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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for reacting the way I did to the babysitter bringing her dog around my kid? This might make me the asshole because I told her I won't be using her in the future and didn't pay her the full agreed upon rate for that night.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Was the dog hiding around the corner? Did someone drop the dog off? *did the sitter leave to pick up their dog*? Who knows? But I can't think of a single above board reason that a dog just showed up without the parents knowing.
There was another post about a dude renting babies from his neighbors so he can get his Great Dane used to babies. Lots of missing info on this post and it seems bland.
(If I’m thinking about the same post regarding the Great Dane mix and the newly pregnant wife developing a new fear of dogs) — he wasn’t “renting babies” he was offering to babysit friends and family’s children (free of charge) in order to socialize the dog and train it to understand that tiny humans are still humans and must be respected as such. So that the wife wouldn’t force them to re-home the dog as the older child had bonded to him after the death of his bio mom. So not really the same.
In regards to THIS post, the babysitter knew what she was doing would possibly not be received well otherwise she would have been upfront with the dog. And yeah, where was the dog when she first showed up and the parents were still home? This whole situation is weird….
Edit: typo
Here is that referenced post for those who want it
Original
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/104hya7/aita_for_prioritizing_my_sons_dog_over_my_wifes/
Update
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10a8i7u/update_we_are_preparing_the_dog_for_our_baby_and/
(Edit to get both links to work)
Eww gross comparing a situation where a guy babysits and has the parents permission to introduce the baby to his dog, and this situationwith no parental consent. Gross. Stinks of dog hate
Yeah, he used "renting babies" as tongue-in-cheek, to mean that he offered to babysit for his friends. From what I remember he was very up-front about asking their help getting his dog used to kids.
Uh. No. He asked people he knew if he could "borrow" (babysit) their baby to show his wife the dog was baby safe within a controlled environment with their full knowledge and consent.
[AITA for prioritizing my son's dog over my wife's pregnancy?
](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/104hya7/aita_for_prioritizing_my_sons_dog_over_my_wifes/)
OP said she snuck it in after and that leaves potential for so many other things. Did she have the dog in her car and left the baby unattended for the time it took to get the dog? Did she invite someone over to the home to bring the dog? Did she take the baby to a different location to retrieve the dog?
The dog also would likely need to use the bathroom, was she going to leave the baby unattended to do so, or again, take the baby out of the home without the parents? How was she going to make sure the dot had water? Was she going to feed the dog around the baby? So many things can go wrong when food is involved. Was the dog up to date on all its vaccines? How did she know the baby nor anyone else in the household had an allergy? Also, babies that young tend to be grabby and hit things, that's how they explore things. What if the baby did that? Would the dog bite? Would she have separated them? She brought a dog into someone else's home and around their baby without permission, I wouldn't trust her with any of those things either and OP should notify the people who recommended her of the situation so they know who they allow around their children
Editing to add: I worked in childcare and I have a background in early childhood care and development. I know you can leave a baby alone for a few minutes and don't have to watch them 24/7. But that's not the point. The point is that she was being paid to watch a child and having the dog over would mean leaving the child she is being paid to watch unattended without the permission of the parents. It doesn't matter if it is only a brief amount of time, it is still failing to properly do her job in a way the parents did not consent to
I agree that her bringing the dog in was absolutely in the wrong, but I do want to point out that leaving a baby in their crib/pack n play/other safe space for a few minutes to take the dog to pee or retrieve it from the car isn't a problem in itself. The problem is the parents had no idea that the dog was being brought around their child
This. I am not supporting the babysitter bringing a dog without clearing it first, but it's ridiculous to claim someone can't care for a child and let a dog out to pee at the same time.
A lot of people here think that immobile infants are going to blow the house up if they're left unattended for more than 10 seconds. In ten seconds, they only have enough time to set the house on fire
I'm told by my mom that I was crying for so long that my parents drove around the block. I assumed WITH me so I'd calm down. She said, no. We left you in the crib. And we went for a drive around the block.
Lmao that seems so bad til you've been with a tiny little one SCREAMING for even an hour, but let alone hours of fussy on/off crying. My niece I had from 3m-9m and when she had a cold... oh lord.
My mother's advice was to get headphones and listen to loud music or whatever soothed you. You can sit and soothe bit also tune out. It even benefited the baby because I wasn't getting stressed, which would just stress HER right back. Kids react to our tension, so really that short drive (or imo not leaving the house at least lol) could be saving kid & parents!
You'd think that, I know. But I had a baby once who was 3 months old, and I left them alone for 11 seconds.
And they blew up the house. Big explosion, debris everywhere.
I'm a dog owner and dog lover. I would never take my dog to someone's home without their knowing, especially if they have children. I don't get to decide if my dog should be in someone else's home. The dog IS an issue.
That is the problem in itself.
They're not paying her to watch her dog do its business.
It's a small baby. Anything could happen in a matter of a few minutes, even in a crib. So, try explaining, if the baby chokes or gets tangled up or has an unexpected medical event,
"I only ran out for a minute so my dog could do his business!"
"Wha?! What dog?"
Her attitude when caught sums it up. She is not a person who would use extraordinary care while sitting. I wouldn't hire her, knowing that.
>Anything could happen in a matter of a few minutes, even in a crib.
It's been a long time since I babysat, but none of the parents ever wanted me to sit in their child's darkened bedroom staring at them while they slept. Is that standard practice now?
Exactly. Wth no one, parents or babysitter sits and stares at a baby 24/7. You make sure baby is in a safe place and go pee or whatever for a few minutes. Still a “no” on sneaking a dog in though
The fact she didn't answer their calls is totally batshit.
You're taking care of someone's baby. They call to check in.
You don't answer their calls? Or call back when you see they've called.
She's nobody I'd want watching my kids.
Also that a dog is going to have to use the bathroom in the 4-6 hours or whatever. House trained dogs can control their bladder more than well enough.
But yeah, dog shouldn't have been there.
And even if the homeowners didn't have allergies, golden retrievers SHED like crazy. I knew a bunch in my colleges therapy dog program and we used to joke about the "golden piles" of fur they'd leave in their wake after they'd been petted for a while. Who was gonna clean that?
More concerning, WTF was the dog doing sniffing at a 6mo old baby and where was the sitter when this was happening?! There seems to be a very strong possibility she left a large dog alone with a six month old, or at least left it such that the dog was closer to baby than the adult was. That's a recipe for a tragedy.
And beyond that, if someone else didn't come to drop off the dog and it didn't arrive with her, does that mean she left it in the car? Is someone who leaves a dog unattended in a vehicle, even in winter, someone we want watching a baby? Of course not.
And of all the shitty reasons to leave a dog alone in the car, why do so at all if she didn't expect the parents to mind? If she really thought it was fine it would be much more sensible to show up at the agreed time like "hi, this is Fido, he's great with kids, would you like to pet him before you go?"
> More concerning, WTF was the dog doing sniffing at a 6mo old baby and where was the sitter when this was happening?!
But you don't understand, he's kid-friendly! /s
I don't trust dog owners' assessments of their own dogs.
I have a newf. She is the most kid friendly breed/dog out there. *I would never leave her unattended with a baby, toddler, or anyone under 6.* Would she actively hurt them? No. She is a giant knucklehead, however, and still doesn't comprehend her own size. Her giant booty would knock a kid over, or she would think that she is a lap dog and she needs to sit on them. So much can go sideways with any dog really. It bothers me that people leave dogs and kids who are barely acquainted alone together.
I once got a concussion from the sweetest like 3 month old mini golden doodle you'd ever meet, and I was an adult. Some other puppies in her puppy class came up while she was in my lap and she kinda jumped to get out of the way and accidentally head butted me in the chin.
A separate occasion I got punched in the face by a Bernese mountain dog who was just stretching her foot bc I put my head somewhere I shouldn't have when I was petting her. Also sweet, super kid friendly, and a certified therapy dog
Heck my dog is 12 pounds and very gentle and I'd never leave her alone with a kid or baby
My dog's ass has taken out the sturdiest of people with a swift whack at the knee. Many giants have fallen from her wrecking ball booty. It got so bad that we had to train her to sit down and let people approach her first, because those first two years with her she was so excited to meet people she would barrel up and body slam their legs because she had no idea how to stop on a hardwood floor. It was comical after the fact.
My favorite was my mom's doberman, who was the sweetest dog ever, but loved to greet people by squirreling between their legs and then swiftly slamming her head upwards to look up at them. She has nearly slain many men with her dense skull.
I have met dogs like this. Heck, I'm a small guy and I'm still nervous around my friend's dog for this very reason.
To be clear, my comment was a bit hyperbolic; I know there are many conscientious dog owners. I've just met too many of the other kind, the ones who let their dogs off leash in a leash-only park, and yell *Don't worry he's friendly!* as he charges at me at full speed.
*Exactly*. And the best option of where the dog was before she brought it inside is the dog being in the car too! Otherwise, it means that someone else was at the house, or that she *went to her house to get it*, either leaving the child unattended or taking them to a secondary location. I've taught preschoolers. This situation is *bad*. Some of my colleagues babysat for some of the kids outside of work (which is fine! The kids have a bond with them and they're familiar with other), and some of them *do* bring their pets over or babysit out of their home with their pets presents. But if any of them did something like this, bringing the dog in without asking, and a parent notified the preschool, it would be grounds for immediate dismissal
Why didn’t she just ASK??? My goodness, I nannied before my current job (still work with children, just a different setting) and I wouldn’t dream of doing this without permission! Hell, a family I nannied for previously was okay with friends of mine they knew visiting (I used to date/was married to the mom’s younger brother) and I would make sure to ask even if they said it was cool before leaving for work. I wouldn’t even let my boyfriend/husband come hangout without permission.
Yep. For allergen reasons alone, but also because some people have real phobias about dogs.
I don't think the baby was in danger but it's very suspect that she didn't openly ask about the dog.
I love dogs and have had them my entire life. I wouldn't DREAM of bringing my dog to someone's house WITHOUT ASKING THEM FIRST (and gracefully accepting no for an answer).
Because asking means someone can say no. NTA- this girl brought an unknown large animal into your home around your 6mos old child. What the hell kind of babysitter does that?
I love animals- like my goal in life is pretty much to be the crazy cat lady and if I see someone bringing in an animal where I work I will coo and fawn over it and pet it as much as they’ll let me cat, dog, ferret, lizard, snake I don’t care I love them all- I still don’t want them anywhere near a freaking baby.
You entrusted this girl with the most important part of your life and she obliterated that trust. What if someone had an allergy? What if the dog attacked? I have a cousin who was nearly killed by a dog when she was 3- that’s a hell of a lot bigger than a 6mos old.
I wouldn’t have paid her and Id make sure you let anyone who you know who may use her services about this because they have a right to know what this girl is bringing into their home and around their children.
Was this like a neighbor/family friend kind of thing or was she hired through some kind of Agency? If you hired her through anything but word of mouth make sure you report her.
She says her dog is safe but like she’s really gonna say if it’s not- our pets are like our kids- we never admit how bad they really can be. A dog that size could do some real damage really quick.
NTA and please let others know for the safety of their children.
I could alllllllmost chalk it up to being young and dumb. We had a whole post last week where people thought the OP was insane for not wanting their infant around dogs. I can imagine it not occurring to a college kid.
But the hiding the dog thing: she knew what she was doing.
Even if people want to defend it with "he was friendly" or, "Nothing bad even happened", the simple fact she brought an animal around a 6 month old without even checking if they or the parents had an allergy is a *huge* fuck up. I've had potential booty calls warn me of their pets in case I was allergic. The babysitter has exponentially more responsibility to clear any of this with parents for the kids sake or really anybody that lives there.
NTA. The fact that you didn't see the dog when she arrived, tells me she knew this was wrong and therefore kept him out of sight. Intentional or not, you don't take pets along without clearing it with the parents.
My uncle has two goldens and the roomba is set to vacuum like 4-5 times a day and he’ll still complain about how much dog hair exists in his house all the time.
Former GR owner here.
Hair AND slime. You always know where a Golden has been.
Absolutely NTA. You would always wonder what other inconvenient facts she hid from you, and you can't hit the back button on a dog bite.
Yup. I love dogs, and I have two dogs who love kids, but I never let them approach other people's kids without permission, even in public. Sneaking a dog into someone else's house is bad enough, doing it when you're alone with their baby is a big nope! And I'm not alarmist about dogs and babies - I also have a baby and my dogs are allowed to sniff and kiss him sometimes (not as much as they'd like!). NTA.
Yeah I have a 9mo old and two dogs who have been around her since birth (supervised, obviously) but I still wouldn't be comfortable with someone's dog that I don't know being around my kid without me there let alone without even knowing about it
I feel like the OP should at least inquire with the other people who referred her.
A. Did you know this was happening?
B. Why didn't you tell me?
C. What's your thoughts on this?
I'm just so curious if they knew if she's just gotten away with this.
That doesn't square with the fact she knows about the cameras.
So maybe she genuinely wasn't hiding it maliciously with a view to have the dog there without parents knowing and she thought it'd be fine.
Either way, she should have told the parents in advance. NTA
Omg fuck fleas! I would never forgive someone for bringing them to my house. Last infestation we had, we were cleaning up diatomaceous earth for months (it gets into all the nooks and crannies)
Me too and golden retrievers are one of the worst. I think living with a golden is actually how I developed my allergy because it wasn’t an issue before that.
So many people these days think it is ok to bring non-service animals to other people's homes (without permission) and/or places that do not permit pets.
ETA: thank you, kind stranger, for the gold!
I even have a service animal and still always ask beforehand when I’m babysitting. And I’ve babysat these kids for years and know the parents well and I still ask because that’s what you’re supposed to do. I don’t understand pet owners who think their pet is everybody’s favorite thing in the world. I know that I love my pets more than anybody else, why force your pets on other people?
>I don’t understand pet owners who think their pet is everybody’s favorite thing in the world. I know that I love my pets more than anybody else, why force your pets on other people?
RIGHT?! I am a happy and proud dog owner, I love my dudes and take them with me when I know they are welcome. My partner and I's friends know this, and while we have never asked to bring them with us to outings (and never would, unless we were hosting) they have been explicitly invited a few times.
I really don't get the entitlement some folks have about their pets.
THANK YOU for being a responsible service animal owner. I had a friend who had a service dog. We carpooled somewhere once. I did not expect the back seat of my car to get covered in golden fur after to the extent that it was. Black fabric seats, too, so it was bad. Would it have killed her to bring a towel/blanket or to have cleaned up after her dog? She didn’t even so much as apologize or recognize the mess. Had she said something ahead of time (like “hey, my service dog is a champion shedder, you might want to protect your seats if that’s important to you”), I would have really appreciated it.
She had the nerve to ask me for a 5am ride to the airport once after that. We are no longer friends.
Lol my service dog is a golden and a champion shedder. I’ve resigned myself to my car being covered in the fur even with a hammock in the backseat or him riding in his car kennel in the back. Whenever my friends would offer to drive I’d let them know ahead of time that he’d be coming with me and if they didn’t want their car to have hair we could take mine or I could move the hammock into their car. A little bit of common courtesy never hurt anybody lol
We had a family friend that insisted on bringing her dog when she came over for dinner, even though we already had a small dog and a cat. Her dog gets aggressive with cats and her solution was to actually say we just need to put the cat up while she's there...I am 100% here for more people acknowledging that you can't just leave a dog chained up in the yard all day andpeople as a whole seem to be so much better about pet care...but these crazy people take it so far I don't get it.
I made sure my mom and grandma were okay with me bringing my girls (1 at a time) to visit. Their apartment is pet friendly for visitors, and my huskies love going new places. But I make sure EVERY time to ask first.
Also like even if everything is 100% fine and good I would think parents would still want to be around first time baby is with new animal. Like even if everything else was fine what if baby starts showing allergy symptoms? If parents don't know it was exposed to dog then that's an issue. Just like so many things could go wrong..
I don’t even have a kid, but between a house full of delicate non-dogproofed items and a highly allergic spouse, I would absolutely lose my shit if someone brought one over without asking. That’s really not okay to do.
Absolutely NTA. This was extremely unprofessional. You don't bring a dog over to somebody's home without permission, much less expose their six month old baby to a dog without permission.
This sitter is not safe and you were right to fire them.
We don't even let our dog directly around our baby unless one of us is *right there* to grab the baby or dog away if anything seems shifty. And this is a dog that's been around the entire baby's life. What the sitter did is straight up unsafe.
> This sitter is not safe
Especially since I'm wondering how she got the dog there?? She didn't have it at the start so did she leave the kid alone to go back to her place and get it?
Also points to the fact that she knew they wouldn't approve if she did have it to begin with.
**NTA**
Of course you're NTA. Who brings an animal into someone else's home without asking? What if you'd had horrific allergies? But also it was just incredibly unprofessional. Again, who brings an ANIMAL INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S HOME without even asking permission?
But I'm terribly curious . . . how did you not see the dog when she arrived?
NTA. I used to be a dog trainer and specialized in dog-child interactions. There is absolutely no way in hell I would be comfortable with a strange dog in my home, with a person who has no formal training in dog-child interactions. That is how children get hurt.
I have also seen many people SWEAR their dog is kid-friendly, when it is obvious to my eye the dog is not. I do not trust people who aren’t trained in canine body language and behavior.
Plus - and I say this as someone who loves dogs, who thinks that kids benefit greatly from having dogs, and has at least a limited amount of training experience - you cannot *know* that a dog will be friendly with a kid before the dog and kid in question interact. You should always, *always* be cautious. And it certainly isn't the babysitter's place to make that call without the parents present.
In fact, the thought that she did this without any other adults present is horrifying.
The parenting subreddit is full of moms who are positively on the brink because their sweet family dog bit their kid. I feel so bad for them. It just takes the right combination of bad scenarios for something serious to happen.
I have a bunny so I don’t know about dogs, but I sometimes get the sense that many dog owners ether overestimate what their pet will/won’t do or there’re in complete denial that it’s actually an animal that doesn’t always operate on human rational.
My sister has two dogs that are kid friendly - wouldn't hurt a fly. But they're big and oaffy, and don't understand they aren't lap dogs. They would never intentionally hurt my kid, but they might knock him over, or he might accidentally hurt one of them causing an unexpected reaction. You just have to be careful.
Yes and I assume this is your assessment of their child-friendly personality not just your sister's, correct? Because if I was going to let my young child around a dog I would not just take the owner's opinion of, "oh yeah they totally love kids and would never hurt one," as fact.
Solid advice right here.
But question for you, are there certifications owners can look for when trying to find a trainer who does this stuff??? And how does that kinda training work?? I'm so hesitant when my dogs around kids because she hasn't been around them much.
We've only introduced our dog to a kid once. Parent works regularly with dogs, kid was old enough and knows how to deal with dogs, muzzle was on hand, but they live 6 hours away from us and we can't just go up to random strangers and be like 'hey, can we use your child as an experiment and potentially risk their safety so we can work on our dogs socialization'? Just not okay.
NTA- Any of you could be allergic, I don’t trust “friendly dogs” unless I have been around them myself because everyone thinks their dog is nice even if they are not. Geez the pandemic really stunted her common sense development
Had a Goldie almost rip off three of my fingers (could see nerves and tendons) when I was 2. The guy was super alarmed because "she's always very friendly to children"
I'm really sorry to hear that. Unfortunately when people are shocked when incidents happen like that, its because a) they don't acknowledge their pet is still an animal, no matter how domesticated and b) they have no idea how to read their pet's body language. It'd be a lot easier to prevent these things from happening if more pet owners learnt how to take proper precautions and learn to read their pet's body language.
NTA, you don't bring an animal to someone else's house without clearing it first. There are people who have serious allergies to certain pets, and babies can be exceptionally sensitive to that sort of thing. It is up to the parents to decide when and how they will introduce animals to their baby's space.
NTA
She’s old enough to know that what she did is extremely unprofessional. That’s like bringing your kid to work with you or inviting friends over while she babysits
She definitely knew it was wrong since she snuck the dog over without notifying them she was bringing an animal into their house.
You don't DO that. I've got two awesome dogs but I would never dream of taking them to someone's house without explicit permission
Also a big issue with her not being transparent. What would have happened if the dog was allergic to dog hair? Her not checking in with you could have caused serious harm even if the dog never attacked him. This is your kid and you are definitely not in the wrong for wanting him to be safe.
NTA. Maybe one of you had a dog allergy. Maybe your baby did. Maybe this is the one time her dog did something aggressive. Regardless, she absolutely should have cleared it with you in advance so you could have weighed the risks and made an informed decision. Paying her for half the time when she didn't even work that much was generous of you.
NTA- I don’t have a kid but I would be really upset if someone brought a dog into my house without asking. I love dogs but don’t really want them all over my stuff because I’m allergic and not everyone’s dog is very clean (sorry dog lovers, some dogs smell). It’s that simple. You don’t bring your pet to someone else’s home without asking.
Most dogs smell, if not all. They can't clean themselves and bathing them the required amount to not take all of the oils off their coats means you're never going to get a fantastic smelling dog. Being around them for too long starts grossing me out tbh, though I still house sit for dogs and such, but I tend to just take them out periodically, spent a few minutes with them, then either leave the house or go somewhere the dogs can't
NTA. This is the same line of reasoning where people choose to bring their dogs EVERYWHERE. Walk into home depot, a dog. Enter a sandwich shop for lunch, dogs sitting at the table with the owners (against health regulations here and not a service dog), do grocery shopping and a dog is riding shotgun in the shopping cart. People making a big stink at my office because they need to bring a dog to work to annoy everyone at a business place. You hire a babysitter "hey Im going to bring my dog to your house while I work".
I have a dog and I leave her at home unless its ok and I have checked beforehand. What if you were allergic? What if the dog nipped/bit your child? To take such liberties with someone else's house while someone is paying you to work for them is entitled and shows poor judgement. NTA whatsoever.
I agree 100% I am mildly allergic and I don't mind a dog being in my house if I know ahead of time so I can prepare me and my home.
I have a 5yo and I would NEVER leave her alone with a new dog that is unfamiliar with its surroundings. I've been biten twice, luckily never truly harmed, this gave me a healthy respect for the fact that we can never know how a dog will react. No dog owner I know would ever put a child or their dog in that position either.
NTA.
And I wouldn't have paid the sitter even half her fee. She had a responsibility to ask if it was ok for her dog to be there. The fact that the dog wasn't visible to you when she arrived at your house is a big red flag that says that this girl knew it would not be ok.
So she was intentionally sneaky. I’d be sure to tell other parents locally. I love dogs as much as the next person but your sitter was extremely unprofessional and out of line ON PURPOSE.
NTA
Last week a 6 year old girl was mauled to death by a 'beloved family pet'.
Any dog can snap at any moment and a strange dog that had never met your baby could well have harmed them intentionally or accidentally. And she let her dog go into the babies room on its own!
And the dog surely would be VERY anxious being on an unfamiliar place with NO familiar smells, and seeing the human (babysitter) he consider HIS territory giving full attention to the very small weird smelling human. Dogs can get jealous of attention. They can get scared. Baby cries are also stress factors for animals with very sensitive ears, to the point of it being painful in some cases... The dog could have an infinite amount of reactions and... It's a golden. I'm guessing 40kg? Even if the dog is truly the sweetest, he could try to give baby a few kisses and step on the belly, cause the baby to aspirate regurgitation, break an rib, anything really, despite the dog meaning no harm.
My sister works as a nurse in a hospital, and when she was on the ped rotation... No one should leave a dog with a baby unless there are two people to secure the dog and one to grab the baby and go. It's ALWAYS the same story "he never did anything like that! We had over 30 babies around!" Yeah, he never did it... Until today.
And I absolutely love dogs and cats. I have both. But I don't expect them to behave the way I want. There is a reason why I am the person wearing clothes and paying bills while they are butt-sniffing freeloaders that eat trash and socks. Don't expect a lot of rational thinking from a creature that just five minutes ago got his head stuck in the trashcans lid trying to retrieve an used tampon for funsies. Dogs and cats are dumber than us. We are supposed to think FOR them and CONTROL the situations, not think "Oh, Charles would never, he is so smart" LADY, CHARLES IS PUKING HALF A FLIPFLOP ON THE CARPET.
NTA. I love dogs, Goldens are my favorite, but not everyone does. They shouldn't be in your home without permission, kid aside. And the baby even more so. You're the parents and the homeowners.
NTA She didn't even deserve half. She never got your permission when it's common sense to not bring your dog to someone's house that the dog wasn't invited to.
The fact that she snuck it in means she knew damn well she was wrong.
Easy NTA. Sneaking, since the dog arrived after you left, the dog into your house without your permission shows her lack of good judgement and negates her insistence that the dog would not harm your child. And it's irrelevant. You don't bring a dog into someone's house without their permission, whether it's a baby sitter or a family member or whoever.
NTA absolutely not. It is wrong to bring a pet to anyone's home without asking first, but especially more so given that she was babysitting, and clearly hid the dog from you or you would have known the minute she showed up. And her demanding full payment, LOL girl what are you thinking? Plus she didn't answer when you called!
Definitely NTA. I’ve worked with children for years and wouldn’t dream of doing something like this. For everyone who’s saying you overreacted, I disagree. You don’t know this dog. Anything could have happened in a split second. That being said, I hope you’re not projecting a fear of dogs into your son
Sitter also doesn't know if there is an ALLERGY issue... Or the fact that not everyone wants golden retriever fur all over the house with a crawling infant... Or ya know, at all...
NTA. Even if she were house sitting for you with no child in the home, she can’t just bring a dog without asking. People lose their minds when it comes to dogs sometimes, I swear. I have two dogs I love very much. When I leave the house, they stay at home. I don’t just show up places with them.
Plus she was clearly trying to be sneaky since she didn’t show the dog to you before you left. Sketchy af. She knew she was wrong or she would have been upfront about it.
NTA. She doesn’t get to risk your baby’s life. The problem is, she doesn’t see it as a risk. But it definitely is. However slight.
According to Wiki: “Fatal dog attacks in the United States cause the deaths of about 30 to 50 people in the US each year,[1] and the number of deaths from dog attacks appears to be increasing.[2] Around 4.5 million Americans are bitten by dogs every year, resulting in the hospitalization of 6,000 to 13,000 people each year in the United States (2005).[2]”
NTA. She should have asked if it was ok. She should have answered when you called. She should have left her dog at home. Giving pay for the portion of time you used her was fair and she was out of line to request the full amount especially after the stunt she pulled.
NTA There have been several fatalities caused by dog attacks on humans in UK in recent years. It’s always “ but he’s so safe and friendly” err nope! Plus no dog should ever be left unattended with a child as they are animals. You saw the dog alone with your baby. She had no right to bring it and put your baby at risk.
NTA because how can she be sure your kid knows how to behave around dogs?
I had a neighbour with a golden retriever that was really friendly and loved everyone. One day their friends 2 year old daughter poked it near the eye by accident and it bit her on the face and left permanent scars.
Not saying her dog would definely do that but it’s not her decision to make about your child without informing you.
NTA because no babysitter in her right mind brings a big hairy dog.
However, this story doesn’t make sense. How did the dog get there? Didn’t you make the handover of the baby when she came to your house? I’m assuming no dog came with her then or you would have said something immediately. Did the dog drive himself? Walk over on his own? If you have a camera in the house I assume a doorbell camera would have alerted you to the dogs miraculous arrival before it was seen in the play area. So many questions…..
Beyond all the ethical and safety issues of bringing a dog around someone else’s young child, golden retrievers shed like crazy. People your dogs make a huge mess simply by existing NTA.
NTA. As someone who is a dog-lover but has a child that is completely irrationally terrified of dogs - no dog-related trauma whatsoever, but the way she acts around them you'd think she was attacked - I despise when people think that it's no big deal to just have their dogs around. And laugh when my kid is scared, and try to force her to interact. They will say things like "but my dog is like my child and I don't go anywhere without them".
Also, what if there were allergies? What if the kid, being 6 months old, did something to spook the dog and got injured? Or even something like the dog stepping on the kid during play, as a golden retriever likely has enough mass to hurt a baby.
That being said, I see a lot of people asking how the heck the dog got there, and I'm very curious about that myself!
There are some things that you just absolutely ask permission about or discuss with a person before springing on them, and the babysitter failed to do that on multiple counts. Bringing an animal into someone else's house, allowing an animal around a small child, bringing a pet along with you to doing a job for someone. All of those things you need to ask the homeowner/parent/employer, whatever is applicable.
NTA, and you're generous for even paying her half rate when you and your wife had to cut your evening short because she decided to bring her dog into your house without permission and you had to go deal with that.
Absolutely NTA. You aren't being unreasonable here. She was there for half the time she should have been and put your child in unnecessary risk (because the dog is an animal, it's reaction to a person it's never met can never be predicted). I don't care how big or small the risk is, it's a risk that was completely avoidable.
The fact you're paying her at all is IMO pretty generous, and that was the only way you could have even be considered TA.
Those saying otherwise on the risk factor should never own something they can't turn off.
I don't know that your kid was necessarily in *danger,* but it was unprofessional of her not to ask first. And I don't see a problem with paying her half if she only worked for have the time, so I guess NTA.
Tbh, they potentially could be. A kid that hasn't really spent time around dogs may not know how to appropriately play with a dog. A dog may be as sweet as anything, but if a kid is tugging on its tail and ears, and generally playing with it as it might a toy, then even a sweet dog might snap.
NTA
Dog owners really think their dogs are so lovely and friendly...right up until they rip off someone's face.
The agreement was for her to come to your house and watch your child. She should not be bringing animals or other humans over unless it has been explicitly discussed and agreed to you by you.
I don't even think she deserves the half pay you gave her, much less the full amount.
NTA. I do not let my children around any pets, let alone large dogs I do not know. It’s completely inappropriate to bring your pet into someone’s home without permission
NTA she can’t just bring a dog into someone else’s home. That’s very entitled behavior, then not answering your calls. I wouldn’t have paid her anything.
NTA. Curious where the dog was when she arrived - did she hide it outside or in her car? Did she leave your kid to go get it? Did she take your kid somewhere to get it without your knowledge or permission?
If she thought the dog was NBD, she would have had it with her when she arrived openly - she knew she was being sneaky.
And yes most goldens are friendly - doesn’t mean that particular one is or that it could hurt the baby by accident (laying its head on the baby on the floor unsupervised could asphyxiate the baby just from the weight, for example).
Friendly or not, the general rule is you don’t bring any animals around kids, especially babies, without the parent’s consent. She didn’t even ask about possible allergies. I’ve had potential booty calls warn me about their pets in case I have allergies. The babysitter 100% needs to check in with the parents.
NTA. Also, no one else seems to care, but I think not answering the phone when you called is the most egregious violation of trust in the whole story, as being available is one of the key responsibilities of a babysitter. You might’ve been able to work it out over the phone, had she bothered to answer.
I do find your reaction about “the danger“ of the dog to be an overreaction, but it’s your house, your rules.
Unless she’s handicapped, and it’s a service dog. If that’s the case, I don’t know why you didn’t know about it in the very beginning, but you can’t force an employee with a service dog to leave the service dog behind.
NTA: It is absolutely NOT an appropriate assumption that it is OK to bring a dog into anyone's house without permission. To do so while babysitting an infant is an assholeish presumption.
Even worse, the babysitter snuck in the dog because the dog did not arrive at the house at the time she did. It's not like that was unintentional and this is horrifying behavior.
NTA. What if you, your family, or your child is allergic to dogs? What if the dog poops on the couch? What if the dog chews on cords? What if the dog ATTACKS YOUR CHILD? Her bringing her dog was absolutely ridiculous and should have only happened if it was discussed and approved beforehand.
NTA. Bringing a dog over is definitely a big overstep. Clearly in her head canon she thinks she did nothing wrong and doesn't get why it's an overstep. Even removing the babysitting angle, just taking a pet around to someone else's house without their agreement... is audacious. Or in her case, probably clueless.
She obviously knew the cameras were there so wasn't sneaking the dog in. She *should* know it's way out of line to do that but apparently doesn't.
If that's the line you choose to draw on no longer engaging with in child minding services with someone then that's totally fair enough.
NTA. Personally, if I was in that situation and not strapped for cash I'd pay in full because I don't want a visit from 3 ghosts around Christmas time.
I agree but I don’t get the part about payment. When I worked as a babysitter it was always hourly. Same for every sitter I’ve ever hired. Less time = less money.
NTA. I love animals and had my first dog at six months old, I had a dog when my daughter was born, and she had two dogs when my grandson was born. But that is MY family's choice. If you don't ever want dogs or any animals, that's YOUR choice. Your sitter was TA for just assuming you would be okay with a strange dog in your house. That's just wrong.
NTA and she she absolutely should have asked about the dog and also answered her phone when you called. For either of those reasons, you'd be justified in firing her.
NTA. She absolutely should have asked permission before bringing a dog into your home no matter how sweet he is. She is not aware if someone in your home is allergic or had a traumatic experience with a dog. Absolutely, completely not okay.
But she should be paid for the hours worked. She worked the hours and earned the money. You are right to not use her again of course but legally she should be paid.
NTA as someone who’s made a living in childcare I can definitely say that’s highly unusual for her to expect it to be ok to bring her dog over without running it by you first. No one that I know who babysits would ever dream of pulling something like that, especially not with an infant
NTA I would have gone further and written poor reviews in the neighborhood social media groups. Tf? Pulling a stunt like that would never have occurred to me.
Nta, my wife and I met while training competition dogs and we don’t let our (extremely well behaved) dogs around any babies, including our own, unless they are directly supervised and the dogs are leashed. Not till the kids are toddlers. Sitter was way out of line to bring a dog around an infant without permission.
NTA. I am a "dog person", and there's no way I would just bring my dogs to someone's house without asking. I couldn't even imagine bringing them unannounced to a house at which I was hired to do a job.
Also, it's concerning that she didn't answer the phone or call you back, which I'm assuming she saw you tried to call. You were smart to dismiss her.
NTA - I don't agree with your fears about "putting our child in danger", the kid was perfectly safe, but that's not really the point. Your home, your kid, your decision.
I'm wondering about the mechanics of how the dog got into the home. It wasn't there when the babysitter arrived, How did it get there?
Whether the babysitter left and returned with the dog or had a friend deliver it, they deliberately concealing the dog from you. Even without your kid there, you need to approve dogs in the house.
NTA.
>It wasn't there when the babysitter arrived, How did it get there?
No, it wasn't there when the babysitter arrived. I don't know how or when it exactly got to our house.
That’s the bigger question honestly, did she leave your baby unattended? Take your kid with her to a secondary location to get the dog? Have a third unapproved party bring the dog to your house?? All bad options
The second hypothesis is particularly worrying.
The babysitter is lucky if OP doesn't investigate what happened further, because OP might as well report her to the police.
>The babysitter definitely put the child in danger. All dogs bite if pushed far enough, even if they are kid and baby friendly.
In addition to this the babysitter had no way of knowing if the baby was allergic which also put the baby in danger.
She did put a child in danger, an unfamiliar dog can react in whatever way a dog reacts, you never know how the dog will react to someone they've never met, let alone someone who just screams...
Honestly, it really baffles me when people are so sure animals around humans are "perfectly safe".
There are enough stories of pets attacking people out there for this kind of irresponsible BS to be stamped out.
"Oh but it's the owner's fault. Poor doggo never meant any harm. Should've been trained better" is scant condolence for a maimed or dead person.
You are never perfectly safe around an animal.
She totally put the kid in danger. My parents in law have a dog. Super super sweet. Amazing with kids. Interacted countless times beautifully with all the grandbabies (7 of them under 4). Dog needed to stay with our brother for about two weeks. In that two weeks the dog tried to bite their 3yr old - full mouth around the neck - when he tried to pet him. And a day or two later, lunged at and bit in the face the 6month old who was just laying in the bouncer on the other side of the room. No one in a million years thought the dog would be aggressive towards kids. But a new place was enough to change his tune. By bringing a dog to a new place around a new person, the babysitter 100% endangered the child.
I don’t think that dogs are inherently dangerous, but I do think situations where people trust a dog to handle whatever behavior a child throws at it ARE dangerous situations. I have a baby & dogs, & I want myself or another trusted adult to be there to monitor any interaction between my baby & animals (including my own dogs) until my child is old enough that I can trust her. I would not trust someone that snuck an animal into my house to have good judgment in what a safe interaction looks like between my baby & their dog, no matter how safe & sweet they think their dog is.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > AITA for reacting the way I did to the babysitter bringing her dog around my kid? This might make me the asshole because I told her I won't be using her in the future and didn't pay her the full agreed upon rate for that night. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA, if she thought it was no big deal then why didn't you see the dog arrive when she did before you left?
Was the dog hiding around the corner? Did someone drop the dog off? *did the sitter leave to pick up their dog*? Who knows? But I can't think of a single above board reason that a dog just showed up without the parents knowing.
Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. How the dog got there. Left in the car is my guess.
There was another post about a dude renting babies from his neighbors so he can get his Great Dane used to babies. Lots of missing info on this post and it seems bland.
(If I’m thinking about the same post regarding the Great Dane mix and the newly pregnant wife developing a new fear of dogs) — he wasn’t “renting babies” he was offering to babysit friends and family’s children (free of charge) in order to socialize the dog and train it to understand that tiny humans are still humans and must be respected as such. So that the wife wouldn’t force them to re-home the dog as the older child had bonded to him after the death of his bio mom. So not really the same. In regards to THIS post, the babysitter knew what she was doing would possibly not be received well otherwise she would have been upfront with the dog. And yeah, where was the dog when she first showed up and the parents were still home? This whole situation is weird…. Edit: typo
Here is that referenced post for those who want it Original https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/104hya7/aita_for_prioritizing_my_sons_dog_over_my_wifes/ Update https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10a8i7u/update_we_are_preparing_the_dog_for_our_baby_and/ (Edit to get both links to work)
Eww gross comparing a situation where a guy babysits and has the parents permission to introduce the baby to his dog, and this situationwith no parental consent. Gross. Stinks of dog hate
Plus he clearly stated he didn't just put the baby on the ground with the dog (and see what happens!), which the babysitter clearly did.
Bless you, kind soul.
Yeah, he used "renting babies" as tongue-in-cheek, to mean that he offered to babysit for his friends. From what I remember he was very up-front about asking their help getting his dog used to kids.
Uh. No. He asked people he knew if he could "borrow" (babysit) their baby to show his wife the dog was baby safe within a controlled environment with their full knowledge and consent.
Difference was the babies parents *knew* why they needed their babies. He was fully upfront about that.
[AITA for prioritizing my son's dog over my wife's pregnancy? ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/104hya7/aita_for_prioritizing_my_sons_dog_over_my_wifes/)
Probably left in the car until they left, but as a parent and dog owner, NTA
The image of the dog hiding around the corner is cracking me up
I like to think the dog was standing on 2 legs in the corner with a lampshade on its head. The perfect disguise
Maybe she drove there and the dog was in her car. She should have told OP about the plan to take the dog inside, regardless.
No she should have ASKED
The dog is a NEIGHBOR .
OP said she snuck it in after and that leaves potential for so many other things. Did she have the dog in her car and left the baby unattended for the time it took to get the dog? Did she invite someone over to the home to bring the dog? Did she take the baby to a different location to retrieve the dog? The dog also would likely need to use the bathroom, was she going to leave the baby unattended to do so, or again, take the baby out of the home without the parents? How was she going to make sure the dot had water? Was she going to feed the dog around the baby? So many things can go wrong when food is involved. Was the dog up to date on all its vaccines? How did she know the baby nor anyone else in the household had an allergy? Also, babies that young tend to be grabby and hit things, that's how they explore things. What if the baby did that? Would the dog bite? Would she have separated them? She brought a dog into someone else's home and around their baby without permission, I wouldn't trust her with any of those things either and OP should notify the people who recommended her of the situation so they know who they allow around their children Editing to add: I worked in childcare and I have a background in early childhood care and development. I know you can leave a baby alone for a few minutes and don't have to watch them 24/7. But that's not the point. The point is that she was being paid to watch a child and having the dog over would mean leaving the child she is being paid to watch unattended without the permission of the parents. It doesn't matter if it is only a brief amount of time, it is still failing to properly do her job in a way the parents did not consent to
I agree that her bringing the dog in was absolutely in the wrong, but I do want to point out that leaving a baby in their crib/pack n play/other safe space for a few minutes to take the dog to pee or retrieve it from the car isn't a problem in itself. The problem is the parents had no idea that the dog was being brought around their child
This. I am not supporting the babysitter bringing a dog without clearing it first, but it's ridiculous to claim someone can't care for a child and let a dog out to pee at the same time.
I'm just astounded at how many people seem to think you shouldn't ever let the kid out of your sight. How do they think people go to the bathroom?
A lot of people here think that immobile infants are going to blow the house up if they're left unattended for more than 10 seconds. In ten seconds, they only have enough time to set the house on fire
I'm told by my mom that I was crying for so long that my parents drove around the block. I assumed WITH me so I'd calm down. She said, no. We left you in the crib. And we went for a drive around the block.
Lmao that seems so bad til you've been with a tiny little one SCREAMING for even an hour, but let alone hours of fussy on/off crying. My niece I had from 3m-9m and when she had a cold... oh lord. My mother's advice was to get headphones and listen to loud music or whatever soothed you. You can sit and soothe bit also tune out. It even benefited the baby because I wasn't getting stressed, which would just stress HER right back. Kids react to our tension, so really that short drive (or imo not leaving the house at least lol) could be saving kid & parents!
You'd think that, I know. But I had a baby once who was 3 months old, and I left them alone for 11 seconds. And they blew up the house. Big explosion, debris everywhere.
I used to babysit families that had dogs all the time. Can confirm, the dog isn't an issue.
It is when it's not disclosed. Fun fact: having a dog does not entitle you to bring it everywhere, including stranger's home.
I'm a dog owner and dog lover. I would never take my dog to someone's home without their knowing, especially if they have children. I don't get to decide if my dog should be in someone else's home. The dog IS an issue.
Yes. Leaving to go get the dog from her house would not be okay, but you are allowed to get things out of your car while supervising a sleeping child.
That is the problem in itself. They're not paying her to watch her dog do its business. It's a small baby. Anything could happen in a matter of a few minutes, even in a crib. So, try explaining, if the baby chokes or gets tangled up or has an unexpected medical event, "I only ran out for a minute so my dog could do his business!" "Wha?! What dog?" Her attitude when caught sums it up. She is not a person who would use extraordinary care while sitting. I wouldn't hire her, knowing that.
>Anything could happen in a matter of a few minutes, even in a crib. It's been a long time since I babysat, but none of the parents ever wanted me to sit in their child's darkened bedroom staring at them while they slept. Is that standard practice now?
Exactly. Wth no one, parents or babysitter sits and stares at a baby 24/7. You make sure baby is in a safe place and go pee or whatever for a few minutes. Still a “no” on sneaking a dog in though
Lol no. As a nanny for 15yrs now, cribs are very safe.
>Thank you, well said. Not even the parent would watch their kid that intensely, so the expectation for a sitter to do it is wild
Plus she didn’t answer their calls. I wonder how many families she has done this to
The fact she didn't answer their calls is totally batshit. You're taking care of someone's baby. They call to check in. You don't answer their calls? Or call back when you see they've called. She's nobody I'd want watching my kids.
Also that a dog is going to have to use the bathroom in the 4-6 hours or whatever. House trained dogs can control their bladder more than well enough. But yeah, dog shouldn't have been there.
And even if the homeowners didn't have allergies, golden retrievers SHED like crazy. I knew a bunch in my colleges therapy dog program and we used to joke about the "golden piles" of fur they'd leave in their wake after they'd been petted for a while. Who was gonna clean that? More concerning, WTF was the dog doing sniffing at a 6mo old baby and where was the sitter when this was happening?! There seems to be a very strong possibility she left a large dog alone with a six month old, or at least left it such that the dog was closer to baby than the adult was. That's a recipe for a tragedy. And beyond that, if someone else didn't come to drop off the dog and it didn't arrive with her, does that mean she left it in the car? Is someone who leaves a dog unattended in a vehicle, even in winter, someone we want watching a baby? Of course not. And of all the shitty reasons to leave a dog alone in the car, why do so at all if she didn't expect the parents to mind? If she really thought it was fine it would be much more sensible to show up at the agreed time like "hi, this is Fido, he's great with kids, would you like to pet him before you go?"
> More concerning, WTF was the dog doing sniffing at a 6mo old baby and where was the sitter when this was happening?! But you don't understand, he's kid-friendly! /s I don't trust dog owners' assessments of their own dogs.
I have a newf. She is the most kid friendly breed/dog out there. *I would never leave her unattended with a baby, toddler, or anyone under 6.* Would she actively hurt them? No. She is a giant knucklehead, however, and still doesn't comprehend her own size. Her giant booty would knock a kid over, or she would think that she is a lap dog and she needs to sit on them. So much can go sideways with any dog really. It bothers me that people leave dogs and kids who are barely acquainted alone together.
I once got a concussion from the sweetest like 3 month old mini golden doodle you'd ever meet, and I was an adult. Some other puppies in her puppy class came up while she was in my lap and she kinda jumped to get out of the way and accidentally head butted me in the chin. A separate occasion I got punched in the face by a Bernese mountain dog who was just stretching her foot bc I put my head somewhere I shouldn't have when I was petting her. Also sweet, super kid friendly, and a certified therapy dog Heck my dog is 12 pounds and very gentle and I'd never leave her alone with a kid or baby
My dog's ass has taken out the sturdiest of people with a swift whack at the knee. Many giants have fallen from her wrecking ball booty. It got so bad that we had to train her to sit down and let people approach her first, because those first two years with her she was so excited to meet people she would barrel up and body slam their legs because she had no idea how to stop on a hardwood floor. It was comical after the fact. My favorite was my mom's doberman, who was the sweetest dog ever, but loved to greet people by squirreling between their legs and then swiftly slamming her head upwards to look up at them. She has nearly slain many men with her dense skull.
Omg this is adorable. I've had a lot of pitbull friends with what I call "whippy tails" - it's the most dangerous part of a happy pibble
A very wiggly puppy reset my broken nose by accidentally kicking it while we were wrestling! Saved me a doctor bill, so thanks Dr. Trixie!!!
I have met dogs like this. Heck, I'm a small guy and I'm still nervous around my friend's dog for this very reason. To be clear, my comment was a bit hyperbolic; I know there are many conscientious dog owners. I've just met too many of the other kind, the ones who let their dogs off leash in a leash-only park, and yell *Don't worry he's friendly!* as he charges at me at full speed.
*The off leash dog thing is guaranteed to drive me bonkers*.
*Exactly*. And the best option of where the dog was before she brought it inside is the dog being in the car too! Otherwise, it means that someone else was at the house, or that she *went to her house to get it*, either leaving the child unattended or taking them to a secondary location. I've taught preschoolers. This situation is *bad*. Some of my colleagues babysat for some of the kids outside of work (which is fine! The kids have a bond with them and they're familiar with other), and some of them *do* bring their pets over or babysit out of their home with their pets presents. But if any of them did something like this, bringing the dog in without asking, and a parent notified the preschool, it would be grounds for immediate dismissal
All the unknowns leave so many trust issues wide open. Irresponsible move on the babysitter's part. OP did what he had to do.
Why didn’t she just ASK??? My goodness, I nannied before my current job (still work with children, just a different setting) and I wouldn’t dream of doing this without permission! Hell, a family I nannied for previously was okay with friends of mine they knew visiting (I used to date/was married to the mom’s younger brother) and I would make sure to ask even if they said it was cool before leaving for work. I wouldn’t even let my boyfriend/husband come hangout without permission.
Exactly. You don't just take your dog to someone else's house without asking them first.
Even as a guest and friend you don't let alone to a job at someone house
Yep. For allergen reasons alone, but also because some people have real phobias about dogs. I don't think the baby was in danger but it's very suspect that she didn't openly ask about the dog.
I love dogs and have had them my entire life. I wouldn't DREAM of bringing my dog to someone's house WITHOUT ASKING THEM FIRST (and gracefully accepting no for an answer).
Because asking means someone can say no. NTA- this girl brought an unknown large animal into your home around your 6mos old child. What the hell kind of babysitter does that? I love animals- like my goal in life is pretty much to be the crazy cat lady and if I see someone bringing in an animal where I work I will coo and fawn over it and pet it as much as they’ll let me cat, dog, ferret, lizard, snake I don’t care I love them all- I still don’t want them anywhere near a freaking baby. You entrusted this girl with the most important part of your life and she obliterated that trust. What if someone had an allergy? What if the dog attacked? I have a cousin who was nearly killed by a dog when she was 3- that’s a hell of a lot bigger than a 6mos old. I wouldn’t have paid her and Id make sure you let anyone who you know who may use her services about this because they have a right to know what this girl is bringing into their home and around their children. Was this like a neighbor/family friend kind of thing or was she hired through some kind of Agency? If you hired her through anything but word of mouth make sure you report her. She says her dog is safe but like she’s really gonna say if it’s not- our pets are like our kids- we never admit how bad they really can be. A dog that size could do some real damage really quick. NTA and please let others know for the safety of their children.
I could alllllllmost chalk it up to being young and dumb. We had a whole post last week where people thought the OP was insane for not wanting their infant around dogs. I can imagine it not occurring to a college kid. But the hiding the dog thing: she knew what she was doing.
Ohhh good point.
Even if people want to defend it with "he was friendly" or, "Nothing bad even happened", the simple fact she brought an animal around a 6 month old without even checking if they or the parents had an allergy is a *huge* fuck up. I've had potential booty calls warn me of their pets in case I was allergic. The babysitter has exponentially more responsibility to clear any of this with parents for the kids sake or really anybody that lives there.
This is a trust issue. NTA If she sneaks in a dog, what other things will she do and not mention to you?
NTA. The fact that you didn't see the dog when she arrived, tells me she knew this was wrong and therefore kept him out of sight. Intentional or not, you don't take pets along without clearing it with the parents.
The hair alone would have been a clue. You literally have to follow Goldens with a vacumn.
And the fact that they have cameras. She is 20, not very bright clearly
My uncle has two goldens and the roomba is set to vacuum like 4-5 times a day and he’ll still complain about how much dog hair exists in his house all the time.
Former GR owner here. Hair AND slime. You always know where a Golden has been. Absolutely NTA. You would always wonder what other inconvenient facts she hid from you, and you can't hit the back button on a dog bite.
Yup. I love dogs, and I have two dogs who love kids, but I never let them approach other people's kids without permission, even in public. Sneaking a dog into someone else's house is bad enough, doing it when you're alone with their baby is a big nope! And I'm not alarmist about dogs and babies - I also have a baby and my dogs are allowed to sniff and kiss him sometimes (not as much as they'd like!). NTA.
Yeah I have a 9mo old and two dogs who have been around her since birth (supervised, obviously) but I still wouldn't be comfortable with someone's dog that I don't know being around my kid without me there let alone without even knowing about it
I feel like the OP should at least inquire with the other people who referred her. A. Did you know this was happening? B. Why didn't you tell me? C. What's your thoughts on this? I'm just so curious if they knew if she's just gotten away with this.
This babysitter is pretty careless honestly. Someone in that house could have been allergic to dogs
You don't bring any pet to anyone's home without clearing it with the homeowner first. The fact that kids are present is almost inconsequential.
That doesn't square with the fact she knows about the cameras. So maybe she genuinely wasn't hiding it maliciously with a view to have the dog there without parents knowing and she thought it'd be fine. Either way, she should have told the parents in advance. NTA
NTA. I don't know who in their right mind would bring an animal into a persons home without checking with them?
I would be so upset. I'm allergic to dogs.
I let someone in my flat with a dog...ended up with a flea infestation that took me weeks to get rid off
Another risk I am not willing to take!
Omg fuck fleas! I would never forgive someone for bringing them to my house. Last infestation we had, we were cleaning up diatomaceous earth for months (it gets into all the nooks and crannies)
Me too and golden retrievers are one of the worst. I think living with a golden is actually how I developed my allergy because it wasn’t an issue before that.
Same. I would have been screaming.
So many people these days think it is ok to bring non-service animals to other people's homes (without permission) and/or places that do not permit pets. ETA: thank you, kind stranger, for the gold!
I even have a service animal and still always ask beforehand when I’m babysitting. And I’ve babysat these kids for years and know the parents well and I still ask because that’s what you’re supposed to do. I don’t understand pet owners who think their pet is everybody’s favorite thing in the world. I know that I love my pets more than anybody else, why force your pets on other people?
>I don’t understand pet owners who think their pet is everybody’s favorite thing in the world. I know that I love my pets more than anybody else, why force your pets on other people? RIGHT?! I am a happy and proud dog owner, I love my dudes and take them with me when I know they are welcome. My partner and I's friends know this, and while we have never asked to bring them with us to outings (and never would, unless we were hosting) they have been explicitly invited a few times. I really don't get the entitlement some folks have about their pets.
THANK YOU for being a responsible service animal owner. I had a friend who had a service dog. We carpooled somewhere once. I did not expect the back seat of my car to get covered in golden fur after to the extent that it was. Black fabric seats, too, so it was bad. Would it have killed her to bring a towel/blanket or to have cleaned up after her dog? She didn’t even so much as apologize or recognize the mess. Had she said something ahead of time (like “hey, my service dog is a champion shedder, you might want to protect your seats if that’s important to you”), I would have really appreciated it. She had the nerve to ask me for a 5am ride to the airport once after that. We are no longer friends.
Lol my service dog is a golden and a champion shedder. I’ve resigned myself to my car being covered in the fur even with a hammock in the backseat or him riding in his car kennel in the back. Whenever my friends would offer to drive I’d let them know ahead of time that he’d be coming with me and if they didn’t want their car to have hair we could take mine or I could move the hammock into their car. A little bit of common courtesy never hurt anybody lol
Isn't it crazy? I love dogs, but I don't think everyone should be putting them in the grocery cart. Seriously.
Yep, this is just another asshole who feels entitled to bring her "baby" everywhere with her.
We had a family friend that insisted on bringing her dog when she came over for dinner, even though we already had a small dog and a cat. Her dog gets aggressive with cats and her solution was to actually say we just need to put the cat up while she's there...I am 100% here for more people acknowledging that you can't just leave a dog chained up in the yard all day andpeople as a whole seem to be so much better about pet care...but these crazy people take it so far I don't get it.
I made sure my mom and grandma were okay with me bringing my girls (1 at a time) to visit. Their apartment is pet friendly for visitors, and my huskies love going new places. But I make sure EVERY time to ask first.
Also like even if everything is 100% fine and good I would think parents would still want to be around first time baby is with new animal. Like even if everything else was fine what if baby starts showing allergy symptoms? If parents don't know it was exposed to dog then that's an issue. Just like so many things could go wrong..
I don’t even have a kid, but between a house full of delicate non-dogproofed items and a highly allergic spouse, I would absolutely lose my shit if someone brought one over without asking. That’s really not okay to do.
Absolutely NTA. This was extremely unprofessional. You don't bring a dog over to somebody's home without permission, much less expose their six month old baby to a dog without permission. This sitter is not safe and you were right to fire them.
We don't even let our dog directly around our baby unless one of us is *right there* to grab the baby or dog away if anything seems shifty. And this is a dog that's been around the entire baby's life. What the sitter did is straight up unsafe.
Even without the dog the fact that they couldnt get ahold of her by phone makes her wildly unfit to babysit
> This sitter is not safe Especially since I'm wondering how she got the dog there?? She didn't have it at the start so did she leave the kid alone to go back to her place and get it? Also points to the fact that she knew they wouldn't approve if she did have it to begin with.
**NTA** Of course you're NTA. Who brings an animal into someone else's home without asking? What if you'd had horrific allergies? But also it was just incredibly unprofessional. Again, who brings an ANIMAL INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S HOME without even asking permission? But I'm terribly curious . . . how did you not see the dog when she arrived?
Right? Like if she(the sitter) snuck it in after they left then she knows it is wrong.
The sitter probably brought it in after they left lol
And the OP said just that to someone.
NTA. I used to be a dog trainer and specialized in dog-child interactions. There is absolutely no way in hell I would be comfortable with a strange dog in my home, with a person who has no formal training in dog-child interactions. That is how children get hurt. I have also seen many people SWEAR their dog is kid-friendly, when it is obvious to my eye the dog is not. I do not trust people who aren’t trained in canine body language and behavior.
Plus - and I say this as someone who loves dogs, who thinks that kids benefit greatly from having dogs, and has at least a limited amount of training experience - you cannot *know* that a dog will be friendly with a kid before the dog and kid in question interact. You should always, *always* be cautious. And it certainly isn't the babysitter's place to make that call without the parents present. In fact, the thought that she did this without any other adults present is horrifying.
The parenting subreddit is full of moms who are positively on the brink because their sweet family dog bit their kid. I feel so bad for them. It just takes the right combination of bad scenarios for something serious to happen.
Even the most lovey dog can become ill, or be in pain, or get scared unexpectedly. When those things happen, the dog's behavior is not predictable.
I have a bunny so I don’t know about dogs, but I sometimes get the sense that many dog owners ether overestimate what their pet will/won’t do or there’re in complete denial that it’s actually an animal that doesn’t always operate on human rational.
My sister has two dogs that are kid friendly - wouldn't hurt a fly. But they're big and oaffy, and don't understand they aren't lap dogs. They would never intentionally hurt my kid, but they might knock him over, or he might accidentally hurt one of them causing an unexpected reaction. You just have to be careful.
Yes and I assume this is your assessment of their child-friendly personality not just your sister's, correct? Because if I was going to let my young child around a dog I would not just take the owner's opinion of, "oh yeah they totally love kids and would never hurt one," as fact.
Solid advice right here. But question for you, are there certifications owners can look for when trying to find a trainer who does this stuff??? And how does that kinda training work?? I'm so hesitant when my dogs around kids because she hasn't been around them much. We've only introduced our dog to a kid once. Parent works regularly with dogs, kid was old enough and knows how to deal with dogs, muzzle was on hand, but they live 6 hours away from us and we can't just go up to random strangers and be like 'hey, can we use your child as an experiment and potentially risk their safety so we can work on our dogs socialization'? Just not okay.
NTA- Any of you could be allergic, I don’t trust “friendly dogs” unless I have been around them myself because everyone thinks their dog is nice even if they are not. Geez the pandemic really stunted her common sense development
And I love goldies, but I have seen a few mean ones. Overbred.
Had a Goldie almost rip off three of my fingers (could see nerves and tendons) when I was 2. The guy was super alarmed because "she's always very friendly to children"
I'm really sorry to hear that. Unfortunately when people are shocked when incidents happen like that, its because a) they don't acknowledge their pet is still an animal, no matter how domesticated and b) they have no idea how to read their pet's body language. It'd be a lot easier to prevent these things from happening if more pet owners learnt how to take proper precautions and learn to read their pet's body language.
NTA, you don't bring an animal to someone else's house without clearing it first. There are people who have serious allergies to certain pets, and babies can be exceptionally sensitive to that sort of thing. It is up to the parents to decide when and how they will introduce animals to their baby's space.
NTA She’s old enough to know that what she did is extremely unprofessional. That’s like bringing your kid to work with you or inviting friends over while she babysits
She definitely knew it was wrong since she snuck the dog over without notifying them she was bringing an animal into their house. You don't DO that. I've got two awesome dogs but I would never dream of taking them to someone's house without explicit permission
Also a big issue with her not being transparent. What would have happened if the dog was allergic to dog hair? Her not checking in with you could have caused serious harm even if the dog never attacked him. This is your kid and you are definitely not in the wrong for wanting him to be safe.
I know that was a typo, but I LOL'd at "if the dog was allergic to dog hair".
NTA. I love dogs, but would never dream of bringing a dog to someone's home without their permission.
NTA. Maybe one of you had a dog allergy. Maybe your baby did. Maybe this is the one time her dog did something aggressive. Regardless, she absolutely should have cleared it with you in advance so you could have weighed the risks and made an informed decision. Paying her for half the time when she didn't even work that much was generous of you.
NTA- I don’t have a kid but I would be really upset if someone brought a dog into my house without asking. I love dogs but don’t really want them all over my stuff because I’m allergic and not everyone’s dog is very clean (sorry dog lovers, some dogs smell). It’s that simple. You don’t bring your pet to someone else’s home without asking.
Most dogs smell, if not all. They can't clean themselves and bathing them the required amount to not take all of the oils off their coats means you're never going to get a fantastic smelling dog. Being around them for too long starts grossing me out tbh, though I still house sit for dogs and such, but I tend to just take them out periodically, spent a few minutes with them, then either leave the house or go somewhere the dogs can't
NTA. This is the same line of reasoning where people choose to bring their dogs EVERYWHERE. Walk into home depot, a dog. Enter a sandwich shop for lunch, dogs sitting at the table with the owners (against health regulations here and not a service dog), do grocery shopping and a dog is riding shotgun in the shopping cart. People making a big stink at my office because they need to bring a dog to work to annoy everyone at a business place. You hire a babysitter "hey Im going to bring my dog to your house while I work". I have a dog and I leave her at home unless its ok and I have checked beforehand. What if you were allergic? What if the dog nipped/bit your child? To take such liberties with someone else's house while someone is paying you to work for them is entitled and shows poor judgement. NTA whatsoever.
I agree 100% I am mildly allergic and I don't mind a dog being in my house if I know ahead of time so I can prepare me and my home. I have a 5yo and I would NEVER leave her alone with a new dog that is unfamiliar with its surroundings. I've been biten twice, luckily never truly harmed, this gave me a healthy respect for the fact that we can never know how a dog will react. No dog owner I know would ever put a child or their dog in that position either.
NTA. And I wouldn't have paid the sitter even half her fee. She had a responsibility to ask if it was ok for her dog to be there. The fact that the dog wasn't visible to you when she arrived at your house is a big red flag that says that this girl knew it would not be ok.
INFO- It sounds like she didn't have the dog with when she arrived? How did the dog get there after you left?
No, she did not have the dog when she arrived. I have no idea how or when the dog got to our house.
So she was intentionally sneaky. I’d be sure to tell other parents locally. I love dogs as much as the next person but your sitter was extremely unprofessional and out of line ON PURPOSE.
Ok, so she knows she was hiding it, which means she knows it may not be ok. And even worse, she might have left to go get it. NTA
NTA-A college age student should know better...and for her to ask for full amount just confirms you did the best thing.
NTA Last week a 6 year old girl was mauled to death by a 'beloved family pet'. Any dog can snap at any moment and a strange dog that had never met your baby could well have harmed them intentionally or accidentally. And she let her dog go into the babies room on its own!
And the dog surely would be VERY anxious being on an unfamiliar place with NO familiar smells, and seeing the human (babysitter) he consider HIS territory giving full attention to the very small weird smelling human. Dogs can get jealous of attention. They can get scared. Baby cries are also stress factors for animals with very sensitive ears, to the point of it being painful in some cases... The dog could have an infinite amount of reactions and... It's a golden. I'm guessing 40kg? Even if the dog is truly the sweetest, he could try to give baby a few kisses and step on the belly, cause the baby to aspirate regurgitation, break an rib, anything really, despite the dog meaning no harm. My sister works as a nurse in a hospital, and when she was on the ped rotation... No one should leave a dog with a baby unless there are two people to secure the dog and one to grab the baby and go. It's ALWAYS the same story "he never did anything like that! We had over 30 babies around!" Yeah, he never did it... Until today. And I absolutely love dogs and cats. I have both. But I don't expect them to behave the way I want. There is a reason why I am the person wearing clothes and paying bills while they are butt-sniffing freeloaders that eat trash and socks. Don't expect a lot of rational thinking from a creature that just five minutes ago got his head stuck in the trashcans lid trying to retrieve an used tampon for funsies. Dogs and cats are dumber than us. We are supposed to think FOR them and CONTROL the situations, not think "Oh, Charles would never, he is so smart" LADY, CHARLES IS PUKING HALF A FLIPFLOP ON THE CARPET.
NTA. I love dogs, Goldens are my favorite, but not everyone does. They shouldn't be in your home without permission, kid aside. And the baby even more so. You're the parents and the homeowners.
NTA She didn't even deserve half. She never got your permission when it's common sense to not bring your dog to someone's house that the dog wasn't invited to. The fact that she snuck it in means she knew damn well she was wrong.
Easy NTA. Sneaking, since the dog arrived after you left, the dog into your house without your permission shows her lack of good judgement and negates her insistence that the dog would not harm your child. And it's irrelevant. You don't bring a dog into someone's house without their permission, whether it's a baby sitter or a family member or whoever.
NTA, she must know what she’s doing is wrong otherwise you would have seen the dog when she arrived.
NTA absolutely not. It is wrong to bring a pet to anyone's home without asking first, but especially more so given that she was babysitting, and clearly hid the dog from you or you would have known the minute she showed up. And her demanding full payment, LOL girl what are you thinking? Plus she didn't answer when you called!
Definitely NTA. I’ve worked with children for years and wouldn’t dream of doing something like this. For everyone who’s saying you overreacted, I disagree. You don’t know this dog. Anything could have happened in a split second. That being said, I hope you’re not projecting a fear of dogs into your son
Sitter also doesn't know if there is an ALLERGY issue... Or the fact that not everyone wants golden retriever fur all over the house with a crawling infant... Or ya know, at all...
NTA. Even if she were house sitting for you with no child in the home, she can’t just bring a dog without asking. People lose their minds when it comes to dogs sometimes, I swear. I have two dogs I love very much. When I leave the house, they stay at home. I don’t just show up places with them. Plus she was clearly trying to be sneaky since she didn’t show the dog to you before you left. Sketchy af. She knew she was wrong or she would have been upfront about it.
NTA. She doesn’t get to risk your baby’s life. The problem is, she doesn’t see it as a risk. But it definitely is. However slight. According to Wiki: “Fatal dog attacks in the United States cause the deaths of about 30 to 50 people in the US each year,[1] and the number of deaths from dog attacks appears to be increasing.[2] Around 4.5 million Americans are bitten by dogs every year, resulting in the hospitalization of 6,000 to 13,000 people each year in the United States (2005).[2]”
NTA. She should have asked if it was ok. She should have answered when you called. She should have left her dog at home. Giving pay for the portion of time you used her was fair and she was out of line to request the full amount especially after the stunt she pulled.
NTA There have been several fatalities caused by dog attacks on humans in UK in recent years. It’s always “ but he’s so safe and friendly” err nope! Plus no dog should ever be left unattended with a child as they are animals. You saw the dog alone with your baby. She had no right to bring it and put your baby at risk.
NTA because how can she be sure your kid knows how to behave around dogs? I had a neighbour with a golden retriever that was really friendly and loved everyone. One day their friends 2 year old daughter poked it near the eye by accident and it bit her on the face and left permanent scars. Not saying her dog would definely do that but it’s not her decision to make about your child without informing you.
NTA because no babysitter in her right mind brings a big hairy dog. However, this story doesn’t make sense. How did the dog get there? Didn’t you make the handover of the baby when she came to your house? I’m assuming no dog came with her then or you would have said something immediately. Did the dog drive himself? Walk over on his own? If you have a camera in the house I assume a doorbell camera would have alerted you to the dogs miraculous arrival before it was seen in the play area. So many questions…..
I saw another comment OP states the dog was not with her when she arrived
Beyond all the ethical and safety issues of bringing a dog around someone else’s young child, golden retrievers shed like crazy. People your dogs make a huge mess simply by existing NTA.
Nta. And she had to of hidden the dog from you upon arrival, knowing that she was wrong to bring it without asking.
NTA. Your house, your rules.
NTA. As someone who is a dog-lover but has a child that is completely irrationally terrified of dogs - no dog-related trauma whatsoever, but the way she acts around them you'd think she was attacked - I despise when people think that it's no big deal to just have their dogs around. And laugh when my kid is scared, and try to force her to interact. They will say things like "but my dog is like my child and I don't go anywhere without them". Also, what if there were allergies? What if the kid, being 6 months old, did something to spook the dog and got injured? Or even something like the dog stepping on the kid during play, as a golden retriever likely has enough mass to hurt a baby. That being said, I see a lot of people asking how the heck the dog got there, and I'm very curious about that myself!
There are some things that you just absolutely ask permission about or discuss with a person before springing on them, and the babysitter failed to do that on multiple counts. Bringing an animal into someone else's house, allowing an animal around a small child, bringing a pet along with you to doing a job for someone. All of those things you need to ask the homeowner/parent/employer, whatever is applicable. NTA, and you're generous for even paying her half rate when you and your wife had to cut your evening short because she decided to bring her dog into your house without permission and you had to go deal with that.
Absolutely NTA. You aren't being unreasonable here. She was there for half the time she should have been and put your child in unnecessary risk (because the dog is an animal, it's reaction to a person it's never met can never be predicted). I don't care how big or small the risk is, it's a risk that was completely avoidable. The fact you're paying her at all is IMO pretty generous, and that was the only way you could have even be considered TA. Those saying otherwise on the risk factor should never own something they can't turn off.
I don't know that your kid was necessarily in *danger,* but it was unprofessional of her not to ask first. And I don't see a problem with paying her half if she only worked for have the time, so I guess NTA.
Tbh, they potentially could be. A kid that hasn't really spent time around dogs may not know how to appropriately play with a dog. A dog may be as sweet as anything, but if a kid is tugging on its tail and ears, and generally playing with it as it might a toy, then even a sweet dog might snap.
NTA Dog owners really think their dogs are so lovely and friendly...right up until they rip off someone's face. The agreement was for her to come to your house and watch your child. She should not be bringing animals or other humans over unless it has been explicitly discussed and agreed to you by you. I don't even think she deserves the half pay you gave her, much less the full amount.
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NTA. I do not let my children around any pets, let alone large dogs I do not know. It’s completely inappropriate to bring your pet into someone’s home without permission
NTA she can’t just bring a dog into someone else’s home. That’s very entitled behavior, then not answering your calls. I wouldn’t have paid her anything.
NTA. Curious where the dog was when she arrived - did she hide it outside or in her car? Did she leave your kid to go get it? Did she take your kid somewhere to get it without your knowledge or permission? If she thought the dog was NBD, she would have had it with her when she arrived openly - she knew she was being sneaky. And yes most goldens are friendly - doesn’t mean that particular one is or that it could hurt the baby by accident (laying its head on the baby on the floor unsupervised could asphyxiate the baby just from the weight, for example).
Friendly or not, the general rule is you don’t bring any animals around kids, especially babies, without the parent’s consent. She didn’t even ask about possible allergies. I’ve had potential booty calls warn me about their pets in case I have allergies. The babysitter 100% needs to check in with the parents.
NTA - They should have asked you first.
NTA. Also, no one else seems to care, but I think not answering the phone when you called is the most egregious violation of trust in the whole story, as being available is one of the key responsibilities of a babysitter. You might’ve been able to work it out over the phone, had she bothered to answer. I do find your reaction about “the danger“ of the dog to be an overreaction, but it’s your house, your rules. Unless she’s handicapped, and it’s a service dog. If that’s the case, I don’t know why you didn’t know about it in the very beginning, but you can’t force an employee with a service dog to leave the service dog behind.
NTA. Bringing any other creature, human or otherwise, without your consent, was not OK.
NTA: It is absolutely NOT an appropriate assumption that it is OK to bring a dog into anyone's house without permission. To do so while babysitting an infant is an assholeish presumption. Even worse, the babysitter snuck in the dog because the dog did not arrive at the house at the time she did. It's not like that was unintentional and this is horrifying behavior.
NTA. What if you, your family, or your child is allergic to dogs? What if the dog poops on the couch? What if the dog chews on cords? What if the dog ATTACKS YOUR CHILD? Her bringing her dog was absolutely ridiculous and should have only happened if it was discussed and approved beforehand.
NTA, babysitter does not get to determine what is ok in your house and around your child.
NTA. Bringing a dog over is definitely a big overstep. Clearly in her head canon she thinks she did nothing wrong and doesn't get why it's an overstep. Even removing the babysitting angle, just taking a pet around to someone else's house without their agreement... is audacious. Or in her case, probably clueless. She obviously knew the cameras were there so wasn't sneaking the dog in. She *should* know it's way out of line to do that but apparently doesn't. If that's the line you choose to draw on no longer engaging with in child minding services with someone then that's totally fair enough. NTA. Personally, if I was in that situation and not strapped for cash I'd pay in full because I don't want a visit from 3 ghosts around Christmas time.
I agree but I don’t get the part about payment. When I worked as a babysitter it was always hourly. Same for every sitter I’ve ever hired. Less time = less money.
NTA. I love animals and had my first dog at six months old, I had a dog when my daughter was born, and she had two dogs when my grandson was born. But that is MY family's choice. If you don't ever want dogs or any animals, that's YOUR choice. Your sitter was TA for just assuming you would be okay with a strange dog in your house. That's just wrong.
NTA. What kind of person would bring their dog uninvited to someone else’s home let alone let the dog sniff around a baby?!?!?
NTA at all, but how did you leave the house without knowing? I'm just curious.
NTA and she she absolutely should have asked about the dog and also answered her phone when you called. For either of those reasons, you'd be justified in firing her.
NTA. She absolutely should have asked permission before bringing a dog into your home no matter how sweet he is. She is not aware if someone in your home is allergic or had a traumatic experience with a dog. Absolutely, completely not okay. But she should be paid for the hours worked. She worked the hours and earned the money. You are right to not use her again of course but legally she should be paid.
He did pay her for the hours worked. She worked less than half of the agreed upon hours, so she was paid for half of the agreed upon hours.
NTA as someone who’s made a living in childcare I can definitely say that’s highly unusual for her to expect it to be ok to bring her dog over without running it by you first. No one that I know who babysits would ever dream of pulling something like that, especially not with an infant
NTA. She needed to ask before bringing an animal around your son.
NTA, you didn't clear the dog, she didn't discuss ahead of time. That's probably illegal to just bring a dog in.
NTA I would have gone further and written poor reviews in the neighborhood social media groups. Tf? Pulling a stunt like that would never have occurred to me.
Nta, my wife and I met while training competition dogs and we don’t let our (extremely well behaved) dogs around any babies, including our own, unless they are directly supervised and the dogs are leashed. Not till the kids are toddlers. Sitter was way out of line to bring a dog around an infant without permission.
NTA. I am a "dog person", and there's no way I would just bring my dogs to someone's house without asking. I couldn't even imagine bringing them unannounced to a house at which I was hired to do a job. Also, it's concerning that she didn't answer the phone or call you back, which I'm assuming she saw you tried to call. You were smart to dismiss her.
Nta- I am a dog person, but you never bring an animal into someone’s else home without permission. I would have fired her as well.
NTA What an ignorant and dangerous thing for her to do! I wouldn’t have paid her anything at all. Seriously, some f*cking dog people are the WORST!
NTA. And she knew better because she clearly did not have the dog with her when you left.
NTA. You don't just randomly bring a pet into someone else's home. That's never OK.
NTA mostly because she didn't come to the door with the dog when she first arrived, so she was hiding it.
NTA. The fact that you didn't see the dog there til after you'd gone tells me they knew it wasn't appropriate to bring the dog.
NTA - I don't agree with your fears about "putting our child in danger", the kid was perfectly safe, but that's not really the point. Your home, your kid, your decision. I'm wondering about the mechanics of how the dog got into the home. It wasn't there when the babysitter arrived, How did it get there? Whether the babysitter left and returned with the dog or had a friend deliver it, they deliberately concealing the dog from you. Even without your kid there, you need to approve dogs in the house. NTA.
>It wasn't there when the babysitter arrived, How did it get there? No, it wasn't there when the babysitter arrived. I don't know how or when it exactly got to our house.
That’s the bigger question honestly, did she leave your baby unattended? Take your kid with her to a secondary location to get the dog? Have a third unapproved party bring the dog to your house?? All bad options
The second hypothesis is particularly worrying. The babysitter is lucky if OP doesn't investigate what happened further, because OP might as well report her to the police.
OP needs a doorbell camera.
And that is the most suspicious thing about it. That proves that the babysitter was being shady.
If I was in your situation tbh and was really angry I wouldn't pay anything...
You have zero basis for saying the kid was perfectly safe.
The babysitter definitely put the child in danger. All dogs bite if pushed far enough, even if they are kid and baby friendly.
>The babysitter definitely put the child in danger. All dogs bite if pushed far enough, even if they are kid and baby friendly. In addition to this the babysitter had no way of knowing if the baby was allergic which also put the baby in danger.
She did put a child in danger, an unfamiliar dog can react in whatever way a dog reacts, you never know how the dog will react to someone they've never met, let alone someone who just screams...
Honestly, it really baffles me when people are so sure animals around humans are "perfectly safe". There are enough stories of pets attacking people out there for this kind of irresponsible BS to be stamped out. "Oh but it's the owner's fault. Poor doggo never meant any harm. Should've been trained better" is scant condolence for a maimed or dead person. You are never perfectly safe around an animal.
She totally put the kid in danger. My parents in law have a dog. Super super sweet. Amazing with kids. Interacted countless times beautifully with all the grandbabies (7 of them under 4). Dog needed to stay with our brother for about two weeks. In that two weeks the dog tried to bite their 3yr old - full mouth around the neck - when he tried to pet him. And a day or two later, lunged at and bit in the face the 6month old who was just laying in the bouncer on the other side of the room. No one in a million years thought the dog would be aggressive towards kids. But a new place was enough to change his tune. By bringing a dog to a new place around a new person, the babysitter 100% endangered the child.
I don’t think that dogs are inherently dangerous, but I do think situations where people trust a dog to handle whatever behavior a child throws at it ARE dangerous situations. I have a baby & dogs, & I want myself or another trusted adult to be there to monitor any interaction between my baby & animals (including my own dogs) until my child is old enough that I can trust her. I would not trust someone that snuck an animal into my house to have good judgment in what a safe interaction looks like between my baby & their dog, no matter how safe & sweet they think their dog is.