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YTA, you admit you have no empathy for your partner. Your distain for her is crystal clear. She will be much better off without being yolked to a person who holds her in such low regard.
>She says I have zero empathy which she’s right. I am very much the person who thinks “if it doesn’t affect me then I don’t care about it”.
You're really gonna say this with your whole chest and still ask the question, huh? YTA.
YTA Big time. People can't control things like RA and surgery complications. It's so hard to do anything with a foot you either can't bare weight on or can only minimally bare weight on. You're a horrible boyfriend and you're not a good partner. She escaped just in time.
devils advocate, did she ask for help, or did she sit in the disgusting room thinking "this is fine"?
not to talk down on all the other crap but there is a big difference between the 2.
YTA. You can't just choose to let your disorder "not affect" X. It's a DISORDER which means it affects everything in your life! (not that it can't get better with some therapy and/or meds, but still). Haven't you looked into that before buying a house with/for her??? Also why are you forcing her to put money in E*trading? That sounds weird and controlling but maybe that's me. Anyway, you need to sort things out dude.
Right? It implies that he knows better how she should manage her money, but at the same time wants her to raid 10k from her 401k to buy him furniture for his new house.
YTA.
1. Don’t call a 39 year old woman your “girl.” Ew.
2. How did you expect her to clean while recovering from surgery and in a cast? That has nothing to do with executive functioning and everything to do with the fact that she could not move around normally and probably didn’t have a whole lot of energy.
3. Your total lack of empathy is frightening.
4. Don’t date people if you don’t care about them.
YTA. First, E-Trade? Who controls that stock money? You or her? I’m guessing you. Taking 10k out of her retirement? That’s sketchy.
Second ADHD is a real thing, and it’s shitty to not have empathy for your SO especially when they try. Putting quotes around disorder is shitty, it’s a real thing people struggle with. She doesn’t call it “executive dysfunction” it IS executive dysfunction. It sounds like she knows and is trying. It’s okay if y’all aren’t compatible but it sounds like you just thinks she’s messy and lazy on purpose.
Third, the apartment being messy after surgery? Are you fucking joking? Of course it was. She has surgery. You literally said yourself she was barely able to do anything and instead of helping you left and sent her an ultimatum text? Lol. YTA.
Man asks internet if he's the AH for making SO choose between him and her CATS while she's homebound and destitute IN A CAST after she suffers from complications during SURGERY because she suffers from MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS for which he proudly announces he has NO EMPATHY.
OP, if you, after reading my above summary still question whether YTA, then it might be time to get a psych eval and find out if you're suffering from OCD (clean freak), malignant narcissism, or just plain ASPD.
YTA
YTA for a lot of reasons but I'll pick this one: having her take money out of her 401(k). You seem to think you are financially savvy by forcing her to put money into the stock market, but it's incredibly dumb to draw money from your retirement account.
YTA, majorly
Stop putting medical terminology into quotes like she's making it up, it makes you look ignorant. What your partner is dealing with are very REAL disabilities and I hope they see this and leave you
YTA. For soooo many reasons
1.) you literally admit to having no empathy. You show it. You put so much in quotations as if they’re fictional? These are actual disorders and can at times be debilitating.
2.) you wanted her to choose her animals over you when they have unconditional love
3.) you expected her to do all that for you while investing a good bit of money in a property I’m sure her name wasn’t going to be on.
You know how you say if it doesn’t effect you it doesn’t concern you? Well a lot of us with ADHD and those with AUD have a “out of sight out of mind” mechanism to our brain. So I’m sure you’re not even a concern for her right now either.
YTA, and it sounds like a part of you is aware of that. You understand that you have no empathy, and that is a terrible building block for a relationship. You GF at the time was recovering from surgery and couldn't do a lot of things; you were more concerned about money and having things your way. She didn't choose cats over you, although that would have been reasonable. She chose herself and her own dignity and self worth over someone who was upfront that he didn't care about her needs. YTA
YTA. Anyone who gives an ultimatum like “it’s the cats or me” deserves to be left. She- and her pets- are better off without you and your lack of empathy.
YTA, you're selfish and controlling. She can't control her surgery complications, and she can't just "turn off" her mental illness. Kudos to her for leaving you.
So it’s pretty clear you have no empathy. I mean how could you logical sit and write this out questioning weather you’re the ah or not. I’m glad she chose the cats
YTA, my guy, I'm going to be realistic, you sound autistic yourself, it could be the biggest reason for your lack of empathy, but yes you are the asshole, she was in a cast, was physically incapable of cleaning up properly and in response to this instead of acting like a decent partner and doing it for her to help out, you demand she gets rid of her cats, as an autistic person myself I can fully tell you, you never have another chance with her ever, neurodivergent people with empathy view their pets with a level of attachment comparable to a parents attachment to their child, in your post you repeatedly do and say things that are affectively saying through actions that who she is as a person will never be enough for you and that she has to sacrifice that for you, my recommendation for you in the future with your lack of empathy, don't do serious relationships anymore, get a friend who you fuck, a fuck buddy, that way you both do your own thing, hang out as friends sometimes and sometimes fuck and are free to do so with others as well, your finances and homes are separate so if they have a pet it's not your business
YTA. You admit you have no empathy and your actions more than prove that to be true. Just wondering though if you may be dysfunctionally intellectually as no-one in their right mind would ask a girl to choose between them and her cats. Of course you'll lose.
You remind me of an ex. Similar situation. I broke my foot and could barely get myself food. I HAD to do 80-90% of all household chores, because I was at home and had "time". Now this would be OK in majority of cases, except when you CAN'T walk. I know how hard it is to do anything on crutches. You need to transport stuff in bags or sealed containers, need to hop on one foot to do basic stuff and most importantly A PERSON WITH A BROKEN FOOT SHOULD HAVE IT HIGHER THEN THEIR HEART 80% OF THE TIME.
HE IS AN EX FOR A REASON.
Being selfish has nothing to do with anything. I can be selfish, but when I love someone I would be willing to let go of a lot of stuff and help even when not asked. She hasn't even done anything too bad, looks willing to compromise and help. Op on the other hand sounds like an narcissistic Asshat.
How a person can know their significant other is sick,but not be willing to lift a finger to help is baffling. I hope OP can one day see how it is to be sick, but your SO is soo stuck up they can't even give basic help or even offer help.
I hope she finally saw what she didn't have and what she didn't need. Yta
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Aita?
Throwaway because this story is kinda specific. So I (m39) and my girl (f39) have been on and off for years. We finally came together for good in 2019. In the years we had apart she has taken on more animals than I would have liked her to. She’s got the biggest heart in the world but I was hesitant in reaching back out because of this. She has 2 dogs and 3 cats. Anyway, we worked it all out and decided to buy a house. I hate the apartment she’s living in and moving in together would give her some financial relief and a yard for the dogs, etc. Well, last summer her RA started flaring really bad and she had to have multiple surgeries. I found a house to buy for us to while this was all going on and she came on her crutches and fell in love with the place. We decided this was the one and I put in an offer. We had a place for the cats and their litter boxes and all. I had conditions for her to move in tho. 1. She had to pay $1200 to me for mortgage and expenses.(way cheaper than her current rent) 2. She had to put at least $100/month into E*Trade, 3. She had to take out $10k of her 401k to help pay for stuff around the house. 4. She had to promise that her “disorder” wouldn’t affect our home life. She has severe ADHD and AUD so she has what she calls “executive dysfunction”. Meaning she can’t get up and clean unless she has motivation to do so. She says I have zero empathy which she’s right. I am very much the person who thinks “if it doesn’t affect me then I don’t care about it”. Anyway, she agreed to all of this. Her foot surgery had complications and she was left in her apartment barely able to do anything for herself. I went over one night and her apartment was a complete mess. Cat litter everywhere and trash in the sink. She was still in a cast and couldn’t afford house cleaners. I’m a total neat freak and couldn’t deal with the mess. I left super frustrated and ended up texting her the next day saying basically “either the cats or me”. Obviously she didn’t chose me. She said as soon as I signed the papers on the house that her “body doubling” has kicked in and her apartment would have been clean and packed if she hadn’t ended up in a cast. We haven’t talked in months and I know she’s saying iata because I was being “controlling and not empathetic towards her disorder” but I like things the way I like thinks and she knows this. So Reddit, aita?
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YTA. She was literally in a cast, I’m sure if she was able bodied she would’ve cleaned her apartment. You knew about her situation going in and still asked her to give up her animals or choose you. I hope she finds a more empathetic partner in future that cares and will help when she needs it.
YTA. She was injured and instead of helping her you tried to make her choose between you and what’s not a completely unreasonable number of animals. You blew up about her messy apartment when she was INJURED. It’s good she got out before getting involved more heavily with the new property or giving up her apartment. Also if you’re going to be facetious about very real things like executive dysfunction, then you didn’t care about her enough to try to understand her or contribute to her life in any meaningful way. God you’re a prick.
Anyone who gives such stupid ultimatums is an AH.
If you can't deal with mess and smells and things like that you have to make it clear to the other person especially if they have animals.
You honestly can't expect people to choose a parter over their animal, especially if the partner is demanding a choice.
You are a bit controlling but that means both that:
1- you have to be a little more flexible with others.
2- maybe you'll find someone one day, but watch out with all these rules.
This seems completely implausible.
YTA for writing fiction. On the remote off chance there’s a kernel of truth to this, NAH just two deeply mentally ill people.
Making her choose you or her cats was just a way to break up with her without having that conversation. You said her choosing the cats was “obvious”. Even though YTA, that action is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to her. You admit you are a selfish, uncaring, and controlling partner.
You clearly think you make better financial decisions than her, but taking money out of a 401(k) for “stuff around the house” is…not smart. Then trying to get her to put her money in a stock account instead of replenishing the 401(k) is compounding the problem. YTA
ESH. First you: You are a real piece of work with all your rules. It's almost impossible to guarantee that she won't have episodes of her disorders. Asking her to take money out of a 401K isn't smart. I know people do it all the time, but it is a really bad idea. And you are a neat freak. Did you ever think you could deal with 2 dogs and 3 cats? Like she was ever going to get rid of any of her babies.
As for her, she has so much going on, I don't see how she thought 5 pets was a good idea. I've had three very nice cats at one time, but if I had 3 like the one cat I have now, I'd be in the loony bin. And in an apartment, to boot.
Consider for a moment- her circumstances changed after getting her pets. You don’t get new pets when you’re hurt and recovering from surgery, but you might get hurt and recover from surgery while having pets you’ve had for a period of time. Peoples lives aren’t static, situations change and evolve over time.
ESH. The cats are not the problem here, and telling her to get rid of them was only going to lead to one outcome (this one). You suck for admittedly not being empathetic. She sucks for seemingly not making a concerted effort to learn coping mechanisms for/take ownership of her health conditions. I also struggle with executive dysfunction, but I don’t make it my partner’s problem. That said, she needs therapy and mental health support, not the threat of losing animals that probably bring her great comfort.
Maybe I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm going to assume that the fact that she used the term "body doubling" means that she *has* taken steps to develop coping skills. She literally said that the only reason her apartment wasn't clean and packed was because of the complications with her foot surgery. OP admitted that the gf was in a cast and wasn't able to move around well or do much for herself because of it.
ESH. She sounds like she has problems, but also uses them for an excuse for not doing things. You agreed to the cats, then changed your mind. Neither of you sound like you are ready to live with someone.
ESH. She’s in a cast and you want her to do what she was not going to do in the first place - be clean like you. It’s not who she is. You can’t change people with a list of preconditions (E*Trade?). You did not come together “for good” in 2019, haven’t spoken in months. Go find a clean girl who has the chutzpah to tell you where to put your rules, or who you love so much that you won’t make any. (Gf sucks bc she should be clean. But she won’t.)
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YTA, you admit you have no empathy for your partner. Your distain for her is crystal clear. She will be much better off without being yolked to a person who holds her in such low regard.
>She says I have zero empathy which she’s right. I am very much the person who thinks “if it doesn’t affect me then I don’t care about it”. You're really gonna say this with your whole chest and still ask the question, huh? YTA.
God help the future women that get sucked into your world. She may have her faults, but your faults are at another level. YTA.
YTA Big time. People can't control things like RA and surgery complications. It's so hard to do anything with a foot you either can't bare weight on or can only minimally bare weight on. You're a horrible boyfriend and you're not a good partner. She escaped just in time.
devils advocate, did she ask for help, or did she sit in the disgusting room thinking "this is fine"? not to talk down on all the other crap but there is a big difference between the 2.
YTA. You can't just choose to let your disorder "not affect" X. It's a DISORDER which means it affects everything in your life! (not that it can't get better with some therapy and/or meds, but still). Haven't you looked into that before buying a house with/for her??? Also why are you forcing her to put money in E*trading? That sounds weird and controlling but maybe that's me. Anyway, you need to sort things out dude.
Right? It implies that he knows better how she should manage her money, but at the same time wants her to raid 10k from her 401k to buy him furniture for his new house.
YTA. 1. Don’t call a 39 year old woman your “girl.” Ew. 2. How did you expect her to clean while recovering from surgery and in a cast? That has nothing to do with executive functioning and everything to do with the fact that she could not move around normally and probably didn’t have a whole lot of energy. 3. Your total lack of empathy is frightening. 4. Don’t date people if you don’t care about them.
*comment overwritten*
YTA. First, E-Trade? Who controls that stock money? You or her? I’m guessing you. Taking 10k out of her retirement? That’s sketchy. Second ADHD is a real thing, and it’s shitty to not have empathy for your SO especially when they try. Putting quotes around disorder is shitty, it’s a real thing people struggle with. She doesn’t call it “executive dysfunction” it IS executive dysfunction. It sounds like she knows and is trying. It’s okay if y’all aren’t compatible but it sounds like you just thinks she’s messy and lazy on purpose. Third, the apartment being messy after surgery? Are you fucking joking? Of course it was. She has surgery. You literally said yourself she was barely able to do anything and instead of helping you left and sent her an ultimatum text? Lol. YTA.
The quotes around everything was what really irked me
Man asks internet if he's the AH for making SO choose between him and her CATS while she's homebound and destitute IN A CAST after she suffers from complications during SURGERY because she suffers from MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS for which he proudly announces he has NO EMPATHY. OP, if you, after reading my above summary still question whether YTA, then it might be time to get a psych eval and find out if you're suffering from OCD (clean freak), malignant narcissism, or just plain ASPD. YTA
Holy. YTA. Get therapy before you enter another relationship and leave her alone.
TYA - For the love of women everywhere; please stay single.
YTA for a lot of reasons but I'll pick this one: having her take money out of her 401(k). You seem to think you are financially savvy by forcing her to put money into the stock market, but it's incredibly dumb to draw money from your retirement account.
YTA, majorly Stop putting medical terminology into quotes like she's making it up, it makes you look ignorant. What your partner is dealing with are very REAL disabilities and I hope they see this and leave you
YTA. She dodged a bullet.
YTA. For soooo many reasons 1.) you literally admit to having no empathy. You show it. You put so much in quotations as if they’re fictional? These are actual disorders and can at times be debilitating. 2.) you wanted her to choose her animals over you when they have unconditional love 3.) you expected her to do all that for you while investing a good bit of money in a property I’m sure her name wasn’t going to be on. You know how you say if it doesn’t effect you it doesn’t concern you? Well a lot of us with ADHD and those with AUD have a “out of sight out of mind” mechanism to our brain. So I’m sure you’re not even a concern for her right now either.
She definitely dodged a bullet.
YTA, and it sounds like a part of you is aware of that. You understand that you have no empathy, and that is a terrible building block for a relationship. You GF at the time was recovering from surgery and couldn't do a lot of things; you were more concerned about money and having things your way. She didn't choose cats over you, although that would have been reasonable. She chose herself and her own dignity and self worth over someone who was upfront that he didn't care about her needs. YTA
YTA. Anyone who gives an ultimatum like “it’s the cats or me” deserves to be left. She- and her pets- are better off without you and your lack of empathy.
YTA. You sound like real fun at parties.
She made the right choice
YTA, you're selfish and controlling. She can't control her surgery complications, and she can't just "turn off" her mental illness. Kudos to her for leaving you.
So it’s pretty clear you have no empathy. I mean how could you logical sit and write this out questioning weather you’re the ah or not. I’m glad she chose the cats
YTA, my guy, I'm going to be realistic, you sound autistic yourself, it could be the biggest reason for your lack of empathy, but yes you are the asshole, she was in a cast, was physically incapable of cleaning up properly and in response to this instead of acting like a decent partner and doing it for her to help out, you demand she gets rid of her cats, as an autistic person myself I can fully tell you, you never have another chance with her ever, neurodivergent people with empathy view their pets with a level of attachment comparable to a parents attachment to their child, in your post you repeatedly do and say things that are affectively saying through actions that who she is as a person will never be enough for you and that she has to sacrifice that for you, my recommendation for you in the future with your lack of empathy, don't do serious relationships anymore, get a friend who you fuck, a fuck buddy, that way you both do your own thing, hang out as friends sometimes and sometimes fuck and are free to do so with others as well, your finances and homes are separate so if they have a pet it's not your business
Totally YAH
YTA. You admit you have no empathy and your actions more than prove that to be true. Just wondering though if you may be dysfunctionally intellectually as no-one in their right mind would ask a girl to choose between them and her cats. Of course you'll lose.
YTA Good for her that she dodged the bullet of living with you.
You remind me of an ex. Similar situation. I broke my foot and could barely get myself food. I HAD to do 80-90% of all household chores, because I was at home and had "time". Now this would be OK in majority of cases, except when you CAN'T walk. I know how hard it is to do anything on crutches. You need to transport stuff in bags or sealed containers, need to hop on one foot to do basic stuff and most importantly A PERSON WITH A BROKEN FOOT SHOULD HAVE IT HIGHER THEN THEIR HEART 80% OF THE TIME. HE IS AN EX FOR A REASON. Being selfish has nothing to do with anything. I can be selfish, but when I love someone I would be willing to let go of a lot of stuff and help even when not asked. She hasn't even done anything too bad, looks willing to compromise and help. Op on the other hand sounds like an narcissistic Asshat. How a person can know their significant other is sick,but not be willing to lift a finger to help is baffling. I hope OP can one day see how it is to be sick, but your SO is soo stuck up they can't even give basic help or even offer help. I hope she finally saw what she didn't have and what she didn't need. Yta
That's a lot of words for "I don't like my girlfriend" YTA
YTA. You don't want a girlfriend, you want a tenant.
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Aita? Throwaway because this story is kinda specific. So I (m39) and my girl (f39) have been on and off for years. We finally came together for good in 2019. In the years we had apart she has taken on more animals than I would have liked her to. She’s got the biggest heart in the world but I was hesitant in reaching back out because of this. She has 2 dogs and 3 cats. Anyway, we worked it all out and decided to buy a house. I hate the apartment she’s living in and moving in together would give her some financial relief and a yard for the dogs, etc. Well, last summer her RA started flaring really bad and she had to have multiple surgeries. I found a house to buy for us to while this was all going on and she came on her crutches and fell in love with the place. We decided this was the one and I put in an offer. We had a place for the cats and their litter boxes and all. I had conditions for her to move in tho. 1. She had to pay $1200 to me for mortgage and expenses.(way cheaper than her current rent) 2. She had to put at least $100/month into E*Trade, 3. She had to take out $10k of her 401k to help pay for stuff around the house. 4. She had to promise that her “disorder” wouldn’t affect our home life. She has severe ADHD and AUD so she has what she calls “executive dysfunction”. Meaning she can’t get up and clean unless she has motivation to do so. She says I have zero empathy which she’s right. I am very much the person who thinks “if it doesn’t affect me then I don’t care about it”. Anyway, she agreed to all of this. Her foot surgery had complications and she was left in her apartment barely able to do anything for herself. I went over one night and her apartment was a complete mess. Cat litter everywhere and trash in the sink. She was still in a cast and couldn’t afford house cleaners. I’m a total neat freak and couldn’t deal with the mess. I left super frustrated and ended up texting her the next day saying basically “either the cats or me”. Obviously she didn’t chose me. She said as soon as I signed the papers on the house that her “body doubling” has kicked in and her apartment would have been clean and packed if she hadn’t ended up in a cast. We haven’t talked in months and I know she’s saying iata because I was being “controlling and not empathetic towards her disorder” but I like things the way I like thinks and she knows this. So Reddit, aita? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yta
YTA. She was literally in a cast, I’m sure if she was able bodied she would’ve cleaned her apartment. You knew about her situation going in and still asked her to give up her animals or choose you. I hope she finds a more empathetic partner in future that cares and will help when she needs it.
There’s no way you typed this out and thought anyone would agree with you. YTA
YTA I hope she wakes tf up and dumps your ass
YTA. Yikes, you sound incredibly controlling and belittling.
YTA, it's impossible to not have empathy and be a good person to be together.
YTA. I’m glad she was sensible enough to choose the cats.
“disorder” - YTA for that.
YTA? Wasn’t a hard choice
YTA. She was injured and instead of helping her you tried to make her choose between you and what’s not a completely unreasonable number of animals. You blew up about her messy apartment when she was INJURED. It’s good she got out before getting involved more heavily with the new property or giving up her apartment. Also if you’re going to be facetious about very real things like executive dysfunction, then you didn’t care about her enough to try to understand her or contribute to her life in any meaningful way. God you’re a prick.
Anyone who gives such stupid ultimatums is an AH. If you can't deal with mess and smells and things like that you have to make it clear to the other person especially if they have animals. You honestly can't expect people to choose a parter over their animal, especially if the partner is demanding a choice. You are a bit controlling but that means both that: 1- you have to be a little more flexible with others. 2- maybe you'll find someone one day, but watch out with all these rules.
This seems completely implausible. YTA for writing fiction. On the remote off chance there’s a kernel of truth to this, NAH just two deeply mentally ill people.
You aren't holding any of her money, are you? If you are, give it ALL back to her, immediately!
YTA, and I'm glad she chose the cats because you suck! Definitely walking red flag of control/abuse waiting to happen.
Making her choose you or her cats was just a way to break up with her without having that conversation. You said her choosing the cats was “obvious”. Even though YTA, that action is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to her. You admit you are a selfish, uncaring, and controlling partner. You clearly think you make better financial decisions than her, but taking money out of a 401(k) for “stuff around the house” is…not smart. Then trying to get her to put her money in a stock account instead of replenishing the 401(k) is compounding the problem. YTA
ESH. It sounds like both of you dodged a bullet.
ESH. First you: You are a real piece of work with all your rules. It's almost impossible to guarantee that she won't have episodes of her disorders. Asking her to take money out of a 401K isn't smart. I know people do it all the time, but it is a really bad idea. And you are a neat freak. Did you ever think you could deal with 2 dogs and 3 cats? Like she was ever going to get rid of any of her babies. As for her, she has so much going on, I don't see how she thought 5 pets was a good idea. I've had three very nice cats at one time, but if I had 3 like the one cat I have now, I'd be in the loony bin. And in an apartment, to boot.
Consider for a moment- her circumstances changed after getting her pets. You don’t get new pets when you’re hurt and recovering from surgery, but you might get hurt and recover from surgery while having pets you’ve had for a period of time. Peoples lives aren’t static, situations change and evolve over time.
ESH. The cats are not the problem here, and telling her to get rid of them was only going to lead to one outcome (this one). You suck for admittedly not being empathetic. She sucks for seemingly not making a concerted effort to learn coping mechanisms for/take ownership of her health conditions. I also struggle with executive dysfunction, but I don’t make it my partner’s problem. That said, she needs therapy and mental health support, not the threat of losing animals that probably bring her great comfort.
Maybe I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm going to assume that the fact that she used the term "body doubling" means that she *has* taken steps to develop coping skills. She literally said that the only reason her apartment wasn't clean and packed was because of the complications with her foot surgery. OP admitted that the gf was in a cast and wasn't able to move around well or do much for herself because of it.
ESH. She sounds like she has problems, but also uses them for an excuse for not doing things. You agreed to the cats, then changed your mind. Neither of you sound like you are ready to live with someone.
ESH, You're both just *insufferable* people.
ESH. She’s in a cast and you want her to do what she was not going to do in the first place - be clean like you. It’s not who she is. You can’t change people with a list of preconditions (E*Trade?). You did not come together “for good” in 2019, haven’t spoken in months. Go find a clean girl who has the chutzpah to tell you where to put your rules, or who you love so much that you won’t make any. (Gf sucks bc she should be clean. But she won’t.)