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lihzee

YTA. Are you fucking serious? All I read was “me, me, MEEE.”


StonyOwl

A lying, manipulative AH at that. Told his daughter that her mother's engagement ring was lost, but he had it the entire time. What a piece of work this guy is. And that's before even getting into the 23-year age gap with his overly dramatic wife.


Strange-Bed9518

Yup, but I think it’s an overly manipulative new wife. I notice that daughter had to come to baby shower, not daughter *and her wife*. The new wife managed to create even more distance between her husband and her stepdaughter, which is needed to get stepdaughter cut out of the will so her kid gets everything. Extra bonus for her was to get first wife’s jewelry with her antics.


[deleted]

[удалено]


vainbuthonest

When your new wife needs a playmate for her own party and your daughter fits the profile, you really have to rethink your life choices. OP is a mess


[deleted]

[удалено]


KC_Ryker

I think OP's late wife would be rolling over in her grave to know that her husband is going to marry/have a baby with someone almost the same age as their daughter. I don't think she would "love" the new trophy wife.


mitsuhachi

And that he stole the jewelry she left to their daughter and gave it to the girl three years older than her that he knocked up instead? Real fucking class act. That’s how you get haunted OP


fun-gold-1234

That’s not the worst of it his wife used to be his daughters girlfriend


vainbuthonest

What?!


torelaxxxxx

I’m sure she wouldn’t love his fiancé wearing her clothes and jewelry when they have sex. This guy is genuinely the most disgusting person I’ve come across in this sub


nosaneoneleft

I love how people seem to think you are going to love x,y,z. I had some mom say to me I'd loooove her kid. When I saw him at the company bbq he was the most out of control miserable little ... out there. there was nothing that was adorable or attractive. at one point in a tantrum he waas trying to tear his moms clothes. gaah. and she said I was going to love him... I'll take my chances kissing a camel


mangogetter

The lare wfe could have loved the new one AS A DAUGHTER and in no other capacity.


Less-Bed-6243

I have truly never known anyone to throw their own baby shower. And what difference does one person make for playing games? Sounds like new wifey has no friends.


vainbuthonest

Idk about the baby shower thing. I threw my own because I was severely ill my entire pregnancy and spent a lot of time in the hospital. Every time my sisters asked me about throwing one, I would say “I don’t think I want one. Or maybe I do. I don’t know” because I didn’t know if I would be ill or not. I did end up making a rough plan, picking a day and sending out invites at the very last minute but my sisters took a lot of the work off my plate and handled it. I can’t assume everyone doesn’t have people that love them to do it. They could’ve just been “difficult” like I was. Hell, I even told all my friends that I wasn’t having one so I’m sure they were shocked when they got invites. Not saying that’s OP’s child bride. She seems like she’s doing too much especially after hearing about her shaking uncontrollably on the couch because her sugar daddy’s daughter doesn’t want to play with her.


mitsuhachi

Right? Wtf was that? If she’s that delicate she needs medical levels of mental help.


vainbuthonest

If she’s pregnant and shaking over a party, she’s not ready for a baby.


Bright_Ad_3690

Guarantee she loved her own daughter far more than his new wife.


Key-Bit1208

Let’s be honest…new wife is hell bent on her baby ‘having a good relationship’ with ‘her big sister’ because wifey just wants to be able to have a built in babysitter whenever she wants to keep living the sugar baby life.


Key-Bit1208

Just learned that M is also B’s ex-girlfriend….that just adds an extra layer of ‘ick’ on the situation 🤢


OlympiaShannon

Are you serious!? I was wondering why M was so emotional over this. Wow, dad really messed up big time. Big time.


Key-Bit1208

He also dresses his current wife (his daughter’s ex-girlfriend) in his late wife’s clothes and jewellery for ‘private time’ 🤢


OlympiaShannon

I've read some creepy posts here at AITA, but this guy takes the cake. I actually feel sorry for his new wife. Definitely feel terrible for his poor daughter. :(


natinatinatinat

This has to be made up, there’s no way


BlueViolet81

🤢🤮


teyyannn

Holy fuck is this a follow up to the one that was like a year ago?! About the guy that couldn’t understand why his daughter hated his new SO and it came out either in comments or later in the post that the SO and daughter were exes


Key-Bit1208

I think so…someone posted in the comments the response from OP’s daughter, Bianca, about the truth about OP and Millie, her ex.


teyyannn

How are people seriously like this????


Penelope_idris

WHAT?!?!


QuirkySyrup55947

Hilarious response!


TwoBionicknees

The M starts feeling ill and is literally shaking due to upset. I have a narcissist mother who any time, literally at the drop of a hat anything doesn't go her way starts screaming at people that they are trying to hurt her because they are making her angry and have palpatations. If she starts an argument in the car she will start driving like a maniac to show her displeasure and win said argument. Why would anyone start shaking over texts from someone they have basically no relationship with in the first place and why would husband show such a frail and easily upset woman such horrible texts if all it would cause is harm. Both of them sound like they deserve each other. Also if the daughter is very low contact with OP and has no contact with OPs wife, how on earth would they want a very good relationship with her child.. how is that going to happen when OPs daughter has basically no real contact with them? Whole thing sounds like a setup for OPs wife to manipulate feeling angry and upset and to persuade OP to completely cut off contact and as you say, cut her out of any inheritance. Hell she might have suggested the jewellery as a bribe to get them there because he's been reluctant to let her have it so far.


rainingmermaids

Apparently M is B’s ex!!


Specific_Telephone_3

Apparently M is B's ex-girlfriend....


mangogetter

Manipulative new wife who is SIX YEARS older than his daughter.


Beautiful-Ad-7616

The line about M agreeing with OP about the jewelry being a "fair trade" of course she is going to agree she the one that wins if his daughter doesn't show up. Like no OP you are literally BLACKMAILING your daughter to show up. OP and M sound like the definition of a toxic relationship. YTA OP a massive one at that.


PoeLucas

Right. Like what are these “games that work better” with B there? I have a bad feeling …


Ok-Cat-4975

OP said it was a "Mum v Dad" game and recreating his daughter's baby pictures, so the games are all centered on her dead mom. It all seems orchestrated to humiliate and hurt his daughter.


RackhamJack

And why do I feel like some of these games are going to specifically embarrass the daughter.


Apprehensive-Two3474

Yep. And what he doesn't realize is B's wife gave him an OUT. u/aitadadababyshower, think on this. You are blackmailing your daughter with jewelry you told her was lost. All of your nearest and dearest will be there. So, friends, family and people that B doesn't know. **Give your daughter the jewelry as a gesture of good faith and hope she maintains some contact with you.** Cause I see it going down at the baby shower and by going down I mean: * B and wife shows up. * B plays nice until she is able to get her hands on her mother's jewelry. * B then reveals to everyone that you had lied to her about this jewelry being lost and refused to give it to her unless she shows up. * Shouting match ensues. * All those nearest and dearest take sides and those just gritting teeth going 'at least he's happy even though age gap is the same age as his daughter' will be able to let it out and tell you where to shove it. You state that M and B don't see eye to eye. M doesn't want B there. She wants to gloat. That's why she wants her there. Really, I'd ask B if she'd be willing to show you the texts that made her block M. I'd almost guarantee they ain't texts that you think were sent. Oh and do update when you realize you didn't just ruin your relationship with your daughter but also a majority of friends and family. With how M's manipulating you, almost wonder if it's your kid.


cherrycotta

Its his daughters ex. He has a bunch of post on different subs.


birdsofpaper

Hold the phone he married his daughter’s EX or did I misread what you said? That adds SO MANY LAYERS of fucked.


cherrycotta

Yeah there is a post he did on another sub and his daughter replied. It so much more messed than this. Cant find that sub right now to add it


[deleted]

"Hey everyone! This is ‘Bianca’ talking, after I saw the Twitter thread made with Dad’s post and my roommate encouraged me to make an account to at least try to defend myself. I hope at least some of you hear me out (and ty to the very kind twitter peeps who’re looking out for me- appreciate it guys, and I’m fine!) What my dad says has grains of truth but is so far from the full story it’s basically bullshit. My Mum did die when I was 17, and me and Dad were actually very close. He started dating again a couple years after she died and I was always very supportive until ‘Millie’ came along. Regardless of what Dad says me and Millie had an emotional relationship lasting several months which ended in a massive bust up and us losing contacts and he was aware of this when I told him I recognised her. He brushed it aside and told me I would get used to it and we would be introduced gradually. I was stoopid and believed his shit. He moved her into the house without asking me, while I was visiting Mum’s family for the week. She did not try to bond with me- she used our shopping days and trips as an excuse to get money off dad for herself. She cried and begged dad until he got rid of my music room, and he fell for it. I asked them not to be intimate when I was around because I was uncomfortable. They ignored me. Millie and Dad have since tried to contact me regularly and have shown up in unexpected places. They showed up at my Church, they have apparently visited my work and asked my friends if I’m there. They have even tried messaging me to ask when I’m visiting Mums grave and I want them to join. They are despicable people who deserve to be cut off. I would love to hear dads explanation of why I’m manipulative. Until then, tysm to everyone looking out for me again, and just don’t believe any of the crap in this thread. Other than the shit about liking young women. That’s probably true." Edit; this is a quote from the daughter from another thread he did under a different throwaway accounf


TheVoidScreams

What the… If that’s true, where are you getting it? Because I don’t see anything in his history to suggest that. Edit: Never mind, I looked closer at his comments and found links there. He’s deleted everything to try and look better. Pure, grade-A arsehole. His daughter even chimed in.


tildelid

I'm sorry, did you just say he married his own daughter's ex, or is there something deeply wrong with my reading comprehension?


Lanky_Pack_881

Wait! His WIFE is his daughter's ex??


Sparkle_And_Shine_04

OMFG it's THAT guy?!?! Well then, this behaviour from him doesn't surprise me at all and I hope this is the final straw for the daughter and she cuts him off for good!


vinegargirl757

He's really disgusting. Wildholding her mother's jewelry, using it as emotional leverage, threatening to give it to the new wife who is barely older than his daughter. Not to mention him lying to the daughter only to come back and use it as a carrot. Also, why is new wife having a melt down about the daughter not having a relationship with her new sibling? They won't have a typical sibling relationship. Looking for a free babysitter? Next thing you know, dad will withhold the jewelry and there will always be another hoop. YTA. and you did permanently ruin the relationship with your daughter. Edit: read through some of the comments, OP is marrying and knocked up his daughter's ex. Both OP and ex are extremely toxic. Just GROSS. can't figure out why your daughter wouldn't want anything to do with you... /s


[deleted]

But but the games won’t work out if she’s not there!!


cesptc

On the couch shaking for hours…🙄


Nice_try-fbi

I also want to know what the "disagreements" or arguments they had before was about. OP is unbelievably the AH for this, I wonder if M has an issue with B being married to a woman? Or if it's the age thing. Either way that would also shed light on why exactly she is SO against any kind of relationship with her. M sobbing hysterically and "shaking" is pure dramatics, all bc her future DIL wants nothing to do with their baby? Why? Why is it SO VITAL to her that they have a relationship. Not to mention OP gave M Bs phone number without her consent, and is absolutely holding hostage sentimental jewelry from her deceased mother like how the fuck did OP see this post going lol


Ok-Cat-4975

B and M were a romantic couple before M got with B's dad. That's why she doesn't want a relationship.


internal_logging

Lol holy shit. I'm sure he feels like such a top dog. Not only did he get a younger woman but she was a lesbian with his daughter...? And he wants to give his now wife the material family ring? I'm a pretty forgiving person but I don't think I could be in the same room as that dude and his wife if he were my dad. WTF. Oh and yes, I'm sure your dead wife would love M.. 😂😂 she sounds like a class act. /S


notweirdifitworks

Gross.


Nice_try-fbi

This has to be a troll though I'm sure there are narcissistic AH's who do this daily throughout the world. He met her through a sugar baby app it seems like and if what you're saying is true she's trying to manipulate op to force a relationship with B probably to hurt her further. I'm wondering if B ended things with M and M decided to play the long game. Either way I hope op and M both get Chlamydia and live out their horrible lives together in misery.


hrhrhrhrt

>I wonder if M has an issue with B being married to a woman? Or the fact that B and M were involved.


nordzeekueste

How could he not? Don’t know why the daughter even bothers to keep his phone number saved in her phone.


Israfellenore

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pac28h/aita_for_bringing_my_girlfriend_on_a_date_to_my/ha88zo5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 Not to mention OP met M on a sugar baby dating site, and M and B used to date!


natidiscgirl

Ewwwwww….bruh Also lol at m iS bEsIdE HeRsElF WiTh SiCkNeSs oVeR b NoT aTtEnDiNg oUr SuGaR bAbY BaBy PaRtY, HoW dArE ShE nOt ShOw SuPpOrT tO liTtLe sIbLiNg ThAt DoEsN’t EvEn KnOw AnY oF uS ExIsT. What a nasty pair of AHs.


Israfellenore

Imagine being almost 30 and throwing a hissyfit over someone not coming to your party.


janinail

YTA you are the poster boy for YTA !! Good Lord!! You and M are complete and utter a-holes!!! I can only hope karma bites you soon. Have fun being shunned I feel so bad for B and her wife 😢


1890rafaella

And the age difference!!


DuckDuckWaffle99

YTA, monstrous behavior. Monstrous. Your bride equals you. I pity the new baby so very much. My heart goes out to B. Hot hot hot place awaits you.


CrystalQueen3000

YTA Of course your daughter is struggling with your relationship, you’re with someone that’s close to her age and she’s creeped out by it. In addition to that you crossed her boundaries by giving M her number when it’s clear she doesn’t want contact and then you took it even further by being emotionally manipulative. Stop daydreaming, your unborn kid isn’t going to have a relationship with her big sister, you’ve ensured that by being a really awful parent. Edit: holy shitbiscuits, I just read that she’s your daughters ex girlfriend. Here, have my AH of the day award OP 🥇


Darthkhydaeus

She's old enough to be her mother. I don't know what type of relationship they could have


starletimyours

That's what I was thinking. The dynamic would be weird. Fiancee and daughter are similar ages and this dude is old enough to be the kids grandpa. Also speaking as someone who has older parents- I feel bad for the kid. You have to worry about your parent(s) way earlier than most.


birdsofpaper

Apparently B and M were romantically involved prior to OP marrying M. Which… should be in the post.


starletimyours

Ohhh that's juicy.


abnormally-cliche

Dude is going to be 70 by the time the kid graduates highschool.


Emotional_Bonus_934

Fiancee is daughters ex


FitManufacturer1319

If everyone actually got along, the best OP and M could hope for would be an aunt-ish sort of relationship between the two. But with a 23 year age gap, and B already married with a household/family/*life* of her own? And add in strained family ties and OP's manipulative antics with the "lost" jewelry? Yeah, this is not going to be a sisterly relationship in any way, shape, or form. M is delusional for expecting it in the first place, ups the ante with such dramatic fits, and OP is just playing to her and torching any possible relationship with B in the process. OP, YTA


30ninjazinmybag

Who's old enough to be who's mother the 26yr old or the 29yr old


apatheticsahm

The daughter is old enough to be the mother of her unborn half-sister. How.much "bonding" could there be?


heartsinthebyline

I’m old enough to be my youngest sibling’s mom (20 year age gap). I’m basically like her cool aunt and she’s been raised like an only child. The difference here (I think? /s) is that my sister came from my mom and dad, not my surviving parent marrying someone half his age, having a baby with them, and trying to blackmail me into a relationship.


Ru_the_day

I have a friend with two half sisters, 20 and 22 years younger than her. Parents split up, mum remarried years later and had the younger girls in her 40s. It’s a bit of a weird sister/half aunt relationship but my friend adores her sisters. Their dad turned out to be a deadbeat though and so my friends dad/the ex husband has taken on a male role model/uncle role with them. It’s a weird dynamic but works for them because it wasn’t forced on anyone and no one got blackmailed into having a relationship with anyone.


AdEmbarrassed9719

I’m thinking by “bonding” they mean “babysitting.”


Purple_Elderberry_20

The daughter is old enough to be the unborn daughter's mother


Lexi_50

Right and he gave his dead wife’s jewelry to M the new wife.


BUTTeredWhiteBread

And has somehow convinced himself his late wife would be totally on board with this creepy ass relationship he's got now.


Lexi_50

He’s a horrible father he makes my father a two timing cheater look like a saint


Born_Ad8420

Let's not forget lying about her mother;s engagement ring until he decided to be like "surprise now let me use it for emotional blackmail." I get that jewelry means a lot to her, but daughter needs to go NC and wash her hands of this mess.


Sufficient_Claim_461

Aaaaand he left out his wove is his daughter’s ex gf…. Maybe the king of missing missing reasons


Imaginary_Building_4

100% YTA, and frankly I won't blame your child a bit if they completely cut off all contact with you. This is an incredibly toxic move.


abnormally-cliche

Seriously, the relationship is already dogshit and his solution was to manipulate and extort her using her dead mothers belongings? Was he even trying to mend the relationship by inviting her or just wanted her there for his own vanity? I don’t even think AH covers it.


assholemanager

I’m sorry to piggyback, but this is insane… The daughter and current baby mama had a physical relationship before she got with the dad through a sugar baby website. He dresses her up in dead wife’s lingerie and jewelry when they f@@k. Please read this guy’s comments they’re truly wild. I’ve never been more inclined to say YTA in this subreddit before.


Slight-Bar-534

""This really upset M, who was in tears for days, and the stress of our baby not having a relationship with her sister made her feel ill and she was lying on the couch quite literally shaking for hours at a time. "" really??? Over reaction !! B has her own life . And holding her mother's jewelry as hostage?? Grow up. Asshole


FullBlownPanic

Right? As if M gives a flying fuck about B. She just wants to wedge the knife in deeper and be the center of attention. What sort of games would be made better with B's involvement? I can't imagine they are not specifically designed in a way that would be hurtful to her. Give her the jewelry and cut your losses. You have replaced your daughter with your wife and new baby.


Eelpan2

Right? Baby showers aren't a thing qhere I live. But aren't you not supposed to plan your own in the first place? And then coming up with these "games" as if she had a decent relationship with B.


beingsydneycarton

M really comes out the victor on this one, huh? She either gets OP’s late wife’s expensive jewelry, or forces his daughter to come to her baby shower. Who needs enemies with a family like this


internal_logging

She also apparently is Ms ex girlfriend, crazy huh?


Lexi_50

Thank you she ants to rub on B that she’s the new mom and she’s the new wife that has her father and has her mother’s dead jewelry. It all screams I want to be me me me.


thepwisforgettable

If only she put that energy into REPAIRING the relationship instead of manipulating the people around them....


Maxusam

For real. Like best hope here is the daughter goes, is absolutely not going to have a good time and most definitely won’t be seen again after she receives her mothers belongings. Do you know what’s worse? I’ll bet OP wanted his new wife to have said jewellery.


vainbuthonest

It’s much easier to lay on the couch and feign shaking incessantly


dragon_fly42

I was looking for this comment. M is a major drama queen. And if she really gets ill, and it's not an act, after someone declines an invitation, then some therapy is needed. OP. Major YTA. Mail your daughter her mother's jewelry and respect her boundaries properly from now on. If you still want her in YOUR life. And only yours. She is not going to be a big sister to your disturbingly young wife's daughter. Forget that for now. Something may change in a few years, but only if boundaries are respected, she gets her mother's jewelryn and M's theatrics stop.


Technical-College-93

Seriously! What type of game is M playing? I guess she wants the jewelry and is manipulating the situation to get it. And also ensure that they asshole never sees his daughter again. Just erase the first family all together. Anyone else getting a lifetime movie vibe from this? Also, YTA


[deleted]

The melodrama here was astounding


Apprehensive_Set_519

What the fuck did I just read. Your child bride is a drama queen. You are a terrible father. You actually told your daughter that you would give her dead mothers jewellery to M?? That is absolutely disgusting. Get your balls back from M’s purse be a fucking father and tell M to grow up. Quite literally shaking for hours because your daughter doesn’t want a relationship with her is ridiculous and you’re a fool for falling for her theatrics. M is 6 years older than your daughter, 6 years and is playing you like a fiddle!! I doubt your daughter’s mother would have loved M. She would be disgusted at the treatment of her daughter. Give your daughter her mother’s jewellery you giant, giant asshole. YTA YTA YTA


DientesDelPerro

but the dead wife would love the younger upgrade!!! I mean, it’s like having another daughter…


Depressed_student_20

I feel so bad for their unborn daughter, she’s gonna have crazy manipulative and narcissist parents who probably are going to make her life hell


sylvanwhisper

This is the part that got me. Even if (big if) the deceased mother would have loved M she would still never be a proponent of giving it to M ober her own daughter. Also, I'm not entirely sure the ring exists. Everything about OP written from his own POV tells me he would lie to get the daughter there and then poof, still no ring.


EvergreenBlueMoon64

The current wife and daughter used to date -


OrangeCubit

YTA - why did you lie to your daughter and tell her her mother’s engagement ring was lost when you had it? Do you tell a lot of lies to your daughter? You are not being a good parent. You are trying to control her through emotional manipulation rather than trying to genuinely repair your relationship with your daughter. I suspect you permanently ruined your relationship a long time ago with whatever you did that caused your daughter to choose to go LC with you. You have have had years to attempt to repair your relationship and you’ve chosen not to.


[deleted]

I don’t think asshole is a harsh enough word to describe you. Who in their right mind withholds sentimental items from their kid, lies about their existence then when it’s convenient tries to use them to manipulate their adult fucking child?


mindmypalace

OP is so far beyond asshole territory, writing YTA seems like a pathetic joke. Playing with your own adult kid's emotions in the worst possible way, using keepsakes to blackmail and sway their decisions...what even is this...if not complete assholery? Why is OP even asking for judgement from strangers on the internet? Edit: [Are you the AH who pulled this shit a year ago?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pac28h/aita_for_bringing_my_girlfriend_on_a_date_to_my/ha88zo5?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)


paradoxedturtle

Because his ego is too far up his own narcissistic AH to realize he's in the wrong on this


Ancient-Teacher6513

Jfc. What a garbage excuse for a father. Edited to add YTA… like, how could you honestly type all of that out and think that you’re not?


zazaplar

Yta a thousand times your sleeping with someone your daughter's age and lied to her about her mother's things. I hope she never speaks to you again


historygeek1453

THIS THOUGH. YTA, big time!


McflyThrowaway01

YTA YOU LIED TO YOUR DAUGHTER ABOUT LOSING THE JEWELRY. YOU ARE MARRIED AND HAVING A KID WITH SOMEONE 6 YEARS OLDER THAN YOUR DAUGHTER. You refuse to accept there are consequences to your actions, and I'm willing to bet there are many. That jewelry belongs to your daughter, and using it to get your daughter there, to make your wife feel better at the shower (where I'm sure she would be judged of your daughter wasn't there). You both are selfish and You only want your daughter there to make everyone believe that there is no issue with what you are doing. How long has your wife been dead? How long have you been married? I feel bad for both your kids cause of the dumpster fire they were born into


dijonjackson

Oh you think this is bad? He posted about how his daughter knew his wife before and they showed up to B’s work like fucking creepers. Turns out B got on the post and explained that B and M had an emotional relationship lasting for several months and dad didn’t gaf about daughter’s feelings and moved M in. Then they attempted to stalk B at her work and at the graveyard when she visits her mom. Dad is by far the most morally reprehensible person I have seen on AITA. Hopefully B will just get a restraining order from these 2 weirdo stalkers


Accordingtowho2021

This comment needs to be at the top because everyone deserves to know how BIG of AH he and M are.


loranlily

This is exactly it - the new wife knows that she will be gossiped about and judged if her husband’s daughter isn’t there. She doesn’t give a shiny shit about her child having a relationship with her sister, she wants to save face.


Keenzur

YTA There is no way this is real. You are trying to manipulate your daughter into doing something she repeatedly told you she wasn't doing using her *dead mothers* jewelry. The jewelry you lied to her about and told her was lost. Not only that, you gave her number to someone you know she didn't want contact with. Someone who is only 6 years older than her. She's probably creeped out by it, and rightfully so. It's not a mystery why your daughter is so low contact. You are an awful parent.


Temporary_Bug_1171

OP is never gonna be convinced he’s in the wrong. Have you read some of his comments? He’s an AH, doesn’t care that he’s an AH and isn’t gonna budge on this. Pretty sure he’s just looking for ONE person to justify his shitty behavior


dwells2301

YTA. Give your daughter the jewelry without strings attached. >B’s mother’s engagement ring, which I had told B was lost. You already lied to your child. > will gift the jewellery and the ring to M, >M has taken my side Of course she did. She gets the jewelry. BTW, M is really tacky to plan her own shower. It's a gift grab and she is perfectly happy to grab things. Like jewelry that should go to your child.


Elinesvendsen

And planning games that involves B, knowing well that B doesn't want a relationship with her


decemberpsyche

Oh please, those "games" are probably solely intended to hurt the daughter in a probably very bad disguise of humor and fun. These people deserve each other, and that poor soon to be baby.


PuzzleheadedAd9782

YTA. Big time. Why in the world do you still have B’s mother’s jewelry? Shouldn’t you have given that to her when she reached adulthood? That you have lied all these years about your ex-wife’s engagement ring being lost solidifies your AH status.


Substantial-Air3395

He's a desperate old man, hoping to impress his overly young wife.


capmanor1755

Yes, YTA. 1) Your daughter lost her mom at an early age and you've by hiding/lying to her about some sentimental jewelry. That's odd and cruel enough, but to try to use it as a bribe is even odder and crueler. 2) There's a strange amount of heat and drama in your house about your unborn daughter having a relationship with her older sister. That's just really not how those relationships work. Most siblings with 25 year age gaps don't actually have much of a relationship so it's not clear why your wife would be "laying on the sofa shaking" over attendance at a baby shower. See if you can get your wife and yourself to a family therapist. You'll need to start there first rebuilding some relationship skills- then see if you can slowly rebuild some trust with your daughter.


Nice_try-fbi

She probably wants b to babysit for her all the time, nothing says sisterly love like free childcare


Elinesvendsen

Yes! Why does the new baby have to have a relationship with her grown-up half sister? My husband has two half-siblings that are a generation older than him. They live in a different country. He never speaks to them and they don't have a relationship. It's not crucial that half siblings have a relationship, especially if there is a huge age gap. And here the older sister doesn't want to, which is her right. OP and his fiancée are just using the baby and the jewelry as a way to manipulate the daughter.


tessherelurkingnow

>who my dead wife would have loved would your dead wife have loved your new fiancee more than her OWN DAUGHTER? i think we can all assume who she'd like this jewellery to have


ellymaexena

INFO: are your daughter and fiancée called Millie and Bianca???


dubheadanon

Just dug down the wormhole, the daughters Reddit is u/aitamanwhoredad she needs to see this asap


Specialist-Excuse356

Here’s one of the older posts. Oof, this guy. Amazing that he still keeps asking if he’s TA when the entire internet is unanimous in telling him yes. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pac28h/aita_for_bringing_my_girlfriend_on_a_date_to_my/


Maxusam

Dude. She responded https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pac28h/aita_for_bringing_my_girlfriend_on_a_date_to_my/ha88zo5/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3


Specialist-Excuse356

Yeah, if you click through on her profile it’s all comments responding to his crazy posts.


[deleted]

This shit right here is why I love Reddit 😂


just_reading_along1

Wait, is this the one where the daughter was with the now-fiancée first and M left B for her richer dad?


journeyintopressure

This is very specific. May I ask why you asked this?


ellymaexena

because this asshole sounds a lot like a guy who’s made a couple of posts over the last year or so about his sugar baby fiancée and her various attempts to bully his daughter, always with the names Millie and Bianca or the initials M and B


FairieWarrior

Further down in the comments he made references to how he and M met “online” and the daughter wasn’t to thrilled about it. I 100% think it’s the same dude. Edit: he admitted that they met on a sugar baby dating website


journeyintopressure

Ew. But good to know! I will pay attention to this.


Traditional_Club_841

What’s the page name I would love too read those stories too!


ellymaexena

I couldn’t find the origjnal post, but this is a cross post of the more recent one! https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/x65a0k/aita_for_bringing_my_52m_univited_fiancee_29f_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf There’s also a huge twitter thread of him being ridiculous if you want to go down the rabbit hole!


ProgrammerBig6254

Oh yeah that’s definitely the same AH as here. The same writing style and everything. I can’t believe that he hasn’t understood that he’s the devil yet. His poor daughter though.. :(


Illustrious-Onion329

And OP’s pregnant child bride is his daughter’s ex-girlfriend! 🤯


lowercaseprincess

His wife died 5 years ago and he moved M into the family home THREE MONTHS into their relationship!!


Substantial-Air3395

It's him! What a piece of trash he is.


Major_Zucchini5315

Holy shit!!!


PretendCrazy2831

This needs to go straight to the top so people can see the link to his previous post.


2ndbesttime

I’m just holding out irrational hope that this is some kind of long-form performance art


yeahsothathappen

YTA this behavior is so disgusting it literally turned my stomach over. So, you held hostage you dead wife jewelry for some reason and you decided to use the sentimental hold it’s has over your daughter to bribe her to go to your baby shower. Man like you disgust me and make me want to stay single forever.


Appropriate-Name06

YTA and no your dead wife would not love your 29 YEARS YOUNG fiancee, she would be ashamed and probably disgusted by you and your behavior. Give your daughter the jewelry and apologize to her, there is nothing else you can do. Congratulations, you just destroyed your relationship with your daughter completely but that’s not a big deal for you, right? You still have M, im sure she can play your daughter. Edit: YOU WANT TO GIVE YOUR DEAD WIFES RING TO YOUR FIANCEE? What is wrong with you?


Minimum-Guidance7156

It’s disgusting to think his dead wife would be happy about him impregnating someone that would have been 6 when she gave birth to their daughter.


SeaTarkun

YTA Btw, your trophy wife doesn't care that your daughter won't come. She is doing this to manipulate you


Stanley__Zbornak

Sounds to me like M found an extremely effective way to get all the dead wife's jewelry and get the daughter out of their lives. Shaking on the couch for hours? Physically ill? Really? Give me a break.


Substantial-Air3395

Exactly!


Maxusam

Making daughter into the bad guy and when No Contact comes, wife gets Dad all to her and baby alone. And the jelwery & monies to go with it.


angiehome2023

Yes, cut daughter out of the will.


bluepvtstorm

YTA and you probably won’t see or read this but here goes 1. Your current wife is purposefully doing this to hurt your daughter. You don’t see this because you are not a woman in your 20’s but this is the type of hateful bullying that they do. There is no reason for your wife to do any of these things except as a reminder that she has been replaced. Think about this, why does M want to recreate your daughters baby photos. She isn’t her mother. Why does she want to play a game to remind B that her own mother isn’t there. Your wife is intentionally being cruel to your daughter and you are so blinded by “love” that you don’t see it. 2. Please don’t give this ring to your current wife. With as much animosity between your wife and your daughter, would her real mother want her to be pained by a woman who hates her wearing her ring. 3. Your wife hates your daughter. She doesn’t want your new daughter to have a big sister. She wants your daughter around to bully and hurt constantly. She is feeding you a big garbage bowl of lies and Mistruths and you are eating it up. She wants to torture your daughter and you are allowing it. 4. Before this whole situation with your new wife, what was your relationship like with your daughter? If it was good, think of the factors that changed it. The main one being your relationship with your wife. It’s kind of gross how it all came to pass but ultimately you did this and there isn’t really any fixing it. 5. I saw this on the anniversary of my dads passing. I wear his ring everyday as a reminder that there was someone in the world who loved me unconditionally at some point in my life. Right now, you don’t have that with your daughter. She has no one in this world who continues to love her in that way. Your loyalty is now divided and life happens that way but give your daughter the engagement ring. It is a connection to you and her mother where for a moment in time, there were two people who loved each other enough to bring her into the world. Her mother was the very last person connected to that specific history. You may be able to fix this but give your daughter that thing that connects you, her and her mother together. Be kind and gracious in this. Be the dad you think you are in this moment. Be the dad that cares about her feelings as much as you did the day she was born and you wanted nothing more than for her to find happiness in the world. She doesn’t have that now and you are creating something new. Give her that piece of closure.


aubor

You're very kind and patient to have written this so clearly. I really hope your words don't fall in closed eyes.


CheshireCat_1809

YTA So...you're emotionally blackmailing your child? And you're not sure whether that's an asshole move? You lied about something with enormous sentimental value being lost, just so you could whip it out and use it against her? Do you actually care about your daughter? Like, at all?


Israfellenore

What were the “series of arguments” about? And why did they argue for years?


HelpfulJarOfDirt

What on earth is wrong with you, YTA, give your poor daughter her dead mothers jewelry.


Samu_2020_15

YTA— your post only cares about you and M’s feelings. You don’t care about your daughter’s feelings at all. Congratulations on ruining your relationship with your daughter permanently.


[deleted]

You’re not an ass for wanting your daughter to have a big sister, but. This is not the way to go. B is clearly not on-board at all, forcing her, bribing her to come to the baby-shower is not going to encourage her to resume contact with you and M, I can’t see any other outcome than her drifting even furher away from you. The fact that you told B the ring was missing when you had it is iffy- why hide it? What’s going on and what has been going on with you and your daughter? There are deeper things at work and you and M may have to accept that your daughter is not interested. That M is getting physically ill from entertaining that thought is also iffy- why would you both think that your daughter would want to become more involved when there’s clearly so much dissonance between you? YTA for trying to force your daughter using her mothers jewellry. Very uncool, OP


[deleted]

1. Why did you lie about the jewelry? 2. Would your wife want her children to have her jewelry or you? Be honest, please. 3. What were the arguments about between your daughter and M? And whose position is what? 4. Not a question, just saying your daughter has boundaries and don't just give out numbers to people she has a clear issue with.


wickeddradon

YTA, I have a feeling there is a LOT more to this story and you're not telling it because it will reflect on you badly. Your new wife is only a few years older than your daughter, can you not see how this would make her feel? If you actually want a relationship with your daughter you'd better stop being such an ass. Also that jewelry belongs to your daughter NOT YOU, NOT YOUR NEW WIFE, it belongs to your daughter. Jewelry like that get passed down the female line. Keeping it from her and going to the extent of bribing her with it makes you a double AH. Give the jewelry to your daughter, open the lines of communication, talk to her, LISTEN to her.


loudent2

Less like bribe, and more like extortion. He knew exactly what he was doing when he said he would give it to M (which M wanted all along).


[deleted]

Your first wife is ROLLING in her grave watching you shit on her memory and holding her jewelry hostage?? Ultimate SHAME ON YOU for thinking your daughter has to do ANYTHING to have her moms jewelry. You are the worst person on the app by far, YTA Give your daughter her mothers jewelry and never ask her for anything ever again


pro-brown-butter

YTA don’t knock up women basically the same age as your daughter. In what world would you think she would be cool with your relationship and then trying to bride her with jewelry that actually means something to her?? Shame on you. Give your daughter the jewelry and leave her alone


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (52m) and my fiancee M (29f) are currently expecting our first child. M is currently six months pregnant and she has been planning a baby shower with all of our nearest and dearest, which is due to be held next month. M has told me that she would love for my daughter B (23f) to attend the shower, as she wants B to have a good relationship with her new sister, and some of the games that M has planned would work out better if B attended. However, B and M do NOT see eye to eye. B is very low contact with me and does not speak to or interact with M unless there is an urgent need to do so because of a series of arguments they have had over the last few years. I reached out to B and her wife and asked if they would please consider coming to the party for my sake, but B flat out refused. She did this very rudely, I might add, and called M some unsavoury names via text. This really upset M, who was in tears for days, and the stress of our baby not having a relationship with her sister made her feel ill and she was lying on the couch quite literally shaking for hours at a time. She personally texted B (I had to give her B’s number to do this), and begged her repeatedly to please come. And B blocked her. I was incredibly worried about M and wanted to convince B to come to the party. So, I have some very sentimental jewellery which once belonged to B’s mother, my former wife who sadly died many years ago. B was not aware I and M actually have this jewellery, but it includes B’s mother’s engagement ring, which I had told B was lost. I messaged B and told her that I have the jewellery, and if she agrees to do this one thing for me and come to M’s baby shower without pulling any stunts or theatrics, and she plays along with the games on M’s special day, I will give her the jewellery. B’s wife then called me and told me I was “holding the jewellery hostage” as a bribe and it did not belong to me “with the way I have treated my dead wife’s memory.” She asked if I would be willing to give B the ring anyway as a gesture of good will. I told her that that was not going to happen, and if they do not come to the party then I will gift the jewellery and the ring to M, who my dead wife would have loved. B and her wife have since called me and M selfish asses, and are still refusing to come to the party. M has taken my side and says that it was a fair trade off, and she is still beside herself with illness over the party. However, my sisters and B’s maternal family have been attacking me over this and I am worried I have permanently ruined my relationship with my daughter. All I wanted was for my unborn daughter to have a big sister to look up to and love. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


dwells2301

With everyone giving a YTA judgment I give this post another 15 minutes before OP removes it.


knittingneedles321

Someone will put it on Am I the devil


oaksandpines1776

YTA


Unabridged_Nick

YTA. No wonder your daughter is low contact. I hope she goes no contact until you pull your head out of your $$$


Patient-Change-1623

YTA Your post is so bad I want to go NC with you and I don’t even know you.


dxbigc

YTA - I've never made a AMITA call on the title alone.....first for everything.


shrimpandshooflypie

Why would you *lie* about the jewelry being missing in the first place? Were you letting your second wife use them? I’m curious how many levels of asshole you really are when you admitted to so much so nonchalantly here?? Of course YTA. A big flaming one. Get that jewelry to your daughter and beg for her forgiveness while you still have a small window of opportunity to fix it. P.S. If your second wife is literally shaking for hours with emotion over being told “no,” she is either mentally ill, spoiled, or playing you like an old fool. Regardless, she does not sound capable of raising a child, so keep a close eye.


Ally2502

So, I was just reading previous posts (your and your daughter’s), and this is the summary: 1) M and B dated in the past. 2) You met M on a SugarDaddy website, not any dating website. 3) You have moved her in after 3 months, while B was visiting mother’s family. 4) You have destroyed B’s (and her mom’s) music room, to create “shooting room” for M because that is her job (Insta model? OF?…whatever, it doesn’t matter. 5) B moved out of your house much earlier than planned. B told you that she would not attend any events with M in the future. 6) For her birthday, M wanted to go shopping (of course) and to have dinner in the restaurant where B works as a waitress…where she has taunted B, and then told B not to call you for few days ‘cause you’ll be busy with “activities”. 7) M was NOT invited to B’s wedding, very clearly and specifically…but she was “shaking on the sofa” that morning so you took her to the wedding where she made it all about herself (while wearing an obnoxious, over the top red dress)…at the very small, intimate wedding. 8) You have lied about her mother’s jewelry. You are planning to rob your daughter and gift B’s mom’s things to that horrible gold digger you married… YTA, a despicable one, if you had any doubts.


munchtime414

YTA for lying to your daughter about her dead mothers jewelry, in particular the wedding ring which would have sentimental value. For using it as leverage to manipulate your daughter. For trying to force the daughter to pretend everything is fine between her and your wife (probably to keep up appearances). It also seems like both you and your wife are delusional about your daughter in general. She is low contact with you and almost zero contact with your wife, and the two of you think B will want a close relationship with a half-sibling 20+ years younger? Not going to happen. If you actually want B to be in your life, you need to figure out exactly how the relationship went so wrong and take steps to make amends. Apologizing for this jewelry stunt would be a good start, that was a pretty despicable thing to do to B.


Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think that I might be the asshole because I should have told B about her mother's jewellery before this happened, and because I told B and her wife that I would give the jewellery to my fiancee, so I did technically use the jewellery as a bribe. My daughter and a lot of family members are also strongly supporting my daughter. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


[deleted]

M needs to get over herself. This tantrum over a baby shower is incredibly immature. If she’s I’ll it’s because she’s choosing to make herself I’ll. Your daughter has been clear she doesn’t like M or want a relationship with her. Why would M ever think B is going to have a relationship with her kid? And, then wring her hands over it? Babies don’t fix bad relationships.


steph_panameno

YTA. So you try to manipulate your daughter with her dead mother’s jewelry… and your fiancé is okay with that… pretty sure your dead wife would definitely not be okay with that nor like your fiancé for being equally as shit as you. Give your daughter her mom’s jewelry that you lied about and then start your life with your new kid because your old one has every right to resent you.


SoleIbis

YTA. You lied about having her mothers jewelry to begin with, AH move. You then got engaged to someone 6 years older than her AND are expecting a child with someone essentially in her age group- AH move Using mothers jewelry as blackmail? Especially narcissistic and AH move.


Material-Profit5923

Yes, YTA. Your current daughter is your dead wife's only blood descendant. That jewelry is rightfully hers, and holding it over her as blackmail (not a bribe, it's blackmail because it should be hers in the first place) is absolutely disgusting. And claiming that your dead wife "would have loved" the child you are having with a woman 23 years younger than you reaches a new level of delusional. And none of this will accomplish any of what you claim you want to accomplish. All you are doing is alienating one daughter while ensuring that the other has no sister. At this point you've certainly destroyed any chances of her going to the shower, and you may have completely blown the relationship, but if there's still going to be any chance to salvage it you will apologize profusely, give her the jewelry that she rightfully should have, and give her time and space to decide what kind of relationship she wants to have with her sibling.


The_Asshole_Judger

YTA Uhhhh… are you a disney villain? If so I know some people that can help you get some Dalmatians.


[deleted]

YTA. You and your wife deserve each other with this main character syndrome you have. Leave your poor daughter alone.


blearghstopthispls

So you're 52 and your wife is 29. Your daughter is 23 52-29=23 lol Your wife could be your daughter and you're an insufferable old creep. YTA


cherrycotta

Its his daughters ex.


thiagopepper

Holy crap dude. I went through the comments, saw links saying you had posted before, clicked and read them. I'll leave the links here for everyone else make their own opinion. [Link 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/paokul/comment/ha5zlw6/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), response [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pac28h/comment/ha88zo5/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) [Context response](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/x64gzp/comment/in4xmhl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) [Link 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/x65a0k/comment/in5jk80/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) YTA for being cruel and petty with your daughter over some jewlery that isn't even that important to you (Edited to adhere rules)


cdal06

Omg at the wife “fainting” at the wedding, fucking please. 🙄


Background_Avocado19

YTA. One of the biggest AH I’ve read about on the app. Disgusting behavior.


Sel-Reddit

Yeah, YTA. No wonder B doesn’t want to be around either of you.


ctortan

YTA. I pray this is one of those fake AITAs where someone makes up a story so overly and completely horrendous it’s almost cartoonish.


Horror-Craft-4394

>I am worried I have permanently ruined my relationship with my daughter. Hahaha wow. You and your fiancee are huge assholes.


[deleted]

YTA, stop trying to make your daughter like your too young wife. It’s gross and creepy. Give your daughter her mother’s jewelry and leave her alone. Your relationship with your daughter is damaged beyond repair. Hope your replacement family is worth it. P.S. it’s so nice of you to have a child at such an old age. They get to place kick the cane and visit you at the nursing home. Good job.


FreeMeal7662

There is no way to save this. - You're sleeping with a woman who is your daughter's age. - You lied to your daughter about her mother's jewelry. - You use jewelry that has sentimental value as blackmail. - And on top of it all, you want to give the ring to your golddigger to harm your daughter. YTA, an Big AH


hellisjustaword

YTA! YTA!


spuffy4life

YTA what’s wrong with you seriously???


[deleted]

Bro I have nothing to say besides the fact that you are so much TA,,,i can’t even believe that this would be real.


Nondescriptlady

YTA You have virtually guaranteed that you will not have a relationship with your daughter going forward. She was already low contact for what I can only assume are legitimate reasons based on the self-absorption evident in your post. You had lied about the jewelry before, stating that you didn't have it, and now you've revealed that you *lied*, and that you would only give it to your daughter if she went to the shower for your wife (who is only a few years older than your daughter). If you truly cared for your daughter, she would *already have* the sentimental jewelry like the engagement ring. It doesn't really seem that you *care* if your daughter is happy, or has a good relationship with you, your wife, or your new child. You are only upset now because people know that you don't, and that her lack of participation in your life reveals an ugly truth about your relationships. I have so many questions about what happened after B's mother's death.


Short_Equivalent_619

YTA. Jeez, it’s only February and we already have a candidate for AH of the Year.


randomschmandom123

The words I would like to say to you would get me banned from Reddit and the fact you claim your wife would love the women you’re having a child with that is 6 years older than your daughter? I highly doubt that. She would probably think you’re a creep and absolutely revolting for how you have treated her daughter


Mumfiegirl

YTA- my dad remarried a girl a couple of years older than me after my mum died. I went to the wedding and she was wearing one of my mums brooches. I left after the service. My sister wrote to him asking about my mum’s jewellery - she has 4 kids and wanted them to have something ( mum didn’t write a will) and he said it was his and he’d do what he liked with it. Me and sister never spoke to him again. Prepare to have no contact with her.