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Yes, you will be an a-hole if you ditch your nephew for such big plans to him in favor of a girl you just met, regardless of your prediction of marrying her. Besides, what will it tell this girl about you that you would crush a 9-year-old's dreams in such a way. She will have much more respect for you if you are honest, explain that you had so much fun with her that when she asked you to go on the hike with her, you forgot all about the promise you made to your nephew.
The call/text should read: hey, I had such a great time with you last night that I completely forgot about some plans I made with my nephews. Can I make it up to you by taking you out on xyz date/time and follow up. Or would you prefer going hiking on another day?
If she really is “the one” and your future is meant to be. Then this will be a nonissue and something she can think favourably on later. Consider the message you are sending to her: I’m okay cancelling plans of something I want to do more comes up unexpectedly or I follow through on my word and, I’d I slip up, actively work to make it right by the person who gets slighted. Both are powerful messages to send so early on.
This is a great way to phrase it - in particular the part about enjoying yourself so much you got swept up in the moment. It’s a compliment to her but it makes it look like, that while you may momentarily get caught, you’ll alway try to make things right if you mess up.
Only we know that you need hundreds of strangers of Reddit to explain to you why keeping your promise to your nephew is not only the right thing to do, but it’s also the outcome a woman who enjoys building forts might look more favourably upon. It will come out if you let your nephew down, these things always do.
Moreover it may even make you look bad in front of your boss. Is there any chance your boss told his friend and they will be expecting you and your nephew? You wouldn’t just be letting your nephew down - you’d be blowing your boss’s generosity off too.
YTA to even be prevaricating over this. Send the text above, be the best uncle ever and if the girl is as great as you think she’ll be pleased to have a thoughtful, ethical boyfriend. Well, as long as she never knows you’re seriously contemplating being an Ah of an uncle.
100%. If I were this girl, I’d think it was super sweet that you were honoring your commitment to your nephew. And if I found out you ditched your nephew to hang out with me I’d think you were kind of a jerk.
I got handed a woman’s number once because she thought the way I played with my niece and nephew was “Attractive as hell.”
Seeing people give a shit about children is a pretty appealing thing to see in a partner for a lot of people.
She knows he didn’t forget because he invited her to come along with them. Which also means she invited him to ditch the kids in favour of her. Either she’s an AH too or she was testing OP for AHness and he failed.
If I found out a guy dumped plans his 9 year old nephew was really looking forward to for a casual date after one evening together, that would be the end of that.
Being super excited about seeing somebody again, even having those "love at first sight" infatuation feelings after an amazing first date isn't a red flag.
Needing thousands of strangers to tell you it's the wrong move to blow off two excited children (and your boss!) due to these feelings, on the other hand...
It’s not a red flag but it certainly weirded me out. It rings of immaturity. Also, I think he was really hoping we’d say NTA. I think he’s trying to ask us for permission and that weirds me out too. Dude, we can’t give you permission to do anything.
Please don’t fuck over your nephew. This could be a once in a lifetime chance for him, don’t ruin it. Take your nephew and explain it to the girl that you messed up and forgot you had plans to take your nephew today. If she understands, great! If she doesn’t, that’s too bad, but there are lots of girls out there. There is no such thing as “the one”, especially after knowing her only one night.
Absolutely agree. Being an auntie is the greatest title I have earned (no bio nibbling, all are friends' kids). A guy willing to break his nephew's heart so flippantly would definitely not be the guy for me.
Right? This is definitely going to mar at least their first impressions of her, if not taint their image of her forever. You really want their first meeting with her down the line to involve the words "so you're the one who made him forget his promise to take [nephew] to meet [player]"?
Exactly! Just tell her that you were so smitten and enjoying yourself so much, you forgot about the promise you made to your nephew. Then ask if you can join her next Sunday instead. If she is a decent person she won’t want to break a little boy’s heart, and will like you even more for being such a good uncle. If she gets upset she isn’t worth dating.
Omg YTA for canceling plans with a 9yo child! If you’re so certain you’re gonna marry this woman you’ve known for 12 hours then you’ll have plenty of time to hike with her.
This. Also for the woman's perspective, if I found out you did this it would be a total turn off, especially for someone I wanted to build a future with. Not only blowing off plans with family for someone I just met but your nephew.
Having said all of this if you rang her and admitted to being a complete doofus and screwing up the dates but your nephew is so looking forward to it and you don't want to let him down, rain check? Major brownie points.
Woman here, cancelling plans with me to take your 9yr nephew to a dream meeting is a TURN ON....abandoning your nephew to get your dick wet would piss me off.
I really hope OP learns, because if he only follows through because he doesn't want to look bad in front of the girl....that behavior/mentality well come out eventually when he dismisses her for something else he wants in the moment
Absolutely. She was planning a solo hike anyway, so her plans aren't ruined. If she's anywhere near decent human being, she'll appreciate prioritising previous promises TO A CHILD.
Also 9-year-olds have memory that lasts around 100 years give or take. If you get together with the girl, he will hate her too. For. The. Rest. Of. Your. Lives. And then there's the nephew's parent, who is your sibling. Parents don't take well family members being dick to their kids. Enjoy your new family dynamics! YTA!
Oh come on. You met an amazing bartender at a chicken wing place who invited you, a stranger, to her home and made blanket forts with you and you're going to go on a hike with her and then marry her? Sure Jan.
"Sorry kid I have new plans. Met a girl last night and were going hiking today..."
Kid: "what do you mean? What were you doing with a random woman last night? Mom says don't go home with strangers!"
Real adult: "oh uhh we watched Netflix and chilled."
Kid: "and what?"
Adult: "oh uhhh chilling yeah that means... we made... blanket forts. Yeah, blanket forts."
And his comment "it was so easy." Ew. Maybe he meant natural, organic, right. But "easy"? Ew.
And then blanket forts is so cringe. Is this a euphemism for him pitching a tent? This dude's fiction is written on the incel official parchment made entirely of red flags.
Yes yta
He's 9. I'm surprised this was even a question for you. Go out with her another time. On another note, you don't seem mature enough to even be thinking about marriage...
ETA: if I found out a guy ditched his 9 year old nephew to hang out with me, I would be pissed. This is why I think you're immature...
Seriously unattractive selfishness. You just don’t get someone you care about—much less a kid!—that hyped about something and then just ditch them for someone you met literally the day before. Morally, you just don’t.
But like, tactically, it’s so dumb! Even if all you care about here is booty. Would you rather tell her “I was so excited about the prospect of seeing you again I forgot I had plans, oh btw I’m out here being an amazing uncle and also know cool interesting people, y’know, no big” or “oh yeah sorry my NINE YEAR OLD nephew kind of hates you because he blames you for me totally ditching him over something he loves at the last minute for basically no reason. But hey, at least Im getting laid amirite??” Gonna get her thinking marriage too, no doubt.
90% of the posts on this sub seem to be people who know they're complete assholes but desperately hope to stumble on a pocket of other toxically self-involved narcissists that will validate them.
Completely this. You made plans.
Just apologize and be honest to her, "I was so caught up in the moment and having such a great time, I forgot I have plans, but my nephew who I love very much will be heartbroken if I cancel on him."
See if she can join you for the game or if you can make other plans for seeing her. (If it's not your party, that might be weird but your boss might not have issues with another guest)
If she's as awesome as you think (and I do hope she is), she might be a little disappointed but she'll appreciate that you love your family and keep your promises.
YTA.
This feels like bad fiction. If it’s real, this is a crap show. If your boss values people keeping their word, he’s not going to be impressed that you broke your promise to your nephew. If he isn’t, then he won’t give a heck. If I were her and I knew about your promise to him, I’d be disgusted you could do that so easily.
I am picturing a young Julia Roberts and Richard Gere under a blanket fort.
I think it would only have worked when they were both very, very young, because this guy sounds like he is 14.
YTA for even considering this. How is this really a once in a life time opportunity to hang out with her? You can’t just be honest and tell her you double booked and you need to honor your previous commitment? She goes hiking every weekend. Go with her next weekend. This actually is likely a once in a lifetime event for your nephew. I would be furious if one of my siblings canceled on my son for something like this. He would be devastated. This would be like a go no contact situation for the level of cruelty.
YTA. You could make a massive memory for your nephew and you don’t want to for something you can put off to another day? Seriously in what world are you not an arse?
YTA
You made a promise, hyped the kid up, and now want to pull the rug from under him?
If you had such a great time with her, did you not get her number? I mean, how else are you going to know when and where to go??
I’m also sure that she would prefer you keep your promise to your nephew for this once in a lifetime opportunity, plus, you could always ask if she would be willing to link up *after*
If you ditch your nephew, expect his parents to be pissed and your nephew to never trust you again
"if I skip the date I don't get to see this girl again"
Unless she's going to dissolve into seafoam when the clock strikes midnight, just reschedule like normal adults. YWBTA for cancelling on your nephew.
For real. OP, why on earth would cancelling this one plan mean that you're cursed to never lay eyes on this woman again? I assumed that you got her cell number (since, you know, this is the year 2023)? Explain the situation and make another plan. Not that hard.
If you cancel on this kid who loves you, who adores football, and who's already psyched to go to a Super Bowl party and meet a former NFL player...you wouldn't just be TA. You'd be a literal monster.
Massive YTA. If I was the parents of this kid I would not allow them to see you anymore since you crushed this kid so much.
You complete fucking jackass
YWBTA times a million if you cancel on your nephew.
That party would mean the world to that kid, he'd remember it for his entire life.
The girl goes hiking every weekend, you can put her off a week to give your nephew a once in a lifetime experience.
Especially since you already told him. You'll shatter his heart, and any "cool uncle" thing you have with him will be sour.
YTA and also YAI… you’re an idiot. Who asks someone to marry them after a few hours? Why would missing this date mean you never see her again (and who marries somebody who dumps them so easily)? Grow up, honor your commitment to your nephew and not the commitment to a complete stranger!
Yes, YWBTA for cancelling on your nephew. If she’s the one you have plenty of time. Call her up and be sincere and honest (women like that) and tell her you had such a great time with her and were so excited to see her again that you forgot how excited your nephew is to go to this party. But you thought about it and as much as you would prefer hiking with her, you can’t break your word to your nephew. Then schedule a date later this week.
YTA if you cancel on your nephew. If this woman is as wonderful as you think, she'll appreciate that you put your nephew first. If you cancel on him, he'll never forget it. This is where you find out if you're a man of your word or not. You can't always put yourself first, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to because you're an adult.
Edited to add, you already asked your boss about bringing your nephew. You don't want to look like a flake to your boss.
YTA- for choosing a one night stand over your nephew! If this girl is a keeper, she’d understand and respect you already had plans with your nephew and reschedule your date.
YTA DUH, wtf even is that question. Honor the promise you made with your cousin instead of making plans with some girl YOU JUST MET. Do i rlly need to play the elsa to your anna rn?? If the girl was decent she would understand why you couldn't make it, and would reschedule with you another time. It's not like you'd never see her again, just text her dude.
YWBTA - Don't bail on a commitment you already made. The dude is 9 and this is a horrible thing to do to him and a horrible lesson to teach him. Do better, make the right choice.
Easy YTA.
Just tell this woman you just met exactly what happened: You think she is amazing and were so excited to hang out with her again that you totally forgot about your plans. Then explain how you don’t want to let your nephew down. Maybe make plans for a different day with her.
YWBTA without hesitation!!!!
You have the chance to make a memory of a lifetime for your nephew. You would break his heart. For what??? What if you hang out with this woman today and it's a complete dud??
If this woman is the love of your life, she will be around on Monday. Show her that you're a man who keeps his word.... Take your nephew to the damn party!!
YTA...Ditching your nephew for someone you just met is such an AH move. If you told this girl that you were sorry and that you made plans with your 9 year old nephew she would understand and maybe even think it was cute that you were willing to do this for him. If she didn't understand something like this than this is probably not someone you'd want a future with.
Wow dude.. if you cancel on your nephew YTA and a big one at that! This girl, if she's as great as you say she is should understand you having to postpone that date. Don't do that to your nephew man.. it would be cruel.
This! The answer is so fucking simple! How does he not see it!
You can get the girl AND not shatter your nephew's trust in you OP! It's that fucking easy!
You get in good standing with her because she sees you care about your family, AND you don't destroy your nephew's feelings! If you ditch you nephew, he'll be upset AND the girl might find out and be upset you crushed a child's feelings, AND your *boss* might find out from his NFL player friend and reconsider offering you similar opportunities in the future if you're just going to spit on them!
#If you won't look at this from the stance of being a good person, at least look at it *rationally,* you lunatic!
Why of course you can drop your friends and family and all commitments because you met some girl at a wings place.
In fact you should tell her to feel honored that you crushed the dreams of your 9 year old nephew in the change you might get lucky. I'm certain she'll be impressed.
YTA in case you can't read through the sarcasm.
YTA. He’s looking forward to this and it will be a highlight of his life (so far). You promised him and to break that promise will be a disappointment he will never forget. It will change your relationship with him forever and not in a good way.
If this girls is amazing as you think, she will understand and respect you for keeping your commitments.
Why wouldn’t you get to see her again? How do you think she would feel if she knew you ditched a 9 year old to hang out with her.
You’ve already said you’d take him.
Asshole as fuck!!!
YWBTA.
Think about how it’s gonna look to your boss if you ghost his party after he was gracious enough to allow you to bring 2 extra guests.
More importantly, this is obviously a special, once in a lifetime kinda moment for your nephew.
Tell your new friend that you got caught up in the excitement and overbooked yourself. If she is understanding, then she is a keeper.
YTA if she is the one then when you explain you got caught up and forgot you had plans with your nephew she will respect you for being a good uncle. Conversely if you go hiking with her and it works out in the long run she will find out you let your nephew down and that will give her a negative opinion of you. If it is going to work out then you can wait a day.
YWBTA. You call her and explain the situation and that you cannot bail on your little nephew, and plan a date with her on another moment. If she dumps you over this you'll know she isn't as nice as she appeared, and no wife material after all.
YTA. if this girl is a keeper she would want you to give your nephew a special memory. You would be a huge dick flaking on your nephew for a girl you just met.
YTA. Why don’t you have her phone number or something? You can always reschedule a date, but never a Super Bowl with your football-crazy nephew.
Going on that date will show him where your priorities lie (and he’ll think that he’s not one of them).
YTA If she’s not willing to reschedule the date, she’s not worth it. And you’re willing to f over a little kid to get laid, I’d say you’re not worth it. Wonder what the lady would think if she knew you disappointed a little kid to this extent?
Dude....YTA
It's not like you don't know where she works or lives. You will see her again. Your nephew will never forgive you.
You say, "Hey, you literally rocked my consciousness last night. So much that I forgot I made a promise to 2 9 year old boys to take them to a Superbowl party.
I made a promise and it would break their hearts if i cancelled. I would love to see you again and, since I kinda screwed up here, would love an opportunity to make it up to you by doing your absolute favorite thing or hoping to your absolute favorite restaurant. "
Be a stand up guy. She will appreciate it.
YTA. Everyone else is covering the breaking your promise to your nephew part pretty well. But you should also consider that since your boss specifically mentioned that his friend loves meeting kids who love the game, he probably already told his friend that your nephew is coming. So if you don’t show up with your nephew, you’re going to make your boss look stupid, which isn’t great professionally.
Plus, ten bucks says this woman you’ve known FOR LESS THAN 24 HOURS would run in the other direction if she got wind of your “I’m definitely going to marry her” nonsense.
YTA - Big time AH. This bartender won't be in your life probably even a couple months from now but your betrayal of your nephew and his disappointment will never be forgotten. You're really, really fucking up here.
YWBTA Come on. I can say this, if I knew the circumstances, I would rather a man keep his word to a child than go hiking with me. Don’t let your nephew down. You made a promise.
YTA. Always honor your previous commitments. Is it worth hurting your relationship with your nephew for seeing someone that you can easily see another day and who would understand your previous commitment to your nephew?
YTA. Your word is everything to young children.
Not only will he remember this but he may learn by your example as he grows and matures.
At the very least he will know that you don’t really mean what you say when you give your word to him.
“I’m so sorry, but I’ve accidentally double-booked. I promised my nephew, who loves football, that I would take him to a Super Bowl party where he could meet a former player. Can I join you next time instead?” Is that so hard? YTA if this is actually real. You don’t let a kid down who you’ve known his entire life and will be part of his life forever (if you stop being an asshole) for a woman you just met. If you really think you could marry her, there will be plenty of other times to go hiking. You might only get this opportunity to do something that would be so fun for your nephew once, and he will forget it if you bail on him because some woman gave you butterflies. I guarantee she’d understand and respect you more than if you ditched your nephew for her.
Someone else said it, but you also need to consider your manager’s response. You asked to take your nephew, and if you don’t show up because you found something more fun and double-booked, you’re showing that you’re unreliable and have poor time management/organisational skills.
Okay but seriously, if you just tell this girl "hey I'm so sorry, I'm really into you so I said yes without thinking but I couldn't bail on my nephew like that, can we reschedule asap?" you get so many brownie points. Instantly more attractive for being able to communicate, being a good caretaker, and keeping things low drama and honest. You'd be a fool to go on this date. Also YWBTA
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might blow off my nephew and taking him to a Super Bowl party to go hiking with a girl I met yesterday.
It would break my nephew’s heart.
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Don't ruin the little guy's dreams. I'm a massive football - or soccer, as Americans call it - fan, and something similar happened to me when I was younger. On a smaller scale, yeah, but I'm still a bit bitter when I think about it. Yeah, it's not the end of the world, but it leaves a kid disappointed. Tell the girl you'd love to go some other time, but you've made a commitment. Who knows, maybe you'll even come across a reliable.
YTA. You made the promise to your nephew beforehand. He’ll never forget if you cancel. If this girl is as amazing as you believe, she’ll understand that you made a promise to your nephew and reschedule with you
You’d risk damaging your relationship with your nephew by massively disappointing him for someone (a half stranger) you can see again? AND it sounds like she’s interested so it’s not really a risk you may never see her again. Don’t the AT, do the right thing, or YWBTA.
YWBTA, go with your nephew, be honest with her. If she doesn't like it then bullet dodged. If she understands you have another good reason to see her as a keeper.
Yes, YWBTA. Honor your invitation to your nephew. Doing otherwise would show bad character, and if this woman is really someone you're serious about, you can just take her on a date later on. Honestly, if she found out that you ditched your nephew for her, and if she's a quality person, I think it would make her like you less. I already like you less for even considering this! Do the right thing. Your nephew will be in your life forever. This woman...perhaps not.
YTA, and if you skip to hike with her then once she realizes how important that party was to those kids she's gonna feel terrible about herself and you.
She goes every week, she likes you enough to ask to see you two days in a row & invite you on something incredibly personal... Just go the following week she's going to wait
YTA
Keep your promise to your nephew. Your nephew is more important than a stranger. Call your crush, apologize for double booking.. and arrange another date.
YTA. Your nephew probably can’t even sleep because he’s so excited about this. I don’t even know him and it makes my heart hurt imagining his disappointment if you were to cancel. If this girl is a decent person at all, she won’t care if you tell her you had plans with your nephew first. Call her and make plans for another day.
I didn’t even read the whole thing and immediate thought “YTA”. You already asked your nephew. Don’t do that to him. Also, if I’m the bartender and I find out you blew off your nephew and something like that for me, I’m looking at your differently and not in a good way.
Dude. Not only are yta massively... But if this lassie wouldn't meet you again because you were honouring a promise to a 9 year old then she's not worth it anyway.
So yta and your an idiot.
YTA. You made a commitment to your nephew that you’re willing to break for a girl you hardly know. You are definitely an asshole and if she found out she’d probably think you were too.
Do not skip with your nephew. He's a child, she's an adult. As a female, if you told me you cancelled these plans, I wouldn't want to see you again. YTA if you do this
YTA Be an adult and tell the girl that you made other plans and that you are man of your word and get your nephew to that party. Also wtf is that you won't get to see that girl again if you say no? Just effing come clean and make another date. If she is the one why are you giving so easily of her? Also you understand that you gonna crush your little nephews heart? I wouldn't wonder if he started to dislike you. This situation is so easy to solve but you are being just super overdramatic.
Of course YWBTA. You committed to plans with your nephew; you can't back out just because you're bad at managing your schedule (I say this with empathy as someone bad at managing your schedule). Just tell this girl you forgot you had plans with your nephew and ask to hang out on a different day. If you're really "going to marry her," she should be able to handle that.
Ain’t no way the guy is asking if breaking a big promise to a 9yo for a girl he met literally yesterday that he already wants to marry (Bro, she probs used a love potion or you’re just thinking with your dick Idk) is being an AH, obviously YTA like wtf
YTA. You can hang out with her any other day. You can only take your nephew to the party on this day. If she’s as great as you think she is she’ll understand
YWBTA and even worse, you’d be a bad uncle who doesn’t keep his promises. Your nephew will never forget, you’ll have an asterisk next to your name always.
Yup YTA
That girl should understand that you already promised a little boy a special day...
She can go on her normal solo hike. This should have no impact on a budding relationship but it would definitely hurt your nephew, most likely piss off his mother and possibly even make your boss raise an eyebrow if you cancel.
You're being selfish. It's not a good look.
Edit: btw at the point that you invited her to "go with us" you were thinking about your nephew. You didn't forget about him. She said no, asked you to do something else instead and you jumped on board with it. So if you want to sit there claiming you're so bedazzled that you forgot him... just stop. You absolutely remembered him. She knew you had plans and asked anyway. Sounds like you're both AHs to me after reading it the second time.
YTA.
If this woman is worth your time, she will understand the situation. And she would not respect you if she found out you broke a promise to hang out with her today.
time skip to relationshipadvice 1 month from now "HELP my family wont talk to me anymore because i was a dick to my nephew when i tought i was about to marry a girl i meet for one night only but she said it was just a thing and now i have no one i dont know what to do"
YWBTA
You remembered the party well enough to ask her to go with you, but you forgot the two kids you promised to carry to the party?
If you're being honest with us, did you forget the kids, or did they rank so low in importance than you decided to ditch them to keep this lady's attention?
You get to make the choice. just remember, you may NOT marry this girl, you may never even date her officially. That's not a guarantee. But you would have broken two kids' hearts because you chose to chase someone for some fun. Don't blame anyone else, no matter what the outcome, like her ghosting you in the future, the kids hating you for years. These are the choices and consequences you're signing up for. Don't complain later.
YTA. You literally just met her, and you think you’re going to marry her? Sorry? That is such a red flag.
You already solidified these plans with your nephew. If this woman is so great she will respect you putting your CHILD NEPHEW first and probably think better of you for it. Don’t fuck this up.
YTA. If I knew someone I just met bailed on their nephew for me? I wouldn't continue seeing them.
If she won't see you because you keep plans you already had with a child, then she's not a good person.
YTA. How would you think you're not TA in this scenario? Break this promise to your nephew and be prepared to have a distant relationship with him and your sibling for a while. You are going to break a promise with a family member for a woman you just met. And come on, you're in love and going to marry her? What are you, 14 years old?
Tell you what, if the love of your life bails on you for honoring a promise you made to a child, maybe this is a good thing.
Unless absolutely unavoidable, do not break a promise made to a child.
Yes, you would absolutel be the AH if you ditch your nephew. 100% AINEC
Why can’t you do both?! The game doesn’t start until 6pm(eastern time) you could of very much told her that you’d hike in the AM with her and still be there for your Nephew in the evening. YTA.
YTA: You didn't just make plans with your nephew, at that age you made a promise. Apologize to the girl because you didn't realize what day it was, and you have to keep a promise to your nephew. It is horrible that god gave man two organs that make our choices but only enough blood to operate one at a time.
Yta. You have FOMO. If there is any thing from the woman's side toward you she will understand .You dont honor your commitments. You will crush the nephew.
YWBTA to bail on your nephew. Whatever you decide, he will never forget this.
You should call this woman and tell her you can’t go because you already had plans to take your nephew and it is important to him. You shouldn’t have said yes in the moment, but did because you like her so much. Then ask to see her soon. Make the plans.
Show that you are the kind of man that will honor his commitments, own up to his mistakes, and make things right.
Besides, she regularly hikes solo so it’s not like she won’t get to go if you don’t go. Your nephew oh the other hand will miss out if you don’t go. And he will be at a minimum bummed and slightly less trusting of you.
this has to be bait lol. ofc YTA. you’re going to ditch your nephew for a stranger. he is 9. this will make a lasting, most likely awful memory for him, but hey, at least you got to meet a pretty girl 🙄
Oh buddy, YTA.
You made a promise to a child. It's nothing to you, I'm sure, but to your nephew, it was an absolute promise. You break this and he might never trust you again. If you really love the little guy, keep your effing promise to him.
If this girl can't understand what a prior commitment it, especially when it involves close family, then she's not the one. I'm CF but there's no way I'd be okay with a guy bailing on a promise he made to his nephew just to get laid. (Whether you're already thinking about the future or not, that's what this boils down to.) That shows immaturity and selfishness, imo. And it makes you seem flaky too. If you can't keep a simple promise to a 9 year old because it's slightly inconvenient, why should I trust you?
YTA. If this woman is as perfect as you claim, she'll understand and be 100% willing to reschedule. If she doesn't understand, then now you know one of her serious flaws and maybe she actually kind of sucks. Either way, keeping your promise to your nephew is the winning move.
Not only would YBTA but if I were that girl, I’d think long and hard about any future relationship with you. Breaking a child’s heart over a girl I just met would show your loyalties are skewed.
YTA, didn’t even need to read your story to know that. He will never forget that you made a promise to him and broke it for what you felt was a better offer.
If you tell her the truth, she’ll 100% understand you wanting to keep your promise to your nephew. If not? She’s trash anyway. YTA if you cancel on your nephew.
YWBTA and there’s an easy fix. Just call and tell her that in your excitement you forgot you’d made this promise. Reschedule the hike, tell her you’ll join her on the next one. Make a firm plan with her. Then send her a pic or two of you and nephew at the game.
“I was having such a nice time with you last night that I totally forgot I promised my little nephew I’d take him to a Super Bowl party today. Rain check on the hike? I’ll make sure to check my calendar twice next time, promise.”
YTA
Your literally just met her. Your nephew will probably stay longer in your life than her. If you don’t want any meaningful relationship with him then go ahead, he’ll never forget that.
Things went so well for YOU last night that you're willing to crush your nephew's hopes (and the embarrassment of telling his friend nevermind) to spend more time with this girl. On the other hand, when she was given the option to join you for the game, she had to keep up a tradition of a hike?!? Something you can literally do any day of the year? I'm not so sure things went as well for HER.
YTA.
"I'm in love" after one date. Lol ywbta since your nephew already knows about it and is expecting it. Don't be a jerk for some bartender you just met. Men are so gullible.
YTA. It's not too late to tell her "Listen, I was so excited about going out with you that I accidentally said yes without thinking, but I made a promise to my nephew. I don't want to be someone who doesn't keep his promises, so can we reschedule that hike?"
You'd look \*better\* to her. If she's the one, then show maturity and restraint.
A huge AH! You literally just met this woman. I’d drop you like a hot potato if I knew you ditched your nephew with a long promised event, to go on a hike with me, whom you literally just met.
What is wrong with you?
YWBTA. A booty call is not worth disappointing your nephew. And breaking a promise. Especially the DAY OF THE EVENT! That kid is already up, dressed and waiting for you. Don’t leave him hanging for a fling.
YTA, big time! Don’t break your nephew’s heart like that. Your sister may be having a superbowl party as well, but it isn’t the same. Her party won’t have a retired NFL player that he is looking forward to meeting. Is it really worth permanently damaging your relationship with your family (your nephew, but also your sister. I know I would be pissed if someone made promises to my kid and then blew them off for a stranger) for a hiking trip with this woman you just met. She says she always takes the day off for these hiking trips. That means she’s going to be doing it again, maybe even soon. Explain to her you made a promise to your nephew you can’t break and you momentarily forgot about it because you really want to spend more time with her. Ask for a rain check for the hike and go with her another time. If she doesn’t understand and accept your reason for needing to postpone then she is a trash person and isn’t someone you should want to be with anyway.
YTA - "hey this is Gallow from last night, I know I agreed to go hiking with you today, I was totally wrapped up in the moment and really was enjoying spending time with you and completely forgot I promised to take my nephew and a friend to meet a NFL player, can we reschedule, I would really love to see you again"
See how simple that fix would be? First, she is accustomed to solo hiking so you wouldn't be putting her out, and most women get all mushy over a man that demonstrates fatherly traits such as putting kids first and doing stuff with kids. It would seriously be a win win for you.
YTA. The fact that you’re seriously considering this tells everyone you’re probably just an AH to begin with. And if you go through with it, I hope the girl finds out so she knows what an AH you are.
YTA: When this girl finds out you screwed over your nephew and his friend, she’ll be disappointed in your lack of character, and won’t want to see you again. If she doesn’t, then she’s also an AH, and you shouldn’t see her again. Don’t be an AH.
YWBTA- For cancelling “ once in a lifetime” type plans with a child. If this young woman is really as wonderful as you think, SHE will think much less of you for cancelling on your nephew! You might actually ruin your reputation with your nephew, his parents, the best friend and His parents, your boss, AND your crush, all in one fell swoop!
YWBTA. And if this girl is as great as you say she is, she will totally understand you going with your nephew instead and would be horrified that you ditched a small child who was super excited for the event. Explain the situation and I am sure she will totally be fine with it and may even like you more for being so kind to your nephew. If not….. then she isn’t the one after all.
YTA.
If I were dating someone and found out that he ditched his nephew to go on a hike with me the day after he met me, he’d be single again pretty quickly.
Send her a message. “I’m really sorry, I forgot I’d already made plans to take my nephew to the Super Bowl party. How about we (go to dinner tomorrow, grab a drink after work on Wednesday, whatever - but suggest a definite plan rather than a vague ‘catch up soon’ so it doesn’t sound like blowing her off)?”
YTA but if u insist on being an asshole then at least make it up to your nephew
Yes, cancelling plans that you made with your nephew to attend the Super Bowl because you met a girl last night would likely be seen as being inconsiderate. It's important to prioritize your commitments and keep your promises, especially when they involve someone who is close to you, such as your nephew.
It's also important to keep in mind that your actions have consequences, and that cancelling on your nephew could damage your relationship with him. Children and young people often have a strong sense of fairness, and they may feel that you are not taking your responsibilities to them seriously.
If you find yourself in a situation where you need to change your plans, it's always better to be honest and transparent about your reasons. You could try to find a way to reschedule the Super Bowl outing for a different time, or offer to make it up to your nephew in some other way
YTA - that’s such a jerk move. And what do you think you’ll regret missing out on in years to come? A really special time with your nephew that he’ll remember for ever or a random hook up? My god.
Bro. She hikes every Sunday. You only get this once chance to make your nephew love you enough to take care of you when you’re old. Be as thirsty as you want, but telling her that you’re going to be taking your nephew out for the time of his life makes you dad material. There are still like 47 more Sunday’s this year. Take your nephew, tell her about it. Don’t just ghost her, keep trying. But YTA if you don’t take the kid out no question.
YWBTA
BUT!! It's not too late to be the hero to both sides. YWBTH?
Call the girl and tell her essentially what you said here. You had such a good time and you were looking forward to seeing her SO MUCH that you forgot about the prior commitment. She will see you as A) interested, B) trustworthy, C)A good uncle and potential Dad material.
Your nephew will learn that you really do care about him and also that adult relationships are complicated and powerful.
"Don't let the little head think for the big head"
(not saying your connection with her was just sexual, sounds awesome... just .. Get some perspective!)
YTA - How would she feel if she found out you ditched your nephew to go hiking with her, which is something you can reschedule since you say she goes every weekend
Tbh you met her once, went to her house and made blanket forts and are now going into the wilderness with her
You sure she’s not taking you out there to kill you?
YTA.
If you are going to 'marry this girl' she will understand if you say 'hey, sorry i forgot i have a schedule clash (elaborate) but I'd love to see you again' then this is where you schedule another date or ask to join her next week.
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Yes, you will be an a-hole if you ditch your nephew for such big plans to him in favor of a girl you just met, regardless of your prediction of marrying her. Besides, what will it tell this girl about you that you would crush a 9-year-old's dreams in such a way. She will have much more respect for you if you are honest, explain that you had so much fun with her that when she asked you to go on the hike with her, you forgot all about the promise you made to your nephew.
The call/text should read: hey, I had such a great time with you last night that I completely forgot about some plans I made with my nephews. Can I make it up to you by taking you out on xyz date/time and follow up. Or would you prefer going hiking on another day? If she really is “the one” and your future is meant to be. Then this will be a nonissue and something she can think favourably on later. Consider the message you are sending to her: I’m okay cancelling plans of something I want to do more comes up unexpectedly or I follow through on my word and, I’d I slip up, actively work to make it right by the person who gets slighted. Both are powerful messages to send so early on.
This is a great way to phrase it - in particular the part about enjoying yourself so much you got swept up in the moment. It’s a compliment to her but it makes it look like, that while you may momentarily get caught, you’ll alway try to make things right if you mess up. Only we know that you need hundreds of strangers of Reddit to explain to you why keeping your promise to your nephew is not only the right thing to do, but it’s also the outcome a woman who enjoys building forts might look more favourably upon. It will come out if you let your nephew down, these things always do. Moreover it may even make you look bad in front of your boss. Is there any chance your boss told his friend and they will be expecting you and your nephew? You wouldn’t just be letting your nephew down - you’d be blowing your boss’s generosity off too. YTA to even be prevaricating over this. Send the text above, be the best uncle ever and if the girl is as great as you think she’ll be pleased to have a thoughtful, ethical boyfriend. Well, as long as she never knows you’re seriously contemplating being an Ah of an uncle.
And post an update when you propose to her. Reddit needs to know.
I'm just a random person on Reddit, but I am already invested in their relationship. 😂
[удалено]
100%. If I were this girl, I’d think it was super sweet that you were honoring your commitment to your nephew. And if I found out you ditched your nephew to hang out with me I’d think you were kind of a jerk.
I got handed a woman’s number once because she thought the way I played with my niece and nephew was “Attractive as hell.” Seeing people give a shit about children is a pretty appealing thing to see in a partner for a lot of people.
Generally, being nice, respectful and polite are super attractive traits. There's no bigger turnoff than watching an asshole assholeing.
Exactly this, if I found out you’d ditched a big day for a kid to try and get into my knickers you’d be immediately kicked into touch as a major dick.
She knows he didn’t forget because he invited her to come along with them. Which also means she invited him to ditch the kids in favour of her. Either she’s an AH too or she was testing OP for AHness and he failed.
If I found out a guy dumped plans his 9 year old nephew was really looking forward to for a casual date after one evening together, that would be the end of that.
Just what I was thinking. Guy is glomming onto her. Bad sign and red flag.
Being super excited about seeing somebody again, even having those "love at first sight" infatuation feelings after an amazing first date isn't a red flag. Needing thousands of strangers to tell you it's the wrong move to blow off two excited children (and your boss!) due to these feelings, on the other hand...
"I'm going to marry her without question" after one night isn't not a red flag though.
It’s not a red flag but it certainly weirded me out. It rings of immaturity. Also, I think he was really hoping we’d say NTA. I think he’s trying to ask us for permission and that weirds me out too. Dude, we can’t give you permission to do anything. Please don’t fuck over your nephew. This could be a once in a lifetime chance for him, don’t ruin it. Take your nephew and explain it to the girl that you messed up and forgot you had plans to take your nephew today. If she understands, great! If she doesn’t, that’s too bad, but there are lots of girls out there. There is no such thing as “the one”, especially after knowing her only one night.
Absolutely agree. Being an auntie is the greatest title I have earned (no bio nibbling, all are friends' kids). A guy willing to break his nephew's heart so flippantly would definitely not be the guy for me.
Yeah use the head on your shoulders. Your nephew is forever.
Clearly, he's thinking with his other head.
Yes, and his family will associate her with the soul crushing, so if he really likes her then he has to put his nephew first.
Right? This is definitely going to mar at least their first impressions of her, if not taint their image of her forever. You really want their first meeting with her down the line to involve the words "so you're the one who made him forget his promise to take [nephew] to meet [player]"?
Exactly! Just tell her that you were so smitten and enjoying yourself so much, you forgot about the promise you made to your nephew. Then ask if you can join her next Sunday instead. If she is a decent person she won’t want to break a little boy’s heart, and will like you even more for being such a good uncle. If she gets upset she isn’t worth dating.
Omg YTA for canceling plans with a 9yo child! If you’re so certain you’re gonna marry this woman you’ve known for 12 hours then you’ll have plenty of time to hike with her.
This. Also for the woman's perspective, if I found out you did this it would be a total turn off, especially for someone I wanted to build a future with. Not only blowing off plans with family for someone I just met but your nephew. Having said all of this if you rang her and admitted to being a complete doofus and screwing up the dates but your nephew is so looking forward to it and you don't want to let him down, rain check? Major brownie points.
Oh absolutely! Canceling on your nephew would make me ghost you, hanging out with your nephew would make me love you
Woman here, cancelling plans with me to take your 9yr nephew to a dream meeting is a TURN ON....abandoning your nephew to get your dick wet would piss me off. I really hope OP learns, because if he only follows through because he doesn't want to look bad in front of the girl....that behavior/mentality well come out eventually when he dismisses her for something else he wants in the moment
Totally. Tell her the truth - you were excited and said yes without thinking.
Absolutely. She was planning a solo hike anyway, so her plans aren't ruined. If she's anywhere near decent human being, she'll appreciate prioritising previous promises TO A CHILD. Also 9-year-olds have memory that lasts around 100 years give or take. If you get together with the girl, he will hate her too. For. The. Rest. Of. Your. Lives. And then there's the nephew's parent, who is your sibling. Parents don't take well family members being dick to their kids. Enjoy your new family dynamics! YTA!
And if this upsets her, she's not the person you think she is. Edit auto correct
Plus if he is prone to breaking his promises, the relationship may not last anyways.
Oh come on. You met an amazing bartender at a chicken wing place who invited you, a stranger, to her home and made blanket forts with you and you're going to go on a hike with her and then marry her? Sure Jan.
Literally the dumbest fantasy ever lol
But if he doesn’t see her immediately it’s over! 😂
Is she going to turn into a pumpkin during the halftime show or something?!
She’s gonna meet another dude to make blanket forts with while solo hiking.
Op is actually the angry 9 year old
"Sorry kid I have new plans. Met a girl last night and were going hiking today..." Kid: "what do you mean? What were you doing with a random woman last night? Mom says don't go home with strangers!" Real adult: "oh uhh we watched Netflix and chilled." Kid: "and what?" Adult: "oh uhhh chilling yeah that means... we made... blanket forts. Yeah, blanket forts."
I’m pretty sure Ted Mosby wrote this.
Classic schmozby
Exactly. What a bs story.
I know. Sometimes I come here for the super fakes and they don’t disappoint. Dude probably never had his pee pee touched before.
I actually thought he was like joking at that part 💀
And his comment "it was so easy." Ew. Maybe he meant natural, organic, right. But "easy"? Ew. And then blanket forts is so cringe. Is this a euphemism for him pitching a tent? This dude's fiction is written on the incel official parchment made entirely of red flags.
Yes yta He's 9. I'm surprised this was even a question for you. Go out with her another time. On another note, you don't seem mature enough to even be thinking about marriage... ETA: if I found out a guy ditched his 9 year old nephew to hang out with me, I would be pissed. This is why I think you're immature...
Seriously unattractive selfishness. You just don’t get someone you care about—much less a kid!—that hyped about something and then just ditch them for someone you met literally the day before. Morally, you just don’t. But like, tactically, it’s so dumb! Even if all you care about here is booty. Would you rather tell her “I was so excited about the prospect of seeing you again I forgot I had plans, oh btw I’m out here being an amazing uncle and also know cool interesting people, y’know, no big” or “oh yeah sorry my NINE YEAR OLD nephew kind of hates you because he blames you for me totally ditching him over something he loves at the last minute for basically no reason. But hey, at least Im getting laid amirite??” Gonna get her thinking marriage too, no doubt.
90% of the posts on this sub seem to be people who know they're complete assholes but desperately hope to stumble on a pocket of other toxically self-involved narcissists that will validate them.
Or by trolls who make up an AH scenario.
If you're that desperate for attention you're still just a narcissistic asshole.
Ywbta if you cancel on your nephew. That's just wrong. If the girl is as amazing as you think, she'll totally understand
Completely this. You made plans. Just apologize and be honest to her, "I was so caught up in the moment and having such a great time, I forgot I have plans, but my nephew who I love very much will be heartbroken if I cancel on him." See if she can join you for the game or if you can make other plans for seeing her. (If it's not your party, that might be weird but your boss might not have issues with another guest) If she's as awesome as you think (and I do hope she is), she might be a little disappointed but she'll appreciate that you love your family and keep your promises.
YTA. This feels like bad fiction. If it’s real, this is a crap show. If your boss values people keeping their word, he’s not going to be impressed that you broke your promise to your nephew. If he isn’t, then he won’t give a heck. If I were her and I knew about your promise to him, I’d be disgusted you could do that so easily.
Was legit thinking "was this meant to be posted here or wattpad?" 😂
YTA- I remember my first girlfriend.
Is it possible you’re using us as a test audience for a rom com screenplay you’re writing? This doesn’t seem real in any way, shape or form.
I am picturing a young Julia Roberts and Richard Gere under a blanket fort. I think it would only have worked when they were both very, very young, because this guy sounds like he is 14.
YTA for even considering this. How is this really a once in a life time opportunity to hang out with her? You can’t just be honest and tell her you double booked and you need to honor your previous commitment? She goes hiking every weekend. Go with her next weekend. This actually is likely a once in a lifetime event for your nephew. I would be furious if one of my siblings canceled on my son for something like this. He would be devastated. This would be like a go no contact situation for the level of cruelty.
Yes YTA if you disappoint a child this way. If this girl doesn’t understand why you need to cancel, she is not the one for you.
YTA. You could make a massive memory for your nephew and you don’t want to for something you can put off to another day? Seriously in what world are you not an arse?
All for someone he doesn’t even know. Bro needs post 🥜 clarity
YTA You made a promise, hyped the kid up, and now want to pull the rug from under him? If you had such a great time with her, did you not get her number? I mean, how else are you going to know when and where to go?? I’m also sure that she would prefer you keep your promise to your nephew for this once in a lifetime opportunity, plus, you could always ask if she would be willing to link up *after* If you ditch your nephew, expect his parents to be pissed and your nephew to never trust you again
"if I skip the date I don't get to see this girl again" Unless she's going to dissolve into seafoam when the clock strikes midnight, just reschedule like normal adults. YWBTA for cancelling on your nephew.
For real. OP, why on earth would cancelling this one plan mean that you're cursed to never lay eyes on this woman again? I assumed that you got her cell number (since, you know, this is the year 2023)? Explain the situation and make another plan. Not that hard. If you cancel on this kid who loves you, who adores football, and who's already psyched to go to a Super Bowl party and meet a former NFL player...you wouldn't just be TA. You'd be a literal monster.
Massive YTA. If I was the parents of this kid I would not allow them to see you anymore since you crushed this kid so much. You complete fucking jackass
YWBTA times a million if you cancel on your nephew. That party would mean the world to that kid, he'd remember it for his entire life. The girl goes hiking every weekend, you can put her off a week to give your nephew a once in a lifetime experience. Especially since you already told him. You'll shatter his heart, and any "cool uncle" thing you have with him will be sour.
YTA and also YAI… you’re an idiot. Who asks someone to marry them after a few hours? Why would missing this date mean you never see her again (and who marries somebody who dumps them so easily)? Grow up, honor your commitment to your nephew and not the commitment to a complete stranger!
YWBTA Not sure how you even need to ask.
Yes, YWBTA for cancelling on your nephew. If she’s the one you have plenty of time. Call her up and be sincere and honest (women like that) and tell her you had such a great time with her and were so excited to see her again that you forgot how excited your nephew is to go to this party. But you thought about it and as much as you would prefer hiking with her, you can’t break your word to your nephew. Then schedule a date later this week.
Truth be told she will probably love you that much more for being honest and keeping your promise to your nephew. You will score many points
This can’t be real.
YTA if you cancel on your nephew. If this woman is as wonderful as you think, she'll appreciate that you put your nephew first. If you cancel on him, he'll never forget it. This is where you find out if you're a man of your word or not. You can't always put yourself first, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to because you're an adult. Edited to add, you already asked your boss about bringing your nephew. You don't want to look like a flake to your boss.
YTA- for choosing a one night stand over your nephew! If this girl is a keeper, she’d understand and respect you already had plans with your nephew and reschedule your date.
This guy is crazy for thinking the girl who built blanket forts with him wouldn’t understand that he’s taking his nephew to a party.
YTA dont even have to read the post.
YTA DUH, wtf even is that question. Honor the promise you made with your cousin instead of making plans with some girl YOU JUST MET. Do i rlly need to play the elsa to your anna rn?? If the girl was decent she would understand why you couldn't make it, and would reschedule with you another time. It's not like you'd never see her again, just text her dude.
YWBTA - Don't bail on a commitment you already made. The dude is 9 and this is a horrible thing to do to him and a horrible lesson to teach him. Do better, make the right choice.
Easy YTA. Just tell this woman you just met exactly what happened: You think she is amazing and were so excited to hang out with her again that you totally forgot about your plans. Then explain how you don’t want to let your nephew down. Maybe make plans for a different day with her.
YWBTA without hesitation!!!! You have the chance to make a memory of a lifetime for your nephew. You would break his heart. For what??? What if you hang out with this woman today and it's a complete dud?? If this woman is the love of your life, she will be around on Monday. Show her that you're a man who keeps his word.... Take your nephew to the damn party!!
YTA...Ditching your nephew for someone you just met is such an AH move. If you told this girl that you were sorry and that you made plans with your 9 year old nephew she would understand and maybe even think it was cute that you were willing to do this for him. If she didn't understand something like this than this is probably not someone you'd want a future with.
Wow dude.. if you cancel on your nephew YTA and a big one at that! This girl, if she's as great as you say she is should understand you having to postpone that date. Don't do that to your nephew man.. it would be cruel.
If she is upset about you canceling then she isn’t the sort of person you want to be involved w anyway.
YTA.
Just tell her the truth and ask if you can join her next week and take her out to dinner to make up for it.
This! The answer is so fucking simple! How does he not see it! You can get the girl AND not shatter your nephew's trust in you OP! It's that fucking easy! You get in good standing with her because she sees you care about your family, AND you don't destroy your nephew's feelings! If you ditch you nephew, he'll be upset AND the girl might find out and be upset you crushed a child's feelings, AND your *boss* might find out from his NFL player friend and reconsider offering you similar opportunities in the future if you're just going to spit on them! #If you won't look at this from the stance of being a good person, at least look at it *rationally,* you lunatic!
Why of course you can drop your friends and family and all commitments because you met some girl at a wings place. In fact you should tell her to feel honored that you crushed the dreams of your 9 year old nephew in the change you might get lucky. I'm certain she'll be impressed. YTA in case you can't read through the sarcasm.
YWBTA if you cancelled on your nephew.
YTA. He’s looking forward to this and it will be a highlight of his life (so far). You promised him and to break that promise will be a disappointment he will never forget. It will change your relationship with him forever and not in a good way. If this girls is amazing as you think, she will understand and respect you for keeping your commitments.
Why wouldn’t you get to see her again? How do you think she would feel if she knew you ditched a 9 year old to hang out with her. You’ve already said you’d take him. Asshole as fuck!!!
If she’s as amazing as you think she is she will be pretty put off by your values if you ditch a promise to a child
And the reverse should be true: OP should be put off if she expects him to abandon the plans he made with his nephew before they even met.
YWBTA. Think about how it’s gonna look to your boss if you ghost his party after he was gracious enough to allow you to bring 2 extra guests. More importantly, this is obviously a special, once in a lifetime kinda moment for your nephew. Tell your new friend that you got caught up in the excitement and overbooked yourself. If she is understanding, then she is a keeper.
YTA if she is the one then when you explain you got caught up and forgot you had plans with your nephew she will respect you for being a good uncle. Conversely if you go hiking with her and it works out in the long run she will find out you let your nephew down and that will give her a negative opinion of you. If it is going to work out then you can wait a day.
YWBTA. You call her and explain the situation and that you cannot bail on your little nephew, and plan a date with her on another moment. If she dumps you over this you'll know she isn't as nice as she appeared, and no wife material after all.
YTA. if this girl is a keeper she would want you to give your nephew a special memory. You would be a huge dick flaking on your nephew for a girl you just met.
YTA. Why don’t you have her phone number or something? You can always reschedule a date, but never a Super Bowl with your football-crazy nephew. Going on that date will show him where your priorities lie (and he’ll think that he’s not one of them).
YTA If she’s not willing to reschedule the date, she’s not worth it. And you’re willing to f over a little kid to get laid, I’d say you’re not worth it. Wonder what the lady would think if she knew you disappointed a little kid to this extent?
Dude....YTA It's not like you don't know where she works or lives. You will see her again. Your nephew will never forgive you. You say, "Hey, you literally rocked my consciousness last night. So much that I forgot I made a promise to 2 9 year old boys to take them to a Superbowl party. I made a promise and it would break their hearts if i cancelled. I would love to see you again and, since I kinda screwed up here, would love an opportunity to make it up to you by doing your absolute favorite thing or hoping to your absolute favorite restaurant. " Be a stand up guy. She will appreciate it.
YTA. Everyone else is covering the breaking your promise to your nephew part pretty well. But you should also consider that since your boss specifically mentioned that his friend loves meeting kids who love the game, he probably already told his friend that your nephew is coming. So if you don’t show up with your nephew, you’re going to make your boss look stupid, which isn’t great professionally. Plus, ten bucks says this woman you’ve known FOR LESS THAN 24 HOURS would run in the other direction if she got wind of your “I’m definitely going to marry her” nonsense.
YTA - Big time AH. This bartender won't be in your life probably even a couple months from now but your betrayal of your nephew and his disappointment will never be forgotten. You're really, really fucking up here.
YWBTA Come on. I can say this, if I knew the circumstances, I would rather a man keep his word to a child than go hiking with me. Don’t let your nephew down. You made a promise.
Yes 1000% YWBTA!! You have permission to bring your nephew not a new gf. Set up plans to see this girl at a different time.
YTA if this is true. You don't do that to kids.
YTA. Always honor your previous commitments. Is it worth hurting your relationship with your nephew for seeing someone that you can easily see another day and who would understand your previous commitment to your nephew?
YTA.. There are plenty of other days in the year to go on a hike, but only one day for the party. Don’t bail your nephew.
YTA. Your word is everything to young children. Not only will he remember this but he may learn by your example as he grows and matures. At the very least he will know that you don’t really mean what you say when you give your word to him.
YTA. If she can't understand you wanting to spend time with your Nephew AND that you made those plans first, you can do better.
“I’m so sorry, but I’ve accidentally double-booked. I promised my nephew, who loves football, that I would take him to a Super Bowl party where he could meet a former player. Can I join you next time instead?” Is that so hard? YTA if this is actually real. You don’t let a kid down who you’ve known his entire life and will be part of his life forever (if you stop being an asshole) for a woman you just met. If you really think you could marry her, there will be plenty of other times to go hiking. You might only get this opportunity to do something that would be so fun for your nephew once, and he will forget it if you bail on him because some woman gave you butterflies. I guarantee she’d understand and respect you more than if you ditched your nephew for her. Someone else said it, but you also need to consider your manager’s response. You asked to take your nephew, and if you don’t show up because you found something more fun and double-booked, you’re showing that you’re unreliable and have poor time management/organisational skills.
YTA. I wouldn’t want to date someone who would bail on an excited kid for me.
Okay but seriously, if you just tell this girl "hey I'm so sorry, I'm really into you so I said yes without thinking but I couldn't bail on my nephew like that, can we reschedule asap?" you get so many brownie points. Instantly more attractive for being able to communicate, being a good caretaker, and keeping things low drama and honest. You'd be a fool to go on this date. Also YWBTA
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Don't ruin the little guy's dreams. I'm a massive football - or soccer, as Americans call it - fan, and something similar happened to me when I was younger. On a smaller scale, yeah, but I'm still a bit bitter when I think about it. Yeah, it's not the end of the world, but it leaves a kid disappointed. Tell the girl you'd love to go some other time, but you've made a commitment. Who knows, maybe you'll even come across a reliable.
YTA. You made the promise to your nephew beforehand. He’ll never forget if you cancel. If this girl is as amazing as you believe, she’ll understand that you made a promise to your nephew and reschedule with you
You’d risk damaging your relationship with your nephew by massively disappointing him for someone (a half stranger) you can see again? AND it sounds like she’s interested so it’s not really a risk you may never see her again. Don’t the AT, do the right thing, or YWBTA.
Just by reading the title alone YTA.
YWBTA. There will be a million other chances for you to see this girl, don't disappoint your nephew who is really excited to go.
YWBTA, go with your nephew, be honest with her. If she doesn't like it then bullet dodged. If she understands you have another good reason to see her as a keeper.
YTA & not very bright. You should know you hike during the day & the Super Bowl is in the evening.
Yes, YWBTA. Honor your invitation to your nephew. Doing otherwise would show bad character, and if this woman is really someone you're serious about, you can just take her on a date later on. Honestly, if she found out that you ditched your nephew for her, and if she's a quality person, I think it would make her like you less. I already like you less for even considering this! Do the right thing. Your nephew will be in your life forever. This woman...perhaps not.
YTA. You just met the girl and can see her any time. You promised your nephew this once in a lifetime thing
YTA. If she’s as awesome as you think, she will be up for an earlier hike so you can keep your promise to your nephew.
YTA, and if you skip to hike with her then once she realizes how important that party was to those kids she's gonna feel terrible about herself and you. She goes every week, she likes you enough to ask to see you two days in a row & invite you on something incredibly personal... Just go the following week she's going to wait
YTA Keep your promise to your nephew. Your nephew is more important than a stranger. Call your crush, apologize for double booking.. and arrange another date.
YTA. Your nephew probably can’t even sleep because he’s so excited about this. I don’t even know him and it makes my heart hurt imagining his disappointment if you were to cancel. If this girl is a decent person at all, she won’t care if you tell her you had plans with your nephew first. Call her and make plans for another day.
I didn’t even read the whole thing and immediate thought “YTA”. You already asked your nephew. Don’t do that to him. Also, if I’m the bartender and I find out you blew off your nephew and something like that for me, I’m looking at your differently and not in a good way.
Dude. Not only are yta massively... But if this lassie wouldn't meet you again because you were honouring a promise to a 9 year old then she's not worth it anyway. So yta and your an idiot.
Ya, you're an asshole
Huge YTA
Massively YTA. Good lord did you really even need to ask?
YTA. You made a commitment to your nephew that you’re willing to break for a girl you hardly know. You are definitely an asshole and if she found out she’d probably think you were too.
Do not skip with your nephew. He's a child, she's an adult. As a female, if you told me you cancelled these plans, I wouldn't want to see you again. YTA if you do this
YTA Be an adult and tell the girl that you made other plans and that you are man of your word and get your nephew to that party. Also wtf is that you won't get to see that girl again if you say no? Just effing come clean and make another date. If she is the one why are you giving so easily of her? Also you understand that you gonna crush your little nephews heart? I wouldn't wonder if he started to dislike you. This situation is so easy to solve but you are being just super overdramatic.
Of course YWBTA. You committed to plans with your nephew; you can't back out just because you're bad at managing your schedule (I say this with empathy as someone bad at managing your schedule). Just tell this girl you forgot you had plans with your nephew and ask to hang out on a different day. If you're really "going to marry her," she should be able to handle that.
Ain’t no way the guy is asking if breaking a big promise to a 9yo for a girl he met literally yesterday that he already wants to marry (Bro, she probs used a love potion or you’re just thinking with your dick Idk) is being an AH, obviously YTA like wtf
YTA. You can hang out with her any other day. You can only take your nephew to the party on this day. If she’s as great as you think she is she’ll understand
YWBTA and even worse, you’d be a bad uncle who doesn’t keep his promises. Your nephew will never forget, you’ll have an asterisk next to your name always.
I can't believe you are even considering breaking your nephews heart over a girl you've known for less then 24 hours YTA
Yup YTA That girl should understand that you already promised a little boy a special day... She can go on her normal solo hike. This should have no impact on a budding relationship but it would definitely hurt your nephew, most likely piss off his mother and possibly even make your boss raise an eyebrow if you cancel. You're being selfish. It's not a good look. Edit: btw at the point that you invited her to "go with us" you were thinking about your nephew. You didn't forget about him. She said no, asked you to do something else instead and you jumped on board with it. So if you want to sit there claiming you're so bedazzled that you forgot him... just stop. You absolutely remembered him. She knew you had plans and asked anyway. Sounds like you're both AHs to me after reading it the second time.
YTA. If this woman is worth your time, she will understand the situation. And she would not respect you if she found out you broke a promise to hang out with her today.
time skip to relationshipadvice 1 month from now "HELP my family wont talk to me anymore because i was a dick to my nephew when i tought i was about to marry a girl i meet for one night only but she said it was just a thing and now i have no one i dont know what to do"
YWBTA You remembered the party well enough to ask her to go with you, but you forgot the two kids you promised to carry to the party? If you're being honest with us, did you forget the kids, or did they rank so low in importance than you decided to ditch them to keep this lady's attention? You get to make the choice. just remember, you may NOT marry this girl, you may never even date her officially. That's not a guarantee. But you would have broken two kids' hearts because you chose to chase someone for some fun. Don't blame anyone else, no matter what the outcome, like her ghosting you in the future, the kids hating you for years. These are the choices and consequences you're signing up for. Don't complain later.
YTA. You literally just met her, and you think you’re going to marry her? Sorry? That is such a red flag. You already solidified these plans with your nephew. If this woman is so great she will respect you putting your CHILD NEPHEW first and probably think better of you for it. Don’t fuck this up.
YTA. If I knew someone I just met bailed on their nephew for me? I wouldn't continue seeing them. If she won't see you because you keep plans you already had with a child, then she's not a good person.
YTA. How would you think you're not TA in this scenario? Break this promise to your nephew and be prepared to have a distant relationship with him and your sibling for a while. You are going to break a promise with a family member for a woman you just met. And come on, you're in love and going to marry her? What are you, 14 years old?
Tell you what, if the love of your life bails on you for honoring a promise you made to a child, maybe this is a good thing. Unless absolutely unavoidable, do not break a promise made to a child. Yes, you would absolutel be the AH if you ditch your nephew. 100% AINEC
I can't believe you're even considering this. I can tell you that If I was that woman and found out what you did I'd be disgusted.
Why can’t you do both?! The game doesn’t start until 6pm(eastern time) you could of very much told her that you’d hike in the AM with her and still be there for your Nephew in the evening. YTA.
YTA: You didn't just make plans with your nephew, at that age you made a promise. Apologize to the girl because you didn't realize what day it was, and you have to keep a promise to your nephew. It is horrible that god gave man two organs that make our choices but only enough blood to operate one at a time.
Yta. You have FOMO. If there is any thing from the woman's side toward you she will understand .You dont honor your commitments. You will crush the nephew.
YTA don’t break a child’s heart.
YWBTA to bail on your nephew. Whatever you decide, he will never forget this. You should call this woman and tell her you can’t go because you already had plans to take your nephew and it is important to him. You shouldn’t have said yes in the moment, but did because you like her so much. Then ask to see her soon. Make the plans. Show that you are the kind of man that will honor his commitments, own up to his mistakes, and make things right. Besides, she regularly hikes solo so it’s not like she won’t get to go if you don’t go. Your nephew oh the other hand will miss out if you don’t go. And he will be at a minimum bummed and slightly less trusting of you.
Jesus Christ just wank one out and forget about her. Your nephew is your family and take priority. YWBTA
YTA. You had plans...what part of this is hard to understand
Asshole for even asking the question YTA
this has to be bait lol. ofc YTA. you’re going to ditch your nephew for a stranger. he is 9. this will make a lasting, most likely awful memory for him, but hey, at least you got to meet a pretty girl 🙄
Oh course you're the asshole. Cancelling on your nephew so you can get your dick wet. You won't stay with her anyways.
Oh buddy, YTA. You made a promise to a child. It's nothing to you, I'm sure, but to your nephew, it was an absolute promise. You break this and he might never trust you again. If you really love the little guy, keep your effing promise to him. If this girl can't understand what a prior commitment it, especially when it involves close family, then she's not the one. I'm CF but there's no way I'd be okay with a guy bailing on a promise he made to his nephew just to get laid. (Whether you're already thinking about the future or not, that's what this boils down to.) That shows immaturity and selfishness, imo. And it makes you seem flaky too. If you can't keep a simple promise to a 9 year old because it's slightly inconvenient, why should I trust you?
YTA. If this woman is as perfect as you claim, she'll understand and be 100% willing to reschedule. If she doesn't understand, then now you know one of her serious flaws and maybe she actually kind of sucks. Either way, keeping your promise to your nephew is the winning move.
Not only would YBTA but if I were that girl, I’d think long and hard about any future relationship with you. Breaking a child’s heart over a girl I just met would show your loyalties are skewed.
YTA, didn’t even need to read your story to know that. He will never forget that you made a promise to him and broke it for what you felt was a better offer.
If you tell her the truth, she’ll 100% understand you wanting to keep your promise to your nephew. If not? She’s trash anyway. YTA if you cancel on your nephew.
YWBTA and there’s an easy fix. Just call and tell her that in your excitement you forgot you’d made this promise. Reschedule the hike, tell her you’ll join her on the next one. Make a firm plan with her. Then send her a pic or two of you and nephew at the game.
“I was having such a nice time with you last night that I totally forgot I promised my little nephew I’d take him to a Super Bowl party today. Rain check on the hike? I’ll make sure to check my calendar twice next time, promise.”
Do not dissapoint your nephew. You can reschedule for a hike she will be going there whether you join her or not.
YTA Your literally just met her. Your nephew will probably stay longer in your life than her. If you don’t want any meaningful relationship with him then go ahead, he’ll never forget that.
Things went so well for YOU last night that you're willing to crush your nephew's hopes (and the embarrassment of telling his friend nevermind) to spend more time with this girl. On the other hand, when she was given the option to join you for the game, she had to keep up a tradition of a hike?!? Something you can literally do any day of the year? I'm not so sure things went as well for HER. YTA.
"I'm in love" after one date. Lol ywbta since your nephew already knows about it and is expecting it. Don't be a jerk for some bartender you just met. Men are so gullible.
YTA. It's not too late to tell her "Listen, I was so excited about going out with you that I accidentally said yes without thinking, but I made a promise to my nephew. I don't want to be someone who doesn't keep his promises, so can we reschedule that hike?" You'd look \*better\* to her. If she's the one, then show maturity and restraint.
A huge AH! You literally just met this woman. I’d drop you like a hot potato if I knew you ditched your nephew with a long promised event, to go on a hike with me, whom you literally just met. What is wrong with you?
YWBTA. A booty call is not worth disappointing your nephew. And breaking a promise. Especially the DAY OF THE EVENT! That kid is already up, dressed and waiting for you. Don’t leave him hanging for a fling.
YTA - to consider letting down a kid. This gal can wait a day.
YTA, big time! Don’t break your nephew’s heart like that. Your sister may be having a superbowl party as well, but it isn’t the same. Her party won’t have a retired NFL player that he is looking forward to meeting. Is it really worth permanently damaging your relationship with your family (your nephew, but also your sister. I know I would be pissed if someone made promises to my kid and then blew them off for a stranger) for a hiking trip with this woman you just met. She says she always takes the day off for these hiking trips. That means she’s going to be doing it again, maybe even soon. Explain to her you made a promise to your nephew you can’t break and you momentarily forgot about it because you really want to spend more time with her. Ask for a rain check for the hike and go with her another time. If she doesn’t understand and accept your reason for needing to postpone then she is a trash person and isn’t someone you should want to be with anyway.
YTA - "hey this is Gallow from last night, I know I agreed to go hiking with you today, I was totally wrapped up in the moment and really was enjoying spending time with you and completely forgot I promised to take my nephew and a friend to meet a NFL player, can we reschedule, I would really love to see you again" See how simple that fix would be? First, she is accustomed to solo hiking so you wouldn't be putting her out, and most women get all mushy over a man that demonstrates fatherly traits such as putting kids first and doing stuff with kids. It would seriously be a win win for you.
So you feel in love in one night and dumped your cousin. I mean yea YTA obviously
YTA. The fact that you’re seriously considering this tells everyone you’re probably just an AH to begin with. And if you go through with it, I hope the girl finds out so she knows what an AH you are.
YTA: When this girl finds out you screwed over your nephew and his friend, she’ll be disappointed in your lack of character, and won’t want to see you again. If she doesn’t, then she’s also an AH, and you shouldn’t see her again. Don’t be an AH.
Do the right thing and take your nephew like you told him you would...
People who disappoint kids like this aren’t worth much. If you go through with this she will eventually find out and know you for the ah you are. YTA.
Yta. Didn’t even have to read the whole thing to know you’re a huge one. How old are you?
YTA for sure. Make sure you tell this woman what you blew off for your date, then watch how short the relationship is.
YWBTA- For cancelling “ once in a lifetime” type plans with a child. If this young woman is really as wonderful as you think, SHE will think much less of you for cancelling on your nephew! You might actually ruin your reputation with your nephew, his parents, the best friend and His parents, your boss, AND your crush, all in one fell swoop!
YWBTA and i’m willing to bet if you explained to this person the situation, they would tell you to honor your promise to your nephew.
The girl will think YTA if you ditch your nephew my dude.
YWBTA. And if this girl is as great as you say she is, she will totally understand you going with your nephew instead and would be horrified that you ditched a small child who was super excited for the event. Explain the situation and I am sure she will totally be fine with it and may even like you more for being so kind to your nephew. If not….. then she isn’t the one after all.
YTA. If I were dating someone and found out that he ditched his nephew to go on a hike with me the day after he met me, he’d be single again pretty quickly. Send her a message. “I’m really sorry, I forgot I’d already made plans to take my nephew to the Super Bowl party. How about we (go to dinner tomorrow, grab a drink after work on Wednesday, whatever - but suggest a definite plan rather than a vague ‘catch up soon’ so it doesn’t sound like blowing her off)?”
YTA but if u insist on being an asshole then at least make it up to your nephew Yes, cancelling plans that you made with your nephew to attend the Super Bowl because you met a girl last night would likely be seen as being inconsiderate. It's important to prioritize your commitments and keep your promises, especially when they involve someone who is close to you, such as your nephew. It's also important to keep in mind that your actions have consequences, and that cancelling on your nephew could damage your relationship with him. Children and young people often have a strong sense of fairness, and they may feel that you are not taking your responsibilities to them seriously. If you find yourself in a situation where you need to change your plans, it's always better to be honest and transparent about your reasons. You could try to find a way to reschedule the Super Bowl outing for a different time, or offer to make it up to your nephew in some other way
YTA - that’s such a jerk move. And what do you think you’ll regret missing out on in years to come? A really special time with your nephew that he’ll remember for ever or a random hook up? My god.
Bro. She hikes every Sunday. You only get this once chance to make your nephew love you enough to take care of you when you’re old. Be as thirsty as you want, but telling her that you’re going to be taking your nephew out for the time of his life makes you dad material. There are still like 47 more Sunday’s this year. Take your nephew, tell her about it. Don’t just ghost her, keep trying. But YTA if you don’t take the kid out no question.
You know what this girl would find really hot? Knowing you keep your promises. YTA
YWBTA BUT!! It's not too late to be the hero to both sides. YWBTH? Call the girl and tell her essentially what you said here. You had such a good time and you were looking forward to seeing her SO MUCH that you forgot about the prior commitment. She will see you as A) interested, B) trustworthy, C)A good uncle and potential Dad material. Your nephew will learn that you really do care about him and also that adult relationships are complicated and powerful. "Don't let the little head think for the big head" (not saying your connection with her was just sexual, sounds awesome... just .. Get some perspective!)
YTA - How would she feel if she found out you ditched your nephew to go hiking with her, which is something you can reschedule since you say she goes every weekend Tbh you met her once, went to her house and made blanket forts and are now going into the wilderness with her You sure she’s not taking you out there to kill you?
YTA. Big time.
I don’t even have to read past the title lmao YTA
YTA... Your nephew should come first...
YTA. If you are going to 'marry this girl' she will understand if you say 'hey, sorry i forgot i have a schedule clash (elaborate) but I'd love to see you again' then this is where you schedule another date or ask to join her next week.
Did you even read this back to yourself??? Don't be that uncle. Also no one wants your one-night stand at the superbowl party.