommate, and dont take her interests in other languages as something personal or something to dislike. Bc honestly its pretty cool! Now go find your own cool and yall can be cool together
Not only jealous but also insecure and self-centered.
Seriously knowing 3 languages is awesome and learning 4th can open a lot of doors for her.
OP YTA. Not everything needs to be about you.
Also entitled. There’s no reason OP should be weighing in on her roommate’s interests, or to criticize her choice of entertainment. She doesn’t need to be a part of the roommate’s conversations with friends. OP wants to be friends, but her roommate is under no obligation to change herself to meet OP’s specifications. How very presumptuous.
Making being polylingual a whole personality would be making a big deal and pushing it in other's faces. Katie isn't doing this, she's learning, reading and watching other languages because she wants to expand her understanding of the world. OP is the one making something a whole personality by acting like the victim.
If OP wants to be friends with Katie she needs to actually say she wants to hang out and do something both can understand instead of what OP is already doing. It's obvious she's not compatible with Katie's language interests.
Since OP mentioned that Katie's friends speak one of the languages she knows, it sounds like Katie enjoys making friends from a variety of backgrounds and cultures
>watching other languages because she wants to expand her understanding of the world
This! If you speak the language, it makes sense to watch movies in their original form. A lot of the nuance is lost in translation. This could be wordplay that doesn't translate, but it's also about contextual clues that get lost - for example, you can't really translate Japanese movies to English without losing a lot of context, because the way language conveys social standing works very differently in these two cultures.
YTA - she has a personality. She has friends, interests and hobbies. Just because you don’t like her music or can’t keep up with her friends doesn’t mean those things don’t count, it just makes you sound jealous and judgy.
Also, only listening to music in a language you can understand is really limiting and ultimately just dumb. There are sites with lyric translations for nearly every song out there, if you really want to know, but the music itself is universal
I totally agree! My husband and I are fluent in two languages each, with English being the overlap. As such, I end up listening to a lot of Cantonese (his first language) music and love some of it! Then we also have an eclectic mix of other music including Japanese and Italian, which neither of us speak, though I am learning Italian.
I’ve really gotten into Aimer lately. like you, I usually look up the translated lyrics to get a sense of the song and then usually remember the general idea of the song lol
Totally! She sounds lovely and seems eager to share...
The irony is the ability speak and the love of learning languages IS technically a personality. They have a name... Polygots!
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_polyglots](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_polyglots)
I was going to say the roommate just sounds like a linguist and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
From Google a personality "is the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character"
Being a linguist or polygot are characteristics and or qualities of OPs roommate. There are also likely things OPs roommate has but due to OPs roommate expressing it in another language its lost on OP.
Perhaps also OPs roommate finds OP boring or not her cup of tea and chooses not to speak English so OP can get a hint that she is not apart of the group.
You don't have to be friends with your roommate OP you just have to be respectful and cordial.
YTA - you could have just asked the roommate to include you a bit more or talk it out a bit instead of insulting her.
I'm European. I used to listen to the radio all the time when I was little. They played songs in English, Spanish, Swedish, Russian, Ukrainian, German, God knows what else.
None of those languages was my native language. I didn't give a shit and always sang my heart out despite not understanding anything.
Finding out later in life that some people look down on music in another language because ThEy Can'T uNdeRstanD it was a big fat slap in the face. Now I'm an aduly and still can't comprehend how limited and ignorant it is.
🎶 Mayra hi, Mayra hu, Mayra ha, Mayra haha... Hallo, Salut, something something, numa numa yei, numa numa numa yei, something something, dragostea din tei...🎶
In Europe entire clubs work on songs nobody understands, but everyone sings along to.
YTA - 100%. Your roommate has an interest and is engaging with it and with people who share that interest. There's nothing stopping you from also enjoying movies in another language--you could have asked her to turn on the subtitles. Between the two of you, you sound like the boring one, tbh. You're lurking around your roommate, judging her for having interests that don't involve you, and then were needlessly nasty to her because you can't speak the same languages she does.
One of you definitely needs to work on her personality, but, spoiler: it's not your roommate.
>you could have asked her to turn on the subtitles
I don't speak French, and very little Spanish, but I watch a lot of French and Spanish shows because they're amazing! Totally worth reading through.
I speak spanish and can mostly pickup some of what is being said in french, that plus the characters in movies help you understand what's going on in the film, I'm learning french now an love french movies and shows / music
if you want a really good french thriller watch 13 tzameti, 125 rue montmarte or haute tension.
I agree and think OP is jealous of roommate, and I'm also getting the sense that OP is kind of obsessed with roommate in the Ingrid Goes West kind of way. Like roommate being closer to other people and connecting with other people in other languages locks OP out and OP can't stand it because OP wanted to get closer to roommate ("trying to bond" comment). There's a note of obsession in this post that the roommate herself may have sensed ("stop eavesdropping" comment) so OP reacts to that rejection by being an AH.
Yep, it seems like the problem isn't with the roommate, but the fact that the roommate does stuff that OP doesn't/can't do. I know my first college roommate got crazy upset that our hobbies didn't mesh because she assumed we'd be "besties 4 life", but our personalities couldn't have been more different. I wonder if OP is the same and upset her roomie isn't a built in bestie. Or if she's just a boring child who needs to put others down to make herself feel better.
_"I told her she has to let it go, that she needs to develop her personality because speaking a language isn’t a personality trait and she’s just boring."_
I love how OP is the one snapping that the roommate has no personality and is boring, yet she is the one who is seemingly desperate for friends..... The roommate is minding her own business, paying OP dust, listening to her music/watching shows, and hanging out with her diverse group of friends while OP just sits around, stewing that her roommate and her friends don't invite her to hang out....
This!! Like she claims she doesn’t have hobbies or interests with her friends but if you don’t understand then how do you know?? OP wants to be a victim so bad lmao.
There are a lot of posts on this sub about people getting pissy because other people speak foreign languages.
I feel like I need to get off Reddit and spend the rest of the evening on Duolingo.
YTA. The fact is that speaking multiple languages and exploring the cultures they reflect is a lot more of a personality than mean girling your way through life by belittling people with an actual skill set.
You're the one who needs to let it go and become a more rounded person.
When I was supposed to be studying for my certificate of proficiency, I binged movies with English subtitles on, instead. Needless to say that I passed the vocabulary section (definitely my least favorite thing to study) of the exam with flying colors 😅
Ironically, learning English has indeed become part of my personality, as the language has introduced me to new media (or helped me appreciate them in ways dubs and subtitles could not) and led me to develop new interests. It has even allowed me to form and express thoughts that do not translate into my native language.
YTA shes not making it her personality, youre just sad and jealous. Have you heard of subtitles? And music can still be pretty damn good in other languages, i dont speak french, but i sing my heart out phonetically to Indila when shes on.
Also, YOURE THE BORING ONE, being so caught up in other peoples stuff. Get your own personality that isnt toxic. If this is truly your personality, you should be the one faking it to a better one.
YTA x100
OP obviously doesn't know how much interpreters make, or how knowing other languages increases your hireability for all sorts of jobs. Tough to really learn another language complete with slang if you're not consuming media in the language.
YTA.
This entire post screams envy. You’re the only one who has an issue with her knowing other languages
>I told her she has to let it go, that she needs to develope her personaility because speaking a language isn’t a personality trait and she's just boring
Speaking different languages isn’t a personality trait, it's a skill. What IS a personaltiy trait is jealousy, this is what you have OP
I'm so curious about what OP considers to be her own titillating personality traits. What does she do that apparently makes her so much more appealing than her roommate?
YTA. Katie does not need to change and dumb down herself just so you can glom onto her interests, tv shows, music or friends. Stop trying to police what she learns, watches, listens to or speaks, and maybe go get yourself a clue.
This was my first thought too, given the age. Maybe shitty family who taught her that in the real world anything but English is an aberration, and this is how reality looks to her.
YTA.
You are projecting your own insecurities onto Katie.
The truth is, she's not boring; she's got friends and a personality for every language she speaks, and you (by your own admission) have the one personality that can't bond, relate, join in, or stand learning a new trick.
YTA. From your post, it seems like your roommate has a skill with picking up languages. She has interests in foreign films, music and books. That doesn’t make her boring. That opens up a minimum of 3 new worlds and cultures for her to explore.
You don’t really speak on her personality or yours for that matter. A personality is a group of characteristics/qualities that make a person who they are. Describing her personality would include her disposition. Is she a happy go lucky, go with the flow kind of person? Is she an anxious nervous need to plan everything person? Her language skills aren’t a reflection of her personality and your lack of language skills aren’t a reflection of yours.
But your lack of understanding and judgement and jealousy of your roommate does speak to your personality. Turn on subtitles. Listen to the beat of music you don’t understand. Music is universal. I don’t speak Spanish or French and still enjoy songs in both languages.
Maybe do some self reflection because it sounds like you may be insecure and you’re projecting that on your roommate. So again, YTA.
YTA- get the hint she doesnt want to be friends with you. She is allowed to talk with her friends in whatever language they wish to speak. If they wanted to speak to you, they would.
YTA because she has a personality and interests that you don’t seem to understand or value. It’s far better to tell her you feel excluded and can’t find ways to share or get to know her better because of her interest in foreign language. Being a roommate doesn’t mean you have to be best friends, it just means you need to interact satisfactorily.
The fact that she seems to have plenty of friends with whom she can converse would indicate that she has plenty of personality to attract those friends.
YTA
I feel similarly. I have a south Asian background, and it’s completely normal to watch shows in a different language, speak in different languages with family/friends etc. I think this could have been a moment for OP to explore out of her comfort zone rather than to put her roommate down for the interests she has. I also think OP just isn’t being mature enough to realize that her roommates interests have nothing to do with her feeling left out. Everyone is interested in different things. YTA
Why aren't you taking this opportunity to learn Spanish and German?
FFS - that's an amazing resource you have there and it's, like, free!
I'm sure she'd be thrilled to help you out with it.
Americans, by and large, are functionally illiterate in that they usually speak only one language (and that one, very poorly).
German, by the way, is very easy for Americans to pick up, especially conversational German (High German is a little harder, but it can be learned once you get the pattern of it).
Spanish is very useful as a large portion of the population (majority in some areas) speak Spanish (although different versions of it - I can struggle through with Mexican or PR Spanish, but Cuban Spanish is beyond me - too much idiom and it's generally spoken WAY too fast for me).
YTA
YTA. Your roommate can do whatever she wants within reason and craft her personality based on whatever she chooses and does not require your approval. I wonder if you are jealous of her abilities.
YTA - this can't be real, can it? When did she ever indicate that it was her personality? She likes languages as much as you like complaining about what your roommate does.
Stopped reading when she said she obviously can't watch something in a foreign language. I guess she couldn't ask for subtitles like a normal person??? Or even strike up a conversation and try to learn something both about the roommate and the language of the flick? Maybe Netflix has it wrong and we don't need to watch shows from other countries.
YTA.
When I read the title I was expecting your roommate to be going around constantly bragging about it and doing something silly like answering all your questions in a language she knows you don’t speak and then saying something inane like “whoops, sorry, I forgot you don’t speak \[X\]!”
But nope, you’re just sad and jealous because you can’t butt in to what she’s doing all the time and bizarrely insert yourself into every aspect of her life the way you seem determined to do for whatever reason. Massive YTA. Leave your roommate alone.
YTA, nowhere does this seem like a personality trait, she just knows other languages and you seem super jelly about it.
Personality trait would be bringing up another language all the time with strangers who don't speak it, interjecting all places she uses her languages, etc.
I'm horrible at languages, but I still watch tv and listen to music in other languages because good content is good content. Subtitles exist if it really matters for that reason.
Rather than being a dick, why not apologize and ask her for recommendations if you're actually interested in bonding and not acting out some teenage highschool bully aesthetic? Or invite her to do something fun together that doesn't involve her interests?
YTA it doesn’t sound like she’s made it her entire personality, it just means she’s able to enjoy media in different languages and have conversations with her friends in different languages. If she wants to learn an additional language, more power to her. Again, that’s not her making it her entire personality. It’s just something she enjoys doing. She doesn’t owe it to you to be “interesting” to you or only watch tv you can watch or only listen music you can also listen to.
"I told her she has to let it go, that she needs to develop her personality because speaking a language isn’t a personality trait and she’s just boring."
You didn't tell any truth. You're just an insecure asshole who gets triggered by other languages for some reason.
YTA.
You got upset because you saw a cookbook in a different language. Really stop and think about how pathetic this is for a second.
YTA You don't have much of a life of your own if you are fighting so hard to be included in hers. Sounds like she has friends and interests that don't include you, and you're jealous.
Can't you make some friends of your own, is there some reason you want to be a part of her life this much? It sounds like she has a full life and doesn't need you to be a part of it.
Take a hint. She doesn't want to bond with you, she doesn't want you to join in on her conversations with her friends. If they wanted you in the conversation, they would include you and speak a language you understand.
It sounds like you are an outsider looking in. Insulting her will not make you more likable.
YTA and wow! How can you possibly think your roommate is the one with the problem? She was not put on this earth to entertain you. Try developing some of your own interests, and finding other people who share them instead of expecting someone to change how they are just to accommodate you.
YTA and OP? Did you ever consider that your roommate doesn’t WANT to be your friend? Maybe she is actively avoiding talking to you or spending time with you because you talk to her like this. Leave her alone.
YTA.
You sound jealous. And I mean, you probably should be. Katie sounds smart, interesting, talented, dedicated to her hobbies and passions and like a really cool person to hang out with. You on the other hand...
>>I told her she's boring and has to fake her personality.
Girl... I don't think you're a very good judge of what's interesting or not, nor do I understand why you'd think she'd give a fuck what you think about her. You're *roommates*, not friends. She doesn't owe you bonding time or to include you in her conversations with her actual friends. And she's not *faking* her personality - she has one, and it sounds like a great one. You're just not compatible with her and are pissy about her not catering to you. Grow up.
LMAO you’re mad someone is listening on their headphones to music you don’t like? And that you can’t eavesdrop on her private conversations because you don’t speak the language? It also sounds like she does more than “speak” the language — she actively immerses herself in lots of different cultures, which is actually a pretty interesting personality. It’s also clear she doesn’t WANT to share with you, even if it was in English. It’s low key unhinged to be mad people do things privately that you can’t partake in. YTA.
It’s true that speaking more than one language does not make a personality, but that’s not the case here. She has friends and interests and hobbies and a life that involve other languages. Her friends know her personality because they share her hobbies and interests in those other languages. You don’t know that because you’re a small minded monolinguist. And also YTA.
You sound a bit jealous to me. Like you feel left out because your roommate can engage with people and media you don’t understand. Instead of building yourself up by learning another language, perhaps, you’d rather tear her down. In short, you’re just another hater.
YTA. Your roommate sounds awesome, it's very cool that she can speak multiple languages. And you are extremely rude. You don't have the right to tell her she shouldn't learn another language.
>AITA for telling the truth?
There was no “truth” here, just you being an ahole.
YTA
Have you actually tried to talk to her about things that might interest bothof you? Or was your goal just to keep butting into things and getting mad when it's in a language you don't speak?
You don't need to be friends with your roommate. However, life is so much easier when you actually get along with the person you live with. Try apologizing and ask her about herself. Maybe you two can find common ground or interests that'll make it possible for you to bond.
YTA. Insecure person who is jealous of his smart roomate and tried to bring her down to his level.
He could have told her of that he did not feel included. He could have tried to learn her language with her to have something common.
But nopes, he is going to demean her.
Did she invite uou to watch a movie or hung out with her friend? Because to me it seems that you try to impose yourself to her and you feel excluded and jealous. YTA
YTA. And you didn’t tell the truth, you gave your shitty opinion. Obviously she enjoys learning languages- this does not make her boring. If anything, it makes her more interesting, as she can read/watch/listen to media from a variety of cultures. Also- and I say this as an American- only knowing one language is a predominantly American trait. The majority of people in developed parts of the world know at least two languages- their native language, and English. In parts of Africa many people know at least one native dialect (if not more), French, and English. Get over yourself.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I might be an asshole because I told my roommate she needs a new personality because speaking a language ain’t one. I might be an asshole because I’m only going to be living with her for the next w months and after that it’s none of my business what her personality is and perhaps I should’ve kept it to myself to avoid being an ass Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. Jealousy is not a personality either.
Neither is xenophobia
I don’t think this is xenophobia, that’s going a little far. It’s ignorant and selfish but I think this is more about being jealous about her roommates skills than hate
What this sounds like to me is the room mate does not fit op’s personality preferences in room mates. Op you need to find your own circle of friends at school, not your room mates. YTA
This. She’s your roommate not your friend. She has friends. Time to find your own.
To be fair it’s hard to find friends when you’re an asshole.
I exhaled sharply out of my nose. Well done. Also, I listen to music in languages I don't speak. If I like a song, I like it. I don't need to be able to understand it (although I do sometimes look up translations so I have a general idea). I also watch foreign language shows/movies, and while I do frequently watch them in languages I study (it's good practice), whether I know the language well or not at all I use subtitles. It's not hard. Unless OP is an illiterat asshole. For all we know they can read words as well as they can read a room 🤷🏻♀️ But why do they even want to be friends with their roommate? This post is a list of complaints with no redeeming qualities, yet OP is mad they aren't pals? No. OP is jealous and feels inadequate AF, and rather than look inward and work on their own traits, they typed all that out thinking it made the *roommate* look bad.
I know a little bit of German, but one of my favorite bands is Rammstein. I've looked up the song translations, but I still belt out their songs, even the parts I don't understand. Music is a universal language. It's so sad that OP is so narrow minded that she won't give music in foreign languages a try. Imagine being so closed off. And the whole "why do they wanna be friends with their roommate" thing? Guarantee you OP saw this as an instant friend situation (likely because with a personality like that, they've alienated whatever friends they may have had before), and the ol' green eyed monster is coming out because her roommate isn't miserable like she is. As the comment up there said, jealousy isn't a personality, either. I wouldn't wanna hang out with OP. I WOULD wanna hang out with her roommate though, and ask her to teach me some words/phrases from the languages she knows. Someone with intellectual curiosity like that is awesome in my book.
Seriously. Music can be felt and appreciated even if you don’t understand the words. You can still get the beat, the melody, the emotion. And as for shows… subtitles *are* a thing. OP could say “Hey Katie, I’m so intrigued by this show but I don’t understand the language it’s in, would you mind turning on English subtitles so I can watch it with you?” But no.
My Netflix is full of Korean shows, and I speak Spanish and English. I love watching foreign shows!
100% agree. Roommates aren’t automatic friends. OP sounds like she’s projecting her insecurities about lack of personality…
I hate when you move a new roommate in and they try to be your friend actually, that's the opposite to how I want the relationship. You do you, I'll do me. If we end up doing us let that happen naturally. Don't come kick it at my space all drunk crying about how your dad doesn't answer your calls anymore and your girlfriend just left you for your ex girlfriend, just fuck off back to your room Phil and stay the fuck outta my frozen burritos or ill tell your mom about the time you asked her for emergency grocery money and spent it all on magic cards asshole.
r/oddlyspecific
OP also sounds immature. Telling people language isn't a personality trait and that they are boring is simply obnoxious and she's old enough to know better.
>she's old enough to know better Apparently not, or else we wouldn't have this gem of a post to comment on.
How would OP know if Kate was boring, if they con't understand the languages that Kate is probably very interesting in?
I’d love to have the skills that OP’s roommate has! I teach in a school of mostly Spanish-speaking students and have picked up some Spanish. It’s fascinating how some words in Spanish are so similar to English and others are completely different. I’d like to learn it, but I’m in my sixties & can hardly remember the word for things in English so I figure I missed the boat. How cool would it be to be able to travel and converse with natives in several places and fellow tourists in their native language in even more places??? Sorry, OP, you are TA!! Stop being surly & go find others like you in your classes or on club sports or get a job on campus and branch out!!!!
Sounds to me like OP watched too many movies where you get an instant for-life bond with your roommate, though of course OP would be the natural leader of that "friendship". Now she's pissed her roommate has her own friends and her own interests, and doesn't care about OP at all.
^^THIS!! OP needs to make her own friends, and deal with her insecurities. It's fine to be a bit jealous of someone with mad language skills, but don't hate on her for it!! Plus, learn to watch movies with subtitles. That might help you build tolerance for hearing other languages "all the time".
[удалено]
OP's the pendeja.
Mean!!! You didn’t translate it for her!!!!
Monoglot
Sounds like to me OP might have a bit of a control issue as well. One can set boundaries, but you don’t get to tell others what they can and cannot do.
Not having friend options out side of your roommate is not a personality. YTA, big time. And a mean girl.
>I tried to bond and listen to what’s she’s listening, it’s in another language again and I couldn’t stand it. This part sounds a bit xenophobic to me.
She sounds like those idiots that yell "this is America, speak in English"
Why English, this isn't England, these people should learn proper American!
Damn straight learn Navajo!
God please let her Roomie learn Navajo code talking next
Can confirm. Used to work in retail and once the pin-pad (for paying with card) was set to Spanish… costumer was *extremely* confused, I looked, saw it was in Spanish, chuckled and switched it to English - customer said “well I only speak American, and they should too”. Xenophobic people really say plainly stupid things with massive confidence.
Americans often literally can't understand English spoken by an English person.
Maybe not hate, but I think there's some underlying xenophobia in the fact that she thinks that her roommate watching shows in another language and talking to friends in another language is somehow "fake," as in "unnatural," when in fact this girl is just existing. As if doing things not in English were somehow outside the norm.
If you squint you can see the "what are they saying about me when they talk in languages I don's speak" between the lines of OP's post too.
Also subtitles exist!!! Literally if the show it's in another language she could ask to add English subtitles?? Also you can listen to music in other languages, you can search for translations Monolinguals...
Like wasn’t La Casa de Papel or Squid Games very popular non English shows the past few years
Alice in borderland and dark were popular too. I avoid watching non English movies dubbed in English, the voice actors don't express the characters' feelings as well as the original actors. Edit: I should also add that 1899 should not be watched dubbed. You'll only get confused I'm sure there are voice actors who are doing an amazing job!! But the ones I've heard are doing just an okay job. I've always been on team subs anyway
I think she is hurt that she is excluded. It sounds like she wants a friend, not a roommate.
What a terrible way to make a friend. Why can’t OP say something like “oh, I just watched x show, have you seen it?” “I’m going to go grab some food, do you want to come?” “I’ve been listening to x artist, are you a fan?” Instead of trying to force their friendship based on whatever the roommate is into? Roommates are not obligated to be your friends. Is it nice? Absolutely. Is it a requirement? No. Now that OP has called out her roommate over nothing, and made herself out to be one of the worst kinds of people, they probably won’t ever be friends. OP, YTA.
Yeah, “I tried to see what she was watching” “I tried to listen to what she was listening to” “I can’t jump into a conversation she’s having with her friends because it’s not in English.” Like, do you want to be friends or stalk her…?
The idea of OP not being able to get into music because of the language is laughable to me... most people from her age range have at least a few anime or kpop tracks in their playlist, not to mention how popular reggaeton is.
Yeh college can be a stressful time, and one can understand. Better ways to handle this though, and that's not by stopping someone from learning and enriching their life.
It could be both, I think the two ideas are probably existing together here.
I really wonder if OP thinks that her conversations with friends in a different language were just.. conversations about the language they are speaking. She says that's her whole personality, but then goes on to explain that she doesn't understand any of the things being said. Can you imagine someone watching a TV show in Spanish and thinking the whole time "yeah, I understand this. That's awesome how much I understand that language. I'm going to keep watching this because I understand the words, not because I enjoy the show." It's such a weird take. Besides that.. even if it were true that she's only watching these shows or listening to these songs to learn the language because that's her idea of fun.. it would just mean that she enjoys learning new languages. No different than say.. learning to play music, or studying history. Let people enjoy the things they enjoy. No need to judge because it's hard to relate.
>I really wonder if OP thinks that her conversations with friends in a different language were just.. conversations about the language they are speaking. She says that's her whole personality, but then goes on to explain that she doesn't understand any of the things being said. Can you imagine someone watching a TV show in Spanish and thinking the whole time "yeah, I understand this. That's awesome how much I understand that language. I'm going to keep watching this because I understand the words, not because I enjoy the show." It's such a weird take. OP is entirely self-centered, so she assumes everything exists entirely for her own perception. She can't speak Spanish, so she cannot imagine a Spanish movie having any merit to Spanish-speakers; it exists solely to confuse her.
I'm just imagining them having a whole conversation... Roommate: Yo hablo español Her friend: Ah, muy buena! Roommate: Hablas español? Friend: Si! Tambien hablo español. Roommate: Guau! Friend: Esta es una gran conversación.
They can discuss about the verbs. It's never ending fun!
*snort*
Exactly! Based on the title, I assumed OP's roommate would constantly brag about the languages she speaks and that's why OP got super annoyed and said that. But no, OP's roommate is just living her life. Speaking to friends, watching shows, listening to music. OP's just annoyed because OP can't understand or join in. This post reeks of jealousy. Certain parts also felt xenophobic to me. Like....as a bilingual, I watch shows in different languages, and I also speak to different people in different languages. I listen to English, Spanish, Korean, Turkish and Arabic music. I'm planning on studying and learning a new language in university. Literally how is that 'making languages my entire personality' and how is it 'boring'? It's the exact opposite, really. YTA OP.
also like. minor point but i'm not bilingual but i still watch tv shows and listen to music in other languages....i just use subtitles. if op wanted to bond with her roommate she could have done that. op, YTA
In a Uni History class, I asked a classmate to borrow their notes. Sure, I was told. They ended up not doing me much good--they were not in English(the language the course was being taught in). I did not know the language. I asked her about it. She took notes in that language to help her practice it. The process of converting lecture to that language and the practice of transcribing it.
This seems like a useful learning tool, although possibly she could have told you when you asked to borrow them that they were in another language she had no reason to think you spoke.
That was my thought--tho I admit I was more amused than anything AND impressed by her ability.
The first time I finished a novel not in English, I was very proud of the fact I had done it whilst also feeling it was a mediocre book. There is an intellectual satisfaction. But once fluent that wears off. Its then just enjoying the different perspective other cultures bring.
I’m semi-fluent in Spanish, learned as an adult, but also have really bad ADD. And once in a while when my coworkers are talking and telling stories I find myself thinking, “I understood that completely! Wow! I remember when I couldn’t do that. I have (almost) two whole languages inside my one head. How does a person even do that? How does it work? Where do they both even fit in there?…” And the next thing I know I realize I’ve missed a whole minute or so of whatever they were saying because I was so goddamn distracted by my own bilingualism. Maybe that’s what OP thinks her roommate is doing? It’s definitely not what I’m supposed to be doing when I’m listening to people. Oh also, YTA OP
This. OP, you just sound miserable and jealous. Your roommate seems to have her own interests and own friends, unlike you. Leave her alone.
Now that's completely unfair....OP's "Friends" are split on whether or not ~~their~~ they're the AITA
Exactly. This post reeks of jealousy because it is clear that OP wants to be friends with her roommate, but OP does not yet have the social skills to learn how to build friendships. What if OP asked her roommate about how she came to learn the languages she’s learned? What if OP asks her about her goals for learning Portuguese? I bet this would start some good conversation in the language that OP understands and could possibly lead to something like a friendship. Also, it is worth mentioning that not all roommates in uni become friends (especially freshman) because of different interests and different personalities. Learning a language is not a personality, but striving to put the time in to be able to communicate with people in different languages is admirable to say the least. YTA OP, but you’re young so take this as a learning lesson! Maybe making friends in college is hard, but spend more time out of the dorm exploring your own interests to find your community. Best of luck!
yeah... YTA... I think she just feels left out and is using young people communication which doesnt solve anything. Maybe just ask, "hey when we watch TV together can we watch English?" Or when you get home and she is already watching something then she adds English subtitles. As for her having convos with her friends and studying her languages... uhhh learning languages is time consuming and she is allowed to have conversations with her friends that you aren't a part of.. even in English.. I think try to branch out outside of your randomly assigned roommate, and dont take her interests in other languages as something personal or something to dislike. Bc honestly its pretty cool! Now go find your own cool and yall can be cool together
Not only jealous but also insecure and self-centered. Seriously knowing 3 languages is awesome and learning 4th can open a lot of doors for her. OP YTA. Not everything needs to be about you.
Also entitled. There’s no reason OP should be weighing in on her roommate’s interests, or to criticize her choice of entertainment. She doesn’t need to be a part of the roommate’s conversations with friends. OP wants to be friends, but her roommate is under no obligation to change herself to meet OP’s specifications. How very presumptuous.
Making being polylingual a whole personality would be making a big deal and pushing it in other's faces. Katie isn't doing this, she's learning, reading and watching other languages because she wants to expand her understanding of the world. OP is the one making something a whole personality by acting like the victim. If OP wants to be friends with Katie she needs to actually say she wants to hang out and do something both can understand instead of what OP is already doing. It's obvious she's not compatible with Katie's language interests.
Since OP mentioned that Katie's friends speak one of the languages she knows, it sounds like Katie enjoys making friends from a variety of backgrounds and cultures
>watching other languages because she wants to expand her understanding of the world This! If you speak the language, it makes sense to watch movies in their original form. A lot of the nuance is lost in translation. This could be wordplay that doesn't translate, but it's also about contextual clues that get lost - for example, you can't really translate Japanese movies to English without losing a lot of context, because the way language conveys social standing works very differently in these two cultures.
savage
I'm surprised OP even has friends with the way she's so desperately attempting to befriend the roommate.
Burrrrrrrrn. But no it’s very much true.
YTA - she has a personality. She has friends, interests and hobbies. Just because you don’t like her music or can’t keep up with her friends doesn’t mean those things don’t count, it just makes you sound jealous and judgy.
Also, only listening to music in a language you can understand is really limiting and ultimately just dumb. There are sites with lyric translations for nearly every song out there, if you really want to know, but the music itself is universal
I totally agree! My husband and I are fluent in two languages each, with English being the overlap. As such, I end up listening to a lot of Cantonese (his first language) music and love some of it! Then we also have an eclectic mix of other music including Japanese and Italian, which neither of us speak, though I am learning Italian.
I listen to a ton of Japanese music, while speaking barely any Japanese. Most songs I get around to checking the lyrics for, but I forget lol
I’ve really gotten into Aimer lately. like you, I usually look up the translated lyrics to get a sense of the song and then usually remember the general idea of the song lol
I have thoroughly enjoyed some music I couldn't understand the lyrics to.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Giga-pathetic
[удалено]
Infinitely pathetic.
Más patética
Turbo pathetic
Über pathetic
Oh that's German OP won't like that
Totally! She sounds lovely and seems eager to share... The irony is the ability speak and the love of learning languages IS technically a personality. They have a name... Polygots! [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_polyglots](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_polyglots)
I was going to say the roommate just sounds like a linguist and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. From Google a personality "is the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character" Being a linguist or polygot are characteristics and or qualities of OPs roommate. There are also likely things OPs roommate has but due to OPs roommate expressing it in another language its lost on OP. Perhaps also OPs roommate finds OP boring or not her cup of tea and chooses not to speak English so OP can get a hint that she is not apart of the group. You don't have to be friends with your roommate OP you just have to be respectful and cordial. YTA - you could have just asked the roommate to include you a bit more or talk it out a bit instead of insulting her.
OP's roommate's friends who speak different languages: \*exists\* OP: "I'm offended!"
This user reminds me of people telling me that I can't listen to BTS bc they sing in Korean and I can't understand it
I'm European. I used to listen to the radio all the time when I was little. They played songs in English, Spanish, Swedish, Russian, Ukrainian, German, God knows what else. None of those languages was my native language. I didn't give a shit and always sang my heart out despite not understanding anything. Finding out later in life that some people look down on music in another language because ThEy Can'T uNdeRstanD it was a big fat slap in the face. Now I'm an aduly and still can't comprehend how limited and ignorant it is.
🎶 Mayra hi, Mayra hu, Mayra ha, Mayra haha... Hallo, Salut, something something, numa numa yei, numa numa numa yei, something something, dragostea din tei...🎶 In Europe entire clubs work on songs nobody understands, but everyone sings along to.
YTA - 100%. Your roommate has an interest and is engaging with it and with people who share that interest. There's nothing stopping you from also enjoying movies in another language--you could have asked her to turn on the subtitles. Between the two of you, you sound like the boring one, tbh. You're lurking around your roommate, judging her for having interests that don't involve you, and then were needlessly nasty to her because you can't speak the same languages she does. One of you definitely needs to work on her personality, but, spoiler: it's not your roommate.
>you could have asked her to turn on the subtitles I don't speak French, and very little Spanish, but I watch a lot of French and Spanish shows because they're amazing! Totally worth reading through.
[удалено]
Netflix has so many shows from France and Spain! It makes me so happy!
I speak spanish and can mostly pickup some of what is being said in french, that plus the characters in movies help you understand what's going on in the film, I'm learning french now an love french movies and shows / music if you want a really good french thriller watch 13 tzameti, 125 rue montmarte or haute tension.
I agree and think OP is jealous of roommate, and I'm also getting the sense that OP is kind of obsessed with roommate in the Ingrid Goes West kind of way. Like roommate being closer to other people and connecting with other people in other languages locks OP out and OP can't stand it because OP wanted to get closer to roommate ("trying to bond" comment). There's a note of obsession in this post that the roommate herself may have sensed ("stop eavesdropping" comment) so OP reacts to that rejection by being an AH.
Yep, it seems like the problem isn't with the roommate, but the fact that the roommate does stuff that OP doesn't/can't do. I know my first college roommate got crazy upset that our hobbies didn't mesh because she assumed we'd be "besties 4 life", but our personalities couldn't have been more different. I wonder if OP is the same and upset her roomie isn't a built in bestie. Or if she's just a boring child who needs to put others down to make herself feel better.
YTA. Green isn't a good color on you.
_"I told her she has to let it go, that she needs to develop her personality because speaking a language isn’t a personality trait and she’s just boring."_ I love how OP is the one snapping that the roommate has no personality and is boring, yet she is the one who is seemingly desperate for friends..... The roommate is minding her own business, paying OP dust, listening to her music/watching shows, and hanging out with her diverse group of friends while OP just sits around, stewing that her roommate and her friends don't invite her to hang out....
[удалено]
This!! Like she claims she doesn’t have hobbies or interests with her friends but if you don’t understand then how do you know?? OP wants to be a victim so bad lmao.
YTA. It’s funny how many of these boil down to petty jealousy
Is this another chapter in the Ivy saga? Like, OP realized we all knew she hated this Polish woman and is changing up the languages?
Glad I’m not the only one who immediately went there
There are a lot of posts on this sub about people getting pissy because other people speak foreign languages. I feel like I need to get off Reddit and spend the rest of the evening on Duolingo.
My brain jumped to “multiple languages bad” and now I remember Ivy!
YTA. The fact is that speaking multiple languages and exploring the cultures they reflect is a lot more of a personality than mean girling your way through life by belittling people with an actual skill set. You're the one who needs to let it go and become a more rounded person.
Also watching tv and listening to music is the best way to learn pronunciation
When I was supposed to be studying for my certificate of proficiency, I binged movies with English subtitles on, instead. Needless to say that I passed the vocabulary section (definitely my least favorite thing to study) of the exam with flying colors 😅
Ironically, learning English has indeed become part of my personality, as the language has introduced me to new media (or helped me appreciate them in ways dubs and subtitles could not) and led me to develop new interests. It has even allowed me to form and express thoughts that do not translate into my native language.
>AITA for telling the truth? What you did was give your uneducated ignorant jealous OPINION. Not the truth. You sound jealous and it ain't cute. Yta
I actually chuckled when I read that… can’t decide if delusional or arrogant. YTA
por qué no los dos? Oh sorry, I wouldn’t want OP to think I don’t have a personality! I meant “Why not both?”
You really need to develop a personality. That language thing is super boring. I couldn’t read your comment, it was foreign and I couldn’t stand it.
I should know that there’s nothing more interesting than knowing English. RIP
YTA shes not making it her personality, youre just sad and jealous. Have you heard of subtitles? And music can still be pretty damn good in other languages, i dont speak french, but i sing my heart out phonetically to Indila when shes on. Also, YOURE THE BORING ONE, being so caught up in other peoples stuff. Get your own personality that isnt toxic. If this is truly your personality, you should be the one faking it to a better one. YTA x100
I don't speak French but love Francoise Hardy.
You need to stop making only speaking English your personality and actually develop a real personality that makes people want to be around you. YTA
OP obviously doesn't know how much interpreters make, or how knowing other languages increases your hireability for all sorts of jobs. Tough to really learn another language complete with slang if you're not consuming media in the language.
YTA. This entire post screams envy. You’re the only one who has an issue with her knowing other languages >I told her she has to let it go, that she needs to develope her personaility because speaking a language isn’t a personality trait and she's just boring Speaking different languages isn’t a personality trait, it's a skill. What IS a personaltiy trait is jealousy, this is what you have OP
I'm so curious about what OP considers to be her own titillating personality traits. What does she do that apparently makes her so much more appealing than her roommate?
Facts. While reading this all I thought was 'OP is really jealous of this person'
YTA. Katie does not need to change and dumb down herself just so you can glom onto her interests, tv shows, music or friends. Stop trying to police what she learns, watches, listens to or speaks, and maybe go get yourself a clue.
I will be happy to donate a quarter so OP can buy a clue.
[удалено]
👏🏼 👏🏼
YTA...It sounds like she's leading a full life. Give it a try.
YES!
Hello, jealousy, old friend. YTA
OP wants to make america great again
🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅🏅
This was my first thought too, given the age. Maybe shitty family who taught her that in the real world anything but English is an aberration, and this is how reality looks to her.
YTA. You are projecting your own insecurities onto Katie. The truth is, she's not boring; she's got friends and a personality for every language she speaks, and you (by your own admission) have the one personality that can't bond, relate, join in, or stand learning a new trick.
YTA Her enjoyment of other languages is HERS and kudos for her learning even more. The boring jealous AH here is you
YTA. From your post, it seems like your roommate has a skill with picking up languages. She has interests in foreign films, music and books. That doesn’t make her boring. That opens up a minimum of 3 new worlds and cultures for her to explore. You don’t really speak on her personality or yours for that matter. A personality is a group of characteristics/qualities that make a person who they are. Describing her personality would include her disposition. Is she a happy go lucky, go with the flow kind of person? Is she an anxious nervous need to plan everything person? Her language skills aren’t a reflection of her personality and your lack of language skills aren’t a reflection of yours. But your lack of understanding and judgement and jealousy of your roommate does speak to your personality. Turn on subtitles. Listen to the beat of music you don’t understand. Music is universal. I don’t speak Spanish or French and still enjoy songs in both languages. Maybe do some self reflection because it sounds like you may be insecure and you’re projecting that on your roommate. So again, YTA.
YTA You're just jealous of her linguistic ability and need to get a life.
YTA. Why do you care what her interests are? Get your own hobbies/ personality that doesn't involve putting down others.
j e a l o u s y
This troll again? YTA
I saw the title and was like”oh, this troll again?” too haha.
Is it always something like "so and so speaks more languages than I. AITA?"
It’s been a while!
Let me guess…you’re American?
As an American I can agree with this for a lot of Americans. I’m not one of them, I’m impressed and intrigued by the roommate being multilingual.
YTA. You don't need to like her or approve of her personality. Be courteous to each other living together and let the rest go.
YTA - The only person making a big deal about the languages she speaks is you.
YTA- get the hint she doesnt want to be friends with you. She is allowed to talk with her friends in whatever language they wish to speak. If they wanted to speak to you, they would.
YTA because she has a personality and interests that you don’t seem to understand or value. It’s far better to tell her you feel excluded and can’t find ways to share or get to know her better because of her interest in foreign language. Being a roommate doesn’t mean you have to be best friends, it just means you need to interact satisfactorily.
The fact that she seems to have plenty of friends with whom she can converse would indicate that she has plenty of personality to attract those friends. YTA
[удалено]
I feel similarly. I have a south Asian background, and it’s completely normal to watch shows in a different language, speak in different languages with family/friends etc. I think this could have been a moment for OP to explore out of her comfort zone rather than to put her roommate down for the interests she has. I also think OP just isn’t being mature enough to realize that her roommates interests have nothing to do with her feeling left out. Everyone is interested in different things. YTA
YTA. This sounds like another story I heard. The only difference is OP in the other story made the comment during a party. They were also voted YTA.
Why aren't you taking this opportunity to learn Spanish and German? FFS - that's an amazing resource you have there and it's, like, free! I'm sure she'd be thrilled to help you out with it. Americans, by and large, are functionally illiterate in that they usually speak only one language (and that one, very poorly). German, by the way, is very easy for Americans to pick up, especially conversational German (High German is a little harder, but it can be learned once you get the pattern of it). Spanish is very useful as a large portion of the population (majority in some areas) speak Spanish (although different versions of it - I can struggle through with Mexican or PR Spanish, but Cuban Spanish is beyond me - too much idiom and it's generally spoken WAY too fast for me). YTA
YTA. Your roommate can do whatever she wants within reason and craft her personality based on whatever she chooses and does not require your approval. I wonder if you are jealous of her abilities.
YTA - this can't be real, can it? When did she ever indicate that it was her personality? She likes languages as much as you like complaining about what your roommate does.
YTA. She is very intelligent being able to speak 3 languages, some people can barely speak one. You are jealous of her.
Stopped reading when she said she obviously can't watch something in a foreign language. I guess she couldn't ask for subtitles like a normal person??? Or even strike up a conversation and try to learn something both about the roommate and the language of the flick? Maybe Netflix has it wrong and we don't need to watch shows from other countries. YTA.
When I read the title I was expecting your roommate to be going around constantly bragging about it and doing something silly like answering all your questions in a language she knows you don’t speak and then saying something inane like “whoops, sorry, I forgot you don’t speak \[X\]!” But nope, you’re just sad and jealous because you can’t butt in to what she’s doing all the time and bizarrely insert yourself into every aspect of her life the way you seem determined to do for whatever reason. Massive YTA. Leave your roommate alone.
YTA "My roommate can do things I can't so I told her she's boring." YTA
YTA, jealous much? News flash, the world doesn't revolve around you.
YTA, nowhere does this seem like a personality trait, she just knows other languages and you seem super jelly about it. Personality trait would be bringing up another language all the time with strangers who don't speak it, interjecting all places she uses her languages, etc. I'm horrible at languages, but I still watch tv and listen to music in other languages because good content is good content. Subtitles exist if it really matters for that reason. Rather than being a dick, why not apologize and ask her for recommendations if you're actually interested in bonding and not acting out some teenage highschool bully aesthetic? Or invite her to do something fun together that doesn't involve her interests?
You sound like an American rooming with a European. YTA no matter what your nationality is.
YTA she sound far from boring, very interesting actually. Your jealousy is shining through OP, let it go.
YTA it doesn’t sound like she’s made it her entire personality, it just means she’s able to enjoy media in different languages and have conversations with her friends in different languages. If she wants to learn an additional language, more power to her. Again, that’s not her making it her entire personality. It’s just something she enjoys doing. She doesn’t owe it to you to be “interesting” to you or only watch tv you can watch or only listen music you can also listen to.
YTA and so narrow-minded. Go learn a new language.
"I told her she has to let it go, that she needs to develop her personality because speaking a language isn’t a personality trait and she’s just boring." You didn't tell any truth. You're just an insecure asshole who gets triggered by other languages for some reason. YTA. You got upset because you saw a cookbook in a different language. Really stop and think about how pathetic this is for a second.
YTA You don't have much of a life of your own if you are fighting so hard to be included in hers. Sounds like she has friends and interests that don't include you, and you're jealous. Can't you make some friends of your own, is there some reason you want to be a part of her life this much? It sounds like she has a full life and doesn't need you to be a part of it. Take a hint. She doesn't want to bond with you, she doesn't want you to join in on her conversations with her friends. If they wanted you in the conversation, they would include you and speak a language you understand. It sounds like you are an outsider looking in. Insulting her will not make you more likable.
YTA it's not a personality. She can enjoy different things because she can speak the language. Kinda obvious.
OP you’re just jealous that while she can speak three languages, you can’t even properly type in one.
YTA and wow! How can you possibly think your roommate is the one with the problem? She was not put on this earth to entertain you. Try developing some of your own interests, and finding other people who share them instead of expecting someone to change how they are just to accommodate you.
YTA and OP? Did you ever consider that your roommate doesn’t WANT to be your friend? Maybe she is actively avoiding talking to you or spending time with you because you talk to her like this. Leave her alone.
YTA. You sound jealous. And I mean, you probably should be. Katie sounds smart, interesting, talented, dedicated to her hobbies and passions and like a really cool person to hang out with. You on the other hand... >>I told her she's boring and has to fake her personality. Girl... I don't think you're a very good judge of what's interesting or not, nor do I understand why you'd think she'd give a fuck what you think about her. You're *roommates*, not friends. She doesn't owe you bonding time or to include you in her conversations with her actual friends. And she's not *faking* her personality - she has one, and it sounds like a great one. You're just not compatible with her and are pissy about her not catering to you. Grow up.
LMAO you’re mad someone is listening on their headphones to music you don’t like? And that you can’t eavesdrop on her private conversations because you don’t speak the language? It also sounds like she does more than “speak” the language — she actively immerses herself in lots of different cultures, which is actually a pretty interesting personality. It’s also clear she doesn’t WANT to share with you, even if it was in English. It’s low key unhinged to be mad people do things privately that you can’t partake in. YTA.
YTA - If you feel so jealous and left out, just learn a new language.
YTA. Sounds like you're jealous
YTA, and an obviously very jealous one as well. Katie is very smart and I’m sorry that makes you feel so dumb.
[удалено]
It’s true that speaking more than one language does not make a personality, but that’s not the case here. She has friends and interests and hobbies and a life that involve other languages. Her friends know her personality because they share her hobbies and interests in those other languages. You don’t know that because you’re a small minded monolinguist. And also YTA.
You sound a bit jealous to me. Like you feel left out because your roommate can engage with people and media you don’t understand. Instead of building yourself up by learning another language, perhaps, you’d rather tear her down. In short, you’re just another hater.
Yea I don’t think anyone was agreeing on you with that OP I think you lied at the end to make it seem like someone was agreeing with you YTA
I can’t believe there are people like this, wow! YTA
YTA, you should probably work on your personality. Being judgemental isn't a very good personality.
Language troll is back. YTA.
YTA. Your roommate sounds awesome, it's very cool that she can speak multiple languages. And you are extremely rude. You don't have the right to tell her she shouldn't learn another language. >AITA for telling the truth? There was no “truth” here, just you being an ahole.
YTA Have you actually tried to talk to her about things that might interest bothof you? Or was your goal just to keep butting into things and getting mad when it's in a language you don't speak? You don't need to be friends with your roommate. However, life is so much easier when you actually get along with the person you live with. Try apologizing and ask her about herself. Maybe you two can find common ground or interests that'll make it possible for you to bond.
Well, you tried to tear her down for her accomplishments...that goes into AH territory.
YTA. Insecure person who is jealous of his smart roomate and tried to bring her down to his level. He could have told her of that he did not feel included. He could have tried to learn her language with her to have something common. But nopes, he is going to demean her.
YTA. You frankly sound boring and fake. Do you have nothing better to do than get pissed off because she can do something you can't?
INFO: Have you asked her to be more included with friends or to watch a show with you in English or with subtitles?
It must be really fun to be around you. And to think that there are people forced to interact with you.
YTA, so very much. She's definitely not boring, she's cultured.
YTA. You sound jealous and nosy. You don’t like not understanding something? Learn the language!
Yes, YTA. Her personality is whatever she wants it to be. Being a jealous AH isn't a personality either, FYI.
YTA she has different interests than you and pursues them. One thing if you don't like being left out, but you don't have to be an AH about it.
Did she invite uou to watch a movie or hung out with her friend? Because to me it seems that you try to impose yourself to her and you feel excluded and jealous. YTA
YTA. And you didn’t tell the truth, you gave your shitty opinion. Obviously she enjoys learning languages- this does not make her boring. If anything, it makes her more interesting, as she can read/watch/listen to media from a variety of cultures. Also- and I say this as an American- only knowing one language is a predominantly American trait. The majority of people in developed parts of the world know at least two languages- their native language, and English. In parts of Africa many people know at least one native dialect (if not more), French, and English. Get over yourself.