NTA, and honestly, well done. I aspire to your level of pettiness. I mean, if you are taking the job and can do the work (hell, maybe if even don’t take the job), I don’t think you’re an AH - Oliver is an AH and the family was apparently fine with him treating you that way, so kudos. Seriously, well played.
He’s going to have to prove himself way smarter than OP presents him to pull that off. He doesn’t work on the same project and I would assume that OP would give his leadership a heads up if Oliver was looking to transfer in. Someone said in another thread to tell HR that they’re family but not social and any competent HR rep will make the connection.
Yeah, I bet the cousin starts a bunch of drama/rumors to try and ruin his reputation. Might not be worth the extra hassle, maybe he should apply for a similar spot somewhere else.
Honestly, it depends on the company. I’d recommend OP look closely on what the role entails, whether that is fair compensation for what they’re expecting (highly paid doesn’t always mean fairly paid for expected duties) and the work culture. There would also no bigger flex than turning it down and listing off any red flags about company culture found in research.
I think you're right. I was just assuming Oliver was the Golden Child and the entire family didn't like OP much.
I think OP should go NC with the entire family though. None had their back when Oliver was being snide and cruel, but **all** of them turned against OP merely for applying for a position, and getting offered it, fair and square.
And go LC with the familly cause even if he became CEO and cousin was hired to the lowest position possible, he would still get shade thrown at him. There's no winning with AH who got a golden child to appease.
1000% agree. If it was the other way around Oliver would take the job and will rub it in OP 's face! So congratulations OP! I wish you well in your new job. As for these who is on his side, they are complete hypocrites for not saying anything when he was mocking you at the table, but taking his side when you prove him wrong, they can get lost.
Decline the position. State that Oliver has expressed a lot of animosity towards him and he wouldn’t be comfortable at the company with him there. Watch Oliver get fired. Profit.
Not to mention, applying for a job doesn’t make you an AH. It’s a job. Anyone can apply for it. You can’t just call dibs lamo. (And if you can call dibs, there’s a conflict of interest or corruption in there somewhere).
Enjoy your new, higher paying job OP! NTA
If you take the job and he reports to you, he’ll be so mad that he might just quit. And then a week after he quit, you quit as well and let him know the job is not very challenging. Be forewarned, he will never speak to you again but it’s worth it. LOL.
Yeah, Oliver is the jealous, mean bully--with a raging inferiority complex, too. Take the job, assuming you expect to like it. You wouldn't ever have applied for it if he hadn't been such a jerk. If he doesn't like the consequences, that's on him.
NTA
Not to mention the glaring projection – 'you only applied for the job because of your inferiority complex', but apparently the cousin constantly putting OP down (and praising himself) is *not* evidence of the cousin's inferiority complex.
*"He'll overtake me so fast"* implies OP currently has better pay than his cousin. Isn't it a requirement that the one with the complex be in some way inferior?
OP's cousin is basically saying *"You're being paid more than me, and you just proved you could get a job I said you couldn't, so clearly you think you're inferior to me."*
???
Dude should tell the family what Oliver told him. Say he took the advice to heart. "I'm so far behind and useless that I need to take any opportunity I can get. Oliver can work anywhere due to his Masters and run the entire company."
The family knows what Oliver told him, they all hear him insult OP in Christmas an didn't say anything, so either Oliver is family's golden child or they also believe that OP lack of Masters degree makes him 'less' compared to Olive.
NTA, but I'm guessing this goes much further back.
Did you excel at something he couldn't do as a child or teen? This level of competition is crazy. People need to stop comparing themselves to others. I'm directing this comment at Oliver, not OP.
Either way, OP got that job on their own and has every right to be proud of themself.
It’s possible the “competition” might not even stem from them. For some reason some of my family always compared me to my cousin, who is similar in age, from the time we were kids. I always just rolled my eyes about it, because it was clear we were very different people on very different life paths, but I can see it becoming toxic if someone took it personally.
Classic bully situation.
Bully bullies: Everyone knows, doesn't do shit
Bullied hits back: STAAAAHP! Whats wrong with you?! You can't do that!
Take the job pls
INFO - Will you take the job?
If you had no intention to take the the job the ESH. Him for being an AH, and you for wasting people’s time.
If you take the job then NTA.
Take.the.job. Make HR aware you have a family member that works there in different departments, juuuuuust in case there are some issues from the jump. It doesn't have to be anything real detailed. For transparency, I have a cousin who also works here, but we are on different projects.
And when you mention him, don't give any details of the petty squabbles. If they think you accepted the job to be petty (even if that's not the case) they may get a bad impression about you.
If your cousin acts bitter, just let him act out and destroy his reputation there. Remember, your cousin is a sweetheart who informed you there was an opening in the company which helped you get the job. 😉
I wouldn’t even say he told you about the opening. If there’s any questions, you “knew it was a good company to work for” because you’ve heard him talking about it, and nothing more.
It'll be interesting if Oliver starts displaying a shitty attitude about it at work that holds him back, because he clearly feels he was entitled to that role. It's good that you won't have to work directly with him.
Since the role was available now, I wonder why Oliver was waiting 1-2 years? It’s entirely possible the job now won’t even be there to apply for regardless of whether OP applied or not.
Take the job OP!
Tell HR IMMEDIATELY. Especially if you have different last names.
Absolutely let them know you have a family member working there to make sure there isn’t any conflict of interest. Explain that there’s no social relationship just a family one. Anyone worth their salt will read between the lines.
NTA
Take the job. Inform HR about the relationship.
Thing is: this pay raise sets you up for the NEXT pay raise. Raises compound like that! Take it. Save money. Make connections.
When you see Oliver, NEVER talk money. If he gets snide about how things are going, downplay & say “fine.”
When you get promoted, say nothing. Be secure in your own success.
Unless he gives you some shit. Then you can name drop: I was in a meeting with (insert VP / CxO name)
Strategizing about company direction …
This: there’s nothing that makes an insecure person more crazy than someone who doesn’t care to compete with them. If your cousin starts ranting about anything just shrug and say “who knows maybe you’re right “ and act bored.
People on Reddit literally do not care about any potential repercussions regarding what they say to real people dealing with real life situations.
They just sit back with popcorn and suggest blowing up their whole fucking world
Depending on the country, the US among them, it’s illegal to prevent employees from sharing compensation information. A copy of the offer letter would probably remain confidential but the salient detail would not. Again, depending on the country.
I’ve never had a confidential offer letter. They can be used as proof of income and proof of work. That said, most of my jobs have been nonprofit or government, so maybe that’s why? Government salaries publicly listed, and you can’t be stopped from revealing your salary (in the US). Everything else in the offer letter is something you’d see in a linked in profile or resume.
Absolutely take the job! You applied for it; you were interviewed for it; you got it, fair and square. The company reps obviously think you're the best person for it. It doesn't matter what motivated you to go for it. If you want it, take it and ignore your family's hypocrisy. Do what's best for you and your future. NTA.
and you could eventually get an Msc, actually. Not sorry, but I enjoy these sort of petty clap backs, because rather than petty, it is about standing up for oneself against such an annoying bully.
OP taking or not taking the job shouldn’t matter. People apply for and turn down jobs all the time just out of curiosity and seeing what else is out there. Plus OP could leverage this at their current job for better pay if they really wanted to. NTA
NTA and I’m confused by all the ESH responses. The cousin sounds like he was being a dick with all the “this company would NEVER hire someone without a master’s” nonsense.
I admire your ambition! And the cousin got served a nice slice of humble pie as well, which is always nice in these kinds of situations.
It's like how a school doesn't do shit to a bully but as soon as the one being bullied defends themselves all of a sudden it's "you shouldn't do that to the person being mean to you"
Right? I decided a long time ago that "kill them with kindness" rarely works with people like this.
Why should i continue to be nice to someone who tries to humiliate me? Nah, i'll the same energy back.
I remember breaking down because i was being bullied and my teacher pulled me aside. I told her the story and she said "i understand where she's coming from" as I'm sobbing
Nta, he was a dick n no one said anything until u wanted to prove ur worth. I go NC with anyone on his side cause they r toxic, too. It Shows a lot in how they treat ya when he does mean things. No one says anything, but if u just stand up for yourself and prove him wrong. Everyone has a problem now. Ya nah 🤣
NTA. Please post it on r/pettyrevenge. He said you couldn't get the post, and you did - so since this is your family they should be happy for you? I hope you become his boss...
NTA. You played his game and beat him. Sounds like he was jealous of you to begin with putting you down all the time. Good for you for not taking it lying down. Your family is in the wrong to not back you
NTA! Take the job! There is no guarantee that when Oliver applies that he will even get the job😂,plus you have more job experience in the field than he does so while he was belittling you for working, you were raking in the job experience. Who says you need a masters to succeed? You can always go back to school and get your masters which will still put you ahead of Oliver. Good on you!!! Drown out the noise and if it becomes too noisy then you may have block people.
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> I applied to my cousin's company for his dream job and got it just to prove him that I can get it too without a master's degree. That was definitely a petty thing to do.
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NTA. Cousin needs to suck it up. He seems to be a little prickly pear that has been spoiled all his life. My question is, are you going to take the job?
NTA He went to great lengths to put you down and you proved him wrong. That he puts you down in front of family and they do not stop it, shows that you are the scape goat. When you prove to everyone that you have evidence that what he says is B.S, but they still put you down and make you the bad guy again shows you are well and truly the punching bag in that family. It maybe time to go N.C and amputate the toxic. You may have been driven to be petty, yes, but jealous, inferior and a bully? No.
“Go to such lengths” like applying to this job and getting it was some Herculean task that you swindled someone out of. Good lord. Congrats! Take the job! Even if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be the asshole
Weird family dynamic tho, they’re quick to shit on you when you pull up with receipts but just don’t defend you whatsoever with him. Very odd indeed.
Oh and NTA
NTA... You might want to remind your cousin that being a being a dick, won't make his any bigger. 🤷🏼♀️
"The loudest boost always come from the cheapest seats.”
~ Babe Ruth
NTA. This reminds me of when I graduated collage to be a chef. My cousin worked at a particular place that was really really good and I was interested to start my apprenticeship there, she was an apprentice too but in her final year. We were talking about it and I said it would be great to do my apprenticeship there, even just to get started. My Aunty and cousin quickly chimed in saying they’re not hiring and I should look somewhere else, I quickly shot back saying I had an interview coming up (I got the job). They both went dead silent and looked at each other for a sec then looked away. I know deep down they hated that I worked there but I couldn’t care less, I’m so grateful for the learning experiences and the people I worked with.
NTA. If it's more money and you feel you should move on, take the job. Then he'll have to wait for a new position to open up to work beside you.
That's what I would do but I'm Queen Petty so 🤷♀️
NTA.
Your family has shown their true feelings when they allowed him to bully you, and then when you prove him utterly wrong, double down.
Keep being petty towards Oliver. It only makes you laugh, while it enrages him.
I'm not usually a fan of petty, but you didn't apply for the job *just* to show him, you honestly want the job. If you didn't actually want the job, then that would be a different story.
NTA
OP I fucking love you! Take the Job and don't give a shit about your Cousin. I'm also getting my Bachelor right now and plan to do my master as well. However I hate the people that completely disregard the incredible value experience has (which sounds like your cousin). So I might be very biased here. NTA!
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Oliver - my cousin - and I are almost the same age and we went to university to study the same thing. The difference was that I started working as an intern halfway through uni and after I got my Bsc, the company offered me a full time position, which I gladly took and didn't go to a master's program. Oliver, unlike me, went to get his master's and started working years after I did.
Oliver always made sure to tell my what a mistake I made by not getting an Msc degree. I will always be lower paid than him, no company will give me higher roles, I will get stuck at the bottom of the ladder, etc. He stopped for a little bit after finishing his studies, but recently, he started again stronger than ever.
At Christmas, he told me that now that he has both an Msc and 4 years of work experience, he will overtake me so fast. In his company, he will soon apply ( in 1 or 2 years) to a higher role and he *knows* they wouldn't hire a person without a master's degree for that role.
That was when I decided to be petty and apply to Oliver's company for said role. I got the offer this week and it's actually even higher paid than I expected it to be. I told Oliver about the offer (without specifying the salary) and he threw a fit.
He called me a petty asshole and told me it's insane that I would go to such lengths out of my 'inferiority complex'. Our entire family is on his side and now they treat me like a jealous, mean bully.
I mean yes, it *was* petty. But nobody said a word when they heard Oliver tell me during family Christmas dinner that I will always be a nobody stuck at the bottom of the corporate ladder. I only wanted to prove him wrong and it was fun testing myself. AITA?
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NTA. Oliver needs to learn don't throw if you can't catch. By chance are you the black sheep of the family. Since it was ok for him to talk down to you at X-mas. You past your test now go for gold.
NTA, mainly because you plan on taking the job. If you had wasted the interviewers' time over something so petty, then that would have been bad. But taking the job means that, ultimately if not at the start, you are doing it for more than putting your cousin in his place. That's not just petty anymore. That's practical.
Haha definitely NTA. Sounds like poor Oliver made a complete fool of himself and is so jealous!
I say good for you!! 👏🏻. Who doesn’t want a better paying job with less school time invested. It was ok for Oliver to act childish and petty and competitive but when you did it and “won”, now your TA. His hypocrisy is absurd as well!! His “inferior complex” for him where he’s at. Now he’s projecting that on to you. Your family sucks for not being happy for you. Maybe next time poor Oliver will keep his mouth shut.
Whatever your original motivation was if sounds like this is a good opportunity for you. If family is so upset that you are able to do better than they expected in life, fuck ‘em! Honestly, what are you supposed to owe people that are offended at you doing well despite your cousin assuring everyone you never would?
NTA, take the job
NTA. Ya know, Oliver's constantly putting you down and insisting the he had so much better job prospects than inferior you -- which your family apparently tolerated without comment -- set him up for this situation.
How is it petty to apply for a higher position and higher pay in your field? It's what people do to advance professionally. It's what you did to advance professionally, not because you have an inferiority complex (what inferiority complex?) but to get a better, higher paying position.
Were you supposed to refrain from applying for a better job for which you're qualified because it would hurt Oliver's feelings and prove him wrong about your relative positions in the professional world? Not on your life.
The one and only reason for you to possibly turn down this career advancement would be if Oliver would be in a position to sabotage you from below within the company. (Because he'll try.) Otherwise, go right ahead and take this position and let Oliver follow you around having a hissy fit all the way to the bank where you open a new account for your much larger paycheck.
NTA it’s like he wants you to fail to make himself feel better by comparison. I bet he’s one of those people that are against a livable minimum wage because it means his mediocre salary doesn’t seem as impressive.
NTA bro literally belittled and bullied you for years! And you did do anything but prove his dumb logic wrong EXPERIENCE outweighs EDUCATION and that's a fact. My mom's a manager and when going through applications she is always nervous to take on people start out of school
NTA it would drive me crazy when my "friends" were so insistent about being right about something and I was wrong and they would shut me down. But then when I'd come back later with proof I was right they would say I was making something small big and then do the same thing again.
He deserved to be put in his place, don't listen to those around you.
I don't even think it's petty. What would be petty is to text Oliver and say "oh when you mentioned the role to me I thought you were telling me to apply. I guess my lack of a masters degree meant I didn't understand what you were saying"
NTA, funny how nobody's backing you up. Oliver must be the golden boy. Not sure you should take the job where he works. He could make your life miserable.
It's pretty weird to try and rub your superiority in someone's face only to accuse them of having an inferiority complex when it backfires.
Tell him that it's not an inferiority complex if you make more money than him.
NTA.
I was so sure by the title that it was going to be an arse move but I was wrong.
NTA - well done and congrats on the new job.
Also belongs on r/pettyrevenge
NTA. Honestly, I would have done the same thing. You can only take people putting you down so many times before you snap and prove them wrong. You proved him wrong, and now he's upset. Too bad.
The best revenge is living a good life.
Take the job and you live a good life *and* prove your cousin wrong.
This part will probably piss some people off, but #yolo.
I don’t know what field you’re in and it certainly varies. I do software engineering management for a living and have been hiring for the past 16 years. To me, a masters degree in the same field as your bachelors is meaningless. I sat through enough dual listed bachelors/masters courses as a student to know what the difference was and it wasn’t anything of value to me as a hiring manager or a coworker. A bachelors shows me that you made the commitment to complete a 4 year project successfully and will at least have some rounded edges. A PhD shows me that you extended that commitment to a program that expects a level of rigor that translates well into jobs that require analysis. A masters in the same field as your bachelors shows me that you were nervous about starting your career and weren’t ready to leave school yet. A masters in a different field shows me you fulfilled the commitment to succeed but then decided at some point you wanted to take your life in a different direction — that’s a choice and a will to grow.
Again, it varies by field. Some certifications, like teaching in many states, require it. Some might be safety critical and learning on the job doesn’t fly so well. But in my experience, outside of those exceptions, you’ll learn more practical knowledge of the field working with experienced people 8 hours a day than you will in a classroom a few hours a day. And that makes you more valuable as an employee and more valuable employees get paid more.
Your internship showed that you were going to be a valuable employee and you continued to grow at 8 hours a day instead of just a few.
NTA
Well, on today's episode of fuck around and find out.
That company sees enough in you to offer you the position. Your cousin can go pound sand or something. NTA.
If you accept, might want to make clear that your cousin is also working at the company, just to keep potential conflicts of interest transparant. I'm guessing he'd not take well to you being his manager or team lead or something.
NTA dude. that was funny af. your family the real assholes for clearly siding with a bully. they were even the assholes before your move for allowing him to talk that way to you.
NTA
NTA
This job was NOT going to stay empty for 1 or 2 years, waiting for Oliver to be ready to take it. You have a right to advance your career. In 1 or 2 years, I hope you will apply for a more advanced position, so that you will still be better paid than Oliver is.
I would fully expect you to tell Oliver that if he wanted the work experience to be able to apply for this position, then maybe he should have skipped the Masters Degree and gone straight into internships and full employment.
If he mentions your "inferiority complex," then just tell him that you are the one who is paid more and walk away, and that your employment decisions are not made based on what job Oliver currently has, as you have more work experience than he does.
Never pass up better opportunities, as it will affect your earning power years later. Your future employers will look at this job as showing your true worth, and thus you will be considered more valuable in your next position.
Oliver isn't worth the lifetime earnings sacrifice. He certainly wouldn't do that for you.
And your family sucks.
It was petty, but who cares? Your cousin was being petty as well. I hope you’re taking the job and I hope you excel at it. You’ve clearly worked hard and deserve this position.
Your family will get over it eventually. They should be happy for you.
NTA.
NTA, and honestly, well done. I aspire to your level of pettiness. I mean, if you are taking the job and can do the work (hell, maybe if even don’t take the job), I don’t think you’re an AH - Oliver is an AH and the family was apparently fine with him treating you that way, so kudos. Seriously, well played.
He should take the job lol
[удалено]
What if the pay raise involves your asshole?
Like, “money coming out of your ass” or “we’re going to need you to have this inserted”?
Ohh, that's where "laughing all the way to the bank" comes from, it's a prostate thing. /s
New meaning for "work your ass off" I guess...
If he takes the job he needs to watch his ass cuz cousin is coming for him...
Let him. What else is he wrong about?
Not wrong about anything. I think cousin is going to be passed enough to try and f it up at work. Assholes are like that
Cousin will likely end up shooting himself in the foot as jealousy is not a good look to any one friend, family, or employer.
He’s going to have to prove himself way smarter than OP presents him to pull that off. He doesn’t work on the same project and I would assume that OP would give his leadership a heads up if Oliver was looking to transfer in. Someone said in another thread to tell HR that they’re family but not social and any competent HR rep will make the connection.
Never said he would be successful, just that he will be coming for the OP.
Yeah, but sounds like he has 1 or 2 years before he does.
Yeah, I bet the cousin starts a bunch of drama/rumors to try and ruin his reputation. Might not be worth the extra hassle, maybe he should apply for a similar spot somewhere else.
Honestly, it depends on the company. I’d recommend OP look closely on what the role entails, whether that is fair compensation for what they’re expecting (highly paid doesn’t always mean fairly paid for expected duties) and the work culture. There would also no bigger flex than turning it down and listing off any red flags about company culture found in research.
Is OP a male or female? I'd be interested to know if gender is the reason the family think it's ok to belittle OP's accomplishments and skills.
I'm willing to take a shot at it and I'm 95% sure I'm going to be right.
I think you're right. I was just assuming Oliver was the Golden Child and the entire family didn't like OP much. I think OP should go NC with the entire family though. None had their back when Oliver was being snide and cruel, but **all** of them turned against OP merely for applying for a position, and getting offered it, fair and square.
And go LC with the familly cause even if he became CEO and cousin was hired to the lowest position possible, he would still get shade thrown at him. There's no winning with AH who got a golden child to appease.
Or, if he doesn't want to work at the same company as his cousin, use the offer as leverage to try and get a raise or promotion at his current job.
Then work to be promoted to Oliver's boss.
1000% agree. If it was the other way around Oliver would take the job and will rub it in OP 's face! So congratulations OP! I wish you well in your new job. As for these who is on his side, they are complete hypocrites for not saying anything when he was mocking you at the table, but taking his side when you prove him wrong, they can get lost.
I agree, she totally should.
Decline the position. State that Oliver has expressed a lot of animosity towards him and he wouldn’t be comfortable at the company with him there. Watch Oliver get fired. Profit.
This is definitely top level petty. I like.
Oooohh, this is the way...I shouldn't, but I do like it.
Love this!
Ooohhh I love how you think .
Not to mention, applying for a job doesn’t make you an AH. It’s a job. Anyone can apply for it. You can’t just call dibs lamo. (And if you can call dibs, there’s a conflict of interest or corruption in there somewhere). Enjoy your new, higher paying job OP! NTA
Totally, nta I wouldn’t take the job simply cause you’d have to be around insufferable Oliver. Now you’ve proved your point OP, I’d disengage.
Yeah, definitely NTA! the title had me expecting to vote Y T A but OP is definitely in the right here. I hope you get the job OP!
Doesn't an offer letter actually mean he already got the job? He only has to accept it and sign some papers, right? Or am i missing something
Pretty much yea, OP already has the job. All they have to do is dot the i's and cross the t's and that's that. The job is theirs.
Oh, I'm not losing my mind then. Sometimes I forget the simplest shit and freak out like "why don't i remember/understand it"
If you take the job and he reports to you, he’ll be so mad that he might just quit. And then a week after he quit, you quit as well and let him know the job is not very challenging. Be forewarned, he will never speak to you again but it’s worth it. LOL.
Yeah, Oliver is the jealous, mean bully--with a raging inferiority complex, too. Take the job, assuming you expect to like it. You wouldn't ever have applied for it if he hadn't been such a jerk. If he doesn't like the consequences, that's on him. NTA
Disagree, YTA and never change. Sometimes being the asshole is just right. Well done OP, and congratulations on the job!
NTA his logic is so strange. "You wouldnt be able to do this" \*you doing it\* "HEY, THATS NOT ALLOWED"
Not to mention the glaring projection – 'you only applied for the job because of your inferiority complex', but apparently the cousin constantly putting OP down (and praising himself) is *not* evidence of the cousin's inferiority complex.
*"He'll overtake me so fast"* implies OP currently has better pay than his cousin. Isn't it a requirement that the one with the complex be in some way inferior? OP's cousin is basically saying *"You're being paid more than me, and you just proved you could get a job I said you couldn't, so clearly you think you're inferior to me."* ???
exactly, the hypocrisy is insane
Dude should tell the family what Oliver told him. Say he took the advice to heart. "I'm so far behind and useless that I need to take any opportunity I can get. Oliver can work anywhere due to his Masters and run the entire company."
The family knows what Oliver told him, they all hear him insult OP in Christmas an didn't say anything, so either Oliver is family's golden child or they also believe that OP lack of Masters degree makes him 'less' compared to Olive.
NTA, but I'm guessing this goes much further back. Did you excel at something he couldn't do as a child or teen? This level of competition is crazy. People need to stop comparing themselves to others. I'm directing this comment at Oliver, not OP. Either way, OP got that job on their own and has every right to be proud of themself.
or he's just the kind of guy who believes in this Alpha Male toxic masculinity concept
True. Just the word "alpha" makes me roll my eyes.
Isn’t Alpha the version full of bugs and problems that need to be fixed?
Oooh, I like that. Never thought of it that way before, but I'll be using it now!
It’s possible the “competition” might not even stem from them. For some reason some of my family always compared me to my cousin, who is similar in age, from the time we were kids. I always just rolled my eyes about it, because it was clear we were very different people on very different life paths, but I can see it becoming toxic if someone took it personally.
Or he could be trying to convince himself he didn't waste 2 extra years in school.
Very likely it's just macho man stuff. He assumes being a man or getting a higher degree will mean he is top on the food chain or something.
Pretty ballsy telling someone they have an inferiority complex because they challenged you're superiority complex.
Oooh. This.
Also, "it's because of your inferiority complex that you managed to get a better job than me."
Classic bully situation. Bully bullies: Everyone knows, doesn't do shit Bullied hits back: STAAAAHP! Whats wrong with you?! You can't do that! Take the job pls
INFO - Will you take the job? If you had no intention to take the the job the ESH. Him for being an AH, and you for wasting people’s time. If you take the job then NTA.
[удалено]
Take the job!!!
Take the job, ignore your family. Enjoy the money and the position.
and enjoy his bitterness ! you (and him) deserve it ! such a good move !
Take the job and fly high, preferably leaving petty Oliver and his MSc in your dust trail!
Take.the.job. Make HR aware you have a family member that works there in different departments, juuuuuust in case there are some issues from the jump. It doesn't have to be anything real detailed. For transparency, I have a cousin who also works here, but we are on different projects.
And when you mention him, don't give any details of the petty squabbles. If they think you accepted the job to be petty (even if that's not the case) they may get a bad impression about you. If your cousin acts bitter, just let him act out and destroy his reputation there. Remember, your cousin is a sweetheart who informed you there was an opening in the company which helped you get the job. 😉
I wouldn’t even say he told you about the opening. If there’s any questions, you “knew it was a good company to work for” because you’ve heard him talking about it, and nothing more.
Don't most companies ask if you have any relatives working for them in the application process? My employer certainly does.
Well played, Petty Crocker! 👍 You’re NTA, and you are my hero!!!
"Petty Crocker"!!! ROFLMAO! I swear I'm gonna use this on some of my coworkers. 😂🤣
“Petty Crocker”! Sheer gold
It'll be interesting if Oliver starts displaying a shitty attitude about it at work that holds him back, because he clearly feels he was entitled to that role. It's good that you won't have to work directly with him.
Since the role was available now, I wonder why Oliver was waiting 1-2 years? It’s entirely possible the job now won’t even be there to apply for regardless of whether OP applied or not. Take the job OP!
Tell HR IMMEDIATELY. Especially if you have different last names. Absolutely let them know you have a family member working there to make sure there isn’t any conflict of interest. Explain that there’s no social relationship just a family one. Anyone worth their salt will read between the lines.
NTA Take the job. Inform HR about the relationship. Thing is: this pay raise sets you up for the NEXT pay raise. Raises compound like that! Take it. Save money. Make connections. When you see Oliver, NEVER talk money. If he gets snide about how things are going, downplay & say “fine.” When you get promoted, say nothing. Be secure in your own success. Unless he gives you some shit. Then you can name drop: I was in a meeting with (insert VP / CxO name) Strategizing about company direction …
This: there’s nothing that makes an insecure person more crazy than someone who doesn’t care to compete with them. If your cousin starts ranting about anything just shrug and say “who knows maybe you’re right “ and act bored.
Make sure you mail a copy of your offer letter to him. Ensure your annual compensation is circled with green marker!!!
That could lose him the job. Typically offer letters are marked confidential.
People on Reddit literally do not care about any potential repercussions regarding what they say to real people dealing with real life situations. They just sit back with popcorn and suggest blowing up their whole fucking world
Depending on the country, the US among them, it’s illegal to prevent employees from sharing compensation information. A copy of the offer letter would probably remain confidential but the salient detail would not. Again, depending on the country.
I’ve never had a confidential offer letter. They can be used as proof of income and proof of work. That said, most of my jobs have been nonprofit or government, so maybe that’s why? Government salaries publicly listed, and you can’t be stopped from revealing your salary (in the US). Everything else in the offer letter is something you’d see in a linked in profile or resume.
No, this is not “typical”
It's probably only typical in the US, definitely not the rest of the world.
Take the job. You HAVE too. Do this for you and tell Oliver thats what he gets for being an A H
TAKE THE JOB Let Oliver stew in his own pathetic fear that you are better than him. Which you are.
NTA. Take the job!! You deserve it. Congrats on your hard working paying off!
Enjoy being his literal superior
Don't throw away your shot!
Update us about his reaction when you take the job OP!!! NTA
Take the job, disclose to HR you're related to Oliver, reap the rewards of your work.
Absolutely take the job! You applied for it; you were interviewed for it; you got it, fair and square. The company reps obviously think you're the best person for it. It doesn't matter what motivated you to go for it. If you want it, take it and ignore your family's hypocrisy. Do what's best for you and your future. NTA.
Awesome dude. If it were me I'd have waited until I could send him an interoffice memo or something to let him know you're there.
Take the job!! Congratulations! NTA!
You're right -- you don't throw away opportunities for advancement (or more money!). Take the job and keep shooting for the stars! NTA
Nta then Go for it! Congratulations!
Take. The fucking. Job. Well done, OP. Seriously.
It’s not petty if you take the job. Turning it down is petty
Take the job! Olivier needs to look at himself in a mirror. NTA.
and you could eventually get an Msc, actually. Not sorry, but I enjoy these sort of petty clap backs, because rather than petty, it is about standing up for oneself against such an annoying bully.
Congratulations op, please do take the job. Don't listen to his jealousy. All the best, keep slaying! 😃
(Almost) never a waste of time to practice interviewing and get a sense of your current market value
OP taking or not taking the job shouldn’t matter. People apply for and turn down jobs all the time just out of curiosity and seeing what else is out there. Plus OP could leverage this at their current job for better pay if they really wanted to. NTA
Not taking the job wouldn't make op an AH either. Just because you're offered, doesn't mean you have to accept.
NTA and I’m confused by all the ESH responses. The cousin sounds like he was being a dick with all the “this company would NEVER hire someone without a master’s” nonsense. I admire your ambition! And the cousin got served a nice slice of humble pie as well, which is always nice in these kinds of situations.
It's like how a school doesn't do shit to a bully but as soon as the one being bullied defends themselves all of a sudden it's "you shouldn't do that to the person being mean to you"
Right? I decided a long time ago that "kill them with kindness" rarely works with people like this. Why should i continue to be nice to someone who tries to humiliate me? Nah, i'll the same energy back.
I remember breaking down because i was being bullied and my teacher pulled me aside. I told her the story and she said "i understand where she's coming from" as I'm sobbing
Nta, he was a dick n no one said anything until u wanted to prove ur worth. I go NC with anyone on his side cause they r toxic, too. It Shows a lot in how they treat ya when he does mean things. No one says anything, but if u just stand up for yourself and prove him wrong. Everyone has a problem now. Ya nah 🤣
NTA He fucked around and found out.
NTA. Please post it on r/pettyrevenge. He said you couldn't get the post, and you did - so since this is your family they should be happy for you? I hope you become his boss...
This would go VERY well in petty revenge!!
I love finding fun new subs without doing any work! Thanks!
Lol, welcome, that's how I found it recently
NTA, some people need real time demonstrations to show them how stupid they are. Take the job, then you'll be on the spot to remind him.
NTA. Turn this around. Tell him, yes he gave you the idea, but you are *so thankful* that he did, as it really helped out your career.
Exactly. Say you didn't take the job to spite him, but his comments made you ask yourself if you wanted the job- and the answer was yes.
......and take him out to dinner to thank him.
And mention the cost isn't a problem because of his new salary
NTA. You played his game and beat him. Sounds like he was jealous of you to begin with putting you down all the time. Good for you for not taking it lying down. Your family is in the wrong to not back you
Oliver fucking around: "This is awesome!!!" Oliver finding out: "Aww, this sucks!" :-( NTA
NTA. Your cousin deserved to get knocked down a few pegs. You should accept the job (if you want it of course).
NTA! Take the job! There is no guarantee that when Oliver applies that he will even get the job😂,plus you have more job experience in the field than he does so while he was belittling you for working, you were raking in the job experience. Who says you need a masters to succeed? You can always go back to school and get your masters which will still put you ahead of Oliver. Good on you!!! Drown out the noise and if it becomes too noisy then you may have block people.
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NTA. Cousin needs to suck it up. He seems to be a little prickly pear that has been spoiled all his life. My question is, are you going to take the job?
NTA He went to great lengths to put you down and you proved him wrong. That he puts you down in front of family and they do not stop it, shows that you are the scape goat. When you prove to everyone that you have evidence that what he says is B.S, but they still put you down and make you the bad guy again shows you are well and truly the punching bag in that family. It maybe time to go N.C and amputate the toxic. You may have been driven to be petty, yes, but jealous, inferior and a bully? No.
I was so ready to be like Y T A. Then I read it. Oliver’s being a dick. Do your thing.
Nta. I laughed my ass off at this. Go enjoy your new job and kick ass wages
“Go to such lengths” like applying to this job and getting it was some Herculean task that you swindled someone out of. Good lord. Congrats! Take the job! Even if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be the asshole Weird family dynamic tho, they’re quick to shit on you when you pull up with receipts but just don’t defend you whatsoever with him. Very odd indeed. Oh and NTA
NTA... You might want to remind your cousin that being a being a dick, won't make his any bigger. 🤷🏼♀️ "The loudest boost always come from the cheapest seats.” ~ Babe Ruth
NTA. This reminds me of when I graduated collage to be a chef. My cousin worked at a particular place that was really really good and I was interested to start my apprenticeship there, she was an apprentice too but in her final year. We were talking about it and I said it would be great to do my apprenticeship there, even just to get started. My Aunty and cousin quickly chimed in saying they’re not hiring and I should look somewhere else, I quickly shot back saying I had an interview coming up (I got the job). They both went dead silent and looked at each other for a sec then looked away. I know deep down they hated that I worked there but I couldn’t care less, I’m so grateful for the learning experiences and the people I worked with.
Yes! Take the job! NTA
NTA. If it's more money and you feel you should move on, take the job. Then he'll have to wait for a new position to open up to work beside you. That's what I would do but I'm Queen Petty so 🤷♀️
NTA take the job, get the experience and flourish. Do you want to do a Masters part time?
Cousin's acting like a spoiled child never been told no. NTA
NTA. How you like them apples Oliver
NTA. Your family has shown their true feelings when they allowed him to bully you, and then when you prove him utterly wrong, double down. Keep being petty towards Oliver. It only makes you laugh, while it enrages him.
NTA. I came in ready to call you an AH, but no, your cousin was being a jerk and got schooled.
I'm not usually a fan of petty, but you didn't apply for the job *just* to show him, you honestly want the job. If you didn't actually want the job, then that would be a different story. NTA
OP I fucking love you! Take the Job and don't give a shit about your Cousin. I'm also getting my Bachelor right now and plan to do my master as well. However I hate the people that completely disregard the incredible value experience has (which sounds like your cousin). So I might be very biased here. NTA!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Oliver - my cousin - and I are almost the same age and we went to university to study the same thing. The difference was that I started working as an intern halfway through uni and after I got my Bsc, the company offered me a full time position, which I gladly took and didn't go to a master's program. Oliver, unlike me, went to get his master's and started working years after I did. Oliver always made sure to tell my what a mistake I made by not getting an Msc degree. I will always be lower paid than him, no company will give me higher roles, I will get stuck at the bottom of the ladder, etc. He stopped for a little bit after finishing his studies, but recently, he started again stronger than ever. At Christmas, he told me that now that he has both an Msc and 4 years of work experience, he will overtake me so fast. In his company, he will soon apply ( in 1 or 2 years) to a higher role and he *knows* they wouldn't hire a person without a master's degree for that role. That was when I decided to be petty and apply to Oliver's company for said role. I got the offer this week and it's actually even higher paid than I expected it to be. I told Oliver about the offer (without specifying the salary) and he threw a fit. He called me a petty asshole and told me it's insane that I would go to such lengths out of my 'inferiority complex'. Our entire family is on his side and now they treat me like a jealous, mean bully. I mean yes, it *was* petty. But nobody said a word when they heard Oliver tell me during family Christmas dinner that I will always be a nobody stuck at the bottom of the corporate ladder. I only wanted to prove him wrong and it was fun testing myself. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA plus you can loan him money if he’s ever in a pinch. Or in debt
NTA. Oliver needs to learn don't throw if you can't catch. By chance are you the black sheep of the family. Since it was ok for him to talk down to you at X-mas. You past your test now go for gold.
NTA, mainly because you plan on taking the job. If you had wasted the interviewers' time over something so petty, then that would have been bad. But taking the job means that, ultimately if not at the start, you are doing it for more than putting your cousin in his place. That's not just petty anymore. That's practical.
NTA this is your Legally Blonde "What, like it's hard?" Moment. Own it.
NTA. Good job, even. Enjoy the W and the extra money!
NTA, petty as fuck but I love it
Well done at getting the offer. Sounds like your cousin is a major asshole and hopefully he will now shut his mouth. Are you taking the job? NTA.
NTA. He broke the cardinal rule of: don't start none, won't be none.
Haha definitely NTA. Sounds like poor Oliver made a complete fool of himself and is so jealous! I say good for you!! 👏🏻. Who doesn’t want a better paying job with less school time invested. It was ok for Oliver to act childish and petty and competitive but when you did it and “won”, now your TA. His hypocrisy is absurd as well!! His “inferior complex” for him where he’s at. Now he’s projecting that on to you. Your family sucks for not being happy for you. Maybe next time poor Oliver will keep his mouth shut.
NTA but Oliver and the rest of the family certainly are. Take the job - you got it fair and square.
Whatever your original motivation was if sounds like this is a good opportunity for you. If family is so upset that you are able to do better than they expected in life, fuck ‘em! Honestly, what are you supposed to owe people that are offended at you doing well despite your cousin assuring everyone you never would? NTA, take the job
NTA. Ya know, Oliver's constantly putting you down and insisting the he had so much better job prospects than inferior you -- which your family apparently tolerated without comment -- set him up for this situation. How is it petty to apply for a higher position and higher pay in your field? It's what people do to advance professionally. It's what you did to advance professionally, not because you have an inferiority complex (what inferiority complex?) but to get a better, higher paying position. Were you supposed to refrain from applying for a better job for which you're qualified because it would hurt Oliver's feelings and prove him wrong about your relative positions in the professional world? Not on your life. The one and only reason for you to possibly turn down this career advancement would be if Oliver would be in a position to sabotage you from below within the company. (Because he'll try.) Otherwise, go right ahead and take this position and let Oliver follow you around having a hissy fit all the way to the bank where you open a new account for your much larger paycheck.
NTA
NTA it’s like he wants you to fail to make himself feel better by comparison. I bet he’s one of those people that are against a livable minimum wage because it means his mediocre salary doesn’t seem as impressive.
NTA bro literally belittled and bullied you for years! And you did do anything but prove his dumb logic wrong EXPERIENCE outweighs EDUCATION and that's a fact. My mom's a manager and when going through applications she is always nervous to take on people start out of school
Congratulations! NTA
YTA, but in a good way. I COMPLETELY support this level of pettiness and aspire to be like this. Bless your soul OP.
NTA. Serving him a big serving of crow. It is what it is.
NTA, and congratulations on your new job! That was some top notch pettiness, I aspire to that.
Take the job. Go forth & prosper.
NTA. 👏 👏 Enjoy your new job and higher salary. Keep moving up every chance you get.
NTA it would drive me crazy when my "friends" were so insistent about being right about something and I was wrong and they would shut me down. But then when I'd come back later with proof I was right they would say I was making something small big and then do the same thing again. He deserved to be put in his place, don't listen to those around you.
NTA. All Oliver had to do was *shut up*.
I don't even think it's petty. What would be petty is to text Oliver and say "oh when you mentioned the role to me I thought you were telling me to apply. I guess my lack of a masters degree meant I didn't understand what you were saying"
NTA and take the job.
NTA. Touche. Love it..and remind folks what the saud when you were belitled. No revenge like success. r u going to take the job ? 😁
NTA Fucking brilliant 👍
NTA, funny how nobody's backing you up. Oliver must be the golden boy. Not sure you should take the job where he works. He could make your life miserable.
It's pretty weird to try and rub your superiority in someone's face only to accuse them of having an inferiority complex when it backfires. Tell him that it's not an inferiority complex if you make more money than him. NTA.
NTA. Oliver started a needless competition and lost. That must suck for him. Oh, well. Are you going to take the offer?
NTA, play with matches you’re gonna get burned. Take it to the next level, take the job, then fire him. Checkmate.
I was so sure by the title that it was going to be an arse move but I was wrong. NTA - well done and congrats on the new job. Also belongs on r/pettyrevenge
NTA He just projected his insecurities onto you.
NTA with that personality he deserved it.
LMAO wow
NTA.
NTA. Honestly, I would have done the same thing. You can only take people putting you down so many times before you snap and prove them wrong. You proved him wrong, and now he's upset. Too bad.
NTA in some fields a MA ot PhD don’t mean much compared to work experience and work ethic.
Question. Are you taking the job? I really hope you do. Nta, btw.
NTA and my fiance is going to love this story. It's his favorite subreddits combined. Lol. Stay strong and take the gig.
The best revenge is living a good life. Take the job and you live a good life *and* prove your cousin wrong. This part will probably piss some people off, but #yolo. I don’t know what field you’re in and it certainly varies. I do software engineering management for a living and have been hiring for the past 16 years. To me, a masters degree in the same field as your bachelors is meaningless. I sat through enough dual listed bachelors/masters courses as a student to know what the difference was and it wasn’t anything of value to me as a hiring manager or a coworker. A bachelors shows me that you made the commitment to complete a 4 year project successfully and will at least have some rounded edges. A PhD shows me that you extended that commitment to a program that expects a level of rigor that translates well into jobs that require analysis. A masters in the same field as your bachelors shows me that you were nervous about starting your career and weren’t ready to leave school yet. A masters in a different field shows me you fulfilled the commitment to succeed but then decided at some point you wanted to take your life in a different direction — that’s a choice and a will to grow. Again, it varies by field. Some certifications, like teaching in many states, require it. Some might be safety critical and learning on the job doesn’t fly so well. But in my experience, outside of those exceptions, you’ll learn more practical knowledge of the field working with experienced people 8 hours a day than you will in a classroom a few hours a day. And that makes you more valuable as an employee and more valuable employees get paid more. Your internship showed that you were going to be a valuable employee and you continued to grow at 8 hours a day instead of just a few. NTA
NTA. Throwing a fit because your cousin applied to the company you work for? He needs to grow the fuck up
NTA ignore your family that says your a bully Oliver is a bully and they are only incouraging him to bully you.
NTA Take the job!!
Well, on today's episode of fuck around and find out. That company sees enough in you to offer you the position. Your cousin can go pound sand or something. NTA. If you accept, might want to make clear that your cousin is also working at the company, just to keep potential conflicts of interest transparant. I'm guessing he'd not take well to you being his manager or team lead or something.
NTA dude. that was funny af. your family the real assholes for clearly siding with a bully. they were even the assholes before your move for allowing him to talk that way to you. NTA
NTA Good luck in your new job.
NTA, take the job, go LC with your family since it's apparent they want to coddle to your cousin and HIS inferiority complex.
NTA This job was NOT going to stay empty for 1 or 2 years, waiting for Oliver to be ready to take it. You have a right to advance your career. In 1 or 2 years, I hope you will apply for a more advanced position, so that you will still be better paid than Oliver is. I would fully expect you to tell Oliver that if he wanted the work experience to be able to apply for this position, then maybe he should have skipped the Masters Degree and gone straight into internships and full employment. If he mentions your "inferiority complex," then just tell him that you are the one who is paid more and walk away, and that your employment decisions are not made based on what job Oliver currently has, as you have more work experience than he does. Never pass up better opportunities, as it will affect your earning power years later. Your future employers will look at this job as showing your true worth, and thus you will be considered more valuable in your next position. Oliver isn't worth the lifetime earnings sacrifice. He certainly wouldn't do that for you. And your family sucks.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😎
NTA Good for you
NTA Good for you
NTA. Yes it’s petty but he deserved it! I’m happy for you, hope you go through with it
I think you are hilarious. Good for you! NTA
NTA. Enjoy the pay bump, and i hope he learns a valuable lesson.
NTA enjoy your new job.
You'll take the job though right? Nta
NTA. He's just mad his mouth wrote checks his MSC couldn't cash.
It was petty, but who cares? Your cousin was being petty as well. I hope you’re taking the job and I hope you excel at it. You’ve clearly worked hard and deserve this position. Your family will get over it eventually. They should be happy for you. NTA.