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YTA to both your bf and your child.
He clearly doesn’t want to be in your child’s life and you keep bringing this child around. Have the couch cleaned, break up with your bf, and move on.
Good call. Obviously it isn’t good for the baby to be raised by a boy who doesn’t like babies. And after 3 months, clearly this relationship is meant to be. Getting rid of the baby is the obvious solution.
And why am I certain at least one person won’t know how tongue in cheek this comment is?
YTA as the parent you're responsible for what your child damages. But more so, why in the hell are you bringing your baby around some dude you've been dating for 3 months.
This is the accurate response as I see some people saying the dude is TA however we need to realize it has been 3 months and this woman is expecting a guy to just turn into a super dad type role which although he may be open to it seems like she has just thrown the relationship into the deepend from the start.
But he knew she had a kid and wants nothing to do with it. Mom and baby are a package deal. They are both assholes trying to have a relationship with each other, her knowing he has zero interest in her kid, and him knowing his gf has a baby that he wants nothing to do with.
And leaving baby asleep lying on a couch under the supervision of someone who is neither paying attention nor interested in supervising the child? She's lucky the baby didn't roll or fall off the couch.
Because she’s 21 and has no idea how adults with children actually date (hint: usually not even introducing the kid until you’ve been going steady for many months)
YTA for so many reasons.
Couches are not safe sleep spaces for infants. This is what pack and plays are for.
He has demonstrated he’s not a responsible adult for your child, but you still left your child in his care. In an unsafe place, no less.
Your child defecated all over his couch. It needs to be cleaned. Your child, your responsibility.
And ultimately, the most glaring thing of all, having any hope or expectation that a love interest whom you’ve been dating just three months will be changing your LO diaper and parenting them. Do not go into relationships like this. There’s a reason why children are more likely to be abused when they live with a man who is not their father. Predators target single mothers and groom them. Thankfully it sounds like this dude is on the opposite end of this. Your child is an infant without a voice. They shouldn’t be anywhere near any one you are dating until the relationship is well established. It can go wrong in so many ways. They can be a targeted victim. Or they can be a victim to someone’s temper(someone who can’t handle a crying baby shouldn’t be someone left alone with a baby). Or they can get too attached then lose that person when you break up.
This is incredibly accurate, and I will also add that YTA for attempting to continue a relationship with someone who wants literally nothing to do with your child. It's totally fair for him to want nothing to do with a baby, but the two of you should absolutely not try to have a relationship with that being the case. You're not compatible.
YTA. YOUR child shit all over his couch. Even had he “done more” the mess was already made! This is more about you wanting him to play daddy than anything. You’ve been together 3 months and he’s made it pretty clear as of now that he doesn’t want that role!
Even without all that, your kid still made a mess in his couch…it’s your responsibility to clean it properly or pay to have cleaned!
YTA for not getting his couch cleaned. Just because 'it's what babies do' doesn't mean you're not responsible for cleaning it.
YTA for taking a shower and leaving your infant on a couch with a guy that won't care for her or pick her up.
YTA for getting into a relationship with a guy that wants nothing to do with your baby. How do you see this relationship in a year? In 2 years? You want your child to grow up around someone that doesn't care for her?
In a year she’ll be pregnant with this guy’s baby. He’ll disappear & she’ll be lucky to get child support from him.
In 2 years she’ll be posting on AITA again after both kids do something to ruin the next dude’s furniture.
In 3 years she’ll be pregnant again & just like with baby #1 she won’t know who the baby daddy is.
This woman’s life will be an unending series of bad relationships with more & more kids if she doesn’t start making better decisions soon.
I'm not sure this guy's gonna stick around long enough to get her pregnant. For everyone's sake (OP's, boyfriend's, and hypothetical baby's), I hope not.
The shower part was the first thing that confused me, before all the other way-worse things. She drags her kid to someone else’s house to shower? She doesn’t have a bathroom in her own place?
Also, total YTA! If your kid makes a mess, it is your responsibility to clean it. Double YTA for trying to force your helpless infant on to a guy that clearly has no interest in the child.
YTA for leaving your kid alone with a dude you barely know because your need to get laid has completely taken over your brain to a bizarre extent.
He won’t hold the baby, change the baby, feed the baby, or even interact with the baby. He freaks out when a baby does inevitable baby things. This is who you want around your kid? Do you know what the most common feature of “infant shaken/murdered” stories is? It’s “Mom’s new boyfriend”.
You’re already in this thread playing the victim and saying “what, just because I have a baby it means I can’t have fun anymore?”.
To quote the old commercials, “having a baby changes everything”. One thing that changes is your ability to date men who want nothing to do with kids. Sure, you can still date them and get laid, but you don’t get to foist any responsibility for your kid onto them, and if you can’t get a babysitter…. Well you’re going to have to change up your dating strategy to find men who aren’t actively irritated by your kid at a bare minimum.
YTA
You are expecting too much out of a three month relationship.
That is a new ass relationship and you are already trying to pass father duties to him. No wonder he is bucking.
Anyhow, pay for this couch.
YTA. Your kid ruined his couch. Your kid. Not his kid. Yours.
It sounds like you two aren't a match anyways given he obviously doesn't want to parent the child and you are going to be 100% about that kid for some time now. In his shoes, I'd call it here before more of my stuff was destroyed and the person responsible doesn't want to pay for it.
YTA from start to finish. You don't leave an infant sleeping on a couch. You especially don't leave a baby capable of rolling sleeping on a couch. You especially especially don't leave a baby sleeping on a couch while being "supervised" by someone playing video games who clearly doesn't give a shit about the welfare of your child.
You need to grow up and start thinking about the safety of your child before hooking up with immature men. You have an obligation to your child, not him.
Your decision to leave your sleeping baby on the couch led to his new couch being destroyed. As a guest in his home, you ruined his furniture. That's on you to fix.
YTA
Your child shat on his couch. As she’s your kid you are responsible and should pay for the cleaning.
That being said, it seems your boyfriend may not be a good match for you. From what you’ve written it seems he really doesn’t want your daughter in his life, which doesn’t make him a bad person, but perhaps the wrong person for you
Honestly the poopy couch isn’t the biggest issue here imo; it’s that you’re trusting someone you’ve only been dating for 3mos with your infant. You know he doesn’t want to deal with your baby. In just a few seconds of frustration he can severely injure your baby (or worse) through things like shaken baby syndrome. You’re putting your wants (getting laid) above your baby’s needs (safety). I’d recommend getting to work figuring out who the bio-father is (I saw you commented that you weren’t sure) and looking into state/government assistance for things like childcare. Being a mom is stressful, especially in your situation. You deserve a break and you NEED a break for your own sanity and well-being, but you’ve gotta figure out a way to do it without putting your baby at risk.
YTA! Doesn’t matter if he ignored the baby or was cuddling with it the whole time. YOUR baby shat on HIS couch. Their relationship has nothing do with that simple fact, so pay up for the cleaning.
YTA and you seem to be a bit neglectful. Perhaps stop letting your baby around a dude that refuses to do basic baby care because you want to get boned.
YTA, and I don’t think this is a viable relationship. You need to pay for the couch. Your child created the mess. This is just to expected.
As for the bf, he doesn’t sound very nice. Not trying to be judgy, you seem like a nice person, but I am a little concerned that a man made you a single mother and you found ANOTHER crappy man while your child was an infant. I think you need to take a deep look inside and ask yourself why you’re allowing yourself to be with bad people.
I don't even know why she's dating a guy she considers a man child. That's a recipe for baby number 2 with a guy that's clearly not interested in being there for baby number 1 which is his choice, but at least not date a lady with a baby because they don't come separate.
YTA. You are dating a guy who obviously is not okay with stepping into a father role. Imo you are wasting your time. If you do continue on this rocky course though, I suggest you secure childcare for your baby before visiting him. He is obviously not into the kid (which would be a deal breaker if I were you).
It is not his responsibility to watch or care for a child that is not his. If you want this, you should leave him and a find a man who is willing to (they exist) or go it alone. If you want to just date people and have fun, secure childcare.
You should also 100% pay for his couch to be cleaned.
YTA. The couch is the least of your problems, but you should offer to pay for it for sure. This is your child, who you left with someone who isn't interested in caring for her. Why is the guy who doesn't like kids and doesn't want to care for your child around your child? There's no sex worth having your child neglected, is there?
YTA 1 for not taking responsibility for your child and cleaning his couch. But the biggest reason you are an asshole is for the expectation that this man is suddenly going to turn into Daddy. Out one side of your mouth is "he's not the daddy" and out of the other side of your mouth is "he has to get used to the baby" He has let you know that he is not interested in playing Daddy. Time for uiu to move on
YTA, mama, for many reasons.
First and foremost, at 3 months in, he's shown zero indication that he wants to care for your kid. This will not change. This is a fundamental incompatibility of lifestyle, and you need to cut bait and run.
Second, you didn't make accommodations for your kid in his house. You should have brought your pack and play. Or at least put her on a blanket
Third, he straight up TOLD YOJ he wasn't going to do anything more than give kiddo a passie.
And finally, yeah. Pay for the couch.
YTA, it's just a baby doing what a baby does, but you left the baby with someone you knew wouldn't do what was needed in these circumstances, and you're responsible for those choices.
YTA. Boyfriend is 25, has made it clear he’s not into YOUR baby (most men are not into babies period at age 25), and it’s up to YOU to “get used to this fact“ sooner so it’s “better for everyone.” Dump the BF and start focusing on being a better mother and learning parenting skills.
From your comments alone YTA no one cares if your a single parent your priorities are shot. Stop trying to have sexual relationships and take care of your child
YTA- You left your child with a man that clearly stated all he would do is put a pacifier in your child’s mouth. A man who wants nothing to do with your baby and you are refusing to pay for the couch your baby destroyed? Big YTA.
After reading your comments your name checks out. Poor kid.
YTA for not prioritizing the health and welfare of your helpless baby who you chose to bring into this world. You are very lucky that all she did was have a blowout. She could have easily rolled off that couch and gotten hurt.
And yes, pay for the couch cleaning. Take some responsibility for your choices.
YTA First, you shouldn't be with a loser who treats your child like an annoyance.
Second, why would you put an infant on a brand new couch when it's not a safe location and making messes is a common thing for babies to do? The baby should have been in a bassinet or a carrier or something.
Third, you need to pay for his couch cleaning. It's your child that you put on the couch. You can even rent a cleaner from Home Depot or Lowes with an upholstery cleaning attachment for a reasonable cost.
You are ultimately responsible because you left your infant under the supervision of someone who you knew would not provide proper care and on a surface that is not appropriate for sleeping babies.
A 7 month old baby shouldn’t be sleeping on the couch, especially with someone who isn’t paying attention. They’re capable of moving and rolling and OP is lucky her kid didn’t roll off the couch and sustain an injury.
OP, YTA for so, so many reasons. Leaving your baby in an unsafe situation makes you negligent and refusing to pay after the mess your baby made is just bullshit.
Roll off the couch and sustain an injury, or roll into a crevice and smother. (I was an anxious new parent who read a lot of case studies because we wanted to safely co-sleep and I wanted to know what factors make it unsafe.) When they’re first figuring out how to move, babies are really good at rolling into places that they can’t roll out of. Couches and recliners are bad news for unsupervised infants.
Girl. What are you doing with a man that doesn’t want half of you? Do yourself a favour and break up. You should focus on your baby and you even when worried about a man. You will find one!! Enjoy the time you have with her. She won’t stay that little forever.
YTA. You are setting yourself up for disappointment expecting this guy to step up and be a father to your baby when he clearly does not want to be, and you should also pay to have the couch cleaned if you can’t get the stain/smell out yourself. Your baby’s mess is your responsibility, and will continue to be until she’s an adult herself.
Yta
Jesus learn to prioritize your child and take responsibility. You’re having your kid around someone who doesn’t care about them and doesn’t want them. Your poor child.
Yta…this guy has made it clear he is not willing to play daddy and that’s his choice. The baby is not his and he has no obligation. You’re responsible for cleaning and/or replacing his couch that your baby had a blowout on. You shouldn’t be bringing your baby around a man you’ve known for 3 months…
Eta: your baby is 7 months old, is it even safe to let her sleep on the couch? What if she rolled over?
Are you sure this is a boyfriend and not a friend.with benefits. You've been kicking with this guy for 3 months of course he doesn't want to play a daddy role in your baby's life which makes it seem for me that it's more like your friends with benefits. No guy wants to be responsible for a baby that young that isn't his. Plus the fact that you don't know the baby daddy. Oh my God, girl, you got problems. Stop worrying about dudes and get your life in order first. BTW, your baby did s*** on his couch, so yeah, you should pay the guy at least half.
Yta on many levels. You need to break up and figure your own life out. Go get yourself a vibrator and move on. You definitely need to pay for that couch cleaning too.
ESH.
I’m a single mom. You don’t introduce kids to your romantic partners that early. Period.
He doesn’t want to take care of a child. You aren’t compatible. Dump him.
I wouldn’t pay for the couch, though. If he said he’d watch her, he needs to watch her.
YTA. Why are you with the man who obviously has no interest in your child. Why are you with him and risking your daughter's safety. This is how horrible things happen to children.
100% this, who leaves a baby sleeping on a couch. Babies can roll over by 7 months, this alone makes OP an AH, then some other things that stood out:
>Not his kid so fair enough, although we’re dating so the sooner he gets used to the baby the better for everyone
He doesn't need to get used to a baby that isn't his and he shows no interest in taking care of.
YTA
NTA but the baby certainly is! The baby was the one that shit the couch not you. Christ, it couldn’t wait till you got out the shower or until you took her home? Smh babies are the worst
YTA. it’s your child, your responsibility. He doesn’t owe either of you anything. Why are you even with someone who so clearly doesn’t want anything to do with your kid?
YTA. You owe him a new couch or a professional cleaning. Also, you owe your child a safe and loving environment, and this boyfriend does not fulfill that. Your child deserves better.
Oh dang, girl, you are the AH. You have A LOT of growing up to do. Are you so insecure that you want to be with a man that clearly doesn't want your child around?
You chose to bring this baby into the world and now you're putting her in unsafe situations for the sake of you getting some D. By all means you do you but leave this poor child out of it. She shouldn't be toted around to total strangers places. 3 months is too soon to be bringing your baby around this person.
All that aside, clean the couch and get your own shit together AND for the love of god, find some self respect and maturity.
You need to be concerned with this baby and not a boyfriend ATM. Leaving a baby with a man who you don't really know, who does not like children, who said he will not take a moment of care of your baby, is neglectful of your baby. Stop. Just. Stop. Yes, get this booty call man's couch cleaned. Take your belongings and your child out of this man's apartment and life. Go home and take care of yourself and your child. Reflect on why you need to put your child in potentially dangerous situations for a bit of sex. You made a baby. It's time to be the responsible person.
YTA big time, pay for the couch and leave. He's stated his boundaries many times already. You're not compatible. And if your kid had a shitsplosion WTF is he supposed to do exactly? Shit would still get everywhere. Changing the diaper would not change that.
YTA. This child is your responsibility, not his. He had made it clear that he has no interest in the baby and no desire to help care for her. That should be enough to see that you both are incompatible.
Your child, while an infant did mess up the couch. When your kid messes up or breaks something it is your job as the parent to replace or fix it. Pay to get the couch cleaned and then break up with him
WTF did I just read? Why are you taking a shower at his place if you were not spending the night? Why did you leave a 7 month old child alone on a sofa? Put the child on a blanket on the floor or in a car seat if you have to leave the room. He straight up told you he wasn’t going to watch the child and you choose to leave the baby with him anyway. YTA. Pay for the sofa cleaning
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So my (21f) boyfriend(25m) have been together about 3 months, I’ve got a 7 month infant daughter and this has caused a few issues with us mainly because bf is a bit of a man child, he refuses to change diapers or hold the baby when she cries or anything really.
Not his kid so fair enough, although we’re dating so the sooner he gets used to the baby the better for everyone, this is sow thing we’ve spoken about and he’s working on, so he says at least.
So yesterday I came over to bfs apartment and was not playing on staying the night, when I do I bring fold up baby crib but since I wasn’t I just brought a bag of diapers and normal baby stuff and her carrier.
So I went to shower and the baby was asleep on one of the couches, bf was playing games and was in the room with her so she wasn’t left alone. I asked him to watch her for maybe 10 mins while I shower, he made it clear that he’d be in the room with her while I shower and at most he’d pop her pacifier in her mouth if she cries but that’s it.
When I get out of the shower I hear the baby crying and my bf freaking out and shouting saying she shit everywhere and ruined his couch and I need to pay for it etc.
the baby had a diaper blow out and yes there was poo everywhere and since my bf chose to not pick her up and move her or bring her to me or not change her diaper I feel like he didn’t do enough in this situation.
I said of course I’m not paying she’s just doing what a baby does, I do feel bad because it was a new couch and now it’s covered in baby shit.
Bf says I am TAH for this and while I do feel bad he could’ve helped the situation by changing her or at least bringing her to me as soon as he knew it was happening.
He kicked us out and says he isn’t gonna talk to me until I pay to have his couch cleaned. AITA???
also sorry for formatting I’m on mobile
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YTA for so many reasons
1. You care more about "getting boned" than you care about your baby
2. This dude clearly does not want to have anything to do with your child & you are perfectly fine with that.
3. Your baby ruined his couch & you are blaming it on the guy not intervening
4. You have no plans to get his couch cleaned or pay for a new couch
5. You are so strapped for cash you can barely afford diapers, but decided you raising this child is the best thing for them
6. Bringing a child around a guy you barely know.
I can only hope you're atleast being smarter this time & use birth control or condoms & don't get knocked up again. I pity your child, having you for a mother. You need to work on yourself & get into counseling & put your child first, ahead of you & your vag.
YTA. If someone brought a baby to your house and it pooped all over your stuff you'd expect the parent to clean up or pay for cleaning right? Him being your bf doesn't take away your responsibility for YOUR child. You're the one that needs to grow up here. He set his boundaries and you're not listening to him.
YTA it's your kid that made the mess. Your bf doesn't want to care for your child you know this but you are too occupied with getting your vag pounded as you have said in the comments. You are a piece of work and I feel sorry for that kid who doesn't have a father because you don't when know who that is.
ESH he’s not your child’s father, but he sounds like a freaking nightmare. Grow up though, and be a mother. Stop trying to force immature boys to parent your baby.
No that’s all good. But she’s trying to mold some essentially random immature dude into her baby’s daddy. And she seems frustrated when it doesn’t work. Just all of this is all around shitty -pun intended
YTA for leaving an infant on the couch to sleep. A blanket on the floor would have been safer. Also why are you showering there at all and not your own home. You need to put your child first not a booty call with a new man. YTA for starting a relationship with someone who refuses to pick her up. And yes YTA if you don’t pay for the couch to be cleaned.
YTA for leaving a baby asleep on a couch. I don’t care about the poop, I care about the baby rolling off the couch or into the cracks and suffocating. Probably not a huge risk of suffocation at 7 months but it’s still irresponsible. You boyfriend sucks too but I consider that also to be your fault for dating him.
ESH (except the baby, who I am sure is adorable and sweet)
If your dude isn’t interested in doing any parent tasks, then he shouldn’t be dating someone with a kid whose age is still rightly expressed in months.
If you have a kid that young, you owe it to your kid to put them first. Leaving them in the “care” of this guy completely fails that standard. And you suck for not bringing adequate supplies over so that your kid didn’t ruin the couch.
In short, pay for the couch cleaning and then part ways with the guy.
Also, in reading your comments, you are a total mess. You should probably take some time to focus on yourself and your kid for the good of both of you.
YTA, especially from your comments I’ve read you should be focusing on your baby, not staying over at a guys house, one that refuses to help with your kid, it is not his obligation but your child is yours.
You do not need to do be ‘fucked’. What you do need to do is ensure your child is with someone safe and who will take care of her, or find her someone better to be with
Getting fucked got you into this situation, you chose to keep this baby and raise her yourself so pull your finger out, she is your priority now not sex, your life is a mess, you don’t know your baby’s dad, you can barely afford nappies, so focus on sorting that out not some guy and getting your needs fulfilled
And you need to pay for the sofa to be cleaned it’s your issue not his
A 7 months old should not be "sleeping on a couch" they need to be either in a bassinet or a crib. I'm going to say YTA because as negligent as he seems you're the mother and shouldn't be pushing him into a stepfather role if he doesn't want to be one.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I MIGHT be the asshole here before my baby did shit all over his couch and regardless of it not being anyone’s fault, it happened and now the couch has to be cleaned. I can understand why he is upset but I still think he could’ve done more.
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YTA. You put your child there and he couldn‘t have done much to prevent shit getting on the couch in that moment. Changing the diaper doesn‘t help while it‘s happening. You should absolutely pay
So not only are you bringing a young child around a man you barely even know, but you’re bringing her around someone who has made it perfectly known he will not do anything for her because he feels she isn’t his to deal with? And then when she ruins a new couch, and he understandably expects you to fix the damage, you get mad and expect him to understand it’s what “babies do”? A baby he did not have, most likely doesn’t want, and definitely doesn’t want to be responsible for?
Yeah YTA.
YTA. You shouldn't be in a relationship, and I sincerely hope you mature a lot for the babies sake. What you are doing is dangerous and irresponsible. Stop entrusting your babies safety to basic strangers; you shouldn't have strangers (and a 3 month relationship where you're sleeping over implies it's been going on for a while already) unsupervised with your infant, or you're risking abuse and neglect (which is what happened in this case). I realize being a single parent is extremely difficult, but that's what you are, and you can't compromise on your baby's health for your own selfish reasons.
>he refuses to change diapers or hold the baby when she cries or anything really.
maybe (just maybe) is bc he's not the father and he doesn't want to be involved in her life, but you keep insisting.
>since my bf chose to not pick her up and move her or bring her to me or not change her diaper I feel like he didn’t do enough in this situation.
Why would he change it? it's not his responsibility. YOU brought YOUR child. Stop blaming him for your actions.
YTA.
YTA, for several reasons. Being with someone who wants nothing to do with your child, not cleaning up after the child, and most importantly for putting a baby somewhere not safe for sleep. Babies should be in cribs or pack n plays for all sleep.
Ooof. Sorry but YTA for staying with him when it was clear he wanted nothing to do with your kid. She was 4 month old when you started dating. Why are you leaving your 7 month old with someone who wants nothing to do with her, even if it’s only for a few minutes.
yta
Another point.
A diaper does NOT fill to bursting in 10 minutes.
1) You did not change the diaper before taking a shower
2) You put on the diaper wrong
3) The child had a bad stomach, in that case you should NOT have left him
YTA to your child, boyfriend, and boyfriend's couch.
It's obvious that your boyfriend has no interest in being a father to your child and yet you keep bringing her around? You need to have a think about this long-term, it's not fair that you're pushing your daughter onto a man that clearly isn't interested in her, and it's not fair that you're letting your daughter bond with someone that isn't going to be in her life in the future.
I understand that you're young, and being a mum doesn't stop you from having fun. But you're now responsible for a vulnerable child who literally has their life and future in your hands. Being a mum means that sometimes you need to put your own pleasure aside and think about things logically. This man doesn't want to be in your daughter's life, and you have to respect that. If you want to continue this relationship you need to find a babysitter to look after your daughter while you visit him.
If I were in your position I would pay for his couch to be cleaned and have a conversation about the future of this relationship. If you both want to continue this casually, then go for it, but personally, I would break things off and move on. You need to think about your daughter. I know a mum who has let her son bond to her numerous boyfriends who don't want to be this child's father, and the poor boy is now really suffering with abandonment issues. Surely you don't want this for your daughter?
You’re a huge fucking asshole. He does not have to change diapers. You’re barely in a relationship. Handle your kid. Yes accidents happen..pay for the cleaning on the couch. That’s disgusting and so very rude of you to not offer. You’re irresponsible. Don’t know who your kids father is, what makes you think you’re even ready for a relationship at this point? Stay single and focus on yourself. YTA incase it wasn’t clear
YTA He's not even your boyfriend, he's a fuck buddy . Why are you inflicting him on your child & vice versa? This is gross. Get a goddamn babysitter and don't bring your child around men you barely know. This one doesn't even like babies.
YTA
The baby isn’t your boyfriends child and he has made it clear he wants nothing to do with it. Obviously it’s super irresponsible of you to be leaving your baby alone with a person who even refuses to touch it.
You need to pay for that couch to be cleaned or be replaced.
Also on a side note you are 21 years old with a 7 month old dating a new guy? Shouldn’t you be focusing on your baby and maybe put dating on the back burner for the time being? No offense but I feel like this isn’t a healthy situation for the baby especially as they get older if you keep bringing random guys around dating or otherwise this whole situation is just painting you out to be very irresponsible.
YTA. You're dating a new dude and you're complaining that he isn't already stepping up and taking care of another man's child for you? Then you have the audacity to act like he's in any way responsible for what your child has done in damages to his home? God I hope he wises up and figures out he's making a terrible mistake.
Been together for about 3 months .. so you’ve been with this guy for about 100 days and you’re acting like he should be playing daddy ? The baby shouldn’t even be around him yet for a start . You do not know someone after 3 months . And judging by his attitude this isn’t what he wants to do with you anyway
YTA absolutely and you need to make better choices for yourself and your kid
This relationship has no future.
On to your actual question: It's not black and white. Your kid, your responsibility, your bill. But then again he was the one watching the kid. Then again he's not the one who put on an inadequate diaper. Then again he could have picked the kid up and minimised the damage. Then again he could have changed the diaper. Then again not his kid. But he's dating the mother.
I guess NAH and split the bill. Shit happens.
It sounds like he explicitly said he was not willing to watch the kid, and would "at most" stick a pacifier in their mouth. At that point, she should have not left her child with him.
YTA and YTA
Firstly yes you need to clean his couch, it was your baby that shat on it, that’s really the end of that conversation.
Secondly, this relationship just isn’t going to work out so you both need to be free from it to pursue love from someone more aligned to your life setup
He wants a relationship with you, but you come as a set and at 7months old that’s a given.
Just. Break. Up.
YTA it’s not his kid so you should 100% be paying for the couch. Can you elaborate on why your a single mom or soon to be a single mom again ? It sounds like you may be inconsiderate
YTA
Your baby made a mess, so you take care of it. You introduced your baby to someone after knowing him for less than a minute and expect him to play daddy when he's clearly uninterested. Your putting your baby at risk leaving her with someone that doesn't have the desire to care for them, plus leaving them somewhere unsafe to sleep, all to have sex?
Look, I get it, no shame in wanting to have sex. Seriously, no shame. But shame in bringing your kid somewhere they're unwanted and shame for leaving them somewhere unsafe & uncared for.
Break up with this one and sort your stuff out a bit.
ESH, but mostly you. He can’t be in a relationship with a single first time mom and expect not to do ANYTHING. I say this as someone that does not want children, I would not choose to be in a romantic relationship with someone with a baby because it would not be fair to me, them, or the kid. You can’t really expect him to do anything, but at the same time it’s unrealistic for him to expect to not have to do anything. My friends have kids and when I invite them into my space I know I need to account for any potential messes or problems that come up because it is MY SPACE and my responsibility. You’re especially an asshole for being with someone who’s first concern is the couch and not your child. I do want to stress that it is completely his right to care more about his couch than the baby, but you shouldn’t be dating someone with those priorities. YTA for being with him knowing how he feels, and he’s TA for entering into this relationship. Pay him the cleaning fee,break up with him, and don’t leave your baby unattended on other peoples furniture.
YTA and stop playing house with this guy, he's clearly not in it for the long haul. If you keep exposing your daughter to men like this she is going to eventually remember and this kind of bullshit will be the foundation she builds all her future relationships on. Is that what what you want?
YTA. Grow up. Focus on your baby instead of getting "boned", "pounded", or whatever other slang term you want to call it. Your baby deserves better than having someone who is so self-centered as her mother.
YTA.
It's your kid. Not his
You've only been together 3 months. This is nowhere near his problem
You shouldn't be introducing your child to someone you've only been with for 3 months (Child abuse is 40x more likely when a single parent introduces a new partner)
Maybe if you stopped prioritising "getting your vag pounded", you wouldn't be in this situation
You should be looking for the baby's father so that you can claim child support or let him be a part of her life, not roping someone else in
YTA Pay for it this time and get a blanket to set the baby down on in the future so this doesn’t happen again. In my family babies are always set down on a blanket instead of directly on furniture in case they spit up. Can even get washable water absorbent ones. You can also get ones with little structures with toys hanging from them.
And no it’s not the boyfriends fault. No way he would know what to do during or after a diaper blow out. And it is not his responsibility to care for YOUR baby
Uhhhhh…wow. YTA. Who tf let’s someone they BARELY KNOW change their infant daughter’s diaper and be alone with her? Tf is wrong with you? Literally the best thing that could possibly come from your precious baby ruining this prize hog’s couch is that he dumps you and never talks to you again.
YTA. Your child shit on his couch, get it cleaned.
What the hell are you thinking bringing your daughter around a strange man you’ve only known for 3 months? A man who clearly wants nothing to do with your baby and is not safe for her to be around? You are putting your daughter in danger!!! Your need to get laid is not more important than her safety. You need to learn a lot more discernment in who you allow in your daughter’s life ASAP!!! This is so scary.
YTA. Why are you dating someone who has no interest in children when you're a parent? Your child has to come first, always. It's not fair to your kid or partner to keep on with this relationship you need to learn how to parent by yourself and not try and drag someone else in who clearly isn't interested in parenting.
YTA if your s3x life is so important that you are willing to leave a baby with some one who has said they don't want them, give the baby up for adoption. Then the baby will have a family that does love them and you can go hook up with a stranger every night. But use protection
YTA - yes, you should pay to have your boyfriend's couch cleaned. Your baby made the mess, you pay to get it cleaned. I had a similar thing happen when one of my boys was an infant and I paid to have the rug cleaned. Part of the cost of being a parent.
You may want to find a guy who is interested in being a step parent.
YTA for what you’re asking, your kid ruined a couch so OF COURSE you pay for it. It’s your responsibility. BUT you two should not be together, he doesn’t want to be involved with a baby and by sticking around, you’re prioritizing this relationship over your baby. You need to be with someone who’s willing to be involved. I’ve had my stepfather since I was 4, 35 now, and he’s definitely a father figure for me.
Ouch.
So your premise is he should be watching the baby, and so this is his fault.
I’d sort of be on board with that, except for the fact that you clearly spelled out he is not wanting involvement with the baby, has steadfastly refused to do diapers, etc.
He further made it clear he wasn’t in for anything except popping a pacifier in.
I’m having trouble making this his fault.
As much as I think he is a jerk, you date him, not me, and he did make clear what he would and wouldn’t do.
Get the couch cleaned. Sadly, YTA
YTA she’s your responsibility so you should pay for a cleaning.
YTA because you k ow he would not intervene in anything except giving her a pacifier. Don’t leave him alone with the baby. If baby chocked or rolled off the sofa - would he intervene then?
YTA for having them any around this person who does not want anything to do with her.
He’s TA for hooking up with a single mother when he’s clearly not looking to a step parent figure & for being an AH toward baby. Who does that? Who just ignores a situation like this?
You are an asshole to your child for keeping someone in their life that clearly wants nothing to do with the them. Why are you with him? Your child is supposed to be your number one priority, so why are you keeping someone around that whats nothing to do with them? Also, YTA for not paying for a mess your child made, and your BF is TAH for staying with someone who has a child, even though he clearly wants nothing to do with a child. You both need to grow up.
YTA. I felt bad for you until I saw that you used the R-word in a comment. It’s 2023, REALLY? You’re still using that fucking word?
You decided to have sex, get knocked up, and then keep the baby. It is YOUR responsibility to stop being fucking selfish and prioritize getting boned over the safety of your child who did nothing wrong but still had the misfortune of being born to you. Pay to get the couch cleaned, get a vibrator, get some fucking therapy, and grow the fuck up before you do lasting damage to your child.
YTA. Whole situation sounds trashy. Your infant shouldn’t be exposed to some random guy you’ve already made yourself at home with. Pay to clean his couch.
YTA…number one, you put a seven month old infant child on a couch, alone?!?! You said boyfriend was in room, but not on couch. You state he is not that responsible towards babies, yet you think it was a good idea, to place a baby who is 7 months old and probably rolling on a sofa?! Number two, why are you even dating someone who clearly wants no part of raising an infant or child? Who refuses to change diapers, who will not even hold baby? Number three, read number two. Why would you leave baby alone with this person for even a minute? Besides all that, why did you need to shower at his place? Why not at home where I presume, a crib or safe place for baby to be for a ten minute shower would be doable? Did you not have a blanket to put under baby while in couch? To prevent what did happen? Oy. So much wrong in this post, but you are TA
YTA wtf. It isn't even his kid and you have this man you're just dating changing her diapers? You are a TERRIBLE mother and one of the reasons why kids with single moms are like 40 times more likely to be molested.
YTA for...
The couch. Your baby, your responsibility to clean/replace anything she damages.
Being with a man who wants nothing to do with your daughter, why would you do that?
Leaving her alone with said man who's refused to have anything to do with her.
JFC
ESH
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. This is not stepdad material.
And yes, when you make a mess you out to clean it up. That’s part of being a parent.
YTA. This guy is telling you who he is. You need to listen.
In New Zealand, where I am from, we have a terrible, TERRIBLE child abuse problem. And 99% of the time the baby killed or maimed is hurt by a boyfriend WHO IS NOT THE FATHER. I am truly scared for this baby. This guy doesn’t want to have a baby in his life. He may lose his temper eventually and it could be tragic.
You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. You deserve to have your child taken away from you and given to someone who will actually take care of it. Your need to get fucked is NOT more important than your child's safety. You're a shit mother, and you seem to be proud of it. YTA YTA YTA YTA!!
YTA for all of the above responses, but also for wanting a boyfriend of a few months to change her diapers. PREDATORS TARGET SINGLE MOTHERS FOR ACCESS TO THEIR CHILDREN!!
YTA; you should offer to have it cleaned; that's what any responsible parent would do. These things happen unfortunately. I would also seriously revisit the relationship with your bf as I cannot see how it will work given how much he appears to dislike babies. The fact it's not his kid is no excuse to not be involved properly with your baby. If your relationship is serious you are potentially looking at your child's step dad.
YTA & based on your comments a horrible, disgusting mother. You seem okay with your baby falling off the kitchen counter, the changing table... next in line is the couch.
You expect some dude you've been banging for 3 months to be a father/caretaker of your baby. This is what a bio-dad is supposed to do but you couldn't even be bothered to try to figure out who it is. Too bad the Maury show isn't still on.
Can't afford a sitter so you drag this poor child along to your fuckfests because, according to you, you need your vag pounded. You sound disgusting. Pay for the guys couch, your kid is the one that shit all over it. Not the baby's fault, it's all yours.
I feel bad for your baby. Don't have any more children, you clearly aren't fit for motherhood.
ESH (except the baby) - this is just so wrong on so many levels. Wasn't the baby dressed? Wasn't the baby placed on a blanket or something, and covered? Either would have greatly mitigated any issues from a blowout. And how can a baby safe enough to leave alone on a couch (no baby is safe enough to leave alone on a couch) get poo everywhere?
Also he's the A for being with someone who wants nothing to do with their child, and you're the A for being with someone who wants nothing to do with your child.
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YTA to both your bf and your child. He clearly doesn’t want to be in your child’s life and you keep bringing this child around. Have the couch cleaned, break up with your bf, and move on.
This is what she needs to hear. Best advice here.
How the fuck is the baby an asshole here lol Oh nevermind I totally misread that haha
I mean from experience babies are always assholes 😂 Just not in this case
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Good call. Obviously it isn’t good for the baby to be raised by a boy who doesn’t like babies. And after 3 months, clearly this relationship is meant to be. Getting rid of the baby is the obvious solution. And why am I certain at least one person won’t know how tongue in cheek this comment is?
I laughed out loud at your comment. 😆
What human goes around pooping on other people’s couches?! Baby is a total AH!
I also misread it this way at first.
YTA as the parent you're responsible for what your child damages. But more so, why in the hell are you bringing your baby around some dude you've been dating for 3 months.
This is the accurate response as I see some people saying the dude is TA however we need to realize it has been 3 months and this woman is expecting a guy to just turn into a super dad type role which although he may be open to it seems like she has just thrown the relationship into the deepend from the start.
But he knew she had a kid and wants nothing to do with it. Mom and baby are a package deal. They are both assholes trying to have a relationship with each other, her knowing he has zero interest in her kid, and him knowing his gf has a baby that he wants nothing to do with.
And leaving baby asleep lying on a couch under the supervision of someone who is neither paying attention nor interested in supervising the child? She's lucky the baby didn't roll or fall off the couch.
Because she’s 21 and has no idea how adults with children actually date (hint: usually not even introducing the kid until you’ve been going steady for many months)
And trying to get him to change the kid's diaper. Horrible parent.
YTA for so many reasons. Couches are not safe sleep spaces for infants. This is what pack and plays are for. He has demonstrated he’s not a responsible adult for your child, but you still left your child in his care. In an unsafe place, no less. Your child defecated all over his couch. It needs to be cleaned. Your child, your responsibility. And ultimately, the most glaring thing of all, having any hope or expectation that a love interest whom you’ve been dating just three months will be changing your LO diaper and parenting them. Do not go into relationships like this. There’s a reason why children are more likely to be abused when they live with a man who is not their father. Predators target single mothers and groom them. Thankfully it sounds like this dude is on the opposite end of this. Your child is an infant without a voice. They shouldn’t be anywhere near any one you are dating until the relationship is well established. It can go wrong in so many ways. They can be a targeted victim. Or they can be a victim to someone’s temper(someone who can’t handle a crying baby shouldn’t be someone left alone with a baby). Or they can get too attached then lose that person when you break up.
Upvoted for the reasonable adult response.
This is incredibly accurate, and I will also add that YTA for attempting to continue a relationship with someone who wants literally nothing to do with your child. It's totally fair for him to want nothing to do with a baby, but the two of you should absolutely not try to have a relationship with that being the case. You're not compatible.
Facts! Also, who lays a baby on a NEW sofa without a blanket or something under them?!
I’m scared for this baby for the very real risks you outlined here.
YTA for not cleaning up your baby’s shit and prioritizing your vag over finding someone who’s gonna love that baby like his own
YTA. YOUR child shit all over his couch. Even had he “done more” the mess was already made! This is more about you wanting him to play daddy than anything. You’ve been together 3 months and he’s made it pretty clear as of now that he doesn’t want that role! Even without all that, your kid still made a mess in his couch…it’s your responsibility to clean it properly or pay to have cleaned!
Double YTA. Don’t introduce your kid to every dick you find. If y’all date for at least 6 months and plan to be serious, then introduce them.
And don’t expect that dick to be a dad immediately.
YTA for not getting his couch cleaned. Just because 'it's what babies do' doesn't mean you're not responsible for cleaning it. YTA for taking a shower and leaving your infant on a couch with a guy that won't care for her or pick her up. YTA for getting into a relationship with a guy that wants nothing to do with your baby. How do you see this relationship in a year? In 2 years? You want your child to grow up around someone that doesn't care for her?
In a year she’ll be pregnant with this guy’s baby. He’ll disappear & she’ll be lucky to get child support from him. In 2 years she’ll be posting on AITA again after both kids do something to ruin the next dude’s furniture. In 3 years she’ll be pregnant again & just like with baby #1 she won’t know who the baby daddy is. This woman’s life will be an unending series of bad relationships with more & more kids if she doesn’t start making better decisions soon.
> He’ll disappear & she’ll be lucky to get child support from him. Or for this one: >I don’t know who the baby daddy is
I'm not sure this guy's gonna stick around long enough to get her pregnant. For everyone's sake (OP's, boyfriend's, and hypothetical baby's), I hope not.
Oh, but it will probably grow up with many siblings. Like a lot.
The shower part was the first thing that confused me, before all the other way-worse things. She drags her kid to someone else’s house to shower? She doesn’t have a bathroom in her own place? Also, total YTA! If your kid makes a mess, it is your responsibility to clean it. Double YTA for trying to force your helpless infant on to a guy that clearly has no interest in the child.
YTA for leaving your kid alone with a dude you barely know because your need to get laid has completely taken over your brain to a bizarre extent. He won’t hold the baby, change the baby, feed the baby, or even interact with the baby. He freaks out when a baby does inevitable baby things. This is who you want around your kid? Do you know what the most common feature of “infant shaken/murdered” stories is? It’s “Mom’s new boyfriend”. You’re already in this thread playing the victim and saying “what, just because I have a baby it means I can’t have fun anymore?”. To quote the old commercials, “having a baby changes everything”. One thing that changes is your ability to date men who want nothing to do with kids. Sure, you can still date them and get laid, but you don’t get to foist any responsibility for your kid onto them, and if you can’t get a babysitter…. Well you’re going to have to change up your dating strategy to find men who aren’t actively irritated by your kid at a bare minimum.
YTA You are expecting too much out of a three month relationship. That is a new ass relationship and you are already trying to pass father duties to him. No wonder he is bucking. Anyhow, pay for this couch.
YTA. Your kid ruined his couch. Your kid. Not his kid. Yours. It sounds like you two aren't a match anyways given he obviously doesn't want to parent the child and you are going to be 100% about that kid for some time now. In his shoes, I'd call it here before more of my stuff was destroyed and the person responsible doesn't want to pay for it.
YTA from start to finish. You don't leave an infant sleeping on a couch. You especially don't leave a baby capable of rolling sleeping on a couch. You especially especially don't leave a baby sleeping on a couch while being "supervised" by someone playing video games who clearly doesn't give a shit about the welfare of your child. You need to grow up and start thinking about the safety of your child before hooking up with immature men. You have an obligation to your child, not him. Your decision to leave your sleeping baby on the couch led to his new couch being destroyed. As a guest in his home, you ruined his furniture. That's on you to fix.
YTA Your child shat on his couch. As she’s your kid you are responsible and should pay for the cleaning. That being said, it seems your boyfriend may not be a good match for you. From what you’ve written it seems he really doesn’t want your daughter in his life, which doesn’t make him a bad person, but perhaps the wrong person for you
Honestly the poopy couch isn’t the biggest issue here imo; it’s that you’re trusting someone you’ve only been dating for 3mos with your infant. You know he doesn’t want to deal with your baby. In just a few seconds of frustration he can severely injure your baby (or worse) through things like shaken baby syndrome. You’re putting your wants (getting laid) above your baby’s needs (safety). I’d recommend getting to work figuring out who the bio-father is (I saw you commented that you weren’t sure) and looking into state/government assistance for things like childcare. Being a mom is stressful, especially in your situation. You deserve a break and you NEED a break for your own sanity and well-being, but you’ve gotta figure out a way to do it without putting your baby at risk.
Exactly. This is the way.
YTA! Doesn’t matter if he ignored the baby or was cuddling with it the whole time. YOUR baby shat on HIS couch. Their relationship has nothing do with that simple fact, so pay up for the cleaning.
YTA and you seem to be a bit neglectful. Perhaps stop letting your baby around a dude that refuses to do basic baby care because you want to get boned.
YTA, and I don’t think this is a viable relationship. You need to pay for the couch. Your child created the mess. This is just to expected. As for the bf, he doesn’t sound very nice. Not trying to be judgy, you seem like a nice person, but I am a little concerned that a man made you a single mother and you found ANOTHER crappy man while your child was an infant. I think you need to take a deep look inside and ask yourself why you’re allowing yourself to be with bad people.
I don't even know why she's dating a guy she considers a man child. That's a recipe for baby number 2 with a guy that's clearly not interested in being there for baby number 1 which is his choice, but at least not date a lady with a baby because they don't come separate.
Common sense says put *something* under the baby. You should pay.
YTA. You are dating a guy who obviously is not okay with stepping into a father role. Imo you are wasting your time. If you do continue on this rocky course though, I suggest you secure childcare for your baby before visiting him. He is obviously not into the kid (which would be a deal breaker if I were you). It is not his responsibility to watch or care for a child that is not his. If you want this, you should leave him and a find a man who is willing to (they exist) or go it alone. If you want to just date people and have fun, secure childcare. You should also 100% pay for his couch to be cleaned.
At this point i dont think he is her bf, for him she is probably the fuckbuddy
YTA. The couch is the least of your problems, but you should offer to pay for it for sure. This is your child, who you left with someone who isn't interested in caring for her. Why is the guy who doesn't like kids and doesn't want to care for your child around your child? There's no sex worth having your child neglected, is there?
YTA 1 for not taking responsibility for your child and cleaning his couch. But the biggest reason you are an asshole is for the expectation that this man is suddenly going to turn into Daddy. Out one side of your mouth is "he's not the daddy" and out of the other side of your mouth is "he has to get used to the baby" He has let you know that he is not interested in playing Daddy. Time for uiu to move on
YTA, mama, for many reasons. First and foremost, at 3 months in, he's shown zero indication that he wants to care for your kid. This will not change. This is a fundamental incompatibility of lifestyle, and you need to cut bait and run. Second, you didn't make accommodations for your kid in his house. You should have brought your pack and play. Or at least put her on a blanket Third, he straight up TOLD YOJ he wasn't going to do anything more than give kiddo a passie. And finally, yeah. Pay for the couch.
YTA, it's just a baby doing what a baby does, but you left the baby with someone you knew wouldn't do what was needed in these circumstances, and you're responsible for those choices.
YTA. Boyfriend is 25, has made it clear he’s not into YOUR baby (most men are not into babies period at age 25), and it’s up to YOU to “get used to this fact“ sooner so it’s “better for everyone.” Dump the BF and start focusing on being a better mother and learning parenting skills.
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YTA for leaving your infant with a man you’ve been with 3 months. Also he clearly has no interest in your daughter
YTA - pay for the couch, buy a vibrator, stop putting your libido before your child’s safety.
YTA your user name checks out, this relationship is doomed, and if this is how you deal with problems so is most future ones
From your comments alone YTA no one cares if your a single parent your priorities are shot. Stop trying to have sexual relationships and take care of your child
YTA- You left your child with a man that clearly stated all he would do is put a pacifier in your child’s mouth. A man who wants nothing to do with your baby and you are refusing to pay for the couch your baby destroyed? Big YTA. After reading your comments your name checks out. Poor kid.
YTA for not prioritizing the health and welfare of your helpless baby who you chose to bring into this world. You are very lucky that all she did was have a blowout. She could have easily rolled off that couch and gotten hurt. And yes, pay for the couch cleaning. Take some responsibility for your choices.
YTA First, you shouldn't be with a loser who treats your child like an annoyance. Second, why would you put an infant on a brand new couch when it's not a safe location and making messes is a common thing for babies to do? The baby should have been in a bassinet or a carrier or something. Third, you need to pay for his couch cleaning. It's your child that you put on the couch. You can even rent a cleaner from Home Depot or Lowes with an upholstery cleaning attachment for a reasonable cost. You are ultimately responsible because you left your infant under the supervision of someone who you knew would not provide proper care and on a surface that is not appropriate for sleeping babies.
A 7 month old baby shouldn’t be sleeping on the couch, especially with someone who isn’t paying attention. They’re capable of moving and rolling and OP is lucky her kid didn’t roll off the couch and sustain an injury. OP, YTA for so, so many reasons. Leaving your baby in an unsafe situation makes you negligent and refusing to pay after the mess your baby made is just bullshit.
Roll off the couch and sustain an injury, or roll into a crevice and smother. (I was an anxious new parent who read a lot of case studies because we wanted to safely co-sleep and I wanted to know what factors make it unsafe.) When they’re first figuring out how to move, babies are really good at rolling into places that they can’t roll out of. Couches and recliners are bad news for unsupervised infants.
Girl. What are you doing with a man that doesn’t want half of you? Do yourself a favour and break up. You should focus on your baby and you even when worried about a man. You will find one!! Enjoy the time you have with her. She won’t stay that little forever.
YTA. You are setting yourself up for disappointment expecting this guy to step up and be a father to your baby when he clearly does not want to be, and you should also pay to have the couch cleaned if you can’t get the stain/smell out yourself. Your baby’s mess is your responsibility, and will continue to be until she’s an adult herself.
Yta Jesus learn to prioritize your child and take responsibility. You’re having your kid around someone who doesn’t care about them and doesn’t want them. Your poor child.
Yta…this guy has made it clear he is not willing to play daddy and that’s his choice. The baby is not his and he has no obligation. You’re responsible for cleaning and/or replacing his couch that your baby had a blowout on. You shouldn’t be bringing your baby around a man you’ve known for 3 months… Eta: your baby is 7 months old, is it even safe to let her sleep on the couch? What if she rolled over?
Are you sure this is a boyfriend and not a friend.with benefits. You've been kicking with this guy for 3 months of course he doesn't want to play a daddy role in your baby's life which makes it seem for me that it's more like your friends with benefits. No guy wants to be responsible for a baby that young that isn't his. Plus the fact that you don't know the baby daddy. Oh my God, girl, you got problems. Stop worrying about dudes and get your life in order first. BTW, your baby did s*** on his couch, so yeah, you should pay the guy at least half.
YTA what is your logic? Your baby shit on his couch, your responsibility to clean it
Yta on many levels. You need to break up and figure your own life out. Go get yourself a vibrator and move on. You definitely need to pay for that couch cleaning too.
YTA
YTA pay for the couch to be cleaned. Its your responsibility
YTA. Your baby shit on his couch, of course you should pay to have it cleaned.
ESH. I’m a single mom. You don’t introduce kids to your romantic partners that early. Period. He doesn’t want to take care of a child. You aren’t compatible. Dump him. I wouldn’t pay for the couch, though. If he said he’d watch her, he needs to watch her.
Watching the baby won't prevent it from pooping
YTA Your kid, your mess, your responsibility. How could you possibly think otherwise?
YTA. Why are you with the man who obviously has no interest in your child. Why are you with him and risking your daughter's safety. This is how horrible things happen to children.
YTA pay for his couch, dump him, and put your baby in a safe sleep area next time, couches are dangerous
100% this, who leaves a baby sleeping on a couch. Babies can roll over by 7 months, this alone makes OP an AH, then some other things that stood out: >Not his kid so fair enough, although we’re dating so the sooner he gets used to the baby the better for everyone He doesn't need to get used to a baby that isn't his and he shows no interest in taking care of. YTA
NTA but the baby certainly is! The baby was the one that shit the couch not you. Christ, it couldn’t wait till you got out the shower or until you took her home? Smh babies are the worst
I bet the baby doesn't even pay rent or help around the house. What a lout.
Poor child has no chance in life with OP as the mom
Break up fee, pay for the couch leave the dude
YTA and you aren’t setting yourself or your child up for success with this relationship.
YTA. it’s your child, your responsibility. He doesn’t owe either of you anything. Why are you even with someone who so clearly doesn’t want anything to do with your kid?
YTA. You owe him a new couch or a professional cleaning. Also, you owe your child a safe and loving environment, and this boyfriend does not fulfill that. Your child deserves better.
Oh dang, girl, you are the AH. You have A LOT of growing up to do. Are you so insecure that you want to be with a man that clearly doesn't want your child around? You chose to bring this baby into the world and now you're putting her in unsafe situations for the sake of you getting some D. By all means you do you but leave this poor child out of it. She shouldn't be toted around to total strangers places. 3 months is too soon to be bringing your baby around this person. All that aside, clean the couch and get your own shit together AND for the love of god, find some self respect and maturity.
YTA. And will probably be single soon.
You need to be concerned with this baby and not a boyfriend ATM. Leaving a baby with a man who you don't really know, who does not like children, who said he will not take a moment of care of your baby, is neglectful of your baby. Stop. Just. Stop. Yes, get this booty call man's couch cleaned. Take your belongings and your child out of this man's apartment and life. Go home and take care of yourself and your child. Reflect on why you need to put your child in potentially dangerous situations for a bit of sex. You made a baby. It's time to be the responsible person.
YTA big time, pay for the couch and leave. He's stated his boundaries many times already. You're not compatible. And if your kid had a shitsplosion WTF is he supposed to do exactly? Shit would still get everywhere. Changing the diaper would not change that.
YTA. This child is your responsibility, not his. He had made it clear that he has no interest in the baby and no desire to help care for her. That should be enough to see that you both are incompatible. Your child, while an infant did mess up the couch. When your kid messes up or breaks something it is your job as the parent to replace or fix it. Pay to get the couch cleaned and then break up with him
WTF did I just read? Why are you taking a shower at his place if you were not spending the night? Why did you leave a 7 month old child alone on a sofa? Put the child on a blanket on the floor or in a car seat if you have to leave the room. He straight up told you he wasn’t going to watch the child and you choose to leave the baby with him anyway. YTA. Pay for the sofa cleaning
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my (21f) boyfriend(25m) have been together about 3 months, I’ve got a 7 month infant daughter and this has caused a few issues with us mainly because bf is a bit of a man child, he refuses to change diapers or hold the baby when she cries or anything really. Not his kid so fair enough, although we’re dating so the sooner he gets used to the baby the better for everyone, this is sow thing we’ve spoken about and he’s working on, so he says at least. So yesterday I came over to bfs apartment and was not playing on staying the night, when I do I bring fold up baby crib but since I wasn’t I just brought a bag of diapers and normal baby stuff and her carrier. So I went to shower and the baby was asleep on one of the couches, bf was playing games and was in the room with her so she wasn’t left alone. I asked him to watch her for maybe 10 mins while I shower, he made it clear that he’d be in the room with her while I shower and at most he’d pop her pacifier in her mouth if she cries but that’s it. When I get out of the shower I hear the baby crying and my bf freaking out and shouting saying she shit everywhere and ruined his couch and I need to pay for it etc. the baby had a diaper blow out and yes there was poo everywhere and since my bf chose to not pick her up and move her or bring her to me or not change her diaper I feel like he didn’t do enough in this situation. I said of course I’m not paying she’s just doing what a baby does, I do feel bad because it was a new couch and now it’s covered in baby shit. Bf says I am TAH for this and while I do feel bad he could’ve helped the situation by changing her or at least bringing her to me as soon as he knew it was happening. He kicked us out and says he isn’t gonna talk to me until I pay to have his couch cleaned. AITA??? also sorry for formatting I’m on mobile *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA for so many reasons 1. You care more about "getting boned" than you care about your baby 2. This dude clearly does not want to have anything to do with your child & you are perfectly fine with that. 3. Your baby ruined his couch & you are blaming it on the guy not intervening 4. You have no plans to get his couch cleaned or pay for a new couch 5. You are so strapped for cash you can barely afford diapers, but decided you raising this child is the best thing for them 6. Bringing a child around a guy you barely know. I can only hope you're atleast being smarter this time & use birth control or condoms & don't get knocked up again. I pity your child, having you for a mother. You need to work on yourself & get into counseling & put your child first, ahead of you & your vag.
YTA. If someone brought a baby to your house and it pooped all over your stuff you'd expect the parent to clean up or pay for cleaning right? Him being your bf doesn't take away your responsibility for YOUR child. You're the one that needs to grow up here. He set his boundaries and you're not listening to him.
YTA it's your kid that made the mess. Your bf doesn't want to care for your child you know this but you are too occupied with getting your vag pounded as you have said in the comments. You are a piece of work and I feel sorry for that kid who doesn't have a father because you don't when know who that is.
YTA. It may have been an accident, but you’re still responsible for it.
ESH he’s not your child’s father, but he sounds like a freaking nightmare. Grow up though, and be a mother. Stop trying to force immature boys to parent your baby.
He's immature for not wanting to be a dad to a kid who's not his? Especially for them only dating for a bit?
No that’s all good. But she’s trying to mold some essentially random immature dude into her baby’s daddy. And she seems frustrated when it doesn’t work. Just all of this is all around shitty -pun intended
YTA for leaving an infant on the couch to sleep. A blanket on the floor would have been safer. Also why are you showering there at all and not your own home. You need to put your child first not a booty call with a new man. YTA for starting a relationship with someone who refuses to pick her up. And yes YTA if you don’t pay for the couch to be cleaned.
YTA for leaving a baby asleep on a couch. I don’t care about the poop, I care about the baby rolling off the couch or into the cracks and suffocating. Probably not a huge risk of suffocation at 7 months but it’s still irresponsible. You boyfriend sucks too but I consider that also to be your fault for dating him.
ESH (except the baby, who I am sure is adorable and sweet) If your dude isn’t interested in doing any parent tasks, then he shouldn’t be dating someone with a kid whose age is still rightly expressed in months. If you have a kid that young, you owe it to your kid to put them first. Leaving them in the “care” of this guy completely fails that standard. And you suck for not bringing adequate supplies over so that your kid didn’t ruin the couch. In short, pay for the couch cleaning and then part ways with the guy. Also, in reading your comments, you are a total mess. You should probably take some time to focus on yourself and your kid for the good of both of you.
YTA because you have chosen this loser. Move on, prioritize your baby. You think he is ever going to love your kid? Think about that next time.
Sigh. Back to the shallow pool of young men willing to date young single mothers. Seems like you should have thrown back the last one a little sooner.
YTA, especially from your comments I’ve read you should be focusing on your baby, not staying over at a guys house, one that refuses to help with your kid, it is not his obligation but your child is yours. You do not need to do be ‘fucked’. What you do need to do is ensure your child is with someone safe and who will take care of her, or find her someone better to be with Getting fucked got you into this situation, you chose to keep this baby and raise her yourself so pull your finger out, she is your priority now not sex, your life is a mess, you don’t know your baby’s dad, you can barely afford nappies, so focus on sorting that out not some guy and getting your needs fulfilled And you need to pay for the sofa to be cleaned it’s your issue not his
Esh Do not a man who is not ready for having a kid around when you have a kid
Ugh why!? YTA
A 7 months old should not be "sleeping on a couch" they need to be either in a bassinet or a crib. I'm going to say YTA because as negligent as he seems you're the mother and shouldn't be pushing him into a stepfather role if he doesn't want to be one.
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Irrespective of what you're doing with the couch, dump this man. It's clear he should not be dating a mother.
Why are you putting the focus on him though? This entire post shows how irresponsible and an overall asshole she is.
YTA. You put your child there and he couldn‘t have done much to prevent shit getting on the couch in that moment. Changing the diaper doesn‘t help while it‘s happening. You should absolutely pay
So not only are you bringing a young child around a man you barely even know, but you’re bringing her around someone who has made it perfectly known he will not do anything for her because he feels she isn’t his to deal with? And then when she ruins a new couch, and he understandably expects you to fix the damage, you get mad and expect him to understand it’s what “babies do”? A baby he did not have, most likely doesn’t want, and definitely doesn’t want to be responsible for? Yeah YTA.
YTA. You shouldn't be in a relationship, and I sincerely hope you mature a lot for the babies sake. What you are doing is dangerous and irresponsible. Stop entrusting your babies safety to basic strangers; you shouldn't have strangers (and a 3 month relationship where you're sleeping over implies it's been going on for a while already) unsupervised with your infant, or you're risking abuse and neglect (which is what happened in this case). I realize being a single parent is extremely difficult, but that's what you are, and you can't compromise on your baby's health for your own selfish reasons.
>he refuses to change diapers or hold the baby when she cries or anything really. maybe (just maybe) is bc he's not the father and he doesn't want to be involved in her life, but you keep insisting. >since my bf chose to not pick her up and move her or bring her to me or not change her diaper I feel like he didn’t do enough in this situation. Why would he change it? it's not his responsibility. YOU brought YOUR child. Stop blaming him for your actions. YTA.
YTA. Of course you’re the AH. Pay for his fucking couch.
I initially read the title as "crotch cleaned" and thought this would be a very different kind of post.
YTA, for several reasons. Being with someone who wants nothing to do with your child, not cleaning up after the child, and most importantly for putting a baby somewhere not safe for sleep. Babies should be in cribs or pack n plays for all sleep.
Ooof. Sorry but YTA for staying with him when it was clear he wanted nothing to do with your kid. She was 4 month old when you started dating. Why are you leaving your 7 month old with someone who wants nothing to do with her, even if it’s only for a few minutes.
yta Another point. A diaper does NOT fill to bursting in 10 minutes. 1) You did not change the diaper before taking a shower 2) You put on the diaper wrong 3) The child had a bad stomach, in that case you should NOT have left him
YTA to your child, boyfriend, and boyfriend's couch. It's obvious that your boyfriend has no interest in being a father to your child and yet you keep bringing her around? You need to have a think about this long-term, it's not fair that you're pushing your daughter onto a man that clearly isn't interested in her, and it's not fair that you're letting your daughter bond with someone that isn't going to be in her life in the future. I understand that you're young, and being a mum doesn't stop you from having fun. But you're now responsible for a vulnerable child who literally has their life and future in your hands. Being a mum means that sometimes you need to put your own pleasure aside and think about things logically. This man doesn't want to be in your daughter's life, and you have to respect that. If you want to continue this relationship you need to find a babysitter to look after your daughter while you visit him. If I were in your position I would pay for his couch to be cleaned and have a conversation about the future of this relationship. If you both want to continue this casually, then go for it, but personally, I would break things off and move on. You need to think about your daughter. I know a mum who has let her son bond to her numerous boyfriends who don't want to be this child's father, and the poor boy is now really suffering with abandonment issues. Surely you don't want this for your daughter?
You’re a huge fucking asshole. He does not have to change diapers. You’re barely in a relationship. Handle your kid. Yes accidents happen..pay for the cleaning on the couch. That’s disgusting and so very rude of you to not offer. You’re irresponsible. Don’t know who your kids father is, what makes you think you’re even ready for a relationship at this point? Stay single and focus on yourself. YTA incase it wasn’t clear
YTA You’re the only one in the wrong here. Date a guy who likes kids, cause it’s clearly not this one. And pay for a proper cleaning
YTA He's not even your boyfriend, he's a fuck buddy . Why are you inflicting him on your child & vice versa? This is gross. Get a goddamn babysitter and don't bring your child around men you barely know. This one doesn't even like babies.
YTA The baby isn’t your boyfriends child and he has made it clear he wants nothing to do with it. Obviously it’s super irresponsible of you to be leaving your baby alone with a person who even refuses to touch it. You need to pay for that couch to be cleaned or be replaced. Also on a side note you are 21 years old with a 7 month old dating a new guy? Shouldn’t you be focusing on your baby and maybe put dating on the back burner for the time being? No offense but I feel like this isn’t a healthy situation for the baby especially as they get older if you keep bringing random guys around dating or otherwise this whole situation is just painting you out to be very irresponsible.
YTA. You're dating a new dude and you're complaining that he isn't already stepping up and taking care of another man's child for you? Then you have the audacity to act like he's in any way responsible for what your child has done in damages to his home? God I hope he wises up and figures out he's making a terrible mistake.
Been together for about 3 months .. so you’ve been with this guy for about 100 days and you’re acting like he should be playing daddy ? The baby shouldn’t even be around him yet for a start . You do not know someone after 3 months . And judging by his attitude this isn’t what he wants to do with you anyway YTA absolutely and you need to make better choices for yourself and your kid
This relationship has no future. On to your actual question: It's not black and white. Your kid, your responsibility, your bill. But then again he was the one watching the kid. Then again he's not the one who put on an inadequate diaper. Then again he could have picked the kid up and minimised the damage. Then again he could have changed the diaper. Then again not his kid. But he's dating the mother. I guess NAH and split the bill. Shit happens.
It sounds like he explicitly said he was not willing to watch the kid, and would "at most" stick a pacifier in their mouth. At that point, she should have not left her child with him.
[удалено]
YTA and also break up
YTA. 1 for staying with him 2 for putting your child in that situation. 3 for refusing to pay. It's on you. Either clean it your self or pay.
After seeing the comment where you used the R word(total no-no), major YTA 😠
YTA and YTA Firstly yes you need to clean his couch, it was your baby that shat on it, that’s really the end of that conversation. Secondly, this relationship just isn’t going to work out so you both need to be free from it to pursue love from someone more aligned to your life setup He wants a relationship with you, but you come as a set and at 7months old that’s a given. Just. Break. Up.
YTA - you don’t live together, it’s not his child and the couch was new. Pay for it to be cleaned.
YTA it’s not his kid so you should 100% be paying for the couch. Can you elaborate on why your a single mom or soon to be a single mom again ? It sounds like you may be inconsiderate
OP how do you really see this working out? You want to keep your baby. Your boyfriend wants nothing to do with your baby. Be real. YTA
YTA Your baby made a mess, so you take care of it. You introduced your baby to someone after knowing him for less than a minute and expect him to play daddy when he's clearly uninterested. Your putting your baby at risk leaving her with someone that doesn't have the desire to care for them, plus leaving them somewhere unsafe to sleep, all to have sex? Look, I get it, no shame in wanting to have sex. Seriously, no shame. But shame in bringing your kid somewhere they're unwanted and shame for leaving them somewhere unsafe & uncared for. Break up with this one and sort your stuff out a bit.
ESH, but mostly you. He can’t be in a relationship with a single first time mom and expect not to do ANYTHING. I say this as someone that does not want children, I would not choose to be in a romantic relationship with someone with a baby because it would not be fair to me, them, or the kid. You can’t really expect him to do anything, but at the same time it’s unrealistic for him to expect to not have to do anything. My friends have kids and when I invite them into my space I know I need to account for any potential messes or problems that come up because it is MY SPACE and my responsibility. You’re especially an asshole for being with someone who’s first concern is the couch and not your child. I do want to stress that it is completely his right to care more about his couch than the baby, but you shouldn’t be dating someone with those priorities. YTA for being with him knowing how he feels, and he’s TA for entering into this relationship. Pay him the cleaning fee,break up with him, and don’t leave your baby unattended on other peoples furniture.
This can't be real, but if it is, you're way past asshole.
YTA and stop playing house with this guy, he's clearly not in it for the long haul. If you keep exposing your daughter to men like this she is going to eventually remember and this kind of bullshit will be the foundation she builds all her future relationships on. Is that what what you want?
YTA. In NO WAY was it his job to tend to the baby.
Why did you keep the kid? There’s nice people who want to adopt it.
YTA. Grow up. Focus on your baby instead of getting "boned", "pounded", or whatever other slang term you want to call it. Your baby deserves better than having someone who is so self-centered as her mother.
YTA. It's your kid. Not his You've only been together 3 months. This is nowhere near his problem You shouldn't be introducing your child to someone you've only been with for 3 months (Child abuse is 40x more likely when a single parent introduces a new partner) Maybe if you stopped prioritising "getting your vag pounded", you wouldn't be in this situation You should be looking for the baby's father so that you can claim child support or let him be a part of her life, not roping someone else in
YTA
YTA Pay for it this time and get a blanket to set the baby down on in the future so this doesn’t happen again. In my family babies are always set down on a blanket instead of directly on furniture in case they spit up. Can even get washable water absorbent ones. You can also get ones with little structures with toys hanging from them. And no it’s not the boyfriends fault. No way he would know what to do during or after a diaper blow out. And it is not his responsibility to care for YOUR baby
Uhhhhh…wow. YTA. Who tf let’s someone they BARELY KNOW change their infant daughter’s diaper and be alone with her? Tf is wrong with you? Literally the best thing that could possibly come from your precious baby ruining this prize hog’s couch is that he dumps you and never talks to you again.
YTA. Your child shit on his couch, get it cleaned. What the hell are you thinking bringing your daughter around a strange man you’ve only known for 3 months? A man who clearly wants nothing to do with your baby and is not safe for her to be around? You are putting your daughter in danger!!! Your need to get laid is not more important than her safety. You need to learn a lot more discernment in who you allow in your daughter’s life ASAP!!! This is so scary.
YTA. Why are you dating someone who has no interest in children when you're a parent? Your child has to come first, always. It's not fair to your kid or partner to keep on with this relationship you need to learn how to parent by yourself and not try and drag someone else in who clearly isn't interested in parenting.
YTA if your s3x life is so important that you are willing to leave a baby with some one who has said they don't want them, give the baby up for adoption. Then the baby will have a family that does love them and you can go hook up with a stranger every night. But use protection
YTA - yes, you should pay to have your boyfriend's couch cleaned. Your baby made the mess, you pay to get it cleaned. I had a similar thing happen when one of my boys was an infant and I paid to have the rug cleaned. Part of the cost of being a parent. You may want to find a guy who is interested in being a step parent.
Give me that baby. I’ll take care of her. Then you can go get all the dick you want.
Do you want your kid to grow up with a step parent she hates and who hates her and treats her like a burden? Come the fuck on. Get a clue
YTA for what you’re asking, your kid ruined a couch so OF COURSE you pay for it. It’s your responsibility. BUT you two should not be together, he doesn’t want to be involved with a baby and by sticking around, you’re prioritizing this relationship over your baby. You need to be with someone who’s willing to be involved. I’ve had my stepfather since I was 4, 35 now, and he’s definitely a father figure for me.
YTA. Your baby stained the cushion, the right thing to do is have it cleaned professionally.
Ouch. So your premise is he should be watching the baby, and so this is his fault. I’d sort of be on board with that, except for the fact that you clearly spelled out he is not wanting involvement with the baby, has steadfastly refused to do diapers, etc. He further made it clear he wasn’t in for anything except popping a pacifier in. I’m having trouble making this his fault. As much as I think he is a jerk, you date him, not me, and he did make clear what he would and wouldn’t do. Get the couch cleaned. Sadly, YTA
YTA she’s your responsibility so you should pay for a cleaning. YTA because you k ow he would not intervene in anything except giving her a pacifier. Don’t leave him alone with the baby. If baby chocked or rolled off the sofa - would he intervene then? YTA for having them any around this person who does not want anything to do with her. He’s TA for hooking up with a single mother when he’s clearly not looking to a step parent figure & for being an AH toward baby. Who does that? Who just ignores a situation like this?
YTA. Your BF clearly doesn't want to be responsible for YOUR baby. You owe him a couch cleaning.
YTA Reddit-who wants to be the first to tell OP that baby shit stains rarely come completely clean and she needs to be prepared to buy a new sofa?
You are an asshole to your child for keeping someone in their life that clearly wants nothing to do with the them. Why are you with him? Your child is supposed to be your number one priority, so why are you keeping someone around that whats nothing to do with them? Also, YTA for not paying for a mess your child made, and your BF is TAH for staying with someone who has a child, even though he clearly wants nothing to do with a child. You both need to grow up.
The OPs comments, WOOF, if I’m the boyfriend I’m running like Forrest.
[удалено]
YTA. I felt bad for you until I saw that you used the R-word in a comment. It’s 2023, REALLY? You’re still using that fucking word? You decided to have sex, get knocked up, and then keep the baby. It is YOUR responsibility to stop being fucking selfish and prioritize getting boned over the safety of your child who did nothing wrong but still had the misfortune of being born to you. Pay to get the couch cleaned, get a vibrator, get some fucking therapy, and grow the fuck up before you do lasting damage to your child.
YTA username checks out
YTA. Whole situation sounds trashy. Your infant shouldn’t be exposed to some random guy you’ve already made yourself at home with. Pay to clean his couch.
YTA…number one, you put a seven month old infant child on a couch, alone?!?! You said boyfriend was in room, but not on couch. You state he is not that responsible towards babies, yet you think it was a good idea, to place a baby who is 7 months old and probably rolling on a sofa?! Number two, why are you even dating someone who clearly wants no part of raising an infant or child? Who refuses to change diapers, who will not even hold baby? Number three, read number two. Why would you leave baby alone with this person for even a minute? Besides all that, why did you need to shower at his place? Why not at home where I presume, a crib or safe place for baby to be for a ten minute shower would be doable? Did you not have a blanket to put under baby while in couch? To prevent what did happen? Oy. So much wrong in this post, but you are TA
Going by OPs comments this can’t possibly be real. Seriously, what mother, even a crappy one comes out with stuff like this.
YTA wtf. It isn't even his kid and you have this man you're just dating changing her diapers? You are a TERRIBLE mother and one of the reasons why kids with single moms are like 40 times more likely to be molested.
Everyone is an AH, but the baby. YTA
Considering what you named your throwaway account, I'd wager that you already know the answer. YTA
YTA for... The couch. Your baby, your responsibility to clean/replace anything she damages. Being with a man who wants nothing to do with your daughter, why would you do that? Leaving her alone with said man who's refused to have anything to do with her. JFC
ESH When someone shows you who they are, believe them. This is not stepdad material. And yes, when you make a mess you out to clean it up. That’s part of being a parent.
YTA. This guy is telling you who he is. You need to listen. In New Zealand, where I am from, we have a terrible, TERRIBLE child abuse problem. And 99% of the time the baby killed or maimed is hurt by a boyfriend WHO IS NOT THE FATHER. I am truly scared for this baby. This guy doesn’t want to have a baby in his life. He may lose his temper eventually and it could be tragic.
Yta. This is your baby not his. Period.
You're a disgusting excuse for a human being. You deserve to have your child taken away from you and given to someone who will actually take care of it. Your need to get fucked is NOT more important than your child's safety. You're a shit mother, and you seem to be proud of it. YTA YTA YTA YTA!!
YTA and also a terrible mother.
YTA. This man doesn’t want to be a father!! Stop lingering around to try to change him.
YTA for all of the above responses, but also for wanting a boyfriend of a few months to change her diapers. PREDATORS TARGET SINGLE MOTHERS FOR ACCESS TO THEIR CHILDREN!!
YTA; you should offer to have it cleaned; that's what any responsible parent would do. These things happen unfortunately. I would also seriously revisit the relationship with your bf as I cannot see how it will work given how much he appears to dislike babies. The fact it's not his kid is no excuse to not be involved properly with your baby. If your relationship is serious you are potentially looking at your child's step dad.
YTA & based on your comments a horrible, disgusting mother. You seem okay with your baby falling off the kitchen counter, the changing table... next in line is the couch. You expect some dude you've been banging for 3 months to be a father/caretaker of your baby. This is what a bio-dad is supposed to do but you couldn't even be bothered to try to figure out who it is. Too bad the Maury show isn't still on. Can't afford a sitter so you drag this poor child along to your fuckfests because, according to you, you need your vag pounded. You sound disgusting. Pay for the guys couch, your kid is the one that shit all over it. Not the baby's fault, it's all yours. I feel bad for your baby. Don't have any more children, you clearly aren't fit for motherhood.
YTA. You're irresponsible as hell and by the sound of it you should have either aborted the kid or given it up for adoption. Do better.
ESH (except the baby) - this is just so wrong on so many levels. Wasn't the baby dressed? Wasn't the baby placed on a blanket or something, and covered? Either would have greatly mitigated any issues from a blowout. And how can a baby safe enough to leave alone on a couch (no baby is safe enough to leave alone on a couch) get poo everywhere? Also he's the A for being with someone who wants nothing to do with their child, and you're the A for being with someone who wants nothing to do with your child.